1
00:00:00,780 --> 00:00:01,960
Stand easy, good guys.

2
00:00:02,280 --> 00:00:03,280
Stand easy.

3
00:00:03,800 --> 00:00:04,800
Ignore them.

4
00:00:04,820 --> 00:00:05,820
Shut up!

5
00:00:06,140 --> 00:00:06,979
Ignore them.

6
00:00:06,980 --> 00:00:08,540
Don't pay them any attention at all.

7
00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:12,560
It's great to see you all back in
uniform. I hope it feels good. I feel

8
00:00:12,560 --> 00:00:13,560
mine.

9
00:00:13,780 --> 00:00:14,780
Remember,

10
00:00:14,920 --> 00:00:19,820
this is a symbol of authority. The good
guys are back together.

11
00:00:20,420 --> 00:00:22,580
They have been demoted to uniform.

12
00:00:23,440 --> 00:00:28,220
This is not a step down at all. I don't
want you to think about this. And I

13
00:00:28,220 --> 00:00:29,860
don't want this referred to as a tit.

14
00:00:30,300 --> 00:00:31,218
At all.

15
00:00:31,220 --> 00:00:35,540
It has many uses, does it not, Ray?

16
00:00:36,040 --> 00:00:36,879
Such as?

17
00:00:36,880 --> 00:00:40,160
Well, you can stand on it and look over
garden walls and look for criminals.

18
00:00:40,320 --> 00:00:42,560
Indeed, you can gain height in this way.
In fact, we should demonstrate. Ray,

19
00:00:42,680 --> 00:00:43,860
you'll be my wall. OK.

20
00:00:44,820 --> 00:00:46,180
I'll always be a wall for you, sir.

21
00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:47,880
Climb up here.

22
00:00:51,240 --> 00:00:53,220
Well, don't just stand there and nick
them!

23
00:00:53,580 --> 00:00:55,340
Get out of my house, if necessary!

24
00:00:56,100 --> 00:00:57,100
Cheeky little bum!

25
00:01:23,020 --> 00:01:24,020
The good God.

26
00:01:43,860 --> 00:01:49,780
Well, due to the success of the last
series, I've been put in a slightly

27
00:01:49,780 --> 00:01:51,040
position where I've had the...

28
00:01:51,450 --> 00:01:53,110
BBC beeping at my door again.

29
00:01:53,610 --> 00:01:57,810
And all the execs twisting my arm now to
do a second series.

30
00:01:58,190 --> 00:02:00,050
This show is a show about two policemen.

31
00:02:01,190 --> 00:02:02,710
Unfortunately, it's about you two
policemen.

32
00:02:03,530 --> 00:02:07,350
That gives you glory. You don't have the
talent for it. You're not telegenic.

33
00:02:07,570 --> 00:02:11,490
It was a tremendous success, the last
series. The viewing figures were

34
00:02:11,490 --> 00:02:17,510
high. It started at 2 .6 million. Yeah.
And went down to 0 .5.

35
00:02:18,510 --> 00:02:22,690
And, of course, well, when you get a
success like that, you want to repeat

36
00:02:22,990 --> 00:02:26,790
I mean, it's very good that you've come
in here, and I can tell you to your

37
00:02:26,790 --> 00:02:28,710
faces that your faces don't fit.

38
00:02:29,570 --> 00:02:35,370
Like the letterbox mouth that's there,
mentioned several times.

39
00:02:35,590 --> 00:02:36,590
Geoffrey, please.

40
00:02:37,130 --> 00:02:40,250
Please, I'm begging you, do not call
this show.

41
00:02:40,570 --> 00:02:42,910
We've put so much effort and time into
this.

42
00:02:43,440 --> 00:02:46,180
Yes, as I've explained to you, I am very
sympathetic.

43
00:02:46,480 --> 00:02:48,340
I'm listening very hard to what you're
saying.

44
00:02:48,560 --> 00:02:55,260
I am, of course, well aware that we had
serious problems with the last

45
00:02:55,260 --> 00:02:58,980
operation. Quite frankly, the good guys
were bad.

46
00:02:59,640 --> 00:03:04,340
The commissioner has insisted on a
retraining programme.

47
00:03:04,780 --> 00:03:06,240
Shut up, get back over there.

48
00:03:07,040 --> 00:03:11,680
Shut up, you as well. I am completely
convinced... that the good guys will now

49
00:03:11,680 --> 00:03:15,220
become a force to be reckoned with
rather than a disgrace to the force.

50
00:03:16,500 --> 00:03:17,500
Is that right?

51
00:03:18,480 --> 00:03:21,320
I'm the staff sergeant here. You will
all address me as staff.

52
00:03:21,560 --> 00:03:22,560
You understand?

53
00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:24,180
I can't hear nothing.

54
00:03:24,540 --> 00:03:26,380
Right. What's this for, Marilyn?

55
00:03:27,420 --> 00:03:28,420
It's my guitar.

56
00:03:28,440 --> 00:03:31,340
Of course they're doing retraining. What
else do you think they're doing? They

57
00:03:31,340 --> 00:03:32,340
were a complete shower.

58
00:03:32,720 --> 00:03:35,680
Shut up, you. Are you tall enough to be
a policeman?

59
00:03:39,690 --> 00:03:40,690
Are you?

