1
00:01:07,500 --> 00:01:08,520
The good God.

2
00:01:28,740 --> 00:01:29,740
Bronze.

3
00:01:30,020 --> 00:01:31,380
See that? That's bronze.

4
00:01:32,160 --> 00:01:34,680
Now how many people are in this disco
dancing contest?

5
00:01:35,370 --> 00:01:36,370
A few, sir. A few.

6
00:01:36,510 --> 00:01:37,510
How few is a few?

7
00:01:38,190 --> 00:01:39,190
Three, sir. Three.

8
00:01:39,430 --> 00:01:40,430
So you've heard that.

9
00:01:40,890 --> 00:01:41,950
You gave it up, didn't you?

10
00:01:42,370 --> 00:01:44,190
Sir. Shall I show you what I think of
bronze?

11
00:01:44,970 --> 00:01:45,970
Shall I?

12
00:01:47,290 --> 00:01:53,290
I'll give you three weeks off to win
this contest, and you come back with

13
00:01:53,290 --> 00:01:56,250
bronze. Well, you don't win bronze. You
lose gold and silver. No.

14
00:01:57,590 --> 00:02:01,890
Meanwhile, Springs' second career is
looking up. EMI Records, biggest record

15
00:02:01,890 --> 00:02:04,770
company in the world, and Tony
Wadsworth.

16
00:02:05,750 --> 00:02:06,669
Tony Wadsworth.

17
00:02:06,670 --> 00:02:07,509
Top man.

18
00:02:07,510 --> 00:02:08,610
No coffee, boys.

19
00:02:08,850 --> 00:02:11,790
No, no, no, no. Tony Wadsworth, I've
done business with him many times. Many

20
00:02:11,790 --> 00:02:15,450
times. Old friend of mine. Old friend of
mine, I got you in there. I said I

21
00:02:15,450 --> 00:02:18,830
would get you in there, didn't I?
Laddie, I knew you'd come through.

22
00:02:18,830 --> 00:02:20,290
want to get in, I get in. Oh, man.

23
00:02:43,620 --> 00:02:44,620
Well,

24
00:02:56,280 --> 00:02:58,340
I thought about changing one of the
lyrics, actually.

25
00:02:58,580 --> 00:02:59,580
Which one?

26
00:02:59,660 --> 00:03:01,120
Well, you know it says, give me an E?

27
00:03:01,840 --> 00:03:04,440
Yeah. I thought, a drug reference, you
see.

28
00:03:05,050 --> 00:03:06,090
really be associated with that.

29
00:03:06,350 --> 00:03:08,490
Why not? But I'm still a policeman at
the moment.

30
00:03:08,810 --> 00:03:09,810
You want my advice?

31
00:03:10,470 --> 00:03:11,590
Take to being a policeman.

32
00:03:12,130 --> 00:03:14,450
Because it's really not very good.

33
00:03:14,890 --> 00:03:17,570
Because it's got TV coverage of Korea,
you see.

34
00:03:17,970 --> 00:03:18,809
No, no, no.

35
00:03:18,810 --> 00:03:21,790
The point is it's crap.

36
00:03:23,470 --> 00:03:26,310
I've got a file that I keep this sort of
stuff in.

37
00:03:28,870 --> 00:03:32,010
So you keep tape? Yeah, I'll keep the
tape.

38
00:03:32,510 --> 00:03:33,510
Future reference.

39
00:03:34,220 --> 00:03:39,260
Right, so you will... Oh, yeah, you've
got my telephone numbers. You've got my

40
00:03:39,260 --> 00:03:40,360
telephone numbers, Tony.

41
00:03:40,640 --> 00:03:44,240
Really very, very pleased to meet you,
but I can't believe how bad that was.

42
00:03:44,240 --> 00:03:46,040
We'll see you again. Yes, absolutely
right.

43
00:03:46,940 --> 00:03:47,940
Hey,

44
00:03:48,480 --> 00:03:52,240
great, well, so we'll hear from you
then. You've heard from me.

45
00:03:52,540 --> 00:03:55,440
Right, OK. Thank you. Thank you, Tony.
See you again.

46
00:03:55,660 --> 00:03:56,619
Brilliant. Thanks.

47
00:03:56,620 --> 00:03:57,620
Thanks, Tony.

48
00:03:58,320 --> 00:04:02,580
Well, here we are at last. I can tell
you we are on the eve of Operation

49
00:04:03,580 --> 00:04:09,380
which is probably the biggest operation
mounted by a police force in conjunction

50
00:04:09,380 --> 00:04:12,980
or in tandem with the Spanish police for
the last 20 years.

51
00:04:13,860 --> 00:04:16,959
And I'm happy that you're going to be
there to witness this.

52
00:04:17,620 --> 00:04:22,780
Naturally, the burden of responsibility
falls on my shoulders, but as you

53
00:04:22,780 --> 00:04:25,060
probably know me by now, I relish such
challenges.

54
00:04:25,800 --> 00:04:28,180
I hope it makes good telly.

55
00:04:30,100 --> 00:04:31,260
Well, this is it.

56
00:04:33,120 --> 00:04:35,040
Blood, sweat and tears and vigorous
training.

