1 00:00:02,752 --> 00:00:04,670 No way is this based on a true story. 2 00:00:04,962 --> 00:00:06,547 It's a future true story. 3 00:00:06,839 --> 00:00:08,591 A zombie apocalypse is going to happen. 4 00:00:08,883 --> 00:00:10,801 Why do you think I live the way I do? 5 00:00:11,093 --> 00:00:13,012 Lack of ambition, no self-respect. 6 00:00:13,304 --> 00:00:16,182 Credit score in the ones. No, guys, zombies. 7 00:00:16,474 --> 00:00:18,100 Studies show only one would survive. 8 00:00:18,392 --> 00:00:21,562 The question is, which one? Depends on survival strategy. 9 00:00:21,854 --> 00:00:23,231 Are we talking strength to fight 10 00:00:23,523 --> 00:00:25,566 or ability to blend in and live amongst them? 11 00:00:25,858 --> 00:00:27,568 Amongst? We doing amongst now? Mm-hm. 12 00:00:27,860 --> 00:00:30,488 Can we focus up here? This is life and death. 13 00:00:30,780 --> 00:00:33,199 If we're gonna do ability to blend in, I say Dave. 14 00:00:33,491 --> 00:00:35,326 - He's basically a zombie. - What? 15 00:00:35,618 --> 00:00:38,037 I've seen your daily routine. Wake up at 7:00, shower, 16 00:00:38,329 --> 00:00:41,749 eat the same fiber-based cereal geared towards menopausal women. 17 00:00:42,041 --> 00:00:43,751 Her Choice Crunch is for everyone. 18 00:00:44,043 --> 00:00:45,086 Eh... And, like a zombie, 19 00:00:45,378 --> 00:00:46,671 you don't have hopes or dreams. 20 00:00:46,963 --> 00:00:48,506 I have dreams. Really? 21 00:00:48,798 --> 00:00:51,008 I am still working on opening my own restaurant. 22 00:00:51,300 --> 00:00:53,135 You were mentioning that six years ago. 23 00:00:53,427 --> 00:00:56,138 I made these steak sandwiches for us tonight, 24 00:00:56,430 --> 00:00:58,808 despite the fact that Max's oven only goes up to 150. 25 00:00:59,100 --> 00:01:01,310 I can tell who would die first in a zombie attack. 26 00:01:01,602 --> 00:01:03,604 It's obviously Max. Heh. 27 00:01:08,067 --> 00:01:11,487 I did that double-spit take to illustrate how insane you sound. 28 00:01:11,779 --> 00:01:13,614 Sorry, Brad, but Jane would die first. 29 00:01:13,906 --> 00:01:15,116 Me? Oh, yeah. 30 00:01:15,408 --> 00:01:17,368 You are out of shape, no marketable talents, 31 00:01:17,660 --> 00:01:20,246 and no survival skills. Counterpoint: There are things 32 00:01:20,538 --> 00:01:22,206 that you love. That slows people down. 33 00:01:22,498 --> 00:01:25,668 My cold, black heart and living without attachments, 34 00:01:25,960 --> 00:01:27,128 that's my greatest asset. 35 00:01:27,420 --> 00:01:29,463 Don't do this. She is seriously competitive. 36 00:01:29,755 --> 00:01:31,299 With that 59th hot dog, 37 00:01:31,591 --> 00:01:33,551 Kobayashi is now the best eater in the world. 38 00:01:33,843 --> 00:01:37,138 I need 60 hot dogs and an egg timer. 39 00:01:37,430 --> 00:01:39,849 Let the zombie Olympics begin, crazy hot-dog lady. 40 00:01:40,141 --> 00:01:42,893 Bring it on. On your mark, get set, go. 41 00:01:43,185 --> 00:01:44,437 Make it work, baby. 42 00:01:44,729 --> 00:01:46,230 Get him, baby. I'm a zombie? 43 00:01:46,522 --> 00:01:47,815 You could shake things up a bit. 44 00:01:48,107 --> 00:01:50,192 I know selling meat isn't a dream job, 45 00:01:50,484 --> 00:01:53,112 but I make good money. It's restaurant adjacent, 46 00:01:53,404 --> 00:01:55,906 and I just got comfortable taking deuces there. 47 00:01:56,198 --> 00:01:59,118 The bright side, zombies are super in right now. 48 00:01:59,410 --> 00:02:01,871 No, I'd rather be a vampire. Ha, ha. 49 00:02:02,163 --> 00:02:03,956 We'd all rather be vampires, bro. 50 00:02:07,835 --> 00:02:10,379 Crushed it! Now Max's face is being eaten by zombies. 51 00:02:10,671 --> 00:02:12,965 This is not over between us. Bring it. 52 00:02:13,257 --> 00:02:15,259 Okay, I own you, all right? I am in your head, 53 00:02:15,551 --> 00:02:17,845 and I got a three-bedroom condo with a marble island 54 00:02:18,137 --> 00:02:19,138 and a pizza oven and a wine fridge. 