1
00:00:01,751 --> 00:00:03,953
<i>- Previously on Screen Queens...
- Boone murdered 13 people.</i>

2
00:00:04,020 --> 00:00:04,987
There were two babies.

3
00:00:05,055 --> 00:00:06,288
<i>Twins... a boy
and a girl.</i>

4
00:00:06,356 --> 00:00:08,591
<i>Your commitment to revenge</i>

5
00:00:08,658 --> 00:00:10,793
is clearly greater than your brother's was.

6
00:00:10,861 --> 00:00:12,761
I'll be going to the
Hamptons for Thanksgiving

7
00:00:12,829 --> 00:00:14,396
- with the Radwells.
- I'm pregnant!

8
00:00:25,876 --> 00:00:27,376
Hey, Chanel?

9
00:00:27,444 --> 00:00:29,311
Listen. I don't want you
to take this the wrong way,

10
00:00:29,379 --> 00:00:31,714
but I don't think I can bone you right now.

11
00:00:31,781 --> 00:00:33,315
My wanger is way stressed out.

12
00:00:33,383 --> 00:00:35,618
I got a kid on the way with
a crazy neck-braced baby mama

13
00:00:35,685 --> 00:00:37,786
who I now gotta marry and be
miserable for the rest of my life.

14
00:00:37,854 --> 00:00:39,989
You don't have to marry
that psycho cow Hester,

15
00:00:40,056 --> 00:00:41,824
because you don't have a baby on the way...

16
00:00:41,892 --> 00:00:43,959
if you know what I mean.

17
00:00:44,027 --> 00:00:45,628
No, I-I don't know what you mean.

18
00:00:45,695 --> 00:00:47,062
I have killed for love, Chad.

19
00:00:47,130 --> 00:00:48,397
I've killed for our love.

20
00:00:48,465 --> 00:00:49,498
Wh... what?

21
00:00:49,566 --> 00:00:51,267
Chad, Hester was never pregnant.

22
00:00:51,334 --> 00:00:52,601
She just said that so you'd
invite her to Thanksgiving

23
00:00:52,669 --> 00:00:53,936
with your family in the Hamptons.

24
00:00:54,004 --> 00:00:55,171
But then

25
00:00:55,238 --> 00:00:56,539
she had a little accident

26
00:00:56,606 --> 00:00:57,840
on the stairs.

27
00:00:57,908 --> 00:00:59,041
A what?

28
00:00:59,109 --> 00:01:01,010
Wait, are-are you
saying you killed Hester?

29
00:01:01,077 --> 00:01:03,012
Gravity killed Hester.

30
00:01:03,079 --> 00:01:04,513
I just gave her a little push.

31
00:01:04,581 --> 00:01:06,615
Hester can't come between us anymore, Chad.

32
00:01:06,683 --> 00:01:08,384
You and I can pick up
right where we left off.

33
00:01:08,451 --> 00:01:10,019
You can bring me home for Thanksgiving

34
00:01:10,086 --> 00:01:11,854
and introduce me to my future in-laws.

35
00:01:11,922 --> 00:01:13,722
Hold on.

36
00:01:13,790 --> 00:01:15,024
What did you do with the body?

37
00:01:15,091 --> 00:01:17,026
Duh. I put it in the meat locker.

38
00:01:17,093 --> 00:01:18,360
It's where we've been
putting all the dead bodies.

39
00:01:18,428 --> 00:01:20,963
Oh, my God.

40
00:01:22,265 --> 00:01:24,767
Chanel, that is so hot.

41
00:01:24,834 --> 00:01:26,068
I want to see it.

42
00:01:26,136 --> 00:01:27,736
I need to see the body.

43
00:01:27,804 --> 00:01:29,905
Look, we can have a three-way
with the body. What? No!

44
00:01:29,973 --> 00:01:31,907
Oh, come on, I need this!

45
00:01:31,975 --> 00:01:33,909
If you expect me to take our
relationship to the next level

46
00:01:33,977 --> 00:01:36,412
by taking you home to the
Hamptons for Thanksgiving,

47
00:01:36,479 --> 00:01:38,080
you're going to have to prove
to me you can meet my needs.

48
00:01:38,148 --> 00:01:40,449
Ugh, fine! I'll show you the body,

49
00:01:40,517 --> 00:01:42,885
but not so you can have sex with it.

50
00:01:42,953 --> 00:01:44,420
I'll show it to you

51
00:01:44,487 --> 00:01:46,055
so that you and I will
share a dangerous secret

52
00:01:46,122 --> 00:01:47,890
that will strengthen our relationship

53
00:01:47,958 --> 00:01:49,792
and bring us closer together.

54
00:01:57,000 --> 00:01:59,235
No frigging way. Where is she?

55
00:01:59,302 --> 00:02:01,036
I don't understand how
this keeps happening!

56
00:02:01,104 --> 00:02:02,705
Is this meat locker, like, a wormhole

57
00:02:02,772 --> 00:02:03,872
to an alternate universe or something?

58
00:02:03,940 --> 00:02:05,541
Okay, Chanel, you gotta relax.

59
00:02:05,609 --> 00:02:07,710
Believe me, no one's more disappointed

60
00:02:07,777 --> 00:02:09,245
that Hester's hot dead bod isn't in here.

61
00:02:09,312 --> 00:02:10,546
Listen.

62
00:02:10,614 --> 00:02:12,047
I'm not a detective or anything,

63
00:02:12,115 --> 00:02:13,716
but what if Hester was never dead

64
00:02:13,783 --> 00:02:15,050
and she just managed to escape?

65
00:02:15,118 --> 00:02:16,418
That's not possible!

66
00:02:16,486 --> 00:02:18,053
I watched her fall down the stairs!

67
00:02:18,121 --> 00:02:20,723
After she fell down the
stairs, did you check her pulse?

68
00:02:20,790 --> 00:02:23,058
No, Chad, because I'm not,
like, a registered nurse.

69
00:02:23,126 --> 00:02:24,860
Well, Chanel, it seems to me

70
00:02:24,928 --> 00:02:26,195
like you tried to kill
Hester and totally failed.

71
00:02:26,263 --> 00:02:27,596
So you should probably bring

72
00:02:27,664 --> 00:02:29,064
a security detail with you

73
00:02:29,132 --> 00:02:30,899
to the Hamptons because...
the girl's insane.

74
00:02:30,967 --> 00:02:32,468
She'll probably stop at nothing

75
00:02:32,535 --> 00:02:34,069
until she gets her
revenge by murdering you.

76
00:02:37,664 --> 00:02:40,761
Sync and corrections by wilson0804
www.Addic7ed.com

77
00:02:40,810 --> 00:02:42,745
No offense,

78
00:02:42,812 --> 00:02:45,914
but this is not how I
wanted to spend the holidays.

79
00:02:45,982 --> 00:02:47,783
I should be watching the Macy's parade

80
00:02:47,851 --> 00:02:51,787
and making decorative hand
turkeys with my boyfriend, Wes,

81
00:02:51,855 --> 00:02:54,423
instead of spending Thanksgiving all single

82
00:02:54,491 --> 00:02:57,493
and watching the dumb parade with you.

83
00:02:57,560 --> 00:03:01,030
Still, I do appreciate
you keeping me company.

84
00:03:01,097 --> 00:03:03,932
No one wants to spend

85
00:03:04,000 --> 00:03:05,934
a room service Thanksgiving alone.

86
00:03:07,737 --> 00:03:10,839
Are you going to talk at all?

87
00:03:14,411 --> 00:03:16,745
Look, I get it.

88
00:03:16,813 --> 00:03:18,747
You're bummed we had
to murder your brother.

89
00:03:18,815 --> 00:03:20,115
But honestly?

90
00:03:20,183 --> 00:03:21,917
You shouldn't be mad at me.

91
00:03:21,985 --> 00:03:23,919
Boone was out of control.

92
00:03:23,987 --> 00:03:26,188
I mean, between the three of us?

93
00:03:26,256 --> 00:03:28,624
We're the sane ones.

94
00:03:28,692 --> 00:03:31,593
He just screwed up that entire operation.

95
00:03:31,661 --> 00:03:32,928
God...

96
00:03:34,264 --> 00:03:38,000
Oh. Room service Thanksgiving.

97
00:03:38,068 --> 00:03:39,068
Yes!

98
00:03:46,309 --> 00:03:48,744
Roasted quail and a side of stuffing

99
00:03:48,812 --> 00:03:51,080
and a cranberry juice.

100
00:03:51,147 --> 00:03:54,149
Oh, I had asked for an
electric serrated carving knife.

101
00:03:54,217 --> 00:03:55,818
Just wouldn't be Thanksgiving

102
00:03:55,885 --> 00:03:57,152
without the whir of a small motor

103
00:03:57,220 --> 00:03:58,654
cutting through flesh!
Yeah.

104
00:04:01,891 --> 00:04:03,258
Here you go.
Mmm.

105
00:04:03,326 --> 00:04:04,993
Yeah.

106
00:04:08,264 --> 00:04:11,867
Now, I know you've got other plans today,

107
00:04:11,935 --> 00:04:16,038
and for alibi's sake we
need to protect your cover,

108
00:04:16,106 --> 00:04:17,206
but I am not letting you leave

109
00:04:17,273 --> 00:04:19,041
on an empty stomach.

110
00:04:19,109 --> 00:04:21,076
I hope you're hungry, because I ordered

111
00:04:21,144 --> 00:04:23,045
the closest thing the menu had

112
00:04:23,113 --> 00:04:26,215
to a traditional Thanksgiving dinner.

113
00:04:29,419 --> 00:04:30,853
Is that what quail is?

114
00:04:30,920 --> 00:04:33,188
I thought they were bigger.

115
00:04:33,256 --> 00:04:35,023
Oh!

116
00:04:35,091 --> 00:04:37,025
Nope.

117
00:04:37,093 --> 00:04:39,194
You know what I was picturing? Pheasant.

118
00:04:39,262 --> 00:04:40,529
Yeah.

119
00:04:40,597 --> 00:04:41,597
All right, little birdie!

120
00:04:41,664 --> 00:04:44,933
Time to slice off those breasts.

121
00:04:47,537 --> 00:04:49,104
Real quick:

122
00:04:49,172 --> 00:04:52,107
I just wanted to thank you
for spending this hour with me.

123
00:04:52,175 --> 00:04:54,910
I feel like this holiday is

124
00:04:54,978 --> 00:04:56,745
all about family,

125
00:04:56,813 --> 00:04:58,480
and, well, as you know,

126
00:04:58,548 --> 00:05:01,884
I gave up on my real
family a long time ago.

127
00:05:01,951 --> 00:05:03,685
I mean, at this point,

128
00:05:03,753 --> 00:05:05,854
the closest thing I have to family is...

129
00:05:05,922 --> 00:05:07,756
you.

130
00:05:10,059 --> 00:05:13,495
So...

131
00:05:13,563 --> 00:05:15,497
how about you do the honors?

132
00:05:29,512 --> 00:05:32,448
♪

133
00:05:38,955 --> 00:05:40,923
<i>I understand that Thanksgiving</i>

134
00:05:40,990 --> 00:05:42,891
<i>is supposed to be about
family and being together</i>

135
00:05:42,959 --> 00:05:44,893
<i>and thanking God that we
were born rich in America</i>

136
00:05:44,961 --> 00:05:46,495
<i>and not in Uganda or Venezuela</i>

137
00:05:46,563 --> 00:05:48,230
<i>or any of those other African countries.</i>

138
00:05:48,298 --> 00:05:50,866
<i>But modern Thanksgiving, at
least in the Swenson family,</i>

139
00:05:50,934 --> 00:05:52,968
<i>is basically a Tinder date.</i>

140
00:05:53,036 --> 00:05:55,204
<i>It looks so good at first.</i>

141
00:05:55,271 --> 00:05:57,606
<i>Inviting,</i>

142
00:05:57,674 --> 00:05:59,541
<i>the possibility of a real connection,</i>

143
00:05:59,609 --> 00:06:01,877
<i>but when you actually arrive
at Swenson Thanksgiving's door,</i>

144
00:06:01,945 --> 00:06:03,912
<i>the whole thing is just fat</i>

145
00:06:03,980 --> 00:06:06,915
<i>and upsetting and disappointing.</i>

146
00:06:06,983 --> 00:06:08,650
<i>But since you came all this way,</i>

147
00:06:08,718 --> 00:06:10,219
<i>you figure you might as
well go through with it,</i>

148
00:06:10,286 --> 00:06:11,753
<i>even though you know when you're done,</i>

149
00:06:11,821 --> 00:06:12,888
<i>you're probably going to hate yourself.</i>

150
00:06:14,224 --> 00:06:16,425
Hello!