57
00:04:35,520 --> 00:04:39,680
We're all ready for Operation Zorro,
which will be out in Spain, alongside

58
00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:40,680
Spanish police.

59
00:04:41,440 --> 00:04:45,620
So, well, if you want to join us, we're
all packing, getting ready to go, and

60
00:04:45,620 --> 00:04:47,520
here's to it.

61
00:04:48,100 --> 00:04:49,100
Muchas gracias.

62
00:04:50,260 --> 00:04:53,260
But there's a problem already with
Beach's trunk.

63
00:04:53,560 --> 00:04:55,400
There are liquids in there. I packed
that in the trunk.

64
00:04:56,420 --> 00:05:01,100
Is that heavy, Sarge?

65
00:05:03,070 --> 00:05:06,730
There's no room for your... Out. All the
baggage. There's no room for you or

66
00:05:06,730 --> 00:05:07,730
your baggage in there.

67
00:05:08,190 --> 00:05:10,010
It's just for my trunk. Just put it in.

68
00:05:10,610 --> 00:05:13,010
I've only got a little one, sir.

69
00:05:13,270 --> 00:05:17,110
Come on, we're late. Come on, everything
out.

70
00:05:18,310 --> 00:05:21,130
I've weighed them three times with 75
keys open.

71
00:05:21,590 --> 00:05:23,410
I've talked to the airline.

72
00:05:23,690 --> 00:05:24,830
I've told them we were pre -shopped.

73
00:05:25,040 --> 00:05:28,680
On operation, mate. Well, what's 75...
What's that in old money?

74
00:05:28,920 --> 00:05:32,460
It's 75 big bags of sugar. That's too
much, isn't it?

75
00:05:32,820 --> 00:05:33,940
Something's got to go here.

76
00:05:34,160 --> 00:05:35,580
Gentlemen, if I have your attention,
please.

77
00:05:35,800 --> 00:05:39,500
Bones, will you open this bag, please?
Let's see what you've got inside there.

78
00:05:39,960 --> 00:05:42,000
No, close it. Close it, please.

79
00:05:42,380 --> 00:05:44,020
Oh, it always smells like that.

80
00:05:44,260 --> 00:05:44,939
Thank you.

81
00:05:44,940 --> 00:05:47,340
This time it's hard. Please open the
bag.

82
00:05:47,760 --> 00:05:50,400
If you don't mind, let's see what you've
got in there.

83
00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:52,540
I'd rather not search it. Why not?

84
00:05:53,100 --> 00:05:55,580
Oh, I'll open it. If you don't want to
open it. Go in front of the cameras.

85
00:05:57,620 --> 00:05:59,500
Hold on a minute, guys.

86
00:05:59,740 --> 00:06:01,280
No, that's for surveillance.

87
00:06:01,860 --> 00:06:04,960
Oh, I'm not going. Hold on, hold on.
That's disgusting.

88
00:06:05,320 --> 00:06:06,320
Oh, wait.

89
00:06:07,300 --> 00:06:10,900
Oh, wait. I'll put it in the car next to
me. Are we really using these things

90
00:06:10,900 --> 00:06:11,839
once again?

91
00:06:11,840 --> 00:06:15,720
You signed the chip first. I signed the
chip? Yeah, he bought four of them.

92
00:06:16,200 --> 00:06:17,420
I mean, is it morally correct?

93
00:06:17,840 --> 00:06:19,620
Oh, he bought two males, two females.

94
00:06:21,590 --> 00:06:22,830
This is a joke, isn't it?

95
00:06:23,210 --> 00:06:24,210
Golf clubs?

96
00:06:24,530 --> 00:06:27,730
It's not a holiday, it's a police
operation. Get rid of them. No, I'm

97
00:06:27,730 --> 00:06:31,030
explain to my uncle. He wants me to
deliver them in Spain to his villa.

98
00:06:31,350 --> 00:06:32,670
To the commissioner's clubs? Yeah.

99
00:06:33,710 --> 00:06:34,930
I'm rather smart, aren't I, Taylor?

100
00:06:35,230 --> 00:06:36,850
I might take a lesson myself in a
moment.

101
00:06:37,510 --> 00:06:39,830
Bill, well done. Nice and compact.

102
00:06:40,650 --> 00:06:41,650
What's this?

103
00:06:42,590 --> 00:06:43,469
It's a guitar.

104
00:06:43,470 --> 00:06:44,890
I know it's a guitar. Get rid of it.

105
00:06:45,290 --> 00:06:47,090
Thank you. He can take his clubs.

106
00:07:09,020 --> 00:07:14,180
In terms of sugar, what would it be? Two
lumps?

107
00:07:14,620 --> 00:07:15,740
Four lumps.

108
00:07:17,760 --> 00:07:19,360
Thank you. Leopard skin pants.

109
00:07:19,620 --> 00:07:20,640
Not the leopard skins.

110
00:07:20,940 --> 00:07:21,919
The leopard skin pants.

111
00:07:21,920 --> 00:07:25,440
About the same, two, three, four? No,
these are about two lumps. Two lumps,

112
00:07:25,460 --> 00:07:26,460
okay, T -shirt.

113
00:07:27,080 --> 00:07:28,080
Right.

114
00:07:28,420 --> 00:07:30,580
One pair of pants, two lumps.

