1 00:00:31,200 --> 00:00:33,200 LEE: What's that about? Tell me. 2 00:00:33,267 --> 00:00:37,767 Because, you know, at the end of the day, you can say something 3 00:00:37,834 --> 00:00:41,133 and then it doesn't mean that you can't ever change your mind. 4 00:00:41,200 --> 00:00:43,701 It's not me that's changing my mind, it's you that's changing your mind. 5 00:00:43,767 --> 00:00:45,701 -You always do. -Fine! But what's wrong with that? 6 00:00:45,767 --> 00:00:49,567 GARETH: Yeah, I feel sorry for Dawn and Lee. 7 00:00:49,634 --> 00:00:52,234 If they have to call off the wedding 8 00:00:52,300 --> 00:00:55,267 then, sure, it'll be upsetting now, 9 00:00:55,334 --> 00:00:58,167 but in the end, it's for the best. 10 00:00:58,234 --> 00:01:00,133 The thing about long-term marriage 11 00:01:00,200 --> 00:01:03,601 is that inevitably, the sex suffers. 12 00:01:03,667 --> 00:01:07,634 You constantly have to find new and erotic ways 13 00:01:07,701 --> 00:01:09,434 of spicing things up in the bedroom. 14 00:01:11,067 --> 00:01:13,267 It's a gift and a training. 15 00:01:13,334 --> 00:01:15,133 And I mean, you can either... 16 00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:17,434 It's like I was already good at it before I was trained in it, 17 00:01:17,500 --> 00:01:21,734 and now I'm trained in it I'm better than the people who were just trained... 18 00:01:21,801 --> 00:01:25,033 DAVID: Today's our staff training. 19 00:01:26,100 --> 00:01:28,400 I do a couple a year. 20 00:01:28,467 --> 00:01:31,701 This is Rowan, our facilitator for the day. 21 00:01:31,767 --> 00:01:34,500 It's good to get in an outsider now and again. 22 00:01:34,567 --> 00:01:37,534 It helps to keep them sort of interested, you know. 23 00:01:37,601 --> 00:01:40,834 And it's what I trained in. I have an MBA from Bradford. 24 00:01:40,901 --> 00:01:44,467 I'm trained in it as well. I could have done this myself. 25 00:01:44,534 --> 00:01:47,267 But let me tell you what today is all about. 26 00:01:47,334 --> 00:01:50,667 -I can do that. -Well, it's my...thing. 27 00:01:50,734 --> 00:01:53,300 It's about customer care, really. 28 00:01:53,367 --> 00:01:56,033 Investment in people, i.e. the staff. 29 00:01:56,100 --> 00:01:59,500 Letting them know that they are our most important commodity. 30 00:01:59,567 --> 00:02:02,534 And if they've got a problem, it's my problem. 31 00:02:03,601 --> 00:02:05,267 Uh... 32 00:02:07,901 --> 00:02:12,000 It's like if you're cleaning a floor and you're up against it, 33 00:02:12,067 --> 00:02:16,767 then come to me and I'll help us clean our floor together. 34 00:02:16,834 --> 00:02:18,634 So... 35 00:02:18,701 --> 00:02:20,667 Not literally. 36 00:02:27,734 --> 00:02:29,400 See you in there. 37 00:02:31,801 --> 00:02:33,734 I'm really sorry. 38 00:02:35,534 --> 00:02:38,701 Things will be okay between you and Lee, you know, 39 00:02:38,767 --> 00:02:42,367 because you and Lee are going to be together and he knows that, 40 00:02:42,434 --> 00:02:45,234 and if he doesn't appreciate that, then he's mad. 41 00:02:45,300 --> 00:02:49,334 And if he... I tell you, if he doesn't appreciate it, I'll marry you. You know? 42 00:02:53,334 --> 00:02:56,200 (IN MONOTONE) Hello. You're through to Keith. 43 00:02:56,267 --> 00:02:59,934 I will be at training all day today. 44 00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:04,500 Please call me or leave a message and I will call you tomorrow. 45 00:03:04,567 --> 00:03:06,300 -You're so lovely. -No, I'm not lovely. 