60
00:03:41,530 --> 00:03:43,810
You're short, fat and as blind as a bat.

61
00:03:44,610 --> 00:03:45,610
Do you understand?

62
00:03:46,090 --> 00:03:47,090
So shut it.

63
00:03:49,830 --> 00:03:55,430
He's lucky that he's a senior officer.
Do you hear him call me fatty? He's not

64
00:03:55,430 --> 00:03:57,070
exactly skinny himself, is he?

65
00:03:57,850 --> 00:04:01,370
Yes, I mean, personally, I don't believe
in psychoanalysis, but really, I was at

66
00:04:01,370 --> 00:04:05,410
the end of my tether and I decided I had
to get somebody in, a specialist, to

67
00:04:05,410 --> 00:04:06,850
really find out what had gone wrong.

68
00:04:07,430 --> 00:04:11,610
Bones is first on the psychiatrist's
couch and talks about his school days.

69
00:04:15,070 --> 00:04:20,810
Well, in general, you know, it's all
right.

70
00:04:22,170 --> 00:04:23,170
All right.

71
00:04:24,430 --> 00:04:29,970
You know, usual bit of bullying, you
know, at school and stuff.

72
00:04:30,490 --> 00:04:33,730
I just thought if we filmed it up with
Walter and left it overnight, it might

73
00:04:33,730 --> 00:04:34,730
just be so stupid.

74
00:04:36,880 --> 00:04:38,040
Straight in there.

75
00:04:38,660 --> 00:04:40,540
Four or five of them held me down.

76
00:04:44,480 --> 00:04:48,560
Put a whole jar of Coleman's mustard
over my urogenital area.

77
00:04:53,360 --> 00:04:54,560
How did that feel?

78
00:04:57,820 --> 00:04:58,820
Hot.

79
00:04:59,120 --> 00:05:01,900
No long faces this week, please. OK?

80
00:05:02,390 --> 00:05:06,070
It's not a retraining course, it's
merely a refresher. So let's enjoy it,

81
00:05:06,070 --> 00:05:07,950
goodness sake, OK? Come on, cheer up.

82
00:05:09,010 --> 00:05:10,810
That's more like it. That's better.

83
00:05:11,410 --> 00:05:14,430
I'm going to be here. Hold position
here. Ray, you're going to be underneath

84
00:05:14,450 --> 00:05:15,149
as usual.

85
00:05:15,150 --> 00:05:16,470
Desard, Bill, you take this one.

86
00:05:17,230 --> 00:05:18,230
Top or bottom?

87
00:05:18,390 --> 00:05:20,410
Steam. Steam might pop up.

88
00:05:20,690 --> 00:05:22,330
22 years I've had that.

89
00:05:23,810 --> 00:05:24,810
What do you see?

90
00:05:29,050 --> 00:05:30,730
Violence, threatening, scary.

91
00:05:31,660 --> 00:05:32,660
Scary. OK.

92
00:05:33,180 --> 00:05:34,180
What about that one?

93
00:05:36,740 --> 00:05:37,900
Also very frightening.

94
00:05:38,200 --> 00:05:39,200
What do you see in it?

95
00:05:41,680 --> 00:05:44,300
Well, it looks like one of the yetis in
Doctor Who.

96
00:05:45,740 --> 00:05:46,860
Oi! Oi!

97
00:05:49,700 --> 00:05:51,740
Stop it! Give it back to me!

98
00:06:04,440 --> 00:06:05,440
What is it?

99
00:06:05,760 --> 00:06:06,379
What is it?

100
00:06:06,380 --> 00:06:07,820
What's disgusting?

101
00:06:08,040 --> 00:06:14,780
What have you got in there, man? When I
travel, I always take it everywhere with

102
00:06:14,780 --> 00:06:15,780
me.

103
00:06:16,540 --> 00:06:18,380
You take it with you?

104
00:06:18,600 --> 00:06:23,740
Yeah, everywhere, everywhere. I mean,
when I'm working at home, obviously I

105
00:06:23,740 --> 00:06:27,180
leave it at home. That is your real
testicle?

106
00:06:28,300 --> 00:06:29,300
Yeah.

107
00:06:30,469 --> 00:06:35,210
Well, the doctor suggested when I had it
removed that if I carried it with me at

108
00:06:35,210 --> 00:06:37,830
all times, I wouldn't feel such a loss.

109
00:06:39,170 --> 00:06:42,010
So what's that, then, the stuff, that
wee -wee?

110
00:06:42,430 --> 00:06:45,850
Right, you're all here today because
you've failed dramatically on the

111
00:06:45,970 --> 00:06:51,610
and this is a training centre where you
will have to be physically trained again

112
00:06:51,610 --> 00:06:55,210
to work as a team. Can you just clear
one thing up for me, please? Shut up,

113
00:06:55,490 --> 00:06:56,850
Lose your hat. Someone take his hat.

114
00:06:57,590 --> 00:06:58,590
Come over here.

115
00:06:59,760 --> 00:07:00,760
Come over here.

116
00:07:01,240 --> 00:07:03,260
Right. We've got a chart here.

117
00:07:03,520 --> 00:07:04,980
It's called a progress chart.

118
00:07:05,540 --> 00:07:07,440
And it charts your progress.

