1
00:00:01,932 --> 00:00:04,142
-Dad.
- What are you doing up?
2
00:00:04,225 --> 00:00:05,602
I can't sleep.
3
00:00:06,144 --> 00:00:08,313
Wait. Do you eat while I'm in bed?
4
00:00:08,396 --> 00:00:10,398
Is there a meal I don't know about?
5
00:00:10,482 --> 00:00:12,817
A couple. But you have to go to bed.
6
00:00:13,068 --> 00:00:16,529
You must cut logs until 7:00 AM.
7
00:00:17,572 --> 00:00:19,616
I don't know what any of that means.
8
00:00:19,950 --> 00:00:22,911
Gloria and I go through
a romantic drought.
9
00:00:23,078 --> 00:00:25,246
Luckily she's out tonight
with his friend Rebecca,
10
00:00:25,330 --> 00:00:27,082
who is married to an idiot.
11
00:00:27,290 --> 00:00:30,377
Gloria always comes home ready
to show their appreciation.
12
00:00:30,460 --> 00:00:34,089
Suddenly it's okay for me
to go to bed with socks on.
13
00:00:36,841 --> 00:00:38,426
- Gosh.
- I'm at home.
14
00:00:39,135 --> 00:00:41,221
- Hey, Jay.
- How is Rebecca?
15
00:00:41,388 --> 00:00:42,847
She has never been better.
16
00:00:42,931 --> 00:00:45,100
She left the man a month ago,
17
00:00:45,183 --> 00:00:48,937
and it's like a weight has lifted
from her shoulders.
18
00:00:49,020 --> 00:00:51,648
Speaking of shoulders, you're all set
for one of my famous massages?
19
00:00:51,731 --> 00:00:52,731
Thanks, but that's fine.
20
00:00:54,067 --> 00:00:55,735
That's her. Hello.
21
00:00:57,362 --> 00:00:58,363
The waiter?
22
00:00:59,155 --> 00:01:02,075
I knew he was flirting with you.
23
00:01:02,158 --> 00:01:04,369
Don't forget the chump she married.
24
00:01:04,661 --> 00:01:06,121
You have one of the good guys.
25
00:01:08,707 --> 00:01:10,750
And he didn't have to write down our order,
26
00:01:10,834 --> 00:01:13,003
so you know he won't come
forget your birthday.
27
00:01:16,923 --> 00:01:19,509
Joe leaves all his toys on the floor.
28
00:01:19,592 --> 00:01:21,845
I ask him to pick them up,
but he doesn't listen.
29
00:01:22,137 --> 00:01:26,182
I tell you,
it's a disaster in the bedroom.
30
00:01:26,307 --> 00:01:27,976
I don't know what to do.
31
00:01:28,059 --> 00:01:31,187
It's like he doesn't remember
where things should be.
32
00:01:31,271 --> 00:01:35,650
Eventually I get so frustrated,
that I take care of it myself.
33
00:01:37,068 --> 00:01:38,153
Spanking?
34
00:01:39,279 --> 00:01:41,072
Well, I guess we could try that.
35
00:01:41,239 --> 00:01:45,785
Now that you mention it, Javier and I
tried it a long time ago.
36
00:01:45,869 --> 00:01:47,245
It changed everything.
37
00:01:49,122 --> 00:01:52,959
-Rebecca is doing so well.
- Sounds like she's having fun.
38
00:01:53,251 --> 00:01:55,962
The Navy used to get us
to watch movies about such girls.
39
00:01:56,629 --> 00:01:59,799
Her husband never really gave her
what she needed.
40
00:01:59,883 --> 00:02:02,093
- Has she told him?
- No, but sometimes,
41
00:02:02,177 --> 00:02:04,554
is it more exciting to be
with someone who already
42
00:02:04,637 --> 00:02:07,432
know what you want
without you telling them.
43
00:02:07,515 --> 00:02:08,516
I understand.
44
00:02:10,518 --> 00:02:12,312
-What the hell was that?
- Nothing.
45
00:02:12,395 --> 00:02:14,564
I think I forgot
to lock the front door.
46
00:02:28,536 --> 00:02:30,705
- There he is.
- No, don't be angry.
47
00:02:30,789 --> 00:02:33,059
I know I said I just bought
tulips for the party,
48
00:02:33,083 --> 00:02:34,959
but I bet big
and I fixed orchids.
49
00:02:35,043 --> 00:02:36,604
I also wanted to party
would be special,
50
00:02:36,628 --> 00:02:38,755
and in my defense
I didn't know anything about orchids.
51
00:02:39,547 --> 00:02:40,715
I got a piano.
52
00:02:40,799 --> 00:02:42,008
Really? Where?
53
00:02:42,634 --> 00:02:46,888
I recently got a pretty nice job,
to work for billionaire Michael Quinly.
54
00:02:46,971 --> 00:02:48,723
- It's a big deal.
- It's a big deal.
55
00:02:48,807 --> 00:02:51,142
Rightfully so, throwing a party to celebrate
56
00:02:51,226 --> 00:02:54,020
your own reversal of fortune
can be seen as boastful.
57
00:02:54,103 --> 00:02:56,081
A story from rags to rich bitches,
if you want.
58
00:02:56,105 --> 00:02:58,983
And again, for a while now,
when I have told my friends
59
00:02:59,067 --> 00:03:01,861
that I fought, they have given me "mine."
60
00:03:02,111 --> 00:03:05,949
The one who is mostly likeable,
just a touch of enjoying my pain.
61
00:03:06,950 --> 00:03:09,369
So today I get the second mine,
62
00:03:09,452 --> 00:03:12,080
the one that is mostly:
"I'm so happy for you,"
63
00:03:12,163 --> 00:03:14,582
with just a hint of,
"I am full of jealousy."
