1 00:00:02,169 --> 00:00:05,339 Okay, people. I know you're all anxious to go home, 2 00:00:05,422 --> 00:00:07,592 but we have some housekeeping to take care of first. 3 00:00:07,674 --> 00:00:09,684 As part of the new employee evaluation process, 4 00:00:09,760 --> 00:00:12,260 you all took a test to determine your workplace profile. 5 00:00:12,346 --> 00:00:16,476 Upon completion, you received a packet outlining your strengths, areas of growth, 6 00:00:16,558 --> 00:00:19,018 and ways to optimize your role in the company. 7 00:00:19,102 --> 00:00:22,022 You were instructed to sign that packet and return it to me. 8 00:00:22,105 --> 00:00:24,355 Simple. So simple, in fact, 9 00:00:24,441 --> 00:00:27,361 every MQ employee managed to follow these instructions 10 00:00:27,444 --> 00:00:29,494 except for the people in this room. 11 00:00:29,571 --> 00:00:31,571 Now, I'm sure you all have your reasons 12 00:00:31,657 --> 00:00:34,237 for not following this inarguably easy procedure, 13 00:00:34,326 --> 00:00:37,656 but we're not leaving until the packets are signed. 14 00:00:37,746 --> 00:00:42,746 So let's just be reasonable adults and sign our packets so we can all go home. 15 00:00:43,335 --> 00:00:44,335 Sound good? 16 00:00:46,129 --> 00:00:47,419 -No. -No, no. 17 00:00:47,506 --> 00:00:49,046 Because this test 18 00:00:49,132 --> 00:00:50,382 is absolutely the problem. 19 00:01:07,609 --> 00:01:09,399 Let's try this again. 20 00:01:09,486 --> 00:01:10,986 Now, according to company policy, 21 00:01:11,071 --> 00:01:13,951 I'm required to listen to your individual concerns. 22 00:01:14,032 --> 00:01:16,162 But before we start all that, 23 00:01:16,243 --> 00:01:20,793 I'm offering three vacation days to anyone who signs right now. 24 00:01:21,623 --> 00:01:22,793 Sold. 25 00:01:22,875 --> 00:01:24,665 You ain't got to tell me twice. 26 00:01:24,751 --> 00:01:26,211 Cancún, here I come. 27 00:01:28,338 --> 00:01:30,628 You see that? It's just that easy, people. 28 00:01:30,716 --> 00:01:32,626 -You sign your paper and-- -I have an issue. 29 00:01:32,718 --> 00:01:33,798 Big surprise. 30 00:01:34,511 --> 00:01:37,681 -I don't like the animal you made me. -I didn't make you anything. 31 00:01:37,764 --> 00:01:40,814 The test assigned you an animal profile based on your answers. 32 00:01:40,893 --> 00:01:43,443 It's just a simplistic way of distilling information. 33 00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:46,610 And because these things can be kinda clinical, it's just fun. 34 00:01:46,690 --> 00:01:49,480 It is fun! Sorry, sorry. 35 00:01:49,568 --> 00:01:52,278 Was that too loud? I'm used to just shouting over the radiator sound 36 00:01:52,362 --> 00:01:54,072 all by myself. So… 37 00:01:54,615 --> 00:01:57,905 Okay. Labeling human beings as animals is not fun. 38 00:01:57,993 --> 00:02:00,253 It's reductive and completely inaccurate. 39 00:02:00,329 --> 00:02:02,289 Oh, yeah? What animal did you get? 40 00:02:02,915 --> 00:02:05,165 -A baboon. Which is just… -Yeah, you did. 41 00:02:05,250 --> 00:02:07,290 -That checks out. -That tracks. 42 00:02:07,377 --> 00:02:09,297 -I agree with Rachel. -Thank you. 43 00:02:09,378 --> 00:02:10,418 The test is inaccurate. 44 00:02:10,506 --> 00:02:12,466 There's nothing wrong with the test. It's just-- 45 00:02:12,549 --> 00:02:15,799 It's simply putting a label on something that we already know is true. 46 00:02:15,886 --> 00:02:18,636 For example, the fact that the tester is a baboon. 47 00:02:18,722 --> 00:02:20,682 We all know that to be true. Correct? 48 00:02:20,766 --> 00:02:25,306 Or that I am a lion, which makes sense because, of course, king of the jungle. 49 00:02:25,395 --> 00:02:28,435 Okay. If you're happy with your animal, why are you here, Ian? 50 00:02:28,524 --> 00:02:29,864 As senior management, 51 00:02:29,942 --> 00:02:33,702 I think I should be made aware of what animal everyone got. 52 00:02:33,779 --> 00:02:36,909 -You really think that's necessary? -No, and I don't really care. 53 00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:39,330 But I wanna know what Poppy got. So tell me what she got. 54 00:02:39,409 --> 00:02:40,619 I can't tell you that. 55 00:02:40,702 --> 00:02:44,162 For the sake and safety of the pride, I should be made aware of what she got! 56 00:02:44,248 --> 00:02:47,788 No. I mean, I can't tell you because Poppy didn't take the test. 57 00:02:48,502 --> 00:02:49,502 Oh, man. 58 00:02:49,586 --> 00:02:50,626 What? 59 00:02:50,712 --> 00:02:54,382 She's been so busy with work that Montreal gave her a dispensation. 