151
00:06:16,493 --> 00:06:17,993
Hi, sweetheart!

152
00:06:18,061 --> 00:06:20,829
How you doing?

153
00:06:20,897 --> 00:06:22,998
The whole serial killer thing is really...
Listen.

154
00:06:23,066 --> 00:06:26,869
Your "dad" started in
drinking early this morning,

155
00:06:26,936 --> 00:06:28,036
when he found out that Jay Cutler's

156
00:06:28,104 --> 00:06:29,938
starting for the Bears today.

157
00:06:30,006 --> 00:06:32,040
So try not to make eye contact.

158
00:06:32,108 --> 00:06:33,775
We don't want another

159
00:06:33,843 --> 00:06:36,345
Thanksgiving 2008 incident again.

160
00:06:36,412 --> 00:06:38,347
Freddy was the one who went
and got Grandpa's old pistols

161
00:06:38,414 --> 00:06:40,382
and challenged me to a duel.
I know, darling.

162
00:06:40,450 --> 00:06:41,617
But your father loves your brother

163
00:06:41,684 --> 00:06:42,851
much more than he loves you,

164
00:06:42,919 --> 00:06:43,852
so if we are gonna keep the peace,

165
00:06:43,920 --> 00:06:45,187
you're just gonna have

166
00:06:45,255 --> 00:06:46,722
to take the blame for everything.

167
00:06:46,789 --> 00:06:49,191
Now, come on, we're
just sitting down to eat.

168
00:06:49,259 --> 00:06:51,026
Look who's here!

169
00:06:58,234 --> 00:07:00,435
You're late. The game's
just about to start.

170
00:07:00,503 --> 00:07:03,038
And now, you get to sit in
the back row with the help!

171
00:07:03,106 --> 00:07:06,174
Screw you, Freddy. Daddy,
I want to sit with you.

172
00:07:06,242 --> 00:07:07,843
We haven't seen each other in months.

173
00:07:07,911 --> 00:07:10,212
On every box of Swenson Frozen Food

174
00:07:10,280 --> 00:07:12,014
is a set of instructions.

175
00:07:12,081 --> 00:07:14,216
It says how long you need to microwave

176
00:07:14,284 --> 00:07:16,485
the Mega-Cheesy Mac
and Cheese Hearty Dinner

177
00:07:16,553 --> 00:07:19,187
and the Italian Style Chicken Cacciatore.

178
00:07:19,255 --> 00:07:20,856
What do you think would happen

179
00:07:20,924 --> 00:07:22,357
if those instructions were incorrect?

180
00:07:22,425 --> 00:07:23,392
The damn food

181
00:07:23,459 --> 00:07:25,227
would either still be frozen

182
00:07:25,295 --> 00:07:27,195
or completely overcooked.

183
00:07:27,263 --> 00:07:28,564
This family's fortune

184
00:07:28,631 --> 00:07:30,832
is built on being right on time.

185
00:07:30,900 --> 00:07:33,201
You're late!

186
00:07:33,269 --> 00:07:35,404
Sit your ass in the back with... Margarita.

187
00:07:35,471 --> 00:07:38,040
♪

188
00:07:40,343 --> 00:07:42,110
three of their last four

189
00:07:42,178 --> 00:07:45,113
and could really use a
good save for Thanksgiving,

190
00:07:45,181 --> 00:07:47,115
which is all about family,
friendship and football.

191
00:07:47,183 --> 00:07:49,117
The three Fs of November.

192
00:07:49,185 --> 00:07:51,053
I couldn't agree more.

193
00:07:51,120 --> 00:07:53,555
There's nothing better than
sitting together as a family,

194
00:07:53,623 --> 00:07:55,023
watching the game.

195
00:07:55,091 --> 00:07:56,391
Laughing, smiling,

196
00:07:56,459 --> 00:07:58,093
just enjoying the warmth
of each other's company.

197
00:07:58,161 --> 00:07:59,962
That's what it's all about today.

198
00:08:00,029 --> 00:08:01,663
Togetherness.

199
00:08:01,731 --> 00:08:03,966
Super, Brian.
Family and togetherness.

200
00:08:04,033 --> 00:08:06,001
Speaking of togetherness,
it's still not coming together...

201
00:08:06,069 --> 00:08:08,003
I'm leaving!

202
00:08:08,071 --> 00:08:10,005
Honey!

203
00:08:10,073 --> 00:08:11,740
But you didn't even touch your peas

204
00:08:11,808 --> 00:08:13,041
or your tiny carrot squares.

205
00:08:13,109 --> 00:08:14,343
Do you want me to defrost

206
00:08:14,410 --> 00:08:16,912
some lasagna or Salisbury steak?

207
00:08:16,980 --> 00:08:18,347
I don't want you to defrost anything.

208
00:08:18,414 --> 00:08:20,515
I hate defrosted food.

209
00:08:20,583 --> 00:08:24,886
Why is it called Italian
Style Chicken Cacciatore?

210
00:08:24,954 --> 00:08:27,356
All chicken cacciatore is Italian style.

211
00:08:28,825 --> 00:08:30,926
This is not what Thanksgiving
is supposed to be.

212
00:08:30,994 --> 00:08:32,361
Thanksgiving
is about tradition.

213
00:08:32,428 --> 00:08:34,196
This is the Swenson tradition.

214
00:08:34,263 --> 00:08:35,464
That doesn't bother any of you?

215
00:08:35,531 --> 00:08:37,466
That our family tradition demands TV trays?

216
00:08:37,533 --> 00:08:39,901
There is a killer on the
loose in my sorority house.

217
00:08:39,969 --> 00:08:41,336
A bunch of my sort-of
friends have been killed

218
00:08:41,404 --> 00:08:42,738
and no one has asked me about it.

219
00:08:42,805 --> 00:08:43,839
I-I've had it.

220
00:08:43,906 --> 00:08:45,607
I'm out, people.

221
00:08:46,809 --> 00:08:48,010
Oh. And I'm starting

222
00:08:48,077 --> 00:08:49,344
a new family tradition.

223
00:08:49,412 --> 00:08:50,946
It involves me never coming

224
00:08:51,014 --> 00:08:52,948
to any family occasions ever again.

225
00:08:53,016 --> 00:08:55,917
Honey, where are you going?

226
00:08:57,920 --> 00:09:00,355
Home.

227
00:09:38,428 --> 00:09:39,995
Oh, my God.

228
00:09:40,063 --> 00:09:43,598
Would you stop with the screaming?

229
00:09:45,935 --> 00:09:47,469
What are you doing here?

230
00:09:47,537 --> 00:09:49,037
I came to slaughter old Tiburon.

231
00:09:49,105 --> 00:09:51,306
Wait, isn't that the turkey you
pardoned on the quad yesterday?

232
00:09:51,374 --> 00:09:52,874
Yes. Good old Tiburon.

233
00:09:52,942 --> 00:09:54,710
You don't think we would actually

234
00:09:54,777 --> 00:09:56,078
pardon a turkey, do you?

235
00:09:56,145 --> 00:09:57,813
It's more like a stay of execution

236
00:09:57,880 --> 00:09:59,581
until no one is looking.

237
00:09:59,649 --> 00:10:01,349
But why here?

238
00:10:01,417 --> 00:10:03,852
Ah. Well, I was disinvited

239
00:10:03,920 --> 00:10:06,388
to Thanksgiving at my in-laws'

240
00:10:06,456 --> 00:10:08,757
because they still think
that I killed their son,

241
00:10:08,825 --> 00:10:10,358
my jerk-off
ex-husband,

242
00:10:10,426 --> 00:10:12,027
so I'm kind of on my own.

243
00:10:12,095 --> 00:10:13,261
Plus, you girls have

244
00:10:13,329 --> 00:10:14,863
the best cooking facilities on campus,

245
00:10:14,931 --> 00:10:16,565
although it doesn't look
like you ever use them.

246
00:10:16,632 --> 00:10:17,866
<i>Why are you here?</i>

247
00:10:17,934 --> 00:10:20,068
My family Thanksgiving
sucked, so I came here.

248
00:10:20,136 --> 00:10:21,737
Mmm.
Hey...

249
00:10:21,804 --> 00:10:24,272
since you already have a turkey,
why don't we just cook here?

250
00:10:24,340 --> 00:10:26,241
I've never cooked before,
but that should be fine,

251
00:10:26,309 --> 00:10:27,743
since I usually just pretend to eat.

252
00:10:27,810 --> 00:10:30,479
Well, I can cook and eat

253
00:10:30,546 --> 00:10:32,614
for the both of us.

254
00:10:32,682 --> 00:10:36,241
- But I demand that after we eat, we play charades.
- Deal.

255
00:10:53,489 --> 00:10:54,756
Hi, Dad.

256
00:10:54,824 --> 00:10:56,324
Hey, where are you?

257
00:10:56,392 --> 00:10:57,659
You promised me you'd at least come by here

258
00:10:57,726 --> 00:10:59,027
before you flew to Oakland with Zayday.

259
00:10:59,095 --> 00:11:00,862
Yeah, we decided not to go.

260
00:11:00,930 --> 00:11:02,330
You're in town? Where are you?

261
00:11:02,398 --> 00:11:03,665
We're at Kappa.

262
00:11:03,732 --> 00:11:05,166
We felt weird leaving the house all alone.

263
00:11:05,234 --> 00:11:08,169
Besides, Dean Munsch
and Chanel

264
00:11:08,237 --> 00:11:09,838
So we've decided to have
an orphans Thanksgiving

265
00:11:09,905 --> 00:11:10,839
all together.

266
00:11:10,906 --> 00:11:12,407
But you're not an orphan.

267
00:11:12,475 --> 00:11:14,075
Your dad is ten minutes away.

268
00:11:14,143 --> 00:11:15,410
Thanksgiving?

269
00:11:15,478 --> 00:11:18,179
Honey, it's kind of like our cranberry jam.

270
00:11:18,247 --> 00:11:19,547
Where's Gigi?

271
00:11:19,615 --> 00:11:21,649
I don't know.

272
00:11:21,717 --> 00:11:23,651
She just didn't show up.

273
00:11:23,719 --> 00:11:25,820
Oh, no, no, Number Three.

274
00:11:25,888 --> 00:11:28,156
You pull the feathers the
way they lay on the bird.

275
00:11:28,224 --> 00:11:30,492
And don't pull too many
or you'll tear the skin.

276
00:11:30,559 --> 00:11:33,895
I mean, I guess you could come over here

277
00:11:33,963 --> 00:11:35,230
if you wanted.

278
00:11:35,297 --> 00:11:38,166
Okay, um, only if it's okay with you.

279
00:11:38,234 --> 00:11:39,400
Yeah, I mean, it's fine.

280
00:11:39,468 --> 00:11:40,835
I'll see you soon.

281
00:11:40,903 --> 00:11:42,670
Yes, I'll see you.

282
00:11:47,243 --> 00:11:50,345
Welcome, everyone.

283
00:11:50,412 --> 00:11:51,679
It is so nice you could all make it home

284
00:11:51,747 --> 00:11:54,349
for another Radwell family Thanksgiving.

285
00:11:54,416 --> 00:11:57,051
We have a newcomer this year.

286
00:11:57,119 --> 00:11:59,554
So, let's all give a round

287
00:11:59,622 --> 00:12:01,623
of tolerant Radwell applause

288
00:12:01,690 --> 00:12:03,625
to our newcomer

289
00:12:03,692 --> 00:12:07,061
Chanel... Oberlin.

