1
00:00:18,760 --> 00:00:21,000
You don't have to know what
something is

2
00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:22,600
before you know you need it.

3
00:00:22,600 --> 00:00:24,600
You'd have got that
long before the rest us.

4
00:00:25,680 --> 00:00:27,640
Suddenly, I saw myself
through her eyes.

5
00:00:29,120 --> 00:00:31,760
Dutiful, compliant.

6
00:00:33,160 --> 00:00:35,320
And then I looked around me,

7
00:00:35,320 --> 00:00:37,600
<font color="

8
00:00:37,600 --> 00:00:40,720
The reason everything happened was
because of the lunch rota.

9
00:00:42,720 --> 00:00:44,920
It came down from on high,
last Monday morning,

10
00:00:44,920 --> 00:00:46,840
that the typing pool had a new lunch
rota.

11
00:00:48,200 --> 00:00:50,560
Laura and me always used to go
together.

12
00:00:50,560 --> 00:00:53,840
<font color="
secretarial college,
and we go to our bench,

13
00:00:53,840 --> 00:00:56,000
and have sandwiches in the field
behind the office.

14
00:00:56,000 --> 00:00:59,480
Now, suddenly, we were put
with girls we didn't know.

15
00:00:59,480 --> 00:01:03,280
No reason given.
And you don't ask why at our firm.

16
00:01:04,360 --> 00:01:07,560
<font color="

17
00:01:09,520 --> 00:01:11,000
Pam is one of the new juniors.

18
00:01:12,360 --> 00:01:15,720
She wore a funny-looking brown
jumper, every day.

19
00:01:17,240 --> 00:01:18,840
And I thought she smelled of onions.

20
00:01:20,240 --> 00:01:23,520
Dirty fingernail tapped on my desk
as I put the phone down.

21
00:01:23,520 --> 00:01:25,280
Was that onions, or Bovril?

22
00:01:26,880 --> 00:01:30,560
<font color="
yellow glove.

23
00:01:30,560 --> 00:01:32,320
You know, the type you get out
Lewis's?

24
00:01:32,320 --> 00:01:34,680
Except it had pink crystal beads
on the wrist.

25
00:01:34,680 --> 00:01:38,120
"It was on the floor, by your desk,
"she said.

26
00:01:38,120 --> 00:01:40,480
"It's not mine." "Well, it's not
<font color="

27
00:01:40,480 --> 00:01:42,240
she said, unnecessarily.

28
00:01:42,240 --> 00:01:44,840
"Leave it there, and I'll check
round after lunch."

29
00:01:47,240 --> 00:01:50,040
So, me and Pam descended the stairs
that first Monday lunchtime

30
00:01:50,040 --> 00:01:53,400
and I crossed my fingers
we'd go our separate ways.

31
00:01:53,400 --> 00:01:55,880
I had some new Mills and Boon
<font color="

32
00:01:55,880 --> 00:01:57,760
and I was gearing up
for a lunchtime of

33
00:01:57,760 --> 00:02:00,760
chivalrous, passionate,
imaginary men.

34
00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:05,480
As soon as we got to the door,
she pulled it open, and said,

35
00:02:05,480 --> 00:02:07,480
"Where are we going, then?"

36
00:02:07,480 --> 00:02:11,160
Christ. I wasn't taking her to the
<font color="

37
00:02:11,160 --> 00:02:13,800
We walked along the road until we
came to the top shops,

38
00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:16,920
and then she led me around the back
towards a different bench.

39
00:02:16,920 --> 00:02:19,160
It's probably where she had lunch on
her own.

40
00:02:21,800 --> 00:02:24,120
As soon as I sat down,

41
00:02:24,120 --> 00:02:27,480
<font color="
orgasm.

42
00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:29,240
"Have you ever had an orgasm,
Linda?"

43
00:02:31,640 --> 00:02:34,320
I wanted to hit her, suddenly, I...

44
00:02:34,320 --> 00:02:36,560
I wanted to crush her
into a tiny ball.

45
00:02:36,560 --> 00:02:38,240
I was her superior, I could...

46
00:02:38,240 --> 00:02:40,520
I could threaten
<font color="

47
00:02:40,520 --> 00:02:41,920
I could get her the sack.

48
00:02:41,920 --> 00:02:44,760
I could give her a slut's
reputation, if I wanted.

49
00:02:47,640 --> 00:02:50,760
No, actually, I wasn't going to be
like that.

50
00:02:50,760 --> 00:02:52,560
I should warn her to be careful.