60 00:02:54,466 --> 00:02:58,006 Uh-oh. Sounds like Poppy's the king of the jungle. 61 00:02:58,095 --> 00:02:59,295 Oh, no. No, no. 62 00:02:59,388 --> 00:03:02,348 I'm never signing this thing. Never signing it. 63 00:03:02,432 --> 00:03:06,602 Thanks for that, Brad. Now, what can I do to get you to sign and leave? 64 00:03:06,687 --> 00:03:08,937 Nothing. I don't have a problem with the test. 65 00:03:09,022 --> 00:03:11,612 It's all bullshit. I'm just here for the data. 66 00:03:11,692 --> 00:03:14,402 -And you? -I would've signed. Brad took my packet. 67 00:03:14,486 --> 00:03:16,736 She'll sign when I sign. There's a lot here for her to learn. 68 00:03:16,822 --> 00:03:18,872 I'm not sure what I could learn from a mouse. 69 00:03:18,949 --> 00:03:22,199 Bradley! You got mouse? Me too. Mouse friends! 70 00:03:22,286 --> 00:03:25,576 -Cute. You and Sue are the same. -We're the same. 71 00:03:25,664 --> 00:03:28,924 No. I didn't get mouse. I answered the stupid test randomly. 72 00:03:29,001 --> 00:03:30,921 You got mouse without even trying, huh? 73 00:03:31,795 --> 00:03:32,875 That makes sense. 74 00:03:33,964 --> 00:03:35,884 What animal did you get, Jo? 75 00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:38,260 Shark. 76 00:03:39,428 --> 00:03:40,928 And so it begins. 77 00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:44,890 What is happening? 78 00:03:44,975 --> 00:03:46,725 I predicted this day would come. 79 00:03:47,519 --> 00:03:49,979 Jo believes she's ready to assert her dominance 80 00:03:50,063 --> 00:03:51,823 and is attempting to devour me. 81 00:03:51,899 --> 00:03:54,689 Please. What kind of a meal would a mouse make for a shark? 82 00:03:54,776 --> 00:03:57,736 One bit of advice: You come at me, strike to kill. 83 00:03:57,821 --> 00:04:01,331 Rest assured, if you get near my teeth, I will rip out your throat. 84 00:04:01,867 --> 00:04:04,407 What? No one is killing anyone. 85 00:04:04,494 --> 00:04:05,504 Metaphorically, Carol. 86 00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:10,499 Mark my words. When this dance is done, one of us will be in the other's mouth. 87 00:04:12,002 --> 00:04:14,422 All right. What'd I miss? 88 00:04:14,505 --> 00:04:17,415 Brad and Jo are dancing and trying to eat one another. 89 00:04:18,675 --> 00:04:19,675 Fuckin'-A. 90 00:04:20,177 --> 00:04:22,047 If I may! 91 00:04:22,638 --> 00:04:24,598 Shit. C.W., I forgot you were there. 92 00:04:24,681 --> 00:04:27,181 I do believe I'm missing a great deal of the action. 93 00:04:27,267 --> 00:04:28,687 Yeah, you know what, man? 94 00:04:28,769 --> 00:04:30,979 I actually had the art department whip up something 95 00:04:31,063 --> 00:04:34,363 so that your presence here would be a little bit less weird. 96 00:04:35,651 --> 00:04:38,571 -Goddamn. -That is so much more weird. 97 00:04:38,654 --> 00:04:40,914 That's exactly what a baboon would say, isn't it? 98 00:04:40,989 --> 00:04:42,119 Just give it a second. 99 00:04:42,199 --> 00:04:43,199 Careful now. 100 00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:45,993 And how about that? 101 00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:49,210 -How do I look? -Actually, not that bad. 102 00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:52,039 -It's uncanny. -It actually came together quite nicely. 103 00:04:52,584 --> 00:04:56,714 Now, if I may, I'd like to propose an exchange. 104 00:04:56,797 --> 00:05:00,127 I'm told there's a certain task 105 00:05:00,217 --> 00:05:03,427 which must be performed before my next paycheck will be relinquished. 106 00:05:04,054 --> 00:05:06,724 Now, if a certain someone 107 00:05:06,807 --> 00:05:10,347 would spill their ink on the dotted line of compliance, 108 00:05:10,853 --> 00:05:13,153 I may be motivated to do so in kind. 109 00:05:13,230 --> 00:05:16,530 If you are talking about the sensitivity training that you've been dodging, 110 00:05:16,608 --> 00:05:19,318 I can't sign off on it until you complete the training. 111 00:05:20,279 --> 00:05:22,529 That means watching the video until the end. 112 00:05:22,614 --> 00:05:26,994 Indoctrination videos? Tests to put people into categories? It's Orwellian. 