1
00:00:08,383 --> 00:00:09,927
Summa nura.

2
00:00:10,093 --> 00:00:11,929
Voice: Ash.

3
00:00:12,095 --> 00:00:15,516
Ash:
Ruby is in elk grove, Michigan.

4
00:00:15,682 --> 00:00:17,226
My hometown.

5
00:00:17,851 --> 00:00:20,604
- Ashley?
- Pablo, Kelly, meet my father.

6
00:00:20,771 --> 00:00:24,107
- You said your dad was dead.
- Uh, we were sort of dead to each other.

7
00:00:24,274 --> 00:00:27,170
Pablo: Ever since Ruby put that book on
my face, I've been having nightmares,

8
00:00:27,194 --> 00:00:29,112
but they happen while I'm awake.

9
00:00:29,279 --> 00:00:30,948
Where is the necronomicon?

10
00:00:31,114 --> 00:00:32,282
I'll never tell you.

11
00:00:33,700 --> 00:00:35,244
Night-night.

12
00:00:36,286 --> 00:00:37,788
My children have turned on me.

13
00:00:37,955 --> 00:00:40,290
Help me retrieve the book,
and send them back to hell.

14
00:00:41,583 --> 00:00:42,834
Let's go save the world.

15
00:00:45,212 --> 00:00:47,798
I volare j'

16
00:00:48,882 --> 00:00:51,301
j'oh, ohj'

17
00:00:52,511 --> 00:00:55,222
I cantare j“

18
00:00:56,265 --> 00:00:58,517
I whoa, oh, oh, oh I

19
00:01:00,143 --> 00:01:03,397
I let's fly way up to the clouds I

20
00:01:04,439 --> 00:01:07,192
- I away from maddening crowds... I
- whoa.

21
00:01:07,359 --> 00:01:09,695
Mm, man, looking good.

22
00:01:09,861 --> 00:01:10,862
Looking sweet.

23
00:01:13,407 --> 00:01:15,659
Jesus!

24
00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:19,538
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

25
00:01:19,705 --> 00:01:22,374
That cyborg hand of yours got
something against knocking on doors?

26
00:01:22,541 --> 00:01:24,251
Sorry, dad.
Just going up to my room.

27
00:01:24,418 --> 00:01:27,671
It looks like you found bigfoot.
Why you still here?

28
00:01:27,838 --> 00:01:30,215
Uh, we just, uh, got to take care
of some business.

29
00:01:30,382 --> 00:01:31,842
Just a couple of days,
then I'm gone.

30
00:01:32,009 --> 00:01:34,177
Oh, for Christ...
No more horseshit about demons.

31
00:01:34,344 --> 00:01:36,656
What difference does it make?
You wouldn't believe me anyway.

32
00:01:36,680 --> 00:01:38,807
Look, pop,
I know you don't want me here...

33
00:01:38,974 --> 00:01:41,744
Brock: You're the one that ran off like
a scalded dog, left me here alone.

34
00:01:41,768 --> 00:01:44,688
Yeah, news flash...
I wouldn't have, if you stood by me.

35
00:01:44,855 --> 00:01:48,358
Oh, so it's my fault because, what?
I didn't give you enough hugs?

36
00:01:48,525 --> 00:01:50,068
Sack up, sunshine.

37
00:01:50,235 --> 00:01:53,030
Now, look, I know that
I'm not the son you wanted.

38
00:01:53,196 --> 00:01:56,742
And I know that elk grove would rather
have a hero who doesn't live in a trailer,

39
00:01:56,908 --> 00:01:59,870
and doesn't have a boatload
of cold sores, but too bad!

40
00:02:00,037 --> 00:02:03,206
I am your son,
and I'm the only hero elk grove has.

41
00:02:05,709 --> 00:02:07,794
Uh, except those two.

42
00:02:09,129 --> 00:02:11,381
Uh, yeah, the jury's out on her.

43
00:02:11,548 --> 00:02:14,217
All right, here's the deal.
My lady's on her way over here.

44
00:02:14,384 --> 00:02:15,886
I'm going to be up to my elbows

45
00:02:16,053 --> 00:02:17,280
in cheesecake real soon.