64
00:03:16,626 --> 00:03:18,306
It will be fun to see the old gang again.
65
00:03:18,336 --> 00:03:19,337
-Yes.
- Yes.
66
00:03:22,841 --> 00:03:26,636
Hello you. What's going on? SMS: are you a guy?
67
00:03:26,719 --> 00:03:29,681
- I'm just figuring out my summer plans.
- I remember my first summer vacation.
68
00:03:29,764 --> 00:03:31,182
I followed NWA on tour.
69
00:03:31,516 --> 00:03:32,934
Nebraskans with accordion.
70
00:03:33,017 --> 00:03:35,603
This was before Polka Pete
brutally murdered, of course.
71
00:03:35,687 --> 00:03:37,021
Yes, this is a little different.
72
00:03:37,105 --> 00:03:38,439
I'm actually involved in practicals
73
00:03:38,523 --> 00:03:41,317
examines of minimal supersymmetric
Standard model at MIT.
74
00:03:41,860 --> 00:03:44,320
Awesome. Boston.
75
00:03:44,404 --> 00:03:46,465
I don't know why I stay
exuberant and happy about it.
76
00:03:46,489 --> 00:03:49,200
- I still won't get it.
- What's with the stop talking?
77
00:03:49,284 --> 00:03:51,724
-If you want my advice...
- No, I don't want that. But thanks.
78
00:03:52,287 --> 00:03:53,329
What kind of rubbish is this?
79
00:03:53,413 --> 00:03:55,053
Fruit rolls. French fries. Chocolate milk.
80
00:03:55,582 --> 00:03:57,041
There is nothing in the fridge.
81
00:03:58,668 --> 00:03:59,752
I'll make you a lunch.
82
00:03:59,961 --> 00:04:01,881
I always heard it was coming
a time in life
83
00:04:01,963 --> 00:04:04,340
when the child begins to raise the parents.
84
00:04:04,716 --> 00:04:06,569
I thought it would be
when I was 40 years old,
85
00:04:06,593 --> 00:04:08,428
but I'm quite mature for my age,
86
00:04:08,511 --> 00:04:10,388
and my dad claps
when he gets waffle fries.
87
00:04:10,680 --> 00:04:11,806
What are you still doing at home?
88
00:04:12,182 --> 00:04:13,909
Do you usually not open
your magic shop now?
89
00:04:13,933 --> 00:04:15,602
Yes, I'm going in a little late.
90
00:04:16,060 --> 00:04:17,353
Doesn't sound good for business.
91
00:04:17,604 --> 00:04:19,404
And I saw you take out the carrots
out of your lunch.
92
00:04:19,731 --> 00:04:21,771
I try to avoid
one of the other business owners.
93
00:04:22,275 --> 00:04:23,818
He's pretty scary.
94
00:04:23,902 --> 00:04:26,779
It started with a dispute over
a parking lot and then escalated.
95
00:04:27,071 --> 00:04:28,072
Hello.
96
00:04:28,781 --> 00:04:31,326
We do not avoid bullies in this family.
We stand up to them.
97
00:04:32,660 --> 00:04:33,745
Go now.
98
00:04:33,953 --> 00:04:36,182
I don't think you realize what type
of the person I stand against.
99
00:04:36,206 --> 00:04:39,000
Yesterday all my dribble glasses were
replaced with real ones.
100
00:04:39,292 --> 00:04:40,585
It was humiliating.
101
00:04:41,169 --> 00:04:43,546
We have a lot to talk about, Longe.
102
00:04:43,630 --> 00:04:45,298
-How is it?
- Not my weight.
103
00:04:45,423 --> 00:04:48,051
Tom Brady diet
changed the way I see the world.
104
00:04:48,259 --> 00:04:49,761
Food. Not food.
105
00:04:49,928 --> 00:04:51,387
Super food. Married.
106
00:04:51,554 --> 00:04:53,306
Okay, got you covered.
107
00:04:53,598 --> 00:04:55,099
I was going to ask about you
108
00:04:55,308 --> 00:04:57,077
but you know I'm always nervous
for the answer.
109
00:04:57,101 --> 00:04:58,394
Let's turn the dice.
110
00:04:58,478 --> 00:04:59,854
-So it turns out...
- Hey, Mitch.
111
00:04:59,938 --> 00:05:01,606
-Hello.
- Hey, where's Cam?
112
00:05:01,689 --> 00:05:02,815
Hello.
113
00:05:02,899 --> 00:05:04,609
Claire, what a surprise!
114
00:05:04,692 --> 00:05:06,670
What are you talking about? You asked me
to bring piano music.
115
00:05:06,694 --> 00:05:09,447
Party Favorites? My God. So fitting.
116
00:05:09,697 --> 00:05:11,908
I'll just put them on our new piano,
117
00:05:12,408 --> 00:05:13,660
like i know how to play.
118
00:05:14,619 --> 00:05:15,828
Great party, guys.
119
00:05:16,120 --> 00:05:18,206
We need to talk about the piano in the room.
120
00:05:18,539 --> 00:05:20,375
Well, okay, so…
121
00:05:20,458 --> 00:05:21,834
Cam has always wanted one.
122
00:05:21,918 --> 00:05:25,630
And frankly, it's been out of style
price range until this week.
123
00:05:26,047 --> 00:05:28,091
Funny story. It turns out…
124
00:05:28,174 --> 00:05:29,342
I am rude.
125
00:05:29,550 --> 00:05:30,843
Sam Turnbull.
126
00:05:31,761 --> 00:05:33,012
Claire Dunphy. Hello.
