1
00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:09,560
Oh. Peace be with you.
Yeah, you, too. Thank you.
2
00:00:09,600 --> 00:00:11,016
Peace be with you.
- Peace be with you.
3
00:00:11,040 --> 00:00:12,315
And also with you.
4
00:00:12,360 --> 00:00:13,794
Peace be with you.
5
00:00:13,840 --> 00:00:15,336
And also with you.
- Peace be with you.
6
00:00:15,360 --> 00:00:16,360
Peace be with you.
7
00:00:16,680 --> 00:00:18,200
Peace be with you.
- And also with you.
8
00:00:18,240 --> 00:00:19,356
Peace be with you.
9
00:00:19,400 --> 00:00:20,400
And also with you.
10
00:00:20,600 --> 00:00:21,954
Let us pray.
11
00:00:28,640 --> 00:00:31,314
Our Father, Who art in Heaven
12
00:00:32,160 --> 00:00:33,230
hallowed be Thy name.
13
00:00:34,280 --> 00:00:35,800
Thy Kingdom come
14
00:00:36,120 --> 00:00:37,600
Thy will be done on Earth
15
00:00:38,400 --> 00:00:39,400
as it is in Heaven.
16
00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:41,798
Give us this day our daily bread
17
00:00:42,640 --> 00:00:44,359
and forgive us our trespasses
18
00:00:44,760 --> 00:00:47,434
as we forgive those
who trespass against us
19
00:00:48,560 --> 00:00:50,677
and lead us not into temptation
20
00:00:52,600 --> 00:00:54,193
but deliver us from evil.
21
00:00:56,960 --> 00:00:57,960
Amen.
22
00:01:00,240 --> 00:01:03,039
♪ Rooted, grafted ♪
23
00:01:03,080 --> 00:01:05,675
♪ Built on Thee ♪
24
00:01:06,880 --> 00:01:07,950
Please be seated.
25
00:01:08,120 --> 00:01:09,395
And also with you.
26
00:01:16,840 --> 00:01:17,840
Um...
27
00:01:18,600 --> 00:01:19,636
Sorry, uh...
28
00:01:19,840 --> 00:01:21,957
Uh, yes, today's, um...
29
00:01:24,200 --> 00:01:25,919
Uh, uh, today's notices.
30
00:01:25,960 --> 00:01:29,351
There's a raffle, um,
at tomorrow's fete
31
00:01:29,400 --> 00:01:31,357
to raise funds for the, uh...
32
00:01:31,400 --> 00:01:33,073
uh, t... uh, excuse...
33
00:01:33,120 --> 00:01:35,874
I'm sorry.
The diocesan pilgrimage to Lourdes.
34
00:01:35,920 --> 00:01:39,038
Uh, congratulations
to St. Ethelred's football club.
35
00:01:40,760 --> 00:01:41,830
3-1 victory.
36
00:01:42,080 --> 00:01:43,958
Uh, next Friday is a First Friday
37
00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:45,878
and I'm going to be making
my usual sick calls
38
00:01:45,920 --> 00:01:48,389
to the housebound
with the Eucharist.
39
00:01:48,640 --> 00:01:51,792
And finally, on Thursday,
I'm going to begin
40
00:01:51,840 --> 00:01:53,797
H-Holy Communion preparation classes.
41
00:01:53,840 --> 00:01:56,355
And there are more details
of that in the parish newsletter
42
00:01:56,680 --> 00:01:58,911
along with my latest review.
43
00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:01,231
That's all, folks.
44
00:02:01,600 --> 00:02:04,069
Uh, please stand for God's blessing.
45
00:02:05,160 --> 00:02:06,496
Thanks so much. All the best.
- Thank you, Father.
46
00:02:06,520 --> 00:02:07,636
Sure. See you next week.
47
00:02:07,680 --> 00:02:09,433
All the best.
- Really good one, Father.
48
00:02:09,520 --> 00:02:12,274
Nice to see you, Gina.
- Loved the story about your eye.
49
00:02:12,320 --> 00:02:14,016
Oh, yes. Stop, stop. Off you go.
50
00:02:14,040 --> 00:02:15,679
Give my regards to those budgies.
51
00:02:17,800 --> 00:02:19,280
Hello.
- Hi.
52
00:02:19,520 --> 00:02:21,876
- This is lovely.
- Oh, thank you. Thank you.
53
00:02:22,400 --> 00:02:23,959
I thought you'd be in prison by now.
54
00:02:24,040 --> 00:02:25,936
Oh, well, I keep trying,
but they just won't have me.
55
00:02:26,920 --> 00:02:28,195
I'm sorry about your eye.
56
00:02:28,240 --> 00:02:30,197
Oh, that's OK.
Gives me some edge.
57
00:02:30,680 --> 00:02:32,512
I've told them some heroic bullshit.
58
00:02:32,600 --> 00:02:33,795
Ah, bless you, Sandy.
59
00:02:33,840 --> 00:02:35,274
Thank you, Father.
- Bless you.
60
00:02:35,320 --> 00:02:36,993
Get well.
- Thank you.
61
00:02:37,560 --> 00:02:38,896
Bye, now. Have a nice day.
- Thank you, bye-bye.
62
00:02:38,920 --> 00:02:40,376
God bless you.
- Bye. See you next week.
63
00:02:40,400 --> 00:02:41,400
Bless you.
64
00:02:42,560 --> 00:02:43,755
I just wanted to, uh
65
00:02:43,840 --> 00:02:44,759
pay you back for dinner.
- Oh, no.
66
00:02:44,760 --> 00:02:46,456
Thank you. Honestly.
- Because I... No, no, really. I insist.
67
00:02:46,480 --> 00:02:47,816
It'll have to be in instalments.
- I don't want it.
68
00:02:47,840 --> 00:02:49,416
I don't want it. I've got no pockets.
- But I really... I just, I...
69
00:02:49,440 --> 00:02:50,874
Honestly, thank you.
70
00:02:50,920 --> 00:02:52,070
OK.
- Ah, ah, ah!
71
00:02:52,120 --> 00:02:53,576
I'm going to knife the candles, Father.