113 00:05:27,077 --> 00:05:30,207 -You are a goddamn robot! -I agree with C.W. 114 00:05:30,998 --> 00:05:32,038 Really? 115 00:05:33,417 --> 00:05:34,497 Not about the video. 116 00:05:34,585 --> 00:05:35,875 He should watch the video. 117 00:05:35,961 --> 00:05:39,591 I just think that you can't shove people into neat little boxes 118 00:05:39,673 --> 00:05:41,183 to fit some pre-prescribed narrative. 119 00:05:41,258 --> 00:05:42,588 I mean, take me, for example. 120 00:05:42,676 --> 00:05:46,466 I am a multidimensional woman who also happens to be a gay person of color. 121 00:05:47,055 --> 00:05:49,265 -What color? -I'm half-Asian. 122 00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:50,679 My mom was born in Thailand. 123 00:05:51,643 --> 00:05:54,813 Thailand. So many fond memories. 124 00:05:54,897 --> 00:05:57,567 Bangkok? You better believe it, man. 125 00:05:57,649 --> 00:06:00,069 Phuket? Don't mind if I do. 126 00:06:00,611 --> 00:06:03,411 I once found myself knee-deep in a mud pit with-- 127 00:06:03,488 --> 00:06:04,948 -You know what? -No, no! No. 128 00:06:05,032 --> 00:06:07,242 I am gonna pull up the sensitivity training video. 129 00:06:07,326 --> 00:06:08,866 Carol, wait. You're gonna love this. 130 00:06:08,952 --> 00:06:11,752 And you may not come back until it's finished. 131 00:06:11,830 --> 00:06:14,250 As you wish, fascist. 132 00:06:14,333 --> 00:06:17,043 Resist, my Asian brother. Sister. 133 00:06:17,127 --> 00:06:20,127 I'm sorry. I'm still not sure what to call you. 134 00:06:20,214 --> 00:06:21,924 Will somebody roll his ass outta here? 135 00:06:22,007 --> 00:06:24,087 Me! I'll do it. 136 00:06:24,176 --> 00:06:26,716 -You can give me the tour, kind sir. -Yeah. Fine. 137 00:06:26,803 --> 00:06:29,313 Kinda reminds me of wheeling my dad around. 138 00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:31,019 Hey, do you know any hymns? 139 00:06:31,099 --> 00:06:34,099 Can we circle back to this one not being white? Because I find that offensive. 140 00:06:34,186 --> 00:06:36,096 I find it offensive that you find it offensive. 141 00:06:36,188 --> 00:06:37,858 It's an important part of my identity. 142 00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:39,528 Say something in Thai. 143 00:06:40,442 --> 00:06:44,282 -I can't speak it, but I understand it. -Oh, cool. 144 00:06:49,910 --> 00:06:51,080 What? 145 00:06:51,161 --> 00:06:53,871 I said, "Black, white, brown, green. 146 00:06:53,956 --> 00:06:56,496 You're the most annoying person in the world." 147 00:06:56,583 --> 00:06:58,593 I had a Thai girlfriend in the '90s. 148 00:06:58,669 --> 00:07:00,549 Maybe it was Rachel's mom. 149 00:07:00,629 --> 00:07:02,919 -Jo. -Jo. There's no reason to be mean. 150 00:07:03,006 --> 00:07:07,676 I am way too young to have dated Rachel's most likely equally annoying Thai mother. 151 00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:09,351 My mother is not annoying. 152 00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:11,889 -Then you must get it from your dad. -Oh, my God. 153 00:07:11,974 --> 00:07:14,484 I cannot be the only person that finds this test oppressive. 154 00:07:15,018 --> 00:07:16,098 Oppressive? 155 00:07:16,687 --> 00:07:19,267 You think 'cause you're half-white you can go calling stuff oppressive. 156 00:07:19,356 --> 00:07:20,396 I'm sorry. 157 00:07:20,482 --> 00:07:22,612 Is that something you learned at your private college, 158 00:07:22,693 --> 00:07:24,243 paid for with your trust fund? 159 00:07:24,319 --> 00:07:26,949 -She did it, Carol. She-- -Not now, bracelets. 160 00:07:27,030 --> 00:07:28,410 You wanna know what's oppressive? 161 00:07:28,490 --> 00:07:30,870 The old way we used to do these employee evaluations. 162 00:07:30,951 --> 00:07:34,791 Where old Carol had to go around listening to everybody's daddy issues, 163 00:07:34,872 --> 00:07:38,042 and you would show me your skin rashes like I'm WebMD. 164 00:07:38,125 --> 00:07:40,085 I'm not going back to the old way. Okay? 165 00:07:40,169 --> 00:07:44,919 Do you hear me? I am not going back! You know what? I need five. 166 00:07:50,512 --> 00:07:52,432 She got us in-- You got us in trouble. 167 00:08:06,195 --> 00:08:09,815 Hey, hey. Get out of there. 