1 00:00:03,737 --> 00:00:06,001 [Meredith] When you're little, nighttime is scary 2 00:00:06,039 --> 00:00:09,668 because there are monsters hiding right under the bed. 3 00:00:09,709 --> 00:00:14,271 When you get older, the monsters are different. 4 00:00:15,615 --> 00:00:17,446 Self doubt... 5 00:00:18,918 --> 00:00:20,647 ...loneliness... 6 00:00:22,522 --> 00:00:24,547 ...regret. 7 00:00:24,591 --> 00:00:27,651 And though you may be older and wiser, 8 00:00:27,694 --> 00:00:30,094 you still find yourself scared of the dark. 9 00:00:30,130 --> 00:00:32,530 [thunderclap] 10 00:00:32,565 --> 00:00:35,659 - I'm crazy. That's what this is. - You're not crazy. 11 00:00:35,702 --> 00:00:38,398 Then what is this? What...? What are you? 12 00:00:38,438 --> 00:00:42,534 - I'm a dead man who loves you. - This is my imagination. 13 00:00:42,575 --> 00:00:45,339 - I have an active imagination. - You touched me. 14 00:00:45,378 --> 00:00:47,312 When you were alive. And kissed you. 15 00:00:47,347 --> 00:00:50,783 Everything that's happening happened. I'm reliving moments. 16 00:00:50,817 --> 00:00:53,081 This is just residual grief. 17 00:00:55,855 --> 00:00:59,347 So I guess the only way to test it is to do something 18 00:00:59,392 --> 00:01:02,361 we never got a chance to do in real life. 19 00:01:38,998 --> 00:01:42,092 - Dr. Yang. - Dr. Hunt. 20 00:01:42,135 --> 00:01:43,659 Uh... 21 00:01:44,838 --> 00:01:48,831 - You here for me? - What? 22 00:01:48,875 --> 00:01:52,675 I meant my trauma. 23 00:01:52,712 --> 00:01:56,375 I'm here for a possible appy. Ambulance is on its way in. 24 00:01:57,884 --> 00:02:00,045 Hey... 25 00:02:05,191 --> 00:02:07,159 Did you want to say something? 26 00:02:10,597 --> 00:02:12,224 How'd you beat the ambulance? 27 00:02:14,501 --> 00:02:16,901 I live across the street. 28 00:02:25,645 --> 00:02:28,705 Your sofa sucks. I can't sleep. 29 00:02:28,748 --> 00:02:32,514 - I never went to bed. - Usually read on the bathroom floor? 30 00:02:32,552 --> 00:02:36,147 I didn't want to wake Derek. These are my mother's journals. 31 00:02:36,189 --> 00:02:39,556 - From when she was a resident. - I thought we hated your mother. 32 00:02:39,592 --> 00:02:43,028 I kind of think now, if I wasn't her child, I would have liked her. 33 00:02:43,062 --> 00:02:46,793 She was funny. And intense. A lot like Cristina. 34 00:02:46,833 --> 00:02:50,030 Yeah. Intense, I get from Cristina. Funny, not so much. 35 00:02:50,069 --> 00:02:54,369 She takes a while to warm up, but when she does, she's Cristina. 36 00:02:54,407 --> 00:02:57,570 Give her a chance. She's very loyal, and you need allies here. 37 00:02:57,610 --> 00:03:00,807 What do you think about... what's her name, your sister, Lexie? 38 00:03:00,847 --> 00:03:04,180 - What do I think about her? - As an ally for me. 39 00:03:04,217 --> 00:03:08,711 - My new intern BFF. - No, I... No, I don't see that. 40 00:03:08,755 --> 00:03:11,781 I just... She was raised right. With parents and rules 41 00:03:11,824 --> 00:03:14,884 - and smiley face posters on her wall. - Mm. 42 00:03:14,928 --> 00:03:16,520 [cell phone buzzes] 43 00:03:17,497 --> 00:03:21,524 It's Cristina. There's an appy. See? Loyalty. 44 00:03:23,636 --> 00:03:27,299 I'll come with you. Try to snag time in the skills lab. I'll get dressed. 45 00:03:27,340 --> 00:03:29,638 [lzzie moaning] Oh, my God! 46 00:03:31,578 --> 00:03:33,307 - Hot. - Porny. 47 00:03:35,381 --> 00:03:37,941 What... What are you doing out here? 48 00:03:37,984 --> 00:03:41,010 You're the only one who paid a nurse to page you with an appy? 49 00:03:41,054 --> 00:03:43,682 - That's not what I meant. - [lzzie moans] Yes! 50 00:03:43,723 --> 00:03:47,386 That's what I meant. If you're out here, who's in there with Izzie? 51 00:03:47,427 --> 00:03:51,056 - [lzzie] Oh, my God! - Derek? 52 00:03:51,097 --> 00:03:54,931 - What? What? What's the matter? - Nothing. Nothing. 53 00:03:54,968 --> 00:03:56,435 I just... 54 00:03:56,469 --> 00:03:59,370 What are you doing dressed? It's three in the morning. 55 00:03:59,405 --> 00:04:01,066 [moaning] 56 00:04:01,107 --> 00:04:03,132 Who's making a porno in Izzie's room? 57 00:04:03,176 --> 00:04:05,736 Relax, she's flying solo. It's hot. 58 00:04:07,614 --> 00:04:10,242 Iz, party's over. We got an appy coming in. 59 00:04:10,283 --> 00:04:12,615 Death, let's go. 60 00:04:12,652 --> 00:04:15,815 - She's living here, too, Death? - Just a couple of days, 61 00:04:15,855 --> 00:04:18,016 - till she gets her place. - No more strays. 62 00:04:18,057 --> 00:04:20,525 - No more strays. - Iz! 63 00:04:20,560 --> 00:04:24,326 - Iz, come on! - Hey. Hi. 64 00:04:24,364 --> 00:04:28,698 So I'm not feeling that great. 65 00:04:28,735 --> 00:04:31,932 I think I'm gonna skip it. I don't know, I think I have the flu 66 00:04:31,971 --> 00:04:36,340 - or food poisoning... Yeah. I'm hot. - You're sweating. 67 00:04:36,376 --> 00:04:38,970 And cold. Hot and cold. I have the chills. 68 00:04:39,012 --> 00:04:42,675 - I'm just gonna go back to bed. - Didn't sound like you were sleeping. 69 00:04:42,715 --> 00:04:45,411 I could skip the appy and help you out if you want. 70 00:04:45,451 --> 00:04:47,385 No! No, I'm... 71 00:04:47,420 --> 00:04:49,888 I don't want to get you sick, too. 72 00:04:53,192 --> 00:04:55,353 - What are you doing here? - He's mine. 73 00:04:55,395 --> 00:04:57,659 - She's sharing him with me. - I'm on call. 74 00:04:57,697 --> 00:05:01,098 - Good morning, you look nice. - Brownnoser. I got here first. 75 00:05:01,134 --> 00:05:04,535 - The chief said I'm the one to watch. - Oh, I get it. 76 00:05:04,570 --> 00:05:07,767 Solo surgery time, and you heard the past two years the chief 77 00:05:07,807 --> 00:05:09,900 assigned an appendectomy. 