290
00:12:09,198 --> 00:12:12,400
Yes, welcome, Chanel.

291
00:12:12,468 --> 00:12:14,669
Chad hasn't mentioned you... ever.

292
00:12:14,737 --> 00:12:17,839
Before we, uh, dig into
this delicious feast

293
00:12:17,907 --> 00:12:21,009
that Mrs. Radwell has
spent all day overseeing,

294
00:12:21,076 --> 00:12:23,077
let us honor the timeworn,

295
00:12:23,145 --> 00:12:25,246
age-old Radwell tradition

296
00:12:25,314 --> 00:12:27,315
of standing up, stating our names

297
00:12:27,383 --> 00:12:30,285
and saying what we're
thankful for this year.

298
00:12:30,352 --> 00:12:33,288
I'm Tad Radwell and I am thankful

299
00:12:33,355 --> 00:12:35,290
that the turmoil in the Fertile Crescent

300
00:12:35,357 --> 00:12:38,059
has not impacted this family's wealth.

301
00:12:41,297 --> 00:12:44,165
I am Bunny Radwell

302
00:12:44,233 --> 00:12:46,501
and I'm thankful that
the Radwell family name

303
00:12:46,569 --> 00:12:48,670
continues to be one of
the oldest bloodlines

304
00:12:48,737 --> 00:12:50,672
in America.

305
00:12:51,807 --> 00:12:52,840
Who exactly

306
00:12:52,908 --> 00:12:55,343
are the Oberlins, Chanel?

307
00:12:55,411 --> 00:12:58,613
Mrs. Radwell, I am happy to
report that the Oberlin family

308
00:12:58,681 --> 00:13:01,816
is a well-established American dynasty.

309
00:13:01,884 --> 00:13:04,219
A little known fact
is that my great-great-

310
00:13:04,286 --> 00:13:06,521
great-great grandfather
Ichabod Oberlin actually

311
00:13:06,589 --> 00:13:09,190
signed the Declaration of Independence.

312
00:13:09,258 --> 00:13:11,159
It's only "little known" because he was

313
00:13:11,227 --> 00:13:12,560
the last one to sign it,
so there was no more room

314
00:13:12,628 --> 00:13:14,329
for him to put his name on the front,

315
00:13:14,396 --> 00:13:16,664
so he had to flip it over
and put his name on the back.

316
00:13:16,732 --> 00:13:19,734
<i>Oh, also the Oberlins
came over on the Mayflower.</i>

317
00:13:19,802 --> 00:13:21,369
Oh, well,

318
00:13:21,437 --> 00:13:23,972
the Radwells came over on a ship

319
00:13:24,039 --> 00:13:26,341
<i>that arrived 30 years before the Mayflower.</i>

320
00:13:26,408 --> 00:13:28,643
So...

321
00:13:28,711 --> 00:13:32,013
I'm Thad Radwell.

322
00:13:32,081 --> 00:13:34,682
And this year I'm so thankful for the lax

323
00:13:34,750 --> 00:13:36,584
indecency laws in Eastern Europe

324
00:13:36,652 --> 00:13:40,188
that inundate our Internet
with millions of hours

325
00:13:40,256 --> 00:13:43,358
of hard-core porn.

326
00:13:43,425 --> 00:13:45,860
Which helps to just generally raise the bar

327
00:13:45,928 --> 00:13:47,528
on the stuff that chicks
feel like they have to do now.

328
00:13:47,596 --> 00:13:49,364
I mean, am I right?

329
00:13:51,333 --> 00:13:53,201
Come on, let's go, Blue!

330
00:13:54,270 --> 00:13:56,471
Hello.

331
00:13:56,538 --> 00:13:58,840
I'm Muffy St. Pierre-Radwell.

332
00:13:58,907 --> 00:14:01,809
And I am so, so thankful

333
00:14:01,877 --> 00:14:04,245
for my husband Brad.

334
00:14:04,313 --> 00:14:06,147
And also that I'm starting
my very own new clothing line,

335
00:14:06,215 --> 00:14:07,749
and it's gonna be so... Hey, everyone.

336
00:14:07,816 --> 00:14:09,951
I'm Brad Radwell.

337
00:14:10,019 --> 00:14:11,452
And for the third year in a row,

338
00:14:11,520 --> 00:14:12,787
I am thankful that I work

339
00:14:12,855 --> 00:14:15,023
at L.A.'s hottest talent agency,

340
00:14:15,090 --> 00:14:17,292
Accentuated Artists, huh?

341
00:14:17,359 --> 00:14:19,294
Up high...
Boom! - Boom!

342
00:14:19,361 --> 00:14:21,029
You know, ever since I was a little boy,

343
00:14:21,096 --> 00:14:23,298
I knew what God wanted me
to do and that was make money

344
00:14:23,365 --> 00:14:25,800
off the backs of creative people.

345
00:14:29,371 --> 00:14:31,572
Hello, I'm Chad Radwell.

346
00:14:31,640 --> 00:14:32,807
This year I'm thankful

347
00:14:32,875 --> 00:14:34,242
for someone

348
00:14:34,310 --> 00:14:36,244
who's very special to me.

349
00:14:36,312 --> 00:14:40,148
Without this person, I wouldn't
be the man I am right now.

350
00:14:40,215 --> 00:14:43,017
In fact, I wouldn't be here at all.

351
00:14:43,085 --> 00:14:45,820
I am, of course, referring
to the serial killer

352
00:14:45,888 --> 00:14:48,189
who's stalking the campus
of Wallace University.

353
00:14:48,257 --> 00:14:50,491
I am so thankful that
he, for whatever reason,

354
00:14:50,559 --> 00:14:51,993
has not murdered me yet.

355
00:14:52,061 --> 00:14:54,495
I am so, so grateful.

356
00:14:56,365 --> 00:14:57,932
I'm also thankful to that serial killer

357
00:14:58,000 --> 00:15:00,601
for not killing you, Chad.

358
00:15:00,669 --> 00:15:04,105
And that you will have
a long, long, long life.

359
00:15:04,173 --> 00:15:07,108
You have such a vast future ahead of you.

360
00:15:07,176 --> 00:15:09,610
You'll meet so many
new and different women.

361
00:15:09,678 --> 00:15:12,313
So many wonderful women to go out with

362
00:15:12,381 --> 00:15:15,149
and break up with

363
00:15:15,217 --> 00:15:16,517
and move on from.

364
00:15:16,585 --> 00:15:18,486
You should be thankful that this table is

365
00:15:18,554 --> 00:15:21,189
too long for me to reach
across and strangle you, bitch!

366
00:15:21,256 --> 00:15:23,091
Excuse me,

367
00:15:23,158 --> 00:15:24,525
but another guest has arrived.

368
00:15:24,593 --> 00:15:27,128
A lady by the name of... Hester.

369
00:15:27,196 --> 00:15:29,530
Oh, God, no, no, no, no!

370
00:15:30,866 --> 00:15:32,700
Happy Thanksgiving, Radwells.

371
00:15:32,768 --> 00:15:34,302
I'm sorry I'm late.

372
00:15:34,370 --> 00:15:35,136
Oh, God.

373
00:15:35,204 --> 00:15:36,637
What did I miss?

374
00:15:39,145 --> 00:15:40,935
I hope I haven't kept you waiting.

375
00:15:40,991 --> 00:15:44,372
- I'm famished.
- I beg your pardon.

376
00:15:44,440 --> 00:15:45,907
But who are you?

377
00:15:45,975 --> 00:15:47,542
Uh, she is

378
00:15:47,610 --> 00:15:49,177
my-my sober coach.

379
00:15:49,245 --> 00:15:50,745
What?

380
00:15:50,813 --> 00:15:52,514
Chad, I didn't know you
had a drinking problem.

381
00:15:52,581 --> 00:15:53,948
Neither did I.

382
00:15:54,016 --> 00:15:56,017
That is how insidious alcoholism is, Dad.

383
00:15:57,053 --> 00:15:58,019
That's true.

384
00:15:58,087 --> 00:15:59,521
Let me help you put this on your lap.

385
00:15:59,588 --> 00:16:02,157
What are you doing here? How are you alive?

386
00:16:02,224 --> 00:16:03,958
Good thing I was wearing this
neck brace when you pushed me

387
00:16:04,026 --> 00:16:05,794
down the stairs, because it saved my life.

388
00:16:05,861 --> 00:16:07,595
And laying me on the
ground in the meat locker

389
00:16:07,663 --> 00:16:09,097
was the perfect thing to do.

390
00:16:09,165 --> 00:16:10,765
The hard slab of the cold steel

391
00:16:10,833 --> 00:16:12,333
curbed the swelling in my spinal column.

392
00:16:12,401 --> 00:16:13,968
When I woke up and regained consciousness,

393
00:16:14,036 --> 00:16:15,804
I felt better than ever.

394
00:16:15,871 --> 00:16:17,138
Really, I should be thanking you right now.

395
00:16:17,206 --> 00:16:18,773
That fall?

396
00:16:18,841 --> 00:16:20,308
It might have cured me
of my severe scoliosis.

397
00:16:20,376 --> 00:16:22,877
Dinner is served.

398
00:16:22,945 --> 00:16:25,480
Radwells?

399
00:16:25,548 --> 00:16:27,215
I have an announcement to make.

400
00:16:27,283 --> 00:16:30,351
This is a blessed occasion.

401
00:16:30,419 --> 00:16:32,687
Because I am carrying

402
00:16:32,755 --> 00:16:35,223
a little bit of each one of you

403
00:16:35,291 --> 00:16:37,492
inside of me.

404
00:16:37,560 --> 00:16:40,361
I have a little Radwell

405
00:16:40,429 --> 00:16:41,663
inside of me.

406
00:16:41,731 --> 00:16:44,332
I'm having Chad's baby!

407
00:16:45,935 --> 00:16:47,769
- We're so happy.
- That's a lie!

408
00:16:47,837 --> 00:16:50,438
I saw her eat sushi, soft cheese and booze!

409
00:16:50,506 --> 00:16:52,474
Enough!

410
00:16:52,541 --> 00:16:55,977
Chad, I have never been so ashamed!

411
00:16:56,045 --> 00:16:58,913
You have besmirched the
Radwell family Thanksgiving

412
00:16:58,981 --> 00:17:01,816
by bringing home not one

413
00:17:01,884 --> 00:17:04,819
<i>but two gold-digging hoochies!</i>

414
00:17:04,887 --> 00:17:06,087
I'm sorry, but maybe you didn't hear me.

415
00:17:06,155 --> 00:17:08,857
I'm carrying your future grandchild!

416
00:17:08,924 --> 00:17:11,426
You listen to me, you swarthy little runt.

417
00:17:11,494 --> 00:17:13,094
We have an entire legal team

418
00:17:13,162 --> 00:17:14,929
at Bender, Bender and Stanwyk on retainer

419
00:17:14,997 --> 00:17:17,098
just to make spurious paternity claims

420
00:17:17,166 --> 00:17:20,835
like yours simply go away.

421
00:17:20,903 --> 00:17:22,871
But I'm carrying your son's seed.

422
00:17:22,938 --> 00:17:24,539
The only thing you're
carrying is water weight,

423
00:17:24,607 --> 00:17:27,375
you bloated little tramp.

424
00:17:27,443 --> 00:17:29,210
That's not a baby bump.

425
00:17:29,278 --> 00:17:31,112
That's a poo belly.

426
00:17:31,180 --> 00:17:33,114
<i>Poo belly, poo belly,</i>

427
00:17:33,182 --> 00:17:35,450
<i>poo belly, poo belly...</i>

428
00:17:35,518 --> 00:17:36,818
Now,

429
00:17:36,886 --> 00:17:38,119
would someone please

430
00:17:38,187 --> 00:17:40,455
pass me the stuffing?

431
00:17:42,191 --> 00:17:44,793
Wow, who knew it took
so long to cook a turkey?

