1 00:00:00,930 --> 00:00:05,730 Surveillance is 1 % action, 99 % boredom, as you know, and we have to 2 00:00:05,730 --> 00:00:07,230 of combating that boredom. 3 00:00:07,490 --> 00:00:08,530 Mind over matter. 4 00:00:09,050 --> 00:00:10,570 And remember, spunk. 5 00:00:11,430 --> 00:00:15,490 Silence, position, undercover, nocturnal know -how. 6 00:00:16,309 --> 00:00:19,610 All right, gentlemen, in order to combat the boredom, we're going to have a 7 00:00:19,610 --> 00:00:22,810 little exercise now in stillness. Silence and stillness. 8 00:00:23,450 --> 00:00:29,710 Just like the household cavalry, who stand there, unblinking, unmoving. 9 00:00:30,140 --> 00:00:32,980 For hours and hours and hours. Every day. 10 00:00:35,420 --> 00:00:37,800 We are going to do just that today. 11 00:00:38,860 --> 00:00:40,100 Ready to stopwatch, please. 12 00:00:41,960 --> 00:00:44,280 No. I didn't say start it. 13 00:00:44,600 --> 00:00:47,660 Stop it now. It won't stop. 14 00:00:48,020 --> 00:00:49,780 I can't get one to zero. 15 00:00:50,780 --> 00:00:53,580 I've tried that. 16 00:00:53,960 --> 00:00:57,700 It just doesn't go back to normal. Have a look at that. 17 00:00:57,920 --> 00:00:59,280 It needs to go back to zero. 18 00:01:00,250 --> 00:01:01,250 There you go, sir. 19 00:01:35,020 --> 00:01:36,040 The good guy. 20 00:02:00,840 --> 00:02:01,840 Oh! 21 00:02:02,220 --> 00:02:03,660 Dr. What? Right there. 22 00:02:04,080 --> 00:02:05,080 Mum! 23 00:02:05,700 --> 00:02:06,700 Back in. 24 00:02:07,160 --> 00:02:08,160 Now. 25 00:02:10,080 --> 00:02:12,220 Over in the corner by the benches. Now, please. 26 00:02:12,460 --> 00:02:13,820 Blowing all the way. Sorry, sir. 27 00:02:14,960 --> 00:02:16,560 Mum, they don't sting. 28 00:02:18,680 --> 00:02:19,680 Start the wash again. 29 00:02:20,300 --> 00:02:21,300 It's still going. 30 00:02:36,590 --> 00:02:37,770 What have you got there? 31 00:02:38,390 --> 00:02:39,390 What are you doing? 32 00:02:39,570 --> 00:02:40,930 I'm making my own butter, sir. 33 00:02:41,290 --> 00:02:42,290 What? 34 00:02:42,630 --> 00:02:44,090 Oi! I'm sorry, Bill. 35 00:02:44,410 --> 00:02:45,289 Over there. 36 00:02:45,290 --> 00:02:46,290 By the bench, now! 37 00:02:46,790 --> 00:02:48,070 I expected more of you. 38 00:02:48,610 --> 00:02:51,810 Burr Blanc, actually, sir. I don't think it was Raymond. Bloody Blanc. 39 00:02:52,030 --> 00:02:54,410 Making your butter on my tongue. Get over by those benches now. 40 00:02:55,070 --> 00:02:56,070 Go on. 41 00:02:57,690 --> 00:02:58,710 How long was that, Ray? 42 00:03:00,130 --> 00:03:01,310 25 seconds, sir. 43 00:03:02,210 --> 00:03:03,210 That's rather good. 44 00:03:04,750 --> 00:03:05,750 I'm impressed with that. 45 00:03:06,800 --> 00:03:11,280 Well, they're all laughing at me, but this is organic. I know exactly where it 46 00:03:11,280 --> 00:03:15,440 comes from. All that stuff in the supermarket, I don't trust it one iota. 47 00:03:15,700 --> 00:03:20,580 I mean, they irradiate all the milk, they put all hormones into the cows, 48 00:03:20,820 --> 00:03:23,880 everything. This comes from a mate of mine's farm, straight from it. 49 00:03:26,260 --> 00:03:27,300 Mmm, delicious. 50 00:03:31,260 --> 00:03:34,820 At least you know where it's coming from. 51 00:03:36,660 --> 00:03:38,320 Mmm, that is smashing. 52 00:03:39,400 --> 00:03:44,000 It's week two in the retraining programme and Hollywood comes to Hendon. 53 00:03:49,160 --> 00:03:56,060 We have Jude Law, well -known film star, and Bobby Lee Miller, who is Johnny 54 00:03:56,060 --> 00:04:00,120 Lee Miller, who is also an actor. 55 00:04:00,480 --> 00:04:04,160 Jude Law and Johnny Lee Miller are big -time Hollywood actors and their next 56 00:04:04,160 --> 00:04:05,400 roles are playing policemen. 57 00:04:05,870 --> 00:04:09,410 So they need to go somewhere and have a look and research it. 58 00:04:09,630 --> 00:04:12,530 So where do they come to? Us, the experts. 59 00:04:14,110 --> 00:04:19,910 Johnny, I saw you in Trainspot and I thought it was a very, very accurate 60 00:04:19,910 --> 00:04:21,390 portrayal of a heroin addict. 61 00:04:21,750 --> 00:04:23,410 Thank you. Brilliant, brilliant. 62 00:04:30,170 --> 00:04:34,910 Nobody told me he was a heroin addict. 63 00:04:35,480 --> 00:04:38,900 No, no, no. It was Trainspotting, sir, and he was just playing a heroine, you 64 00:04:38,900 --> 00:04:42,740 know. Look, Ray, I haven't spent all these years in the force not to 65 00:04:42,740 --> 00:04:46,600 an addict when I see one. And who is it? Look, he played a part as a highwayman 66 00:04:46,600 --> 00:04:48,780 in a... There you are. OK. 67 00:04:49,220 --> 00:04:50,560 Casting to type again. 