46
00:02:17,304 --> 00:02:20,140
And when your "business" is done,
you know where the door is.

47
00:02:20,307 --> 00:02:21,725
Great, dad, thanks.

48
00:02:26,521 --> 00:02:29,733
Oh, and by the way,
"bigfoot" has a name.

49
00:02:29,900 --> 00:02:32,569
- It's Ruby.
- Oh, is that so, Ruby?

50
00:02:32,736 --> 00:02:35,238
Well, tell your story walking.
I'm done conversating.

51
00:02:35,405 --> 00:02:37,449
Time for some fornicating.

52
00:02:37,616 --> 00:02:39,242
Ugh.

53
00:02:51,588 --> 00:02:53,507
Woman: Ash?

54
00:02:56,218 --> 00:02:58,929
I want to get out of here!

55
00:02:59,096 --> 00:03:01,306
Help me, ash!

56
00:03:01,473 --> 00:03:03,517
Shut it off.

57
00:03:03,684 --> 00:03:05,227
Look at me!

58
00:03:10,023 --> 00:03:11,650
- You okay?
- What's that?

59
00:03:11,817 --> 00:03:15,112
Another LSD moment?
Oh, man. I told you, dude.

60
00:03:15,278 --> 00:03:18,115
Florida LSD, not to be fucked with.

61
00:03:18,281 --> 00:03:20,951
Got to trust me on this shit.

62
00:03:21,118 --> 00:03:24,621
Yeah, got to be careful.

63
00:03:34,131 --> 00:03:37,801
Oh, sweet room, jefe.

64
00:03:37,968 --> 00:03:40,804
Yep, lot of good memories in here,
and there.

65
00:03:43,265 --> 00:03:45,142
It looks like it hasn't changed in...

66
00:03:45,308 --> 00:03:47,310
30 years, that's right.

67
00:03:47,477 --> 00:03:48,797
When I left this place back then,

68
00:03:48,854 --> 00:03:51,106
I left behind everyone
and everything I ever knew.

69
00:03:52,357 --> 00:03:54,025
Poor fella.

70
00:03:54,192 --> 00:03:56,528
Guess he didn't have the heart
to carry on without me.

71
00:03:56,695 --> 00:03:58,447
Kelly: Or the food.

72
00:03:59,573 --> 00:04:01,158
Come on, guys,
we don't have much time.

73
00:04:01,324 --> 00:04:03,410
You've seen how powerful
my children have become.

74
00:04:03,577 --> 00:04:07,164
Wait... your children?
Those things came out of me.

75
00:04:07,330 --> 00:04:11,543
Oh, relax, you're not the father,
just the portal for their rebirth.

76
00:04:11,710 --> 00:04:14,713
Are you saying Pablo is a vagina?

77
00:04:14,880 --> 00:04:16,965
Ruby:
You need to take this seriously, missy.

78
00:04:17,132 --> 00:04:19,217
My spawn pose
an existential threat,

79
00:04:19,384 --> 00:04:21,178
such as the world
has never seen before.

80
00:04:21,344 --> 00:04:24,181
They're not only more powerful
and more intelligent and dangerous...

81
00:04:24,347 --> 00:04:26,308
Okay, yeah, got it.
They're big, mean, smart.

82
00:04:26,475 --> 00:04:28,578
Just tell us where they are,
we'll go spank their naked butts.

83
00:04:28,602 --> 00:04:30,520
Nope, we got to retrieve
that necronomicon

84
00:04:30,687 --> 00:04:32,047
before they get their hands on it.

85
00:04:32,147 --> 00:04:33,833
That's all we have to be
concerned about right now.

86
00:04:33,857 --> 00:04:34,858
This is easy!

87
00:04:35,025 --> 00:04:38,695
We'll be back in the sunshine state
before you can say fort ticonderoga.

88
00:04:38,862 --> 00:04:42,199
Where'd you put it?