127
00:05:33,096 --> 00:05:35,016
You are the editor of
LA Woman-magazine, right?
128
00:05:35,098 --> 00:05:37,266
I think it was pronounced "La Woman."
129
00:05:37,350 --> 00:05:38,643
-No.
- How funny.
130
00:05:38,726 --> 00:05:41,145
Your office called
my company last week.
131
00:05:41,229 --> 00:05:45,400
Apparently I'm on a short list
for "Women in Business" issues?
132
00:05:45,733 --> 00:05:46,901
Wardrobes, right?
133
00:05:46,985 --> 00:05:48,861
Yes, I broke the glass ceiling.
134
00:05:48,945 --> 00:05:52,115
And ironically, we have a new one
glass ceiling wardrobe.
135
00:05:52,198 --> 00:05:53,908
You can tell if it's raining when you get dressed.
136
00:05:54,158 --> 00:05:55,451
We will save a lot of suede.
137
00:05:55,660 --> 00:05:58,162
It's pretty competitive this year.
138
00:05:58,788 --> 00:06:00,873
Anyway, I'm going to meet someone
on the other side of the piano.
139
00:06:01,207 --> 00:06:02,375
I should go now.
140
00:06:04,627 --> 00:06:08,089
I don't even care
about his stupid paper,
141
00:06:08,172 --> 00:06:09,549
but to be fired like that?
142
00:06:09,632 --> 00:06:13,094
Hello everyone. Thank you all
so much for coming.
143
00:06:13,386 --> 00:06:16,681
We may never see each other again,
with our busy lives,
144
00:06:17,015 --> 00:06:19,600
Jotham's ambient music compositions,
145
00:06:19,684 --> 00:06:21,978
and Deepak's guerrilla farming.
146
00:06:22,061 --> 00:06:26,024
And I, in my new big job,
147
00:06:26,107 --> 00:06:27,608
works for Michael Quinly.
148
00:06:27,984 --> 00:06:28,985
Yes.
149
00:06:29,068 --> 00:06:31,362
The rich guy whose name
are in all these museums?
150
00:06:31,446 --> 00:06:32,447
And hospital, yes.
151
00:06:32,655 --> 00:06:33,906
To all of us.
152
00:06:35,366 --> 00:06:36,659
Congratulations.
153
00:06:37,994 --> 00:06:40,496
It's really good.
We are all so happy for you.
154
00:06:40,580 --> 00:06:42,373
-Thank you, thank you. Hello.
- Hello.
155
00:06:42,665 --> 00:06:43,916
You saw the look, didn't you?
156
00:06:44,375 --> 00:06:48,004
Pure love and support,
with just a hint of insane jealousy.
157
00:06:48,379 --> 00:06:51,424
-One word.
- I'm warming up. Cam!
158
00:06:51,841 --> 00:06:56,471
So while you were talking I went online
and your boss got busted for embezzlement.
159
00:06:56,804 --> 00:06:58,181
Your business is collapsing.
160
00:06:58,264 --> 00:07:00,933
No, no. This can't happen to me again.
161
00:07:01,017 --> 00:07:03,186
You will find something new.
162
00:07:03,519 --> 00:07:06,397
Cam, I literally bragged about a job
which does not exist.
163
00:07:06,606 --> 00:07:08,316
Okay, they can't know that,
164
00:07:08,483 --> 00:07:10,443
otherwise this will really happen
a terrible party.
165
00:07:10,526 --> 00:07:11,986
I'll arrange it.
166
00:07:12,070 --> 00:07:15,239
Hello everyone. So, we will
get to know each other
167
00:07:15,323 --> 00:07:17,742
on a deeper, more personal level.
168
00:07:17,825 --> 00:07:19,786
I think everyone knows what the bowl is for.
169
00:07:21,037 --> 00:07:23,581
Okay. No, not your keys, Jotham.
170
00:07:24,082 --> 00:07:28,044
Your phones. We are going to rediscover
the lost conversation.
171
00:07:28,336 --> 00:07:29,396
What happens if the attendant calls?
172
00:07:29,420 --> 00:07:30,797
Your dog will be fine.
173
00:07:30,880 --> 00:07:31,960
Your phones, gentlemen.
174
00:07:35,843 --> 00:07:38,888
-Do you work on a Saturday?
- I have been working on a small problem.
175
00:07:38,971 --> 00:07:41,291
And in moments like this,
I turn to one thing only.
176
00:07:41,599 --> 00:07:43,184
I'm flattered, Dad.
177
00:07:44,185 --> 00:07:45,269
Certainly.
178
00:07:45,812 --> 00:07:47,355
But since you are here…
179
00:07:48,648 --> 00:07:49,899
It is a difficult subject.
180
00:07:51,109 --> 00:07:55,279
Gloria and me
have a problem in the bedroom.
181
00:07:55,488 --> 00:07:56,489
Okay.
182
00:07:56,572 --> 00:07:59,283
There has been a reduction
of pace and intensity.
183
00:07:59,659 --> 00:08:02,245
I get the impression that she is looking
after some more variation,
184
00:08:02,328 --> 00:08:03,514
but you can't blame her.
185
00:08:03,538 --> 00:08:05,540
I have used the same movements
since the 70s.
186
00:08:05,623 --> 00:08:07,333
I might as well dance the hustle.
187
00:08:07,500 --> 00:08:09,127
I'm just going to wet my lips…
188
00:08:09,210 --> 00:08:12,422
I heard her talking with her friend
last night about wanting to be spanked.
189
00:08:13,673 --> 00:08:16,801
And later, the chance came and…
190
00:08:16,884 --> 00:08:18,719
- No, you didn't.
- Three times.