78 00:05:09,942 --> 00:05:12,410 So you little mini-surgeons dragged your butts 79 00:05:12,445 --> 00:05:17,246 out of bed to pick up some final tips from the master. That's kind of cute. 80 00:05:17,283 --> 00:05:19,649 - I can use two of you. - But I'm on call! 81 00:05:19,719 --> 00:05:22,187 - I filled Meredith in. - Jason Kron, 47, 82 00:05:22,221 --> 00:05:25,486 - tenderness over McBurney's point. - Karev, what do you know 83 00:05:25,525 --> 00:05:27,959 - about Mr. Kron? - I know he's a lucky man 84 00:05:27,994 --> 00:05:30,656 - to have you as a surgeon. - Arthur Soltanoff, 45, 85 00:05:30,697 --> 00:05:34,064 fell from a second-story window. Stable vitals, fractures 86 00:05:34,100 --> 00:05:37,126 - and lacerations with head trauma. - Trauma One. 87 00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:39,001 I need one of your residents. 88 00:05:39,038 --> 00:05:40,972 - Me! Mine. I'm on call! - It's yours. 89 00:05:41,007 --> 00:05:44,875 We have a patient with abdominal pain. Can you spare a resident? 90 00:05:44,911 --> 00:05:47,607 Grey and Yang, prep Mr. Kron for surgery. 91 00:05:47,647 --> 00:05:51,378 Karev, you never know, abdominal pain could become an appendectomy. 92 00:05:51,417 --> 00:05:54,147 Dr. Bailey, I'm here to help in any way that I can. 93 00:05:54,187 --> 00:05:56,417 There's a patient in pain, I'm there. 94 00:05:56,456 --> 00:05:58,515 [chuckles] 95 00:05:59,425 --> 00:06:01,985 Can you feel that there? Can you feel that? 96 00:06:02,028 --> 00:06:05,327 There's no need for you to do that. I can feel that. 97 00:06:06,332 --> 00:06:11,292 The residents are here. In the hospital, so whatever you're doing... 98 00:06:11,337 --> 00:06:13,862 - What are you doing? - We gave him an epidural. 99 00:06:13,906 --> 00:06:15,999 - And didn't call me? - It just happened. 100 00:06:16,042 --> 00:06:19,705 You know, epidurals don't just happen. I'm staying at Death's. 101 00:06:19,746 --> 00:06:21,907 - Staying at Meredith's? What? - Lexie! 102 00:06:21,948 --> 00:06:25,907 - Dude. He peed himself. - We forgot the catheter! 103 00:06:25,952 --> 00:06:28,716 - No catheters! - Do you wanna pee yourself again? 104 00:06:28,755 --> 00:06:33,021 - No. - An epidural. Wow. I'm impressed. 105 00:06:33,059 --> 00:06:37,018 - Death is so wrong about you. - Why? What did she say? 106 00:06:37,063 --> 00:06:38,621 That you were a priss. 107 00:06:39,198 --> 00:06:42,929 Too bad he's not pregnant. We could do a C-section. 108 00:06:42,969 --> 00:06:46,132 - We could take out his appendix. - Or amputate his foot. 109 00:06:46,172 --> 00:06:48,106 Seriously. 110 00:06:49,976 --> 00:06:54,709 - He doesn't need his appendix. - We could take out his appendix. 111 00:06:54,747 --> 00:06:57,238 We'll find an empty OR, in and out in an hour. 112 00:06:57,283 --> 00:06:59,683 - I'm sitting right here. - You could watch. 113 00:06:59,719 --> 00:07:02,279 We wouldn't put you under. Stay on the epidural. 114 00:07:02,321 --> 00:07:05,916 I'm off tomorrow. I'd trade and take his shift so he could recover. 115 00:07:05,958 --> 00:07:09,018 - They're all here. - They're busy chasing solo surgery. 116 00:07:09,061 --> 00:07:11,757 It's a genius idea. We would be rock stars. 117 00:07:11,798 --> 00:07:17,065 No! I draw the line at a tube in my penis. Line drawn! 118 00:07:17,103 --> 00:07:20,937 Fine. Do me. 119 00:07:20,973 --> 00:07:24,636 As long as I can do one of you guys next. 120 00:07:24,677 --> 00:07:27,771 - Done. - Done. 121 00:07:28,881 --> 00:07:30,781 - What have we got? - Massive injuries. 122 00:07:30,817 --> 00:07:34,150 Shepherd and Hunt are working. Sleepwalking and took a header 123 00:07:34,187 --> 00:07:37,486 - through a window. Night terrors. - Can you imagine? 124 00:07:37,523 --> 00:07:40,959 You wake up, you're battered, bruised, don't know where you are 125 00:07:40,993 --> 00:07:43,018 - or how you got there? - Like my life: 126 00:07:43,062 --> 00:07:46,657 Married, betrayed, gay, abandoned. Wake up, no idea how I got here. 127 00:07:46,699 --> 00:07:49,395 I just figured this is the bottom, as bad as it gets. 128 00:07:49,435 --> 00:07:53,565 - It can only go up from here. - Tib-fib. Trauma series is clear. 129 00:07:53,606 --> 00:07:55,767 - Needs a head CT. - Free fluid in there. 130 00:07:55,808 --> 00:07:58,333 Oh, God. Ivy, get out of the way! 131 00:07:58,377 --> 00:08:00,709 - The mountain lion's there! - You're in a hospital. 132 00:08:00,746 --> 00:08:03,214 - Ivy! Where's my daughter? - I'm right here. 133 00:08:03,249 --> 00:08:05,774 He's gonna get my daughter! Let me go! 134 00:08:05,818 --> 00:08:08,013 - I've gotta get my daughter! - Calm down. 135 00:08:08,054 --> 00:08:11,080 - He's gonna get Ivy! - Mr. Soltanoff, calm down! 136 00:08:15,361 --> 00:08:16,521 [shouting] 137 00:08:17,930 --> 00:08:19,898 Let go! She needs me! 138 00:08:22,268 --> 00:08:25,135 OK. Bailey's got an appy in OR 2, so this floor's out. 139 00:08:25,171 --> 00:08:28,106 But outpatient surgery is totally open. 140 00:08:28,140 --> 00:08:31,109 - OK, let's go. - Looking for something? 141 00:08:31,244 --> 00:08:32,438 Hi. 142 00:08:33,513 --> 00:08:37,472 We were giving Sadie the tour. This is the OR Board. 143 00:08:39,051 --> 00:08:41,884 And this is a patient. You're in good hands. 144 00:08:41,921 --> 00:08:46,017 - Dr. Grey is an excellent doctor. - What's next on the tour? 145 00:08:47,894 --> 00:08:51,557 - Back to skills lab? - Skills lab, great idea. 146 00:08:52,899 --> 00:08:56,699 - Gotta stick with my allies. - Smiley face posters. 147 00:08:56,736 --> 00:08:58,169 That's all I'm saying. 148 00:08:58,204 --> 00:09:01,071 Mrs. Hammer, what seems to be the problem? 149 00:09:01,107 --> 00:09:04,838 I have this pain in my stomach and I can't keep food down. 150 00:09:04,877 --> 00:09:07,812 - It goes through me. - Tell him your theory, Lauren. 151 00:09:07,847 --> 00:09:10,577 - She has a theory. - I'm right here, I can speak. 152 00:09:10,650 --> 00:09:13,585 Thinks she has stomach cancer. The Internet told her. 153 00:09:13,619 --> 00:09:17,282 I'm not a hypochondriac! He's not inside my body. 154 00:09:17,323 --> 00:09:20,053 I have a theory, too. Crazy disease. Diarrhea. 155 00:09:20,092 --> 00:09:22,720 - Seth. - Fine. Shutting up. 156 00:09:22,762 --> 00:09:24,923 Let's take a look. 157 00:09:24,964 --> 00:09:28,559 You're not tender over your appendix. We don't need to take that out. 158 00:09:28,601 --> 00:09:32,264 That's a good thing, right? You look upset. 