89
00:04:56,421 --> 00:04:58,757
I dip it low I

90
00:05:23,281 --> 00:05:24,366
Iohj'

91
00:05:26,701 --> 00:05:29,246
I down harder I

92
00:05:30,288 --> 00:05:31,289
iohj'

93
00:05:31,456 --> 00:05:35,126
I down low I

94
00:06:16,167 --> 00:06:17,919
I drop this I

95
00:06:41,484 --> 00:06:43,987
The best hiding place
you could think of

96
00:06:44,154 --> 00:06:46,489
was a fucking corpse?!

97
00:06:46,656 --> 00:06:49,784
Dead flesh masks the scent of
the book from the spawn.

98
00:06:49,951 --> 00:06:52,829
So in terms of quick thinking,
not the worst idea.

99
00:06:52,996 --> 00:06:55,040
We could argue worse ideas
all daylong, believe me.

100
00:06:55,206 --> 00:06:58,168
- Time to put on our dancing shoes.
- Hold up.

101
00:06:58,335 --> 00:07:01,212
- Family meeting.
- Not you.

102
00:07:02,881 --> 00:07:05,342
I don't trust her, jefe.
She's hiding something.

103
00:07:05,508 --> 00:07:07,302
Agreed. Something's funky.

104
00:07:07,469 --> 00:07:10,013
'Cause if she's
some kind of half-demon,

105
00:07:10,180 --> 00:07:12,557
immortal badass,
why does she need us?

106
00:07:12,724 --> 00:07:15,352
Look, I would trust
a blind proctologist

107
00:07:15,518 --> 00:07:17,228
more than her,
but you know the deal.

108
00:07:17,395 --> 00:07:19,397
Unless you have a better plan?

109
00:07:19,564 --> 00:07:21,667
Leave her here with me
while you guys go get the book.

110
00:07:21,691 --> 00:07:23,526
I'll figure out
what she's not telling us.

111
00:07:23,693 --> 00:07:25,504
Kelly: Yeah, I don't think
that's such a great idea.

112
00:07:25,528 --> 00:07:26,529
Pablo: I got this.

113
00:07:26,696 --> 00:07:28,966
Trust and believe I'll carve her up
like a Halloween pumpkin

114
00:07:28,990 --> 00:07:31,701
- if she even looks at me funny.
- Damn, Pablo.

115
00:07:31,868 --> 00:07:36,039
- Badass.
- Not so much of a vagina now, am I?

116
00:07:36,206 --> 00:07:39,668
Well, actually, vaginas are powerful
and life-affirming.

117
00:07:39,834 --> 00:07:42,712
So technically, you're more of
a vagina now than you've ever been.

118
00:07:42,879 --> 00:07:45,465
She's right, buddy.
And I couldn't be prouder.

119
00:07:46,424 --> 00:07:49,177
Sorry, lady.
You're riding the pine today.

120
00:07:49,344 --> 00:07:52,430
Pablo, and his friend Mr. Kandarian
dagger, would like a word.

121
00:07:52,597 --> 00:07:55,058
- No, no, no.
- It wasn't a question.

122
00:07:55,225 --> 00:07:57,686
You want your book back,
that's how it happens.

123
00:08:00,271 --> 00:08:01,731
Fine.

124
00:08:01,898 --> 00:08:05,735
Just, uh, don't touch any of my stuff.
Except to tidy up.

125
00:08:05,902 --> 00:08:09,072
Seriously, don't let her touch
any of my stuff.

126
00:08:09,239 --> 00:08:11,116
Except to tidy up.

127
00:08:32,929 --> 00:08:35,140
Mm, must be hard coming back.

128
00:08:35,306 --> 00:08:36,975
Confronting your past

129
00:08:37,142 --> 00:08:40,562
and all your many mistakes
and bad decisions.

130
00:08:40,729 --> 00:08:44,274
Holy pickle dicks,
it's Lillian pendergrass!

131
00:08:44,441 --> 00:08:45,921
Kelly:
What's a "Lillian pendergrass"?

132
00:08:46,067 --> 00:08:49,070
That beautiful creature right there.
I'd know that caboose anywhere.

133
00:08:49,237 --> 00:08:51,906
- Are you having a stroke?
- Hey, you say that now,

134
00:08:52,073 --> 00:08:53,908
back in the day,
Lillian pendergrass

135
00:08:54,075 --> 00:08:57,412
was a smoking hot former gymnast
turned phys ed teacher.