55 00:02:20,181 --> 00:02:23,100 We got it. That's my dream kitchen. 56 00:02:23,392 --> 00:02:26,312 You guys just go, okay? 57 00:02:26,604 --> 00:02:28,105 I'm about to hit my runner's high. 58 00:02:28,397 --> 00:02:30,983 We're going out tonight. We're gonna do it big. 59 00:02:42,536 --> 00:02:45,873 My laundry day outfit is not meant for public eyes. 60 00:02:46,165 --> 00:02:49,043 It's all right. Everyone here's a weirdo. 61 00:02:49,335 --> 00:02:52,380 What? Not you. Heh. 62 00:02:52,672 --> 00:02:56,842 Oh, you know what? I gotta get some quarters. 63 00:02:57,134 --> 00:02:59,970 Nice outfit. Hi. You, too. 64 00:03:00,262 --> 00:03:02,264 Come here often? When my clothes are dirty. 65 00:03:02,556 --> 00:03:04,016 We have that in common. 66 00:03:05,601 --> 00:03:07,019 I'm Toby. Penny. 67 00:03:07,311 --> 00:03:09,021 These dryers take forever. 68 00:03:09,313 --> 00:03:11,023 You wanna go next door, get coffee? 69 00:03:11,315 --> 00:03:13,192 - Oh, um... - Yes. 70 00:03:13,484 --> 00:03:15,277 Sure. 71 00:03:15,569 --> 00:03:17,321 Yeah. Heh. Okay. 72 00:03:28,708 --> 00:03:30,626 Make sure you fax the branch. 73 00:03:30,918 --> 00:03:32,878 Did you see the third quarter, Brian? 74 00:03:39,510 --> 00:03:42,138 The top sirloin's $10 a pound, 75 00:03:42,430 --> 00:03:44,557 it's flash-frozen to retain all the nutrients. 76 00:03:44,849 --> 00:03:47,852 Thank you for calling TransCorps, have a great day. 77 00:03:48,144 --> 00:03:50,187 I spend so much time trying to look good, 78 00:03:50,479 --> 00:03:52,440 and then I wear my grungiest outfit 79 00:03:52,732 --> 00:03:53,899 and a cute guy is into me. 80 00:03:54,191 --> 00:03:55,860 I should hang out in laundromats more. 81 00:03:56,152 --> 00:03:58,195 I'll have to put up with abandoned underpants, 82 00:03:58,487 --> 00:03:59,864 but once in a while, cute guy. 83 00:04:00,156 --> 00:04:01,657 Too good for free underpants. 84 00:04:01,949 --> 00:04:04,076 I cannot wait for you guys to meet Toby. 85 00:04:04,368 --> 00:04:06,412 Oh, my God, we are into the same things: 86 00:04:06,704 --> 00:04:09,123 Home Shopping Network, baby animals on the internet. 87 00:04:09,415 --> 00:04:11,041 He thinks it's cool I needlepoint. 88 00:04:11,333 --> 00:04:12,668 You're dating my grandma. 89 00:04:12,960 --> 00:04:16,756 Just got a text from Jane. 90 00:04:17,047 --> 00:04:19,467 She's building an addition on the condo in my brain. 91 00:04:19,759 --> 00:04:22,928 Not okay. Not during a recession. 92 00:04:23,220 --> 00:04:26,098 Toby's here. Why's he dressed like that? 93 00:04:26,390 --> 00:04:29,435 Oh, my God, you know what he is, right? 94 00:04:29,727 --> 00:04:31,103 He's a hipster. Oh, no. 95 00:04:31,395 --> 00:04:33,773 The skinny jeans, the scarf. 96 00:04:34,064 --> 00:04:36,692 A hipster. Those things you like, he likes ironically. 97 00:04:36,984 --> 00:04:38,235 You don't know that. I do. 98 00:04:38,527 --> 00:04:40,488 I can smell him. He smells like a flea market. 99 00:04:40,780 --> 00:04:43,824 Watch your mouth. Oh, hey. Ready to go? 100 00:04:44,116 --> 00:04:47,745 I just heard about this awesome underground mix tape swap. 101 00:04:48,037 --> 00:04:49,413 Max is right. 102 00:04:49,705 --> 00:04:51,665 That bike lock, is that also your belt? 103 00:04:51,957 --> 00:04:54,168 Oh, I know, right? Yeah. 104 00:04:54,460 --> 00:04:58,631 - Uh, what's with the get-up? - Oh. 105 00:04:58,923 --> 00:05:01,383 It's, uh... It's Penny's laundry day. 106 00:05:01,675 --> 00:05:03,302 Heh. 107 00:05:03,594 --> 00:05:04,929 You must love doing laundry. 108 00:05:05,221 --> 00:05:07,389 I really attract stains, you know? 109 00:05:07,681 --> 00:05:08,641 All over. Ha, ha. 110 00:05:08,933 --> 00:05:10,893 Let's head out. All right. 