168 00:08:09,907 --> 00:08:11,527 -But we're so hungry! -Yeah! 169 00:08:11,617 --> 00:08:15,197 Look, Carol, I have to have protein, and there's nothing to eat in here. 170 00:08:15,287 --> 00:08:16,617 The lion must feed. 171 00:08:16,705 --> 00:08:20,075 You know, you could all just sign your packets and go get a proper meal. 172 00:08:20,167 --> 00:08:21,587 Hell, I'll treat you. 173 00:08:21,668 --> 00:08:23,998 No. I don't wanna sign. I don't like being an otter. 174 00:08:24,087 --> 00:08:26,377 Really? But otters are so cute. 175 00:08:26,465 --> 00:08:28,005 Maybe I don't wanna be cute. 176 00:08:28,091 --> 00:08:30,011 Again, it's not defining you. 177 00:08:30,093 --> 00:08:33,263 It's just a simplistic way of delineating your personality. 178 00:08:33,347 --> 00:08:35,927 How accurate can it be? It gave David wolf. 179 00:08:36,642 --> 00:08:37,852 That's right, baby. 180 00:08:39,895 --> 00:08:42,895 -I'm a wolf. -Yeah, we know. 181 00:08:42,981 --> 00:08:46,031 He won't shut up about it. This has been the greatest week of his life. 182 00:08:46,109 --> 00:08:47,739 Then why didn't you sign your packet? 183 00:08:47,819 --> 00:08:52,369 It's not in a wolf's nature to roll over and expose his soft underbelly. 184 00:08:52,449 --> 00:08:54,079 Especially not to authority. 185 00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:58,458 No, Carol. I walk my own path. 186 00:09:09,091 --> 00:09:10,631 Room seems smaller. 187 00:09:10,717 --> 00:09:11,757 Oh, God. 188 00:09:11,844 --> 00:09:16,274 Also, I left my packet in Yorba Linda. 189 00:09:17,182 --> 00:09:20,192 -I don't know what that means. -I said, Yorba Linda. 190 00:09:20,269 --> 00:09:22,809 All right. I'll be the one that takes the bait. 191 00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:25,686 David, why were you in Yorba Linda? 192 00:09:25,774 --> 00:09:28,494 Bradley, you want to pop the news? 193 00:09:28,569 --> 00:09:29,949 David's got a girlfriend. 194 00:09:30,362 --> 00:09:31,362 That's sweet. 195 00:09:31,446 --> 00:09:33,316 -Yeah, that's nice. -Ain't no thing. 196 00:09:33,407 --> 00:09:34,447 She's a widow. 197 00:09:35,409 --> 00:09:37,829 -Yeah, that makes sense. -But she's a young widow. 198 00:09:37,911 --> 00:09:41,001 -That's so much sadder, bud. -How'd her husband die? 199 00:09:41,665 --> 00:09:46,125 I don't know. I haven't asked that yet. It's still fresh. 200 00:09:46,211 --> 00:09:47,671 The relationship or the body? 201 00:09:47,754 --> 00:09:50,674 The relationship, Jo. Well, both, actually. 202 00:09:50,757 --> 00:09:53,387 Look, it's going pretty good. 203 00:09:53,468 --> 00:09:56,008 I spent the night last night, and let's just say 204 00:09:56,096 --> 00:09:57,506 I did not get much sleep. 205 00:09:57,598 --> 00:09:59,178 -She was crying? -Yeah. 206 00:09:59,266 --> 00:10:03,226 Yeah, she's a little raw with everything. 207 00:10:03,729 --> 00:10:05,359 Her husband died, so… 208 00:10:05,439 --> 00:10:08,609 Also, I had to leave at, like, 4:00 a.m. It's a super far-- 209 00:10:08,692 --> 00:10:10,862 The traffic on the 60-- Have you guys been on the 60? 210 00:10:10,944 --> 00:10:12,454 David, you know what? 211 00:10:12,529 --> 00:10:15,529 I'm gonna print out another copy of your packet for you to sign. 212 00:10:15,616 --> 00:10:18,536 Hey, Carol. Will you print one out for me too? 213 00:10:18,619 --> 00:10:19,619 You bet. 214 00:10:19,703 --> 00:10:22,923 Brad can use my old one as bedding in his little mousy housey. 215 00:10:22,998 --> 00:10:25,788 Running away, huh? Doesn't sound like a very shark move. 216 00:10:25,876 --> 00:10:26,916 You afraid to fight me? 217 00:10:27,002 --> 00:10:28,922 I'm not scared of you, Brad. 218 00:10:29,004 --> 00:10:30,304 I know about the pig. 219 00:10:30,380 --> 00:10:33,720 What? Pig? There's no pig on the wheel. 220 00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:35,890 Kate, the 4-H pig. 221 00:10:35,969 --> 00:10:38,469 When it came time to slaughter her, Brad got soft. 222 00:10:38,555 --> 00:10:41,425 -A flickering moment of weakness. -I'm not so sure about that. 223 00:10:41,517 --> 00:10:44,057 Even during your time at MQ, you've shown your true nature. 224 00:10:44,144 --> 00:10:47,444 You got David a date, and now he's so deluded, he thinks he's a wolf. 225 00:10:47,523 --> 00:10:50,903 Hey. The test only told us what we were already thinking. 