1
00:02:52,654 --> 00:02:54,133
What's the prognosis, Corporal?
2
00:02:57,259 --> 00:02:58,259
Mama Mia!
3
00:03:00,128 --> 00:03:02,165
Well if that ain't the cat's meow.
4
00:03:04,566 --> 00:03:06,126
As much as I have a fondness for pussy,
5
00:03:06,735 --> 00:03:08,476
I suggest we skip
the oral lesson, Captain
6
00:03:08,837 --> 00:03:10,077
And how, Sergeant Weaver.
7
00:06:17,926 --> 00:06:18,926
Say, Captain...
8
00:06:19,594 --> 00:06:21,767
I saw 'A Yank in the Rank"
three times,
9
00:06:22,130 --> 00:06:24,474
and you and Judy Garland
make a fine couple, sir.
10
00:06:24,533 --> 00:06:26,706
So you're the sucker
that came to see that movie, huh?
11
00:06:26,735 --> 00:06:28,715
Yeah sucker three times over, sir.
12
00:06:28,737 --> 00:06:30,582
Well you should've made it
ten times, Ishbak,
13
00:06:30,639 --> 00:06:32,516
they might of run it a second week.
14
00:06:33,808 --> 00:06:35,048
"North-West Mounted Police"
15
00:06:35,377 --> 00:06:36,856
"Billy the Kid's Gun Justice"
16
00:06:36,912 --> 00:06:39,324
I've seen them all, but
"A Yank in the Rank,"
17
00:06:39,915 --> 00:06:41,215
that's my favorite, sir.
18
00:06:41,917 --> 00:06:43,032
You know...
19
00:06:43,200 --> 00:06:47,030
I haven't looked at another girl's legs
since that night we left.
20
00:06:47,055 --> 00:06:48,398
Well I've looked at other men.
21
00:06:48,924 --> 00:06:51,785
Yeah, but I bet you didn't look at them
the same way you looked at me...
22
00:06:51,809 --> 00:06:54,532
- That first night in Kansas City!
- That first night in Kansas City.
23
00:06:56,097 --> 00:06:57,097
Ah, it's a dilly.
24
00:06:57,499 --> 00:07:01,914
You know, when you beat this outfit
you oughta go into show business.
25
00:07:02,037 --> 00:07:05,211
Maybe... maybe you'll introduce me
to Judy Garland, hey Captain?
26
00:07:05,607 --> 00:07:06,711
Why...
27
00:07:07,042 --> 00:07:09,352
I'll introduce you to a
great many things, Ishbak.
28
00:07:16,117 --> 00:07:18,955
Say... Australia's some crazy place, huh?
29
00:07:19,154 --> 00:07:20,994
Like you seen the animals
they got around here?
30
00:07:21,356 --> 00:07:23,063
"Boing, boing, boing"
31
00:07:23,692 --> 00:07:25,085
Ain't none of them as bad ass
32
00:07:25,085 --> 00:07:27,265
as the Chupacabra we got
back home in Tornado Alley.
33
00:07:27,495 --> 00:07:29,771
No, Updike, you're a punch-drunk
hay-burner,
34
00:07:29,830 --> 00:07:31,673
everyone knows the 'chapa-cabra'
don't exist.
35
00:07:31,979 --> 00:07:35,846
Hey, Barelli, if y'all's a guinea, how come
you ain't in Italy kissin' Mussolini's ass?
36
00:07:36,338 --> 00:07:39,080
- To hell with you, you dumb rube.
- Now, now, boys...
37
00:07:39,308 --> 00:07:41,049
we're all batting
for the same team here.
38
00:07:42,210 --> 00:07:44,713
- All for the same team.
- I don't care what you goofs think,
39
00:07:44,980 --> 00:07:46,540
I'm as Uncle Sam as the rest of ya's.
40
00:07:47,082 --> 00:07:48,686
Three generations all in Brooklyn,
41
00:07:48,917 --> 00:07:51,193
I might be a wop but I ain't no fascist.
42
00:07:51,753 --> 00:07:53,373
You seen what those guys
done to Sicily?
43
00:07:53,822 --> 00:07:56,528
Brooklyn? When the hell'd that
become part of the States?
44
00:07:56,725 --> 00:07:59,228
Say, if we do get invaded,
and there's a last stand,
45
00:07:59,661 --> 00:08:01,397
it'll be in Brooklyn. Jeez...
46
00:08:01,667 --> 00:08:04,315
there's some neighborhoods
even I wouldn't walk into.
47
00:08:41,936 --> 00:08:44,812
This is it boys,
guess we hoof it from here on in.
48
00:08:46,774 --> 00:08:48,583
I've never seen a puma before, Sarge,
49
00:08:49,210 --> 00:08:50,210
what am I meant to do?
50
00:08:50,611 --> 00:08:51,715
Shoot them, you idiot!
51
00:08:52,864 --> 00:08:53,864
Dang!
52
00:08:53,933 --> 00:08:57,385
Now if that ain't the biggest purple-helmeted
snot-Nazi I ever did see.
53
00:08:59,320 --> 00:09:01,131
Look at it and weep, Updike.
54
00:09:02,690 --> 00:09:04,531
What if I wipe your ass with it,
Mussolini?
55
00:09:05,159 --> 00:09:08,333
Yeah, you wipe your ass
with this, Updike,
56
00:09:08,529 --> 00:09:09,872
might just get you into heaven.
57
00:09:11,098 --> 00:09:13,476
It looks like you're about
to wet your pants, Ishbak.
58
00:09:13,834 --> 00:09:16,815
The last puma I saw, Sergeant,
was at the San Diego Zoo.
59
00:09:17,171 --> 00:09:18,707
Well at least it was behind bars.
60
00:09:23,411 --> 00:09:24,411
Captain...
61
00:09:38,526 --> 00:09:41,370
Aw, Jesus of the pure earth.
62
00:09:46,534 --> 00:09:47,834
Ah, minchia...
63
00:09:59,213 --> 00:10:02,279
Looks like this good ol' boy was
trying to do himself a little huntin'.
64
00:10:04,652 --> 00:10:08,600
Stupid kangaroo fucker,
takin' on a God damn puma.
65
00:10:09,690 --> 00:10:12,966
As if a little pop gun like this
would scratch those kitty cats.
66
00:10:22,336 --> 00:10:24,976
Alright, Sergeant, I wanna be on the
top of that ridge by sunset.
67
00:10:26,807 --> 00:10:29,048
We bring those pumas tonight,
tomorrow will be duck soup.
68
00:10:29,210 --> 00:10:32,123
Yes, sir. Alright boys,
you've got three minutes,
69
00:10:32,413 --> 00:10:34,552
then I want a chorus
of "Teddy Bear's Picnic."
70
00:10:34,849 --> 00:10:37,591
Barelli, Ishbak,
you got detail on the coffin.
71
00:10:38,686 --> 00:10:41,326
Updike, you think you can get
Muhammad to the mountain?
72
00:10:41,722 --> 00:10:44,530
Enough dynamite, Sarge
and I'll get the mountain to Muhammad.
73
00:10:44,559 --> 00:10:45,659
Atta boy!
74
00:10:47,161 --> 00:10:50,973
- Ishbak, get your ass over here.
- Comin', Sarge, right away.
75
00:10:51,599 --> 00:10:52,805
Son of a bitch.