159 00:09:32,305 --> 00:09:33,966 Just disappointed... for you. 160 00:09:34,006 --> 00:09:37,066 I'm gonna have to collect a stool sample. 161 00:09:38,344 --> 00:09:42,007 I can't believe this is happening. 162 00:09:42,048 --> 00:09:45,506 - It wasn't a great nose, anyway. - Yes, it was. 163 00:09:45,551 --> 00:09:49,317 - It was a nice nose. - Relax, I was kidding. 164 00:09:49,355 --> 00:09:51,755 It was a gorgeous nose and it will be again. 165 00:09:51,791 --> 00:09:55,192 - Two weeks, won't be able to tell. - Really? 166 00:09:55,227 --> 00:09:57,491 - Three weeks. Four tops. - I hate you. 167 00:09:57,530 --> 00:09:59,157 - You love me. Little pinch. - Ow! 168 00:09:59,198 --> 00:10:01,462 Ow, ow, ow, ow! 169 00:10:01,500 --> 00:10:04,230 Come on, that didn't hurt. 170 00:10:06,138 --> 00:10:09,801 Maybe if I was having a good year, it would feel like a little pinch. 171 00:10:09,842 --> 00:10:12,777 But it hurts, Mark. It hurts a lot! 172 00:10:12,812 --> 00:10:17,408 You know what? I was gonna do this with some local, 173 00:10:17,450 --> 00:10:20,544 but I think we'll use conscious sedation. When you wake up, 174 00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:23,487 your nose will be fixed and it'll be a whole new day. 175 00:10:23,522 --> 00:10:27,288 OK. Well, at least I still have you. 176 00:10:27,326 --> 00:10:30,352 You'll still be my friend and have sex with me when I want. 177 00:10:30,396 --> 00:10:31,988 Anytime. 178 00:10:32,031 --> 00:10:34,499 You know, once your face heals. 179 00:10:35,868 --> 00:10:37,495 - I hate you. - You love me. 180 00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:41,197 I hit a doctor? 181 00:10:41,240 --> 00:10:43,800 I don't understand. What am I even doing here? 182 00:10:43,843 --> 00:10:47,802 Your daughter said you were having a dream and jumped out the window. 183 00:10:47,847 --> 00:10:50,816 - Have a history of sleepwalking? - It started years ago, 184 00:10:50,850 --> 00:10:55,184 when my wife died. Scared me so much, I went to a sleep clinic. 185 00:10:55,221 --> 00:11:00,124 They said it was stress-induced, and gave me some clonazepam. 186 00:11:00,192 --> 00:11:04,094 - How's that been working? - I'm raising a 13 year old, 187 00:11:04,163 --> 00:11:07,530 so stress comes with the job. I haven't had an episode in a while. 188 00:11:08,768 --> 00:11:11,760 I must have forgotten to take my pill tonight. 189 00:11:11,804 --> 00:11:15,763 Honey, I'm so sorry. 190 00:11:15,841 --> 00:11:19,436 - You must have been so scared. - I'm OK. I'm fine. 191 00:11:19,512 --> 00:11:22,379 - I'm just worried about you. - I'm sorry. 192 00:11:28,087 --> 00:11:30,555 Dr. Sloan. Hi. Hello. 193 00:11:30,589 --> 00:11:34,753 Know where they keep the IV kits? Where are all the damn interns? 194 00:11:34,827 --> 00:11:37,887 The interns are... interning. 195 00:11:37,963 --> 00:11:40,932 - Busily interning. They're very busy. - Dr. Sloan. 196 00:11:40,966 --> 00:11:44,458 - Little Grey. - I need some medical supplies. 197 00:11:44,503 --> 00:11:47,495 Found the intern in the supply closet. 198 00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:50,703 Did not invite the intern into the supply closet. 199 00:11:50,743 --> 00:11:52,938 - Go away now, Grey. - Thank you. 200 00:11:55,448 --> 00:11:57,780 Stop looking at me. I didn't do anything. 201 00:11:57,817 --> 00:12:01,048 - Don't do anything. Don't. - I didn't. I didn't. 202 00:12:01,987 --> 00:12:05,923 Dr. Bailey, do you have to visualize the peritoneum? 203 00:12:05,958 --> 00:12:10,418 Depends. I've seen so many, usually just feel it. 204 00:12:10,496 --> 00:12:13,090 Did you split the muscle this way or that way? 205 00:12:13,165 --> 00:12:15,725 This way. No, that... Hold it. 206 00:12:15,768 --> 00:12:18,703 That way. It's the kind of thing that becomes so natural, 207 00:12:18,738 --> 00:12:21,263 you don't even think about it after a while. 208 00:12:24,543 --> 00:12:29,776 The two of you are thinking so hard, it makes me tired just looking at you. 209 00:12:29,815 --> 00:12:33,273 - This is so cool. - Can you believe we're doing this? 210 00:12:33,352 --> 00:12:35,616 The epidural should be working. 211 00:12:35,654 --> 00:12:41,286 OK, she's numbed. We're ready. OK. Here we go. 212 00:12:41,327 --> 00:12:44,592 - You OK? - I find the fact you have parents 213 00:12:44,663 --> 00:12:47,257 and smiley face posters oddly comforting. 214 00:12:47,299 --> 00:12:50,598 - What? - I'm ready. 215 00:12:50,636 --> 00:12:53,434 Surgical marker. I'm going to mark the incision. 216 00:12:56,709 --> 00:12:59,735 Can you hold that a little bit closer, please? 217 00:12:59,812 --> 00:13:04,215 One third the distance from the anterior superior iliac spine 218 00:13:04,250 --> 00:13:06,411 to the umbilicus. OK. 219 00:13:08,721 --> 00:13:10,746 That's right about... 220 00:13:17,196 --> 00:13:18,629 OK. 221 00:13:19,965 --> 00:13:22,490 It's a great day to save lives, people. 222 00:13:22,535 --> 00:13:25,595 Although, technically, your life is just fine. And... 223 00:13:25,638 --> 00:13:27,606 It's night-time. 224 00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:30,006 - Shepherd says that... - Could you just go? 225 00:13:30,042 --> 00:13:31,168 Scalpel. 226 00:13:33,312 --> 00:13:34,472 OK... 227 00:13:42,755 --> 00:13:45,952 This is a bad idea. This is a really bad idea. 228 00:13:45,991 --> 00:13:49,188 And it's the middle of the night, so our judgment is... off. 229 00:13:49,228 --> 00:13:53,358 But we can use this frustration that we feel that's driven us to the point 230 00:13:53,399 --> 00:13:55,526 where we're about to do a stupid thing, 231 00:13:55,568 --> 00:13:58,662 a thing I'm certain we'd all regret, possibly from jail. 232 00:13:58,704 --> 00:14:01,696 And we can use that frustration for good. 233 00:14:01,740 --> 00:14:05,642 We can ask for more time in the skills lab, ask to observe more surgeries, 234 00:14:05,678 --> 00:14:09,079 and we can demand that our residents teach us better. 