115
00:07:32,080 --> 00:07:34,600
One pair of leopard skin pants, two
lumps.

116
00:07:36,220 --> 00:07:38,560
Passports for left -hand tickets, right,
hold them up now, please.

117
00:07:38,820 --> 00:07:40,600
Everybody got one? Good, thank you.

118
00:07:41,300 --> 00:07:42,300
Have a look at that.

119
00:07:42,720 --> 00:07:44,560
Do you want to see this? Yeah, let's
have a look.

120
00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:48,600
There he is.

121
00:07:51,160 --> 00:07:52,200
We've got a real problem.

122
00:07:52,480 --> 00:07:54,860
What is that? There's nothing like you.

123
00:07:55,220 --> 00:07:58,960
No, it's a nine -year -old passport.
It's the vaguest reason.

124
00:07:59,360 --> 00:08:00,059
That's right.

125
00:08:00,060 --> 00:08:02,660
Well, it is me. You're going to
embarrass me. You're not going to get in

126
00:08:02,660 --> 00:08:03,639
country with this.

127
00:08:03,640 --> 00:08:06,300
I can't run that risk. You've got to do
something about it now.

128
00:08:07,120 --> 00:08:08,120
Okay,

129
00:08:08,460 --> 00:08:09,460
good, guys. Come on.

130
00:08:09,960 --> 00:08:11,360
We've got a slight hiccup.

131
00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:14,700
It's too heavy.

132
00:08:15,550 --> 00:08:17,210
He's not too heavy, Ray.

133
00:08:17,610 --> 00:08:21,230
It is within the legal age. I can't
explain to this young lady that he's not

134
00:08:21,230 --> 00:08:24,090
heavy. I have been quite meticulous.

135
00:08:25,190 --> 00:08:28,750
I have obeyed to the letter, the
instructions of your airline.

136
00:08:29,270 --> 00:08:30,270
Too heavy.

137
00:08:30,350 --> 00:08:35,010
We have lost, as a group of people, we
have lost 75 kilos to come on this trip.

138
00:08:35,010 --> 00:08:37,510
And that's Mark Bagel. He has left his
bag at home.

139
00:08:38,190 --> 00:08:39,190
Oh, come on.

140
00:08:39,610 --> 00:08:40,610
Unfortunately,

141
00:08:41,390 --> 00:08:43,230
Mark has left his bag unattended.

142
00:08:49,819 --> 00:08:54,160
I mean, I'm the first to admit, you
know, I'm not the greatest policeman,

143
00:08:54,160 --> 00:08:58,200
know, on the planet, but I think I could
look anyone in the eye and say that I

144
00:08:58,200 --> 00:09:02,320
think I have got a talent for dancing. I
mean, it's like it just gives me an

145
00:09:02,320 --> 00:09:06,100
energy. You know, like them porridge
commercials where they had sort of

146
00:09:06,300 --> 00:09:08,580
It's that it just completely envelops
me.

147
00:09:09,180 --> 00:09:11,880
I mean, I know it's very important that
we're going out there for Operation

148
00:09:11,880 --> 00:09:16,210
Zorro. But, I mean, I really wish it was
the Europeans, you know, that I was

149
00:09:16,210 --> 00:09:16,989
going out for.

150
00:09:16,990 --> 00:09:22,710
Thank you very much.

151
00:09:23,050 --> 00:09:24,050
Thank you.

152
00:09:27,810 --> 00:09:29,350
Because I'm quite a fast dancer.

153
00:09:29,610 --> 00:09:33,330
I mean, say, for instance, that speed
like that, you know, it's quite

154
00:09:34,150 --> 00:09:35,970
It wouldn't blur, would it, on that one?

155
00:09:36,190 --> 00:09:37,190
No, no.

156
00:09:43,760 --> 00:09:47,600
Do you think, sort of like that, or the
Y -fronts? I mean, normally when I

157
00:09:47,600 --> 00:09:52,300
dance, I'm sort of oiled. You know,
like... I don't know, it's just...

158
00:09:52,300 --> 00:09:53,239
like that would be better.

159
00:09:53,240 --> 00:09:54,240
What, ribbed?

160
00:10:08,840 --> 00:10:10,940
It's important that they're pink,
because then they match.

161
00:10:11,280 --> 00:10:12,340
See? Everything.

162
00:10:16,210 --> 00:10:19,030
Thank you Quite

163
00:10:19,030 --> 00:10:39,830
an

164
00:10:39,830 --> 00:10:41,130
accident when I was a child

165
00:10:42,680 --> 00:10:44,500
Or left testicle, it's been removed.

166
00:10:45,780 --> 00:10:48,620
Please be alarmed, there's a strong
explosion.

167
00:10:49,600 --> 00:10:50,900
Please be alarmed.

168
00:10:54,660 --> 00:10:55,880
What's it, Mark? Black or white?

169
00:10:56,180 --> 00:10:57,180
Or both?

170
00:10:57,560 --> 00:10:58,560
Eh?

171
00:10:58,740 --> 00:10:59,740
That one.

172
00:11:00,620 --> 00:11:03,200
For Beach, there are more troubles
afoot.

173
00:11:03,580 --> 00:11:05,280
It doesn't look like it's broken. It's a
wheelchair.