76
00:10:54,568 --> 00:10:57,506
What the fuck's in this thing anyway,
Sarge, your old lady?
77
00:10:57,605 --> 00:11:00,581
Yeah, maybe one of those wop dames
from Esposito's pork store, Barelli.
78
00:11:00,775 --> 00:11:03,551
So Italians like to eat, you think
we got a choice in the matter?
79
00:11:03,811 --> 00:11:05,571
Can the horseplay, Barelli,
and get moving,
80
00:11:05,813 --> 00:11:07,759
- we're burning daylight.
- Yes, Sarge.
81
00:11:09,450 --> 00:11:11,020
You should see how my mama eats.
82
00:11:17,691 --> 00:11:22,037
Say, Captain, what's that Nazi-loving
eye-tie doing on this detail anyhow?
83
00:11:22,897 --> 00:11:25,741
I mean, they're God damn
National Socialists, sir.
84
00:11:27,168 --> 00:11:30,274
Orders from the top, Corporal.
Ours is not to reason why.
85
00:11:30,638 --> 00:11:33,585
Yeah, well I don't like shipping out
with no fascist.
86
00:11:34,442 --> 00:11:36,183
This detail's crummy enough as it is.
87
00:11:39,146 --> 00:11:42,997
All that we are is the result
of what we've thought,
88
00:11:43,250 --> 00:11:46,494
what we think is what we become.
89
00:11:48,456 --> 00:11:50,667
"Billy the Kid's Gun Justice." Scene 42.
90
00:11:51,859 --> 00:11:54,626
Don't go getting all nickelled
and dimed, Updike.
91
00:12:02,770 --> 00:12:05,478
Okay boys, round 'em up
and move 'em out.
92
00:12:20,554 --> 00:12:22,256
You boys drop that transmitter
93
00:12:22,289 --> 00:12:24,394
you'll be down three weeks
in the hoosegow.
94
00:12:25,092 --> 00:12:26,298
We'll be careful, Sarge.
95
00:12:27,728 --> 00:12:28,763
God damn right you will.
96
00:12:48,649 --> 00:12:51,755
Say, Sarge, can we get
The Andrew Sisters on this thing?
97
00:12:51,886 --> 00:12:53,832
"Beep, beep, baby, eight to the bar..."
98
00:12:54,154 --> 00:12:55,674
That ain't no crystal set, Barelli,
99
00:12:55,723 --> 00:12:57,532
doesn't pick up signals,
it sends 'em out.
100
00:12:57,691 --> 00:12:59,693
Ultra high frequencies
to attract the pumas.
101
00:13:00,895 --> 00:13:02,465
Like a dog signal right, Sarge?
102
00:13:02,796 --> 00:13:04,673
We had this old hunting dog
back home,
103
00:13:04,732 --> 00:13:06,609
as quick as all get-out
when my daddy blew that whistle.
104
00:13:06,800 --> 00:13:08,746
Oh that's exactly what it is, Updike,
105
00:13:09,169 --> 00:13:11,615
only damn more expensive
than your old daddy's dog whistle.
106
00:13:11,939 --> 00:13:15,648
Hey, Captain, how come the 96 couldn't
keep a racoon like everybody else, huh?
107
00:13:15,976 --> 00:13:18,956
Well, they wanted Lana Turner but
she was busy servicing the Joint Chiefs.
108
00:13:19,713 --> 00:13:21,890
Say, didn't the 91st have a pet monkey?
109
00:13:22,016 --> 00:13:24,206
Nah, that was the general's wife. Ha!
110
00:13:24,418 --> 00:13:26,176
Maybe it was a kraut-loving gippo.
111
00:13:26,254 --> 00:13:27,330
Can it, Corporal.
112
00:13:27,355 --> 00:13:30,651
We wouldn't be on this dumb-ass detail
if that rube wop didn't roll his truck.
113
00:13:30,691 --> 00:13:32,637
I said can it!
114
00:14:34,655 --> 00:14:36,794
Take it easy with that box, guys.
115
00:14:39,093 --> 00:14:41,073
Alright, smoke 'em if you got 'em.
116
00:14:58,146 --> 00:15:00,284
Oh, holy smokes!
117
00:15:02,150 --> 00:15:04,793
You stinking, worthless kike!
118
00:15:05,986 --> 00:15:07,465
I was just taking a swig, Sarge!
119
00:15:07,688 --> 00:15:10,688
Yeah, try taking a swig while I shove
that canteen up your tight Jewish ass!
120
00:15:10,758 --> 00:15:12,601
Don't go all hard-boiled, Sergeant.
121
00:15:12,693 --> 00:15:14,413
- He didn't do it on purpose.
- God damn it!
122
00:15:14,695 --> 00:15:17,255
A whole stack of man hours went
into building this contraption...
123
00:15:17,598 --> 00:15:18,838
a whole stack of man hours.
124
00:15:21,499 --> 00:15:24,762
Guys, I just hate to make you hump it
all this way up this mountain for nothin'.
125
00:15:27,207 --> 00:15:29,517
Okay, Private? Barelli?
126
00:15:35,449 --> 00:15:36,449
Pick it up.
127
00:15:46,659 --> 00:15:49,273
Updike, back on point.
This ain't a hog-tyin'.
128
00:15:54,769 --> 00:15:58,148
Shit, I can't figure
why you bums are with us.
129
00:15:59,407 --> 00:16:00,784
Screwball Jew-ball,
130
00:16:02,043 --> 00:16:05,320
and a no good ginzo.
Ought to be a law against y'all.
131
00:16:07,014 --> 00:16:08,850
Quit gold-brickin', keep movin'...
132
00:16:09,283 --> 00:16:11,079
you got me to deal with.
133
00:16:55,529 --> 00:16:57,989
- Captain, how much further?
- Not far.
134
00:17:00,368 --> 00:17:04,203
This will do, find a flat spot
over here, flat and level put it down.
135
00:17:06,273 --> 00:17:08,042
Put it on a flat spot, for God sake.
136
00:17:09,410 --> 00:17:10,410
Aw, jeepers...
137
00:17:11,645 --> 00:17:13,720
- And take it easy!
- Yes, Sarge.
138
00:17:15,816 --> 00:17:17,857
Right there take it easy, easy, easy.
139
00:17:36,837 --> 00:17:38,380
Everything kosher down there,
Sergeant?
140
00:17:38,506 --> 00:17:41,099
Sweet as a lullaby, Captain,
sweet as a lullaby.
141
00:17:43,477 --> 00:17:44,577
And, behold...
142
00:17:46,180 --> 00:17:48,457
God made the heavens
and the pure earth.
143
00:17:50,818 --> 00:17:53,846
God's absent without leave, Sergeant,
or don't you watch the newsreels?
144
00:17:53,854 --> 00:17:55,624
You don't believe
in a higher power, Captain?
145
00:17:55,722 --> 00:17:58,851
I put faith in my own instincts
before some imaginary sky-fairy.
146
00:17:59,527 --> 00:18:03,397
If I wasn't an Atheist before Hollywood,
I sure as heck am now.
147
00:18:05,299 --> 00:18:06,299
Rest the men, Sergeant.
148
00:18:07,034 --> 00:18:08,138
Yes sir, Captain.
149
00:18:10,337 --> 00:18:11,337
Captain...