46 00:03:06,367 --> 00:03:08,500 -You are. -No, you are. 47 00:03:09,901 --> 00:03:11,667 -I'm snotty. -You're snotty and lovely. 48 00:03:11,734 --> 00:03:13,601 I'd marry your snot. 49 00:03:13,667 --> 00:03:15,300 -All right? -All right, mate? 50 00:03:15,367 --> 00:03:16,801 -What's going on? -Nothing, it's fine. 51 00:03:16,868 --> 00:03:19,901 You're upset. About Lee, is it? 52 00:03:19,968 --> 00:03:21,767 Hey, don't worry, all right? 53 00:03:21,834 --> 00:03:23,601 'Cause you know Monkey Alan down in the warehouse? 54 00:03:23,667 --> 00:03:26,234 He fancies you even if no one else does. So... 55 00:03:28,801 --> 00:03:30,167 (SNIFFS) 56 00:03:36,968 --> 00:03:39,701 What was that? 57 00:03:39,767 --> 00:03:41,567 Just can't say anything when they're like that, can you? 58 00:03:41,634 --> 00:03:45,567 No. No, you can't. You can't. I was doing okay. 59 00:03:45,634 --> 00:03:48,234 What were you doing with the Monkey Alan business? 60 00:03:48,300 --> 00:03:50,234 Well, he fancies her. I'm just saying. 61 00:03:50,300 --> 00:03:53,167 She didn't need to know that, mate. It's Monkey Alan. Even the name... 62 00:03:53,234 --> 00:03:55,701 I don't know who Monkey Alan is, I'm betting that Monkey Alan... 63 00:03:55,767 --> 00:03:58,500 -He's a little bloke. -I don't need to know. 64 00:03:58,567 --> 00:04:00,601 Go away, please. 65 00:04:00,667 --> 00:04:01,968 Go over there. 66 00:04:08,734 --> 00:04:10,234 My name's Rowan. 67 00:04:10,300 --> 00:04:11,701 And I'm going to be leading us through today's sessions. 68 00:04:11,767 --> 00:04:13,567 Under me. Go on. 69 00:04:13,634 --> 00:04:15,801 Well, as David says, actually has briefed me, says that 70 00:04:15,868 --> 00:04:17,734 a lot of what we're covering I think you'll be familiar with. 71 00:04:17,801 --> 00:04:19,934 But it's not necessarily a bad idea to recap anyway, 72 00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:23,500 and I hope that a few new ideas will be thrown into the pan as well. 73 00:04:23,567 --> 00:04:27,033 We're going to start by watching a video, so a nice and gentle start. 74 00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:28,667 It's a bit cheesy and a bit '80s, 75 00:04:28,734 --> 00:04:33,234 but I think a lot of the ideas are still pretty valid. Okay? 76 00:04:33,300 --> 00:04:35,601 A good idea is a good idea forever. 77 00:04:36,701 --> 00:04:38,100 Yeah. Okay. 78 00:04:39,067 --> 00:04:40,300 Philosophy. 79 00:04:40,367 --> 00:04:42,434 (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) 80 00:04:59,701 --> 00:05:02,300 Hi. 81 00:05:02,367 --> 00:05:06,634 What's the single most important thing to your business? 82 00:05:06,701 --> 00:05:10,133 -Staff. -That's right. The customer. 83 00:05:10,200 --> 00:05:11,667 Mmm. Come at it from a different angle. 84 00:05:11,734 --> 00:05:15,100 These are your profits for this year. 85 00:05:16,601 --> 00:05:21,400 And this is what you're doing to those profits 86 00:05:21,601 --> 00:05:24,534 if you underestimate the value of customer care. 87 00:05:26,834 --> 00:05:28,801 That's not real money. 88 00:05:28,868 --> 00:05:31,500 -Do you know why? -TIM: 'Cause he'd be mad to burn it. 89 00:05:31,567 --> 00:05:34,701 No. 'Cause it's illegal to destroy or burn anything 90 00:05:34,767 --> 00:05:37,000 containing the Queen's image of the realm... 91 00:05:37,067 --> 00:05:40,534 -Can we just watch the video? -...on it. Yeah. That's true. 92 00:05:40,601 --> 00:05:43,801 Statistics show that if you're treated well as a customer, 93 00:05:43,868 --> 00:05:45,534 you'll tell five people. 