68 00:04:51,040 --> 00:04:54,300 Ray, he's got addict written through him like Danish through bacon. 69 00:04:55,120 --> 00:05:00,760 He has, but it's all to do with earlobes, high forehead. 70 00:05:01,220 --> 00:05:02,520 It's a criminal type. 71 00:05:05,530 --> 00:05:07,010 Can I interrupt this for a second? Sorry. 72 00:05:10,510 --> 00:05:14,030 Let's get on with the job in hand. I'm sure these gentlemen have got better 73 00:05:14,030 --> 00:05:15,310 things to do than answer silly questions. 74 00:05:15,930 --> 00:05:22,650 Judy will be coming with us, and Johnny, you shoot up with the... The reason why 75 00:05:22,650 --> 00:05:26,830 we've separated you is because you're two different personalities, really, and 76 00:05:26,830 --> 00:05:30,370 think Johnny would benefit by being with the ART team. He needs to straighten 77 00:05:30,370 --> 00:05:31,370 out. 78 00:05:32,460 --> 00:05:36,420 He's just an actor. That was a performance. I appreciate he's your 79 00:05:36,420 --> 00:05:40,380 as far as I'm concerned, he's in the best place and with the best people to 80 00:05:40,380 --> 00:05:44,460 learn. You, however, Jude, you're a different kind of visual together. Stick 81 00:05:44,460 --> 00:05:45,460 with us. 82 00:05:46,080 --> 00:05:47,080 Sergeant Asher himself. 83 00:05:47,520 --> 00:05:48,560 And learn from us. 84 00:05:48,900 --> 00:05:50,560 We have a lot to offer you. 85 00:05:51,300 --> 00:05:52,299 I'm just here. 86 00:05:52,300 --> 00:05:56,620 I'm ears and eyes. I just want to... Be as authentic as I can in the 87 00:05:56,620 --> 00:05:57,620 performance. 88 00:05:57,980 --> 00:06:00,820 Ignore that, because as far as we're concerned, that means nothing to us. 89 00:06:01,760 --> 00:06:03,780 It's all had to us, isn't it? We've done all this before. 90 00:06:04,180 --> 00:06:07,500 We did documentaries. I hope you see some of that. Yeah, I was in a couple of 91 00:06:07,500 --> 00:06:11,160 videos. I saw a couple of the last few. Operation Good Guide. Yeah. It was 92 00:06:11,160 --> 00:06:12,160 received rather well. 93 00:06:12,360 --> 00:06:16,400 We got more mail than that hotel woman, didn't we? I've got some things. 94 00:06:16,800 --> 00:06:18,400 Did you? Yeah. Did you reply? 95 00:06:19,120 --> 00:06:20,140 Yeah, of course. Yeah. 96 00:06:20,420 --> 00:06:24,020 Yeah, you should. But this time, this could be the Jim and Jude show. 97 00:06:26,610 --> 00:06:29,390 Enough of that nonsense, but just stick close. 98 00:06:29,690 --> 00:06:32,330 I will do. And stick with me, kid. You'll learn a lot. 99 00:06:33,650 --> 00:06:35,330 Give me the camera, OK? 100 00:06:35,890 --> 00:06:36,990 You're not acting now. 101 00:06:37,310 --> 00:06:39,650 This is real, all right? OK, yeah. 102 00:06:39,850 --> 00:06:43,910 And I'm telling you something. If you want to do this job properly, you'd 103 00:06:43,910 --> 00:06:44,910 sharpen your act up. 104 00:06:45,050 --> 00:06:46,290 Take your hands off your hips. 105 00:06:47,050 --> 00:06:48,050 Stand up straight. 106 00:06:48,950 --> 00:06:49,950 How's that? 107 00:06:50,690 --> 00:06:51,690 Well, it's better. 108 00:06:52,150 --> 00:06:54,770 If you start... Don't... I'm talking. 109 00:06:55,310 --> 00:07:02,250 If you start slopping about and sniggering... Sorry, sir. 110 00:07:03,050 --> 00:07:05,590 ..you'll get nowhere fast. Do you understand what I'm saying to you? Yes. 111 00:07:05,830 --> 00:07:06,830 Sorry, I didn't hear that. 112 00:07:07,370 --> 00:07:08,490 Yes, Inspector. 113 00:07:09,350 --> 00:07:10,410 Good, sir. OK. 114 00:07:11,350 --> 00:07:12,350 Join your friend. 115 00:07:12,870 --> 00:07:13,870 Thank you. 116 00:07:14,470 --> 00:07:15,470 Thanks. Thank you. 117 00:07:16,310 --> 00:07:17,310 Sorry about that. 118 00:07:18,510 --> 00:07:23,160 Kojak had his lollipop and I was hoping to meet up with... You know, a policeman 119 00:07:23,160 --> 00:07:26,800 with a bit of attitude. Instead I ended up with this guy who's like, you know, 120 00:07:26,800 --> 00:07:30,260 with a little buck mouth and like that all afternoon. 121 00:07:30,580 --> 00:07:31,940 Leave me alone, leave me alone. 