191
00:08:18,803 --> 00:08:20,155
God, why three times, Dad?
192
00:08:20,179 --> 00:08:22,682
I don't know. All these years
of table tennis in the warehouse.
193
00:08:22,765 --> 00:08:24,434
I have very flexible wrists,
194
00:08:24,517 --> 00:08:26,644
but i don't know
how do i come back from this.
195
00:08:26,811 --> 00:08:29,063
Dad, when you…
196
00:08:30,064 --> 00:08:31,941
When you did what you did with Gloria,
197
00:08:32,024 --> 00:08:34,026
you did the sex about her body,
198
00:08:34,110 --> 00:08:36,320
and a woman wants it to be
in the thoughts.
199
00:08:36,404 --> 00:08:39,407
Crap. I was afraid it would work
about that kind of thing.
200
00:08:39,949 --> 00:08:42,452
Listen, she's an intelligent,
interesting woman,
201
00:08:42,535 --> 00:08:44,120
and you only need to remind her
202
00:08:44,203 --> 00:08:47,290
that you see it, unlike,
i don't know, LA Woman magazine,
203
00:08:47,373 --> 00:08:49,053
who only cares about how a woman looks.
204
00:08:49,292 --> 00:08:50,793
Have we released my thing now?
205
00:08:50,877 --> 00:08:52,211
Hopefully forever, yes.
206
00:08:52,295 --> 00:08:55,339
I ran into the editor for it
magazine at Cam and Mitch's today,
207
00:08:55,423 --> 00:08:57,884
he looked at me and suddenly
208
00:08:57,967 --> 00:08:59,887
is off away from theirs
Women with Companies list.
209
00:08:59,969 --> 00:09:01,929
So LA Woman is its own magazine?
210
00:09:02,263 --> 00:09:04,765
I remember when it was the back
on LA Man.
211
00:09:04,849 --> 00:09:06,893
I guess I'm not that glamorous
212
00:09:06,976 --> 00:09:09,937
as Linda Vaughn,
the queen of corrective shoes.
213
00:09:10,021 --> 00:09:12,499
And this has nothing to do with
the fact that you showed up
214
00:09:12,523 --> 00:09:14,442
and look just like you
took care of the horses?
215
00:09:14,609 --> 00:09:16,068
Who cares? What about merit?
216
00:09:16,277 --> 00:09:18,112
I hear you, but you have to play the game.
217
00:09:18,196 --> 00:09:21,866
I didn't get the cover
of Closet Times, september 1978 issue,
218
00:09:22,158 --> 00:09:25,077
by wearing Jordache jeans
one size too big.
219
00:09:25,286 --> 00:09:28,873
I don't do it. They can keep
their beauty pageant. I don't care.
220
00:09:29,081 --> 00:09:31,125
Before you say "No", look here.
221
00:09:33,002 --> 00:09:34,062
It doesn't make that change
you think it does, dad.
222
00:09:34,086 --> 00:09:35,646
JAY PRITCHETT REVEALS HIS
SUCCESS STORY
223
00:09:36,088 --> 00:09:37,673
My God!
224
00:09:40,259 --> 00:09:41,636
Okay, that's all the phones.
225
00:09:41,719 --> 00:09:44,847
No one will find out that you
lose your job until after the party.
226
00:09:45,640 --> 00:09:47,058
Okay, I'll take it.
227
00:09:47,141 --> 00:09:50,120
You call someone to return it
the piano that we can no longer afford.
228
00:09:50,144 --> 00:09:53,231
We couldn't really afford it
with your new job either.
229
00:09:55,107 --> 00:09:57,235
Why haven't you texted?
back to me?
230
00:09:58,486 --> 00:10:00,613
-You're judging us, aren't you?
- No.
231
00:10:01,072 --> 00:10:03,407
This is nothing compared
with the things that I have heard.
232
00:10:03,533 --> 00:10:06,244
- That you...
- I never saw your text, okay.
233
00:10:06,327 --> 00:10:07,767
All our phones are in a bowl.
234
00:10:07,912 --> 00:10:09,705
It's that kind of party.
235
00:10:10,122 --> 00:10:11,499
What do you think we do?
236
00:10:11,582 --> 00:10:12,750
I have a problem.
237
00:10:12,917 --> 00:10:14,210
Can it wait? I have guests.
238
00:10:14,293 --> 00:10:16,170
Your father spanked me.
239
00:10:16,337 --> 00:10:17,797
It's a buffet, they can handle it.
240
00:10:17,880 --> 00:10:19,799
Okay, talked to the piano company.
241
00:10:19,882 --> 00:10:21,842
My father spanked her,
you are all busy.
242
00:10:22,051 --> 00:10:23,636
-What did you do?
- What?
243
00:10:23,803 --> 00:10:25,763
I screamed, he ran away.
244
00:10:26,013 --> 00:10:27,682
And now I think he's embarrassed.
245
00:10:27,932 --> 00:10:30,393
Okay, for what it's worth, sometimes,
246
00:10:30,476 --> 00:10:34,313
people do things to other people
as they wish to have done to themselves.
247
00:10:34,522 --> 00:10:36,023
Sometimes several years in a row.
248
00:10:36,732 --> 00:10:41,279
Really? So you think that's what Jay wants
that I should spank him?
249
00:10:41,445 --> 00:10:45,658
If he is like some of the successful,
powerful men I've been with, yes.
250
00:10:45,741 --> 00:10:46,742
Who are these men?
251
00:10:46,826 --> 00:10:48,035
What am I not doing?
252
00:10:48,369 --> 00:10:51,038
I guess I could ask him
if that's what he wants.
253
00:10:51,122 --> 00:10:52,540
No. Don't do it.