226 00:10:50,984 --> 00:10:53,404 I did get David a date, and he is deluded. 227 00:10:53,487 --> 00:10:55,277 Was that weak? Or was it strategic? 228 00:10:55,364 --> 00:10:58,874 Think of how malleable he'll be when it all falls apart. Which it will. 229 00:10:58,951 --> 00:11:03,331 No way. She already took down three photo collages of her late husband. 230 00:11:03,413 --> 00:11:05,293 This wolf is in the den to stay. 231 00:11:05,374 --> 00:11:07,794 You got Dana her job back after she shit the bed as a streamer. 232 00:11:07,876 --> 00:11:10,336 Yeah, as a favor to the baboon, and now I own her. 233 00:11:10,420 --> 00:11:12,920 -Are they talking about you? -Different baboon. 234 00:11:13,006 --> 00:11:15,296 But you never used her. 235 00:11:15,384 --> 00:11:17,894 You helped out of the goodness of your heart. 236 00:11:17,970 --> 00:11:19,890 You really are a mouse. 237 00:11:19,972 --> 00:11:21,472 Did you really save my job, Brad? 238 00:11:21,557 --> 00:11:23,097 No, you stupid otter. 239 00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:26,443 Okay. You know what? We all just gonna forget about the animals. Okay? 240 00:11:26,520 --> 00:11:28,310 Throw out the animals. No one is an animal. 241 00:11:28,397 --> 00:11:30,727 No, Carol. I can't forget about the animals. 242 00:11:30,816 --> 00:11:35,356 See, here it says otters are "emotional, agreeable, social and empathetic." 243 00:11:35,445 --> 00:11:38,695 But I'm a serious person, and I want people to take me seriously. 244 00:11:38,782 --> 00:11:41,292 Okay, as someone that knows Dana best-- 245 00:11:41,368 --> 00:11:43,038 What's her middle name? 246 00:11:43,787 --> 00:11:44,827 What? 247 00:11:45,539 --> 00:11:48,789 The other tester. Your girlfriend. The one you know so much about. 248 00:11:48,876 --> 00:11:50,666 What is her middle name? 249 00:11:52,171 --> 00:11:55,721 Her middle name is 250 00:11:57,134 --> 00:12:01,354 -Keesha. -No. 251 00:12:01,430 --> 00:12:02,890 -Okay. -Wow. 252 00:12:02,973 --> 00:12:03,973 Dude, whatever. Okay? 253 00:12:04,057 --> 00:12:07,517 I know Dana, and she is way too multifaceted and complex a person 254 00:12:07,603 --> 00:12:09,233 -to be defined-- -I wanna be a wolf. 255 00:12:09,313 --> 00:12:10,863 They all do, baby. 256 00:12:12,482 --> 00:12:14,072 You wanna be like David? 257 00:12:14,151 --> 00:12:18,571 No. I just think that it describes me better. See, look. 258 00:12:18,655 --> 00:12:21,025 -It says here "wolves are independent." -Yep. 259 00:12:21,116 --> 00:12:22,486 -"Hyper-focused." -Like a laser. 260 00:12:22,576 --> 00:12:24,236 -"Detailed-oriented." -Nothing too small, baby. 261 00:12:24,328 --> 00:12:26,538 "And have a healthy disrespect for authority." 262 00:12:27,372 --> 00:12:30,712 And there it is. I'm a wolf from snout to rump. 263 00:12:31,376 --> 00:12:34,166 Don't get these hackles up, or you'll get the fangs. 264 00:12:35,756 --> 00:12:37,506 Know what I mean? 265 00:12:37,591 --> 00:12:39,641 -No. -What the fuck are you talking about? 266 00:12:39,718 --> 00:12:43,058 My point is I can't be an otter and a programmer. 267 00:12:43,138 --> 00:12:44,598 -I thought you were a tester. -For now. 268 00:12:44,681 --> 00:12:48,311 But I'm thinking about applying to the computer sciences program at Berkeley. 269 00:12:48,393 --> 00:12:52,983 Wait. You are? Why didn't you tell me? Berkeley is, like, six hours away. 270 00:12:53,065 --> 00:12:56,435 Now that is a long way to travel for a relationship. 271 00:12:56,527 --> 00:12:58,447 Can we talk about this later? 272 00:12:58,529 --> 00:13:00,659 I didn't mean for it to come out like this. 273 00:13:01,448 --> 00:13:04,988 Yeah. We can talk about it later. No problem. 274 00:13:05,619 --> 00:13:06,999 I'll sign, Carol. 275 00:13:15,212 --> 00:13:18,722 Whatever. One down, too many to go. 276 00:13:18,799 --> 00:13:20,299 Let's keep this train moving. 277 00:13:20,384 --> 00:13:23,144 All right, Carol. I'm here. This better be good. 278 00:13:23,220 --> 00:13:26,270 What? No. We're not adding people. 279 00:13:26,348 --> 00:13:28,178 Wait. What is this? Is this an intervention? 280 00:13:28,267 --> 00:13:31,847 Yes, it is, because everyone is upset that you have not taken the test. 281 00:13:31,937 --> 00:13:33,107 They are? 282 00:13:33,188 --> 00:13:34,058 -Not really, no. -No. 283 00:13:34,147 --> 00:13:35,647 -Nah. -They are. 284 00:13:35,732 --> 00:13:38,282 They're suppressing their feelings. Trust me. I know my pride. 