235 00:14:13,719 --> 00:14:15,311 Whoa, whoa, whoa. 236 00:14:18,290 --> 00:14:20,349 Or we can just take out my appendix. 237 00:14:24,230 --> 00:14:28,530 OK. I'm following the taeniae coli down to expose the appendix. 238 00:14:28,601 --> 00:14:30,728 - Wow. - There it is. 239 00:14:30,769 --> 00:14:33,260 - I want to see. - Get her a mirror. 240 00:14:35,674 --> 00:14:38,734 - Ooh! Cool. - Hmm. 241 00:14:38,777 --> 00:14:43,942 - What? - Does it look a little inflamed to you? 242 00:14:43,983 --> 00:14:46,952 It does a little. It looks inflamed. 243 00:14:46,986 --> 00:14:50,581 - Can I see a book? - It's normally only supposed to be 244 00:14:50,623 --> 00:14:53,023 seven to eight millimeters in diameter. 245 00:14:53,058 --> 00:14:55,458 Yeah. It looks a little big. 246 00:14:55,494 --> 00:14:58,520 If it's inflamed, this isn't a routine procedure. 247 00:14:58,564 --> 00:15:01,692 It's... We should... We should call a resident. 248 00:15:01,734 --> 00:15:04,931 - We're not calling a resident. - Sorry. I was just... 249 00:15:04,970 --> 00:15:07,905 - I'm really freaking out. - I'm lying open on the table, 250 00:15:07,940 --> 00:15:11,774 and the last thing I need is panicking. If you can't handle it, leave. 251 00:15:19,652 --> 00:15:21,381 Anybody else? 252 00:15:24,223 --> 00:15:26,384 Kelly clamps and 2-0 silk. 253 00:15:29,762 --> 00:15:32,253 Your dad around? I need to check stitches. 254 00:15:32,298 --> 00:15:35,495 - He's still having tests. - I'll come back. 255 00:15:35,534 --> 00:15:39,265 - Hey. How's that doctor my dad hit? - She'll be OK. 256 00:15:39,305 --> 00:15:42,866 - Tell her I'm really sorry. - Why? You didn't hit her. 257 00:15:42,908 --> 00:15:45,968 Yeah, it's just... 258 00:15:46,045 --> 00:15:48,536 ...if I'd been able to get my dad back to bed... 259 00:15:48,580 --> 00:15:53,313 - Sometimes I can talk him to sleep. - This hasn't happened for a while? 260 00:15:53,352 --> 00:15:57,584 - Him sleepwalking? - Yeah. Right. 261 00:16:01,560 --> 00:16:05,963 - When's the last time you slept? - It's OK. I'm not that tired. 262 00:16:05,998 --> 00:16:08,762 Seriously, kid, you should get some rest. 263 00:16:12,171 --> 00:16:14,799 So you diagnosed yourself? 264 00:16:15,708 --> 00:16:19,041 I ordered antibiotics online to kill a staph infection. 265 00:16:19,078 --> 00:16:22,104 - Oh, my God! - My husband dismissed as a pimple. 266 00:16:22,147 --> 00:16:25,810 - Along with your dermatologist. - Who barely looked at it. 267 00:16:25,851 --> 00:16:30,254 OK? It was a staph infection, Seth. It was. And it went away. 268 00:16:30,289 --> 00:16:34,055 - After I took the drugs, it went away. - Pimples go away. 269 00:16:34,093 --> 00:16:36,653 You have C. diff. It's not going away on its own. 270 00:16:36,695 --> 00:16:40,131 - Well, how do I treat it? - You've basically killed 271 00:16:40,165 --> 00:16:44,795 all the healthy bacteria in your body so we have to introduce new bacteria. 272 00:16:44,837 --> 00:16:48,603 - OK. - By performing what's called a... 273 00:16:48,640 --> 00:16:51,575 - ...a fecal transplant. - Poop? 274 00:16:52,578 --> 00:16:56,605 - I need a poop transplant? - We'd feed a small tube up your nose 275 00:16:56,682 --> 00:17:00,482 and down into your stomach. The donor needs to be someone 276 00:17:00,519 --> 00:17:06,219 who you share everyday germs with. Typically, a spouse. 277 00:17:08,727 --> 00:17:10,524 - Admit it was a pimple. - Seth. 278 00:17:10,562 --> 00:17:14,828 No. I'm not going to crap into a bowl until you admit it was a pimple. 279 00:17:14,867 --> 00:17:18,325 That's the deal! When you're ready, come and find me. 280 00:17:19,671 --> 00:17:23,607 - Come on, tell him it was a pimple. - It was not a pimple! 281 00:17:25,144 --> 00:17:28,341 None of my interns are answering pages. Did they go home...? 282 00:17:28,380 --> 00:17:32,544 - Hey! Where are the other morons? - I don't know. 283 00:17:32,584 --> 00:17:35,348 I was just getting candy and... 284 00:17:35,387 --> 00:17:36,445 I don't know. 285 00:17:36,488 --> 00:17:39,855 - Clearly. - I don't know. I don't know anything. 286 00:17:42,461 --> 00:17:43,860 Hey! 287 00:17:44,730 --> 00:17:49,724 Give me your chocolate. All of it. Give me that, too. 288 00:17:49,768 --> 00:17:53,033 [ 289 00:17:55,307 --> 00:17:58,435 - Where are the stooges? - That moron is a moron, 290 00:17:58,477 --> 00:18:01,605 - and the others are AWOL. - I need an intern to page me 291 00:18:01,647 --> 00:18:04,377 - if my guy craps. - I wonder if they're in skills lab. 292 00:18:04,416 --> 00:18:06,941 - Sadie said something about it. - In the hospital? 293 00:18:06,985 --> 00:18:10,079 Time in skills lab is paying off. My interns are still idiots, 294 00:18:10,122 --> 00:18:13,319 but they're idiots that can put in an IV. 295 00:18:13,358 --> 00:18:15,189 No, they're just idiots. 296 00:18:17,296 --> 00:18:22,495 - So what's going on with Izzie? - I don't know what's wrong. 297 00:18:22,534 --> 00:18:24,832 I'm sick of people not talking to each other. 298 00:18:24,870 --> 00:18:27,430 I'm gonna go get my crap-chick some crap. 299 00:18:27,473 --> 00:18:30,203 [pager beeping] 300 00:18:33,745 --> 00:18:34,803 Meredith? 301 00:18:37,583 --> 00:18:38,811 Do you have a sec? 302 00:18:43,822 --> 00:18:46,655 - Two! What are you doing? - I'm only charting! 303 00:18:46,692 --> 00:18:51,925 - Well, where's Three and 4.2? - I don't know? I thought... 304 00:18:51,964 --> 00:18:55,058 Stop. Come with me, you're doing post-op orders on the appy. 305 00:18:55,100 --> 00:18:59,036 Tell me all about whatever trouble your little friends are into. 306 00:19:01,907 --> 00:19:05,900 - Do you need a leash? Let's go! - No. 307 00:19:13,018 --> 00:19:17,114 - What do you mean, no? - I mean... 308 00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:20,683 ...I kind of can't walk. 309 00:19:20,726 --> 00:19:23,490 Due to the catheter and the epidural. 310 00:19:26,331 --> 00:19:28,856 [ 311 00:19:33,205 --> 00:19:36,504 I can hear your heart beating. 