122 00:07:32,500 --> 00:07:37,760 Because you're head of this particular operation, this division, aren't you? 123 00:07:37,880 --> 00:07:39,680 Yes. And you're also the shortest guy here. 124 00:07:42,060 --> 00:07:46,220 Have you never heard the expression, I've just, in the life, you know, that's 125 00:07:46,220 --> 00:07:47,220 Pfizer and everything. 126 00:07:49,750 --> 00:07:52,470 Okay. I have heard that. Diamonds come in small packages. 127 00:07:53,150 --> 00:07:54,530 You're not a big feet man, are you? 128 00:07:55,250 --> 00:07:56,250 No, big socks. 129 00:08:00,550 --> 00:08:01,550 Anyway. 130 00:08:01,690 --> 00:08:02,690 Have you seen my wife? 131 00:08:03,510 --> 00:08:05,770 No, sir. I can't say I have. I don't smell her. 132 00:08:07,850 --> 00:08:09,390 That Johnny Lee Miller was in the audience. 133 00:08:10,350 --> 00:08:11,350 Yeah. 134 00:08:11,470 --> 00:08:12,510 Well, he's got it, hasn't he? 135 00:08:13,050 --> 00:08:15,370 I don't think so, sir. Find him. Now. 136 00:08:15,840 --> 00:08:16,960 He's a meaningless answer. 137 00:08:17,220 --> 00:08:21,920 He's the type is what he is. Are you sure you took it in? To find him now, 138 00:08:22,100 --> 00:08:23,100 you're always forgetting it. 139 00:08:23,760 --> 00:08:27,520 Right. Get Johnny Lee Miller. I'll ask him. Don't you ever bloody ask him. 140 00:08:27,520 --> 00:08:28,680 strip search him if necessary. 141 00:08:29,260 --> 00:08:35,020 One thing I must impress very heavily, particularly on you, Bill, the 142 00:08:35,020 --> 00:08:40,780 surveillance exercise that you're about to embark on is of paramount importance 143 00:08:40,780 --> 00:08:44,980 to us. It's points we need. We're being scored on this exercise. 144 00:08:45,770 --> 00:08:50,510 The other thing I need to press upon both of you is that we've been kindly 145 00:08:50,510 --> 00:08:51,850 the location by the Commissioner. 146 00:08:52,090 --> 00:08:55,510 It's his house, it's his personal property, it's being renovated at the 147 00:08:55,550 --> 00:08:57,630 so please take great care. 148 00:08:58,070 --> 00:09:02,090 Well, the next part of our training exercise is surveillance, of course, and 149 00:09:02,090 --> 00:09:06,250 Desard and his team have been chosen to do this. But as you know, Desard loves 150 00:09:06,250 --> 00:09:07,250 playing up to camera. 151 00:09:07,690 --> 00:09:09,730 So the BBC have come up with an excellent idea. 152 00:09:10,230 --> 00:09:14,650 See, in the Commissioner's house, they've concealed two hidden cameras 153 00:09:14,650 --> 00:09:17,430 two two -way mirrors, one at the back and one at the side. 154 00:09:17,710 --> 00:09:19,850 So Desard and his team will never know they're there. 155 00:09:21,010 --> 00:09:23,250 The surveillance exercise begins. 156 00:09:36,210 --> 00:09:39,770 See, the thing is, John, what you've got to do is those caps, silly caps they 157 00:09:39,770 --> 00:09:41,610 make you wear, just never wear them well. 158 00:09:42,090 --> 00:09:43,069 Shove them in there. 159 00:09:43,070 --> 00:09:45,030 Look at that. Looks good, doesn't it? See that? 160 00:09:45,650 --> 00:09:46,650 Good, doesn't it? 161 00:09:46,850 --> 00:09:48,030 Cutting a mean fellow out. 162 00:09:48,590 --> 00:09:52,750 Unaware of the cameras, De Thaard has found a good use for the two -way 163 00:09:54,390 --> 00:09:55,990 Then you pull it out like that. 164 00:09:58,650 --> 00:10:01,170 Hey, you're getting the hang of that. 165 00:10:01,570 --> 00:10:02,750 Helps you balance as well. 166 00:10:03,280 --> 00:10:06,660 What we're going to do now... Meanwhile, Jude begins his research. 167 00:10:08,360 --> 00:10:11,900 I'm going to do a little exercise in how to trail someone for the viewers at 168 00:10:11,900 --> 00:10:14,800 home to show you how you trail somebody without being seen. 169 00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:16,700 So Ray and Jude... Where are you? 170 00:10:16,920 --> 00:10:17,919 Jude, come here. 171 00:10:17,920 --> 00:10:21,440 I'm going to walk off that way. I'm going to give them a certain amount of 172 00:10:21,480 --> 00:10:22,480 then I'm going to trail them. 173 00:10:22,640 --> 00:10:25,600 And you've got to try and lose me. And you've really got to go for this, 174 00:10:25,600 --> 00:10:28,480 if you don't go for it, it all falls down. It doesn't work at all. 175 00:10:28,540 --> 00:10:31,880 Jude? It's just like what we do when we go home, isn't it? Yeah, exactly that, 176 00:10:31,960 --> 00:10:32,960 Ray. 177 00:10:33,770 --> 00:10:34,770 No. 178 00:10:34,850 --> 00:10:35,850 Start again, start again. 