174
00:11:06,120 --> 00:11:08,880
Can you wiggle your toes, sir? A little,
sorry.

175
00:11:09,080 --> 00:11:10,180
That's it. Can you feel that?

176
00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:12,020
Oh, my God.

177
00:11:12,400 --> 00:11:13,400
Is it broken?

178
00:11:13,540 --> 00:11:14,539
I'm sorry.

179
00:11:14,540 --> 00:11:15,960
I dropped it on his foot.

180
00:11:16,500 --> 00:11:19,880
It's so heavy, the thing. I was trying
to prove to the ground start. It was

181
00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:22,800
light. It dropped on his foot. You will
be bloody sorry.

182
00:11:23,880 --> 00:11:25,320
It's all around the instep area.

183
00:11:26,040 --> 00:11:27,040
I need pain.

184
00:11:27,540 --> 00:11:30,260
Quickly, please. I am in agony.

185
00:11:30,580 --> 00:11:33,200
I wish you'd get a doctor. Please get me
something, will you?

186
00:11:40,940 --> 00:11:43,280
Have you ever noticed how horny you get
in airports?

187
00:11:43,840 --> 00:11:44,840
Do you know why that is?

188
00:11:45,260 --> 00:11:49,220
It's because all the pheromones are
released from the body.

189
00:11:49,440 --> 00:11:50,740
Is it? Yeah, it's because of the
excitement.

190
00:11:51,040 --> 00:11:53,880
Well, ever since my loss, I've had a
priapism anyway.

191
00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:55,480
A what?

192
00:11:56,100 --> 00:11:57,100
Constant erection.

193
00:11:57,800 --> 00:11:59,100
These are special forces.

194
00:12:00,240 --> 00:12:02,360
They're for gunshot wounds.

195
00:12:02,600 --> 00:12:05,280
You know, like really, really heavy
stuff. Do you know what I mean? There's

196
00:12:05,280 --> 00:12:07,640
side effects. Yeah, they're called
contraindications.

197
00:12:08,120 --> 00:12:09,520
Nausea. Trimmers.

198
00:12:10,220 --> 00:12:15,040
blurred vision, constipation, loss of
coordination, blurred vision, and

199
00:12:15,040 --> 00:12:16,040
hallucination.

200
00:12:16,840 --> 00:12:18,080
Oh, charming.

201
00:12:18,300 --> 00:12:19,300
You know what they are, don't you?

202
00:12:20,420 --> 00:12:21,420
Pheromones. No.

203
00:12:21,960 --> 00:12:25,780
It's something you give off a smell, and
pigs have exactly the same... Oh, yeah,

204
00:12:25,780 --> 00:12:27,160
yeah, I know what you're talking about,
yeah.

205
00:12:27,520 --> 00:12:31,460
So, what, if you sort of rubbed a pork
chop all over your body, then it'd be

206
00:12:31,460 --> 00:12:33,720
attractive? I don't know, you could try
it, I suppose.

207
00:12:34,220 --> 00:12:37,040
But it's like, they've got this new...
They're actually trying to bottle it.

208
00:12:37,630 --> 00:12:39,990
And if they can get it, mate, you will
be like Casanova.

209
00:12:41,510 --> 00:12:43,070
They could probably call it pig or
something.

210
00:12:43,790 --> 00:12:44,790
Excuse me, mate.

211
00:12:46,770 --> 00:12:50,510
Can you explain to me why my bag's just
been blown up?

212
00:12:52,790 --> 00:12:54,650
I'm not being funny. I just left it over
there and that's it.

213
00:12:54,930 --> 00:12:55,990
That's my uncle's clubs.

214
00:12:56,610 --> 00:12:58,710
That's £1 ,500 worth of clubs and you've
just blown them up.

215
00:13:01,130 --> 00:13:02,130
It's like, you know, what?

216
00:13:02,490 --> 00:13:03,550
What are you going to do about it?

217
00:13:04,130 --> 00:13:05,150
They think it's a bit of a liberty.

218
00:13:06,780 --> 00:13:07,780
Eh?

219
00:13:08,340 --> 00:13:09,740
Maybe you could do something with your
testicle.

220
00:13:12,140 --> 00:13:13,680
Yeah, but then I wouldn't have it, would
I?

221
00:13:14,260 --> 00:13:17,120
They could take a little, what do they
call it, you know, a biopsy.

222
00:13:19,420 --> 00:13:21,260
Well, they did anyway, a big biopsy.

223
00:13:21,480 --> 00:13:22,399
Not the whole thing.

224
00:13:22,400 --> 00:13:25,280
No, out of the jar, though. They took a
bit of that, and you could find it to

225
00:13:25,280 --> 00:13:26,500
isolate your pheromones.

226
00:13:27,380 --> 00:13:28,640
Then you'd have women all over you.

227
00:13:29,940 --> 00:13:31,260
Better than rubbing pig on you, isn't
it?

228
00:13:32,740 --> 00:13:33,840
All right, gather round, please.

229
00:13:34,380 --> 00:13:35,980
Mark, come on, come in here.

230
00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:38,060
Quickly, Mark. I don't have much time
left.

231
00:13:41,080 --> 00:13:42,300
What happened to your bag?