136
00:08:57,579 --> 00:08:58,859
You know what I'm talking about?

137
00:08:58,997 --> 00:09:02,125
She wore these tiny,
little polyester shorts.

138
00:09:02,292 --> 00:09:04,794
You know during the summer,
when you find that perfect peach?

139
00:09:04,961 --> 00:09:08,298
Your next words better be "the end,"
or I will shoot us both.

140
00:09:08,465 --> 00:09:10,717
- Me first.
- I'll give you the abridged version.

141
00:09:15,346 --> 00:09:18,016
- I boned her in the back.
- Good for you.

142
00:09:18,183 --> 00:09:21,853
Ash: She's going to the house.
She must've heard that I'm back in town.

143
00:09:22,020 --> 00:09:23,813
Oh, no!

144
00:09:23,980 --> 00:09:25,774
Well, sorry, Lillian.

145
00:09:25,940 --> 00:09:29,819
Tool time's going to have to wait,
'cause dad's got a job to do...

146
00:09:29,986 --> 00:09:31,488
- Hello.
- Looking good.

147
00:09:31,654 --> 00:09:33,656
Well, it looks like

148
00:09:33,823 --> 00:09:36,451
big daddy's
working from home today.

149
00:09:36,618 --> 00:09:38,995
That son of a bitch. Not again.

150
00:09:39,162 --> 00:09:42,123
Wait, again?

151
00:09:58,306 --> 00:10:02,519
So, um, you give any thought to
how we explain what we're doing here?

152
00:10:02,685 --> 00:10:05,980
Relax, just a couple of regular people
taking a stroll in a hospital.

153
00:10:06,147 --> 00:10:08,358
Kelly: Morgue.
A hospital morgue.

154
00:10:08,525 --> 00:10:10,693
Nobody strolls through a morgue.

155
00:10:10,860 --> 00:10:12,987
We look shady as fuck.

156
00:10:13,154 --> 00:10:15,532
We get busted,
we're getting locked up.

157
00:10:15,698 --> 00:10:18,201
Okay. Nobody's gonna be
locked up, okay?

158
00:10:18,368 --> 00:10:20,870
I'm going to be like a ninja
losing his virginity...

159
00:10:21,037 --> 00:10:23,748
Quick and discreet.

160
00:10:23,915 --> 00:10:26,417
You just guard that door.
Nobody gets in.

161
00:10:49,941 --> 00:10:53,528
Okay... probably should've
asked which one.

162
00:10:56,281 --> 00:11:00,994
Okay, bodies,
who's got the book?

163
00:11:02,787 --> 00:11:05,582
Oh! What a waste.

164
00:11:05,748 --> 00:11:08,459
What a waste...

165
00:11:30,815 --> 00:11:33,484
Come on, you piece of crap.

166
00:11:52,253 --> 00:11:54,589
Fuck.

167
00:12:11,231 --> 00:12:13,483
Pablo: I need to know
what's happening to me.

168
00:12:13,650 --> 00:12:16,653
What did you do?
You make me evil, too?

169
00:12:16,819 --> 00:12:19,239
Oh, so this isn't about me at all.

170
00:12:20,865 --> 00:12:24,786
Well, it was very naughty of you
to deceive ash like that.

171
00:12:25,620 --> 00:12:29,165
- But I'm very impressed.
- Yo, just answer the question!

172
00:12:29,332 --> 00:12:32,669
I would like to, but I honestly
have no idea what you're talking about.

173
00:12:33,461 --> 00:12:36,222
You do seem upset, though, so come on,
sit down, and tell me about it.

174
00:12:36,381 --> 00:12:39,300
Yeah, I don't want to sit.
I want to talk about the book.

175
00:12:39,467 --> 00:12:41,844
All right?
It did something to me.

176
00:12:42,011 --> 00:12:44,347
It changed me, and...

177
00:12:44,514 --> 00:12:46,891
You're going to tell me
exactly how right now!

178
00:12:48,810 --> 00:12:51,688
We do not have time for this.

179
00:12:51,854 --> 00:12:55,858
So, you're going to answer
my questions right now.