72
00:02:53,600 --> 00:02:54,795
They're a bit clogged up.
73
00:02:55,040 --> 00:02:56,360
OK, Pam.
- Yeah.
74
00:02:56,840 --> 00:02:59,016
Well, the-the hair dryer
is in the, in the wonky drawer.
75
00:02:59,040 --> 00:03:00,793
Under the wonky drawer.
Yes, I know.
76
00:03:01,360 --> 00:03:02,589
Hello, love.
- Hi.
77
00:03:02,680 --> 00:03:04,399
Oh, is that for the collection?
How sweet.
78
00:03:04,600 --> 00:03:06,034
How kind. Thank you.
79
00:03:08,080 --> 00:03:09,080
That's Pam.
80
00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:14,036
Do you like tea?
81
00:03:23,800 --> 00:03:24,800
Jesus.
82
00:03:32,360 --> 00:03:33,840
- Tea.
- Great.
83
00:03:35,760 --> 00:03:37,080
I don't want to boast
84
00:03:37,280 --> 00:03:38,696
but I make a cracking... Oh!
85
00:03:38,720 --> 00:03:40,439
Bastard! Sorry!
- Oh.
86
00:03:40,480 --> 00:03:41,755
Bastard!
- Um...
87
00:03:41,800 --> 00:03:43,951
Let me just,
let me just get this.
88
00:03:44,320 --> 00:03:45,356
OK. Oh, dear.
89
00:03:45,440 --> 00:03:46,635
Oh, is that holy?
90
00:03:46,680 --> 00:03:49,195
A bit less than it was before.
91
00:03:49,280 --> 00:03:50,953
Shit. Uh...
92
00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:52,000
Oh, well.
93
00:03:53,440 --> 00:03:55,238
He'll understand.
He's an understanding sort.
94
00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:58,000
OK.
95
00:03:59,160 --> 00:04:00,799
There you go.
96
00:04:01,240 --> 00:04:02,515
Sorry about all the tat.
97
00:04:02,960 --> 00:04:05,429
It's for a fund-raiser
garden party thing tomorrow.
98
00:04:05,680 --> 00:04:07,592
So much stuff.
Absolutely no staff.
99
00:04:07,640 --> 00:04:09,438
You can volunteer if you want.
100
00:04:09,480 --> 00:04:10,596
Ah.
101
00:04:10,640 --> 00:04:11,756
I'm only joking.
- Oh.
102
00:04:12,480 --> 00:04:14,437
Probably got a life. Oh.
- Mm.
103
00:04:14,920 --> 00:04:15,839
What's the time?
104
00:04:15,840 --> 00:04:17,320
One...
- Do you want a proper drink?
105
00:04:17,560 --> 00:04:20,075
I've got cans of GandT from M
106
00:04:20,960 --> 00:04:22,320
Well, it's...
- I will if you will.
107
00:04:23,080 --> 00:04:24,230
OK.
108
00:04:24,640 --> 00:04:26,233
OK.
109
00:04:28,040 --> 00:04:29,040
Yeah.
110
00:04:34,800 --> 00:04:35,836
Thanks.
111
00:04:41,520 --> 00:04:42,880
So, you're a cool priest, are you?
112
00:04:42,960 --> 00:04:44,076
A cool priest?
- Yeah.
113
00:04:44,200 --> 00:04:46,669
No, I'm a big reader with no friends.
Are you a cool person?
114
00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:47,960
Oh, I'm a pretty normal person.
115
00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:49,576
A normal person.
- Yeah, a normal person.
116
00:04:49,600 --> 00:04:52,080
What makes you a normal person?
- Well, I don't believe in God.
117
00:04:57,600 --> 00:04:59,034
I love it when He does that.
118
00:05:06,960 --> 00:05:08,872
So, you were in my prayers last night.
119
00:05:09,120 --> 00:05:10,120
Likewise.
120
00:05:10,680 --> 00:05:11,955
I'm sorry for your loss.
121
00:05:12,960 --> 00:05:13,960
What?
122
00:05:14,280 --> 00:05:15,280
Your baby.
123
00:05:17,080 --> 00:05:19,276
Oh. Yeah, thank you.
124
00:05:20,280 --> 00:05:22,112
Thank you. Yes. I, uh...
125
00:05:23,360 --> 00:05:25,477
I'm... Thank you.
126
00:05:25,600 --> 00:05:27,034
Is the father alright?
127
00:05:27,360 --> 00:05:28,360
Well, he's...
128
00:05:28,480 --> 00:05:29,914
He doesn't really...
129
00:05:31,760 --> 00:05:32,760
exist.
130
00:05:34,760 --> 00:05:35,796
I understand.
131
00:05:37,920 --> 00:05:40,435
The funeral liturgy says
132
00:05:41,080 --> 00:05:44,357
that life is changed, not ended.
133
00:05:47,600 --> 00:05:49,432
I've always loved that,
if that's of any help.
134
00:05:49,680 --> 00:05:51,990
No. Thank you very much,
but I really am an atheist.
135
00:05:52,080 --> 00:05:54,080
Yeah, I gathered that
by the smelling of the Bible.
136
00:05:54,280 --> 00:05:55,999
Oh.
137
00:05:58,000 --> 00:05:59,000
New sermon?
138
00:05:59,240 --> 00:06:00,856
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
that's, uh...
139
00:06:00,880 --> 00:06:03,839
I-I write,
uh, restaurant reviews
140
00:06:03,880 --> 00:06:05,155
for the parish magazine.
141
00:06:05,240 --> 00:06:06,536
I was just finishing up the last one.
142
00:06:06,560 --> 00:06:07,976
I actually just came up
with a really good title.
143
00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:09,000
Oh, what is it?
144
00:06:10,320 --> 00:06:11,279
No.
145
00:06:11,280 --> 00:06:12,600
What?
- No, it's not cool.
146
00:06:12,800 --> 00:06:13,916
Well, neither are we, so...
147
00:06:13,960 --> 00:06:16,475
"I'd spend 40 days and 40 nights
in that dessert."
148
00:06:20,440 --> 00:06:22,113
Oh, God, I fancy a priest.