51
00:02:52,560 --> 00:02:55,160
That's not the type of thing
<font color="

52
00:02:57,160 --> 00:02:59,600
Pam was reaching into her bag,
and pulled out ciggies.

53
00:03:01,480 --> 00:03:04,240
"Where's your lunch?" "I'm not
hungry," she said.

54
00:03:06,080 --> 00:03:07,120
Pam was wild!

55
00:03:08,320 --> 00:03:10,840
"Oh, I'd never had an orgasm either.

56
00:03:10,840 --> 00:03:12,720
"Until a week ago," she said.

57
00:03:14,240 --> 00:03:17,880
The thing is, it's funny
<font color="

58
00:03:20,160 --> 00:03:22,040
No, my hands have been wandering

59
00:03:22,040 --> 00:03:24,880
below my waistline for
as long as I can remember.

60
00:03:24,880 --> 00:03:27,280
But I always packed it in
after a few seconds,

61
00:03:27,280 --> 00:03:30,480
in case I turned myself into
tampered goods, as my mum put it.

62
00:03:30,480 --> 00:03:32,080
<font color="

63
00:03:32,080 --> 00:03:34,520
you can tell a fallen woman
because of the way she walks.

64
00:03:35,960 --> 00:03:38,640
One day, a couple of weeks ago,

65
00:03:38,640 --> 00:03:41,320
Laura had started on about climaxes.

66
00:03:41,320 --> 00:03:42,520
As she called them.

67
00:03:44,000 --> 00:03:47,280
She got hold of a book called
Sex And The Single Girl.

68
00:03:47,280 --> 00:03:51,080
<font color="
if you were a sexy woman,

69
00:03:51,080 --> 00:03:53,360
you could probably achieve a climax,

70
00:03:53,360 --> 00:03:55,200
and that was something
for us to all aim for.

71
00:03:55,200 --> 00:03:57,080
£Well, fat chance of being a sexy
woman

72
00:03:57,080 --> 00:04:00,360
"if it's reliant on the
pricks down our way," I said.

73
00:04:01,440 --> 00:04:04,920
<font color="
That girl who arrived last week

74
00:04:04,920 --> 00:04:06,880
"with the amazing clothes?"

75
00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:08,760
Pammy snapped me
back into the present.

76
00:04:10,040 --> 00:04:12,160
I had noticed Vera.

77
00:04:12,160 --> 00:04:13,200
Everyone had.

78
00:04:14,600 --> 00:04:19,960
Vera was cool. Not the type of cool
you read about in

79
00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:22,920
<font color="
completely her own cool.

80
00:04:24,360 --> 00:04:26,120
Utterly herself.

81
00:04:29,680 --> 00:04:31,120
Won't be true.

82
00:04:33,240 --> 00:04:35,680
Even if it was, she wouldn't say it.

83
00:04:35,680 --> 00:04:38,480
"It was her who give it to me."

84
00:04:38,480 --> 00:04:41,760
A hole opens up in my skull, and
hot lava bubbles from deep inside.

85
00:04:45,040 --> 00:04:47,480
<font color="

86
00:04:47,480 --> 00:04:50,400
Pammy's eyes glitter
as she takes in my face.

87
00:04:50,400 --> 00:04:52,480
"You're kidding," I manage.

88
00:04:52,480 --> 00:04:55,760
"I'm not. She offered,
and I thought 'why not?'"

89
00:04:57,120 --> 00:04:59,960
"She offered?" "I told her
I'd never had one."

90
00:04:59,960 --> 00:05:02,240
"How did you get
<font color="

91
00:05:02,240 --> 00:05:04,600
Me voice high and warbly.

92
00:05:04,600 --> 00:05:05,680
"We went for lunch."

93
00:05:06,720 --> 00:05:10,880
"She... Is she one of those?"

94
00:05:10,880 --> 00:05:12,240
"Who cares?" she said.

95
00:05:13,440 --> 00:05:14,480
I swallowed deeply.

96
00:05:15,600 --> 00:05:17,840
"Are you?" "Oh, I might be."

97
00:05:18,880 --> 00:05:21,880
"I don't know yet."
"So, you'll do it again?"

98
00:05:21,880 --> 00:05:24,560
<font color="

99
00:05:24,560 --> 00:05:27,120
"If she's up for it." "What,
you think she might not be?"

100
00:05:28,120 --> 00:05:29,760
"Have you ever spoke to Vera?"

101
00:05:31,080 --> 00:05:34,480
I shook my head.

102
00:05:36,080 --> 00:05:37,520
"You should introduce yourself."