432
00:17:44,860 --> 00:17:47,629
All right, ladies, Weston,
let's head into the dining room,

433
00:17:47,696 --> 00:17:50,799
where we fill up on Peking
ravioli and charcuterie.

434
00:17:50,866 --> 00:17:52,967
I have a little game to play

435
00:17:53,035 --> 00:17:55,003
that's gonna make the time fly right by.

436
00:17:55,070 --> 00:17:56,938
Hmm.

437
00:17:57,006 --> 00:17:59,474
Yes, it's simple.

438
00:17:59,542 --> 00:18:01,810
We're gonna go around,
and each of us is gonna

439
00:18:01,877 --> 00:18:05,313
make our case as to who we
think the Red Devil Killer is.

440
00:18:05,381 --> 00:18:06,815
I'll go first.

441
00:18:06,882 --> 00:18:08,783
I think we can all agree that

442
00:18:08,851 --> 00:18:10,084
one of the Red Devil Killers is Boone.

443
00:18:10,152 --> 00:18:11,586
I propose

444
00:18:11,654 --> 00:18:15,456
that the other Red Devil Killer is...

445
00:18:15,524 --> 00:18:16,958
Chanel

446
00:18:17,026 --> 00:18:18,092
What?

447
00:18:18,160 --> 00:18:20,094
No, I've never killed anyone

448
00:18:20,162 --> 00:18:21,429
as far as I know.

449
00:18:21,497 --> 00:18:24,933
But your real daddy has, Baby Manson.

450
00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:26,935
Okay, there is no evidence at all

451
00:18:27,002 --> 00:18:29,470
that mass murder is genetic. Wait, her dad

452
00:18:29,538 --> 00:18:31,606
is Charles Manson...
How do I not know this?

453
00:18:31,674 --> 00:18:33,041
I'm not saying it's anything more

454
00:18:33,108 --> 00:18:34,976
than pepper in the soup,

455
00:18:35,044 --> 00:18:37,979
seasoning for a big fat dish

456
00:18:38,047 --> 00:18:40,648
of well-cooked evidence. Such as?

457
00:18:40,716 --> 00:18:43,484
Item one... the chain
saw attack at Kappa.

458
00:18:48,123 --> 00:18:50,625
<i>I was probably the last one to wake up</i>

459
00:18:50,693 --> 00:18:54,062
and come downstairs that night.

460
00:18:54,129 --> 00:18:56,397
<i>I saw Chanel

461
00:18:56,465 --> 00:18:57,932
<i>running up the back stairway,</i>

462
00:18:58,000 --> 00:18:59,801
<i>face glowing with perspiration,</i>

463
00:18:59,869 --> 00:19:02,904
<i>trying to sneak into her room undetected.</i>

464
00:19:02,972 --> 00:19:06,341
I would say that is more
than a little suspicious.

465
00:19:06,408 --> 00:19:07,942
I have bathroom shame issues.

466
00:19:08,010 --> 00:19:10,645
I always wait until everyone
is asleep and then I sneak

467
00:19:10,713 --> 00:19:12,647
down to poop in the little
powder room downstairs.

468
00:19:12,715 --> 00:19:14,849
That way, no one will disturb me.

469
00:19:14,917 --> 00:19:16,451
I usually wait a week
or so between movements,

470
00:19:16,518 --> 00:19:19,020
so it can be kind of an
intense workout... I sweat a lot.

471
00:19:19,088 --> 00:19:20,021
Yeah, right.

472
00:19:20,089 --> 00:19:21,456
Um, okay, even still,

473
00:19:21,523 --> 00:19:22,824
how could she possibly be

474
00:19:22,892 --> 00:19:24,025
Charles Manson's daughter

475
00:19:24,093 --> 00:19:26,127
and one of the babies in the bathtub?

476
00:19:26,195 --> 00:19:28,029
I mean, don't we all agree that
those babies are the killers?

477
00:19:28,097 --> 00:19:29,464
Do we even have any evidence

478
00:19:29,531 --> 00:19:32,333
that this Manson story is true?

479
00:19:32,401 --> 00:19:35,904
How do we know she didn't just invent it

480
00:19:35,971 --> 00:19:39,407
just so we wouldn't
think she was the killer?

481
00:19:40,676 --> 00:19:42,677
Goose.

482
00:19:42,745 --> 00:19:45,046
That seems like an unnecessarily
complicated cover story.

483
00:19:45,114 --> 00:19:48,016
Yes, but aren't those the best kind?

484
00:19:48,083 --> 00:19:50,952
I think we have plenty here

485
00:19:51,020 --> 00:19:52,287
to go to the police.

486
00:19:52,354 --> 00:19:54,722
Let's see how innocent Chanel

487
00:19:54,790 --> 00:19:56,190
when they start to dig a little.

488
00:19:56,258 --> 00:19:57,125
Hold the phone, Dean Munsch.

489
00:19:57,192 --> 00:19:59,027
I'd like to play, too.

490
00:19:59,094 --> 00:20:00,395
And the person I think it is

491
00:20:00,462 --> 00:20:02,130
is you.

492
00:20:04,366 --> 00:20:06,034
<i>Hello, Mother, it's me.</i>

493
00:20:06,101 --> 00:20:07,802
Chanel Oberlin!

494
00:20:07,870 --> 00:20:09,304
Your daughter?

495
00:20:09,371 --> 00:20:10,872
What, are you drunk?

496
00:20:10,940 --> 00:20:14,742
Okay, drunk on wine is still drunk, Mother.

497
00:20:14,810 --> 00:20:17,011
You know what, never mind.

498
00:20:17,079 --> 00:20:19,847
You know, the one time I
call you for a little advice,

499
00:20:19,915 --> 00:20:23,084
you're hammered.

500
00:20:23,152 --> 00:20:25,320
Happy Thanksgiving, Mom.

501
00:20:31,093 --> 00:20:34,862
I suppose we should discuss
the matter of payment.

502
00:20:34,930 --> 00:20:35,997
What are you talking about?

503
00:20:36,065 --> 00:20:38,433
I'm asking you to name your price.

504
00:20:38,500 --> 00:20:39,834
My price?

505
00:20:39,902 --> 00:20:42,003
Are you propositioning me?

506
00:20:42,071 --> 00:20:44,205
No, I'm asking how much money it'll take

507
00:20:44,273 --> 00:20:46,574
to make you go away.

508
00:20:46,642 --> 00:20:47,976
You seem to be unaware, sir,

509
00:20:48,043 --> 00:20:49,711
that an Oberlin cannot be bought.

510
00:20:49,778 --> 00:20:51,713
My family is super-gross rich.

511
00:20:53,282 --> 00:20:54,782
Look at how you've chosen to dress.

512
00:20:54,850 --> 00:20:57,118
That outfit screams desperation.

513
00:20:59,188 --> 00:21:00,788
You're trash, Chanel.

514
00:21:00,856 --> 00:21:02,957
Which means your family's trash, too.

515
00:21:03,025 --> 00:21:05,460
And I'll tell you one thing
right now, you will never

516
00:21:05,527 --> 00:21:07,495
get your hands on the Radwell fortune.

517
00:21:07,563 --> 00:21:09,464
I am, however,

518
00:21:09,531 --> 00:21:11,299
willing to write you a check

519
00:21:11,367 --> 00:21:13,668
for $50,000

520
00:21:13,736 --> 00:21:16,137
if you will leave now and never come back.

521
00:21:17,940 --> 00:21:19,140
It's a lot of money
for a family like yours.

522
00:21:19,208 --> 00:21:21,009
They could use it to
buy another Olive Garden

523
00:21:21,076 --> 00:21:23,511
or whatever it is they do.

524
00:21:28,751 --> 00:21:31,519
Oh, let me ask you a question.

525
00:21:31,587 --> 00:21:34,188
What is the best part about Thanksgiving?

526
00:21:34,256 --> 00:21:35,857
The leftovers.

527
00:21:35,924 --> 00:21:37,558
What do you do if you can't
wait till the next morning

528
00:21:37,626 --> 00:21:39,160
to eat those leftovers?

529
00:21:39,228 --> 00:21:41,662
You turn those leftovers into dessert.

530
00:21:41,730 --> 00:21:44,399
What about the pumpkin pie?

531
00:21:44,466 --> 00:21:48,069
Uh, okay, once you've had Savory
Leftover Aspic à la Radwell,

532
00:21:48,137 --> 00:21:51,005
you'll never want pumpkin pie ever again.

533
00:21:51,073 --> 00:21:54,475
Tastes like Henry VIII
just barfed in my mouth.

534
00:21:54,543 --> 00:21:55,476
Chad!

535
00:21:55,544 --> 00:21:56,644
Your father

536
00:21:56,712 --> 00:21:58,146
just offered me $50,000

537
00:21:58,213 --> 00:21:59,380
to leave the house and never come back.

538
00:21:59,448 --> 00:22:01,649
Well, I don't want to
sound like a dick here,

539
00:22:01,717 --> 00:22:04,185
but have you ever considered
maybe you should leave?

540
00:22:04,253 --> 00:22:06,220
I mean, with you and Hester
here, this Thanksgiving,

541
00:22:06,288 --> 00:22:08,022
it's spiraling out of control.

542
00:22:08,090 --> 00:22:09,490
And later tonight, we're
about to get together

543
00:22:09,558 --> 00:22:11,025
and play Pictionary, and as it stands now,

544
00:22:11,093 --> 00:22:12,894
that game of Pictionary
is gonna be super awkward.

545
00:22:12,961 --> 00:22:14,395
You can't be serious.

546
00:22:14,463 --> 00:22:16,564
I am serious, Chanel, and uberconfused.

547
00:22:16,632 --> 00:22:17,999
Hester here, who is super weird

548
00:22:18,067 --> 00:22:19,767
and an obvious psychopath,

549
00:22:19,835 --> 00:22:20,935
she says she's pregnant.

550
00:22:21,003 --> 00:22:22,103
You said she's not pregnant.

551
00:22:22,171 --> 00:22:23,204
You said she was dead,

552
00:22:23,272 --> 00:22:24,605
she says she's not dead.

553
00:22:24,673 --> 00:22:25,940
I'm kind of inclined to believe her.

554
00:22:26,008 --> 00:22:27,475
Plus, are you gonna make, like, a habit

555
00:22:27,543 --> 00:22:29,077
of just, like, pushing
people down the stairs?

556
00:22:29,144 --> 00:22:30,578
'Cause I think we can agree,

557
00:22:30,646 --> 00:22:33,214
not the most adult form of
conflict resolution, Chanel.

558
00:22:34,383 --> 00:22:35,583
Ladies and gentlemen,

559
00:22:35,651 --> 00:22:37,819
dessert is served.

560
00:22:37,886 --> 00:22:38,986
Oh.

561
00:22:39,054 --> 00:22:40,655
Mom, Dad!

562
00:22:40,722 --> 00:22:42,223
Thad, Brad!

563
00:22:42,291 --> 00:22:44,659
I'm trying to get my aspic on!

564
00:22:45,894 --> 00:22:48,429
Now that I have my snacks,

565
00:22:48,497 --> 00:22:50,665
you may begin with your
clearly desperate attempt

566
00:22:50,732 --> 00:22:52,433
to prove I'm a killer.

567
00:22:52,501 --> 00:22:54,102
Oh, wait.

568
00:22:54,169 --> 00:22:57,271
Weston, would you mind opening
a bottle of red for mama?

569
00:22:58,740 --> 00:23:00,074
Hey, all!

570
00:23:00,142 --> 00:23:02,210
I brought some of my famous

571
00:23:02,277 --> 00:23:03,945
eight-meat stuffing.

572
00:23:04,012 --> 00:23:06,481
It's beef, venison,
alligator, buffalo, rabbit,

573
00:23:06,548 --> 00:23:08,783
goat, rattlesnake and Spam.

574
00:23:08,851 --> 00:23:09,951
I cut all of the meats

575
00:23:10,018 --> 00:23:11,119
super thin,

576
00:23:11,186 --> 00:23:12,553
so that you're guaranteed

577
00:23:12,621 --> 00:23:14,055
every meat in every bite.