94 00:05:45,601 --> 00:05:47,901 If you're treated badly, you'll tell nine. 95 00:05:49,634 --> 00:05:52,434 -So can you set fire to a postage stamp? -No. 96 00:05:52,500 --> 00:05:56,400 In fact, a postage stamp is legal tender. 97 00:05:56,467 --> 00:05:59,801 A bus driver would have to accept that as currency. 98 00:05:59,868 --> 00:06:02,367 -Yeah, that'd happen. -Well, if he doesn't, report him. 99 00:06:02,434 --> 00:06:04,400 Yeah, I'll report him when I'm walking home. 100 00:06:04,467 --> 00:06:06,767 You can get a taxi if you've got enough stamps. 101 00:06:06,834 --> 00:06:10,667 -Or cash them in at a post office. -Shouldn't have to. 102 00:06:10,734 --> 00:06:12,667 Shouldn't have to. 103 00:06:13,500 --> 00:06:15,534 Here's a typical office. 104 00:06:15,601 --> 00:06:18,200 Yeah? Yeah. Awful, isn't it? 105 00:06:18,267 --> 00:06:20,934 Oh, yeah? Oh, really? You know, I said to him... 106 00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:22,934 Excuse me. I am in a hurry. 107 00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:26,100 I'm on the phone. God, aren't some people rude? 108 00:06:26,167 --> 00:06:29,734 I must tell you about George. It all started about a year ago... 109 00:06:29,801 --> 00:06:33,601 Well done. That customer won't be bothering you again. 110 00:06:33,667 --> 00:06:35,400 Ever. 111 00:06:35,467 --> 00:06:37,367 Let's see what should have happened. 112 00:06:37,434 --> 00:06:40,234 Yeah? Yeah. Awful, isn't it? 113 00:06:40,300 --> 00:06:43,234 Oh, yeah? Oh, really? You know and I said to him... 114 00:06:43,300 --> 00:06:46,500 Oh, I'm sorry, sir. I'll be with you in one moment. 115 00:06:46,567 --> 00:06:49,267 Sorry, Jean. I'm going to have to go. I have a customer. 116 00:06:49,334 --> 00:06:53,133 I'll call you back at a more convenient time. 117 00:06:53,200 --> 00:06:56,267 All she had to do was acknowledge the customer's presence 118 00:06:56,334 --> 00:06:58,534 and end her personal call as quickly as possible. 119 00:07:02,434 --> 00:07:05,467 This is what we call the Customer Care Tree. 120 00:07:08,067 --> 00:07:10,734 So, your prescription will be ready on Friday, madam. 121 00:07:10,801 --> 00:07:13,234 Fine. See you Tuesday. 122 00:07:15,734 --> 00:07:18,267 So if you've put together a crack team, 123 00:07:18,334 --> 00:07:21,901 don't let your business get taken hostage by complacency. 124 00:07:21,968 --> 00:07:25,067 Make your motto "Who cares wins". 125 00:07:25,133 --> 00:07:28,100 Hey, I know you. Can I have your autograph? 126 00:07:28,167 --> 00:07:29,701 Of course you can. 127 00:07:29,767 --> 00:07:31,968 Thank you, Mr Noakes. 128 00:07:35,067 --> 00:07:36,901 Very good. Very good. 129 00:07:36,968 --> 00:07:39,734 Okay, then. Right. That's that. What are we going to... 130 00:07:39,801 --> 00:07:41,734 -John Noakes. -Yeah. 131 00:07:41,801 --> 00:07:43,167 They worked together on Blue Peter. That's what the reference was. 132 00:07:43,234 --> 00:07:46,167 -Can I...? -She was short-sighted. 133 00:07:46,234 --> 00:07:50,200 Okay. Right. Well, you've all seen the video. 134 00:07:50,267 --> 00:07:52,701 Now it's time for the dreaded role play. 135 00:07:52,767 --> 00:07:55,033 We'll kick off with your leader, David Brent. 136 00:07:55,100 --> 00:07:58,234 David, if you'd like to come up here. Quick round of applause for David. 137 00:07:58,300 --> 00:08:00,834 -(WEAK APPLAUSE) -No, no, no. 138 00:08:00,901 --> 00:08:02,567 I'm cheating, really. I have done this before. 