312 00:19:37,809 --> 00:19:42,041 Which is odd because they took it out for the autopsy. 313 00:19:44,616 --> 00:19:47,642 This isn't real, is it? 314 00:19:47,686 --> 00:19:49,085 This is real. 315 00:19:51,123 --> 00:19:53,455 Izzie, this is real. 316 00:19:57,396 --> 00:19:59,796 I'm just gonna keep my eyes closed 317 00:19:59,831 --> 00:20:03,858 because this is like that moment in the morning when you first wake up 318 00:20:03,902 --> 00:20:07,360 and you're still half asleep. And everything seems... 319 00:20:08,440 --> 00:20:11,273 Things are possible. Dreams feel true. 320 00:20:11,310 --> 00:20:14,802 And for that one moment between waking and sleeping, 321 00:20:14,846 --> 00:20:17,474 anything can be real. 322 00:20:18,250 --> 00:20:23,449 And then you open your eyes and the sun hits you and you realize... 323 00:20:26,458 --> 00:20:28,585 I'm just gonna keep my eyes closed. 324 00:20:35,534 --> 00:20:36,762 OK. 325 00:20:37,703 --> 00:20:38,863 OK. 326 00:20:38,904 --> 00:20:41,134 [distant thunderclap] 327 00:20:53,352 --> 00:20:55,718 I think she's dying. 328 00:20:59,524 --> 00:21:00,752 [monitor beeping] 329 00:21:00,792 --> 00:21:03,886 - Her BP is dangerously low. - We need to push two liters of LR. 330 00:21:03,929 --> 00:21:06,989 - Should we call a code? - There is no code team in outpatient 331 00:21:07,032 --> 00:21:10,991 in the night because this would be done by a surgeon in a regular OR. 332 00:21:11,036 --> 00:21:14,096 Page the chief, get Bailey. Tell her there's an emergency. 333 00:21:14,139 --> 00:21:18,542 You're not to say anything else. Take that crazy look off your face. 334 00:21:20,412 --> 00:21:25,281 How's Mr. Soltanoff? His night terrors are happening more than he knows. 335 00:21:25,317 --> 00:21:26,443 The kid's exhausted. 336 00:21:26,518 --> 00:21:29,681 Scary going to bed at night not knowing what you to wake up to. 337 00:21:29,721 --> 00:21:33,020 Sounds like living with Meredith. She takes in strays. 338 00:21:34,593 --> 00:21:38,256 It's your fault. I never thought about Little Grey in that way 339 00:21:38,297 --> 00:21:40,356 until you told me not to. 340 00:21:40,432 --> 00:21:42,866 Now, I can't help it. You planted a seed. 341 00:21:42,901 --> 00:21:44,198 Unplant it. 342 00:21:46,571 --> 00:21:50,098 She wants to tell you something. 343 00:21:52,244 --> 00:21:56,442 I believe that you believe it was a pimple. 344 00:21:56,481 --> 00:21:59,507 - Lauren... - That's the best I can do. 345 00:21:59,551 --> 00:22:05,217 - I believe that you believe it... - It was a pimple! 346 00:22:05,257 --> 00:22:08,818 - It was a staph infection! - No poo! No poo for you! 347 00:22:08,860 --> 00:22:12,626 Wait! Dude, she could lie to you and tell you what you want to hear, 348 00:22:12,664 --> 00:22:15,724 but she's not. She's telling you what's real for her. 349 00:22:15,767 --> 00:22:17,735 Stop walking away. 350 00:22:25,043 --> 00:22:27,409 I still think this could be stomach cancer. 351 00:22:27,446 --> 00:22:32,042 And when I get a headache, I think it's a brain tumor. 352 00:22:32,117 --> 00:22:36,349 And I lay awake and feel lumps in my breasts, 353 00:22:36,388 --> 00:22:39,687 and my heart starts to race and I think I'm having a heart attack. 354 00:22:39,725 --> 00:22:43,525 So no, I don't think it was a pimple. 355 00:22:44,196 --> 00:22:48,656 The world is a scary place 356 00:22:48,700 --> 00:22:52,796 and there are a thousand things a day that can kill you. 357 00:22:54,039 --> 00:22:57,202 And I don't see how you don't see it. 358 00:22:59,444 --> 00:23:02,538 Dr. Bailey, there's an emergency in outpatient surgery. 359 00:23:02,614 --> 00:23:05,879 - What kind of emergency? - There's a... 360 00:23:05,951 --> 00:23:10,081 It's an emergency. Please come? 361 00:23:13,024 --> 00:23:16,050 I'd like to do an EEG. There's a chance night terrors are caused 362 00:23:16,094 --> 00:23:18,585 by epilepsy in the frontal lobe. 363 00:23:18,630 --> 00:23:22,225 I went through all that in the sleep clinic. As long as I take my meds... 364 00:23:22,267 --> 00:23:25,930 We have reason to believe the problem may be worse than you're aware. 365 00:23:25,971 --> 00:23:29,236 - I don't understand. - How often does your dad sleepwalk? 366 00:23:29,307 --> 00:23:32,105 I sleep. I just forgot my meds this time. 367 00:23:32,144 --> 00:23:33,736 No, you didn't. 368 00:23:34,946 --> 00:23:38,143 You took them while I was brushing my teeth like you always do, 369 00:23:38,183 --> 00:23:40,879 and then you put me to bed like you always do, 370 00:23:40,919 --> 00:23:44,446 and then you woke up screaming like you always do. 371 00:23:44,489 --> 00:23:48,892 I try to stay awake because usually I can talk you back to bed. 372 00:23:48,927 --> 00:23:53,125 But tonight, I must have fallen asleep. 373 00:23:53,165 --> 00:23:56,362 - Why didn't you tell me? - You said these bad dreams 374 00:23:56,435 --> 00:23:59,700 were caused by stress, and I'm your stress. 375 00:23:59,805 --> 00:24:02,239 You take such good care of me during the day, 376 00:24:02,307 --> 00:24:05,037 the least I could do was take care of you at night. 377 00:24:05,076 --> 00:24:09,172 We're saying the nightmares were caused by epilepsy, not the stress. 378 00:24:09,214 --> 00:24:13,310 If the test confirms epilepsy, you understand what that would mean? 379 00:24:14,820 --> 00:24:17,789 - This wasn't my fault? - That it wasn't your fault. 380 00:24:19,157 --> 00:24:21,022 Dad... 381 00:24:24,162 --> 00:24:26,153 Let's get the EEG. 382 00:24:27,599 --> 00:24:28,998 Sweetheart. 383 00:24:29,034 --> 00:24:31,832 [ 384 00:24:36,074 --> 00:24:37,666 Denny? 385 00:24:39,144 --> 00:24:40,304 Denny? 386 00:24:41,513 --> 00:24:42,844 Denny! 387 00:24:43,748 --> 00:24:46,876 - Denny! Denny! - What's all the yelling about? 388 00:24:46,918 --> 00:24:50,684 You can't do that! You can't disappear! I thought you were gone! 389 00:24:50,722 --> 00:24:52,952 - I was just... - I thought you left me again! 