111 00:05:11,185 --> 00:05:14,438 See you. Nice to meet you. The pleasure is ours. 112 00:05:14,730 --> 00:05:16,357 Take it easy. 113 00:05:19,151 --> 00:05:21,237 You guys were right, I'm a zombie. 114 00:05:21,529 --> 00:05:22,738 In my job, with Alex. 115 00:05:23,030 --> 00:05:24,907 She did literally run away at the wedding. 116 00:05:25,199 --> 00:05:27,368 Should've ate her brains when you had the chance. 117 00:05:27,660 --> 00:05:30,830 That's it. I'm done. I'm making serious changes. 118 00:05:31,121 --> 00:05:33,082 Okay, yeah. Yeah. I'm 29. 119 00:05:33,374 --> 00:05:35,543 I'm not going into my 30s in the same place I am now. 120 00:05:35,835 --> 00:05:37,169 Uh-uh, no, you didn't. 121 00:05:37,461 --> 00:05:39,672 Which is why I'm quitting my job 122 00:05:39,964 --> 00:05:41,423 and I'm opening my own restaurant. 123 00:05:41,715 --> 00:05:43,926 Really, what? 124 00:05:44,218 --> 00:05:46,095 Come again? Who'll pay the rent? 125 00:05:48,597 --> 00:05:51,100 Dave quit his job? Don't worry, not yet. 126 00:05:51,392 --> 00:05:53,394 But he's going to. That's not like Dave. 127 00:05:53,686 --> 00:05:55,437 Someone tell him that's a horrible idea. 128 00:05:55,729 --> 00:05:58,065 He has tons of debt and the economy sucks. 129 00:05:58,357 --> 00:06:00,609 How can you tell a man not to follow his dream? 130 00:06:00,901 --> 00:06:02,486 I know another man that had a dream. 131 00:06:02,778 --> 00:06:05,781 Fievel, in An American Tail. You gonna tell Fievel 132 00:06:06,073 --> 00:06:08,242 he can't go west? You just switched movies. 133 00:06:08,534 --> 00:06:11,287 It's about a dream. And we are not dream-crushers, 134 00:06:11,579 --> 00:06:14,039 like some blonde ladies. What are you doing? 135 00:06:14,331 --> 00:06:16,333 I'm thumb-pointing. I can see it. 136 00:06:16,625 --> 00:06:18,627 Great news, I found my inspiration basket. 137 00:06:18,919 --> 00:06:21,213 What's more upsetting, you have one or call it that? 138 00:06:21,505 --> 00:06:24,216 It's got my restaurant ideas and menus I've collected. 139 00:06:24,508 --> 00:06:27,636 To-do list. "Get haircut." 140 00:06:27,928 --> 00:06:30,389 Maybe I will, 2007 Dave. Maybe I will. 141 00:06:30,681 --> 00:06:32,808 Anything you guys wanna say? Nope. 142 00:06:33,100 --> 00:06:36,645 Good luck with that haircut. Thanks. 143 00:06:36,937 --> 00:06:39,356 I'll talk sense into him, and he'll get it, all right? 144 00:06:39,648 --> 00:06:41,483 Dave and I have been friends forever. 145 00:06:41,775 --> 00:06:43,569 We're on the same bravelength. 146 00:06:43,861 --> 00:06:46,989 Bravelength. A "Brad" and "Dave" wavelength. 147 00:06:47,281 --> 00:06:49,742 Oh. Yeah. 148 00:06:50,034 --> 00:06:52,077 Don't act like you didn't have to explain that, 149 00:06:52,369 --> 00:06:54,204 because that made no sense at all. 150 00:06:54,496 --> 00:06:57,791 Two words to describe my date with Toby, re-dick. 151 00:06:58,083 --> 00:06:59,919 He took me to this secret Foursquare party 152 00:07:00,210 --> 00:07:03,047 and there was a band made up entirely of Speak and Spells. 153 00:07:03,339 --> 00:07:04,882 And that was fun? 154 00:07:05,174 --> 00:07:06,800 I think so. 155 00:07:07,092 --> 00:07:08,802 Are you sure? You're doing that thing 156 00:07:09,094 --> 00:07:10,638 where you take on characteristics 157 00:07:10,930 --> 00:07:13,015 of the guy you're dating. I don't do that. 158 00:07:17,019 --> 00:07:19,021 Hi! Hey. 159 00:07:19,313 --> 00:07:21,774 Love makes us do crazy things. 160 00:07:22,066 --> 00:07:25,235 Does it? Max, I really like him, okay? 161 00:07:25,527 --> 00:07:27,988 Just tell me what to do so I don't embarrass myself. 162 00:07:28,280 --> 00:07:30,157 Okay. You've gotta do everything I say. 163 00:07:30,449 --> 00:07:32,743 Follow every direction without asking a question. 164 00:07:37,623 --> 00:07:39,541 Hipster rule number one, never try. 165 00:07:39,833 --> 00:07:42,252 - Never put effort into anything. - Got it. 166 00:07:42,544 --> 00:07:44,588 - Like a flight attendant. - That's right. 