254
00:10:52,623 --> 00:10:54,250
He probably already feels self-conscious.
255
00:10:54,333 --> 00:10:57,003
Act relaxed, like it never happened.
256
00:10:57,336 --> 00:10:58,379
I can do it.
257
00:11:00,298 --> 00:11:03,342
I haven't even said anything about
this giant piano you have here.
258
00:11:03,634 --> 00:11:05,511
If it is not returned today,
259
00:11:05,678 --> 00:11:07,638
we own it, so the moving company is on its way.
260
00:11:07,722 --> 00:11:09,807
Okay, I think our guests
will notice it,
261
00:11:09,890 --> 00:11:12,560
-maybe ask a question or two.
- I have this.
262
00:11:12,893 --> 00:11:14,395
Hi, guys. Serve.
263
00:11:14,478 --> 00:11:17,148
-Mitchell and I...
- Maybe just Cam, not sure yet.
264
00:11:17,231 --> 00:11:19,859
About to remodel our bathroom,
and we wondered,
265
00:11:19,942 --> 00:11:24,363
is there anyone here who has strong opinions
about interior design?
266
00:11:25,031 --> 00:11:26,991
Can you follow me this way?
267
00:11:28,034 --> 00:11:30,369
All right, all in.
Yes, there is plenty of space,
268
00:11:30,453 --> 00:11:33,080
and I just close the door,
gives you some space of your own
269
00:11:33,164 --> 00:11:34,790
so you can speak freely.
270
00:11:34,874 --> 00:11:35,958
Go ahead.
271
00:11:36,500 --> 00:11:38,419
Look there,
272
00:11:39,337 --> 00:11:40,629
the door handle came loose.
273
00:11:40,796 --> 00:11:42,214
Wait, I have to fix this.
274
00:11:42,965 --> 00:11:44,091
Hi, Dad.
275
00:11:44,592 --> 00:11:45,885
Hello sweetie, what are you doing here?
276
00:11:46,052 --> 00:11:47,904
Did you really believe
that I would not notice these?
277
00:11:47,928 --> 00:11:49,972
In addition, I got the internship.
278
00:11:50,181 --> 00:11:51,867
I just need your signature
on my insurance form.
279
00:11:51,891 --> 00:11:54,018
I told you to be positive.
280
00:11:54,101 --> 00:11:55,770
How fun is this going to be?
281
00:11:56,020 --> 00:11:57,772
It's not about fun.
282
00:11:58,022 --> 00:12:00,649
It will be a lot of work.
The pressure is beyond all limits.
283
00:12:00,733 --> 00:12:02,777
That would explain it
the mental deviation.
284
00:12:02,860 --> 00:12:05,505
The last undereducated they sounded
in to the program broke completely.
285
00:12:05,529 --> 00:12:06,882
They found her wandering
Freedom Trail
286
00:12:06,906 --> 00:12:08,699
in only her goggles.
287
00:12:09,700 --> 00:12:10,785
Dunphy.
288
00:12:11,494 --> 00:12:12,854
You've parked in my spot again.
289
00:12:13,079 --> 00:12:14,997
- It's her.
- Is she your bully?
290
00:12:15,081 --> 00:12:16,540
You do realize she's not even that big?
291
00:12:16,624 --> 00:12:18,000
It's mostly just hair.
292
00:12:18,876 --> 00:12:19,960
Who is the sports fan?
293
00:12:20,795 --> 00:12:22,463
Stephanie, this is my daughter Alex.
294
00:12:22,546 --> 00:12:23,881
Alex, this is Stephanie.
295
00:12:23,964 --> 00:12:25,966
She owns the board game store next door.
296
00:12:26,133 --> 00:12:28,094
Yes, I am selling Magic: The Gathering.
297
00:12:28,344 --> 00:12:30,846
And he sells magic and no one collects.
298
00:12:30,930 --> 00:12:31,931
Come again.
299
00:12:32,223 --> 00:12:33,599
Dad, remember what we talked about.
300
00:12:33,766 --> 00:12:35,643
Yes. Technically...
301
00:12:38,062 --> 00:12:40,731
Place nine is a shared parking space.
302
00:12:41,649 --> 00:12:44,193
See whose missing bullets
who came back.
303
00:12:44,735 --> 00:12:46,855
How about we work this out
once and for all,
304
00:12:46,987 --> 00:12:49,824
with the recently released collects
edition of Wizards and Warlocks?
305
00:12:50,282 --> 00:12:51,367
Get on with it.
306
00:12:51,575 --> 00:12:53,285
I'm done being pushed by you.
307
00:12:53,369 --> 00:12:54,370
The winner gets the place.
308
00:12:54,703 --> 00:12:58,207
It's a role playing game. I am Zor-El,
a 19th level wizard, with 30 gold
309
00:12:58,290 --> 00:12:59,690
and a cow that used to be my son.
310
00:12:59,875 --> 00:13:01,794
I know the game.
I go to CalTech.
311
00:13:01,877 --> 00:13:04,022
The guy who invented it
gave our opening speech last year.
312
00:13:04,046 --> 00:13:05,714
Okay, Dunphy, when we left off,
313
00:13:05,798 --> 00:13:08,384
you had just sold
your long sword for some beans.
314
00:13:08,467 --> 00:13:10,886
-Which could have been magical.
- There was no indication of that.
315
00:13:10,970 --> 00:13:12,179
Dad, where is all your gold?
316
00:13:12,263 --> 00:13:13,740
I realized that Zor-El doesn't like to be
317
00:13:13,764 --> 00:13:15,599
weighed down by too many worldly possessions.