149
00:06:58,920 --> 00:07:01,037
There you go. Thanks.
150
00:07:05,360 --> 00:07:06,360
Hey.
151
00:07:06,400 --> 00:07:08,119
Are you having an event?
152
00:07:08,640 --> 00:07:09,640
No.
153
00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:11,560
What?
Why are there so many people here?
154
00:07:11,720 --> 00:07:13,757
Well, it's just successful,
I guess.
155
00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:15,837
Why is everyone talking
to each other?
156
00:07:16,240 --> 00:07:18,118
Oh, it's Chatty Wednesday.
If you buy something
157
00:07:18,200 --> 00:07:19,536
you have to have a chat
with someone you don't know.
158
00:07:19,560 --> 00:07:21,597
What?
- Loneliness pays.
159
00:07:23,280 --> 00:07:24,280
Listen, can we...?
160
00:07:24,720 --> 00:07:25,720
Sure.
161
00:07:30,240 --> 00:07:32,360
I know you and I haven't...
- Have you had a check-up?
162
00:07:32,480 --> 00:07:33,834
Yes. It's-it's fine.
163
00:07:33,960 --> 00:07:35,776
It's really not a big deal.
It happens all the time.
164
00:07:35,800 --> 00:07:37,029
Hello.
- No!
165
00:07:37,240 --> 00:07:38,536
Where are you from?
- I'm-I'm not...
166
00:07:38,560 --> 00:07:40,677
This isn't...
I'm-I'm not part of this.
167
00:07:40,920 --> 00:07:43,037
I shouldn't have to...
I don't want to tell you that.
168
00:07:43,320 --> 00:07:45,232
No. Sorry. No.
169
00:07:46,240 --> 00:07:47,240
Tooting.
170
00:07:48,480 --> 00:07:49,816
She hasn't bought anything yet, Joe.
171
00:07:49,840 --> 00:07:52,116
Oh, shit! I'm so sorry.
172
00:07:52,160 --> 00:07:53,799
I'm sorry.
173
00:07:54,800 --> 00:07:55,870
Does Martin know?
174
00:07:55,960 --> 00:07:57,576
You're not supposed to tell anyone
for the first 12 weeks.
175
00:07:57,600 --> 00:07:59,176
Well, you can tell the father.
- I just haven't told him, OK?
176
00:07:59,200 --> 00:08:01,056
OK, well, what does he know?
- I don't want to talk about it. OK?
177
00:08:01,080 --> 00:08:02,878
And I never want anyone
to know about it.
178
00:08:03,600 --> 00:08:04,600
You have it.
179
00:08:04,680 --> 00:08:06,416
You're better at dealing
with awful things, anyway.
180
00:08:06,440 --> 00:08:07,816
I don't want it.
- Well, you took it
181
00:08:07,840 --> 00:08:09,720
now everyone thinks
you have it, so you have it.
182
00:08:17,800 --> 00:08:18,800
What?
183
00:08:18,960 --> 00:08:20,360
They're some pretty funky trainers.
184
00:08:20,400 --> 00:08:21,914
I said I'm fine.
185
00:08:22,080 --> 00:08:23,536
I just really, really don't want anyone
186
00:08:23,560 --> 00:08:25,392
to make a big deal out of this, OK?
187
00:08:25,520 --> 00:08:27,910
Brutal. Just brutal.
188
00:08:28,240 --> 00:08:29,640
You must feel rotten.
- Mm.
189
00:08:30,160 --> 00:08:31,196
Do you feel rotten?
190
00:08:31,400 --> 00:08:33,376
Um, I'd-I'd rather not talk about it,
if that's OK.
191
00:08:33,400 --> 00:08:35,312
Of course, darling.
Come on up.
192
00:08:35,520 --> 00:08:36,960
Claire, get the door,
for God's sake.
193
00:08:37,720 --> 00:08:39,000
Did you know who the father was?
194
00:08:39,040 --> 00:08:41,509
Um, you know, I'd rather not talk about it,
if that's OK.
195
00:08:41,600 --> 00:08:42,875
No, of course, darling.
196
00:08:42,920 --> 00:08:44,320
Here. Here.
197
00:08:44,400 --> 00:08:46,198
I've got a setup
I'm very excited about.
198
00:08:46,240 --> 00:08:47,799
It's going to be very striking.
- Cool.
199
00:08:47,880 --> 00:08:50,031
So, Claire, if you just sit here.
200
00:08:50,600 --> 00:08:52,273
That's lovely, and, darling.
201
00:08:52,360 --> 00:08:53,589
Mm-hmm.
- Just beside her.
202
00:08:53,680 --> 00:08:55,353
Like that. Lovely.
203
00:08:55,800 --> 00:08:57,200
And actually,
if you could just...
204
00:08:58,040 --> 00:08:59,554
That's it. That's it.
205
00:08:59,880 --> 00:09:01,280
Just a bit.
- Oh.
206
00:09:02,400 --> 00:09:04,073
A bit more. Bit more.
207
00:09:04,120 --> 00:09:05,315
There. Perfect.
208
00:09:05,640 --> 00:09:06,790
Gorgeous. Yes.
209
00:09:10,120 --> 00:09:11,320
Sorry, no.
If you could just...
210
00:09:12,040 --> 00:09:13,315
That's it.
Thank you, darling.
211
00:09:15,240 --> 00:09:17,118
So, um...
- She can't not talk about it.
212
00:09:17,400 --> 00:09:19,198
You know, I have six friends...
- A lie.
213
00:09:19,480 --> 00:09:21,312
...who've had miscarriages.
214
00:09:21,800 --> 00:09:24,360
Five of them never managed
to produce a child afterwards.
215
00:09:25,040 --> 00:09:26,880
But the sixth one did,
and rather regretted it.
216
00:09:27,440 --> 00:09:29,671
So, I think you've probably
done the right thing.
217
00:09:30,280 --> 00:09:31,280
Thank you.
218
00:09:33,360 --> 00:09:34,555
Did you never want them?
219
00:09:34,920 --> 00:09:36,274
Oh, I'm still thinking about it.
220
00:09:37,760 --> 00:09:39,558
Is Dad here?
I texted him, but...