119
00:07:07,720 --> 00:07:09,040
As in a points system.

120
00:07:09,620 --> 00:07:10,620
Hold it still.

121
00:07:11,480 --> 00:07:13,460
Right. All your names are on the bottom.

122
00:07:13,980 --> 00:07:15,920
And when I call them out, I want you to
answer.

123
00:07:16,300 --> 00:07:17,300
Staff.

124
00:07:18,620 --> 00:07:20,040
We have... Decide.

125
00:07:20,600 --> 00:07:21,660
Decide. Shut up.

126
00:07:23,180 --> 00:07:24,240
Bill Zinger.

127
00:07:24,520 --> 00:07:26,180
Zabub. Staff.

128
00:07:27,260 --> 00:07:28,920
Ash. Staff. Bitch.

129
00:07:31,720 --> 00:07:32,720
I'll be that.

130
00:07:33,880 --> 00:07:35,020
Bitch, is that you?

131
00:07:35,500 --> 00:07:41,220
Beach. And when you're relating to
authority figures, are you always happy

132
00:07:41,220 --> 00:07:42,220
as you're told?

133
00:07:42,500 --> 00:07:44,740
Oh, certainly, yes. I always respond
well to authority.

134
00:07:45,320 --> 00:07:46,800
Found you've got the bed already, have
you?

135
00:07:47,040 --> 00:07:49,040
Yes, Peter, officer. Pole position.

136
00:07:49,440 --> 00:07:52,780
Pole position, my bollocks. You get up
there, you down here where I can see

137
00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:56,660
You don't feel threatened by being told
what to do?

138
00:07:57,160 --> 00:07:58,160
Not at all.

139
00:07:59,150 --> 00:08:00,150
It's part of my job.

140
00:08:00,310 --> 00:08:01,450
And what's your problem?

141
00:08:02,450 --> 00:08:03,490
I don't have a problem.

142
00:08:03,890 --> 00:08:04,890
Then smile.

143
00:08:05,750 --> 00:08:07,550
Let me see a smile on that face.

144
00:08:08,350 --> 00:08:09,350
I can smile.

145
00:08:10,710 --> 00:08:11,850
That's what I like to see.

146
00:08:12,090 --> 00:08:13,130
I like to see my men happy.

147
00:08:14,490 --> 00:08:20,150
I expect my men to follow my lead in
that and respond to myself as a senior

148
00:08:20,150 --> 00:08:21,890
figure. He's got to stop.

149
00:08:22,230 --> 00:08:24,270
He shouldn't be talking to me like that.

150
00:08:24,710 --> 00:08:25,990
Not in front of everybody.

151
00:08:26,960 --> 00:08:30,460
Well, you go and have a word with him.
Just don't pack it in. I will.

152
00:08:31,240 --> 00:08:34,980
Listen, tonight you can pop up here if
you want. What?

153
00:08:35,659 --> 00:08:36,860
Tonight you can pop up here.

154
00:08:37,940 --> 00:08:41,659
I beg your pardon? No, when the lights
go out, you can go up here and I'll go

155
00:08:41,659 --> 00:08:42,619
the down way.

156
00:08:42,620 --> 00:08:43,620
Oh, I see. Yeah, OK.

157
00:08:44,940 --> 00:08:46,820
What do you want me to say to him?

158
00:08:47,560 --> 00:08:52,720
Why did talking about your mother make
you feel so threatened?

159
00:08:53,370 --> 00:08:56,250
No, talking about my mother doesn't make
me feel threatened.

160
00:08:57,330 --> 00:08:59,510
You bloody people are all the same,
aren't you?

161
00:08:59,750 --> 00:09:03,210
If you don't see something sinister in
what people are thinking or saying, you

162
00:09:03,210 --> 00:09:04,590
have to put something down, don't you?

163
00:09:04,810 --> 00:09:07,110
Well, you're not catching me out like
that, Joey.

164
00:09:08,250 --> 00:09:09,430
Why have you got a tie on?

165
00:09:09,810 --> 00:09:10,810
Well, where's your tie?

166
00:09:11,370 --> 00:09:12,810
Um, in the dormitory, sir.

167
00:09:13,950 --> 00:09:16,870
Well, then tell me something else. Why
is your shirt hanging out the bottom of

168
00:09:16,870 --> 00:09:17,469
your pants?

169
00:09:17,470 --> 00:09:19,050
Well, I took your shirt off.

170
00:09:20,750 --> 00:09:22,870
And the shoes, why haven't they seen a
bit of polish?

171
00:09:23,450 --> 00:09:27,190
Well, that's not appropriate, is it?
Shut up. Sit down.

172
00:09:27,490 --> 00:09:28,490
Sorry.

173
00:09:29,510 --> 00:09:30,710
Put it down!

174
00:09:31,290 --> 00:09:32,290
Put it down!

175
00:09:34,050 --> 00:09:38,170
Why did you... Oh, no!

176
00:09:40,950 --> 00:09:41,950
Well,

177
00:09:45,490 --> 00:09:47,310
that feels fantastic.

178
00:09:48,250 --> 00:09:52,300
Everything's gone. All the... The
pressure, tension has been lifted now.

179
00:09:52,300 --> 00:09:54,260
feel marvellous saying that. I really
do.