232
00:13:42,940 --> 00:13:44,040
It got blown up, sir.

233
00:13:45,660 --> 00:13:48,840
It's not funny. It's happening already.
I'm seeing things.

234
00:13:49,480 --> 00:13:50,700
All right, listen, please.

235
00:13:50,940 --> 00:13:51,940
Seriously.

236
00:13:52,940 --> 00:13:58,080
For the next 24 hours, you are not to
obey any command I give to you here. You

237
00:13:58,080 --> 00:14:02,240
must ignore every command I give for the
next 24 hours. Is that perfectly clear?

238
00:14:02,380 --> 00:14:05,260
Sir, is that including that one?

239
00:14:06,020 --> 00:14:10,660
I'm relinquishing responsibility,
relinquishing my command to Sergeant Ash

240
00:14:11,740 --> 00:14:16,460
And Sergeant Ash will share command with
the big white rabbit in the lederhosen.

241
00:14:18,780 --> 00:14:21,380
The flight has not been without
incident.

242
00:14:21,820 --> 00:14:25,140
Yeah, you know, I wrestled him away from
the pilot and he was fine. And we

243
00:14:25,140 --> 00:14:27,860
landed and the chute went out and we all
got down there safely.

244
00:14:28,360 --> 00:14:31,440
And if he had his high heels on, it
would have punctured it. But thank God

245
00:14:31,440 --> 00:14:32,440
took them off.

246
00:14:33,200 --> 00:14:34,200
He's fine.

247
00:14:40,179 --> 00:14:46,020
Tell the truth that the governor, he let
us down a bit on the plane. I mean,

248
00:14:46,040 --> 00:14:49,840
I've taken a few of them special forces
painkillers myself before.

249
00:14:50,760 --> 00:14:52,240
All they did was kill the pain.

250
00:14:56,360 --> 00:14:58,920
It's just completely running amok in the
galley.

251
00:14:59,520 --> 00:15:01,180
So obviously everyone sort of looked up.

252
00:15:02,110 --> 00:15:05,550
He just went to go for the, you know,
like the exit, emergency exit, and then

253
00:15:05,550 --> 00:15:07,070
the steward rushed over, grabbed him.

254
00:15:07,390 --> 00:15:08,390
Leave me alone!

255
00:15:08,610 --> 00:15:10,110
Get the camera out of the way, will you?

256
00:15:10,510 --> 00:15:15,410
I was in the toilet, and, you know, I
heard all the ruckus going on. I came

257
00:15:15,490 --> 00:15:17,010
I thought it was a mid -air hijack.

258
00:15:17,250 --> 00:15:19,970
He'd come flying out of the toilet and
grabbed the governor, didn't he? I know,

259
00:15:20,030 --> 00:15:21,570
and then, you know, we found him.

260
00:15:22,170 --> 00:15:26,330
He was a hijacker. He could have been...
It's luck that we landed in Gibraltar,

261
00:15:26,330 --> 00:15:29,050
because if he had landed in Spain, they
would have shot us. Definitely.

262
00:15:29,250 --> 00:15:30,250
They would have shot us bang, you know.

263
00:15:53,940 --> 00:15:59,080
As an undercover police unit, the first
task is to make contact with the local

264
00:15:59,080 --> 00:16:00,260
MI6 operative.

265
00:16:01,650 --> 00:16:03,870
He did the meeting point.

266
00:16:04,750 --> 00:16:08,390
Even if it is the meeting point, mate,
MI6 ain't going to come with the camera

267
00:16:08,390 --> 00:16:09,390
in.

268
00:16:09,490 --> 00:16:14,030
There's no way. The camera's not even
disguised on that thing.

269
00:16:17,850 --> 00:16:20,990
MI6. So where are we meeting MI6?

270
00:16:23,510 --> 00:16:24,229
He's gone.

271
00:16:24,230 --> 00:16:25,230
He's gone.

272
00:16:25,770 --> 00:16:29,610
He might sweat all the toxins out,
mightn't he?

273
00:16:32,839 --> 00:16:34,520
Sir, I'll get you a nice little drink.

274
00:16:35,060 --> 00:16:41,360
I won't give you a drink. I'll get you
one later.

275
00:16:42,200 --> 00:16:43,200
I'll get you one later.

276
00:16:44,340 --> 00:16:47,700
Look, you all know the password that the
government's given you. You all know

277
00:16:47,700 --> 00:16:50,740
it. Go and use it. Go and find someone.
Use it now.

278
00:16:51,480 --> 00:16:53,720
Listen, take your hat off.

279
00:16:54,040 --> 00:16:54,480
I

280
00:16:54,480 --> 00:17:01,640
made

281
00:17:01,640 --> 00:17:04,920
this password up myself.

282
00:17:06,060 --> 00:17:08,480
I don't want to blow me on trumpet, I
think it's very good.

283
00:17:09,099 --> 00:17:14,520
Anybody who is working undercover will
tell you that the more obscure the

284
00:17:14,520 --> 00:17:15,940
password, the better it is.

285
00:17:17,119 --> 00:17:19,079
And I'm quite proud of this one.

286
00:17:20,380 --> 00:17:22,000
We're going where the sun shines
brightly.