285 00:13:38,360 --> 00:13:40,400 I think the reason you didn't want to do it is because 286 00:13:40,487 --> 00:13:42,777 you were afraid that it would be revealed 287 00:13:42,865 --> 00:13:45,275 that you were some sort of megalomaniac narcissist. 288 00:13:45,367 --> 00:13:48,157 What? That sounds like you. I'm a great boss. 289 00:13:48,245 --> 00:13:49,865 Tell him, Dana. 290 00:13:50,581 --> 00:13:51,831 Yeah. 291 00:13:51,915 --> 00:13:53,245 She is. 292 00:13:53,834 --> 00:13:56,344 Wow. Some hype man. Why are you here? 293 00:13:56,420 --> 00:13:57,800 I don't wanna sign my packet. 294 00:13:57,880 --> 00:13:59,880 Who cares what you want? You work for me. 295 00:13:59,965 --> 00:14:02,335 Do what I want. Sign your packet and get out. 296 00:14:03,343 --> 00:14:04,433 Okay. 297 00:14:05,220 --> 00:14:06,640 I'll sign. 298 00:14:17,316 --> 00:14:20,276 It's not on the packet, but I will accept that. 299 00:14:21,069 --> 00:14:22,739 Sister girl done flipped the script. 300 00:14:22,821 --> 00:14:23,781 -David. -David. 301 00:14:23,864 --> 00:14:25,324 -David. -David. 302 00:14:25,407 --> 00:14:26,617 Sorry. 303 00:14:26,700 --> 00:14:29,240 Poppy, what a great mentor you are. 304 00:14:29,328 --> 00:14:31,368 You should do a TED Talk on yelling at subordinates. 305 00:14:31,455 --> 00:14:33,245 -Fuck you. -Carol, 306 00:14:33,332 --> 00:14:35,882 I'd like to lodge a sexual harassment complaint against Poppy. 307 00:14:35,959 --> 00:14:38,549 She just said she wants to "F" me in front of everybody. 308 00:14:38,629 --> 00:14:40,299 I do not want to "F" you. 309 00:14:40,380 --> 00:14:41,720 Oh, yeah? 310 00:14:41,798 --> 00:14:43,338 Then why you dreaming about it? 311 00:14:43,884 --> 00:14:44,934 Hey, Pop. 312 00:14:45,844 --> 00:14:46,974 You know about that? 313 00:14:47,054 --> 00:14:48,814 A lion knows everything about his pride. 314 00:14:48,889 --> 00:14:50,269 Okay. Well, we established 315 00:14:50,349 --> 00:14:52,889 that those dreams are about power and dominance. 316 00:14:52,976 --> 00:14:55,976 For the record, Carol, Poppy is dreaming about my power and dominance. 317 00:14:56,063 --> 00:14:58,273 -So is David. -Yeah. 318 00:14:59,066 --> 00:15:01,186 -Can't say I never have. -It's an epidemic. 319 00:15:01,276 --> 00:15:02,316 I'm leaving. 320 00:15:02,402 --> 00:15:04,282 I'm not signing until she takes the test. 321 00:15:04,988 --> 00:15:06,278 Poppy, wait. 322 00:15:06,365 --> 00:15:08,735 I cannot believe I'm adding more people to this shit show, 323 00:15:08,825 --> 00:15:11,365 but do you think you could just take the test? 324 00:15:11,453 --> 00:15:12,503 Then this can all be over. 325 00:15:12,579 --> 00:15:13,999 You know what, Carol? 326 00:15:14,081 --> 00:15:17,461 To prove that I am not the ego monster that Ian is, 327 00:15:17,543 --> 00:15:21,173 I will graciously take the test to help out one of my employees. 328 00:15:21,255 --> 00:15:23,915 -But I don't work for you. -Do you want me to take the test or not? 329 00:15:24,007 --> 00:15:26,177 -Here you go. -How does it work? 330 00:15:26,260 --> 00:15:28,970 You just answer each statement with a rating from one to five. 331 00:15:29,054 --> 00:15:31,724 One means strongly agree. Five means strongly disagree. 332 00:15:33,892 --> 00:15:35,892 Hate to buck authority here, 333 00:15:35,978 --> 00:15:38,808 but I think you got those numbers switched. 334 00:15:38,897 --> 00:15:40,477 I assure you that I do not. 335 00:15:41,650 --> 00:15:43,320 I think you do, babe. 336 00:15:44,278 --> 00:15:46,408 That's actually the opposite that I did mine. 337 00:15:48,240 --> 00:15:51,700 David, is it possible you took the test backwards? 338 00:15:51,785 --> 00:15:53,575 Which means if you answered correctly, 339 00:15:53,662 --> 00:15:58,502 your answer should've led you to the exact opposite animal. 340 00:15:59,960 --> 00:16:01,670 Signing! Signing now. 341 00:16:01,753 --> 00:16:03,673 Here we go. Just click, click. 342 00:16:03,755 --> 00:16:05,085 'Cause I'm a wolf. 343 00:16:05,174 --> 00:16:07,764 And the wolf is out, baby. 344 00:16:20,689 --> 00:16:24,069 Elevator's not here so just gotta wait. Got to wait. 345 00:16:24,151 --> 00:16:26,991 You know, I'm just gonna take the stairs. Wolf's out baby. 346 00:16:32,117 --> 00:16:33,287 Well… 347 00:16:34,161 --> 00:16:37,501 Might as well just take the elevator because a lot of stairs. 