180
00:09:54,480 --> 00:09:59,100
In fact, I'm going to have analysis as
often as I possibly can. Everybody

181
00:09:59,100 --> 00:10:00,100
indulge in it.

182
00:10:00,140 --> 00:10:01,660
It's really good. I can't thank you
enough.

183
00:10:01,860 --> 00:10:03,800
Well, thank you, James, for being here.
Not at all.

184
00:10:04,100 --> 00:10:05,100
Great.

185
00:10:05,300 --> 00:10:06,300
Terrific. Take care.

186
00:10:06,920 --> 00:10:08,260
Oh, naughty, naughty.

187
00:10:09,080 --> 00:10:11,020
You chaps get everywhere, don't you? Eh?

188
00:10:22,700 --> 00:10:25,760
Oh, just explaining why you can't do PE,
I presume, yeah?

189
00:10:30,840 --> 00:10:32,760
So, your uncle is the commissioner?

190
00:10:33,840 --> 00:10:34,980
What about this one, Mark?

191
00:10:38,160 --> 00:10:39,460
What do you see there?

192
00:10:43,200 --> 00:10:47,960
Um... No.

193
00:10:49,260 --> 00:10:54,970
Sorry, I'll... Right, as I look amongst
you, Today, I'm about ready to pick out

194
00:10:54,970 --> 00:10:56,670
an assistant, a monitor, if you like.

195
00:10:57,150 --> 00:11:01,170
That's going to be my right -hand man,
who willed the same amount of power that

196
00:11:01,170 --> 00:11:03,010
I do over you lot.

197
00:11:03,950 --> 00:11:04,990
Sit down, bitch.

198
00:11:06,870 --> 00:11:08,230
Bitch, sit down.

199
00:11:09,370 --> 00:11:12,790
Now, we can't see anything there.

200
00:11:13,450 --> 00:11:14,910
Turn it upside down, maybe.

201
00:11:15,290 --> 00:11:16,550
Turn it around, this way.

202
00:11:19,210 --> 00:11:20,830
What does that remind you of?

203
00:11:25,930 --> 00:11:28,110
And my choice is Mark.

204
00:11:29,090 --> 00:11:32,850
What? Mark? Me, sir? Yes, you, Mark.
Come up here, sir.

205
00:11:33,350 --> 00:11:36,110
And this, does that look like smoke?

206
00:11:38,770 --> 00:11:40,810
Smoke? Not really.

207
00:11:41,950 --> 00:11:45,530
But I think you mean... Not a dog
smoking a pipe.

208
00:11:46,630 --> 00:11:47,730
There's a pipe here, look.

209
00:11:49,090 --> 00:11:50,090
It's not smoke.

210
00:11:50,430 --> 00:11:51,430
It's just hail.

211
00:11:53,630 --> 00:11:55,210
No, I can't see that, no.

212
00:11:56,020 --> 00:11:58,540
You will take notice of him the same as
you would me.

213
00:11:58,840 --> 00:11:59,840
Is that understood?

214
00:12:00,300 --> 00:12:02,860
Stop. Can you hear that, Mark? Stop! I
can't hear you!

215
00:12:03,440 --> 00:12:04,440
Stop!

216
00:12:04,600 --> 00:12:05,479
That's better.

217
00:12:05,480 --> 00:12:06,600
And if it were a dog?

218
00:12:07,820 --> 00:12:09,260
How would that make you feel?

219
00:12:12,700 --> 00:12:15,900
Right, today's exercise is all about
teamwork.

220
00:12:16,580 --> 00:12:17,720
Mark? Stop!

221
00:12:18,240 --> 00:12:19,540
Pick two captains out.

222
00:12:19,920 --> 00:12:23,460
For the first time, Mark is asked to
assert his authority.

223
00:12:30,120 --> 00:12:32,060
Me and the governor, we're like that.

224
00:12:32,300 --> 00:12:33,580
We're joined at the hip.

225
00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:36,560
We're like Cagney and Lacey, Dempsey and
Makeby.

226
00:12:36,920 --> 00:12:37,920
We're a team.

227
00:12:39,300 --> 00:12:43,900
Captain, if I asked you to climb a
mountain, would you wear a pair of

228
00:12:44,420 --> 00:12:45,980
No, you wouldn't.

229
00:12:46,220 --> 00:12:50,700
So I don't want to see you wearing
boating shoes in the PE gym. Is that

230
00:12:51,540 --> 00:12:52,700
Now, up to the front.

231
00:12:53,780 --> 00:12:55,400
Together, we work as one.

232
00:12:56,180 --> 00:12:59,460
And he'll never let me down, and I'll
never let him down.

233
00:13:06,960 --> 00:13:13,420
I had a dream once, a very strange
dream, that I was in a dark room and I

234
00:13:13,420 --> 00:13:14,420
him call me.

235
00:13:14,940 --> 00:13:19,740
And he said, Ray, Ray. And I looked
there and he was all golden.

236
00:13:21,140 --> 00:13:22,140
Phil!

237
00:13:25,120 --> 00:13:27,380
And he looked like a Buddha.

238
00:13:28,480 --> 00:13:32,200
And he said, Ray, follow me, follow me,
sir.

239
00:13:34,360 --> 00:13:36,340
It was just such a beautiful dream.

240
00:13:41,550 --> 00:13:42,630
All teams elected!