167 00:07:44,880 --> 00:07:47,383 Put jeans under that skirt and sweats over those jeans. 168 00:07:47,675 --> 00:07:50,260 Hipster rule number two, only like things ironically: 169 00:07:50,552 --> 00:07:55,057 Books, movies, TV shows, the environment. 170 00:07:55,349 --> 00:07:59,019 Look at that. You're playing ping pong against Jude Law. 171 00:07:59,311 --> 00:08:00,312 Ah! 172 00:08:00,604 --> 00:08:02,398 You're brewing coffee for Glenn Close. 173 00:08:02,690 --> 00:08:05,484 Guys, I sell clothes here, nice clothes. 174 00:08:05,776 --> 00:08:07,653 Alex, adults are speaking here. 175 00:08:07,945 --> 00:08:10,990 Hipster rule number three: never show too much enthusiasm. 176 00:08:11,281 --> 00:08:12,658 I can do that. Can you? 177 00:08:15,828 --> 00:08:18,664 Don't dance. She can dance. Look how much fun that is. 178 00:08:18,956 --> 00:08:21,750 Don't feel it. Look how much fun that is. 179 00:08:22,042 --> 00:08:23,293 Look at much fun we're having. 180 00:08:23,585 --> 00:08:26,338 Too much fun. Too much fun. Don't dance. 181 00:08:26,630 --> 00:08:29,591 Good. Final rule: Everything is dumb. 182 00:08:29,883 --> 00:08:31,969 Someone says something you don't understand, 183 00:08:32,261 --> 00:08:34,888 you just go, "I'm over it." FroYo, over it. 184 00:08:35,180 --> 00:08:38,517 Other stuff, over it. Great. Just missing one thing. 185 00:08:40,936 --> 00:08:43,355 Oh, perfect. 186 00:08:43,647 --> 00:08:46,066 Go, my little weirdo. 187 00:08:46,358 --> 00:08:48,235 Uh, careful, though. Watch your way. 188 00:08:48,527 --> 00:08:49,987 Be careful. Those are prescript. 189 00:08:50,279 --> 00:08:52,156 I'll pay for that. 190 00:08:52,448 --> 00:08:55,117 Next zombie challenge, bring it or bling it. 191 00:08:55,409 --> 00:08:57,036 Not a real phrase. 192 00:08:57,327 --> 00:09:00,080 Zombies sense motion, so what we're gonna do is... 193 00:09:00,372 --> 00:09:02,833 the person who sits still longest wins. That will be me, 194 00:09:03,125 --> 00:09:05,377 because you are a type A nutjob who can't sit still. 195 00:09:05,669 --> 00:09:09,006 Please. It is on like Donkeytron. 196 00:09:09,298 --> 00:09:10,758 You're trying to sound confident, 197 00:09:11,050 --> 00:09:14,344 but you sound like a divorcee talking to their stepson. 198 00:09:14,636 --> 00:09:17,389 The game will begin in three, 199 00:09:17,681 --> 00:09:20,059 two, one. 200 00:09:23,187 --> 00:09:25,314 You wanna clean up that beer so bad. 201 00:09:25,606 --> 00:09:27,149 Uh-uh. Clean up the beer. 202 00:09:27,441 --> 00:09:30,652 Mm, look at it spilling all over the ground, 203 00:09:30,944 --> 00:09:33,572 making a huge mess. 204 00:09:33,864 --> 00:09:34,990 You gotta clean up the beer. 205 00:09:35,282 --> 00:09:37,910 It is not just messy, it is unsafe. 206 00:09:38,202 --> 00:09:39,620 The zombies have taken you down, 207 00:09:39,912 --> 00:09:43,165 and I am using your body as a sleeping bag, tauntaun style. 208 00:09:43,457 --> 00:09:45,793 By the way, I have no idea whose boxers those are. 209 00:09:46,085 --> 00:09:47,711 Okay. Oh, I do. 210 00:09:48,003 --> 00:09:50,130 They're Gary, the Polish neighbor's. 211 00:09:50,422 --> 00:09:52,091 He came over and cooked pierogies. 212 00:09:52,382 --> 00:09:53,383 Ew. 213 00:09:55,302 --> 00:09:57,137 You ran into that guy really hard. 214 00:09:57,429 --> 00:09:59,389 I pretty convincingly turned it into a hug. 215 00:09:59,681 --> 00:10:02,851 Meet my friends lone and Atticus. 216 00:10:03,143 --> 00:10:05,229 Hey. She has a blog about zines 217 00:10:05,521 --> 00:10:07,898 and he won the mustache contest three years in a row. 218 00:10:08,190 --> 00:10:10,567 Pfft, like I care. 219 00:10:10,859 --> 00:10:12,277 See that guy? He's right-handed, 220 00:10:12,569 --> 00:10:14,780 but he refuses to play with his dominant hand. 221 00:10:15,072 --> 00:10:17,116 Oh. It's too commercial. 