179 00:10:36,230 --> 00:10:37,230 Take my hand and drive. 180 00:11:22,770 --> 00:11:25,990 46, 47, 48, 49, 50. 181 00:11:26,210 --> 00:11:27,550 Come in. Ready or not. Right. 182 00:11:40,770 --> 00:11:46,110 In his spare time, Bones is a vigilante crime fighter, and today he's recruiting 183 00:11:46,110 --> 00:11:47,110 Mark. 184 00:11:47,230 --> 00:11:49,570 to wear it. I'm not wearing it, Bones. It looks ridiculous. If you're coming 185 00:11:49,570 --> 00:11:53,430 vigilante crime fighter with me, you've got to wear it, I'm afraid. I'm sorry. 186 00:11:54,810 --> 00:11:57,250 That red over there, that'd be a fortune, mate. 187 00:11:58,070 --> 00:12:00,710 They're all over the house. There's about ten of them all over the house. 188 00:12:00,870 --> 00:12:03,570 They're the old, original Edwardian radiators. 189 00:12:03,830 --> 00:12:05,030 It is nice, though, isn't it? 190 00:12:05,470 --> 00:12:06,470 It's lovely, isn't it? Yeah. 191 00:12:06,710 --> 00:12:07,710 Lovely red. 192 00:12:08,050 --> 00:12:09,050 Quite nice. 193 00:12:09,290 --> 00:12:10,330 Ready? Here we go. Ready? 194 00:12:11,210 --> 00:12:12,210 That's it. 195 00:12:12,430 --> 00:12:13,069 That's it. 196 00:12:13,070 --> 00:12:14,090 We've got it. That's it. 197 00:12:15,010 --> 00:12:16,710 This is worth making it. 198 00:12:18,200 --> 00:12:22,320 Excuse me, I'm looking for two men. They must have come by here shortly, or a 199 00:12:22,320 --> 00:12:26,840 short while ago, I think. One's a tall chap, bald, and the other is good 200 00:12:26,840 --> 00:12:28,620 -looking, a famous actor, Jude Law. 201 00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:31,560 He was in Guitarka with Uma Thurman. 202 00:12:33,480 --> 00:12:36,580 Oh, there's another one with wild in there, something wild. 203 00:12:36,920 --> 00:12:37,920 Wild Bill Hickok? 204 00:12:37,960 --> 00:12:39,200 No, not Wild Bill Hickok. 205 00:12:40,400 --> 00:12:41,400 Wild at Heart. 206 00:12:42,060 --> 00:12:43,060 Born to be wild. 207 00:12:43,460 --> 00:12:45,800 No, no, no, that was a song. That was a song. Oh. 208 00:12:46,650 --> 00:12:47,650 No, you're right. 209 00:12:47,910 --> 00:12:50,350 Not a way. Thanks for your trouble. It's all right. 210 00:12:50,910 --> 00:12:52,310 Not quite the full ticket. 211 00:12:53,870 --> 00:12:55,670 Work it. Work it. 212 00:12:56,290 --> 00:12:57,730 Open your eyes. 213 00:12:58,590 --> 00:12:59,590 It's coming. It's coming. 214 00:12:59,970 --> 00:13:00,970 Got it. 215 00:13:02,610 --> 00:13:08,290 Look at that. 216 00:13:08,810 --> 00:13:11,710 Excuse me, mate. What, um... What zone is that in? 217 00:13:15,490 --> 00:13:17,290 So it's going to be cheaper when we have two of them? Yeah, two of them. 218 00:13:17,630 --> 00:13:18,630 Two of them. Yeah. 219 00:13:19,070 --> 00:13:20,070 Okay. 220 00:13:20,870 --> 00:13:22,590 Brilliant. Thank you. You've got them. 221 00:13:23,450 --> 00:13:25,690 You're better off getting a travel card. 222 00:13:26,690 --> 00:13:33,670 All right, 223 00:13:34,550 --> 00:13:39,330 so we've got the door, the fireplace, the cove ends, all the coving, isn't it? 224 00:13:39,570 --> 00:13:43,090 Bang bang. Door with knocker. Oh, yeah. Bang bang. 225 00:13:43,650 --> 00:13:44,650 Okay. 226 00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:48,340 Right. Five, six range, right? Yeah. 227 00:13:48,560 --> 00:13:51,480 Yeah. Five, six range. 228 00:13:52,060 --> 00:13:54,620 Let's start off. Yeah. Let's range on one of these then, yeah? 229 00:13:58,020 --> 00:13:59,020 Right. 230 00:13:59,260 --> 00:14:00,800 See between the two houses? 231 00:14:01,140 --> 00:14:05,200 Yeah. Look, just over the back garden to the back, there's that reclamation 232 00:14:05,200 --> 00:14:06,480 yard. See it? Yeah. 233 00:14:06,700 --> 00:14:07,700 Just there, mate. 234 00:14:07,800 --> 00:14:09,560 Right. That's where we're going now. 235 00:14:10,100 --> 00:14:11,100 Where's the dog, John? 236 00:14:12,140 --> 00:14:14,000 He took a bloody taxi. 237 00:14:14,830 --> 00:14:17,470 You took a bloody taxi. How can you get here so quickly? 238 00:14:17,810 --> 00:14:20,810 We walked. And how is Jude supposed to learn anything if you're not going to 239 00:14:20,810 --> 00:14:22,870 play the game properly? We walked. We walked slowly. 240 00:14:23,150 --> 00:14:24,150 We really did. We walked. 241 00:14:24,290 --> 00:14:25,290 Did you, Jim? Yeah. 242 00:14:26,290 --> 00:14:29,890 Sergeant de Sade needs a favour from Strings. All right, guys. 243 00:14:30,810 --> 00:14:31,589 How's it going? 