241
00:13:44,010 --> 00:13:45,010
Right,

242
00:13:45,650 --> 00:13:50,170
well I'm not going to have this great
leader of men, bitch, with her best

243
00:13:50,690 --> 00:13:51,830
Mark? No!

244
00:13:52,650 --> 00:13:53,650
Jumble them up.

245
00:13:57,030 --> 00:14:01,070
Gary Bones, team one, and Bill, team
two.

246
00:14:02,850 --> 00:14:04,010
When he sings to me.

247
00:14:04,750 --> 00:14:07,670
You know, there's no need for it. He
doesn't have to do that, but he knows I

248
00:14:07,670 --> 00:14:09,190
love it, the sound of his voice.

249
00:14:10,210 --> 00:14:11,950
Ash, join Beach.

250
00:14:13,350 --> 00:14:14,350
Get on with it.

251
00:14:17,230 --> 00:14:19,870
It's a bit of luck, so, isn't it? I
nearly wasn't on your team yet.

252
00:14:20,310 --> 00:14:21,310
Come on, folks.

253
00:14:25,210 --> 00:14:31,270
I am standing in a river, a raging
river, and today's exercise is an

254
00:14:31,270 --> 00:14:34,270
test in order for you to get you and
your team...

255
00:14:34,510 --> 00:14:35,970
Over the Raging River.

256
00:14:36,450 --> 00:14:38,370
Now, you're on a timer, so let's go.

257
00:14:38,610 --> 00:14:39,610
Keep it shut, you.

258
00:14:40,750 --> 00:14:41,489
Let's go.

259
00:14:41,490 --> 00:14:42,490
Gather round, my man.

260
00:14:42,930 --> 00:14:46,770
No, no, no, no. Stay, stay, stay. But
he's timing us. You're in the Raging

261
00:14:46,770 --> 00:14:47,770
River, sir.

262
00:14:48,910 --> 00:14:50,650
No. More haste.

263
00:14:51,090 --> 00:14:54,870
Let's all be calm about this. It's back
to school. It's basic physics that we're

264
00:14:54,870 --> 00:14:56,690
after. I want you to remember three
things.

265
00:14:57,170 --> 00:14:58,170
E -F -M.

266
00:14:58,990 --> 00:15:00,190
Equilibrium. Fulcrum.

267
00:15:00,730 --> 00:15:01,730
And meniscus.

268
00:15:02,089 --> 00:15:04,770
It's all a question of weight
distribution, okay?

269
00:15:06,950 --> 00:15:07,889
They've done it.

270
00:15:07,890 --> 00:15:08,890
They've done it, sir.

271
00:15:09,010 --> 00:15:10,370
They've done it. They've done it.
They're gone.

272
00:15:10,590 --> 00:15:12,250
We can't use their bridge. We're
screwed.

273
00:15:12,510 --> 00:15:13,509
There's nothing left.

274
00:15:13,510 --> 00:15:15,570
There's nothing left for us to use. We
should have grabbed something first. All

275
00:15:15,570 --> 00:15:17,930
right, plan two. Ray? Yeah. Pull that
away. Give it to Gary.

276
00:15:18,450 --> 00:15:20,130
Oh, Ray. Stop mumbling.

277
00:15:20,610 --> 00:15:23,490
Stop mumbling now. Oh, I'm sorry, sir.
It's my vertebrae popping.

278
00:15:23,710 --> 00:15:24,710
Oh.

279
00:15:24,910 --> 00:15:25,910
Oh.

280
00:15:26,230 --> 00:15:29,850
Oh. Oh. Shut up. It's my coccyx. Here we
go.

281
00:15:30,230 --> 00:15:31,230
That's it. Next one.

282
00:15:31,530 --> 00:15:33,730
The B team finally completes the call.

283
00:15:34,490 --> 00:15:38,410
Sandwich. The canteen was shut. We
weren't out there that long, Ray. Four

284
00:15:38,410 --> 00:15:40,310
half hours. We did the job properly,
that's why.

285
00:15:41,110 --> 00:15:42,110
Buttocks.

286
00:15:43,650 --> 00:15:44,650
Buttocks in a mouth.

287
00:15:45,370 --> 00:15:46,570
With pits of lips.

288
00:15:47,630 --> 00:15:48,629
In a mouth.

289
00:15:48,630 --> 00:15:49,630
Yeah.

290
00:15:50,650 --> 00:15:51,830
What have you got there this time?

291
00:15:53,010 --> 00:15:54,630
Donuts, sir. From the canteen.

292
00:15:54,830 --> 00:15:56,430
Right. Me and Bill smuggled them in.

293
00:15:56,690 --> 00:15:57,690
What?

294
00:15:58,150 --> 00:15:59,230
You are pathetic.

295
00:16:00,190 --> 00:16:03,310
Black market economy, nothing but
gangsters. Thank you, sir.

296
00:16:04,210 --> 00:16:07,430
All I see is, like, big, like that.

297
00:16:08,010 --> 00:16:09,970
Big buttons, like that. Big.

298
00:16:10,890 --> 00:16:13,650
Go on, slap them, right, slap them.

299
00:16:14,170 --> 00:16:15,170
Lovely.

300
00:16:15,550 --> 00:16:16,550
How much are they?