578
00:23:14,123 --> 00:23:15,323
When'd you get here, Chanel

579
00:23:15,390 --> 00:23:16,891
I thought you said

580
00:23:16,959 --> 00:23:18,659
you were leaving forever
or something like that?

581
00:23:18,727 --> 00:23:20,828
She says stuff like that but
never really follows through.

582
00:23:20,896 --> 00:23:23,965
Well, I, um, I actually did go home,

583
00:23:24,032 --> 00:23:25,566
but apparently my family forgot to tell me

584
00:23:25,634 --> 00:23:27,835
that they were going to
the Maldives this year

585
00:23:27,903 --> 00:23:29,003
for Thanksgiving, so...

586
00:23:31,206 --> 00:23:32,340
I'm fine.

587
00:23:32,407 --> 00:23:33,508
Sure, whatever.

588
00:23:33,575 --> 00:23:35,343
You came just in time

589
00:23:35,410 --> 00:23:37,678
for me to tell everyone
why I know that Dean Munsch

590
00:23:37,746 --> 00:23:39,180
is the killer.

591
00:23:39,248 --> 00:23:40,815
Who is the only person we know

592
00:23:40,883 --> 00:23:43,050
who has a more clear and
obvious motive for killing Kappas

593
00:23:43,118 --> 00:23:44,886
"then" Dean Munsch?

594
00:23:44,953 --> 00:23:46,654
<i>Than Dean Munsch.</i>

595
00:23:46,722 --> 00:23:47,522
Than.

596
00:23:47,589 --> 00:23:49,323
Not then...
Than.

597
00:23:49,391 --> 00:23:50,558
Have you ever

598
00:23:50,626 --> 00:23:52,326
even cracked open a book?

599
00:23:52,394 --> 00:23:53,928
Or attended a class?

600
00:23:53,996 --> 00:23:56,097
God.

601
00:23:56,165 --> 00:23:57,298
I hate you people.

602
00:23:57,366 --> 00:23:59,000
Exactly. You hate sororities

603
00:23:59,067 --> 00:24:00,468
and you hate Kappa Kappa Tau,

604
00:24:00,536 --> 00:24:01,936
and when you couldn't
just kick us off campus,

605
00:24:02,004 --> 00:24:03,771
you made sure no one pledged but losers,

606
00:24:03,839 --> 00:24:05,940
<i>and then started removing us from school</i>

607
00:24:06,008 --> 00:24:09,143
the only way you could: murder.

608
00:24:09,211 --> 00:24:11,212
She has a point, Dean Munsch.

609
00:24:11,280 --> 00:24:12,547
You were there that night

610
00:24:12,614 --> 00:24:14,182
in Kappa 20 years ago,

611
00:24:14,249 --> 00:24:15,550
and no one knows what happened

612
00:24:15,617 --> 00:24:17,151
to the babies.

613
00:24:17,219 --> 00:24:19,187
It makes sense that you
could have taken them

614
00:24:19,254 --> 00:24:20,821
and raised them as your killer pawns

615
00:24:20,889 --> 00:24:22,690
in service of getting revenge on a place

616
00:24:22,758 --> 00:24:24,959
that you consider to be evil.

617
00:24:25,027 --> 00:24:26,460
Really, that's quite a reach.

618
00:24:26,528 --> 00:24:27,795
Not really.

619
00:24:27,863 --> 00:24:28,963
You did say

620
00:24:29,031 --> 00:24:29,964
just the other day

621
00:24:30,032 --> 00:24:31,165
that the only way to live

622
00:24:31,233 --> 00:24:32,700
is to play the long game.

623
00:24:32,768 --> 00:24:34,468
Spending 20 years plotting for payback

624
00:24:34,536 --> 00:24:36,537
on a crime you consider to be horrible

625
00:24:36,605 --> 00:24:38,372
is exactly the kind of thing

626
00:24:38,440 --> 00:24:39,974
that you would do.

627
00:24:40,042 --> 00:24:41,375
And of course you would wait

628
00:24:41,443 --> 00:24:43,244
until the daughter of the
ringleader of that crime

629
00:24:43,312 --> 00:24:45,046
arrived on campus.

630
00:24:45,113 --> 00:24:46,681
I really hope

631
00:24:46,748 --> 00:24:49,183
you can come up with
something better than that.

632
00:24:49,251 --> 00:24:50,885
Oh, I can.

633
00:24:50,953 --> 00:24:52,853
I can prove that you're
the only person in this room

634
00:24:52,921 --> 00:24:54,488
we know for a fact is a murderer.

635
00:24:54,556 --> 00:24:56,490
<i>I saw you in the coffee shop the other day,</i>

636
00:24:56,558 --> 00:24:59,360
<i>reading one of your old Playgirl magazines.</i>

637
00:24:59,428 --> 00:25:00,661
I didn't look that closely,

638
00:25:00,729 --> 00:25:02,496
but what I did see was your meal.

639
00:25:02,564 --> 00:25:03,965
<i>Baked Lays,</i>

640
00:25:04,032 --> 00:25:06,067
<i>a pickle wedge, a Blondie,</i>

641
00:25:06,134 --> 00:25:08,236
<i>and a half-eaten bologna sandwich.</i>

642
00:25:08,303 --> 00:25:09,637
Wait.

643
00:25:09,705 --> 00:25:11,005
You are allergic to bologna.

644
00:25:11,073 --> 00:25:12,406
That's the whole reason they knew

645
00:25:12,474 --> 00:25:14,008
you didn't kill your ex-husband.

646
00:25:14,076 --> 00:25:15,876
No, you can't be allergic to bologna

647
00:25:15,944 --> 00:25:17,178
or any other lunch meat.

648
00:25:17,246 --> 00:25:18,446
People who are allergic to those things

649
00:25:18,513 --> 00:25:20,181
are affected by the sulfites in them,

650
00:25:20,249 --> 00:25:21,682
which are plentiful

651
00:25:21,750 --> 00:25:23,884
in the Spam that's in my stuffing

652
00:25:23,952 --> 00:25:26,120
that you're eating right now.

653
00:25:26,188 --> 00:25:28,222
And in the red wine you're
washing it down with.

654
00:25:28,290 --> 00:25:30,124
Feel free to call the
police now, Dean Munsch,

655
00:25:30,192 --> 00:25:32,960
or I'd be perfectly happy to do it for you.

656
00:25:33,028 --> 00:25:33,861
Wait.

657
00:25:39,201 --> 00:25:41,135
There's something I need to say first.

658
00:25:41,203 --> 00:25:42,903
Something that's been...

659
00:25:42,971 --> 00:25:45,273
eating at me for the longest time.

660
00:25:45,340 --> 00:25:47,108
Now, I'm not saying

661
00:25:47,175 --> 00:25:48,909
I know who the killer is,

662
00:25:48,977 --> 00:25:51,479
but I just-just want to talk it through.

663
00:25:51,546 --> 00:25:55,583
What? Dad, who do you think the killer is?

664
00:25:55,651 --> 00:25:58,853
I'm sorry, Gracie,

665
00:25:58,920 --> 00:26:01,856
but I think the killer might be...

666
00:26:01,923 --> 00:26:03,858
you.

667
00:26:14,425 --> 00:26:16,933
Dad, could you honestly think
that I'm the killer?

668
00:26:16,956 --> 00:26:18,824
Look, I don't want you to be, honey.

669
00:26:18,892 --> 00:26:20,893
Okay, look, there's just some stuff

670
00:26:20,960 --> 00:26:22,561
that doesn't add up.

671
00:26:22,629 --> 00:26:24,363
Look, I've gone through
all the suspects in my mind,

672
00:26:24,430 --> 00:26:26,031
and I can explain away all my suspicions

673
00:26:26,099 --> 00:26:27,566
for everyone except you.

674
00:26:27,634 --> 00:26:29,201
Can we just talk this out,

675
00:26:29,269 --> 00:26:32,037
so you can help me see that I'm wrong?

676
00:26:32,105 --> 00:26:33,572
Turkey isn't ready yet.

677
00:26:34,440 --> 00:26:36,041
Actually,

678
00:26:36,109 --> 00:26:37,709
I kind of think that she's the killer, too.

679
00:26:37,777 --> 00:26:39,378
I mean, it would fit in with your whole

680
00:26:39,445 --> 00:26:41,380
hard worker, let's find out the truth,

681
00:26:41,447 --> 00:26:44,950
never take no for an
answer, awful personality.

682
00:26:45,018 --> 00:26:47,052
Do you expect us to believe
that when your dad told you

683
00:26:47,120 --> 00:26:48,420
that your mom died in a fire,

684
00:26:48,488 --> 00:26:49,821
you would just accept it

685
00:26:49,889 --> 00:26:51,056
and move on with your life?

686
00:26:51,124 --> 00:26:52,724
This does raise some questions.

687
00:26:52,792 --> 00:26:54,526
You are kind of obsessed with your mom.

688
00:26:54,594 --> 00:26:56,261
You drone on about it endlessly.

689
00:26:56,329 --> 00:26:57,696
You know what I think?

690
00:26:57,764 --> 00:26:59,932
I think you did find out who your mom was

691
00:26:59,999 --> 00:27:01,733
and that she was awful and responsible

692
00:27:01,801 --> 00:27:03,068
for Kappa's greatest shame,

693
00:27:03,136 --> 00:27:05,003
the death of the girl in the bathtub.

694
00:27:05,071 --> 00:27:06,405
And that you hated the fact

695
00:27:06,472 --> 00:27:07,906
that the face of Kappa's evil

696
00:27:07,974 --> 00:27:09,675
was this woman who you idolized.

697
00:27:09,742 --> 00:27:11,410
So you swore to come to Wallace

698
00:27:11,477 --> 00:27:14,012
and create an even
bigger, even worse bogeyman

699
00:27:14,080 --> 00:27:15,847
to represent Kappa,

700
00:27:15,915 --> 00:27:17,049
the Red Devil.

701
00:27:17,116 --> 00:27:18,417
Anything to redeem

702
00:27:18,484 --> 00:27:20,085
your beloved dead mother.

703
00:27:20,153 --> 00:27:22,888
Hmm, makes a lot of sense
that that is your theory,

704
00:27:22,956 --> 00:27:24,256
Number Five, because it's insane.

705
00:27:24,324 --> 00:27:25,724
That makes no sense.

706
00:27:25,792 --> 00:27:27,226
Pete?

707
00:27:27,293 --> 00:27:29,094
I thought you were with your family.

708
00:27:29,162 --> 00:27:30,729
I can't rest when the
killer's still out there,

709
00:27:30,797 --> 00:27:32,097
so I stayed behind to
do some more research.

710
00:27:32,165 --> 00:27:33,732
But how did you know we were here?

711
00:27:33,800 --> 00:27:35,234
Zayday has been
live-tweeting the whole night,

712
00:27:35,301 --> 00:27:37,135
and I know everything you
guys have been talking about,

713
00:27:37,203 --> 00:27:38,437
and you're all wrong.

714
00:27:38,504 --> 00:27:39,771
I know who the killer is,

715
00:27:39,839 --> 00:27:40,973
and it's not Grace.

716
00:27:41,040 --> 00:27:42,107
Hey, get in line, okay?

717
00:27:43,176 --> 00:27:44,409
I'm going first.

718
00:27:44,477 --> 00:27:46,111
Okay, fine, Dad, you go first,

719
00:27:46,179 --> 00:27:47,279
then Pete can go.

720
00:27:47,347 --> 00:27:48,947
All right, here's what I have.

721
00:27:49,015 --> 00:27:50,282
Grace, you were the only pledge

722
00:27:50,350 --> 00:27:51,850
that wasn't buried up to her neck

723
00:27:51,918 --> 00:27:54,052
the night the deaf Taylor
Swift was decapitated.

724
00:27:54,120 --> 00:27:55,687
And you know that girl, Mandy,

725
00:27:55,755 --> 00:27:57,322
who was there that night in the bathtub

726
00:27:57,390 --> 00:27:59,391
and then ended up dead
at Zayday's haunted house?