150
00:18:12,873 --> 00:18:14,853
I go the way that
providence dictates sir,
151
00:18:15,276 --> 00:18:17,256
with all the assurance of a sleepwalker.
152
00:18:19,413 --> 00:18:22,223
I'll keep that in mind, Sergeant.
Dismissed.
153
00:18:25,052 --> 00:18:27,928
Okay you bunch of goldbricks,
get off your asses, we've got work to do.
154
00:18:28,055 --> 00:18:30,637
- Updike, I want some bait out ASAP.
- Sergeant.
155
00:18:30,724 --> 00:18:33,666
Barelli, get some communication
going with HQ.
156
00:18:33,727 --> 00:18:37,060
- Yes, Sarge.
- Ishbak, you got detail on the latrine.
157
00:18:37,198 --> 00:18:39,341
Oh come on, Sarge, I did it last week!
158
00:18:39,433 --> 00:18:41,310
So do it again this week!
Move your ass!
159
00:18:41,335 --> 00:18:42,678
Oh, you gotta be kidding me...
160
00:18:52,436 --> 00:18:56,234
(indistinct rhythmic whispering)
161
00:18:59,925 --> 00:19:04,144
(indistinct rhythmic whispering continues)
162
00:19:08,796 --> 00:19:11,675
We've always been here... waiting for you,
163
00:19:12,333 --> 00:19:14,870
to take you back to the stars.
164
00:19:29,850 --> 00:19:31,158
Oh, man.
165
00:19:43,030 --> 00:19:46,661
Shit! Don't matter how much
of this God damn slop I eat,
166
00:19:46,834 --> 00:19:48,506
this stuff ain't fit for a two year old.
167
00:19:48,636 --> 00:19:51,378
Aw, don't be a nudnik, Updike,
quit your whinin'.
168
00:19:51,805 --> 00:19:56,672
Say, Captain, do you think after the war
you can get me a shot in Hollywood, hm?
169
00:19:56,877 --> 00:19:58,485
And put Lon Chaney out of a job?
170
00:19:59,280 --> 00:20:01,884
I love that big death scene
in "Screaming Leathernecks," Captain,
171
00:20:02,116 --> 00:20:04,187
where you fled Germany
with those five orphans,
172
00:20:04,285 --> 00:20:05,923
that was some swell picture, sir.
173
00:20:06,053 --> 00:20:08,239
You saw that, too?
What are you, a masochist?
174
00:20:09,790 --> 00:20:11,328
Not that I know of, sir.
175
00:20:11,492 --> 00:20:13,606
Yeah, that death scene was my idea,
176
00:20:13,761 --> 00:20:16,043
RKO hated it,
but I talked Scheaffer around.
177
00:20:16,063 --> 00:20:18,297
It was the best scene in the God damn
picture. Got nominated, you know.
178
00:20:18,299 --> 00:20:20,099
- Wow!
- A good looking boy like you, Captain,
179
00:20:20,568 --> 00:20:23,528
I bet those Hollywood dames was just
begging you to bang their brains out.
180
00:20:23,638 --> 00:20:26,209
Ooh-la-la! Like Judy Garland,
hey Captain?
181
00:20:26,407 --> 00:20:28,318
Say, did you get to bang her too?
182
00:20:29,080 --> 00:20:30,176
Might have.
183
00:20:30,811 --> 00:20:33,681
Come on, Captain, we'd sure
appreciate some juicy details.
184
00:20:34,114 --> 00:20:36,094
Yeah come on Cap, let us know.
185
00:20:36,150 --> 00:20:38,096
Yeah, Captain,
what have you got to hide?
186
00:20:38,452 --> 00:20:40,932
Oh, no sir, I'm trying to,
I'm trying to give up butts...
187
00:20:41,055 --> 00:20:42,495
No, take a closer look, Ishbak.
188
00:20:47,494 --> 00:20:48,905
Go on, Ishbak, what's it say?
189
00:20:49,296 --> 00:20:52,243
To the sexiest man I know, J.G.
190
00:20:53,434 --> 00:20:55,345
Wow! Judy Garland?
191
00:20:55,803 --> 00:20:58,408
You banged Judy Garland, sir?
Ain't that the berries!
192
00:20:59,106 --> 00:21:01,546
How about you, Ishbak?
How'd you end up in this outfit?
193
00:21:03,210 --> 00:21:06,412
- I mean, you'll all belly-laugh sir.
- No we won't,
194
00:21:06,514 --> 00:21:08,788
we're all friends here, beat your gums.
195
00:21:11,018 --> 00:21:12,466
My father's a Rabbi in New York,
196
00:21:13,120 --> 00:21:15,294
wanted me to join the Yeshiva,
197
00:21:16,257 --> 00:21:19,500
but I started wondering, sir,
where it was that God actually lived,
198
00:21:20,094 --> 00:21:21,232
and more importantly, sir,
199
00:21:21,996 --> 00:21:23,634
where it was that war actually lived,
200
00:21:24,732 --> 00:21:27,713
and the conclusion I came to, sir,
was that both God and war
201
00:21:28,202 --> 00:21:29,738
live inside ourselves,
202
00:21:30,371 --> 00:21:32,942
and the moment we get the fires
of peace stoked again,
203
00:21:33,240 --> 00:21:35,151
the sooner we'll all get on
with our lives.
204
00:21:36,577 --> 00:21:37,954
That's why I enlisted.
205
00:21:38,679 --> 00:21:39,680
Who would of thought,
206
00:21:40,080 --> 00:21:42,760
you're pretty fucking smart
for a kid, Ishbak. I'll give you that.
207
00:21:43,083 --> 00:21:44,584
But, but there's one more thing I want,
208
00:21:44,585 --> 00:21:46,087
one thing I want
more than anything on earth...
209
00:21:46,120 --> 00:21:47,599
Spit it out, Ishbak.
210
00:21:48,889 --> 00:21:51,927
Is to be a player, sir,
to be an actor just like you.
211
00:21:52,760 --> 00:21:55,873
- One born every minute.
- Aw, it's okay, Ishbak, good for you.
212
00:21:56,597 --> 00:21:58,042
A man should know what he wants,
213
00:21:58,132 --> 00:22:02,012
I mean if a ham like me can make it
on the silver screen, you sure as hell can.
214
00:22:03,170 --> 00:22:06,051
You boys might be content
with puttin' on makeup
215
00:22:06,051 --> 00:22:08,382
and prancing around like
a bunch of pansies in fancy dress.
216
00:22:08,643 --> 00:22:10,194
I got me a man's ambition.
217
00:22:10,645 --> 00:22:12,854
Well, don't keep it pent up, Corporal.
218
00:22:14,449 --> 00:22:16,485
I'm gonna be
President of the United States.
219
00:22:18,453 --> 00:22:19,922
Well, that is a dilly!
220
00:22:20,688 --> 00:22:22,651
Go ahead and laugh,
you bunch of blue-noses,
221
00:22:22,723 --> 00:22:25,534
you'll all see, my daddy's a senator,
222
00:22:25,693 --> 00:22:27,453
he's gonna grease that ladder for me...
223
00:22:27,895 --> 00:22:29,314
nice and slippery like.
224
00:22:31,732 --> 00:22:33,830
You got a problem with my daddy, boy?
225
00:22:34,135 --> 00:22:35,826
Take it easy, Updike.