287
00:17:22,750 --> 00:17:24,010
We're going where the sea is blue.

288
00:17:24,650 --> 00:17:25,790
We've seen it in the movies.

289
00:17:27,069 --> 00:17:28,310
Now let's see if it's true.

290
00:17:28,590 --> 00:17:29,770
Right. Okay.

291
00:17:30,570 --> 00:17:32,250
Are you the one?

292
00:17:33,110 --> 00:17:34,130
No. Oh.

293
00:17:34,550 --> 00:17:37,810
Everybody loves a summer holiday. Doing
things they always wanted to. Fun and

294
00:17:37,810 --> 00:17:41,010
laughter on a summer holiday will make
our dreams come true for a week or two.

295
00:17:42,530 --> 00:17:43,509
That's not him.

296
00:17:43,510 --> 00:17:47,770
Ray, I'm feeling so much better. Just
let me outside. No, no. You nearly got

297
00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:54,420
I nearly let you out, but remember,
remember, you give me specific orders

298
00:17:54,420 --> 00:17:56,300
let you out, not to follow your orders.

299
00:17:56,760 --> 00:17:57,760
You're not you.

300
00:17:58,520 --> 00:17:59,520
You're not you.

301
00:18:00,120 --> 00:18:03,540
Stop it.

302
00:18:03,880 --> 00:18:05,400
Don't swear. You're not you.

303
00:18:06,080 --> 00:18:07,520
He's not him. He's not.

304
00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:19,000
We're all going.

305
00:18:19,180 --> 00:18:23,300
We're going where the sun shines
brightly.

306
00:18:24,420 --> 00:18:26,340
We're going where the sea is blue.

307
00:18:26,820 --> 00:18:30,040
At long last, contact is made with MI6.

308
00:18:31,300 --> 00:18:32,300
Why are you late?

309
00:18:32,380 --> 00:18:34,760
I see you've got the film through again.
All right, guys, smart. What the bloody

310
00:18:34,760 --> 00:18:35,760
hell are you doing here?

311
00:18:35,960 --> 00:18:37,240
I'm the MI6 guy.

312
00:18:37,440 --> 00:18:38,419
You what?

313
00:18:38,420 --> 00:18:39,620
I work for MI6.

314
00:18:40,560 --> 00:18:41,560
Joke! No.

315
00:18:41,800 --> 00:18:43,940
Roy, Roy, unstrap me, will you?

316
00:18:44,380 --> 00:18:46,980
If you work for MI6, get these straps
off. Yeah, I can't really do anything

317
00:18:46,980 --> 00:18:47,980
because I've got a password.

318
00:18:48,060 --> 00:18:49,060
What's a password?

319
00:18:49,080 --> 00:18:52,060
It's part of the process, MI6. I need a
password. It's a summer holiday.

320
00:18:52,380 --> 00:18:54,520
No, I need the whole thing. I need the
whole song.

321
00:18:54,720 --> 00:18:58,300
I don't know the whole bloody song, Roy.
That's a password. You've got no

322
00:18:58,300 --> 00:18:59,300
password.

323
00:18:59,640 --> 00:19:02,260
We're going where the sun shines
brightly. We're going where the sea is

324
00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:04,940
I've seen it on the movies. Let's see if
it's true. Who?

325
00:19:05,420 --> 00:19:06,940
That second verse means the first verse.

326
00:19:07,649 --> 00:19:13,210
So we're just here looking for
undercover MI6 people. And that was the

327
00:19:13,850 --> 00:19:14,850
Oh, right.

328
00:19:14,890 --> 00:19:16,410
So we couldn't know if it seemed a bit
mad.

329
00:19:16,650 --> 00:19:18,110
Do you know who you remind me of? What?

330
00:19:18,710 --> 00:19:20,430
You know that thing, the boy over there?

331
00:19:20,850 --> 00:19:23,410
Yeah. You really, really look like him.

332
00:19:24,190 --> 00:19:26,990
Really? Yeah. Do you think any Italian
or Latin in you?

333
00:19:27,710 --> 00:19:28,730
Not that I think of.

334
00:19:28,930 --> 00:19:31,010
Yeah. I don't know, I must just be
there.

335
00:19:33,350 --> 00:19:35,210
Seen it on the movies.

336
00:19:36,690 --> 00:19:38,470
Seen it at the movies.

337
00:19:38,770 --> 00:19:40,650
Let's see if it's true.

338
00:19:41,250 --> 00:19:42,250
Come on, Roy.

339
00:19:42,870 --> 00:19:45,810
I've done that bit.

340
00:19:46,310 --> 00:19:49,530
Everybody loves a summer holiday.

341
00:19:49,750 --> 00:19:52,690
Doing things they always wanted to.

342
00:19:53,410 --> 00:19:56,770
Fun and love grown up. Summer holiday.

343
00:19:57,170 --> 00:19:59,130
Make their dreams come true.

344
00:20:01,100 --> 00:20:04,420
For a week or two Am I sick?

345
00:20:05,760 --> 00:20:07,020
Am I sick? No?

346
00:20:07,500 --> 00:20:09,140
No. No. No.

347
00:20:13,020 --> 00:20:14,320
Have another go.

348
00:20:14,540 --> 00:20:15,540
Have another go.