139 00:08:02,634 --> 00:08:05,434 Oh, good. That should make it a lot easier for us. 140 00:08:05,500 --> 00:08:08,634 -Okay, nice and simple to start with. -Hard as you like. 141 00:08:08,701 --> 00:08:10,801 Well, let's just kick off with something nice and easy, okay? 142 00:08:10,868 --> 00:08:14,901 I want us to play out a scenario that highlights customer care. 143 00:08:14,968 --> 00:08:17,400 -Okay. -All of you have to deal with people... 144 00:08:17,467 --> 00:08:19,434 -All the time. -...and it's always possible 145 00:08:19,500 --> 00:08:21,234 -to improve your people skills. -Yeah. 146 00:08:21,300 --> 00:08:24,234 Right. In this scenario, we'll start with something nice and easy. 147 00:08:24,300 --> 00:08:26,901 I'm going to play... And this will be the wrong way to do it. 148 00:08:26,968 --> 00:08:30,534 I'm gonna play a very bad hotel manager who just doesn't care. 149 00:08:30,601 --> 00:08:32,934 Sorry, if it's a Basil Fawlty-type character, 150 00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:35,868 they'll tell you, maybe I should do it, just for the comedy. 151 00:08:35,934 --> 00:08:38,767 Yeah, well, let me just play it now just to kick things off, okay? 152 00:08:38,834 --> 00:08:40,500 I'll probably bring something to this role anyway, so... 153 00:08:40,567 --> 00:08:42,534 Right. You've got a complaint. 154 00:08:42,601 --> 00:08:45,601 You come and complain and I'll show you the wrong way to handle it. 155 00:08:45,667 --> 00:08:48,667 This will be the wrong way. Right? So, off we go. 156 00:08:51,367 --> 00:08:54,000 -Sorry. What's the complaint? -Just make it up. 157 00:08:54,067 --> 00:08:58,701 Anything. Because there's no right or wrong thing in this scenario. 158 00:08:58,767 --> 00:09:01,000 Then we'll tell you the right thing afterwards, so... 159 00:09:01,067 --> 00:09:02,634 -You complain. -Right. 160 00:09:02,701 --> 00:09:04,667 Okay. Okay. 161 00:09:04,734 --> 00:09:06,801 -I'd like to make a complaint, please. -I don't care. 162 00:09:08,434 --> 00:09:10,234 Well, I am staying in the hotel... 163 00:09:10,300 --> 00:09:11,734 I don't care. It's not my shift. 164 00:09:11,801 --> 00:09:13,334 Well, you're an ambassador for the hotel. 165 00:09:13,400 --> 00:09:15,000 -I don't care. -I think you'll care when I tell you 166 00:09:15,067 --> 00:09:18,434 what the complaint is. I think there's been a rape up there! 167 00:09:26,567 --> 00:09:31,500 I've got his attention. Get their attention. Okay? 168 00:09:31,567 --> 00:09:35,434 -Right. So some interesting points. -Very interesting points. 169 00:09:35,500 --> 00:09:37,500 It's not quite the point I was trying to make. 170 00:09:37,567 --> 00:09:39,100 Different points to be made. 171 00:09:39,167 --> 00:09:41,701 -I'm more interested in customer care. -So am I. 172 00:09:41,767 --> 00:09:43,667 -And the way that we would deal with... -I fazed you. 173 00:09:43,734 --> 00:09:46,934 Maybe, as I thought, I should play the hotel manager 'cause I'm used to that. 174 00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:50,834 I fazed you. But you have a go, see if you can faze me. Okay? 175 00:09:50,901 --> 00:09:54,133 Yeah. Right. Okay. Um... 176 00:09:54,200 --> 00:09:57,534 -Hello. I wish to make a complaint. -Not interested. 177 00:09:57,601 --> 00:09:59,400 -My room is an absolute disgrace. -Don't care. 178 00:09:59,467 --> 00:10:01,033 The bathroom doesn't appear to have been cleaned and... 179 00:10:01,100 --> 00:10:02,667 What room are you in? 180 00:10:02,734 --> 00:10:06,367 -362. -There is no 362 in this hotel. 