226
00:22:38,372 --> 00:22:40,674
I ain't the one with the problem,
Corporal Updike,
227
00:22:40,774 --> 00:22:43,336
but, ah, I just like to keep
my opinions to myself.
228
00:22:44,812 --> 00:22:46,146
No go on, Barelli.
229
00:22:46,647 --> 00:22:49,358
Speak your piece,
that's what we're fightin' for.
230
00:22:54,689 --> 00:22:58,364
The American people
ain't stupid, Corporal Updike.
231
00:22:58,693 --> 00:23:00,434
They're about as likely to elect a dumb
232
00:23:00,561 --> 00:23:03,229
redneck cracker
asshole like you for President
233
00:23:03,397 --> 00:23:07,160
as they are a dime-store wop like me.
234
00:23:11,772 --> 00:23:14,719
- Why you...!
- Easy, Updike, take it easy.
235
00:23:15,209 --> 00:23:16,576
At ease.
236
00:23:19,510 --> 00:23:20,806
You're funny, Barelli.
237
00:23:21,215 --> 00:23:24,348
You're a real funny boy.
I like you.
238
00:23:24,448 --> 00:23:27,399
Yeah, well, I think the President
should be a straight talking man,
239
00:23:27,655 --> 00:23:28,655
a man of values.
240
00:23:28,756 --> 00:23:30,596
Someone the average
Joe can relate to, not some
241
00:23:30,691 --> 00:23:33,054
East Coast intellectual,
or pinko liberal.
242
00:23:33,694 --> 00:23:36,773
I think it's a fine idea, Updike,
a mighty fine idea.
243
00:23:36,831 --> 00:23:38,791
Alright, I've had enough
of this bullshit, let's go.
244
00:23:38,899 --> 00:23:41,438
Let's get this show on the road.
Barelli, I want you on the God spot,
245
00:23:41,535 --> 00:23:43,381
if you see one of them pumas,
you nail its ass.
246
00:23:43,471 --> 00:23:44,675
Yes, sir.
247
00:23:49,844 --> 00:23:50,914
Fucker.
248
00:26:35,592 --> 00:26:37,411
Hah! President...
249
00:26:49,589 --> 00:26:50,869
Warm you up, Captain?
250
00:26:51,191 --> 00:26:53,260
Pasadena, Sergeant, thank you.
251
00:29:59,083 --> 00:30:06,917
(whispering)
252
00:30:13,193 --> 00:30:19,972
(whispering intensifies)
253
00:30:42,389 --> 00:30:44,335
Captain, wake up! The pumas are here!
254
00:30:44,591 --> 00:30:46,332
Wake up, Captain, they're here!
Come on,
255
00:30:46,393 --> 00:30:47,963
get up, get up!
256
00:30:57,137 --> 00:30:58,878
We couldn't wake you, sir.
257
00:31:00,874 --> 00:31:02,410
Over do you read me? Over...
258
00:31:16,956 --> 00:31:17,956
Is it a puma?
259
00:31:18,558 --> 00:31:19,862
Ain't no puma that big.
260
00:31:19,893 --> 00:31:21,736
Or some kind of bear, Updike?
Was it a bear?
261
00:31:22,262 --> 00:31:23,263
Ain't no bear, neither.
262
00:31:23,596 --> 00:31:25,659
I picked a hell of a time
to give up butts.
263
00:31:53,827 --> 00:31:55,966
- Updike. Get back on the point.
- Yes sir.
264
00:31:56,629 --> 00:31:58,029
We're gettin' the hell out of here.
265
00:31:59,532 --> 00:32:00,636
Slow down, Captain.
266
00:32:05,142 --> 00:32:06,210
Holy smokes!
267
00:32:38,037 --> 00:32:39,443
Updike, where the hell are we?
268
00:32:39,572 --> 00:32:42,397
Dang! This is the right direction,
I'm sure of it!
269
00:32:42,509 --> 00:32:44,819
Well this is due east,
we followed the same path down.
270
00:32:44,845 --> 00:32:46,151
Yeah, so where's the Jeep, huh?
271
00:32:46,213 --> 00:32:48,083
Hell, I must be losin' my marbles.
272
00:32:48,215 --> 00:32:51,394
It should be here, right here... damn!
273
00:32:55,489 --> 00:32:56,689
Say, Captain...
274
00:32:57,958 --> 00:32:59,515
I think you need to see this.
275
00:33:11,238 --> 00:33:14,598
Shoot, some kangaroo fucker stole
the God damn Jeep.
276
00:33:14,698 --> 00:33:17,725
Yeah, and I think some kangaroo fucker's
stolen the God damn road!
277
00:33:17,825 --> 00:33:18,943
What are you an idiot?!
278
00:33:19,045 --> 00:33:20,914
Jesus of the pure earth...
279
00:33:21,281 --> 00:33:24,135
It worked... it actually worked!
280
00:33:24,235 --> 00:33:25,911
What are you talking about, Sergeant?
281
00:33:38,098 --> 00:33:40,193
You expect me to believe
this flour-flushing shit?
282
00:33:40,193 --> 00:33:42,430
I know you don't believe
in anything, Captain,
283
00:33:42,569 --> 00:33:44,474
no need to reinforce the fact.
284
00:33:45,238 --> 00:33:46,936
You're O.S.S? A Colonel?
285
00:33:47,373 --> 00:33:51,569
It's not the road that's gone
gentlemen, we have.
286
00:33:52,078 --> 00:33:54,567
This "radio transmitter"
287
00:33:55,282 --> 00:33:57,237
is a time machine...
288
00:33:58,685 --> 00:34:01,900
a time... machine.
289
00:34:09,996 --> 00:34:13,088
We've gone backward,
difficult to say how far,
290
00:34:13,800 --> 00:34:16,556
approximately fifty thousand years.
291
00:34:16,770 --> 00:34:18,939
Beggin' your pardon, Sarge, but,
292
00:34:19,172 --> 00:34:20,774
have you completely lost your marbles?
293
00:34:21,074 --> 00:34:23,034
You shouldn't talk that way
to a superior officer.
294
00:34:23,176 --> 00:34:26,016
Yeah that's right, Barelli, don't talk
that way to a superior officer.
295
00:34:26,279 --> 00:34:27,622
This is bullshit!
296
00:34:28,081 --> 00:34:31,405
A psych operation, a trick, and one
I should have been informed of.
297
00:34:31,415 --> 00:34:33,924
That thing that attacked us
was a marsupial lion,
298
00:34:34,054 --> 00:34:36,350
extinct in our time, but not in this one.
299
00:34:36,356 --> 00:34:37,356
Updike!
300
00:34:37,557 --> 00:34:40,363
- Plot us a course back to the base.
- There is no base.
301
00:34:40,460 --> 00:34:42,702
Everything within a two-mile radius
of that transmitter
302
00:34:42,712 --> 00:34:44,074
has been shipped back in time.
303
00:34:44,130 --> 00:34:46,964
- Our jeep's right where we left it.
- In 1943?
304
00:34:47,064 --> 00:34:48,243
Now you're on the trolley.
305
00:34:48,802 --> 00:34:50,482
No one knew if the coffin would work,
306
00:34:51,204 --> 00:34:54,518
might've done nothing,
might've killed all of us.
307
00:34:55,208 --> 00:34:57,355
And this mission might still be
a one-way ticket.
308
00:34:57,455 --> 00:34:59,564
Man, you are completely nuts!