348 00:16:38,123 --> 00:16:39,373 Wolf out, baby. 349 00:16:40,292 --> 00:16:41,542 Shit. Is this going up? 350 00:16:42,377 --> 00:16:44,917 There goes a butterfly in wolf's clothing. 351 00:16:45,005 --> 00:16:48,215 Ian, if you're done with Poppy and you need a new protégé, I'm available. 352 00:16:48,300 --> 00:16:50,680 It'd be good to be back with an actual apex predator. 353 00:16:50,761 --> 00:16:54,141 Leaping from powerful man to powerful man to prove you're a shark 354 00:16:54,223 --> 00:16:56,393 just proves you're not a shark. 355 00:16:56,475 --> 00:16:58,055 You're a remora. 356 00:16:58,143 --> 00:17:00,563 You're just a bottom-feeder along for the ride. 357 00:17:00,646 --> 00:17:02,146 You'll never be a shark. 358 00:17:02,231 --> 00:17:04,941 Then why did you bring me on? Out of pity? 359 00:17:05,025 --> 00:17:07,025 No, of course not. 360 00:17:07,109 --> 00:17:09,659 -That would be a nice thing to do. -Then it was fear. 361 00:17:09,738 --> 00:17:13,578 You saw something in me that scared you, and so you needed to pull it close. 362 00:17:14,201 --> 00:17:17,041 Dear Lord, please don't start spinning again. 363 00:17:17,913 --> 00:17:20,423 And you're right. I did attach myself to you. 364 00:17:21,290 --> 00:17:22,920 But I'm not a remora. 365 00:17:23,544 --> 00:17:28,264 I'm a lamprey, and I've sucked you dry, and there is nothing left to nourish me. 366 00:17:28,339 --> 00:17:30,009 So I'm done with you. 367 00:17:34,388 --> 00:17:36,098 Packet. 368 00:17:45,482 --> 00:17:48,532 One thing about parasites, they can't survive without a host. 369 00:17:49,862 --> 00:17:52,072 Careful who you attach yourself to next. 370 00:17:52,155 --> 00:17:55,275 Save it, mouse. You're not even in my food chain. 371 00:18:11,049 --> 00:18:14,889 Well, that was bizarre, yet oddly thrilling. 372 00:18:14,970 --> 00:18:16,850 They could've just handed 'em to me. 373 00:18:16,930 --> 00:18:18,140 I'm right here. 374 00:18:18,849 --> 00:18:20,429 Okay. Done! 375 00:18:20,517 --> 00:18:23,397 Great. Carol, score her right now so we can be done with this. 376 00:18:23,478 --> 00:18:24,478 Yep. 377 00:18:35,365 --> 00:18:40,445 You know, the results aren't as important as the process. 378 00:18:40,537 --> 00:18:43,327 -So I think you should-- -What did she get? What did she get? 379 00:18:45,542 --> 00:18:48,342 Lion? She got lion too? 380 00:18:48,420 --> 00:18:49,710 Sounds right to me. 381 00:18:49,796 --> 00:18:51,296 No, that doesn't make any sense. 382 00:18:51,381 --> 00:18:54,091 There can't be two alpha lions in the same pride. 383 00:18:54,176 --> 00:18:57,466 But you made me co-creative director. 384 00:18:57,554 --> 00:18:58,934 You made me a lion. 385 00:18:59,014 --> 00:19:00,314 The point is now you know. 386 00:19:00,390 --> 00:19:02,180 So you gotta sign your packet. 387 00:19:02,267 --> 00:19:05,017 I'm not signing shit. I don't know what she is, but she's not a lion. 388 00:19:05,103 --> 00:19:08,233 Well, I'm not signing anything until he admits that I am a lion! 389 00:19:08,315 --> 00:19:11,315 She probably lied on the test. That's what happened. She lied. 390 00:19:11,401 --> 00:19:13,361 He probably lied too. Give me his test! 391 00:19:13,445 --> 00:19:14,605 Give it! Give it! 392 00:19:17,366 --> 00:19:18,986 I may die here. 393 00:19:25,707 --> 00:19:27,877 Okay. What about this one? 394 00:19:27,960 --> 00:19:32,840 "I value authenticity over vanity." You wrote "strongly agree." 395 00:19:33,882 --> 00:19:35,262 -Yes. -Ian, 396 00:19:35,342 --> 00:19:39,182 that shirt is so tight that I can authentically see your nipples through it. 397 00:19:40,180 --> 00:19:41,680 Why are you looking at my nipples? 398 00:19:41,765 --> 00:19:44,225 It's hard not to! You're kind of asking for it. 399 00:19:44,309 --> 00:19:46,059 That's victim-blaming. You can't blame me. 400 00:19:46,144 --> 00:19:47,524 You are a victim of nothing! 401 00:19:47,604 --> 00:19:49,234 Okay, all right. What about this one? 402 00:19:49,314 --> 00:19:51,484 "I am held back by my fears." 403 00:19:51,567 --> 00:19:53,357 You wrote "somewhat disagree." 404 00:19:54,528 --> 00:19:57,068 You wrote "strongly disagree." That's a lie. 405 00:19:57,155 --> 00:19:58,865 You have heaps of fears that hold you back. 406 00:19:58,949 --> 00:20:01,239 -Like what? -You're afraid of being vulnerable. 