181 00:10:06,434 --> 00:10:08,801 Sometimes the complaints will be false. 182 00:10:10,567 --> 00:10:12,868 Okay? Good. 183 00:10:19,234 --> 00:10:24,000 Today is really about all of you getting to know and trust each other. 184 00:10:24,067 --> 00:10:25,767 So, before the next exercise, 185 00:10:25,834 --> 00:10:27,601 what I want us to do is just spend a few minutes... 186 00:10:27,667 --> 00:10:29,534 (KNOCKING) 187 00:10:29,601 --> 00:10:32,000 Sorry. Can I have a quick word with Dawn? 188 00:10:32,067 --> 00:10:33,400 Dawn? 189 00:10:36,701 --> 00:10:40,300 What I want us to do is for everyone to tell me their name 190 00:10:40,367 --> 00:10:43,334 and their ultimate dream, their ultimate fantasy in life. 191 00:10:43,400 --> 00:10:45,667 I'll kick things off. My name's Rowan, 192 00:10:45,734 --> 00:10:49,534 and my dream is that I would love to have my own island. 193 00:10:49,601 --> 00:10:51,567 David. 194 00:10:51,634 --> 00:10:54,534 It depends what you mean by ultimate fantasy 195 00:10:54,601 --> 00:10:57,467 because time travel's actually impossible, 196 00:10:57,534 --> 00:10:58,601 so there'd be no point in wasting... 197 00:10:58,667 --> 00:11:00,067 Just interpret it any way you like. 198 00:11:00,133 --> 00:11:03,834 Well, if you're talking about anything that could 199 00:11:03,901 --> 00:11:07,667 or could not be possible, actually, 200 00:11:07,734 --> 00:11:11,500 anything that could be conceived of to happen or not 201 00:11:11,567 --> 00:11:14,934 within my realm, you know, 202 00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:17,834 then probably some sort of everlasting life. 203 00:11:17,901 --> 00:11:20,534 I don't mean it in sort of just a spiritual or religious sense, 204 00:11:20,601 --> 00:11:24,133 but I mean actually to experience the future 205 00:11:24,200 --> 00:11:27,167 and live, you know, on and on 206 00:11:27,234 --> 00:11:31,567 and on, you know, know what it's like to live forever. 207 00:11:31,634 --> 00:11:34,734 I think I'm starting to know what that's like. 208 00:11:34,801 --> 00:11:36,834 -No, I'm saying... -No, hang on. 209 00:11:36,901 --> 00:11:39,300 -You always have your say. -No, I don't always have my say. 210 00:11:39,367 --> 00:11:41,000 When do I have my say? 211 00:11:41,067 --> 00:11:43,701 I've been engaged to Lee for, um, 212 00:11:43,767 --> 00:11:46,267 God, about three years. 213 00:11:46,334 --> 00:11:49,500 He proposed on a Valentine's Day. 214 00:11:49,567 --> 00:11:51,467 Although he didn't do it face to face, 215 00:11:51,534 --> 00:11:55,534 he did it in one of the little Valentine's message bits in the paper. 216 00:11:55,601 --> 00:11:57,567 Um... 217 00:11:57,634 --> 00:12:01,167 I think he had to pay for it by the word because it just said, 218 00:12:01,234 --> 00:12:04,968 "Lee love Dawn. Marriage?" 219 00:12:07,033 --> 00:12:09,767 Which, you know, I like, 220 00:12:09,834 --> 00:12:15,167 'cause it's not often you get something that's both romantic and thrifty. 221 00:12:15,234 --> 00:12:17,634 And don't phone my mum again! 222 00:12:17,701 --> 00:12:20,400 -ROWAN: Uh, Dawn, do you want...? -Don't. 223 00:12:20,467 --> 00:12:21,500 Okay. 224 00:12:21,567 --> 00:12:23,634 Um... 225 00:12:23,701 --> 00:12:28,634 Gareth, a quick trust exercise. Ultimate fantasy? 226 00:12:28,701 --> 00:12:30,868 -Hmm? -We're just doing the ultimate fantasy. 227 00:12:30,934 --> 00:12:33,567 We're all doing it. 228 00:12:33,634 --> 00:12:37,601 Two lesbians, probably. Sisters. I'm just watching. 