309
00:34:59,664 --> 00:35:01,846
Don't pretend like you
just got off the boat.
310
00:35:01,846 --> 00:35:04,024
Negative! You put this entire squad
in jeopardy.
311
00:35:04,050 --> 00:35:06,556
And gladly, I'm willing to die
for what I believe in.
312
00:35:06,656 --> 00:35:08,194
- Yeah what's that?
- A way of life,
313
00:35:08,254 --> 00:35:10,097
a political system that works.
314
00:35:10,290 --> 00:35:14,412
Why, I'd sacrifice myself and every one
of you to preserve those things.
315
00:35:14,694 --> 00:35:16,037
Am I right, Updike?
316
00:35:17,564 --> 00:35:18,736
Hell yes, sir.
317
00:35:19,766 --> 00:35:21,436
The way I see it, Captain,
318
00:35:22,202 --> 00:35:24,142
you ain't the one
giving' the orders anymore...
319
00:35:25,972 --> 00:35:27,630
- Y'all been demoted.
- Yeah,
320
00:35:27,974 --> 00:35:29,954
yeah, well, the way I see it, Updike, is that
321
00:35:30,076 --> 00:35:32,630
I think you've had too much
giggle-water.
322
00:35:42,088 --> 00:35:43,431
May I remind all of you,
323
00:35:43,890 --> 00:35:46,894
refusal to obey a superior officer
in a time of war is treason.
324
00:35:53,133 --> 00:35:54,476
I prepared this mission,
325
00:35:55,368 --> 00:35:59,268
I've studied all of your psychological
profiles, all of you!
326
00:36:02,609 --> 00:36:04,953
I know everybody's dirty little secrets.
327
00:36:24,197 --> 00:36:27,610
You disobey me again and I'll scrag you
good and proper, O'Brian.
328
00:36:27,934 --> 00:36:28,934
Understand?
329
00:36:31,571 --> 00:36:34,051
We've come back to the past
to save the future, gentlemen,
330
00:36:35,075 --> 00:36:37,385
to put an end to the tyranny
of Hitler's Third Reich!
331
00:36:39,045 --> 00:36:41,082
Humanity will owe you all a great debt.
332
00:36:42,048 --> 00:36:44,153
I wanna be west of those mountains
in two hours.
333
00:36:45,118 --> 00:36:46,927
Updike, hit the sixes,
you're back on point.
334
00:36:47,053 --> 00:36:48,053
Yes sir, Colonel sir.
335
00:36:48,254 --> 00:36:50,632
And Barelli, you're on fire extinguisher,
let's move out.
336
00:36:53,493 --> 00:36:55,063
Stay outta my way, grease-ball.
337
00:36:59,366 --> 00:37:01,107
Anybody can make history,
Corporal Updike,
338
00:37:02,135 --> 00:37:03,876
but only great men can write it.
339
00:37:05,505 --> 00:37:06,711
God bless America, sir.
340
00:37:11,244 --> 00:37:13,155
- Captain?
- Move out, Private.
341
00:37:13,246 --> 00:37:14,384
You heard the Colonel.
342
00:38:36,329 --> 00:38:38,409
You really believe
we've moved through time, Captain?
343
00:38:38,798 --> 00:38:41,108
I don't know
what I believe anymore, Ishbak.
344
00:38:43,036 --> 00:38:45,716
When are we gonna put that cracker
asshole back in his box, Captain?
345
00:38:48,208 --> 00:38:50,654
Upon the road of life
I stumbled into a dark wood,
346
00:38:52,078 --> 00:38:53,489
for the right path had been missed.
347
00:38:54,414 --> 00:38:56,005
What, what was that, Captain?
348
00:38:57,217 --> 00:38:59,026
"Inferno in Alabama."' Scene 27.
349
00:39:00,119 --> 00:39:01,393
Apple sauce!
350
00:39:02,322 --> 00:39:04,468
You see what kind of a fine
actor he is huh, Barelli?
351
00:39:04,524 --> 00:39:06,435
Oh jeez, if he can act us back to 1943
352
00:39:06,559 --> 00:39:08,698
I'll give the man
an Academy Award myself.
353
00:39:22,408 --> 00:39:23,580
Hold it right there.
354
00:39:33,253 --> 00:39:35,130
Jesus of the pure earth!
355
00:39:50,036 --> 00:39:51,276
Scatter! Hit the deck!
356
00:40:04,617 --> 00:40:05,617
Shit!
357
00:40:36,683 --> 00:40:38,783
What are you afraid
of, a little prick?
358
00:42:28,894 --> 00:42:31,067
Ishbak... Ishbak!
359
00:42:58,724 --> 00:43:00,260
Alright, we can't lollygag around.
360
00:43:00,592 --> 00:43:02,832
Fire up that box,
I gotta get this kid back to 1943.
361
00:43:02,928 --> 00:43:04,236
If he lives, there's no gain.
362
00:43:04,730 --> 00:43:06,334
If he dies, there's no loss.
363
00:43:07,366 --> 00:43:08,926
What the hell kind
of an animal are you?
364
00:43:09,568 --> 00:43:11,128
The kind of animal that follows orders.
365
00:43:16,775 --> 00:43:19,866
You took it out of your pants and
you should of done somethin' with it.
366
00:43:19,869 --> 00:43:23,015
- Cut it out, get back!
- I'll kill you, Barelli! Fuckin' kill you!
367
00:43:23,035 --> 00:43:25,734
Updike, that's enough!
Enough God damn it!
368
00:43:26,685 --> 00:43:27,989
Okay, Updike?
369
00:43:28,654 --> 00:43:29,654
Okay, Barelli?
370
00:43:30,689 --> 00:43:35,670
You wanna get that kid back home,
then you do what I say... what I say!
371
00:43:35,728 --> 00:43:37,839
You fucking rube,
you've condemned us all.
372
00:43:38,330 --> 00:43:41,675
Our salvation lies yonder, Captain,
now move out.
373
00:43:42,568 --> 00:43:44,673
Updike, you're on my ass... now!
374
00:43:45,571 --> 00:43:47,573
God damn bunch of 8-balls.
375
00:43:47,873 --> 00:43:51,116
God damn back-talkin' assholes!
376
00:43:52,711 --> 00:43:54,256
Anything comes sniffin'
around, Ishbak,
377
00:43:54,313 --> 00:43:56,486
you shoot it's God damn ass off,
you understand?
378
00:43:58,050 --> 00:43:59,256
I'll be right back.
379
00:45:19,331 --> 00:45:20,605
I didn't expect this.
380
00:45:23,536 --> 00:45:24,879
What were you expecting?
381
00:46:28,334 --> 00:46:29,977
Well, I'll be dipped in shit.
382
00:47:27,359 --> 00:47:29,436
We found it buried
right here in 1939...
383
00:47:29,995 --> 00:47:32,100
Decayed, corroded.
384
00:47:32,965 --> 00:47:35,145
Forgotten for over
fifty thousand years.
385
00:47:35,768 --> 00:47:37,076
Wait, you're saying
386
00:47:37,436 --> 00:47:39,621
that's where that-there box
came from, Colonel?
387
00:47:39,972 --> 00:47:42,025
That box was the only thing
salvageable,
388
00:47:42,208 --> 00:47:43,668
it's the heart of the ship...