301
00:16:16,730 --> 00:16:17,730
Ten pound.

302
00:16:18,250 --> 00:16:19,250
How much?

303
00:16:19,410 --> 00:16:20,410
They are, Jen.

304
00:16:20,750 --> 00:16:21,750
Ray, come here!

305
00:16:21,970 --> 00:16:24,330
Yes, sir. When it slaps like that, the
fat goes...

306
00:16:31,660 --> 00:16:32,579
Do you want to go home?

307
00:16:32,580 --> 00:16:33,580
I'm not doing that.

308
00:16:37,540 --> 00:16:39,920
How's your doing business with you?

309
00:16:44,560 --> 00:16:45,560
Thanks.

310
00:16:46,420 --> 00:16:48,660
Sometimes I just sit on my chest like
this.

311
00:16:48,920 --> 00:16:54,520
It's like having two huge sacks of flour
on my chest.

312
00:16:54,880 --> 00:16:56,060
And I can't move.

313
00:16:56,380 --> 00:17:00,020
I think that's why I joined the police.

314
00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:04,800
I don't trust no one, especially when
there's a million people sleeping in one

315
00:17:04,800 --> 00:17:07,640
room. You never know when they're going
to come, do you?

316
00:17:08,160 --> 00:17:10,920
So this is more like an indoor wind
chime.

317
00:17:11,200 --> 00:17:12,599
It gives me a bit of warning.

318
00:17:14,099 --> 00:17:15,819
That's why I've stayed alive so long.

319
00:17:17,180 --> 00:17:18,180
Don't you worry,

320
00:17:19,800 --> 00:17:22,240
sir. It'll be so crisp in the morning,
it'll walk down on its own.

321
00:17:36,940 --> 00:17:37,919
See what I mean.

322
00:17:37,920 --> 00:17:38,980
You got that Mars bottle?

323
00:17:40,400 --> 00:17:41,400
I'm starving.

324
00:17:41,940 --> 00:17:48,080
Just look at that. It's a pellet shape.
What is that? It's horrible.

325
00:17:48,980 --> 00:17:50,000
Delivery service, mate.

326
00:17:51,040 --> 00:17:52,460
That coffee's working.

327
00:17:52,960 --> 00:17:53,799
I'm good.

328
00:17:53,800 --> 00:17:55,740
I was thinking she'd have a Snickers bar
in a minute.

329
00:17:56,900 --> 00:17:57,900
Oh,

330
00:17:58,420 --> 00:18:00,840
that's disgusting, Bill.

331
00:18:01,200 --> 00:18:05,380
Well, it's still in a wrap. I know where
it's come from, mate. I want my money

332
00:18:05,380 --> 00:18:06,380
back.

333
00:18:08,590 --> 00:18:09,549
What's that?

334
00:18:09,550 --> 00:18:10,550
A finger.

335
00:18:10,570 --> 00:18:11,670
I know it's a finger!

336
00:18:11,930 --> 00:18:13,170
It's a dirty finger!

337
00:18:13,550 --> 00:18:16,810
And while you're at it, you can wash the
toilet with a toothbrush!

338
00:18:38,700 --> 00:18:40,000
That is disgusting.

339
00:18:40,340 --> 00:18:41,420
He's straightening up a bit.

340
00:18:42,880 --> 00:18:48,400
Why are you waking your hands up,
Snakey? Come on. Come on.

341
00:18:48,680 --> 00:18:50,540
Come on. Come on.

342
00:18:51,420 --> 00:18:54,820
Come on. Come on. Come on.

343
00:18:55,580 --> 00:19:00,440
Just get out of the bucket. You've got
three minutes to show.

344
00:19:00,800 --> 00:19:04,420
Basically, when you start off, it's the
spirit that leads the body.

345
00:19:05,020 --> 00:19:08,880
But eventually, as you move on
progressively, to be a fully -fledged

346
00:19:08,880 --> 00:19:10,180
city, you can fly.

347
00:19:11,060 --> 00:19:12,060
Physically fly.

348
00:19:49,520 --> 00:19:54,260
Aware of the need for high ratings, the
BBC is attempting to inject some glamour

349
00:19:54,260 --> 00:19:55,260
into the show.

350
00:20:19,330 --> 00:20:21,230
Wasn't it? Like a very young child.

351
00:20:21,510 --> 00:20:24,750
No, no, no. It's more like a ninja
mongoose.

352
00:20:25,490 --> 00:20:27,350
You know, just as they're about to
attack the snake.

353
00:20:31,030 --> 00:20:34,250
That's too high a pitch. It was lower
pitch as well. I've got perfect pitch.

354
00:20:34,930 --> 00:20:35,930
Yeah,

355
00:20:36,690 --> 00:20:37,249
that's it.

356
00:20:37,250 --> 00:20:38,870
It went down.

357
00:20:52,440 --> 00:20:56,260
It sounded like someone was definitely
in pain.

358
00:20:57,140 --> 00:21:00,360
It was all night, wasn't it?

359
00:21:01,280 --> 00:21:08,160
The way you go, Amy. Well, I would be
giving you a demonstration

360
00:21:08,160 --> 00:21:11,460
on mouth -to -mouth resuscitation had I
got my Respirator doll.