229 00:12:41,601 --> 00:12:43,801 Okay. Um... 230 00:12:43,868 --> 00:12:45,801 Tim? Do you have one? 231 00:12:45,868 --> 00:12:49,067 I never thought I'd say this, but can I hear more from Gareth, please? 232 00:12:54,934 --> 00:12:59,000 Okay. Well, this next exercise is all about 233 00:12:59,067 --> 00:13:00,634 motivation. 234 00:13:00,701 --> 00:13:03,167 And that's going to be a key word today, motivation. 235 00:13:03,234 --> 00:13:05,834 So... Keith? 236 00:13:05,901 --> 00:13:08,934 What would you say was your motivation for working here? 237 00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:10,968 -Being part of a team, I'd have thought. -Just let him answer. 238 00:13:11,033 --> 00:13:13,534 No, I'm saying. Probably what he'll say if you ask him. 239 00:13:13,601 --> 00:13:16,567 Well, I am asking him and I'd really like him to answer. 240 00:13:16,634 --> 00:13:18,567 -Do you want to answer him? -Thanks. 241 00:13:18,634 --> 00:13:20,601 -This job's just a stop-gap, really. -Wow. 242 00:13:20,667 --> 00:13:24,567 The job's not difficult. I don't take my work home with me. 243 00:13:24,634 --> 00:13:27,000 -It's pretty brainless. -Well, at your level, maybe. 244 00:13:27,067 --> 00:13:31,667 But ultimately, I want to play music, write music and play in a band. 245 00:13:31,734 --> 00:13:34,834 Good luck! Been there, done that, bought the T-shirt. Next! 246 00:13:34,901 --> 00:13:36,133 -Okay, Keith... -DAWN: You were in a band? 247 00:13:36,200 --> 00:13:37,901 -Like a rock band? -Yeah. 248 00:13:37,968 --> 00:13:41,167 -What were you called? -Foregone Conclusion. 249 00:13:41,234 --> 00:13:43,167 Look, David, I'm not absolutely sure this is really the right time... 250 00:13:43,234 --> 00:13:45,901 -Well, I've got to field the questions. -TIM: David. 251 00:13:45,968 --> 00:13:48,934 -What did you do in the group? -Singer-songwriter. 252 00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:53,534 Lyrics man, mainly, but you know, the music came easy as well, so... 253 00:13:53,601 --> 00:13:56,434 Okay. Right. So, are there any more questions for David? 254 00:13:56,500 --> 00:13:58,834 -No? Good. -You didn't give them a chance. 255 00:13:58,901 --> 00:14:02,601 -Did you want to say something? -Were you successful? 256 00:14:02,667 --> 00:14:05,534 Were we successful? I'll let you be the judge of that 257 00:14:05,601 --> 00:14:07,968 when I tell you that we were once supported 258 00:14:08,033 --> 00:14:13,167 by a little-known Scottish outfit called Texas. 259 00:14:13,234 --> 00:14:17,968 Yeah, and I get all this, "Oh, David, you're a brilliant singer-songwriter. 260 00:14:18,033 --> 00:14:23,133 "You're stuck in Slough while it's Texas that are off making all the money. 261 00:14:23,200 --> 00:14:25,000 "And they're rubbish compared to you." 262 00:14:25,067 --> 00:14:27,534 And I go, "Don't slag them off." 263 00:14:27,601 --> 00:14:31,667 I say, "I've been there, I've done that. That's behind me." 264 00:14:31,734 --> 00:14:33,067 And I respect... 265 00:14:33,133 --> 00:14:36,934 The thing is, we're both good in our own fields. 266 00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:42,267 I'm sure Texas couldn't run and manage a successful paper merchant's. 267 00:14:42,334 --> 00:14:44,434 I couldn't do what... 268 00:14:44,500 --> 00:14:46,334 Actually, I could do what they do, 269 00:14:46,400 --> 00:14:48,901 and I think they knew that even back then. 270 00:14:48,968 --> 00:14:51,467 Probably what spurred them on. 271 00:14:52,968 --> 00:14:55,367 (SOFT GUITAR STRUMMING) 272 00:15:03,934 --> 00:15:07,067 DAVID: I wrote this. I only play songs I've written myself. 