389
00:47:43,676 --> 00:47:46,443
a quantum wave generator
that buckled time and space
390
00:47:46,543 --> 00:47:48,196
like a Barnum and Bailey Circus mirror.
391
00:47:48,647 --> 00:47:50,092
What's our mission, sir?
392
00:47:50,449 --> 00:47:54,087
Why, we're gonna fly that giant
suppository back to 1943
393
00:47:54,353 --> 00:47:56,438
and shove it up Adolf Hitler's ass.
394
00:47:57,456 --> 00:47:59,457
Those potato-mashers won't know
what hit 'em...
395
00:48:00,125 --> 00:48:04,051
Ah boys, we're gonna change
the course of human history.
396
00:48:04,997 --> 00:48:07,752
This time next year pigeons
will be crapping on our statues
397
00:48:07,852 --> 00:48:11,048
from Washington State,
to Washington D.C.
398
00:48:12,438 --> 00:48:16,070
Just what us Italians need
another fucking statue.
399
00:48:58,250 --> 00:48:59,422
God damn it!
400
00:49:04,723 --> 00:49:07,169
I'll get inside that thing
if it takes me all eternity.
401
00:49:08,394 --> 00:49:09,634
We camp here tonight!
402
00:50:01,647 --> 00:50:02,990
Don't sweat it, Private,
403
00:50:03,649 --> 00:50:06,489
that ship's electromagnetic field
scares the hell out of those critters.
404
00:50:07,653 --> 00:50:08,829
They won't come any closer.
405
00:50:08,854 --> 00:50:10,834
It ain't the critters that
are eating me, Colonel.
406
00:50:10,923 --> 00:50:13,164
It's the fact that I'm gonna have
to eat those critters.
407
00:50:29,408 --> 00:50:31,351
Where's your atheism now, O'Brian?
408
00:50:32,144 --> 00:50:34,954
Here you are at God's doorstep
but you refuse to acknowledge it.
409
00:50:35,714 --> 00:50:38,094
That chunk of metal means
there might be little green men,
410
00:50:38,183 --> 00:50:39,924
it does not mean there's a God.
411
00:50:40,152 --> 00:50:42,272
Well I think it proves definitively
that there's a God
412
00:50:42,554 --> 00:50:43,794
and he's on our side.
413
00:50:44,556 --> 00:50:46,297
That sounds like something
a Nazi'd say.
414
00:50:46,992 --> 00:50:48,266
Well, maybe they'd be right.
415
00:50:48,927 --> 00:50:51,100
Maybe the real war
isn't man against man.
416
00:50:51,897 --> 00:50:53,308
Maybe it's man against God?
417
00:50:53,932 --> 00:50:56,276
We're gonna use that ship
to overthrow God, right?
418
00:50:57,336 --> 00:50:59,077
Yeah, Updike's on the trolley,
419
00:50:59,772 --> 00:51:01,979
that's exactly
why God led us to the ship.
420
00:51:02,474 --> 00:51:03,474
Negative.
421
00:51:03,675 --> 00:51:06,884
Whatever flew that ship is long gone,
or didn't you see those graves?
422
00:51:07,479 --> 00:51:09,755
I wouldn't expect you
to agree with me, O'Brian.
423
00:51:10,649 --> 00:51:13,355
I doubt if anything like that has been
mentioned in the Torah.
424
00:51:15,354 --> 00:51:18,233
Oh, is that a revelation to you, boys?
425
00:51:19,158 --> 00:51:22,332
Our beloved Captain here
is of the Judaic persuasion.
426
00:51:23,328 --> 00:51:25,574
Donald O'Brian is a stage name.
427
00:51:26,231 --> 00:51:29,124
You wanna tell 'em
what your real handle is, Captain?
428
00:51:31,403 --> 00:51:33,246
Go on, Captain.
You got a right to speak...
429
00:51:33,605 --> 00:51:35,312
that's what we're fighting for.
430
00:51:44,249 --> 00:51:45,249
Kinderman,
431
00:51:47,553 --> 00:51:49,271
Elijah Kinderman.
432
00:51:51,323 --> 00:51:52,323
Shit!
433
00:51:52,558 --> 00:51:53,764
Well, Kinderman,
434
00:51:54,493 --> 00:51:57,665
I believe the destiny of man
is to rule the cosmos,
435
00:51:58,864 --> 00:52:04,075
to be first raised as God's children,
but then to ascend and take his place.
436
00:52:08,407 --> 00:52:09,852
We're gonna need more water.
437
00:52:11,243 --> 00:52:15,089
Corporal Updike,
go fill the Captain's canteen.
438
00:52:15,881 --> 00:52:17,224
Yes sir, Colonel, sir.
439
00:52:17,616 --> 00:52:19,994
Might as well, ah,
fill 'em all up, hey Colonel?
440
00:52:42,608 --> 00:52:45,052
Ain't nothin' I like better
than a round, full moon.
441
00:52:52,384 --> 00:52:54,579
You gonna tell me
what you want, Mussolini?
442
00:52:54,653 --> 00:52:56,599
I feel I owe you an apology.
443
00:52:58,123 --> 00:52:59,123
What?
444
00:52:59,691 --> 00:53:02,331
Well, growin' up in Brooklyn,
I seen a lot of ugly things,
445
00:53:02,561 --> 00:53:05,167
Protestants thumpin' Catholics,
Catholics thumpin' Jews,
446
00:53:05,397 --> 00:53:07,934
everyone running their own
little stinking' racket,
447
00:53:08,333 --> 00:53:10,006
talk about organized religion.
448
00:53:10,969 --> 00:53:13,045
What the hell kind
of tune are you playin'?
449
00:53:13,238 --> 00:53:14,842
I'm playing "Yankee Doodle Dandy."
450
00:53:15,040 --> 00:53:16,917
I'm playing
"The Star Spangled Banner,"
451
00:53:17,042 --> 00:53:20,023
but unless we all start singing
from the same song book,
452
00:53:20,212 --> 00:53:23,352
then those Nazi bastards
will have us singing "Lilia Marlene",
453
00:53:23,615 --> 00:53:24,616
you know what I'm saying?
454
00:53:31,723 --> 00:53:35,068
The Colonel's gone mad,
he's all balled up,
455
00:53:35,694 --> 00:53:37,901
he's never gonna get inside
that tin can.
456
00:53:38,397 --> 00:53:40,502
Ishbak's a goner
if we don't help him quick.
457
00:53:41,233 --> 00:53:43,313
So, you got a better proposition?
458
00:53:43,969 --> 00:53:45,273
We got one chance,
459
00:53:45,571 --> 00:53:49,586
one chance to repair that box
and get back to 1943
460
00:53:49,686 --> 00:53:53,854
but that ain't gonna happen unless
we all work together, capiche?
461
00:53:57,650 --> 00:54:00,742
Where I hail from a man ain't
a man unless he speaks his piece.
462
00:54:01,520 --> 00:54:03,534
I always admired
that about you, Barelli...
463
00:54:04,290 --> 00:54:05,594
You're an honorable man.
464
00:54:11,497 --> 00:54:15,553
Take my hand, Updike,
I want you to accept my apology.
465
00:54:20,573 --> 00:54:25,060
You're my ginzo bitch,
I'm gonna cut you a vagina.
466
00:54:28,647 --> 00:54:31,982
The bank is open,
I'm gonna make a deposit.