244 00:14:31,590 --> 00:14:32,790 Johnny. All right. 245 00:14:33,430 --> 00:14:34,450 You've got this gear here. 246 00:14:34,710 --> 00:14:38,550 Get someone to put it over in the reclamation yard. Yeah. 247 00:14:38,770 --> 00:14:39,810 Be careful with it, though, won't you? 248 00:14:40,110 --> 00:14:41,110 Yeah, yeah. No problem. 249 00:14:41,330 --> 00:14:42,690 We'll have to set all the seats down. 250 00:14:43,110 --> 00:14:44,270 Yeah, all right. Well, yeah. 251 00:14:46,160 --> 00:14:47,160 It's a nice door, isn't it? 252 00:14:47,540 --> 00:14:50,160 We're not going to see nothing through Westminster. We want to show the camera 253 00:14:50,160 --> 00:14:51,160 some action, right? 254 00:14:51,340 --> 00:14:55,140 So what we want to do, we want to go up through here and go through sort of the 255 00:14:55,140 --> 00:14:59,100 east end, the bits that are a little bit dodgy, where it might, you know, we 256 00:14:59,100 --> 00:15:02,000 might get a bit of... If it's going to take us an hour and a half to go, it is. 257 00:15:02,060 --> 00:15:03,060 It doesn't matter. 258 00:15:03,180 --> 00:15:07,620 However long it takes, that's what we're here for, is to patrol the underground 259 00:15:07,620 --> 00:15:08,720 and protect people. 260 00:15:22,480 --> 00:15:24,260 Bonvid Vigilante Patrol begins. 261 00:15:25,000 --> 00:15:29,140 Mark, always, when you patrol, you always stand up as well. 262 00:15:29,340 --> 00:15:30,820 So you never sit down. 263 00:15:32,180 --> 00:15:34,340 Let other people have seats as well. 264 00:15:36,100 --> 00:15:38,540 Do it up as well. 265 00:15:39,800 --> 00:15:40,900 Do it up. Do it up. 266 00:15:41,980 --> 00:15:43,060 Chubby brown, look. 267 00:15:44,380 --> 00:15:47,680 Some sort of protection. 268 00:15:48,460 --> 00:15:49,460 Do it up. 269 00:15:49,700 --> 00:15:51,100 He's not coming with me again. 270 00:15:51,790 --> 00:15:54,310 I tell you, I'm better off on my own. 271 00:16:00,610 --> 00:16:01,610 Well, 272 00:16:06,250 --> 00:16:07,290 you must have hidden the doorway. 273 00:16:07,510 --> 00:16:08,950 No. And watched me go by. 274 00:16:09,210 --> 00:16:09,969 No, no. 275 00:16:09,970 --> 00:16:12,150 We walked straight, slowly. 276 00:16:12,830 --> 00:16:14,430 And then you went off the other way. 277 00:16:15,850 --> 00:16:19,670 Johnny's research takes him across a wide spectrum of police techniques. 278 00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:22,420 always remember, it's discipline. 279 00:16:23,100 --> 00:16:25,420 Without discipline, nothing works. 280 00:16:25,980 --> 00:16:27,340 Come on, darling, off you go. 281 00:16:31,340 --> 00:16:32,580 Oh, do you want a black sob? 282 00:16:32,860 --> 00:16:34,060 I will have it tomorrow, mate. 283 00:16:34,380 --> 00:16:35,620 A nice sob. 284 00:16:36,140 --> 00:16:37,180 Yeah, downstairs. 285 00:16:37,980 --> 00:16:38,980 There's someone sitting. 286 00:16:40,440 --> 00:16:41,440 Get up! 287 00:16:44,020 --> 00:16:48,280 Bring the handcuffs, bring the handcuffs. What the fuck are you doing? 288 00:16:48,280 --> 00:16:49,219 didn't cop us. 289 00:16:49,220 --> 00:16:50,220 Yes, we are. 290 00:16:54,550 --> 00:16:55,790 Hey! I'm police! 291 00:16:56,050 --> 00:16:56,749 Get down! 292 00:16:56,750 --> 00:17:00,550 Down! I'm behind your back! Let me see your eyes! Get back here! 293 00:17:00,850 --> 00:17:01,850 Behind your back! 294 00:17:04,190 --> 00:17:06,530 Didn't mean that. Not bad. 295 00:17:07,790 --> 00:17:08,790 Not bad. 296 00:17:08,849 --> 00:17:10,130 Don't you get moved! 297 00:17:11,910 --> 00:17:13,050 You've done that nice, mate. 298 00:17:13,250 --> 00:17:16,310 Yeah, it felt good. You're getting the hang of this. It looked good. It feels 299 00:17:16,310 --> 00:17:18,410 good. It looked good. You had the movement. Right, on your feet! 300 00:17:22,370 --> 00:17:26,569 Jude's invited me down to his film set, so that I can have a little look. He's 301 00:17:26,569 --> 00:17:28,890 got the right face for it. He might put me in as a little extra. Yeah. 302 00:17:29,810 --> 00:17:31,270 Would you mind if we did that? 303 00:17:32,190 --> 00:17:34,090 No, he's got the right face for it. 304 00:17:34,630 --> 00:17:37,170 You can do it, sir. Yeah, you'd be much better. 305 00:17:37,510 --> 00:17:38,570 I've had the experience. 306 00:17:39,750 --> 00:17:41,250 The net box mouth, wasn't it? 307 00:17:42,730 --> 00:17:44,070 No, he's just saying about your letter. 