390 00:24:55,293 --> 00:24:58,490 - I told you, I'm here for you. - No, you're not. You died. 391 00:24:58,530 --> 00:25:01,829 You died and you left me here! I was left here by myself! 392 00:25:01,900 --> 00:25:05,836 - You left me all alone! - You're not alone anymore. 393 00:25:05,871 --> 00:25:09,705 Why? Why did you come back? I had moved on! I got over you! 394 00:25:09,741 --> 00:25:12,676 I have a life and a job and a boyfriend! 395 00:25:12,777 --> 00:25:15,507 And now you're back and I'm in this room all day, 396 00:25:15,547 --> 00:25:18,516 probably talking to myself! I'm probably going crazy! 397 00:25:18,550 --> 00:25:22,247 There is a real world out there and I'm stuck in here with you! 398 00:25:22,287 --> 00:25:26,246 - I'm sorry I died. - No! No! Screw you! 399 00:25:26,291 --> 00:25:29,818 You don't get to apologize for dying! 400 00:25:29,861 --> 00:25:32,591 You don't get to apologize because I killed you! 401 00:25:32,631 --> 00:25:36,658 I convinced you to let me cut the LVAD and I killed you! 402 00:25:36,701 --> 00:25:39,363 So you don't get to apologize for dying! 403 00:25:39,404 --> 00:25:42,066 - Dead people don't apologize! - Izzie. 404 00:25:42,107 --> 00:25:45,167 Just shut up! Shut up! 405 00:25:58,623 --> 00:26:01,251 [rain falling] 406 00:26:07,499 --> 00:26:09,023 I love you. 407 00:26:13,204 --> 00:26:14,933 I love you, too. 408 00:26:17,676 --> 00:26:21,237 - What the hell is going on? - Trying to take out her appendix. 409 00:26:21,313 --> 00:26:24,646 - Whose foolish idea was that? - Mine. 410 00:26:25,951 --> 00:26:29,284 - Where are we? - Found the artery in meso-appendix. 411 00:26:29,321 --> 00:26:32,449 - The stitches the interns did came off. - Hand me a 3-0 silk. 412 00:26:32,490 --> 00:26:34,856 I need more suction. How's her pressure? 413 00:26:34,960 --> 00:26:38,327 - 74 systolic. - She's really bleeding. I can't see. 414 00:26:38,363 --> 00:26:41,127 The stump isn't closed. She needs a cecectomy. 415 00:26:41,166 --> 00:26:44,658 - I can't get to the appendiceal artery. - You can. You almost had it. 416 00:26:44,703 --> 00:26:45,829 Here. 417 00:26:46,738 --> 00:26:50,071 - Is your visualization better? - I can't see anything! 418 00:26:50,108 --> 00:26:52,599 Don't panic. Put that down. 419 00:26:52,644 --> 00:26:57,877 Feel down for the meso-appendix. Find the pulsation. 420 00:26:58,350 --> 00:27:00,750 Now follow it to the end. 421 00:27:02,087 --> 00:27:06,990 - It feels... I think I've got it. - Good. Now, place your clamp. 422 00:27:08,259 --> 00:27:13,322 OK. That's right. Grey, tie it off while Yang holds the clamp in place. 423 00:27:13,398 --> 00:27:15,992 - Stick-tie or ligature suture? - Whatever works. 424 00:27:16,034 --> 00:27:18,025 You have to do what feels right to you. 425 00:27:19,204 --> 00:27:20,501 Ligature suture. 426 00:27:34,452 --> 00:27:37,979 - Are we gonna go to jail? - You're not gonna go to jail. 427 00:27:38,023 --> 00:27:43,017 You didn't have the balls to stay. The rest of us are gonna go to jail. 428 00:27:45,697 --> 00:27:47,358 I just heard. 429 00:27:47,399 --> 00:27:49,333 What the hell happened? 430 00:27:49,401 --> 00:27:52,131 We live together. You should have come to me. 431 00:27:52,170 --> 00:27:55,970 - So what? You could have saved me? - Maybe I could have stopped you. 432 00:27:56,007 --> 00:27:58,373 This isn't about you. 433 00:27:58,410 --> 00:28:01,277 This is the one thing I've done in the past few months 434 00:28:01,312 --> 00:28:05,271 that wasn't about getting you to notice me. I did this. 435 00:28:05,316 --> 00:28:08,808 You had nothing to do with it. This was all me. 436 00:28:11,322 --> 00:28:17,022 Dude, she's like in love with you. How did you miss that? 437 00:28:35,046 --> 00:28:36,946 [beeping] 438 00:28:39,851 --> 00:28:42,979 - It's 911. I have to go. - OK. So go. 439 00:28:46,357 --> 00:28:50,088 Is this the part where you go back to heaven or wherever 440 00:28:50,128 --> 00:28:53,723 and you and your dead guy friends talk about how great it was 441 00:28:53,765 --> 00:28:56,427 that you gave me this last night together? 442 00:28:56,468 --> 00:29:00,063 That I needed it to grieve and move on? 443 00:29:00,105 --> 00:29:02,938 Me and my dead guy friends mostly talk about sports. 444 00:29:02,974 --> 00:29:06,774 - Denny... - Izzie, go. 445 00:29:06,811 --> 00:29:09,177 I'm not going anywhere. 446 00:29:09,214 --> 00:29:12,149 [ 447 00:29:17,188 --> 00:29:19,088 We're just about ready. 448 00:29:20,592 --> 00:29:24,289 - I'm sorry, honey, for all my crazy. - Don't be sorry. 449 00:29:24,329 --> 00:29:28,732 I love you, even crazy. OK. I've taken your crap all these years. 450 00:29:28,767 --> 00:29:32,032 It's finally time for you to take mine. 451 00:29:32,103 --> 00:29:35,004 I'm here for my wife, but it's better for our sex life 452 00:29:35,039 --> 00:29:39,100 if I don't see this, so I'll be here for her down in the lobby. 453 00:29:46,785 --> 00:29:49,379 No more spikes. We've eliminated seizure area. 454 00:29:49,454 --> 00:29:52,252 He can finally get a decent night's sleep. 455 00:29:52,290 --> 00:29:56,522 - How did he not know this happened? - Why is it his fault for not noticing? 456 00:29:56,561 --> 00:29:59,189 Going through life thinking they had the relationship 457 00:29:59,230 --> 00:30:01,824 where she could talk to him if she was in trouble. 458 00:30:01,866 --> 00:30:05,700 If you really have feelings for someone, if you really love them, 459 00:30:05,737 --> 00:30:09,639 - then you talk to them. - Maybe she tried. 460 00:30:09,674 --> 00:30:12,040 We don't know what went on between them. 461 00:30:12,110 --> 00:30:17,275 Maybe words failed her. Sometimes, words fail. 462 00:30:24,155 --> 00:30:27,989 Your dad won't be out of surgery for at least another hour. 463 00:30:28,026 --> 00:30:31,257 You could have a little nap. 464 00:30:31,296 --> 00:30:33,730 You're 13? You're hitting the hard stuff? 465 00:30:33,765 --> 00:30:36,097 I like the taste. 466 00:30:38,703 --> 00:30:42,969 I was raised by parents who weren't very interested in having kids. 467 00:30:43,007 --> 00:30:47,944 They had friends, they had lives. They weren't around much at night. 