222 00:10:17,407 --> 00:10:20,119 He's huge on the abandoned gas station circuit. 223 00:10:20,410 --> 00:10:21,703 What do you think? 224 00:10:21,995 --> 00:10:25,958 Oh... over it. 225 00:10:26,250 --> 00:10:27,668 Totally. Yeah. 226 00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:29,002 Yeah, I'm super over it. 227 00:10:29,294 --> 00:10:32,089 Why are we even here? I don't know. 228 00:10:32,381 --> 00:10:35,175 First of all, welcome. I'd like to introduce you 229 00:10:35,467 --> 00:10:38,720 to Chicago's revolutionary new dining experience. 230 00:10:39,012 --> 00:10:41,723 So many cuisines from around the world, 231 00:10:42,015 --> 00:10:45,102 how do you choose just one? 232 00:10:45,394 --> 00:10:46,520 You're married, right, sir? 233 00:10:46,812 --> 00:10:48,147 Yeah, to Jane. You know that. 234 00:10:48,438 --> 00:10:49,857 Let's say you're going to dinner. 235 00:10:50,149 --> 00:10:51,650 You want Mexican, she wants Japanese. What do you do? 236 00:10:52,693 --> 00:10:54,778 We get Japanese. Exactly. 237 00:10:55,070 --> 00:10:57,281 There's no way to decide. That's why I give you... 238 00:10:59,533 --> 00:11:02,077 Pangaea Grill. 239 00:11:02,369 --> 00:11:08,709 Nine hundred dishes from 125 ethnic cuisines, 240 00:11:09,001 --> 00:11:10,794 all on one menu, baby. 241 00:11:11,086 --> 00:11:13,881 Oh, all right. Ha, ha, ha. Seems like a lot. 242 00:11:14,173 --> 00:11:16,842 Did you spend $17,000 at the copy store? 243 00:11:17,134 --> 00:11:18,969 And I know this is gonna take capital. 244 00:11:19,261 --> 00:11:22,764 That's why tomorrow I am meeting with a restaurant investor. 245 00:11:23,056 --> 00:11:25,267 This is it, guys! Let's celebrate. 246 00:11:25,559 --> 00:11:27,352 Pangaea Grill. Champ, coming. 247 00:11:27,644 --> 00:11:29,938 What the hell? I thought you talked to Dave? 248 00:11:30,230 --> 00:11:31,690 I gotta say, ever since I decided 249 00:11:31,982 --> 00:11:33,734 to pursue this dream again, I'm so happy. 250 00:11:34,026 --> 00:11:35,736 I mean, I went to a dark place, man, 251 00:11:36,028 --> 00:11:39,239 like applying-to-grad-school dark. 252 00:11:39,531 --> 00:11:41,867 I'm sorry, what did you wanna talk about? 253 00:11:42,159 --> 00:11:45,037 Uh, Hillary Clinton. I voted for her. 254 00:11:45,329 --> 00:11:47,748 I never told anybody. Feels good to get it off my chest. 255 00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:51,251 A glitch in the bravelength. Someone needs to talk to him. 256 00:11:51,543 --> 00:11:54,504 Yes, before he starts feeding Chicago Inuit blubber tacos. 257 00:11:54,796 --> 00:11:57,466 It can't be me. I've crushed his entire personal life. 258 00:11:57,758 --> 00:11:59,468 I cannot blow up his professional life. 259 00:11:59,760 --> 00:12:01,220 I'm not at a point in my life 260 00:12:01,511 --> 00:12:04,056 where I can be taken seriously. Somebody talk to him. 261 00:12:04,348 --> 00:12:05,349 This is absolutely... 262 00:12:05,641 --> 00:12:06,725 Dave! Dave. 263 00:12:07,017 --> 00:12:09,561 - Al, can you help me? - Yeah, sure. 264 00:12:09,853 --> 00:12:11,730 Guys, I wanna thank you for your support. 265 00:12:12,022 --> 00:12:14,441 I couldn't do this without you. 266 00:12:14,733 --> 00:12:16,193 Thank you for believing in me, 267 00:12:16,485 --> 00:12:19,071 or as they say in Burmese: 268 00:12:19,363 --> 00:12:21,531 Kyeizu tin ba de. 269 00:12:21,823 --> 00:12:24,409 All right, champagne for my real friends, 270 00:12:24,701 --> 00:12:27,496 real pain for my sham friends. 271 00:12:27,788 --> 00:12:29,248 To Pangaea. To Pangaea. 272 00:12:29,539 --> 00:12:30,666 To Pangaea. To Pangaea. 273 00:12:30,958 --> 00:12:32,876 Pangaea. 274 00:12:37,631 --> 00:12:39,925 How's that condo you're building in my brain now? 275 00:12:40,217 --> 00:12:42,719 What? You built it too quick and the economy collapsed? 