221
00:09:39,640 --> 00:09:41,279
Oh, I saw that.
- Oh, so he is here?
222
00:09:41,400 --> 00:09:42,834
Sorry, no.
I've got his phone today.
223
00:09:45,880 --> 00:09:47,030
I love that colour.
224
00:09:47,400 --> 00:09:49,039
Which one?
- That one.
225
00:09:49,440 --> 00:09:50,476
Oh, that's three colours.
226
00:09:51,640 --> 00:09:53,233
- Right.
- I'm getting rid of it.
227
00:09:54,480 --> 00:09:55,896
But it was quite
an adventure painting.
228
00:09:55,920 --> 00:09:57,240
I had an orgasm as I finished it.
229
00:09:57,560 --> 00:09:58,640
Well, let's hope we all get
230
00:09:58,680 --> 00:10:00,216
as much pleasure out of this one.
231
00:10:00,240 --> 00:10:01,296
No, no. Could you...
232
00:10:01,320 --> 00:10:04,154
Um, I have a pretty full afternoon, so...
233
00:10:04,240 --> 00:10:06,056
Oh, have you got to go back
to Finland again?
234
00:10:06,080 --> 00:10:08,959
No, Finland are coming here.
- Oh. That's easier for you.
235
00:10:09,240 --> 00:10:10,240
Mm.
236
00:10:10,480 --> 00:10:12,016
Are you still OK
to pick up the invitations?
237
00:10:12,040 --> 00:10:13,554
Oh, yes, of course.
238
00:10:13,720 --> 00:10:15,256
And did you find that
ribbon thing for the flowers?
239
00:10:15,280 --> 00:10:16,396
- Yes.
- Great.
240
00:10:16,800 --> 00:10:18,016
And is Martin's nose on the mend?
241
00:10:18,040 --> 00:10:19,040
Yes.
242
00:10:19,320 --> 00:10:21,437
And how's the, uh, bassoon solo coming on?
243
00:10:21,520 --> 00:10:22,776
Oh, yes, he's practising.
244
00:10:22,800 --> 00:10:24,598
Oh, God,
and now I just have to...
245
00:10:24,680 --> 00:10:26,736
- What?
- Sorry, Claire, can you look up, please?
246
00:10:26,760 --> 00:10:27,719
Thank you.
247
00:10:27,720 --> 00:10:29,598
...organise canapés
for an awards ceremony.
248
00:10:29,680 --> 00:10:31,319
Oh, gosh, you must be exhausted.
249
00:10:31,800 --> 00:10:33,553
Does the little cafe do canapés?
250
00:10:33,720 --> 00:10:34,836
It totally could, yeah.
251
00:10:35,440 --> 00:10:36,960
There you are.
That's one off the list.
252
00:10:38,200 --> 00:10:39,200
Great.
253
00:10:42,400 --> 00:10:45,154
Gosh, haven't you got
a lovely, thick neck.
254
00:10:48,640 --> 00:10:49,835
That was fun.
- Thank you.
255
00:10:49,920 --> 00:10:51,816
Yeah, I really can help
with the canapés if it's...
256
00:10:51,840 --> 00:10:54,116
I'm gonna say this quickly. OK.
- OK.
257
00:10:54,200 --> 00:10:56,176
Martin wants to press charges
against you for assault.
258
00:10:56,200 --> 00:10:57,776
I've tried to talk him down,
but to be fair
259
00:10:57,800 --> 00:10:59,837
you did hit him fucking hard.
- What?
260
00:10:59,920 --> 00:11:01,991
I will provide you
with exceptional legal advice
261
00:11:02,080 --> 00:11:03,736
as long as you don't tell anyone
I'm providing you
262
00:11:03,760 --> 00:11:05,274
with exceptional legal advice.
- What?
263
00:11:05,440 --> 00:11:06,440
This is happening.
264
00:11:06,600 --> 00:11:09,320
I am mortified,
but it is happening, OK?
265
00:11:09,680 --> 00:11:11,353
I will hire this lawyer
to scare him off
266
00:11:11,440 --> 00:11:12,960
and I will hire you to do the canapés.
267
00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:14,840
Who's the lawyer?
268
00:11:14,960 --> 00:11:17,111
Oh, he's a friend.
He mainly defends rapists.
269
00:11:17,560 --> 00:11:18,776
He has a high success rate, then?
270
00:11:18,800 --> 00:11:21,190
Oh, undefeated. Come on.
271
00:11:22,160 --> 00:11:23,840
I've filled him in with the basics.
272
00:11:23,880 --> 00:11:25,080
That your husband's an animal?
273
00:11:25,160 --> 00:11:27,152
Be serious.
Just do whatever he says.
274
00:11:27,240 --> 00:11:28,594
And don't flirt with him.
275
00:11:28,840 --> 00:11:30,160
I'm not going to f...
276
00:11:32,000 --> 00:11:33,559
Fucking hell. OK.
277
00:11:34,000 --> 00:11:35,719
Claire.
- David, thank you so much.
278
00:11:35,880 --> 00:11:37,280
Oh. Sorry.
- Wow.
279
00:11:37,760 --> 00:11:39,752
I can take you to court for that.
280
00:11:40,040 --> 00:11:41,440
This the little troublemaker, then?
281
00:11:41,680 --> 00:11:42,680
Hi.
- Hi.
282
00:11:42,920 --> 00:11:46,072
Now, listen, I just want to be clear
that whatever happens
283
00:11:46,400 --> 00:11:48,198
I don't sleep with people I work with, OK?
284
00:11:50,080 --> 00:11:52,914
Ah!
285
00:11:53,040 --> 00:11:54,554
I'm joking.
286
00:11:54,760 --> 00:11:55,830
Slip on in, ladies.
287
00:11:56,680 --> 00:11:57,830
Well, if you spit guilty
288
00:11:57,880 --> 00:12:00,554
you'll have to swallow a short jail term,
or community service
289
00:12:00,600 --> 00:12:02,034
if you're lucky.
- Or?
290
00:12:02,080 --> 00:12:03,594
You definitely started it?
- Yes.
291
00:12:03,720 --> 00:12:06,360
Any witnesses?