308 00:17:46,930 --> 00:17:49,050 When do we go down to the set? 309 00:17:49,550 --> 00:17:51,550 I can make an arrest. I can make a citizen's arrest. 310 00:17:51,810 --> 00:17:54,770 Come on, it's a citizen's arrest. We're coppers. You don't need to make a 311 00:17:54,770 --> 00:17:55,589 citizen's arrest. 312 00:17:55,590 --> 00:17:56,670 I mean, look at the state he's going. 313 00:17:56,970 --> 00:18:02,010 I'm a copper, I'm a copper. Look at the state he is. A catwoman on a bad night, 314 00:18:02,150 --> 00:18:03,590 yeah, but we still make the arrest. 315 00:18:04,290 --> 00:18:07,490 Jude Law's research carries on off duty. 316 00:18:07,850 --> 00:18:12,170 It's pretty action -packed, but I think it's important that you see the private 317 00:18:12,170 --> 00:18:16,170 life as well, the more domestic life that an officer has. 318 00:18:16,790 --> 00:18:18,010 Come in with me, Jude. 319 00:18:19,120 --> 00:18:20,120 Only me. 320 00:18:21,440 --> 00:18:22,399 Hi, Mum. 321 00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:26,600 Hello, love. Right, I'm just going to go up to my room with my friends. 322 00:18:26,820 --> 00:18:28,400 Can you give us a call when he's ready? 323 00:18:29,540 --> 00:18:30,540 Yeah, come this way. 324 00:18:32,080 --> 00:18:33,780 Come on, dude. 325 00:18:38,460 --> 00:18:41,940 Right, we'll just do a bit of platform work from now on. Yeah? 326 00:18:42,420 --> 00:18:44,200 So we just control the platform. 327 00:18:44,420 --> 00:18:46,520 You all right, missus? 328 00:18:48,970 --> 00:18:52,110 He's made me wear this stupid hat. I mean, apparently it's supposed to be 329 00:18:52,110 --> 00:18:53,870 protection from spitting, you know. 330 00:18:54,370 --> 00:18:55,670 I just think it's ridiculous. 331 00:18:56,850 --> 00:19:00,110 I mean, the one thing I will say is you can't mock him. 332 00:19:00,350 --> 00:19:02,030 I mean, he means well. 333 00:19:02,850 --> 00:19:05,130 You know, we're doing it of our own sort of spare time. 334 00:19:05,810 --> 00:19:06,810 That's fair enough. 335 00:19:20,649 --> 00:19:21,649 Gee, I'm sick. 336 00:19:21,790 --> 00:19:22,790 I tried out. 337 00:19:22,810 --> 00:19:29,490 It's great Yeah, you can see if you look around the walls you see that all 338 00:19:29,490 --> 00:19:33,470 my Hoover stuff I'm fascinated by Jagger Hoover 339 00:19:50,240 --> 00:19:52,780 This is a real FBI badge. 340 00:19:53,300 --> 00:19:54,300 Genuine article. 341 00:19:54,760 --> 00:19:56,660 People pay a lot of money for this stuff, don't they? 342 00:19:58,220 --> 00:19:59,220 Brilliant. 343 00:19:59,880 --> 00:20:06,400 And I've got here... It's belonged to Hoover. The stole, 344 00:20:06,580 --> 00:20:12,140 the wig, the net dress, and this beautiful bodice, which has actually got 345 00:20:12,180 --> 00:20:13,180 It's actually boned. 346 00:20:14,120 --> 00:20:18,840 It's not really my size, but Ray will put it on to see. 347 00:20:20,990 --> 00:20:25,130 Ray, put it on so Jude can see what it looks like. No, I'm sorry. That's an 348 00:20:25,130 --> 00:20:28,410 order, Ray. You're going to put it on right now. I'm going to give you some 349 00:20:28,410 --> 00:20:29,410 hair, Sergeant Ash. 350 00:20:29,950 --> 00:20:32,590 I don't want to. Put it on. 351 00:20:33,410 --> 00:20:34,410 Now. 352 00:20:36,810 --> 00:20:38,930 Don't normally sit down on these rums. 353 00:20:39,590 --> 00:20:42,430 Bones' homemade butter has returned to haunt him. 354 00:20:46,940 --> 00:20:49,980 dairy products on that one. No, it ain't dairy products, bones. It's butter, 355 00:20:50,040 --> 00:20:51,040 isn't it? 356 00:20:51,300 --> 00:20:52,760 What do you mean, the butter for, you idiot? 357 00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:57,140 It's curdling in your tummy. Never, never, never add to me before. I've 358 00:20:57,140 --> 00:20:58,340 been fine with it. 359 00:20:59,220 --> 00:21:03,320 Oh, you... Oh, you fucking bastard. 360 00:21:12,680 --> 00:21:16,660 Well, the reason it looks absolutely stupid is because you're just too dour. 361 00:21:16,920 --> 00:21:21,540 I'm not too dour. You are dour. You're not going to... It's stupid. 362 00:21:22,100 --> 00:21:23,700 It should... What? 363 00:21:25,100 --> 00:21:26,100 Don't come in. 364 00:21:26,800 --> 00:21:27,800 What's that? 365 00:21:27,860 --> 00:21:30,520 It's a television camera. They're doing a documentary. 366 00:21:30,800 --> 00:21:32,980 Oh. We have things coming. 