727
00:27:59,459 --> 00:28:01,059
Well, no one knew anything about her

728
00:28:01,127 --> 00:28:03,328
or where she was for 20 years.

729
00:28:03,396 --> 00:28:04,997
And then when you saw her that night,

730
00:28:05,064 --> 00:28:07,899
well, she ended up stabbed to death.

731
00:28:07,967 --> 00:28:11,003
Pete was there, too, and he also
wasn't buried with the pledges.

732
00:28:11,070 --> 00:28:12,004
Yes, I know.

733
00:28:12,071 --> 00:28:14,406
Which is why I find this stuff

734
00:28:14,474 --> 00:28:15,674
just interesting.

735
00:28:15,742 --> 00:28:16,842
But what's worrisome to me

736
00:28:16,909 --> 00:28:18,010
is that

737
00:28:18,077 --> 00:28:19,511
I checked the calendar to see

738
00:28:19,579 --> 00:28:20,846
which days you did your class visit

739
00:28:20,913 --> 00:28:22,114
to Wallace last year.

740
00:28:22,181 --> 00:28:24,516
It was March 24 to the 26th.

741
00:28:24,584 --> 00:28:27,152
Wait a minute, March 25, I know that date.

742
00:28:27,220 --> 00:28:28,987
That's the date that Melanie Dorkus,

743
00:28:29,055 --> 00:28:30,188
the former president

744
00:28:30,256 --> 00:28:32,858
of Kappa Kappa Tau,
was horribly disfigured,

745
00:28:32,925 --> 00:28:35,861
when someone put acid in her spray tan.

746
00:28:35,928 --> 00:28:38,130
And right before she
passed out from the pain,

747
00:28:38,197 --> 00:28:41,300
she said that she saw
someone in a Red Devil costume

748
00:28:41,367 --> 00:28:42,534
standing over her.

749
00:28:42,602 --> 00:28:45,137
Wait, we saw you there that day.

750
00:28:45,204 --> 00:28:47,306
Oh, I remember now.

751
00:28:47,373 --> 00:28:49,207
No, please don't do this to me.

752
00:28:49,275 --> 00:28:50,976
Don't you want me to spray-tan you?

753
00:28:51,044 --> 00:28:51,977
I have it all ready.

754
00:28:52,045 --> 00:28:54,146
No, Chanel, I would honestly

755
00:28:54,213 --> 00:28:55,247
rather not have you around.

756
00:29:05,758 --> 00:29:07,726
Who are you and
what are you doing here?

757
00:29:07,794 --> 00:29:09,494
Hi.

758
00:29:09,562 --> 00:29:11,396
Wow, are you guys sisters here?

759
00:29:11,464 --> 00:29:12,998
That is so cool.

760
00:29:13,066 --> 00:29:14,099
I'm an incoming freshman,

761
00:29:14,167 --> 00:29:15,867
and I was just checking out the campus,

762
00:29:15,935 --> 00:29:17,369
and I was desperate to see
the inside of this place.

763
00:29:17,437 --> 00:29:19,338
I'm hoping to pledge when I matriculate.

764
00:29:19,405 --> 00:29:21,006
You're skinny and pretty, so that's a plus,

765
00:29:21,074 --> 00:29:23,675
but it's highly competitive,
so you'd better be rich, too.

766
00:29:23,743 --> 00:29:25,010
Then you guys kicked me out.

767
00:29:25,078 --> 00:29:26,745
Yeah.
Good times.

768
00:29:26,813 --> 00:29:28,046
There is one other thing.

769
00:29:28,114 --> 00:29:30,215
You know how at the beginning of the year,

770
00:29:30,283 --> 00:29:32,017
I was always secretly following you

771
00:29:32,085 --> 00:29:33,518
so I could just keep an eye on you,

772
00:29:33,586 --> 00:29:34,586
make sure you were safe?

773
00:29:34,654 --> 00:29:36,188


774
00:29:36,255 --> 00:29:39,424
Well, one night I was

775
00:29:39,492 --> 00:29:41,126
and I was looking out for you.

776
00:29:43,496 --> 00:29:46,064
<i>I heard you talking to someone,</i>

777
00:29:46,132 --> 00:29:48,300
<i>but I couldn't hear what it was about.</i>

778
00:29:48,368 --> 00:29:51,203
<i>And when I peeked around that wall,</i>

779
00:29:51,270 --> 00:29:54,039
<i>I almost fainted from what I saw.</i>

780
00:29:54,107 --> 00:29:56,708
Oh, no, Dad, that was
Pete. Yeah, that was me.

781
00:29:56,776 --> 00:29:58,076
What?

782
00:29:58,144 --> 00:30:00,212
Okay, we had plans to hand out flyers

783
00:30:00,279 --> 00:30:01,279
to see if anyone had

784
00:30:01,347 --> 00:30:02,614
any information about the Red Devil,

785
00:30:02,682 --> 00:30:04,049
and since Pete already had the costume,

786
00:30:04,117 --> 00:30:05,150
we thought it would be a good idea

787
00:30:05,218 --> 00:30:06,918
for people to see what he looked like.

788
00:30:06,986 --> 00:30:08,086
Yeah, but we didn't carry
through with the plan.

789
00:30:08,154 --> 00:30:10,756
Oh, thick as thieves, you two.

790
00:30:10,823 --> 00:30:12,157
It's amazing

791
00:30:12,225 --> 00:30:13,625
how he's Grace's alibi

792
00:30:13,693 --> 00:30:14,826
for so many of the horrible murders.

793
00:30:14,894 --> 00:30:17,095
Okay, I-I am now convinced

794
00:30:17,163 --> 00:30:18,930
that the murderer is not

795
00:30:18,998 --> 00:30:20,132
Nut Bag

796
00:30:20,199 --> 00:30:22,334
but is indeed Grace.

797
00:30:22,402 --> 00:30:24,136
No, I am not.

798
00:30:24,203 --> 00:30:25,604
No, no, she's not.

799
00:30:25,671 --> 00:30:28,106
And now I'm sure of it.

800
00:30:28,174 --> 00:30:30,308
Thank you for letting me talk about this,

801
00:30:30,376 --> 00:30:32,310
talk this out, and hear
your side of the story.

802
00:30:32,378 --> 00:30:34,212
I'm so relieved. Don't talk to me.

803
00:30:34,280 --> 00:30:36,047
Of course she's not
the killer, Mr. Gardner,

804
00:30:36,115 --> 00:30:38,817
and look, I know this is kind of awkward,

805
00:30:38,885 --> 00:30:40,218
because I am dating your daughter,

806
00:30:40,286 --> 00:30:41,720
and I would really love

807
00:30:41,788 --> 00:30:43,221
to get your approval on this,

808
00:30:43,289 --> 00:30:46,057
but you, sir, are the Red Devil Killer.

809
00:30:48,928 --> 00:30:50,128
Chanel, Hester,

810
00:30:50,196 --> 00:30:51,596
I'm really sorry about this.

811
00:30:51,664 --> 00:30:53,098
I personally don't think
these teams are fair,

812
00:30:53,166 --> 00:30:54,533
but honestly, I did warn you,

813
00:30:54,600 --> 00:30:56,802
so if this gets super awkward, it's on you.

814
00:30:56,869 --> 00:30:57,936
Good luck.

815
00:30:58,004 --> 00:30:59,104
When next we speak,

816
00:30:59,172 --> 00:31:01,106
it will be as adversaries.

817
00:31:03,276 --> 00:31:06,711
Well, just a quick overview of the rules.

818
00:31:06,779 --> 00:31:08,213
You pick a card

819
00:31:08,281 --> 00:31:09,548
and then you draw the word on the board

820
00:31:09,615 --> 00:31:10,816
using little pictures.

821
00:31:10,883 --> 00:31:13,018
No talking or gesturing,

822
00:31:13,085 --> 00:31:15,887
and your team has to guess
it before the time runs out.

823
00:31:15,955 --> 00:31:18,089
Brad, why don't you start us off?

824
00:31:18,157 --> 00:31:19,491
Come on, Brad! Come on, Brad!

825
00:31:21,060 --> 00:31:23,228
Brad! Brad! Brad! Brad! Brad! Brad! Brad!

826
00:31:23,296 --> 00:31:24,396
Come on! You can do this!

827
00:31:35,641 --> 00:31:36,575
And...

828
00:31:36,642 --> 00:31:38,176
go.

829
00:31:39,245 --> 00:31:40,745
Uh...

830
00:31:40,813 --> 00:31:41,580
Hester.

831
00:31:41,647 --> 00:31:43,114
Um, homely, ugly.

832
00:31:43,182 --> 00:31:44,749
Gold digger! Not welcome.

833
00:31:44,817 --> 00:31:46,852
Oh, unattractive short person.

834
00:31:46,919 --> 00:31:49,254
Poo belly. Is it poo belly?

835
00:31:49,322 --> 00:31:50,956
I thought you couldn't gesture?

836
00:31:51,023 --> 00:31:52,457
He wasn't gesturing, he was pointing.

837
00:31:53,426 --> 00:31:55,060
Uh, doesn't belong here.

838
00:31:55,127 --> 00:31:56,394
Should have left hours ago.

839
00:31:56,462 --> 00:31:59,598
Um, uh, bird. Turkey.

840
00:31:59,665 --> 00:32:01,032
Turkey neck! Neck waddle.

841
00:32:01,100 --> 00:32:02,767
Uh, girl

842
00:32:02,835 --> 00:32:03,602
with a weird, big neck.

843
00:32:03,669 --> 00:32:04,736
Oh, no, um, uh,

844
00:32:04,804 --> 00:32:06,238
neck brace! Neck brace!

845
00:32:06,305 --> 00:32:08,206
Ah!
Yes!

846
00:32:08,274 --> 00:32:09,207
Second word, second word.

847
00:32:09,275 --> 00:32:11,243
Sounds like...

848
00:32:11,310 --> 00:32:12,377
That's a gesture.

849
00:32:12,445 --> 00:32:14,546
That is a gesture. Oh, shh.

850
00:32:14,614 --> 00:32:16,214
Bed, bed, uh, bed, bed.

851
00:32:16,282 --> 00:32:17,382
Sounds like bed, uh, sleep.

852
00:32:17,450 --> 00:32:18,583
Uh, dead!

853
00:32:18,651 --> 00:32:19,718
Dead neck brace girl.

854
00:32:19,785 --> 00:32:21,052
Overfed!

855
00:32:21,120 --> 00:32:23,255
Overfed girl with a neck brace.

856
00:32:23,322 --> 00:32:25,457
No, no, too chunky to wear that outfit.

857
00:32:25,525 --> 00:32:26,258
Uh, uh...

858
00:32:26,325 --> 00:32:27,092
Yeah?

859
00:32:27,159 --> 00:32:27,826
No, no.

860
00:32:27,894 --> 00:32:29,261
Sleeping.

861
00:32:29,328 --> 00:32:30,262
Uh, snore.

862
00:32:30,329 --> 00:32:31,429
Snore, uh, uh,

863
00:32:31,497 --> 00:32:32,297
um, um,

864
00:32:32,365 --> 00:32:33,665
whore!

865
00:32:33,733 --> 00:32:35,066
Neck brace whore!

866
00:32:39,138 --> 00:32:40,238
Neck brace whore!

867
00:32:43,042 --> 00:32:45,076
I'm sorry, but someone needs to contact

868
00:32:45,144 --> 00:32:47,913
the good people at Hasbro,
because the odds of you picking

869
00:32:47,980 --> 00:32:49,080
neck brace whore

870
00:32:49,148 --> 00:32:50,181
are astronomical.

871
00:32:50,249 --> 00:32:51,917
I'm fairly certain

872
00:32:51,984 --> 00:32:53,852
this board game's been tampered with.

873
00:32:53,920 --> 00:32:55,020
Chanel, I don't want to
be, like, a rules stickler,

874
00:32:55,087 --> 00:32:56,354
but teams are not really

875
00:32:56,422 --> 00:32:58,056
supposed to be conversing between rounds.