- About... 30.
292
00:12:08,360 --> 00:12:10,056
The most important thing, honey,
is that you do not
293
00:12:10,080 --> 00:12:11,878
under any circumstances, apologise.
294
00:12:11,960 --> 00:12:14,316
I can do that.
- No, that's not what we discussed.
295
00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:16,232
Or that can be taken
as an admission of guilt.
296
00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:18,816
I assume you know the victim personally.
297
00:12:18,840 --> 00:12:19,956
Yes, she...
- No and...
298
00:12:20,160 --> 00:12:22,038
let's not call him "the victim" yet,
shall we?
299
00:12:22,120 --> 00:12:24,396
Well, that's what he is.
- Yes. Right.
300
00:12:25,040 --> 00:12:26,269
They've definitely fucked.
301
00:12:26,360 --> 00:12:28,192
We just want a letter to scare him off
302
00:12:28,280 --> 00:12:29,720
if he ends up seeking proper action.
303
00:12:29,760 --> 00:12:31,856
Really doesn't make sense, Claire.
- Actually, maybe not.
304
00:12:31,880 --> 00:12:33,439
I think it makes perfect sense.
305
00:12:33,520 --> 00:12:35,616
I just want to be ahead of the game.
- God, I can't tell.
306
00:12:35,640 --> 00:12:37,233
That's a habit of yours, I've heard.
307
00:12:37,400 --> 00:12:38,800
Oh, I've got it.
- Is it?
308
00:12:38,880 --> 00:12:40,736
They haven't.
- You're gonna have to tell me who said that.
309
00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:42,080
Never.
- But they're going to.
310
00:12:42,160 --> 00:12:44,072
David.
- Oh, God, I've got to get out.
311
00:12:44,240 --> 00:12:45,310
Claire.
- Excuse me.
312
00:12:45,720 --> 00:12:46,896
Where you off to, little lady?
313
00:12:46,920 --> 00:12:49,515
I'm just gonna let this, uh... yeah.
314
00:13:06,600 --> 00:13:07,896
You alright?
315
00:13:07,920 --> 00:13:09,673
Yeah. Just thought I'd leave you to it.
316
00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:12,633
Sorry.
- What?
317
00:13:12,920 --> 00:13:14,856
He says he'll only talk you through
potential proceedings
318
00:13:14,880 --> 00:13:16,656
- if you go for a drink with him.
- What?
319
00:13:16,680 --> 00:13:17,955
I know.
- Outrageous.
320
00:13:18,120 --> 00:13:19,696
Stop smiling.
- I thought he was after you.
321
00:13:19,720 --> 00:13:22,280
Oh, so did I, but my hair
isn't great at the moment.
322
00:13:22,520 --> 00:13:24,034
Either way,
it's very inappropriate.
323
00:13:24,440 --> 00:13:25,680
Don't sleep with him.
- I won't.
324
00:13:25,760 --> 00:13:26,989
Don't.
- I won't!
325
00:13:27,080 --> 00:13:28,639
I don't do that anymore.
- What?
326
00:13:29,440 --> 00:13:31,193
Why? Are you ill?
- No.
327
00:13:31,280 --> 00:13:33,317
Then what?
- Well, I... I...
328
00:13:33,880 --> 00:13:35,997
I just...
- Oh, my God. Have you met someone?
329
00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:39,279
Well... well, not really.
- Back with Harry?
330
00:13:39,360 --> 00:13:41,056
No, it's actually... so, well...
- Someone new?
331
00:13:41,080 --> 00:13:42,719
Is he single?
- Sort of.
332
00:13:45,400 --> 00:13:48,040
Take this.
I'll try talk Martin down
333
00:13:48,120 --> 00:13:50,240
but call him if you need him.
He's a very good lawyer.
334
00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:52,116
Surprisingly...
335
00:13:53,320 --> 00:13:54,800
tender underneath it all.
336
00:13:55,440 --> 00:13:56,440
Knew it.
337
00:13:57,000 --> 00:13:58,880
What you did in the restaurant
was unforgivable.
338
00:13:59,480 --> 00:14:00,480
I know.
339
00:14:01,480 --> 00:14:02,480
Thank you.
340
00:14:05,360 --> 00:14:06,616
OK. Well, I'll, um...
- Listen, I actually
341
00:14:06,640 --> 00:14:08,836
just wanted to give you this.
342
00:14:08,920 --> 00:14:10,960
It's just one session,
but you've been through a lot
343
00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:12,992
so I just...
- Come on. I said I'm fine.
344
00:14:14,560 --> 00:14:15,755
I'm weirdly fine.
345
00:14:18,320 --> 00:14:19,436
I'd rather have the money.
346
00:14:35,840 --> 00:14:37,911
Excuse me.
I've got dry forearms.
347
00:14:38,800 --> 00:14:39,800
Sure.
348
00:14:42,440 --> 00:14:43,920
So why have you come
to this session?
349
00:14:44,360 --> 00:14:46,120
Uh, it was a birthday present
from my father.
350
00:14:47,120 --> 00:14:48,120
Is that a joke?
351
00:14:48,680 --> 00:14:49,680
No.
352
00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:53,640
It would be good
not to make jokes in here
353
00:14:53,800 --> 00:14:55,359
just in case anything gets...
354
00:14:56,400 --> 00:14:58,631
lost in humorous translation.
355
00:14:58,840 --> 00:15:00,600
Oh, I don't know if I can do that.
356
00:15:02,600 --> 00:15:03,600
Is that a joke?
357
00:15:03,840 --> 00:15:04,840
No.
358
00:15:06,240 --> 00:15:09,711
Well, just try not to,
or make it very obvious.
359
00:15:10,920 --> 00:15:11,920
Sure.
360
00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:14,760
So why do you think your father suggested
you come for counselling?
361
00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:17,914
Um, I think because my mother died
and he can't talk about it
362
00:15:18,120 --> 00:15:19,736
and my sister and I
didn't speak for a year
363
00:15:19,760 --> 00:15:21,296
because she thinks I tried
to sleep with her husband
364
00:15:21,320 --> 00:15:23,915
and because I spent most
of my adult life using sex to deflect
365
00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:25,800
from the screaming void
inside my empty heart.