367 00:21:33,520 --> 00:21:34,860 Hello. Hello. 368 00:21:35,300 --> 00:21:36,300 What's your name? 369 00:21:38,040 --> 00:21:39,040 Mary. 370 00:21:40,810 --> 00:21:42,970 There's no toilets in between here and there. 371 00:21:44,950 --> 00:21:47,110 It's not funny. Shut up. It's funny. 372 00:21:49,510 --> 00:21:53,310 Just go up there, then. I can't go on the pavement. I'm a police officer. 373 00:21:54,370 --> 00:21:56,570 Oh, no, it's coming out. 374 00:21:56,870 --> 00:21:57,870 Give me that bag! 375 00:21:58,750 --> 00:21:59,750 Give me that bag! 376 00:22:01,150 --> 00:22:03,430 You should film him. You should film him. Get up there. 377 00:22:09,260 --> 00:22:10,340 of privacy over here. 378 00:22:13,160 --> 00:22:16,560 Has anyone got a tissue? 379 00:22:18,220 --> 00:22:19,220 Leave it up here. 380 00:22:19,420 --> 00:22:21,680 How can I leave it up here? What if a kid opens it or something? 381 00:22:22,760 --> 00:22:23,760 It's disgusting. 382 00:22:24,140 --> 00:22:25,240 It's not that disgusting. 383 00:22:25,760 --> 00:22:29,320 It's a human function, a human bodily function. Everyone does it. 384 00:22:30,680 --> 00:22:31,680 Wait. 385 00:22:32,680 --> 00:22:34,660 It's so totally for real. 386 00:22:34,990 --> 00:22:37,890 I feel like I'm in a Philippine film. There's a reason about this. It's a 387 00:22:37,890 --> 00:22:41,270 fondue. You'll find that when you go and shoot your next movie in L .A., 388 00:22:41,270 --> 00:22:43,510 everybody's eating fondue. Do you work with men? 389 00:22:45,070 --> 00:22:46,770 Me, um... My sister does. 390 00:22:47,430 --> 00:22:48,430 Oh. No, Mum. 391 00:22:48,610 --> 00:22:49,930 Brothers. Brother. Brother. 392 00:22:51,370 --> 00:22:52,370 She's Mary Ash. 393 00:22:52,430 --> 00:22:53,430 Oh, mate. 394 00:22:53,490 --> 00:22:54,550 You look just like your brother. 395 00:22:54,790 --> 00:22:55,950 What, do you think so? Mm, you do. 396 00:22:56,930 --> 00:22:58,210 I've only got more hair. 397 00:22:58,810 --> 00:23:00,030 Sorry? Pardon? 398 00:23:01,230 --> 00:23:02,109 More hair. 399 00:23:02,110 --> 00:23:03,710 What's wrong with his hair? I haven't got any. 400 00:23:04,080 --> 00:23:07,720 Yeah, he's got borders of coot. He has, he's got some round the edges, he's got 401 00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:08,720 hair. I can't, 402 00:23:10,840 --> 00:23:12,300 I can't leave it for the dustman. 403 00:23:13,400 --> 00:23:14,540 Oi! Oi! Oi! 404 00:23:20,260 --> 00:23:25,760 I am an off -duty police officer. I am arresting you for actual robbery. 405 00:23:34,909 --> 00:23:35,930 You're Nick's son. 406 00:23:36,470 --> 00:23:37,990 Pick up the bag. What? 407 00:23:38,590 --> 00:23:40,590 What? Pick up the bag. 408 00:23:42,410 --> 00:23:43,410 I'm picking up the bag? 409 00:23:43,690 --> 00:23:46,550 I've got hold of the assailant. That is evidence, pal. 410 00:23:47,210 --> 00:23:51,750 No, that's a bag of your shit in there. I'm not watching it. That is evidence, 411 00:23:51,850 --> 00:23:53,610 mate. You pick it up. We've got to have that. 412 00:23:53,970 --> 00:23:54,970 Mary, 413 00:23:55,990 --> 00:23:56,990 you can come any time. 414 00:23:58,230 --> 00:24:01,310 Thank you. That's not very nice to do, is it? Don't do that. 415 00:24:01,750 --> 00:24:03,530 No, that's a terrible thing to do. 416 00:24:04,440 --> 00:24:07,820 I didn't bring him up to do that. No, you've done that before. 417 00:24:08,700 --> 00:24:11,000 You've been irritated all day. I don't know what's wrong with you. 418 00:24:12,520 --> 00:24:13,580 That's fucking bad. 419 00:24:14,880 --> 00:24:17,260 Desard has finally found a use for Johnny. 420 00:24:17,960 --> 00:24:19,900 He's going to abseil him out of the window. 421 00:24:21,900 --> 00:24:24,720 It's like a gargoyle, a big gargoyle, a stone gargoyle. 422 00:24:25,240 --> 00:24:26,740 Work that lotion, all right? 423 00:24:27,150 --> 00:24:29,250 And we'd take that. We'd take that down the recommendation. 424 00:24:29,550 --> 00:24:30,389 Oh, yeah. Nice. Yeah. 425 00:24:30,390 --> 00:24:31,390 Lovely. 426 00:24:32,590 --> 00:24:34,430 There's nothing to tie it to. 427 00:24:34,670 --> 00:24:35,670 We've had everything away. 428 00:24:35,950 --> 00:24:38,150 Yeah, I know. It's not a secure point in a room. 429 00:24:39,030 --> 00:24:40,310 What we'll do is we'll just hold it. 430 00:24:40,870 --> 00:24:41,950 I'll be there. Yeah. 431 00:24:42,490 --> 00:24:43,610 I'll be there. I'll be there. 