407 00:20:01,326 --> 00:20:04,036 Vulnerable? I am not afraid to be vulnerable. 408 00:20:04,121 --> 00:20:06,001 You're the one that's afraid to be vulnerable. 409 00:20:06,081 --> 00:20:08,381 Back me up on this, Carol. You're the negotiator. 410 00:20:10,169 --> 00:20:13,129 No, I'm not. If anything, I'm a hostage. 411 00:20:13,213 --> 00:20:15,803 But if it'll help move this process along, 412 00:20:15,883 --> 00:20:18,303 maybe you should both just admit your greatest fears 413 00:20:18,385 --> 00:20:20,675 to prove that you are not afraid to be vulnerable. 414 00:20:21,597 --> 00:20:23,717 Okay, fine. 415 00:20:23,807 --> 00:20:27,187 I fear working too hard to make this game great 416 00:20:27,269 --> 00:20:29,769 and dying of a heart attack in my prime. 417 00:20:29,855 --> 00:20:33,225 -Oh, please. -Ian, come on! 418 00:20:33,317 --> 00:20:36,277 Stop with the self-aggrandizing bullshit. 419 00:20:36,361 --> 00:20:39,701 Could you just dig deep and tell this woman your fear 420 00:20:39,781 --> 00:20:41,701 so we can get outta here? 421 00:20:50,334 --> 00:20:51,344 Okay. 422 00:20:52,377 --> 00:20:53,707 Maybe 423 00:20:54,838 --> 00:20:56,088 I'm afraid 424 00:20:57,382 --> 00:21:01,222 that MQ is my only good idea. 425 00:21:04,097 --> 00:21:07,767 And maybe I'm afraid that Poppy is the younger… 426 00:21:09,770 --> 00:21:11,360 smarter lion. 427 00:21:16,485 --> 00:21:18,695 I wasn't expecting to hear all that. 428 00:21:21,490 --> 00:21:24,120 Okay. It's your turn, Poppy. 429 00:21:26,245 --> 00:21:27,245 Singing. 430 00:21:28,455 --> 00:21:31,995 -What? -I'm afraid of singing in public. 431 00:21:33,669 --> 00:21:37,259 What the fuck is that? I just told you something honest. 432 00:21:37,339 --> 00:21:39,509 You're honest with me for the first time ever, 433 00:21:39,591 --> 00:21:40,591 and you want a reward? 434 00:21:40,676 --> 00:21:42,466 No. I'm not asking for a reward. 435 00:21:42,553 --> 00:21:44,853 I'm just asking you to be honest back. 436 00:21:44,930 --> 00:21:46,680 Well, it is what it is. 437 00:21:46,765 --> 00:21:50,225 Damn. Ian went there, and you just hung him out to dry. 438 00:21:50,310 --> 00:21:52,400 I guess that makes him the real lion here. 439 00:21:52,479 --> 00:21:55,649 Oh, my God! Who cares? 440 00:21:56,275 --> 00:21:58,395 I don't even have to do this stupid test! 441 00:21:58,485 --> 00:22:02,355 But fine. Fine. You're the only lion, Ian. 442 00:22:02,447 --> 00:22:04,657 You're in charge. Is that what you need to hear? 443 00:22:04,741 --> 00:22:08,081 You're the boss! Are you happy? Are you happy now? 444 00:22:11,790 --> 00:22:12,790 Not really. 445 00:22:26,305 --> 00:22:28,635 You know who is happy? Me! 446 00:22:28,724 --> 00:22:32,854 Because I get to go home! Yes! 447 00:22:37,065 --> 00:22:38,975 My God, I need to self-soothe. 448 00:22:39,067 --> 00:22:42,027 I'm gonna pour myself the biggest drink, honey. 449 00:22:44,072 --> 00:22:47,782 Oh, my God. Why are you still here? 450 00:22:47,868 --> 00:22:50,408 I got stuck in the basement 'cause I didn't have my key card, 451 00:22:50,495 --> 00:22:51,995 and I was trying to get back up, but-- 452 00:22:52,080 --> 00:22:54,880 -I was howling for help. -No. Nope. I'm taking the stairs. 453 00:22:54,958 --> 00:22:57,128 Hold on. Let me get-- Wait, Carol. Hold on. 454 00:22:57,211 --> 00:22:59,171 This thing's not working. Carol! 455 00:23:06,762 --> 00:23:08,602 I'd be lyin' 456 00:23:09,723 --> 00:23:13,143 if I said it wasn't a little awkward in here. 457 00:23:17,940 --> 00:23:19,570 Look, I'm sorry. 458 00:23:19,650 --> 00:23:23,450 I just-- I got a little mad when you said that I wasn't a lion. 459 00:23:28,075 --> 00:23:29,235 The truth is that 460 00:23:29,910 --> 00:23:32,450 I've been having some trouble with my expansion, and… 461 00:23:34,748 --> 00:23:36,878 I miss having you around. 462 00:23:39,753 --> 00:23:42,843 You know, you believe in me in a way 463 00:23:42,923 --> 00:23:45,133 that no one ever has, and… 464 00:23:47,636 --> 00:23:49,926 I could use some of that right now. 465 00:24:09,032 --> 00:24:10,582 I don't believe in you. 466 00:24:11,451 --> 00:24:13,911 And you will fail without me. 467 00:24:15,414 --> 00:24:17,124 And the best part of it is 468 00:24:18,667 --> 00:24:20,287 you know it too.