467
00:54:37,456 --> 00:54:39,531
Bye bye, eye-tie.
468
00:54:49,969 --> 00:54:52,711
Colonel! Colonel!
469
00:54:55,808 --> 00:54:57,995
He's gone! Barelli's gone!
470
00:54:59,411 --> 00:55:01,536
- What?
- 'Gator took him.
471
00:55:01,580 --> 00:55:03,792
Came out of the water
and tore him all to hell and gone.
472
00:55:03,816 --> 00:55:05,776
Are you sure he's dead?
What if he's only injured?
473
00:55:05,784 --> 00:55:08,927
No way, that critter had
itself a nice feed of dago meat.
474
00:55:08,987 --> 00:55:12,179
Why you lying sack of shit!
I'll see you court-marshaled for this!
475
00:55:12,279 --> 00:55:15,129
Fuck you, you Jew faggot,
I'll tear you a new asshole!
476
00:55:15,160 --> 00:55:18,159
The wop was dragged into the swamp,
nice and deep.
477
00:55:18,998 --> 00:55:21,437
Cut that shit out! Both of you!
478
00:55:21,734 --> 00:55:23,564
This is still a military operation.
479
00:55:24,637 --> 00:55:26,784
Any more insubordination, Corporal,
480
00:55:26,872 --> 00:55:28,640
and I'll discipline you personally.
481
00:55:28,740 --> 00:55:31,772
Either you tie a leash around
this asshole or I'll do it myself.
482
00:55:31,810 --> 00:55:34,824
There'll be no more fighting
in this outfit! Am I clear?
483
00:55:35,914 --> 00:55:38,793
I said am I clear?
484
00:55:40,085 --> 00:55:41,257
Updike?
485
00:55:41,920 --> 00:55:42,920
Yes, sir.
486
00:55:44,923 --> 00:55:47,369
Both of you, hit the sack.
487
00:55:48,761 --> 00:55:49,762
That's an order.
488
00:56:42,445 --> 00:56:47,844
(indistinct whispering)
489
00:58:59,951 --> 00:59:02,192
Come back to the stars.
490
00:59:26,444 --> 00:59:27,479
What's the ruckus?
491
00:59:39,557 --> 00:59:42,567
O'Brian, you listening to me?
492
00:59:43,595 --> 00:59:46,962
What in the Sam Hill are you doing,
going through the Colonel's property?
493
00:59:46,962 --> 00:59:50,658
He's a Colonel alright...
in the Luftwaffe.
494
00:59:50,969 --> 00:59:53,924
You expect me to believe
that bunch of slimy goose crap?
495
00:59:55,807 --> 00:59:58,056
I don't read no foreign languages.
496
00:59:59,511 --> 01:00:00,683
Then read this.
497
01:00:09,454 --> 01:00:10,524
Fuck.
498
01:00:15,093 --> 01:00:16,367
Son of a bitch!
499
01:00:44,088 --> 01:00:47,035
Colonel! Colonel!
500
01:00:48,193 --> 01:00:51,310
Come back here you God damn
son of a bitch, Colonel!
501
01:00:57,569 --> 01:00:59,071
Colonel...!
502
01:01:00,438 --> 01:01:03,287
He left us here, he left us to die!
503
01:01:03,675 --> 01:01:05,410
What're we gonna do?
504
01:01:06,044 --> 01:01:07,489
Are you listening to me, O'Brian?
505
01:01:07,679 --> 01:01:09,824
O'Brian, are you listening to me?
506
01:01:10,481 --> 01:01:13,253
- The name's Kinderman.
- Fuck.
507
01:01:36,874 --> 01:01:43,816
(indistinct whispering)
508
01:02:09,807 --> 01:02:11,487
I hope you know
what the fuck you're doing.
509
01:02:16,614 --> 01:02:17,815
Are you listening to me?
510
01:02:19,917 --> 01:02:22,397
I said, are you listening to me?
511
01:02:40,471 --> 01:02:41,541
God damn it!
512
01:03:05,096 --> 01:03:06,803
Please Lord, don't let this be a dream.
513
01:04:38,823 --> 01:04:40,024
Are we back?
514
01:04:40,491 --> 01:04:43,043
- We're back.
- How do you know we're back?
515
01:04:50,601 --> 01:04:52,512
Jesus of the pure earth...
516
01:05:34,612 --> 01:05:36,785
Oh baby! You beautiful baby!
517
01:05:37,715 --> 01:05:40,286
Oh-ho-ho baby!
518
01:05:40,451 --> 01:05:41,452
Beautiful baby.
519
01:05:42,653 --> 01:05:44,530
You God damn beautiful baby!
520
01:05:48,893 --> 01:05:51,271
Yeah! Haywood's back baby,
Haywood's back.
521
01:05:51,496 --> 01:05:55,778
Oh, I wish I was in the land of cotton'!
Shit, we goin' back to base right now.
522
01:05:56,567 --> 01:05:59,338
God damn it, Captain, I told you
we were gonna get back, I told you.
523
01:05:59,370 --> 01:06:01,910
You're gonna be on my cabinet,
you're gonna be a Senator, shit,
524
01:06:02,406 --> 01:06:03,766
I'm gonna make you Vice President!
525
01:06:05,176 --> 01:06:07,554
Haywood's back! I'm back daddy,
I'm coming home,
526
01:06:07,812 --> 01:06:09,348
I'm goin' be President!
527
01:06:09,372 --> 01:06:11,372
Yee-haw! Shit!
528
01:06:11,396 --> 01:06:14,436
Big ol' lions, and
giant mosquitos...
529
01:06:14,560 --> 01:06:16,560
took 'em all on, Captain, and...
530
01:06:21,493 --> 01:06:24,532
Whew! I knew we'd do it,
I knew we'd do it, shit!
531
01:06:29,600 --> 01:06:35,021
"Oh, say can you see...
nineteen-forty-three..."
532
01:06:34,972 --> 01:06:38,123
Shit! We gonna get this Jeep
going right now, God damn it...
533
01:06:39,343 --> 01:06:40,502
Where's the God damn key?
534
01:06:41,946 --> 01:06:45,545
Updike,
I hope you packed lederhosen.
535
01:07:45,009 --> 01:07:49,105
This is the day when the planets
will be wreathed in dying garlands,
536
01:07:49,214 --> 01:07:52,745
when the abattoir
will be substituted for the guillotine.
537
01:07:53,251 --> 01:07:55,414
Welcome to New Germania.
538
01:07:55,686 --> 01:07:57,378
Colonel, sir, is that you?
539
01:07:57,412 --> 01:08:00,572
'Course it's him, you can tell
by the stench of his Nazi breath.
540
01:08:00,672 --> 01:08:02,536
You overshot your wad, Kinderman.
541
01:08:02,727 --> 01:08:04,668
300 years to be precise.
542
01:08:04,796 --> 01:08:06,699
Seems like only yesterday.
543
01:08:07,732 --> 01:08:09,855
After WE won the war
544
01:08:09,968 --> 01:08:13,442
we purged the earth of the racially
impure and the mentally inferior
545
01:08:13,605 --> 01:08:15,589
but our crusade won't stop there.
546
01:08:15,640 --> 01:08:18,746
Our National Socialist Armada
readies itself to overthrow
547
01:08:19,010 --> 01:08:20,951
God in the 25th dimension.