876
00:32:58,124 --> 00:33:00,225
You will not shut me up this time, Chad.

877
00:33:00,293 --> 00:33:01,126
I have something to say.

878
00:33:02,361 --> 00:33:04,129
Hester,

879
00:33:04,196 --> 00:33:05,430
I owe you an apology.

880
00:33:05,498 --> 00:33:07,732
Yes, I did push you down the stairs

881
00:33:07,800 --> 00:33:10,635
in an attempt to murder you
and your fake unborn baby.

882
00:33:10,703 --> 00:33:11,970
And while my motivations

883
00:33:12,038 --> 00:33:13,772
were airtight and my conscience clear,

884
00:33:13,839 --> 00:33:15,774
still, I'm sorry.

885
00:33:15,841 --> 00:33:18,410
You, Chanel

886
00:33:18,477 --> 00:33:20,078
and that bond is stronger

887
00:33:20,146 --> 00:33:22,080
than some silly little
attempt on your life.

888
00:33:22,148 --> 00:33:23,915
Thank you.

889
00:33:23,983 --> 00:33:26,017
And furthermore, I'm
sorry that you had to sit

890
00:33:26,085 --> 00:33:29,120
through the most mean-spirited
game of Pictionary

891
00:33:29,188 --> 00:33:31,089
in the history of Pictionary.

892
00:33:31,157 --> 00:33:33,058
I mean, no one deserves
to be spoken to like that,

893
00:33:33,125 --> 00:33:35,660
particularly not by
what is, without a doubt,

894
00:33:35,728 --> 00:33:37,896
the most awful family in America.

895
00:33:37,964 --> 00:33:39,297
Chad,

896
00:33:39,365 --> 00:33:41,466
your leathery excuse for a mother

897
00:33:41,534 --> 00:33:44,135
looks like an ostrich-hide
clutch from last season

898
00:33:44,203 --> 00:33:45,570
that somehow learned to talk.

899
00:33:45,638 --> 00:33:47,138
And, Mr. Radwell,

900
00:33:47,206 --> 00:33:49,574
I have never seen anyone
spend so much money

901
00:33:49,642 --> 00:33:51,343
to make a house look this tacky.

902
00:33:51,410 --> 00:33:54,112
I've honestly seen more
tasteful decor at a Sizzler.

903
00:33:54,180 --> 00:33:56,181
And you, Thad,

904
00:33:56,248 --> 00:33:57,682
have a bright future ahead of you

905
00:33:57,750 --> 00:34:00,251
in the sex offender wing
of a supermax prison.

906
00:34:00,319 --> 00:34:02,087
And you, sir,

907
00:34:02,154 --> 00:34:03,588
give the kind,

908
00:34:03,656 --> 00:34:05,190
hard-working, deeply moral people

909
00:34:05,257 --> 00:34:06,791
who work in such a wonderful industry

910
00:34:06,859 --> 00:34:08,193
as Hollywood a bad name.

911
00:34:09,261 --> 00:34:10,795
And, Chad Radwell,

912
00:34:10,863 --> 00:34:12,564
whatever we had between us

913
00:34:12,632 --> 00:34:14,199
is over.

914
00:34:14,266 --> 00:34:15,867
I am walking out that door

915
00:34:15,935 --> 00:34:17,736
and never speaking to you again.

916
00:34:17,803 --> 00:34:20,038
You know you say that a lot, right?

917
00:34:20,106 --> 00:34:22,207
Well, consider this coming to my senses,

918
00:34:22,274 --> 00:34:24,042
because no woman in her right mind

919
00:34:24,110 --> 00:34:26,211
would want anything to do with this family.

920
00:34:27,446 --> 00:34:29,047
So good-bye, Chad.
Good-bye forever.

921
00:34:33,219 --> 00:34:35,053
Chanel, wait.

922
00:34:35,121 --> 00:34:36,554
I'm coming with you.

923
00:34:37,490 --> 00:34:38,757
Really?
Yes, yes, yes,

924
00:34:38,824 --> 00:34:39,958
all I've ever wanted

925
00:34:40,026 --> 00:34:41,126
is to be your sister.

926
00:34:41,193 --> 00:34:42,227
Fine.

927
00:34:42,294 --> 00:34:44,295
Let's hit the road, Number Six.

928
00:34:44,363 --> 00:34:45,730
We're going home.

929
00:34:47,776 --> 00:34:49,090
*** looks good.

930
00:34:49,115 --> 00:34:50,925
***

931
00:34:50,956 --> 00:34:51,859
What'd I miss?

932
00:34:51,903 --> 00:34:52,355
Pete was just about to ruin

933
00:34:52,423 --> 00:34:54,157
any chances of marrying Grace

934
00:34:54,225 --> 00:34:55,492
by explaining why he thinks
her dad is the killer.

935
00:34:55,559 --> 00:34:56,559
Grace,

936
00:34:56,627 --> 00:34:58,328
this is really hard for me,

937
00:34:58,396 --> 00:35:00,163
but I'm an investigative journalist.

938
00:35:00,231 --> 00:35:01,331
So, like everyone else,

939
00:35:01,399 --> 00:35:02,732
I started with a motive.

940
00:35:02,800 --> 00:35:04,401
Yours was easy, sir, 'cause you just

941
00:35:04,468 --> 00:35:06,403
keep on repeating it over and over again.

942
00:35:06,470 --> 00:35:08,038
More than anything, you
want to keep Grace safe,

943
00:35:08,105 --> 00:35:09,773
and as far as you're concerned,
the most dangerous thing

944
00:35:09,840 --> 00:35:12,709
in her life is Kappa Kappa Tau.

945
00:35:12,777 --> 00:35:14,911
Now, you begged her not to join,

946
00:35:14,979 --> 00:35:16,880
but she didn't listen,

947
00:35:16,947 --> 00:35:18,381
so you had to find another way

948
00:35:18,449 --> 00:35:20,016
to keep her from becoming a sister,

949
00:35:20,084 --> 00:35:23,687
and what was the best way to do that? Hmm.

950
00:35:23,754 --> 00:35:26,356
To get Dean Munsch to shut down the house.

951
00:35:26,424 --> 00:35:27,524
And so you started killing sisters

952
00:35:27,591 --> 00:35:28,692
left and right until she did,

953
00:35:28,759 --> 00:35:30,860
but... you didn't count on the small fact

954
00:35:30,928 --> 00:35:32,896
that Dean Munsch over here
is such a coldhearted bitch.

955
00:35:33,831 --> 00:35:34,764
Sorry I'm not sorry.

956
00:35:34,832 --> 00:35:36,032
And the body count

957
00:35:36,100 --> 00:35:37,367
just kept rising and rising

958
00:35:37,435 --> 00:35:39,569
until you finally got her to surrender

959
00:35:39,637 --> 00:35:41,404
and shut the place down.

960
00:35:41,472 --> 00:35:43,406
But I could have just
pulled her out of school

961
00:35:43,474 --> 00:35:45,742
or, hell, even burned the house down

962
00:35:45,810 --> 00:35:47,877
before I would even
consider killing people.

963
00:35:47,945 --> 00:35:49,512
Well, you certainly had
the inside information

964
00:35:49,580 --> 00:35:51,014
to pull it off,

965
00:35:51,082 --> 00:35:53,516
at least when it came to Roger and Sam.

966
00:35:53,584 --> 00:35:56,519
<i>See, uh, I was looking over
some of Kappa's yearbooks</i>

967
00:35:56,587 --> 00:35:58,388
<i>from the time of the bathtub incident,</i>

968
00:35:58,456 --> 00:36:01,624
<i>and I came across
something both interesting</i>

969
00:36:01,692 --> 00:36:03,293
<i>and deeply disturbing.</i>

970
00:36:03,361 --> 00:36:05,295
Your freshman year, Mr. Gardner,

971
00:36:05,363 --> 00:36:06,363
Kappa had

972
00:36:06,430 --> 00:36:08,131
a special night called

973
00:36:08,199 --> 00:36:09,866
the Secret Kappa Tunnel Rager,

974
00:36:09,934 --> 00:36:12,802
in which they brought down kegs
into the secret Kappa tunnels

975
00:36:12,870 --> 00:36:14,537
and they did a huge party.

976
00:36:14,605 --> 00:36:17,173
Well, there's pictures from
that night and the party.

977
00:36:17,241 --> 00:36:19,109
Please take a look at who was there.

978
00:36:20,344 --> 00:36:21,845
Oh, wow.

979
00:36:21,912 --> 00:36:23,413
How could such a stud

980
00:36:23,481 --> 00:36:25,014
evolve from a boy

981
00:36:25,082 --> 00:36:26,583
who was so clearly a douche.

982
00:36:26,650 --> 00:36:28,518
So you're saying if he
knew about the tunnel,

983
00:36:28,586 --> 00:36:29,686
then he could've snuck into the house

984
00:36:29,754 --> 00:36:31,421
the night we were all locked in.

985
00:36:31,489 --> 00:36:33,289
Yeah.

986
00:36:33,357 --> 00:36:37,026
Oh, please, look, I-I was
so bombed at that party.

987
00:36:37,094 --> 00:36:38,862
I mean, I remember I puked

988
00:36:38,929 --> 00:36:40,263
while I was making out

989
00:36:40,331 --> 00:36:41,364
with some girl, but there is no way

990
00:36:41,432 --> 00:36:42,599
that I could've found my way

991
00:36:42,666 --> 00:36:44,100
back down there

992
00:36:44,168 --> 00:36:45,835
20 minutes later, let alone 20 years.

993
00:36:47,271 --> 00:36:48,304
That wasn't enough for me, either.

994
00:36:48,372 --> 00:36:49,305
So I kept on digging.

995
00:36:49,373 --> 00:36:50,473
See, I couldn't

996
00:36:50,541 --> 00:36:52,075
figure out how the bodies

997
00:36:52,143 --> 00:36:53,143
in the meat locker

998
00:36:53,210 --> 00:36:54,644
just kept disappearing.

999
00:36:54,712 --> 00:36:56,913
So I tapped into the secret cameras

1000
00:36:56,981 --> 00:36:58,681
Chanel had installed all over the house.

1001
00:36:58,749 --> 00:37:00,417
<i>And you, sir,</i>

1002
00:37:00,484 --> 00:37:02,652
<i>are in the footage.</i>

1003
00:37:04,588 --> 00:37:05,989
Dad,

1004
00:37:06,056 --> 00:37:07,690
why would you do that?

1005
00:37:07,758 --> 00:37:10,493
This is really embarrassing,

1006
00:37:10,561 --> 00:37:12,529
um, but I started the paleo diet,

1007
00:37:12,596 --> 00:37:14,330
because I'm back on the dating scene now,

1008
00:37:14,398 --> 00:37:16,499
and I-I wanted to lose some weight.

1009
00:37:16,567 --> 00:37:18,334
But I'm on a teacher's salary,
and I can't afford meat,

1010
00:37:18,402 --> 00:37:19,502
and that freezer,

1011
00:37:19,570 --> 00:37:20,503
it's got chicken,

1012
00:37:20,571 --> 00:37:21,671
burgers, ribs,

1013
00:37:21,739 --> 00:37:23,339
there's whole sides of beef

1014
00:37:23,407 --> 00:37:25,175
just hanging on hooks, and
you girls don't even eat.

1015
00:37:25,242 --> 00:37:26,376
So I figured I'd just make sure

1016
00:37:26,444 --> 00:37:27,677
that none of it went to waste.

1017
00:37:27,745 --> 00:37:30,847
<i>So yes, I borrowed some meat.</i>

1018
00:37:30,915 --> 00:37:32,515
I'll return it.

1019
00:37:32,583 --> 00:37:36,019
<i>I never saw a body down there.</i>

1020
00:37:36,086 --> 00:37:38,054
I actually have noticed
you leaning out a bit.

1021
00:37:38,122 --> 00:37:39,255
You look good.

1022
00:37:40,257 --> 00:37:41,524
Paleo diet. It works.

1023
00:37:41,592 --> 00:37:42,525
Paleo.