318
00:13:15,808 --> 00:13:18,394
But the key is to raid early
and exchange your gold for weapons
319
00:13:18,477 --> 00:13:20,479
before the Van Wickle Gates open
and the giants are released.
320
00:13:20,813 --> 00:13:21,939
Prohibition card!
321
00:13:22,148 --> 00:13:23,649
Your hands are now hooves.
322
00:13:24,150 --> 00:13:25,151
Your turn.
323
00:13:25,234 --> 00:13:26,610
But first a suggestion.
324
00:13:26,861 --> 00:13:28,070
my shield,
325
00:13:28,279 --> 00:13:29,572
for your feathered coat.
326
00:13:29,655 --> 00:13:31,495
I can't watch this,
give me them Up.
327
00:13:38,038 --> 00:13:39,141
I see where you're going with this.
328
00:13:39,165 --> 00:13:41,333
Coming to a peace conference
with the advice of elders.
329
00:13:41,417 --> 00:13:43,919
No, I take the advice of the elders
on our ships and burn them.
330
00:13:44,003 --> 00:13:45,004
Run!
331
00:13:46,589 --> 00:13:49,967
I am here. Reading a magazine, Jay.
332
00:13:50,050 --> 00:13:51,343
Therein lies my genius.
333
00:13:51,427 --> 00:13:53,572
You didn't even have to turn around
and you knew it was me.
334
00:13:53,596 --> 00:13:57,057
Manny is at school,
and Joe doesn't have a key, so…
335
00:13:57,600 --> 00:13:58,809
What are you browsing through?
336
00:13:58,893 --> 00:14:01,145
Nothing. Just a fashion magazine.
337
00:14:01,353 --> 00:14:03,189
In English. Your second language.
338
00:14:03,981 --> 00:14:05,566
With all that information in your head
339
00:14:05,649 --> 00:14:07,568
should we call you "Encyclopedia Brown."
340
00:14:07,943 --> 00:14:09,623
It sounds like gibberish,
but it isn't.
341
00:14:09,695 --> 00:14:10,797
I guess you can help me
342
00:14:10,821 --> 00:14:12,031
with something I've struggled with.
343
00:14:12,114 --> 00:14:13,157
I doubt it.
344
00:14:13,365 --> 00:14:15,242
Give me excitement. Dream on.
345
00:14:15,993 --> 00:14:17,411
What do you want me to do?
346
00:14:17,495 --> 00:14:19,497
I'm sure you can figure it out
this clue.
347
00:14:19,580 --> 00:14:21,874
Come on! One across,
help me get started.
348
00:14:25,169 --> 00:14:26,253
What the hell!
349
00:14:26,337 --> 00:14:27,713
What the hell!
350
00:14:27,797 --> 00:14:29,757
I'll clean my room, I promise.
351
00:14:35,846 --> 00:14:36,931
Hell!
352
00:14:37,014 --> 00:14:38,557
You made it to the summit of Exmoor.
353
00:14:38,641 --> 00:14:39,850
Does it exist?
354
00:14:41,519 --> 00:14:44,438
I must collect the forms by 5:00 p.m
if I will get the internship,
355
00:14:44,563 --> 00:14:45,856
which of course I get,
356
00:14:45,940 --> 00:14:47,834
because I have been working
for this in my whole life.
357
00:14:47,858 --> 00:14:50,277
Dad, take over. You cannot lose.
358
00:14:53,447 --> 00:14:55,115
You seem to be at a crossroads.
359
00:14:55,366 --> 00:14:56,551
War against the guards at the Summit Gate,
360
00:14:56,575 --> 00:14:58,327
or take a gateway to unknown land.
361
00:14:58,619 --> 00:15:01,330
It would be so much easier
if it was known.
362
00:15:01,956 --> 00:15:03,624
You don't struggle with this, do you?
363
00:15:03,707 --> 00:15:06,085
What if the gate leads
somewhere really cool?
364
00:15:06,377 --> 00:15:08,170
You win by reaching the summit.
365
00:15:08,337 --> 00:15:11,048
There is a 62% chance to port
leads directly back to the meadow.
366
00:15:11,131 --> 00:15:12,216
It's math.
367
00:15:12,633 --> 00:15:15,719
You are in a magical house.
368
00:15:16,136 --> 00:15:17,513
And you are back in the meadow.
369
00:15:17,680 --> 00:15:19,598
-What were you thinking?
- It's okay.
370
00:15:19,682 --> 00:15:21,202
Legend has it there is a shortcut
371
00:15:21,267 --> 00:15:23,269
under one of the toads there.
372
00:15:23,352 --> 00:15:25,396
You don't win by taking shortcuts.
373
00:15:25,479 --> 00:15:28,315
You win by taking the lead,
which is what i did for you
374
00:15:28,607 --> 00:15:30,276
by methodically climbing up the mountain,
375
00:15:30,359 --> 00:15:31,735
ruthlessly defeat your enemies,
376
00:15:31,819 --> 00:15:33,571
and then emerge victorious.
377
00:15:33,654 --> 00:15:35,739
Not shivering around in any meadow.
378
00:15:36,448 --> 00:15:39,702
I'm going out for a vape break
while you two sort this out.
379
00:15:43,163 --> 00:15:44,540
Do you know why I like the meadow?
380
00:15:44,957 --> 00:15:47,018
Because it lets me think
what I want to do next.
381
00:15:47,042 --> 00:15:49,378
Shall I fight the giant,
382
00:15:49,628 --> 00:15:51,922
or the Mushrooms of Despair?
383
00:15:52,548 --> 00:15:56,635
Should I take the super stressful one
practice in Boston,
384
00:15:56,886 --> 00:15:59,638
or do I do it because I believe
That's what I thing to do?