276 00:12:43,011 --> 00:12:45,138 You're on the street doing hand stuff for food... 277 00:12:45,430 --> 00:12:47,057 Ugh! How did we tie? 278 00:12:47,349 --> 00:12:51,937 Two-two again? Okay, okay, there is one category left 279 00:12:52,229 --> 00:12:55,148 in the zombieathlon: ruthlessness. 280 00:12:55,440 --> 00:12:57,317 I haven't figured out how to measure that. 281 00:12:57,609 --> 00:12:59,987 Oh, mug a baby. No. 282 00:13:00,279 --> 00:13:01,697 But you're in the right area. 283 00:13:01,989 --> 00:13:04,574 You wanna come to a super-fun party on Friday night 284 00:13:04,866 --> 00:13:06,451 with Toby and all his friends? 285 00:13:06,743 --> 00:13:08,620 No way. It's gonna be totally normal. 286 00:13:08,912 --> 00:13:10,497 No, it's not. Fine. 287 00:13:10,789 --> 00:13:12,666 It's a Long island '90s bat mitzvah theme. 288 00:13:12,958 --> 00:13:15,168 Oh, hipsters. 289 00:13:15,460 --> 00:13:17,462 Aren't you getting tired of this? 290 00:13:17,754 --> 00:13:20,299 I mean, the clothes, the antique yo-yos, 291 00:13:20,590 --> 00:13:21,800 you've been making lanyards for four hours. 292 00:13:22,843 --> 00:13:25,804 Seems like a lot of work. What relationship isn't work? 293 00:13:26,096 --> 00:13:27,764 Affleck and Garner got it figured out. 294 00:13:28,056 --> 00:13:29,516 Okay, yes, knowing what's cool 295 00:13:29,808 --> 00:13:31,518 and what's not cool is exhausting. 296 00:13:31,810 --> 00:13:33,812 But I'm learning, and Toby's worth it. 297 00:13:34,104 --> 00:13:35,856 Come on Friday, for me? 298 00:13:36,148 --> 00:13:38,317 There's a thumb-wrestling tournament. 299 00:13:38,608 --> 00:13:40,152 Are any of these people adults? 300 00:13:40,444 --> 00:13:42,154 They will be after the bat mitzvah. 301 00:13:42,446 --> 00:13:45,198 Imagine the beginning of time meets the future of food 302 00:13:45,490 --> 00:13:47,534 and that, my good man... 303 00:13:49,619 --> 00:13:52,289 is Pangaea Grill. 304 00:13:52,581 --> 00:13:56,877 One world, one restaurant. 305 00:13:57,169 --> 00:13:59,129 Incredible. 306 00:13:59,421 --> 00:14:01,173 I have to call my partners in to hear this. 307 00:14:01,465 --> 00:14:02,758 Great. When they get here, 308 00:14:03,050 --> 00:14:03,842 pitch it again. Same way. Okay. 309 00:14:04,885 --> 00:14:07,304 As if you don't know it's the stupidest idea ever. 310 00:14:07,596 --> 00:14:09,973 Okay. What? 311 00:14:10,265 --> 00:14:13,268 I made a big mistake. You can't blame yourself. 312 00:14:13,560 --> 00:14:16,980 No, no, I'm not, you know? I get it, economy's bad, 313 00:14:17,272 --> 00:14:19,399 which is why I'm gonna bypass 314 00:14:19,691 --> 00:14:21,360 the whole traditional investor thing 315 00:14:21,651 --> 00:14:23,487 and cash in on my 401 K. 316 00:14:23,779 --> 00:14:26,031 Plus, I'm working with this guy who told me a way 317 00:14:26,323 --> 00:14:27,741 I can get cash from his dad. 318 00:14:28,033 --> 00:14:29,618 Sounds sketchy, right? 319 00:14:29,910 --> 00:14:32,954 Wrong. All I gotta do is take a box of calling cards 320 00:14:33,246 --> 00:14:36,917 to an airfield in Indiana. Cut and dry. 321 00:14:40,712 --> 00:14:43,840 What's wrong? Light beer? 322 00:14:44,132 --> 00:14:47,052 You don't believe in this Pangaea thing? 323 00:14:47,344 --> 00:14:48,512 I love restaurants. 324 00:14:48,804 --> 00:14:52,557 We... We... We all love restaurants. 325 00:14:53,975 --> 00:14:55,185 Yeah, I get it. 326 00:14:56,686 --> 00:14:59,439 I get it. Dave, come... 327 00:14:59,731 --> 00:15:01,358 This is officially out of hand 328 00:15:01,650 --> 00:15:03,735 and none of you guys is gonna say anything? 329 00:15:04,027 --> 00:15:05,779 Really? 330 00:15:06,071 --> 00:15:07,989 It is light beer. 331 00:15:08,281 --> 00:15:10,700 Fine. I'll do it. 332 00:15:13,829 --> 00:15:15,539 And this all started as your standard 333 00:15:15,831 --> 00:15:18,125 "Who would survive the zombie apocalypse" debate. 