468 00:30:47,979 --> 00:30:51,676 Before I went to bed, I would turn on all the TVs, 469 00:30:51,716 --> 00:30:55,743 every light in the house, even in the closets. 470 00:30:55,787 --> 00:30:59,052 Still couldn't sleep. 471 00:31:02,560 --> 00:31:07,190 It's hard to sleep when you don't feel safe in your own house, isn't it? 472 00:31:07,232 --> 00:31:09,097 Yeah. 473 00:31:10,568 --> 00:31:14,527 Give me that. You are going to sleep. 474 00:31:14,572 --> 00:31:18,565 - No. - I'm not taking no for an answer. 475 00:31:18,610 --> 00:31:21,579 Close your eyes. I'll be here. 476 00:31:21,613 --> 00:31:23,843 Go on. 477 00:31:23,882 --> 00:31:25,474 Close your eyes. 478 00:31:26,417 --> 00:31:28,408 Close your eyes. 479 00:31:35,994 --> 00:31:37,791 I was sleeping. 480 00:31:37,829 --> 00:31:42,129 And sleep isn't easy for me to come by, but I was finally sleeping. 481 00:31:42,166 --> 00:31:44,600 - Then I get a call. - I can't believe it. 482 00:31:44,636 --> 00:31:48,037 - I still can't believe it. - Don't beat yourself up about it. 483 00:31:48,072 --> 00:31:51,530 I've seen a lot of maturity in you through this whole mess. 484 00:31:51,576 --> 00:31:54,773 You handled the crisis, you handled the surgery. 485 00:31:54,812 --> 00:31:57,042 You saved that girl's life. 486 00:31:57,081 --> 00:32:00,448 And you called for help right away. 487 00:32:00,485 --> 00:32:04,478 There was a time you would have reached a different conclusion. 488 00:32:04,522 --> 00:32:07,047 You could've stuck to the code and saved your own. 489 00:32:07,091 --> 00:32:08,490 Tried to hide the mess. 490 00:32:08,526 --> 00:32:11,620 Sometimes protecting colleagues is solidarity, 491 00:32:11,663 --> 00:32:14,223 and sometimes it's just hubris. 492 00:32:14,265 --> 00:32:16,199 I'm glad to see you know the difference. 493 00:32:17,602 --> 00:32:20,162 Chief... I can't let you get in trouble. 494 00:32:20,204 --> 00:32:21,933 - Lexie... - It's not right. 495 00:32:22,006 --> 00:32:25,100 People tried to stop me. Dr. Yang told me to shut it down, 496 00:32:25,143 --> 00:32:28,476 - but I didn't listen. - You knew about this yesterday? 497 00:32:28,513 --> 00:32:30,947 - Did you know? - No. 498 00:32:30,982 --> 00:32:33,473 - You knew. - No! 499 00:32:33,518 --> 00:32:36,578 You knew they were gonna cut her? Lexie just said you knew! 500 00:32:36,621 --> 00:32:40,557 I knew they were doing sutures. I didn't think I needed to say anything 501 00:32:40,591 --> 00:32:43,424 - because I shut it down. - Apparently, you didn't. 502 00:32:43,461 --> 00:32:46,760 Almost cost Lexie her job, not to mention Sadie almost died! 503 00:32:46,798 --> 00:32:48,231 Sadie did that to herself, 504 00:32:48,266 --> 00:32:51,235 and let's not pretend you have a relationship with Lexie. 505 00:32:51,269 --> 00:32:54,067 - Let's not pretend you care. - I care about my job! 506 00:32:54,105 --> 00:32:56,699 - I care about doing right! - Who are you to lecture 507 00:32:56,741 --> 00:33:00,472 on doing right? Are you kidding me? You're not an attending. 508 00:33:00,511 --> 00:33:03,674 - You may be sleeping with one. - Is that was this is about? 509 00:33:03,748 --> 00:33:07,275 - It's always gonna be about Derek? - Fine, it's about you and me 510 00:33:07,318 --> 00:33:11,049 - and that you didn't have my back. - What did you want me to say? 511 00:33:11,089 --> 00:33:13,319 Anything! You should have said anything! 512 00:33:13,358 --> 00:33:17,692 You have a relationship with the chief, have his ear, you didn't say anything 513 00:33:17,729 --> 00:33:22,291 to defend me. Because this isn't just on me. 514 00:33:22,333 --> 00:33:26,235 You stood there and watched him take me out of the running for solo surgery. 515 00:33:26,270 --> 00:33:30,764 You let me take the blame. We all had interns in that room. 516 00:33:30,808 --> 00:33:35,074 We all failed to supervise them. And if your friend had died in there, 517 00:33:35,113 --> 00:33:38,571 if you and I hadn't saved her life, that would have been on all of us. 518 00:33:38,616 --> 00:33:40,015 You should have said that. 519 00:33:55,500 --> 00:33:58,367 - Why are you looking at me? - We were wondering... 520 00:33:58,403 --> 00:34:01,167 - The interns... - What you're gonna say to them. 521 00:34:01,205 --> 00:34:05,335 Uh-uh. No. No. I am tired. I'm not saying anything to the interns. 522 00:34:05,410 --> 00:34:07,640 I raised my babies. You were my babies. 523 00:34:07,712 --> 00:34:11,671 You all are grown. This is on you. You raise your own babies. 524 00:34:11,716 --> 00:34:14,844 - So we have to talk to them? - Your babies. 525 00:34:14,886 --> 00:34:18,481 - What do we say? - Do you need a speech from me? 526 00:34:18,523 --> 00:34:22,152 At this point? After this time? If you do, you shouldn't be here. 527 00:34:22,193 --> 00:34:26,562 If you do, I haven't raised you right. And I know I raised you right. 528 00:34:26,597 --> 00:34:31,933 No. You don't get a speech from me. It's time to make your own speeches. 529 00:34:44,916 --> 00:34:49,080 - Dr. Grey, present. - Sadie Harris, 30, 530 00:34:49,120 --> 00:34:52,556 three hours post appendectomy complicated by hemorrhaging. 531 00:34:52,590 --> 00:34:55,525 - Death, what is this? - Dr. Spalding. 532 00:34:55,560 --> 00:35:00,588 Vitals stable, antibiotic coverage. She should recover within two weeks. 533 00:35:01,833 --> 00:35:06,964 - And? - And we, your surgeons, 534 00:35:07,004 --> 00:35:09,905 made mistakes that compromised your care. 535 00:35:09,941 --> 00:35:14,469 Mistakes that reflect poorly on this hospital and that won't happen again. 536 00:35:14,512 --> 00:35:17,606 Effective immediately, every intern here is on probation. 537 00:35:17,648 --> 00:35:20,947 So much as sneeze, and you're done. 538 00:35:21,853 --> 00:35:25,186 None of you will see the inside of an OR until further notice. 