385
00:16:01,140 --> 00:16:02,892
I beat out hundreds of candidates.
386
00:16:03,100 --> 00:16:05,311
I would work with the foremost
the researchers in the field.
387
00:16:05,394 --> 00:16:07,187
This is a chance of a lifetime.
388
00:16:07,271 --> 00:16:09,231
Yes, but it's your lifetime.
389
00:16:09,607 --> 00:16:10,983
It's okay to enjoy it.
390
00:16:12,443 --> 00:16:14,069
Nobody says no to this.
391
00:16:14,361 --> 00:16:17,406
You always like to be
the first to do something.
392
00:16:18,449 --> 00:16:20,034
Give yourself the summer you want.
393
00:16:20,117 --> 00:16:21,869
You have collected
enough gold pieces
394
00:16:21,952 --> 00:16:23,203
to buy you some time.
395
00:16:23,787 --> 00:16:25,039
It won't make me lazy?
396
00:16:25,289 --> 00:16:26,332
Darling,
397
00:16:26,957 --> 00:16:29,293
you went at six months,
398
00:16:30,002 --> 00:16:32,004
spoke at one year, and your first words
399
00:16:32,087 --> 00:16:34,047
was: "Sorry it took me
so long to go."
400
00:16:39,219 --> 00:16:41,180
Okay, so the piano is gone.
401
00:16:41,263 --> 00:16:42,723
By the way, that sound you heard
402
00:16:42,806 --> 00:16:45,392
where the underside of the truck was scraped
towards the street, so...
403
00:16:45,851 --> 00:16:48,020
I don't know, Cam.
Will this really sell it?
404
00:16:48,145 --> 00:16:51,815
Yes, it is. I have learned under
my 36 years that if you believe a lie,
405
00:16:52,149 --> 00:16:53,609
others will too. Okay.
406
00:16:53,859 --> 00:16:55,152
- Let the guests out.
- Okay.
407
00:16:57,529 --> 00:16:59,073
Okay, all fixed.
408
00:16:59,990 --> 00:17:02,242
Typically. Just when your Xanax kicks in.
409
00:17:03,577 --> 00:17:07,539
Listen, we've held
you gathered this beautiful day,
410
00:17:07,706 --> 00:17:10,584
why don't we have the party
for a garden party?
411
00:17:11,710 --> 00:17:13,350
Why is your piano covered with a sheet?
412
00:17:14,755 --> 00:17:16,090
Because they recommended it.
413
00:17:16,173 --> 00:17:19,426
They even say that five minutes
direct sunlight on a new piano like this,
414
00:17:19,510 --> 00:17:22,554
the keys become like
an English person's teeth.
415
00:17:23,222 --> 00:17:25,641
Can we have some appetizers?
416
00:17:25,724 --> 00:17:27,518
and any wine that is already open?
417
00:17:27,601 --> 00:17:29,311
-Already opened wine. Perfect.
- Yes.
418
00:17:29,895 --> 00:17:31,772
-Hey, guys.
- What are you doing here?
419
00:17:31,855 --> 00:17:32,856
Did you not get my text?
420
00:17:32,940 --> 00:17:34,460
No, all our phones are in a bowl.
421
00:17:35,067 --> 00:17:37,486
It's not dirty, unlike
from that dress.
422
00:17:38,112 --> 00:17:39,989
-Hey, Sam.
- My God.
423
00:17:40,072 --> 00:17:42,157
Okay, are you that desperate?
to enter the magazine?
424
00:17:42,241 --> 00:17:44,702
No, I will expose him
for the fraud he is.
425
00:17:44,785 --> 00:17:47,830
He claims that his precious little list
is merit-based.
426
00:17:48,414 --> 00:17:50,774
When I wore sweatpants,
was he not interested.
427
00:17:50,916 --> 00:17:52,268
Now that I've dressed up a bit...
428
00:17:52,292 --> 00:17:53,711
Should have put you on the cover?
429
00:17:54,003 --> 00:17:55,254
Do you think so? Shut up!
430
00:17:55,462 --> 00:17:56,755
Cam, that was an article
431
00:17:56,839 --> 00:17:58,841
in an old Details- magazine
I was reading in your bathroom
432
00:17:58,924 --> 00:18:00,759
about the need to support your friends.
433
00:18:01,093 --> 00:18:02,886
We want to hear you play.
434
00:18:03,053 --> 00:18:06,348
No, you know what, I'm not
in the mood longer.
435
00:18:06,432 --> 00:18:08,392
You are a bigger liar
than your weight. Come again.
436
00:18:08,517 --> 00:18:11,186
A song. No one gets
leave the room until you do.
437
00:18:11,270 --> 00:18:12,271
Then so...
438
00:18:12,354 --> 00:18:14,857
I must say you look beautiful.
439
00:18:15,149 --> 00:18:16,525
Reminds me of my first beard.
440
00:18:16,608 --> 00:18:17,776
Thanks.
441
00:18:17,985 --> 00:18:20,863
I'm a lady on the streets
and a spreadsheet freak.
442
00:18:21,196 --> 00:18:22,757
That's not a bad caption
if you are still interested
443
00:18:22,781 --> 00:18:24,074
to use me in your magazine.
444
00:18:25,576 --> 00:18:27,077
Sounds a bit thin.
445
00:18:27,828 --> 00:18:31,331
All the best do that. You are probably used to
use cheaper, fuller sounds,
446
00:18:31,707 --> 00:18:32,791
uncovered pianos.
447
00:18:33,500 --> 00:18:36,128
Another bride
448
00:18:36,211 --> 00:18:37,629
Another June
449
00:18:38,297 --> 00:18:40,215
From Fabulous Baker Boys.