334 00:15:18,417 --> 00:15:22,796 Imagine what would happen if we had a real conversation. 335 00:15:25,757 --> 00:15:27,843 Hey. 336 00:15:28,135 --> 00:15:32,055 I know, Pangaea was a stupid idea. 337 00:15:32,347 --> 00:15:34,057 No, not totally. 338 00:15:34,349 --> 00:15:38,478 Just had a lot of stupid stuff surrounding it. 339 00:15:38,770 --> 00:15:42,190 Dave, I know you think I'm a dream crusher, 340 00:15:42,482 --> 00:15:46,319 but in this case I just wanna be a dream compactor. 341 00:15:46,611 --> 00:15:47,571 Like this dream. 342 00:15:47,863 --> 00:15:49,614 Okay, that's not fair. 343 00:15:49,906 --> 00:15:52,742 The hand gestures make compacting look adorable, so... 344 00:15:53,034 --> 00:15:54,911 This huge scheme is not you, okay? 345 00:15:55,203 --> 00:15:56,997 You're reasonable and responsible. 346 00:15:57,289 --> 00:15:59,875 I know. I'm so reasonable and I'm so responsible 347 00:16:00,167 --> 00:16:02,294 it turned me into a zombie, all right? 348 00:16:02,586 --> 00:16:04,838 I got that message loud and clear. 349 00:16:05,130 --> 00:16:08,133 Okay, but look, there's a middle ground. 350 00:16:08,425 --> 00:16:11,219 You don't need to go from zero to 60 in... 351 00:16:11,511 --> 00:16:13,555 Whatever. I don't know car stuff. 352 00:16:13,847 --> 00:16:18,643 Look, you don't need sushi, you don't need Kazak food. 353 00:16:18,935 --> 00:16:21,438 You don't need to try and make the vegans happy. 354 00:16:21,730 --> 00:16:23,607 They never will be. 355 00:16:23,899 --> 00:16:27,027 Steak sandwich, okay? Stick with what you're good at. 356 00:16:27,319 --> 00:16:29,571 Start small. A little sandwich shop, maybe. 357 00:16:29,863 --> 00:16:31,281 I still need to find some money. 358 00:16:41,333 --> 00:16:42,751 Are you proposing to me? 359 00:16:43,043 --> 00:16:44,419 Because we have a weird history. 360 00:16:44,711 --> 00:16:46,505 I know you said I could keep it, 361 00:16:46,796 --> 00:16:48,298 but I want you to have it. 362 00:16:48,590 --> 00:16:51,968 It's not gonna cover everything, but it's a start. 363 00:16:52,260 --> 00:16:54,262 Thanks, Al. 364 00:16:54,554 --> 00:16:56,890 Hey, I can call my shop Steak Me Home Tonight. 365 00:16:57,182 --> 00:16:59,184 No, you can't do that. Okay. 366 00:17:00,769 --> 00:17:02,145 You don't look ruthless to me. 367 00:17:02,437 --> 00:17:04,022 Can't outrun a zombie in those heels. 368 00:17:04,314 --> 00:17:06,316 In high school, I beat up a girl in these heels. 369 00:17:06,608 --> 00:17:08,610 Noelle should've never stepped to you. 370 00:17:08,902 --> 00:17:11,279 Thank you so much for coming. 371 00:17:11,571 --> 00:17:13,615 Watch the crimp. You look amazing. 372 00:17:13,907 --> 00:17:16,034 Let's get this '90s bat mitzvah on. 373 00:17:16,326 --> 00:17:18,912 It's gonna be insanity. 374 00:17:26,586 --> 00:17:30,048 Uh, no one here is dressed up. 375 00:17:30,340 --> 00:17:32,634 I am super-happy with my choices. 376 00:17:32,926 --> 00:17:34,261 Ooh, gefilte fish. 377 00:17:34,553 --> 00:17:36,721 You guys seem to be putting in a lot of effort. 378 00:17:37,013 --> 00:17:39,516 Yeah, we're dressed for a '90s bat mitzvah. 379 00:17:39,808 --> 00:17:43,186 Yeah, crimped hair, yarmulkes, seems a little obvious. 380 00:17:43,478 --> 00:17:46,231 Obvious? To be dressing up for a costume party? 381 00:17:46,523 --> 00:17:51,111 Um, this is a theme party. There's a difference. 382 00:17:51,403 --> 00:17:55,198 Look, it's just not cool to try so hard. 383 00:17:57,117 --> 00:17:59,327 We are trying too hard? 384 00:17:59,619 --> 00:18:03,081 Lone wears an empty fanny pack everywhere. 385 00:18:03,373 --> 00:18:05,208 Atticus spends his weekends at yard sales 386 00:18:05,500 --> 00:18:07,043 scrounging around for jean shorts. 387 00:18:07,335 --> 00:18:09,004 Plus, his name is Atticus. 