180
00:13:07,954 --> 00:13:09,914
Wait a minute.

181
00:13:10,498 --> 00:13:11,874
Son of a bitch.

182
00:13:12,041 --> 00:13:15,044
Ash, look first, cut later.

183
00:13:29,517 --> 00:13:31,686
Oh, of course. There you are.

184
00:13:31,853 --> 00:13:34,022
Come on now.

185
00:13:36,941 --> 00:13:39,360
What the harryhausen?

186
00:13:39,527 --> 00:13:41,571
Definitely getting locked up.

187
00:13:53,374 --> 00:13:55,209
Faygo.

188
00:13:59,213 --> 00:14:00,840
Come on.

189
00:14:02,091 --> 00:14:04,093
Come on, motherfucker!

190
00:14:04,260 --> 00:14:05,428
Hey, you know what?

191
00:14:32,789 --> 00:14:35,625
Give me my fucking pop!

192
00:14:35,792 --> 00:14:37,627
Going to jail. Give it to me!

193
00:14:42,298 --> 00:14:44,342
Oh, hey.

194
00:14:44,509 --> 00:14:45,635
You know what?

195
00:14:45,802 --> 00:14:49,764
Great timing, because
your pop machine is on the Fritz.

196
00:14:49,931 --> 00:14:51,766
Give...

197
00:14:51,933 --> 00:14:53,518
It... back!

198
00:15:07,490 --> 00:15:09,409
Oh, no, you don't.

199
00:15:11,869 --> 00:15:14,705
Nobody hides
from Ashley j. Williams.

200
00:15:38,896 --> 00:15:41,899
This part of the hospital
is off limits.

201
00:15:42,066 --> 00:15:45,570
- Why are you here?
- I could ask you the same thing.

202
00:15:45,736 --> 00:15:48,489
There's been a lot of weird shit
happening around town lately.

203
00:15:48,656 --> 00:15:51,909
And your friend, ash,
he ain't a stranger to weird shit, is he?

204
00:15:52,076 --> 00:15:54,078
Dude, he's like the father
of weird shit.

205
00:15:54,245 --> 00:15:56,831
So, you're going to have to be
much more specific.

206
00:15:58,166 --> 00:16:00,376
Lot of unexplained deaths lately.

207
00:16:00,543 --> 00:16:03,379
And then all of a sudden,
you and that bozo roll into town.

208
00:16:03,546 --> 00:16:05,173
Wow.

209
00:16:05,339 --> 00:16:08,259
Someone's on the fast track
to detective.

210
00:16:08,426 --> 00:16:10,386
All right, smart-ass.

211
00:16:10,553 --> 00:16:13,181
You stand there and crack wise.

212
00:16:13,347 --> 00:16:15,600
We'll just see
what the coroner has to say.

213
00:16:15,766 --> 00:16:18,394
But dollars to donuts,

214
00:16:18,561 --> 00:16:22,732
ash Williams will figure in
his explanation somehow.

215
00:16:22,899 --> 00:16:24,275
Now, if you'll excuse me.

216
00:16:26,819 --> 00:16:28,779
I said, excuse me.

217
00:16:54,764 --> 00:16:57,558
Oh, no, no, no.

218
00:17:05,608 --> 00:17:07,777
Oh, no, no. Not up the butt!

219
00:17:07,944 --> 00:17:09,570
Not up the...

220
00:17:13,157 --> 00:17:15,952
Oh, god!

221
00:17:16,118 --> 00:17:18,621
Oh, god, I'm in the butt!
I'm in the butt.

222
00:17:18,788 --> 00:17:21,123
I'm in the butt!

223
00:17:23,626 --> 00:17:26,379
Get it off me!

224
00:17:29,799 --> 00:17:32,426
What are you doing?

225
00:17:33,803 --> 00:17:36,639
Don't you suck my Johnson!

226
00:17:41,477 --> 00:17:43,813
Where'd you go?

227
00:17:43,980 --> 00:17:45,940
Oh, okay. Okay!

228
00:17:46,107 --> 00:17:48,192
Get off me! Get off me!

229
00:17:49,527 --> 00:17:51,862
Get your dick off my face!