349
00:20:15,940 --> 00:20:18,400
There's no need for the F word. Would
you kiss your mother with that mouth?

350
00:20:18,400 --> 00:20:19,960
on. Oh, God, help me!

351
00:20:20,660 --> 00:20:23,700
Do you want to meet up later on? Perhaps
go for a drink or something like that?

352
00:20:23,980 --> 00:20:25,600
Yeah. Yeah, sounds good.

353
00:20:26,140 --> 00:20:27,920
What, you'd actually meet me for a
drink?

354
00:20:30,180 --> 00:20:31,180
Really?

355
00:20:31,440 --> 00:20:35,700
Well, 40 years of age and I've never
been out with a girl before.

356
00:20:36,320 --> 00:20:38,040
I've asked them, but I've always
refused.

357
00:20:38,440 --> 00:20:42,280
And what you just witnessed, I asked
that girl out for a drink and she said

358
00:20:43,120 --> 00:20:44,560
Why this time, I don't know.

359
00:20:45,700 --> 00:20:47,840
I'm over the moon, actually.

360
00:20:48,960 --> 00:20:49,960
Over the moon.

361
00:20:50,300 --> 00:20:53,240
It's lovely to see you guys again. It's
lovely. It's been a long year.

362
00:20:53,500 --> 00:20:56,300
Got a couple of hotels out here now. The
good guys are staying at one of them,

363
00:20:56,340 --> 00:20:59,240
actually. Quite a few people. And life's
sweet, you know.

364
00:20:59,560 --> 00:21:04,180
Then MI6 asked me to help out. I
thought, why not?

365
00:21:04,500 --> 00:21:06,940
Queen and country and all that. So,
yeah, doing all right, you know.

366
00:21:07,720 --> 00:21:08,940
Where are our rooms?

367
00:21:09,620 --> 00:21:12,320
Well, they're staying in them. They're
Belgian missionaries. They spend an

368
00:21:12,320 --> 00:21:15,100
day being a bit of a cock -up at
reception.

369
00:21:15,610 --> 00:21:18,530
But this is your hotel, is it not? Yeah,
but it's still at the brim.

370
00:21:18,850 --> 00:21:20,730
You knew we were coming?

371
00:21:21,050 --> 00:21:23,990
Well, yeah, technically, but they can't
leave till the morning because they're

372
00:21:23,990 --> 00:21:25,730
getting the train. So what are we
supposed to do then?

373
00:21:25,950 --> 00:21:26,950
Well, I thought you could sleep on
these.

374
00:21:27,690 --> 00:21:28,690
Look!

375
00:21:29,530 --> 00:21:32,390
That's one of them, you know when
they've got the dye in the swimming

376
00:21:32,390 --> 00:21:33,390
know when you have a Jimmy Riddle? Look!

377
00:21:33,990 --> 00:21:34,990
18 bucks, look!

378
00:21:35,470 --> 00:21:36,470
That's classic.

379
00:21:36,730 --> 00:21:37,850
You're like one of the Red Arrows, look.

380
00:21:38,770 --> 00:21:40,130
A lot of smoke fading out.

381
00:21:41,210 --> 00:21:42,230
I'll do a loop -the -loop.

382
00:21:51,530 --> 00:21:58,370
All of my life I've been searching for a

383
00:21:58,370 --> 00:22:05,110
love like yours To come knocking on my

384
00:22:05,110 --> 00:22:11,510
heart's open door And so, I just feel
that

385
00:22:11,510 --> 00:22:13,930
I need to come clean with you, that's
all.

386
00:22:14,170 --> 00:22:15,170
About what?

387
00:22:16,030 --> 00:22:18,670
It was quite difficult for me to say.

388
00:22:19,030 --> 00:22:20,210
Don't tell me you're married.

389
00:22:20,880 --> 00:22:22,360
No, no, no, it's not that.

390
00:22:23,900 --> 00:22:27,860
It's just that, um... What? What is it?

391
00:22:35,060 --> 00:22:36,440
Well, you still love me.

392
00:22:38,500 --> 00:22:39,500
Look, they're laughing.

393
00:22:39,640 --> 00:22:43,600
Was it one big joke on my part, or what?
It wasn't a joke. I wanted to take you

394
00:22:43,600 --> 00:22:46,160
swimming. What are you doing, taking the
piss out of me or something like that?

395
00:22:46,240 --> 00:22:47,520
I'm not taking the piss out of you.

396
00:22:48,460 --> 00:22:49,460
Let's go, please.

397
00:22:49,740 --> 00:22:51,340
No, I was just being honest with you.

398
00:22:52,700 --> 00:22:58,060
If she really loved you, she would have
loved you for your hair or not. Yeah,

399
00:22:58,060 --> 00:23:00,760
well, she never did, she. She obviously
don't like bald people.

400
00:23:01,200 --> 00:23:04,620
Uncovered. Yeah, have your laugh, have
your laugh. I just hope it don't happen

401
00:23:04,620 --> 00:23:06,020
to any one of you. Can I pull the rug on
him?

402
00:23:10,600 --> 00:23:12,080
I'm going to have to change my lyrics
now.

403
00:23:14,520 --> 00:23:15,840
It's a tragedy now.