1024
00:37:42,593 --> 00:37:43,526
None of that

1025
00:37:43,594 --> 00:37:44,861
prepared me

1026
00:37:44,929 --> 00:37:46,529
for what I discovered next.

1027
00:37:46,597 --> 00:37:47,864
See, uh,

1028
00:37:47,932 --> 00:37:49,365
I'm buddies with the county coroner.

1029
00:37:49,433 --> 00:37:50,967
Him and my brother used to sell

1030
00:37:51,035 --> 00:37:52,502
illegal fireworks in high school.

1031
00:37:52,570 --> 00:37:53,803
I bribed him with a bag of weed

1032
00:37:53,871 --> 00:37:56,139
to get some of Boone's hair.

1033
00:37:57,241 --> 00:37:58,341
This is the part

1034
00:37:58,409 --> 00:37:59,542
I'm kind of ashamed of.

1035
00:37:59,610 --> 00:38:01,377
Wait a minute, there's a part

1036
00:38:01,445 --> 00:38:03,146
other than bribing a
government official with drugs

1037
00:38:03,214 --> 00:38:05,181
so that you can steal
the hair of a dead man

1038
00:38:05,249 --> 00:38:06,483
that you're ashamed of?

1039
00:38:06,550 --> 00:38:08,151
Well, I-I kind of

1040
00:38:08,219 --> 00:38:09,719
snuck into Mr. Gardner's apartment

1041
00:38:09,787 --> 00:38:12,222
to get some hair from his brush,

1042
00:38:12,289 --> 00:38:13,490
and I have a friend

1043
00:38:13,557 --> 00:38:14,657
<i>who works at The Maury Show,</i>

1044
00:38:14,725 --> 00:38:16,726
and I got him to run a quickie DNA test,

1045
00:38:16,794 --> 00:38:17,994
and...

1046
00:38:19,430 --> 00:38:21,331
I'm sorry to say, Mr. Gardner,

1047
00:38:21,398 --> 00:38:24,334
but you are the father.

1048
00:38:24,401 --> 00:38:25,735
What? I'm-I'm sorry.

1049
00:38:25,803 --> 00:38:28,438
My dad is Boone's father?

1050
00:38:28,506 --> 00:38:30,206
Oh, my God. Dad?

1051
00:38:30,274 --> 00:38:31,875
Honey, Grace, I swear I had...

1052
00:38:31,942 --> 00:38:33,076
I had no idea.

1053
00:38:33,143 --> 00:38:34,277
I mean,

1054
00:38:34,345 --> 00:38:35,612
it's not out of the question.

1055
00:38:35,679 --> 00:38:37,714
I-I was a bit of a man
slut back in the day,

1056
00:38:37,781 --> 00:38:39,449
and it was the '90s,
so nobody wore condoms.

1057
00:38:39,517 --> 00:38:40,416
Trust me.

1058
00:38:41,785 --> 00:38:43,419
Which probably means

1059
00:38:43,487 --> 00:38:45,655
you're also the father of
the other baby in the bathtub.

1060
00:38:45,723 --> 00:38:47,257
I'm sorry, Mr. Gardner,

1061
00:38:47,324 --> 00:38:49,859
but this is what they
call an orgy of evidence.

1062
00:38:51,495 --> 00:38:53,596
I'm obligated to take it to the police.

1063
00:38:54,665 --> 00:38:55,865
Oh, my God.

1064
00:39:11,979 --> 00:39:13,380
I didn't know.

1065
00:39:13,447 --> 00:39:15,649
I swear.

1066
00:39:15,716 --> 00:39:18,151
And if I had, I would've
taken responsibility.

1067
00:39:18,219 --> 00:39:20,820
Of course you would have.

1068
00:39:22,556 --> 00:39:24,658
Pete's not gonna call the police.

1069
00:39:24,725 --> 00:39:25,992
I told him that you're my dad

1070
00:39:26,060 --> 00:39:29,129
and I know you.

1071
00:39:29,196 --> 00:39:31,131
I mean, those are my kids out there,

1072
00:39:31,198 --> 00:39:32,499
killing all those people.

1073
00:39:32,566 --> 00:39:34,167
Which is why we, more than anyone,

1074
00:39:34,235 --> 00:39:37,170
have to do everything we can
to find them and stop them.

1075
00:39:37,238 --> 00:39:39,873
You think you could do
it in the moment? Hmm?

1076
00:39:41,108 --> 00:39:42,509
Send your brother or your sister

1077
00:39:42,576 --> 00:39:44,010
off to the chair?

1078
00:39:44,078 --> 00:39:45,512
Maybe even kill them yourself?

1079
00:39:45,579 --> 00:39:48,281
To save my friends or you,

1080
00:39:48,349 --> 00:39:49,849
yes.

1081
00:39:51,185 --> 00:39:53,186
They are my blood,

1082
00:39:53,254 --> 00:39:55,855
but you and Zayday and even the Chanels,

1083
00:39:55,923 --> 00:39:57,357
all of the people

1084
00:39:57,425 --> 00:39:59,359
who I have suffered
through all of this with,

1085
00:39:59,427 --> 00:40:02,128
you are my family.

1086
00:40:02,196 --> 00:40:03,830
A highly dysfunctional family,

1087
00:40:03,898 --> 00:40:07,267
but... still.

1088
00:40:08,602 --> 00:40:10,570
Come here.

1089
00:40:16,277 --> 00:40:18,044
What about everyone else?

1090
00:40:18,112 --> 00:40:19,946
I mean, there are some pretty
compelling cases being made

1091
00:40:20,014 --> 00:40:21,715
that someone down there is the killer.

1092
00:40:21,782 --> 00:40:25,118
Which is why no one is going
to the police about any of it.

1093
00:40:25,186 --> 00:40:27,721
And all tonight did was
prove that at this point,

1094
00:40:27,788 --> 00:40:29,222
it could be anyone,

1095
00:40:29,290 --> 00:40:30,623
except you and me, of course.

1096
00:40:30,691 --> 00:40:32,592
Oh, no, totally, totally. Yeah.

1097
00:40:32,660 --> 00:40:34,427
Five minutes to turkey time.

1098
00:40:34,495 --> 00:40:36,563
I just checked the timer personally.

1099
00:40:36,630 --> 00:40:38,231
Good.

1100
00:40:38,299 --> 00:40:41,267
And then Chad's dad offered me $50,000

1101
00:40:41,335 --> 00:40:42,936
to leave and never come back.

1102
00:40:43,004 --> 00:40:44,204
That's amazing.

1103
00:40:44,271 --> 00:40:45,372
What are you gonna do with the money?

1104
00:40:45,439 --> 00:40:47,374
I didn't take the money, idiot.

1105
00:40:47,441 --> 00:40:49,042
Um, okay, well,

1106
00:40:49,110 --> 00:40:50,877
you already left, so, basically,

1107
00:40:50,945 --> 00:40:53,013
you're out $50,000 for no reason.

1108
00:40:53,080 --> 00:40:56,016
Chanel

1109
00:40:56,083 --> 00:40:58,184
that Tiburon is ready to be served.

1110
00:40:58,252 --> 00:41:00,754
Uh, Chanel, would you at least

1111
00:41:00,821 --> 00:41:03,390
please give the illusion of trying to help?

1112
00:41:03,457 --> 00:41:05,025
Okay, first of all, I experienced

1113
00:41:05,092 --> 00:41:07,427
extreme emotional trauma this evening,

1114
00:41:07,495 --> 00:41:08,595
and second,

1115
00:41:08,662 --> 00:41:09,863
I'm the one delegating tasks,

1116
00:41:09,930 --> 00:41:11,598
thank you very much.

1117
00:41:11,665 --> 00:41:13,233
It's the most important job there is.

1118
00:41:13,300 --> 00:41:15,135
Plus, I'm saving my energy

1119
00:41:15,202 --> 00:41:17,070
for Black Friday
doorbusters tomorrow morning.

1120
00:41:17,138 --> 00:41:18,571
Um, ladies, excuse me, please.

1121
00:41:18,639 --> 00:41:20,573
I'm gonna go freshen up.

1122
00:41:20,641 --> 00:41:22,909
What took you so long?

1123
00:41:22,977 --> 00:41:24,744
I couldn't find any matches.

1124
00:41:24,812 --> 00:41:26,413
I thought there'd be
some in Jennifer's room,

1125
00:41:26,480 --> 00:41:29,015
but I ended up finding this
in the downstairs bathroom.

1126
00:41:29,083 --> 00:41:30,850
And what happened to you?

1127
00:41:30,918 --> 00:41:32,352
I was sharpening this knife.

1128
00:41:32,420 --> 00:41:34,020
I couldn't find Ms. Bean's carver,

1129
00:41:34,088 --> 00:41:35,188
but this one is definitely sharp enough

1130
00:41:35,256 --> 00:41:37,357
to glide easily through roasted flesh.

1131
00:41:37,425 --> 00:41:39,526
What a weird way to put that.

1132
00:41:39,593 --> 00:41:41,194
Oh, great, it's you two.

1133
00:41:41,262 --> 00:41:43,096
You're gonna make fabulous dinner guests

1134
00:41:43,164 --> 00:41:44,030
now that you found out

1135
00:41:44,098 --> 00:41:45,298
you fathered a bastard murderer,

1136
00:41:45,366 --> 00:41:46,933
who's your sibling.

1137
00:41:47,001 --> 00:41:48,435
As you can imagine,

1138
00:41:48,502 --> 00:41:50,336
it's been sort of a heavy day for me.

1139
00:41:50,404 --> 00:41:51,738
So if you wouldn't mind,

1140
00:41:51,806 --> 00:41:53,773
I would love for us all to have a quiet,

1141
00:41:53,841 --> 00:41:56,009
uneventful Thanksgiving. Thank you.

1142
00:41:57,745 --> 00:41:59,512
Come on, let's bring in Tiburon.

1143
00:42:01,182 --> 00:42:02,515
Oh, Weston,

1144
00:42:02,583 --> 00:42:03,950
is your crazy girlfriend attending?

1145
00:42:04,018 --> 00:42:06,119
Because if so, I need
to set a place for her.

1146
00:42:06,187 --> 00:42:09,189
No, no, because I have
no idea where Gigi is.

1147
00:42:11,559 --> 00:42:13,526
Chad?

1148
00:42:13,594 --> 00:42:15,028
You haven't eaten yet, have you? I knew it!

1149
00:42:15,096 --> 00:42:16,996
You've come back. You've chosen me

1150
00:42:17,064 --> 00:42:18,498
over your awful family.

1151
00:42:18,566 --> 00:42:20,967
Hold up.

1152
00:42:21,035 --> 00:42:23,136
First of all, my family
is awesome. How dare you?

1153
00:42:23,204 --> 00:42:25,538
And second, yeah, I did come
back, but it's only because

1154
00:42:25,606 --> 00:42:27,207
I knew you'd have turkey here,

1155
00:42:27,274 --> 00:42:28,374
so I thought I'd get my turkey on with you.

1156
00:42:29,610 --> 00:42:30,577
I'm sorry I said that.

1157
00:42:34,548 --> 00:42:36,149
What's up, guys?

1158
00:42:38,452 --> 00:42:39,752
You know, I really thought this bird

1159
00:42:39,820 --> 00:42:41,554
would be a lot heavier.

1160
00:42:41,622 --> 00:42:44,157
Dean Munsch, you must have
really overcooked the turkey.

1161
00:42:44,225 --> 00:42:45,158
Oh, that's nonsense.

1162
00:42:45,226 --> 00:42:47,660
Tiburon is perfectly cooked.

1163
00:42:47,728 --> 00:42:49,362
Okay, I hope everyone's hungry

1164
00:42:49,430 --> 00:42:52,732
because I, for one, am overjoyed at this.

1165
00:42:52,800 --> 00:42:55,335
I mean, look, it's our
first Kappa Thanksgiving.

1166
00:42:55,402 --> 00:42:57,337
So, without further ado,

1167
00:42:57,404 --> 00:42:59,906
dinner is served.

1168
00:43:07,096 --> 00:43:12,283
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