230
00:17:59,287 --> 00:18:01,330
This town is only big enough
for one asshole,

231
00:18:01,497 --> 00:18:03,749
and that asshole is me.

232
00:18:13,467 --> 00:18:16,345
"Lillian pendergrass.
Pneumonia?"

233
00:18:22,476 --> 00:18:25,062
That's not Lillian pendergrass.

234
00:18:29,442 --> 00:18:31,986
Mm, you smell like lysol wipes.

235
00:18:32,153 --> 00:18:35,865
Man on TV: You will fight,
or fall, where you stand...

236
00:18:36,032 --> 00:18:38,326
When did you say
ash would be back?

237
00:18:39,160 --> 00:18:40,870
- Uh, who?
- Ashley.

238
00:18:41,037 --> 00:18:44,040
- Your son.
- Oh, uh, who cares?

239
00:18:44,206 --> 00:18:46,959
Could be ten minutes,
could be 30 years.

240
00:18:48,002 --> 00:18:50,379
- Doubt if I'd be that lucky twice.
- Hmm.

241
00:18:50,546 --> 00:18:53,841
Why the interest anyway?
Surprised you even remember him.

242
00:18:54,008 --> 00:18:56,052
He's a tough one to forget.

243
00:18:56,218 --> 00:18:59,305
Ah, well, he's not going to
stop me from trying.

244
00:18:59,930 --> 00:19:03,267
Man on TV: A single Roman
lacks courage enough to face me!

245
00:19:07,647 --> 00:19:10,274
Ruby: Tell me what's been
happening to you.

246
00:19:11,275 --> 00:19:13,903
Come on, you're the one
who was crying for answers.

247
00:19:14,070 --> 00:19:15,946
I-I wasn't crying.

248
00:19:16,947 --> 00:19:20,534
You see, the book has never
attached itself to a human before.

249
00:19:22,078 --> 00:19:26,123
Is it possible that it left
some kind of an imprint?

250
00:19:26,290 --> 00:19:28,918
Some terrible knowledge?

251
00:19:29,085 --> 00:19:31,379
Are you having nightmares?

252
00:19:31,545 --> 00:19:32,922
Premonitions, or...

253
00:19:33,089 --> 00:19:35,257
Oh, premonitions.

254
00:19:35,424 --> 00:19:38,302
Good.
That's what we need to know.

255
00:19:41,722 --> 00:19:43,391
I ain't telling you shit, lady.

256
00:19:48,437 --> 00:19:51,440
- Kelly.
- Down here.

257
00:19:51,607 --> 00:19:55,152
- We got to get out of here right now!
- Oh, shit!

258
00:19:55,319 --> 00:19:57,238
What happened in there?

259
00:19:57,405 --> 00:20:00,074
Oh, uh, let's go with colonoscopy?

260
00:20:00,241 --> 00:20:02,993
- What the hell happened here?
- He was abusing his power.

261
00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:05,496
- I informed him of my rights.
- With a sledgehammer?

262
00:20:05,663 --> 00:20:07,498
Not my fault he got a glass jaw.

263
00:20:08,999 --> 00:20:10,626
Wow, he's really out.

264
00:20:10,793 --> 00:20:13,421
Soon as this asshole wakes up,
this asshole's going to jail.

265
00:20:13,587 --> 00:20:17,842
Number one... never say "ass" or "hole"
in my presence ever again.

266
00:20:18,008 --> 00:20:19,135
- Got it?
- Got it.

267
00:20:19,301 --> 00:20:20,636
- Ever!
- Okay.

268
00:20:20,803 --> 00:20:22,763
Number two...
No one's going to jail.

269
00:20:22,930 --> 00:20:24,098
Witness.

270
00:20:25,599 --> 00:20:27,309
See that?

271
00:20:27,476 --> 00:20:29,196
Back in school,
when we used to beat him up,

272
00:20:29,270 --> 00:20:31,772
he would whiz himself,
but he never told the teachers.

273
00:20:31,939 --> 00:20:33,482
- Why?
- Because he pissed himself.

274
00:20:33,649 --> 00:20:35,651
Bingo.
So we could just keep doing it.