103
00:05:41,080 --> 00:05:43,720
When we got back, my eyes fell on
the yellow glove, and I'm

104
00:05:43,720 --> 00:05:47,160
<font color="
desk, and I'm breathing shallow.

105
00:05:49,200 --> 00:05:51,160
I laid it before her, like an
offering.

106
00:05:53,360 --> 00:05:54,400
She looked up at me.

107
00:05:55,840 --> 00:05:56,880
Hazel eyes.

108
00:05:58,320 --> 00:05:59,600
She smelled incredible.

109
00:06:01,720 --> 00:06:03,760
"I thought this might be yours."

110
00:06:05,120 --> 00:06:06,160
"It is."

111
00:06:07,960 --> 00:06:09,240
<font color="

112
00:06:10,360 --> 00:06:13,440
She glanced down, but I didn't
move, and she looked back up again.

113
00:06:15,160 --> 00:06:17,120
"I had lunch with Pam," I said.

114
00:06:19,240 --> 00:06:21,440
The side of her mouth twitched.

115
00:06:24,680 --> 00:06:27,240
"Fine," she said.

116
00:06:29,240 --> 00:06:30,480
Ending the conversation.

117
00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:34,760
Nothing happened until the end
<font color="

118
00:06:34,760 --> 00:06:36,840
when a bit of paper fell on my desk.

119
00:06:36,840 --> 00:06:38,960
7pm, on the bridge.

120
00:06:42,120 --> 00:06:43,800
7pm, and there she was.

121
00:06:45,280 --> 00:06:46,480
Inhaling on her ciggie.

122
00:06:48,040 --> 00:06:50,760
She turned to me, and I knew she
could tell I was terrified,

123
00:06:50,760 --> 00:06:52,760
because her mouth was twitching
again.

124
00:06:53,800 --> 00:06:55,360
<font color="

125
00:06:56,440 --> 00:06:57,480
Straight in.

126
00:07:00,040 --> 00:07:02,240
"She told me what you did to her."

127
00:07:02,240 --> 00:07:03,520
That raised her eyebrow.

128
00:07:05,440 --> 00:07:06,480
"Pammy wanted it."

129
00:07:07,480 --> 00:07:09,360
"Oh, no, I know, I... I...

130
00:07:10,880 --> 00:07:12,600
"..was just interested."

131
00:07:13,960 --> 00:07:15,000
Vera smiled.

132
00:07:17,120 --> 00:07:19,400
"Well, that's what you're doing
<font color="

133
00:07:22,760 --> 00:07:23,800
I nodded.

134
00:07:24,800 --> 00:07:26,360
Oh, my God, I was nodding.

135
00:07:28,160 --> 00:07:30,280
We started walking, and we stopped
at a blue door.

136
00:07:31,680 --> 00:07:32,720
She let us in.

137
00:07:33,920 --> 00:07:36,000
She poured me a stiff glass of
whisky,

138
00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:37,760
and I gulped it down,
and she...

139
00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:41,520
<font color="
her up the stairs.

140
00:07:41,520 --> 00:07:43,680
"Is your mum upstairs?"

141
00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:46,640
"No, no-one is."

142
00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:49,280
"Do you live on your own?"

143
00:07:50,640 --> 00:07:53,000
She'd moved in recently, that much
was obvious.

144
00:07:54,800 --> 00:07:56,760
I wanted to ask her
where she'd come from.

145
00:07:58,200 --> 00:07:59,640
<font color="

146
00:08:01,040 --> 00:08:03,640
I stepped into her bedroom, and I
took a breath.

147
00:08:06,600 --> 00:08:09,920
It's the lair of a goddess.

148
00:08:09,920 --> 00:08:12,200
She came for me, and she kissed me.

149
00:08:14,200 --> 00:08:17,800
She wrapped her arms around me,
and enveloped my lips with hers.

150
00:08:17,800 --> 00:08:20,240
As my mouth opened
<font color="

151
00:08:20,240 --> 00:08:22,360
that our teeth clatter together,

152
00:08:22,360 --> 00:08:24,600
and that got us laughing.

153
00:08:25,720 --> 00:08:27,960
Not the twitching smiles of earlier,
but...

154
00:08:29,760 --> 00:08:32,520
Like, full-bodied cackling mirth
that just...

155
00:08:33,880 --> 00:08:35,680
..like, bubbled out in waves.

156
00:08:37,800 --> 00:08:41,640
Suddenly, our fingers were fumbling
<font color="

157
00:08:41,640 --> 00:08:43,720
or the zips, or the clips,
and I wanted...