404
00:23:17,840 --> 00:23:22,520
How could I know that you'll desert me?

405
00:23:23,300 --> 00:23:27,040
Because I have no hair.

406
00:23:28,300 --> 00:23:30,660
Right, now will you just do me a favour,
Strings?

407
00:23:31,080 --> 00:23:34,100
Just shut it, will you? Don't you like
it? Shut it.

408
00:23:34,780 --> 00:23:36,980
Andrew and all, go on, get away from me.

409
00:23:38,960 --> 00:23:40,700
Gives it a tragic twist, Sarge.

410
00:23:42,640 --> 00:23:45,200
And the BBC tends to agree.

411
00:23:47,290 --> 00:23:50,550
a perfect idea, and I just wanted to
give you a call about it. No, it'd be

412
00:23:50,550 --> 00:23:52,730
great. It'd be absolutely great. I mean,
I'm going to give it the full

413
00:23:52,730 --> 00:23:55,490
production number, and I think it's
going to be a summer hit. Please, trust

414
00:23:55,790 --> 00:23:56,790
Really.

415
00:23:57,350 --> 00:23:59,330
It's a tragic song.

416
00:23:59,890 --> 00:24:04,830
Very good news. The BBC want to make
this into a video, a top -class video.

417
00:24:04,910 --> 00:24:05,509
There you go.

418
00:24:05,510 --> 00:24:07,810
Yeah, but it's just to take the piss out
of me, isn't it, basically?

419
00:24:08,270 --> 00:24:09,270
I think it's excellent.

420
00:24:09,450 --> 00:24:11,510
I think we should look at it like that.
It wouldn't be a piss tape, would it?

421
00:24:11,550 --> 00:24:12,550
No. See, Sarge?

422
00:24:13,490 --> 00:24:15,910
It'll be like Robson and Jerome, because
it's the B.

423
00:24:16,410 --> 00:24:17,490
I'll do it to help you out.

424
00:24:18,050 --> 00:24:19,250
But, you know, I know what you're doing.

425
00:24:20,050 --> 00:24:21,050
Strings and ash, Sarge.

426
00:24:21,470 --> 00:24:22,369
Robson and Jerome.

427
00:24:22,370 --> 00:24:25,890
Look, come on, guys. Give it a go. Let's
do this video. We should all be in it.

428
00:24:25,970 --> 00:24:26,849
It'll be great.

429
00:24:26,850 --> 00:24:27,809
Here you go.

430
00:24:27,810 --> 00:24:28,810
Trust me.

431
00:24:28,950 --> 00:24:29,950
Definitely don't.

432
00:24:30,070 --> 00:24:33,510
I think so as well. I mean, I know
what's going to happen. We're going to

433
00:24:33,510 --> 00:24:34,530
really puffy.

434
00:24:35,110 --> 00:24:38,890
No, no. You are the hunk element. You
and Bill. To be honest, I'm not being

435
00:24:38,890 --> 00:24:42,440
funny, Strings. I mean, if you don't
mind, I mean... I'll do the

436
00:24:42,640 --> 00:24:44,860
I mean, I'll make sure it's done
properly. You're masculine choreography.

437
00:24:45,380 --> 00:24:47,980
We're a bunch of conscious emplacements,
aren't we?

438
00:24:48,220 --> 00:24:51,760
It's got to be asymmetrical with energy.
Do you get what I mean?

439
00:24:52,120 --> 00:24:55,860
So everything's sort of got sort of a
dynamism, almost like this. So I'm

440
00:24:55,860 --> 00:24:58,500
like that, it's almost like... Like
that, you know.

441
00:25:00,320 --> 00:25:01,320
Do you get what I mean?

442
00:25:01,360 --> 00:25:02,360
Maybe some spins.

443
00:25:02,860 --> 00:25:07,060
And I think... I had this sort of image
where we're sort of human dominoes, so

444
00:25:07,060 --> 00:25:08,009
we're all lying.

445
00:25:08,010 --> 00:25:11,690
We're all lined up along the beach and
it's like, top, top, top, top, top, you

446
00:25:11,690 --> 00:25:13,290
know. You know what I mean?

447
00:25:20,270 --> 00:25:26,690
I've never known a girl that I could
call

448
00:25:26,690 --> 00:25:28,550
my own.

449
00:25:30,290 --> 00:25:33,370
Give me strength and give me dignity.

450
00:25:36,230 --> 00:25:37,230
Something...

451
00:26:07,720 --> 00:26:08,720
No hair

452
00:27:47,310 --> 00:27:49,990
Baldy Song is now available at All Good
Record Shop.

453
00:27:58,510 --> 00:27:59,510
What, Mark?

454
00:28:00,070 --> 00:28:01,530
That video was puffy.

455
00:28:02,370 --> 00:28:03,850
I wish I'd done it now.

456
00:28:29,400 --> 00:28:33,640
Sixteen hours later, Beach was finally
released, in time for lunch.

457
00:28:34,380 --> 00:28:35,380
Bastards!

458
00:28:39,000 --> 00:28:39,600
Next

459
00:28:39,600 --> 00:28:46,560
week,

460
00:28:46,740 --> 00:28:50,680
the team face off to their biggest
challenge yet, Operation Zorro.