275
00:20:35,818 --> 00:20:38,487
That is horrible,
and also awesome.

276
00:20:38,654 --> 00:20:40,114
Which is everything that I do.

277
00:20:40,281 --> 00:20:42,825
Oh, newsflash,
we got to get home and save Pablo.

278
00:20:42,992 --> 00:20:44,326
Lillian is a deadite.

279
00:20:44,493 --> 00:20:46,996
Did you hear that?

280
00:20:47,163 --> 00:20:49,165
From upstairs.

281
00:20:49,331 --> 00:20:51,333
Oh, it's probably Ashley.

282
00:20:51,500 --> 00:20:54,879
Must've snuck in the back door
like some cowardly dog.

283
00:20:55,045 --> 00:20:58,299
Why don't you forget about Ashley
and slide on over here

284
00:20:58,466 --> 00:21:00,342
and give old Brock
some splenda, huh?

285
00:21:00,509 --> 00:21:03,387
Oh, I like the sound of that, daddy.

286
00:21:03,554 --> 00:21:05,347
You get your fine self ready

287
00:21:05,514 --> 00:21:07,975
while I freshen up
in the little girls' room.

288
00:21:08,142 --> 00:21:10,603
I was born ready, turtle dove.
You just hurry back.

289
00:21:10,770 --> 00:21:11,930
You'll know where to find me.

290
00:21:20,070 --> 00:21:22,030
What about your dad?

291
00:21:23,616 --> 00:21:25,456
You only said we had to get back
to save Pablo.

292
00:21:25,534 --> 00:21:27,703
What about your dad?

293
00:21:27,870 --> 00:21:30,414
Kelly, in war, there's always
gonna be collateral damage.

294
00:21:30,581 --> 00:21:32,750
How can you say that, ash?

295
00:21:32,917 --> 00:21:35,544
I mean, I know you two
don't get along, but he's family.

296
00:21:35,711 --> 00:21:37,171
He's your father.

297
00:21:37,338 --> 00:21:39,590
And he won't be around forever.

298
00:21:39,757 --> 00:21:41,884
Are you kidding me?
That old buzzard?

299
00:21:42,051 --> 00:21:43,451
That guy's going to outlive us all.

300
00:21:43,511 --> 00:21:45,721
That's just another way
the man upstairs

301
00:21:45,888 --> 00:21:47,431
chooses to shtup me in the pooper.

302
00:21:55,147 --> 00:21:56,524
- Stop!
- Whoa, fuck!

303
00:21:56,690 --> 00:21:57,770
- Whoa!
- The fuck asshole?!

304
00:21:57,858 --> 00:22:01,070
Hey, don't give me that look, punk.
Roads are for cars.

305
00:22:01,237 --> 00:22:02,923
Fuck you!
You need to watch where you're going!

306
00:22:02,947 --> 00:22:05,950
And you need to wait until your balls drop
before you talk to me, son.

307
00:22:06,116 --> 00:22:07,117
Yeah?

308
00:22:07,284 --> 00:22:09,078
Well, your piece-of—shit car...

309
00:22:09,245 --> 00:22:11,080
Smells like a piece of shit!

310
00:22:11,247 --> 00:22:12,367
Ash: Oh, yeah?

311
00:22:12,414 --> 00:22:14,625
Well, my piece-of—shit car
isn't the cause of this shit.

312
00:22:14,792 --> 00:22:16,919
It's all me, baby! Beat it!

313
00:22:17,086 --> 00:22:19,213
- Hey, whoa, whoa!
- Yeah, sit and spin!

314
00:22:19,380 --> 00:22:22,007
- Fuck you!
- Enjoy puberty!

315
00:22:23,425 --> 00:22:25,111
- Fucking douche bag!
- Ash: Guess we told them, huh.

316
00:22:25,135 --> 00:22:26,178
Come on, Tyler.

317
00:22:28,681 --> 00:22:29,974
What the f... hey.

318
00:22:30,140 --> 00:22:32,142
What? Oh, shit! What?

319
00:22:32,309 --> 00:22:34,603
No! No!

320
00:22:34,770 --> 00:22:36,772
Please! Please!
What are you doing to me?!