539 00:35:25,223 --> 00:35:29,990 You've lost the chief's respect, which believe me, is not an easy thing to get. 540 00:35:30,027 --> 00:35:34,555 Speaking for myself, you've lost my respect and won't get that back. 541 00:35:34,599 --> 00:35:37,932 - But he still respects Izzie Stevens. - What did you say? 542 00:35:37,969 --> 00:35:41,336 You still seem to respect Izzie Stevens and she killed a patient. 543 00:35:42,807 --> 00:35:46,436 She was trying to save a man's life. You almost killed a friend for fun. 544 00:35:46,511 --> 00:35:48,103 It's different. 545 00:35:58,322 --> 00:36:03,453 - How're you doing? - They give good drugs here. 546 00:36:04,395 --> 00:36:06,955 - Do I look bad? - You look beautiful. 547 00:36:06,998 --> 00:36:09,489 Badge of honor all over your face. 548 00:36:09,534 --> 00:36:11,331 [groans] 549 00:36:14,705 --> 00:36:17,299 Hey. Did I hear correctly? 550 00:36:17,341 --> 00:36:23,041 - That the interns went scalpel-crazy? - Yes, you did. 551 00:36:23,080 --> 00:36:24,945 [chuckles, groans] 552 00:36:24,982 --> 00:36:29,248 - Crazy. - I don't know that they were. Crazy. 553 00:36:29,287 --> 00:36:32,552 I can remember what it's like being an intern. 554 00:36:32,590 --> 00:36:36,856 Loving medicine. Being so excited by surgery, 555 00:36:36,894 --> 00:36:41,422 wanted to operate so badly that I'd do anything. 556 00:36:41,465 --> 00:36:46,425 That I couldn't stop bouncing up and down long enough to hold a scalpel. 557 00:36:46,504 --> 00:36:48,131 Now... 558 00:36:50,107 --> 00:36:51,597 Now? 559 00:36:55,379 --> 00:36:59,145 I can do most of my surgeries without even thinking about it. 560 00:36:59,217 --> 00:37:05,053 Like I'm driving. Suddenly, I'm home. I don't even know how I got there. 561 00:37:05,089 --> 00:37:07,455 It's rote. 562 00:37:07,525 --> 00:37:13,464 I don't even remember most surgeries. Most of the lives I save. 563 00:37:13,497 --> 00:37:17,365 And the residents, they work so hard, 564 00:37:17,401 --> 00:37:22,896 working like crazy to get to do a solo surgery that I have come to hate. 565 00:37:22,940 --> 00:37:27,434 I hate appys. Appys bore me. 566 00:37:27,478 --> 00:37:32,074 I resent the appendix for bothering to get hot and needing to come out. 567 00:37:32,116 --> 00:37:34,516 I resent an organ. 568 00:37:35,653 --> 00:37:38,554 I don't know. 569 00:37:38,589 --> 00:37:41,285 Maybe I don't want to do general surgery after all. 570 00:37:41,325 --> 00:37:44,590 Maybe I need a new challenge. Maybe I need something to make me 571 00:37:44,629 --> 00:37:49,293 bounce up and down. Maybe I'm just tired. 572 00:37:50,901 --> 00:37:55,565 - It's OK... to be tired. - Hmm. 573 00:37:56,707 --> 00:37:58,004 Right? 574 00:38:00,211 --> 00:38:04,170 - You're tired, too. - I'm exhausted. 575 00:38:06,083 --> 00:38:08,643 Deep down inside exhausted. 576 00:38:09,453 --> 00:38:11,580 I just... I want... 577 00:38:14,625 --> 00:38:16,650 I don't know. 578 00:38:17,795 --> 00:38:19,922 But I want something. 579 00:38:21,632 --> 00:38:24,032 Well, that makes two of us. 580 00:38:27,505 --> 00:38:31,407 [Meredith] Sleep. It's the easiest thing to do. 581 00:38:31,442 --> 00:38:32,966 You just... 582 00:38:34,245 --> 00:38:36,975 ...close your eyes. 583 00:38:37,014 --> 00:38:39,710 [ 584 00:38:42,486 --> 00:38:46,286 OK, fine. The surgery was a bad idea. 585 00:38:46,324 --> 00:38:51,261 No, it was a terrible idea. Speaking as your boss, it was an irresponsible 586 00:38:51,329 --> 00:38:54,298 and reckless idea that makes me question if you have 587 00:38:54,332 --> 00:38:56,732 - what it takes to be a good doctor. - Death... 588 00:38:56,801 --> 00:38:58,632 As your friend... 589 00:39:00,338 --> 00:39:02,306 ...what the hell is going on with you? 590 00:39:05,943 --> 00:39:08,070 I don't know. 591 00:39:08,112 --> 00:39:10,774 But for so many of us, 592 00:39:10,848 --> 00:39:13,578 sleep seems out of our grasp. 593 00:39:17,521 --> 00:39:19,045 Thank you. 594 00:39:19,090 --> 00:39:21,524 Your mom used to see how tired I was. 595 00:39:21,559 --> 00:39:25,655 She used to make you bring me home 'cause I was alone and needed family. 596 00:39:26,564 --> 00:39:28,725 That was a good thing. 597 00:39:28,766 --> 00:39:31,030 So either you bring her home or I will. 598 00:39:38,175 --> 00:39:42,236 We want it, but we don't know how to get it. 599 00:39:51,422 --> 00:39:53,253 I don't know why I came here. 600 00:39:59,597 --> 00:40:01,588 - Do you want to come in? - No. 601 00:40:01,632 --> 00:40:04,692 I don't think that would be appropriate. 602 00:40:07,104 --> 00:40:09,038 Do you want to go someplace else? 603 00:40:11,809 --> 00:40:13,242 No. 604 00:40:31,462 --> 00:40:32,986 I think you're beautiful. 605 00:40:38,002 --> 00:40:42,371 But once we face our demons, face our fears... 606 00:40:51,882 --> 00:40:54,749 - Hey. Lexie's here. - Hey. 607 00:40:54,819 --> 00:40:57,686 - Yeah. - Are you making up a bed for her? 608 00:40:57,721 --> 00:41:02,181 - Yeah. - You brought home a stray. 609 00:41:02,226 --> 00:41:03,818 Yeah. 610 00:41:04,795 --> 00:41:08,959 - ...and turn to each other for help. - I'm gonna try to get some sleep. 611 00:41:08,999 --> 00:41:11,763 I gotta be back at the hospital in six hours. 612 00:41:14,805 --> 00:41:16,739 Alex, wait... 613 00:41:17,608 --> 00:41:19,599 I'm a mess. 614 00:41:19,643 --> 00:41:22,510 I'm a flat-out freaking mess. I know that. I know. 615 00:41:22,546 --> 00:41:25,982 And I'm sorry. 616 00:41:26,016 --> 00:41:29,144 - You deserve a lot... - Stop. 617 00:41:29,186 --> 00:41:34,089 If you don't want to be with me, if this is too much for you now, 618 00:41:34,124 --> 00:41:36,422 it's OK. 619 00:41:36,460 --> 00:41:39,952 But you're gonna have to break up with me. I'm not going anywhere. 620 00:41:39,997 --> 00:41:44,161 I can handle the mess. So it's up to you. 621 00:41:46,704 --> 00:41:48,501 You coming? 622 00:42:01,952 --> 00:42:03,351 I'm sorry. 623 00:42:03,921 --> 00:42:05,786 I can't... 624 00:42:06,590 --> 00:42:08,956 It's OK. 625 00:42:08,993 --> 00:42:10,756 I will be right here. 626 00:42:11,328 --> 00:42:13,592 It's OK. 627 00:42:13,631 --> 00:42:16,862 Night-time isn't so scary because... 628 00:42:19,069 --> 00:42:22,129 ...we realize we aren't all alone in the dark.