548
01:08:21,078 --> 01:08:24,057
The fight's not against God,
Weaver, it's against ourselves.
549
01:08:24,215 --> 01:08:25,553
You're condemning humanity.
550
01:08:26,651 --> 01:08:28,660
Here you are on the edge
of extinction
551
01:08:28,853 --> 01:08:32,123
and still philosophizing
like one of the chosen people.
552
01:08:32,223 --> 01:08:34,453
I offer you a choice Corporal Updike,
553
01:08:34,492 --> 01:08:37,050
renounce your flag, join the Armada.
554
01:08:37,128 --> 01:08:42,359
Help us achieve our final victory
or die with the Jewish scum.
555
01:08:52,639 --> 01:08:56,476
Ha ha ha ha! I knew you were one of us.
556
01:09:34,452 --> 01:09:37,922
What do you have to say for yourself,
Oberleutnant Updike?
557
01:09:41,092 --> 01:09:42,506
Heil Hitler!
558
01:09:45,330 --> 01:09:49,221
It's time for you to prove your loyalty
to National Socialism, my son.
559
01:09:49,434 --> 01:09:52,485
But first, lets make this
an even playing field.
560
01:09:58,643 --> 01:09:59,987
Oberleutnant Updike,
561
01:10:00,044 --> 01:10:03,511
you will give these two prisoners
exactly ten seconds head start.
562
01:10:03,581 --> 01:10:04,787
Jawohl, mein Fuhrer!
563
01:10:05,049 --> 01:10:07,364
You better not lollygag around,
O'Brian,
564
01:10:07,464 --> 01:10:10,326
I got me a hard on
for some pretty-boy tail.
565
01:10:10,488 --> 01:10:14,785
One... two... three...
566
01:10:15,732 --> 01:10:19,982
four... five... six...
567
01:10:20,398 --> 01:10:22,674
seven... eight-nine-ten.
568
01:10:36,848 --> 01:10:37,952
Go, go, go, go... come on!
569
01:10:49,293 --> 01:10:50,670
Now come on, come on...
570
01:10:51,162 --> 01:10:52,162
Come on!
571
01:10:59,211 --> 01:11:01,836
Whoo-hoo! Get on, dogie!
572
01:11:01,873 --> 01:11:04,372
Whatever it is that you've got, Captain.
573
01:11:05,209 --> 01:11:07,159
I don't think I got it in me sir.
574
01:11:07,412 --> 01:11:08,939
Okay, we gotta split up.
575
01:11:09,247 --> 01:11:10,717
I want you to move
to that ridge over there
576
01:11:10,815 --> 01:11:12,015
and let him eyeball you, alright?
577
01:11:12,183 --> 01:11:13,383
I'm gonna come up from behind.
578
01:11:13,484 --> 01:11:15,730
Alright move, I wanna see the back
of your ass, let's go, go, go!
579
01:11:15,787 --> 01:11:17,491
Yes, sir... yes, Captain.
580
01:11:28,199 --> 01:11:32,630
Well, well, I'm gonna stick you
like a Louisiana frog.
581
01:11:34,038 --> 01:11:35,039
Nice try...
582
01:11:37,842 --> 01:11:40,822
Okay then, where's the other dirty kike?
583
01:11:41,245 --> 01:11:42,553
Right on your tail!
584
01:11:58,129 --> 01:12:00,871
I reckon you're
gonna enjoy this boy...
585
01:12:48,112 --> 01:12:50,092
Now it's your turn, Jew boy.
586
01:12:50,281 --> 01:12:52,790
You picked the wrong week
to give up butts.
587
01:12:53,451 --> 01:12:54,862
Hey, Updike!
588
01:12:56,487 --> 01:12:59,132
That's hardly presidential behavior.
589
01:13:02,927 --> 01:13:04,979
Got a present for you, if you want it.
590
01:13:07,532 --> 01:13:09,383
Just might get you into heaven.
591
01:13:12,403 --> 01:13:15,543
I'm gonna finish you
off for good, Barelli.
592
01:13:50,274 --> 01:13:52,379
I know you're here, eye-tie.
593
01:13:53,110 --> 01:13:55,370
Come out, come out, wherever you are.
594
01:13:57,281 --> 01:13:58,282
Hey Barelli,
595
01:13:58,649 --> 01:14:02,722
why don't you stick your head out
so I can make this nice and quick.
596
01:14:39,155 --> 01:14:40,156
Barelli,
597
01:14:41,091 --> 01:14:43,037
I know you're a fascist boy,
598
01:14:43,727 --> 01:14:45,297
why don't you come down here.
599
01:14:45,963 --> 01:14:48,944
You can join us,
you can be one of us boy...
600
01:14:49,433 --> 01:14:50,537
I know you wanna.
601
01:14:51,368 --> 01:14:54,731
Come on, Barelli,
they treat you nice, boy.
602
01:14:54,972 --> 01:14:56,713
The bank is closed, Updike.
603
01:15:01,812 --> 01:15:03,587
This is the final deposit.
604
01:15:30,641 --> 01:15:31,711
Colonel...
605
01:15:34,111 --> 01:15:35,556
Colonel!
606
01:15:48,992 --> 01:15:52,544
Peer into the world, Captain,
as their time has disappeared,
607
01:15:52,829 --> 01:15:55,711
and everything that was crooked
will now be straight.
608
01:15:55,732 --> 01:15:56,732
Come again, Ishbak?
609
01:15:57,968 --> 01:16:01,643
"Drums Along the Rio Grand," sir.
Scene 165?
610
01:16:03,006 --> 01:16:06,351
Kid, I got something
I gotta get something off my chest.
611
01:16:07,678 --> 01:16:09,214
I never did bang Judy Garland.
612
01:16:10,514 --> 01:16:12,152
- You didn't, sir?
- No.
613
01:16:15,052 --> 01:16:18,592
J.G., John Garfield.
614
01:16:19,890 --> 01:16:24,191
A hell of an actor,
and an even better understudy.
615
01:16:25,128 --> 01:16:28,079
Minchia! I never
would have pegged it, Captain.
616
01:16:29,433 --> 01:16:31,522
Hey kid, it's yours, go on.
617
01:16:32,769 --> 01:16:34,938
I hope I didn't disappoint you, Ishbak.
618
01:16:35,272 --> 01:16:38,450
Never, sir. Not in a million years.
619
01:16:40,610 --> 01:16:42,458
Not even in fifty thousand.
620
01:16:43,647 --> 01:16:44,999
Well, come on boys.
621
01:16:45,315 --> 01:16:47,812
It's time Uncle Sam kicked a little ass.
622
01:17:00,597 --> 01:17:01,940
Oy vey ismier!
623
01:17:02,566 --> 01:17:04,603
Minchia! You can say that again.
624
01:17:05,035 --> 01:17:07,849
I don't remember this
being in the Torah!
625
01:17:51,448 --> 01:17:54,538
As the Nazi war drums pound
across the galaxy,
626
01:17:54,851 --> 01:17:57,170
Barelli, Kinderman, and Ishbak,
627
01:17:57,354 --> 01:18:00,788
are all that stand between
good old American freedom
628
01:18:00,957 --> 01:18:04,498
and the fascist domination
of the universe.
629
01:18:06,430 --> 01:18:07,534
Walk proud...
630
01:18:12,803 --> 01:18:18,008
The battle for mankind's survival
has only just begun...