321
00:22:36,939 --> 00:22:38,399
Please stop! No!

322
00:22:39,733 --> 00:22:43,320
What a disappointment
you've turned out to be.

323
00:22:43,487 --> 00:22:45,906
You really don't know
what's going on, do you?

324
00:22:47,324 --> 00:22:50,119
No! I'm sorry, I-I don't know!

325
00:22:50,286 --> 00:22:53,622
- Precognition, Pablo.
- No!

326
00:22:53,789 --> 00:22:56,417
Ruby: Psychic ability
to see events in the future.

327
00:22:56,584 --> 00:22:58,794
Do you understand?
You're having a premonition.

328
00:22:58,961 --> 00:23:01,046
Just please cut me down! Please!

329
00:23:02,298 --> 00:23:03,757
Cut you?

330
00:23:03,924 --> 00:23:05,551
As you wish.

331
00:23:13,601 --> 00:23:16,312
Go away!

332
00:23:16,478 --> 00:23:20,357
- Pablo.
- Lillian: Ashley, is that you, dear?

333
00:23:20,524 --> 00:23:22,818
It happened again, didn't it?

334
00:23:22,985 --> 00:23:24,254
Tell me what you saw!

335
00:23:24,278 --> 00:23:25,838
- Lillian: Ashley?!
- Stay away from me!

336
00:23:25,946 --> 00:23:28,306
- Calm down and listen to me.
- Pablo: You tried to kill me!

337
00:23:30,117 --> 00:23:33,621
Well, look who it is!

338
00:23:33,787 --> 00:23:35,164
The traitor!

339
00:23:35,331 --> 00:23:38,250
Makes sense you'd be with ash now.

340
00:24:20,334 --> 00:24:21,585
Ooh, Pablo!

341
00:24:26,173 --> 00:24:30,177
Okay, what did I tell you about
not touching any of my stuff?

342
00:24:31,387 --> 00:24:32,429
Except to tidy up.

343
00:24:36,266 --> 00:24:38,352
You ready to tell me
what you saw now?

344
00:24:38,519 --> 00:24:40,729
You... you tried to kill me.

345
00:24:40,896 --> 00:24:42,940
You-you slit my throat
with some sort of a...

346
00:24:43,107 --> 00:24:45,234
- Plink.
- Fingernail?

347
00:24:45,401 --> 00:24:47,778
Mm-hmm.

348
00:24:47,945 --> 00:24:49,780
- Baal.
- Both: Huh?

349
00:24:49,947 --> 00:24:53,200
Pablo's visions... I know why my children
are after the necronomicon now.

350
00:24:53,367 --> 00:24:55,577
They aim to raise up their father.

351
00:24:55,744 --> 00:24:57,538
But I don't see the book.

352
00:24:57,705 --> 00:25:00,666
Where is it?
Where's the necronomicon...

353
00:25:01,542 --> 00:25:03,585
- You failed.
- Ash: Let me tell you something.

354
00:25:03,752 --> 00:25:06,255
Ash Williams doesn't know
the meaning of a lot of words.

355
00:25:06,422 --> 00:25:08,222
But I really don't know
the meaning of "fail."

356
00:25:08,257 --> 00:25:10,235
- So where is it?
- I wasn't going to bring it in here

357
00:25:10,259 --> 00:25:11,260
with some deadite.

358
00:25:11,427 --> 00:25:13,762
It's locked up in the delta,
safe and sound.

359
00:25:19,643 --> 00:25:22,146
Jefe, it's the delta!

360
00:25:22,312 --> 00:25:23,772
Lillian?

361
00:25:23,939 --> 00:25:26,942
Took so long,
I had to start without you.

362
00:25:27,109 --> 00:25:29,486
Thought I told you to stay upstairs.

363
00:25:29,653 --> 00:25:31,572
Where in the hell is Lillian?

364
00:25:31,739 --> 00:25:34,158
- Hey!
- See ya!

365
00:25:35,451 --> 00:25:37,786
Fuck you, ashy slashy!

366
00:25:41,623 --> 00:25:44,710
Yup, right up the pooper.

367
00:26:43,352 --> 00:26:47,356
Created by: A. Vandelay
post haste digital