158
00:08:45,600 --> 00:08:46,880
..I wanted to see her body.

159
00:08:49,680 --> 00:08:50,960
I wanted her to see mine.

160
00:08:54,120 --> 00:08:56,560
And she pulled off my slip, I looked
her square in the eye,

161
00:08:56,560 --> 00:08:57,960
and she looked back.

162
00:08:59,360 --> 00:09:01,920
<font color="
took it,

163
00:09:01,920 --> 00:09:04,160
and she led me down to the
multicoloured bed.

164
00:09:06,040 --> 00:09:07,600
And then she took our underwear off.

165
00:09:10,720 --> 00:09:13,800
And then she lay down next to me,
and then she started to touch me.

166
00:09:17,720 --> 00:09:18,760
At first, it was...

167
00:09:20,760 --> 00:09:21,920
<font color="

168
00:09:23,200 --> 00:09:24,880
..like fluttering over my skin.

169
00:09:24,880 --> 00:09:25,920
Pausing at me...

170
00:09:27,320 --> 00:09:30,920
..neck, and nipple, belly,

171
00:09:33,560 --> 00:09:39,800
it's like her hands wanted to make
contact with every part of my skin.

172
00:09:39,800 --> 00:09:42,160
Like, trace the shape of the bones
underneath.

173
00:09:45,200 --> 00:09:46,840
<font color="

174
00:09:47,880 --> 00:09:49,920
Like, gliding when she wanted to.

175
00:09:49,920 --> 00:09:51,280
Tickling the creases.

176
00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:55,320
Reaching up to my face,

177
00:09:55,320 --> 00:09:58,000
my ears, my eyes, my nose, my lips,
and...

178
00:09:59,880 --> 00:10:00,920
..down again.

179
00:10:03,120 --> 00:10:05,560
My eyes flew open and shut.

180
00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:10,720
And... Open, shut.

181
00:10:13,240 --> 00:10:15,200
<font color="

182
00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:17,800
opened my legs, letting her trace
her fingers there.

183
00:10:20,360 --> 00:10:22,080
I know you're thinking she went

184
00:10:22,080 --> 00:10:24,320
straight for the inside, but she
didn't.

185
00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:29,080
The first thing she did was...

186
00:10:30,440 --> 00:10:31,480
..grab me, and say...

187
00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:36,080
"Oh, my God, these are incredibly
<font color="

188
00:10:36,080 --> 00:10:37,920
"What?"

189
00:10:37,920 --> 00:10:39,200
My legs shut, and I sat up.

190
00:10:41,600 --> 00:10:45,240
"Why? Why would you say that? Why?"

191
00:10:46,560 --> 00:10:48,800
"It's just an observation."

192
00:10:48,800 --> 00:10:49,840
"Compared to who?"

193
00:10:51,040 --> 00:10:53,160
Vera opened her legs, of course,

194
00:10:53,160 --> 00:10:54,920
hers were elegant, little dainty
things.

195
00:10:54,920 --> 00:10:56,280
<font color="

196
00:10:56,280 --> 00:10:57,320
"Don't be silly."

197
00:10:58,800 --> 00:11:01,480
"You look pretty, like a flower,
if I do this."

198
00:11:01,480 --> 00:11:03,160
"It's not origami!"

199
00:11:05,480 --> 00:11:06,520
"All right."

200
00:11:08,080 --> 00:11:09,120
"Lie down."

201
00:11:14,080 --> 00:11:16,320
I lay back on the bed,
and her hand descended.

202
00:11:17,640 --> 00:11:20,800
<font color="
was searching for something.

203
00:11:20,800 --> 00:11:22,000
Under the skin, at the top.

204
00:11:23,320 --> 00:11:26,600
Like the bones she was tracing, only
this wasn't bone.

205
00:11:26,600 --> 00:11:28,120
And when she found it, she moved her

206
00:11:28,120 --> 00:11:29,840
fingers across, and round and down

207
00:11:29,840 --> 00:11:33,440
and back up. And I felt a click,
<font color="

208
00:11:33,440 --> 00:11:35,320
and I twitched, and she pressed
a bit harder.

209
00:11:36,640 --> 00:11:39,200
Then the click happened again, and I
clenched deep within.

210
00:11:39,200 --> 00:11:42,400
Then her fingers slipped,
but I moved them back.

211
00:11:42,400 --> 00:11:45,320
"Don't stop," I was thinking,
"Please, don't stop."

212
00:11:45,320 --> 00:11:47,000
<font color="

213
00:11:48,400 --> 00:11:51,880
And again. And then a string pulled
tight somewhere in me.