361
00:21:11,740 --> 00:21:16,300
But I can't show you because someone's
taken it. Sorry, is that the doll with

362
00:21:16,300 --> 00:21:17,320
the mouth and the...

363
00:21:17,590 --> 00:21:20,370
Yes, it is. Have you seen it? Sorry, I
don't know exactly where it is.

364
00:21:23,930 --> 00:21:24,410
And

365
00:21:24,410 --> 00:21:36,310
then

366
00:21:36,310 --> 00:21:40,750
literally pull the head straight, chin
back, mouth open.

367
00:21:41,910 --> 00:21:43,690
Just gently squeeze the nose.

368
00:21:44,290 --> 00:21:45,970
Don't go near it. Don't go near it.

369
00:21:48,560 --> 00:21:50,520
That is disgusting.

370
00:21:51,660 --> 00:21:58,060
This is a Redman, sir. It allows us to
simulate a full attack without any

371
00:21:58,060 --> 00:22:00,020
or pain to the wearer.

372
00:22:00,260 --> 00:22:04,760
Now, when I leave the side of the
wearer, I want you to fully attack him.

373
00:22:04,980 --> 00:22:06,220
All out attack.

374
00:22:06,560 --> 00:22:09,560
Hold nothing back. You'll be able to
handle that surely, won't you?

375
00:22:11,580 --> 00:22:13,020
Let's put your little helmet on there.

376
00:22:21,480 --> 00:22:23,740
What's the matter with you, you bunch of
wusses?

377
00:22:24,200 --> 00:22:25,200
Come on!

378
00:22:26,000 --> 00:22:27,000
Come on!

379
00:22:27,980 --> 00:22:28,980
Come on!

380
00:22:34,600 --> 00:22:35,600
There's a bruise there.

381
00:22:35,760 --> 00:22:40,920
Oh, yes, all right. It's a big bruise.
Don't... I know where the bruises are. I

382
00:22:40,920 --> 00:22:42,480
can feel them. Did I hurt?

383
00:22:43,140 --> 00:22:44,400
No, of course they don't.

384
00:22:46,260 --> 00:22:47,640
They only hurt when I breathe.

385
00:22:48,320 --> 00:22:53,250
Right. As a team, you've nearly got all
the points that you need to take you

386
00:22:53,250 --> 00:22:54,189
through the court.

387
00:22:54,190 --> 00:22:57,570
And I can compliment most of you on what
you've done and achieved.

388
00:22:58,050 --> 00:23:04,290
But there's still one or two who are
utter and complete

389
00:23:04,290 --> 00:23:07,050
crap. Listen, I'm not here.

390
00:23:07,710 --> 00:23:08,710
Right.

391
00:23:10,190 --> 00:23:13,950
As from tomorrow morning, oh, 900 hours,
you'll be leaving the establishment and

392
00:23:13,950 --> 00:23:14,950
you'll be back on the street.

393
00:23:15,070 --> 00:23:17,070
But until then, you're mine.

394
00:23:17,610 --> 00:23:21,650
You are under my jurisdiction, the
establishment and mine. Stop!

395
00:23:22,130 --> 00:23:27,730
And you will not eat, sleep, shit
without my notification or my knowledge

396
00:23:28,070 --> 00:23:30,250
But String has other ideas.

397
00:23:30,730 --> 00:23:31,730
Yeah.

398
00:23:31,930 --> 00:23:32,930
Fantastic, mate.

399
00:23:33,150 --> 00:23:34,150
Yeah.

400
00:23:35,130 --> 00:23:36,130
What do you think?

401
00:23:36,250 --> 00:23:38,830
Give me that to you. You're confined to
your dorm.

402
00:23:39,030 --> 00:23:42,710
For the time you're here now, you are
confined to your dorm. I don't want you

403
00:23:42,710 --> 00:23:43,710
speak to anyone.

404
00:23:44,210 --> 00:23:47,350
Outside this perimeter of this campus.
Do you understand me? Look, staff.

405
00:23:47,530 --> 00:23:48,970
Marilyn, do you understand me?

406
00:23:49,670 --> 00:23:50,670
Staff.

407
00:23:52,170 --> 00:23:54,310
Staff, don't put it in the bin.

408
00:23:55,830 --> 00:23:58,950
We've managed out there with a contract.
Waiting to be signed.

409
00:23:59,350 --> 00:24:01,770
You're complying, mate. You're
complying. I know, so you've got to help

410
00:24:01,770 --> 00:24:04,250
out there without getting caught. I
don't want to lose your points or

411
00:24:04,810 --> 00:24:06,190
Streams, if we get caught, that's it.

412
00:24:06,450 --> 00:24:09,310
There's no operations at all. All the
points will be out the window, mate.

413
00:24:09,550 --> 00:24:13,210
Look. When I make it as a big pop star,
you'll be with me anyway.

414
00:24:13,430 --> 00:24:14,490
You can be my security.

415
00:24:15,370 --> 00:24:16,370
Tuck in, tuck in.

416
00:24:17,650 --> 00:24:19,270
You all right in there, Strings?

417
00:24:20,710 --> 00:24:24,210
Sorry, mate, you'll have to make do. All
right. We'll leave you here, we'll come

418
00:24:24,210 --> 00:24:26,650
back and get you, yeah? Don't forget to
come back, will you? Of course not.