388 00:18:09,296 --> 00:18:10,714 I've seen you wearing headphones 389 00:18:11,006 --> 00:18:12,465 that aren't attached to anything, 390 00:18:12,757 --> 00:18:15,010 and this girl is in a fake wheelchair. 391 00:18:15,302 --> 00:18:16,928 I was in a really serious accident. 392 00:18:17,220 --> 00:18:18,388 Oh, my God, I'm so sorry. 393 00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:21,141 J.K., I can totes walk. Cool chair, right? 394 00:18:21,433 --> 00:18:24,311 Okay, that's it, you're done. 395 00:18:24,603 --> 00:18:26,688 Listen up, hipsters. 396 00:18:26,980 --> 00:18:28,940 Maybe I do try too hard, okay? 397 00:18:29,232 --> 00:18:31,067 But that's because trying hard can be fun. 398 00:18:31,359 --> 00:18:34,154 And you know what else is fun? Actually liking things. 399 00:18:34,446 --> 00:18:36,573 Like this song, I like this song. 400 00:18:36,865 --> 00:18:39,159 I like it a lot, and not ironically. 401 00:18:39,451 --> 00:18:42,120 I "like it" like it, and so do my friends. 402 00:18:42,412 --> 00:18:44,914 Guys, we're dancing out. 403 00:18:53,715 --> 00:18:55,592 Guys. 404 00:18:55,884 --> 00:18:57,927 This is not awkward. 405 00:18:58,219 --> 00:19:00,263 Here, come... Here we go. 406 00:19:00,555 --> 00:19:02,807 Okay. You showed them. Okay. 407 00:19:03,099 --> 00:19:06,311 You're good. The legs. Night. 408 00:19:09,773 --> 00:19:11,775 Oh, a food truck. Thank God, I'm starving. 409 00:19:12,067 --> 00:19:14,235 - Yeah, me too. - Ugh, I'm hung. 410 00:19:14,527 --> 00:19:16,488 David? Is this yours? 411 00:19:16,780 --> 00:19:18,990 It's awesome. I know. 412 00:19:19,282 --> 00:19:22,327 I got some really good advice from a special person 413 00:19:22,619 --> 00:19:24,120 and decided to start small. 414 00:19:24,412 --> 00:19:27,916 It's all about the bravelength. No, no, not you. Uh, Alex. 415 00:19:28,208 --> 00:19:31,336 So I'm not gonna quit my job. I'm gonna do this part-time. 416 00:19:31,628 --> 00:19:34,089 Food trucks are huge right now. This thing is awesome. 417 00:19:34,381 --> 00:19:36,675 Although, I cannot drive it. 418 00:19:36,966 --> 00:19:38,843 I definitely hit something on the way here. 419 00:19:39,135 --> 00:19:41,930 Was it a man? A log? A beast? We'll never know. 420 00:19:42,222 --> 00:19:46,726 Hey, guys, food truck. Hipsters love food trucks. 421 00:19:47,018 --> 00:19:49,979 Dude, I don't have any food. They're not gonna like that. 422 00:19:50,271 --> 00:19:51,940 I can't lose my biggest consumer base. 423 00:19:52,232 --> 00:19:53,650 They'll tweet me out of business. 424 00:19:53,942 --> 00:19:56,277 Everybody get in the truck. Distract the hipsters. 425 00:19:56,569 --> 00:19:59,656 Look there! Sofia Coppola's playing badminton 426 00:19:59,948 --> 00:20:02,325 with Jason Schwartzman. 427 00:20:02,617 --> 00:20:03,910 Drive! Drive! 428 00:20:07,539 --> 00:20:09,916 Impressive moves back there with those hipsters. 429 00:20:10,208 --> 00:20:12,043 Maybe we'd do okay in a zombie apocalypse. 430 00:20:12,335 --> 00:20:14,754 With our skills combined, we'd be unstoppable. 431 00:20:15,046 --> 00:20:17,173 Oh, there's more of them. 432 00:20:17,465 --> 00:20:19,509 What? 433 00:20:19,801 --> 00:20:21,678 Ruthlessness! Whoo! 434 00:20:21,970 --> 00:20:24,681 All right. Okay, very funny, guys. 435 00:20:24,973 --> 00:20:27,016 Throw your friend out of a car. Slow down. 436 00:20:27,308 --> 00:20:28,727 Dave, slow down, I can't run. 437 00:20:29,018 --> 00:20:30,478 I didn't stretch today. Slow down. 438 00:20:30,770 --> 00:20:32,230 Ah! I pulled my hamstring, Dave. 439 00:20:33,273 --> 00:20:35,483 Dave, I pulled my hammy out. Slow down. 440 00:20:35,775 --> 00:20:38,778 I pulled my other hamstring. I pulled my other hamstring! 441 00:20:39,070 --> 00:20:41,948 Dave! Dave, you're... 442 00:20:42,240 --> 00:20:43,742 This is not something friends do. 443 00:20:44,033 --> 00:20:45,034 I have a cramp.