450
00:18:40,299 --> 00:18:43,469
Another sunny honeymoon
451
00:18:43,552 --> 00:18:45,512
What a sexy movie.
452
00:18:45,596 --> 00:18:47,347
Another season
453
00:18:47,431 --> 00:18:49,475
When Michelle Pfeiffer first…
454
00:18:49,558 --> 00:18:51,018
Another reason
455
00:18:51,101 --> 00:18:52,853
...jumped into our heart...
456
00:18:56,231 --> 00:18:57,483
Wait, where's the piano?
457
00:18:58,734 --> 00:18:59,985
I'm fine by the way.
458
00:19:00,069 --> 00:19:02,029
So we got rid of the piano.
459
00:19:02,112 --> 00:19:03,322
We can't afford it.
460
00:19:03,405 --> 00:19:08,035
The big job that I had,
I lost it. So...
461
00:19:08,118 --> 00:19:10,204
I couldn't have had
more wrong about our friends.
462
00:19:10,287 --> 00:19:12,790
Yes, they can be funny sometimes,
463
00:19:12,873 --> 00:19:16,543
but when I really needed their support,
they were there for me.
464
00:19:16,627 --> 00:19:17,628
You should look at your life
465
00:19:17,711 --> 00:19:20,047
and see what happened
to make you so distrustful.
466
00:19:20,130 --> 00:19:21,298
I should.
467
00:19:21,381 --> 00:19:24,343
My God! And to think we locked them up
in the bathroom for no reason.
468
00:19:24,426 --> 00:19:26,970
- It couldn't have been fun.
- Yes, I know.
469
00:19:27,137 --> 00:19:29,264
Same thing
happened to me once, remember?
470
00:19:29,348 --> 00:19:32,434
When the handle accidentally fell off
the night of our first argument?
471
00:19:32,518 --> 00:19:34,394
Yes, vaguely.
472
00:19:36,855 --> 00:19:38,398
It was an accident, wasn't it?
473
00:19:38,857 --> 00:19:41,401
- Cam?
- How did you fix the doorknob yet?
474
00:19:41,485 --> 00:19:43,487
-Just a minute, honey.
- Cam!
475
00:19:44,905 --> 00:19:48,117
I talked to Joe about what he saw,
476
00:19:48,200 --> 00:19:49,701
and he is not afraid anymore.
477
00:19:49,785 --> 00:19:51,328
Great, can you do the same for me?
478
00:19:51,411 --> 00:19:53,580
I'm sorry I did that to you,
but i thought
479
00:19:53,664 --> 00:19:56,416
that it's what you wanted,
for what you did to me.
480
00:19:56,500 --> 00:19:59,128
I heard you say to Rebecca
that you thought spanking would help.
481
00:19:59,294 --> 00:20:01,547
With Joe and his room.
482
00:20:01,797 --> 00:20:04,341
So it was a misunderstanding?
483
00:20:04,633 --> 00:20:05,634
Just.
484
00:20:05,717 --> 00:20:07,594
So our sex life isn't missing something?
485
00:20:07,678 --> 00:20:08,887
-No.
- Okay.
486
00:20:11,849 --> 00:20:12,933
Yes, but you know,
487
00:20:13,475 --> 00:20:17,271
that nothing is missing does not mean
that we cannot add anything to it.
488
00:20:17,354 --> 00:20:21,191
Yes, and I have a few requests.
489
00:20:21,275 --> 00:20:22,317
Like what?
490
00:20:23,819 --> 00:20:25,404
Now it feels strange to talk about it.
491
00:20:26,029 --> 00:20:27,507
Why don't we write it down
some of these things,
492
00:20:27,531 --> 00:20:29,491
puts them in the hat
and see what we draw?
493
00:20:30,492 --> 00:20:31,785
You threw it right in.
494
00:20:32,536 --> 00:20:33,954
It sounds fun.
495
00:20:34,288 --> 00:20:35,372
Don't look.
496
00:20:35,706 --> 00:20:37,666
I said I would do this one.
497
00:20:38,667 --> 00:20:39,668
Okay.
498
00:20:40,836 --> 00:20:42,254
- We'll take it upstairs.
- Okay.
499
00:20:46,592 --> 00:20:47,593
What is this?
500
00:20:47,885 --> 00:20:51,096
You know what, I think it's the hat
which Manny uses to play charades.
501
00:20:51,180 --> 00:20:52,389
What a relief, I don't think so
502
00:20:52,472 --> 00:20:54,632
that I am flexible enough
for a chiity-chitty-bang-bang.
503
00:20:58,020 --> 00:20:59,313
Are you ready for round two?
504
00:20:59,396 --> 00:21:00,522
Of course I am.
505
00:21:03,400 --> 00:21:04,610
What are you doing down there?
506
00:21:05,152 --> 00:21:06,445
It says My Left Foot.
507
00:21:06,528 --> 00:21:07,821
You have one more movie.
508
00:21:09,865 --> 00:21:11,825
God, it was amazing.
What do you call it?
509
00:21:11,909 --> 00:21:13,243
A chiity-chitty-bang-bang.
510
00:21:13,869 --> 00:21:14,995
Are you sure about this?
511
00:21:15,078 --> 00:21:16,838
Baby, don't give me a chance
to change me.
512
00:21:16,914 --> 00:21:18,165
I am Zor-El.
513
00:21:18,916 --> 00:21:20,125
Fifth level sorcerer.
514
00:21:20,500 --> 00:21:21,877
The master of the meadow.
515
00:21:22,961 --> 00:21:24,922
You can keep the beard, but don't talk.
516
00:21:30,469 --> 00:21:32,471
Translated by: Ia Andreasson