366
00:15:26,240 --> 00:15:27,240
I'm good at this.
367
00:15:27,640 --> 00:15:29,240
Although I don't really do that anymore.
368
00:15:30,280 --> 00:15:31,509
You close with your family?
369
00:15:33,960 --> 00:15:34,960
We get on with it.
370
00:15:35,640 --> 00:15:36,640
Do you talk?
371
00:15:36,760 --> 00:15:37,760
God, no.
372
00:15:38,040 --> 00:15:39,040
Any friends?
373
00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:41,000
Sorry?
374
00:15:41,160 --> 00:15:42,230
Any friends?
375
00:15:44,320 --> 00:15:45,356
Um...
376
00:15:45,760 --> 00:15:47,160
no, I don't really have time for...
377
00:15:47,800 --> 00:15:49,951
Well, I have a guinea pig,
but she blows hot and cold.
378
00:15:50,200 --> 00:15:51,236
Not a joke.
379
00:15:53,520 --> 00:15:54,636
Tell me about the sex.
380
00:15:57,920 --> 00:15:58,920
All of it?
381
00:15:59,280 --> 00:16:00,520
You said you don't do that now.
382
00:16:01,160 --> 00:16:02,480
Oh, no, I just play tennis now.
383
00:16:05,080 --> 00:16:06,080
Tough crowd.
384
00:16:07,560 --> 00:16:08,560
Sorry.
385
00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:10,000
I just...
386
00:16:11,000 --> 00:16:12,320
Sex didn't bring anything...
387
00:16:13,920 --> 00:16:15,798
...good, so I'm... I'm trying not to...
388
00:16:17,600 --> 00:16:18,600
But I've...
389
00:16:18,920 --> 00:16:20,957
And what have you found
in your abstinence?
390
00:16:21,080 --> 00:16:23,440
Well, I'm very horny,
and you're little scarf isn't helping.
391
00:16:26,400 --> 00:16:27,800
So the impulse is still there.
392
00:16:28,720 --> 00:16:29,790
Oh.
393
00:16:30,920 --> 00:16:31,920
Yeah, the...
394
00:16:32,120 --> 00:16:33,236
The impulse is...
395
00:16:33,960 --> 00:16:36,000
The impulse is v-very much still there.
396
00:16:36,960 --> 00:16:38,280
It's just never the right person.
397
00:16:39,320 --> 00:16:41,596
Mm-hmm.
So there is a particular person
398
00:16:41,680 --> 00:16:42,796
you're not having sex with.
399
00:16:43,360 --> 00:16:44,360
No.
400
00:16:44,920 --> 00:16:46,480
No, well, nothing's happened. I just...
401
00:16:47,800 --> 00:16:48,950
He's not available.
402
00:16:49,560 --> 00:16:51,597
In a relationship?
- Yes. A bad one.
403
00:16:52,200 --> 00:16:53,236
Oh, really? How so?
404
00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:54,976
It's the sort of relationship
where one partner
405
00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:56,160
tells the other how to dress.
406
00:16:56,600 --> 00:16:57,600
Are you in love with him?
407
00:16:57,960 --> 00:16:59,030
No.
408
00:16:59,960 --> 00:17:01,076
Why do you find that funny?
409
00:17:02,040 --> 00:17:03,040
Well, I...
410
00:17:03,680 --> 00:17:04,680
I lied. I just...
411
00:17:05,640 --> 00:17:07,120
I don't kn-know.
412
00:17:08,120 --> 00:17:09,120
Just not a romantic?
413
00:17:09,400 --> 00:17:10,400
No.
414
00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:12,000
Just...
415
00:17:12,600 --> 00:17:14,353
a girl with no friends
and an empty heart?
416
00:17:18,320 --> 00:17:19,549
By your own description.
417
00:17:25,520 --> 00:17:26,520
I have friends.
418
00:17:26,800 --> 00:17:28,393
Oh. So you do have someone to talk to.
419
00:17:30,880 --> 00:17:32,234
Yeah.
420
00:17:34,240 --> 00:17:35,310
Do you see them a lot?
421
00:17:35,480 --> 00:17:36,630
Oh, they're...
422
00:17:37,000 --> 00:17:38,240
They're always there.
They're...
423
00:17:39,720 --> 00:17:41,320
They're always there.
424
00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:43,116
Why do you find that funny?
425
00:17:43,560 --> 00:17:46,056
Listen, I don't need to be analysed.
I have a nice life. I just...
426
00:17:46,080 --> 00:17:48,120
I just wanted to exchange
the voucher for the money.
427
00:17:48,160 --> 00:17:49,389
It's a bit late for that now.
428
00:17:50,160 --> 00:17:51,480
I've only been here five minutes.
429
00:17:54,520 --> 00:17:55,520
I want the money.
430
00:17:58,880 --> 00:18:00,030
I want to fuck a priest.
431
00:18:00,920 --> 00:18:02,434
Catholic?
- Yes.
432
00:18:02,760 --> 00:18:03,910
A good one?
- Yes.
433
00:18:04,120 --> 00:18:05,952
Looks good in the, um...
- Mm, yes.
434
00:18:06,320 --> 00:18:07,320
I understand.
435
00:18:08,960 --> 00:18:10,256
Do you really want to fuck the priest
436
00:18:10,280 --> 00:18:11,600
or do you want to fuck God?
437
00:18:12,880 --> 00:18:14,712
Can you fuck God?
- Oh, yes.
438
00:18:15,640 --> 00:18:18,838
Look, just-just please tell me
how to not fuck a priest
439
00:18:18,920 --> 00:18:19,920
before I get arrested.
440
00:18:20,480 --> 00:18:22,496
Well, I don't think fucking a priest
will make you feel
441
00:18:22,520 --> 00:18:23,840
as powerful as you think it will.
442
00:18:24,160 --> 00:18:25,440
Can you just tell me what to do?
443
00:18:25,880 --> 00:18:26,880
You know.
444
00:18:28,480 --> 00:18:29,856
You already know
what you're going to do.