419
00:24:26,710 --> 00:24:27,629
Don't be too long.

420
00:24:27,630 --> 00:24:28,750
All right, keep it down, son.

421
00:24:28,990 --> 00:24:30,530
Good luck, Strings. Cheers, bones.

422
00:24:31,390 --> 00:24:34,790
Strings' new manager arrives for the
secret meeting. In the box.

423
00:24:35,090 --> 00:24:36,009
You're in the box?

424
00:24:36,010 --> 00:24:39,310
Yeah. Hey, what is Cumberland doing
here? I have a contract.

425
00:24:39,710 --> 00:24:42,090
I have contract. Quick, because they're
coming back for me. Okay, I pass

426
00:24:42,090 --> 00:24:45,510
contract through, and there is contract.

427
00:24:46,310 --> 00:24:47,810
Contract is in your fingers.

428
00:24:48,490 --> 00:24:49,490
I've got it.

429
00:24:49,510 --> 00:24:52,290
All right, now you sign contract,
Richka.

430
00:24:52,790 --> 00:24:54,130
It's not very thick, is it?

431
00:24:54,590 --> 00:24:58,050
No, but it's something else thick for
you I have.

432
00:24:58,560 --> 00:25:01,740
What I can say is that they've come as
individuals and I've forced them into a

433
00:25:01,740 --> 00:25:03,540
team. And now they'll work as a team.

434
00:25:03,920 --> 00:25:07,400
And as you can see by the point that
they've mounted up, obviously some have

435
00:25:07,400 --> 00:25:09,340
done so well, but most of them have
really flew.

436
00:25:10,080 --> 00:25:13,200
And like I say, I mean, you know,
they're working together. So I'm quite

437
00:25:13,200 --> 00:25:14,200
with the result.

438
00:25:14,280 --> 00:25:16,540
You sure that camera light doesn't bite
us? No, it's good.

439
00:25:16,760 --> 00:25:17,459
We can't be seen?

440
00:25:17,460 --> 00:25:18,460
No. Right.

441
00:25:19,220 --> 00:25:22,940
This is a very, very, very important
mission. We've got to be like ninjas in

442
00:25:22,940 --> 00:25:24,660
night. And I'm the officer in command,
OK?

443
00:25:24,920 --> 00:25:27,760
Not like... You can't really get in the
red shirt. Do you understand me? Let's

444
00:25:27,760 --> 00:25:28,599
get on.

445
00:25:28,600 --> 00:25:29,600
Where'd you come from?

446
00:25:30,520 --> 00:25:31,520
How'd you find us?

447
00:25:32,060 --> 00:25:34,980
Saw the camera light out there. What are
you doing? You said we couldn't be

448
00:25:34,980 --> 00:25:35,980
seen.

449
00:25:37,380 --> 00:25:38,520
We're going on a mission.

450
00:25:39,700 --> 00:25:41,240
You can't do that. That stuff will kill
you.

451
00:25:41,640 --> 00:25:42,459
Bullocks and stuff.

452
00:25:42,460 --> 00:25:44,340
You're either with us or you're against
us. What's it going to be?

453
00:26:26,260 --> 00:26:27,260
Yeah,

454
00:26:36,840 --> 00:26:39,280
well I think as a team, I mean, they
work quite well together.

455
00:26:40,570 --> 00:26:45,930
There was one or two individuals who
really, you know, stopped a lot of

456
00:26:45,930 --> 00:26:48,170
happening, which was Beech for one.

457
00:26:48,930 --> 00:26:52,990
Ash. Well, Ash as well, yeah. I mean,
you know, he needed a little bit of

458
00:26:52,990 --> 00:26:53,990
prodding. And bones.

459
00:26:54,390 --> 00:26:57,610
Well, he's physically inadequate,
really, bones. I mean, he's got to lose

460
00:26:57,610 --> 00:26:58,610
little bit of weight.

461
00:27:28,720 --> 00:27:35,680
On their return to camp, Gary is in
danger of losing the team their hard

462
00:27:35,680 --> 00:27:36,680
-earned points.

463
00:27:39,050 --> 00:27:39,989
Get moving.

464
00:27:39,990 --> 00:27:43,070
Come on. Stay in another week.

465
00:27:43,330 --> 00:27:46,970
Try and shut me up!

466
00:27:47,770 --> 00:27:49,290
Get him in there.

467
00:27:49,990 --> 00:27:51,610
Do what that bitch tells you.

468
00:27:52,790 --> 00:27:54,690
Drastic action is needed.

469
00:27:56,070 --> 00:27:57,850
I will not be...

470
00:27:59,280 --> 00:28:03,160
No, no, Marcel, I've not witnessed any
bullying or racism in the 20 years that

471
00:28:03,160 --> 00:28:04,139
I've been at the college.

472
00:28:04,140 --> 00:28:08,600
And I want to make it abundantly clear,
there is no bullying or racism in

473
00:28:08,600 --> 00:28:09,600
today's police force.

474
00:28:09,820 --> 00:28:12,100
We can't leave him like this, sir. I
know, I know.

475
00:28:13,140 --> 00:28:14,920
Gary, Gary, you're going to lose your
life.

476
00:28:38,670 --> 00:28:41,550
two Hollywood stars come to see the good
guys in action.