432 00:24:43,850 --> 00:24:46,350 All right. Yeah, exactly. Well, we'll run it around you and then I'll hold it. 433 00:24:46,390 --> 00:24:48,090 Yeah. All right. No problem. All right, then. 434 00:24:48,710 --> 00:24:51,150 Now, work it loose. Work it. Work it. 435 00:24:51,490 --> 00:24:53,910 Yeah. That's it. Great. Brilliant. Brilliant. 436 00:25:05,930 --> 00:25:08,290 Now, Jude, this is something that might interest you. 437 00:25:08,930 --> 00:25:10,190 This is a bullet. 438 00:25:10,990 --> 00:25:14,970 A real bullet that was actually found in J. Edgar Hoover's gun on the day that 439 00:25:14,970 --> 00:25:16,630 he and his G -men shot John DeLinger. 440 00:25:17,690 --> 00:25:20,870 He's quite interesting, that's for sure. I'm sorry, I've never known you. Can I 441 00:25:20,870 --> 00:25:25,070 have a little look? Oh, man, you must have a little look. Why don't you get 442 00:25:25,070 --> 00:25:26,070 there? 443 00:25:26,090 --> 00:25:29,250 Oh, sorry. Nobody panic. No one panic. 444 00:25:30,930 --> 00:25:32,490 Just to fish it out. 445 00:25:32,790 --> 00:25:33,790 That's all. 446 00:25:39,950 --> 00:25:45,050 So I have to smile because it really is quite comical. So the trouble with these 447 00:25:45,050 --> 00:25:51,330 Hollywood types is Johnny Lee Miller, Jude Law, you know, they think the 448 00:25:51,330 --> 00:25:54,370 danger's all over, you know, so the director says, cut, which of course it 449 00:25:55,050 --> 00:25:58,410 But they found out, didn't they, that there's no stuntmen in this industry. 450 00:25:59,630 --> 00:26:03,330 But they'll be all right, you know, Johnny's leg is on the mend. 451 00:26:05,960 --> 00:26:07,900 You can live without a spleen. 452 00:26:08,860 --> 00:26:13,880 Meanwhile, Desard's new sideline in reclamation had paid off handsomely in 453 00:26:13,880 --> 00:26:15,240 form of a Toyota Felica. 454 00:26:16,200 --> 00:26:17,200 Sock top. 455 00:26:17,560 --> 00:26:18,640 Hello, sir. All right, Ray? 456 00:26:19,160 --> 00:26:22,120 Bit of evasive driving techniques are we showing, Johnny? 457 00:26:23,220 --> 00:26:24,220 How's the leg, Johnny? 458 00:26:24,480 --> 00:26:25,480 Not too bad. 459 00:26:25,620 --> 00:26:27,920 You know, it goes with the territory, doesn't it, really? I suppose it does, 460 00:26:28,040 --> 00:26:29,040 really, yeah. 461 00:26:29,580 --> 00:26:30,580 Ooh! 462 00:26:31,140 --> 00:26:32,480 What have I detected under there? 463 00:26:35,970 --> 00:26:36,970 Well, 464 00:26:40,050 --> 00:26:45,230 obviously, I've managed to soak up a lot of police activity. 465 00:26:45,450 --> 00:26:46,730 Well, I really feel like I have. 466 00:26:46,970 --> 00:26:51,250 I think I've got a lot that I can sort of start to use, the basic blocks from 467 00:26:51,250 --> 00:26:52,250 which we can build. 468 00:26:53,270 --> 00:26:57,290 And then I also learned a quite interesting amount about radiators, 469 00:26:57,450 --> 00:26:59,130 ceramics. 470 00:27:00,850 --> 00:27:01,850 You know... 471 00:27:02,320 --> 00:27:06,220 The different old brands of ceramics and how much money the reclamation yard 472 00:27:06,220 --> 00:27:08,320 will give you for different brands, it's quite interesting. 473 00:27:09,040 --> 00:27:14,820 Yeah, I'd say like an Armitage is, you know, not worth as much as I thought it 474 00:27:14,820 --> 00:27:15,820 was. 475 00:27:16,780 --> 00:27:19,560 The commissioner's house has been stripped bare. 476 00:27:21,340 --> 00:27:24,740 I took the Kobe next week, so all the Kobe. 477 00:27:25,500 --> 00:27:26,560 Get this one, right? 478 00:27:27,370 --> 00:27:30,810 Every inch of copper pipe has been taken from the house, which has caused 479 00:27:30,810 --> 00:27:33,330 flooding, which has caved in all the ceilings. 480 00:27:33,910 --> 00:27:36,810 There's untoward damage to the walls, there's holes knocked everywhere. 481 00:27:37,170 --> 00:27:38,850 All the fireplaces are gone. 482 00:27:39,090 --> 00:27:40,490 Give me a minute, I feel very tired. 483 00:27:40,830 --> 00:27:41,830 You all right? 484 00:27:42,070 --> 00:27:43,070 Sure? 485 00:27:43,790 --> 00:27:44,790 Yeah. 486 00:27:44,990 --> 00:27:47,790 Look at the front door. Even had the front door all the way. 487 00:27:48,750 --> 00:27:49,750 Can't believe it. 488 00:27:52,210 --> 00:27:54,030 Right, you sit down there a minute. 489 00:28:12,989 --> 00:28:17,270 The hidden cameras are finally discovered 490 00:28:34,700 --> 00:28:38,220 Next week, the team are involved in a murder mystery investigation.