445
00:18:29,880 --> 00:18:30,880
Everybody does.
446
00:18:31,480 --> 00:18:32,480
What?
447
00:18:32,640 --> 00:18:34,757
You've already decided
what you're going to do.
448
00:18:35,880 --> 00:18:36,960
So what's the point in you?
449
00:18:39,920 --> 00:18:41,240
You know what you're going to do.
450
00:18:42,760 --> 00:18:43,639
No, I don't.
451
00:18:43,640 --> 00:18:45,040
Yes, you do.
- I don't.
452
00:18:45,080 --> 00:18:46,912
You do. You do.
- I don't. I don't!
453
00:18:48,880 --> 00:18:50,200
Good luck.
- Thank you.
454
00:18:50,560 --> 00:18:51,596
Shut up.
455
00:18:53,080 --> 00:18:54,912
Hi, can I have two raffle tickets, please?
456
00:18:55,040 --> 00:18:56,040
Oh, my God.
457
00:18:56,360 --> 00:18:57,360
Oh, my God. Hi.
458
00:18:57,480 --> 00:18:58,800
Hi! You're...
459
00:18:59,200 --> 00:19:01,112
Yeah. Yes.
- With child. Cool.
460
00:19:01,200 --> 00:19:02,953
Yeah, you got a fringe.
- Yeah.
461
00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:04,798
Yeah. Cool.
- Aw. You always wanted a baby.
462
00:19:04,840 --> 00:19:06,399
You always wanted a fringe.
463
00:19:06,440 --> 00:19:08,636
She is amazing.
464
00:19:08,720 --> 00:19:10,359
I mean, it's been tough but amazing.
465
00:19:10,440 --> 00:19:11,510
Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
466
00:19:11,600 --> 00:19:13,160
I mean, the birth really took its toll.
467
00:19:13,200 --> 00:19:14,416
Oh, really?
Was it a tricky one?
468
00:19:14,440 --> 00:19:15,456
I can't really remember it now.
469
00:19:15,480 --> 00:19:18,712
But the whole thing has just...
really changed me.
470
00:19:18,840 --> 00:19:21,275
I just don't feel...
You know, my emotions
471
00:19:21,320 --> 00:19:24,791
are up and down.
My body just feels different.
472
00:19:24,880 --> 00:19:26,951
I mean, Elaine is being amazing.
473
00:19:27,040 --> 00:19:28,040
So supportive...
474
00:19:28,080 --> 00:19:29,616
Sounds like you have postnatal depression.
475
00:19:29,640 --> 00:19:31,518
I do, yeah, but we're working through it.
476
00:19:33,600 --> 00:19:34,559
Sure.
477
00:19:34,560 --> 00:19:36,136
Just to let you know,
the band is gonna start
478
00:19:36,160 --> 00:19:38,720
in a couple of minutes.
- Hey, Father. This is Suzie.
479
00:19:38,800 --> 00:19:40,393
Oh, I don't know how to talk to babies.
480
00:19:40,560 --> 00:19:42,119
Sorry.
Do you guys know each other?
481
00:19:42,680 --> 00:19:44,480
Well, we sort of used to...
- Uh, yeah, I used
482
00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:46,360
to be her girlfriend.
- ...used to kind of...
483
00:19:46,600 --> 00:19:47,600
Oh, cool.
484
00:19:49,200 --> 00:19:50,200
Good for you.
485
00:19:51,040 --> 00:19:52,736
Well, I'm gonna go
and show her the coconuts.
486
00:19:52,760 --> 00:19:55,195
- She's really good at counting.
- OK.
487
00:19:55,400 --> 00:19:57,198
Excuse me, everyone!
488
00:19:57,480 --> 00:20:00,678
The Youthy Band is about to play
the ode to something!
489
00:20:00,760 --> 00:20:02,194
You having fun?
490
00:20:02,240 --> 00:20:03,594
Yes. Yeah.
- Selling well?
491
00:20:03,680 --> 00:20:05,056
Yes, I think so.
- Good? Oh, a puzzle!
492
00:20:05,080 --> 00:20:06,576
Love a puzzle.
- Father, the-the Youthy Band
493
00:20:06,600 --> 00:20:07,776
are about to...
- Yes, I-I heard you, Pam.
494
00:20:07,800 --> 00:20:10,315
Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you.
495
00:20:12,200 --> 00:20:13,316
Oh, there's the main event.
496
00:20:13,600 --> 00:20:15,114
Yeah.
- Very talented.
497
00:20:15,200 --> 00:20:17,237
She, um, sh-she...
498
00:20:17,360 --> 00:20:19,670
don't say it...
she-she actually, uh...
499
00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:20,796
just-just don't say it...
500
00:20:20,880 --> 00:20:22,599
she actually orgasmed
when she finished it.
501
00:20:23,120 --> 00:20:24,713
Just said it. Apparently.
502
00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:26,000
Ah.
503
00:20:28,240 --> 00:20:29,993
Well, whatever gets you there.
504
00:20:32,800 --> 00:20:33,800
Father!
505
00:20:33,960 --> 00:20:36,111
Father, we have
a cupcake situation over here!
506
00:20:36,200 --> 00:20:37,953
OK, Pam!
I will be there to cupcake!
507
00:20:39,680 --> 00:20:41,000
Thank you so much for helping.
508
00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:42,435
Thanks.
509
00:20:46,960 --> 00:20:48,679
Arm touch.
510
00:20:55,520 --> 00:20:57,591
At least my son is in the Youthy Band.
511
00:20:57,680 --> 00:20:59,000
What's your excuse?
512
00:21:01,400 --> 00:21:02,550
I'm helping the priest.
513
00:21:02,960 --> 00:21:04,917
Wow, you do love a challenge, don't you?
514
00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:07,816
Hey, I just want to say something.
515
00:21:07,840 --> 00:21:09,520
It's from River Island.
I got it last week.
516
00:21:09,640 --> 00:21:14,157
No, I want to say that I'm sorry
for saying what I said.
517
00:21:14,400 --> 00:21:16,278
I'm sorry for what you went through.
518
00:21:16,800 --> 00:21:17,800
I'm sorry.