214
00:11:51,880 --> 00:11:54,920
My insides were clenching, and her
fingers were moving,

215
00:11:54,920 --> 00:11:58,240
but I wanted her to press harder, so
I raised my hips,

216
00:11:58,240 --> 00:12:00,160
and my mind got really, really
<font color="

217
00:12:00,160 --> 00:12:02,440
and then my nipples were harder.

218
00:12:02,440 --> 00:12:04,280
I held my breath. And my arms rose
up, and

219
00:12:04,280 --> 00:12:06,600
I... grabbed the headboard,
and my hips were thrusting,

220
00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:07,760
and the clenches were coming.

221
00:12:07,760 --> 00:12:09,360
And I held my breath,
and my legs went up,

222
00:12:09,360 --> 00:12:11,720
<font color="
I knew where we were going.

223
00:12:11,720 --> 00:12:13,400
She can't go there,
but she was going there.

224
00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:15,480
And I wanted her to go there.
We were both going there,

225
00:12:15,480 --> 00:12:17,800
to the place that called to me,
deep inside,

226
00:12:17,800 --> 00:12:19,960
<font color="
and the sound in me throat.

227
00:12:19,960 --> 00:12:22,120
And it was black and white,
and purple, and gold,

228
00:12:22,120 --> 00:12:23,840
and stunning, and glittering.

229
00:12:23,840 --> 00:12:25,560
Rude, and funny, and

230
00:12:25,560 --> 00:12:27,840
thrilling and...

231
00:12:31,640 --> 00:12:32,680
..mine.

232
00:12:36,360 --> 00:12:38,280
All mine.

233
00:12:42,680 --> 00:12:44,560
<font color="

234
00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:56,760
I lay there for a bit as the lava
just bubbled through me, thinking...

235
00:13:03,600 --> 00:13:05,400
"Oh."

236
00:13:07,320 --> 00:13:09,440
PHONE RINGS

237
00:13:10,520 --> 00:13:12,760
Because a lot of things
suddenly made sense.

238
00:13:14,840 --> 00:13:16,760
The church sermons.

239
00:13:16,760 --> 00:13:18,560
Laura's book incident.

240
00:13:18,560 --> 00:13:20,160
My mum's warnings.

241
00:13:20,160 --> 00:13:22,080
<font color="

242
00:13:22,080 --> 00:13:23,400
The lunch rota.

243
00:13:23,400 --> 00:13:26,320
It was all in some way
stopping this from happening.

244
00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:31,600
And right under their fucking noses,
we did it anyway.

245
00:13:33,240 --> 00:13:34,840
We did it to each other.

246
00:13:37,480 --> 00:13:39,120
She let me touch her afterwards.

247
00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:41,920
<font color="

248
00:13:43,720 --> 00:13:45,400
..drew a fast breath.

249
00:13:47,560 --> 00:13:49,720
"Isn't it amazing?" she said.

250
00:13:52,160 --> 00:13:54,640
"There's something holy about it."

251
00:13:56,280 --> 00:13:58,160
I nodded, solemnly.

252
00:13:58,160 --> 00:14:00,400
Wanting to say something perfect.

253
00:14:02,600 --> 00:14:04,560
"Thank you for the honour," I said.

254
00:14:07,600 --> 00:14:09,160
She burst out laughing.

255
00:14:10,120 --> 00:14:14,560
<font color="
at myself, and it was OK.

256
00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:18,200
We got up, dressed,
and I hugged her goodbye.

257
00:14:19,840 --> 00:14:22,160
She'll be on to someone else
next week, and...

258
00:14:23,360 --> 00:14:24,640
..I felt unselfish about it.

259
00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:30,280
As I walked home,

260
00:14:30,280 --> 00:14:32,760
fizzing, I inhaled the air.

261
00:14:39,360 --> 00:14:41,160
<font color="

262
00:14:42,720 --> 00:14:44,000
Does Pam live around here?

263
00:14:48,320 --> 00:14:50,600
"Thanks, Pam," I whispered.

264
00:14:52,840 --> 00:14:54,520
I passed Laura's house,

265
00:14:54,520 --> 00:14:56,720
and I thought about knocking,
but I didn't.

266
00:14:58,000 --> 00:14:59,560
I'll tell her that some point.

267
00:14:59,560 --> 00:15:01,040
But...

268
00:15:02,080 --> 00:15:03,720
..just for now...

269
00:15:07,600 --> 00:15:09,320
..it was mine.

270
00:15:12,040 --> 00:15:13,560
<font color="