519
00:21:18,080 --> 00:21:19,816
I know what you're doing.
I'm not gonna say it.
520
00:21:19,840 --> 00:21:22,275
I'm just saying sorry.
- I'm not gonna say it.
521
00:21:22,600 --> 00:21:23,600
I'm sorry.
522
00:21:24,440 --> 00:21:25,440
Mm-mm.
523
00:21:28,600 --> 00:21:29,600
OK.
524
00:21:30,440 --> 00:21:31,556
And thank you.
525
00:21:31,880 --> 00:21:33,200
She and I have never been better.
526
00:21:33,280 --> 00:21:34,953
Oh.
- You had a big part in that.
527
00:21:35,240 --> 00:21:36,879
I'm happy for you.
528
00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:39,376
I'm happy you've found a way to deflect
529
00:21:39,400 --> 00:21:44,077
from your pitiful, self-sabotaging,
ego-driven, masturbatory...
530
00:21:44,160 --> 00:21:46,200
I cannot believe how well
this is coming out, pawing
531
00:21:46,240 --> 00:21:50,075
insidious, insidious,
overwhelming mediocrity
532
00:21:50,280 --> 00:21:52,590
only to finally figure out
that at your very core
533
00:21:52,760 --> 00:21:55,639
you are a... w-weaky.
534
00:21:56,960 --> 00:21:57,960
Damn!
535
00:21:57,961 --> 00:22:00,350
A weaky?
- Damn. Damn.
536
00:22:00,560 --> 00:22:02,199
Wow. A weaky.
537
00:22:07,920 --> 00:22:11,357
In that case,
I just wanted you to know
538
00:22:11,720 --> 00:22:15,157
that I'm impressed
with how you just keep bouncing back.
539
00:22:15,240 --> 00:22:16,913
I really am.
540
00:22:17,040 --> 00:22:19,271
You're a... strongy.
541
00:22:21,160 --> 00:22:22,674
That was awesome, man!
542
00:22:22,960 --> 00:22:24,336
Creepy Jake.
Mainly says things like...
543
00:22:24,360 --> 00:22:25,360
Where's Claire?
544
00:22:25,400 --> 00:22:26,754
And...
- Where's Claire?
545
00:22:26,880 --> 00:22:28,160
Well, she couldn't make it, man.
546
00:22:28,320 --> 00:22:31,392
Lucky for us,
your aunt is an avid churchgoer.
547
00:22:31,480 --> 00:22:32,709
Hi. Thanks for watching.
548
00:22:32,840 --> 00:22:33,956
Oh, you were excellent.
549
00:22:35,560 --> 00:22:36,835
Oh.
- Ooh.
550
00:22:36,920 --> 00:22:38,479
Careful there, buddy.
551
00:22:38,680 --> 00:22:40,856
You could go down for that sort
of behaviour these days.
552
00:22:40,880 --> 00:22:43,076
It was just a hug.
- "It was just a hug."
553
00:22:43,160 --> 00:22:44,960
You got to do better
than that these days, boy
554
00:22:45,080 --> 00:22:46,753
especially around this firecracker.
555
00:22:46,800 --> 00:22:48,120
But I didn't do...
- Come on.
556
00:22:49,840 --> 00:22:51,160
I don't want to be an asshole.
557
00:22:52,040 --> 00:22:53,520
I just want her to be happy.
558
00:22:53,960 --> 00:22:56,998
And she has been really happy.
559
00:22:57,600 --> 00:22:59,034
Until she saw you.
560
00:23:00,240 --> 00:23:01,276
Just saying.
561
00:23:01,920 --> 00:23:02,920
Ow.
562
00:23:14,600 --> 00:23:15,795
Psst.
563
00:23:16,120 --> 00:23:17,474
Hi, Jake. Oh.
564
00:23:18,040 --> 00:23:20,600
Tell her to leave him.
565
00:23:21,360 --> 00:23:22,360
What?
566
00:23:22,960 --> 00:23:24,394
Tell her...
567
00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:26,753
to leave him.
568
00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:37,480
He's gonna kill someone one day.
569
00:23:41,000 --> 00:23:42,000
Hey.
570
00:23:42,960 --> 00:23:44,394
Yes, Father. Yes, Father?
571
00:23:44,680 --> 00:23:46,353
I can't believe I'm saying this, but...
572
00:23:46,480 --> 00:23:47,480
Oh, God.
573
00:23:47,481 --> 00:23:48,720
...can I get that coconut back?
574
00:23:48,880 --> 00:23:49,950
They're actually on hire.
575
00:23:50,600 --> 00:23:51,696
Uh, I'm not sure if a lot of them
576
00:23:51,720 --> 00:23:53,951
are even real actually,
which is morally a bit dubious.
577
00:23:54,040 --> 00:23:56,350
But we got to make money somehow.
Sorry. Thank you.
578
00:23:56,520 --> 00:23:57,795
Thanks.
- Knuckle brush.
579
00:23:58,080 --> 00:23:59,196
Uh, also...
580
00:23:59,280 --> 00:24:00,953
I hope you don't mind, but, um...
581
00:24:02,120 --> 00:24:03,952
I've marked a few pages in here
582
00:24:04,040 --> 00:24:05,136
that I thought might be...
- Oh, I...
583
00:24:06,040 --> 00:24:07,920
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
I'm not trying to...
584
00:24:08,920 --> 00:24:10,798
They're just words.
585
00:24:11,200 --> 00:24:13,237
OK, it's just
I-I think I know what happens.
586
00:24:15,160 --> 00:24:16,310
Classic.
587
00:24:18,040 --> 00:24:19,190
Come on, have a read.
588
00:24:22,120 --> 00:24:23,400
I'd like to know what you think.
589
00:24:23,760 --> 00:24:24,989
And if you ever want to...
590
00:24:25,920 --> 00:24:27,434
uh, talk about stuff, I'm here.
591
00:24:28,040 --> 00:24:29,713
With a GandT, of course.
592
00:24:31,200 --> 00:24:32,440
You can come whenever you want.
593
00:24:34,640 --> 00:24:35,640
I'd like you to come.
594
00:24:36,360 --> 00:24:37,360
If it helps.