273 00:15:07,133 --> 00:15:09,200 He went home to get it. 274 00:15:11,367 --> 00:15:14,767 275 00:15:14,834 --> 00:15:18,100 276 00:15:18,167 --> 00:15:21,367 277 00:15:21,434 --> 00:15:24,701 278 00:15:24,767 --> 00:15:28,100 279 00:15:28,167 --> 00:15:30,901 280 00:15:30,968 --> 00:15:34,200 281 00:15:34,267 --> 00:15:38,000 282 00:15:38,067 --> 00:15:40,300 Racial. So... 283 00:15:40,367 --> 00:15:44,701 284 00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:48,100 Good stuff. 285 00:15:49,934 --> 00:15:53,300 286 00:15:53,367 --> 00:15:56,667 287 00:15:56,734 --> 00:16:00,367 288 00:16:00,434 --> 00:16:03,534 289 00:16:03,601 --> 00:16:06,167 290 00:16:06,234 --> 00:16:10,267 -Everybody. - 291 00:16:10,334 --> 00:16:13,634 292 00:16:13,701 --> 00:16:16,267 293 00:16:16,334 --> 00:16:17,601 294 00:16:17,667 --> 00:16:18,934 She's not dead. 295 00:16:24,334 --> 00:16:27,267 296 00:16:27,334 --> 00:16:31,567 297 00:16:31,634 --> 00:16:35,000 298 00:16:35,067 --> 00:16:36,767 299 00:16:36,834 --> 00:16:39,567 300 00:16:39,634 --> 00:16:42,367 -What, you? -No. He's looking at a photograph. 301 00:16:42,434 --> 00:16:45,367 -Of you? -No. Of his girlfriend. 302 00:16:45,434 --> 00:16:47,334 -The video would have shown that. -Sorry. 303 00:16:47,400 --> 00:16:49,267 -He sounds a bit gay at the moment. -He's not gay. 304 00:16:49,334 --> 00:16:52,400 305 00:16:52,467 --> 00:16:55,434 306 00:16:55,500 --> 00:16:58,300 307 00:16:58,367 --> 00:16:59,767 (GARETH HARMONISING) 308 00:16:59,834 --> 00:17:03,000 309 00:17:03,067 --> 00:17:06,167 310 00:17:06,234 --> 00:17:08,801 311 00:17:08,868 --> 00:17:13,000 312 00:17:13,067 --> 00:17:17,934 313 00:17:18,133 --> 00:17:20,734 314 00:17:20,801 --> 00:17:24,100 315 00:17:24,167 --> 00:17:26,267 316 00:17:30,167 --> 00:17:32,567 317 00:17:32,634 --> 00:17:33,968 (APPLAUSE) 318 00:17:34,033 --> 00:17:36,834 MAN: That's brilliant, man. Really is. 319 00:17:36,901 --> 00:17:38,901 I'm trying to think of what other ones we used to do. 320 00:17:38,968 --> 00:17:41,767 -Right. That's lunch. -Okay. 321 00:17:41,834 --> 00:17:47,234 What in the name of jumping Jehoshaphat was that song about? 322 00:17:47,300 --> 00:17:49,868 I mean, what was that about, then? 323 00:17:49,934 --> 00:17:54,200 What's he doing? What's Warren doing telling people to say please? 324 00:17:54,267 --> 00:17:56,834 If they don't know, I'm sorry, you don't deserve a job. After you. 325 00:17:56,901 --> 00:17:58,734 Thank you. 326 00:17:58,801 --> 00:18:00,767 -You all right, then? -Yes, thank you. 327 00:18:00,834 --> 00:18:02,801 Good. 328 00:18:07,868 --> 00:18:09,834 You okay? 329 00:18:09,901 --> 00:18:12,601 Forget all about him, he's not worth it. 330 00:18:12,667 --> 00:18:15,367 I go through this sort of thing all the time. 331 00:18:15,434 --> 00:18:16,968 Although it's usually me who dumps them. 332 00:18:17,033 --> 00:18:19,801 He didn't... No one dumped anyone. It was just an argument. 333 00:18:19,868 --> 00:18:22,701 You should come out with me. I'll find you a new bloke. 334 00:18:22,767 --> 00:18:24,868 It was just an argument. 335 00:18:24,934 --> 00:18:27,100 Well, I'm just saying. 336 00:18:27,167 --> 00:18:29,367 Thanks. That's nice. 337 00:18:34,567 --> 00:18:36,067 You okay? 338 00:18:36,133 --> 00:18:38,067 -Yeah. -Sit down. 339 00:18:38,133 --> 00:18:40,367 Now, I don't want to pry, 340 00:18:40,434 --> 00:18:45,100 but I mean, I am aware of your personal problem, 341 00:18:45,167 --> 00:18:50,500 and I wouldn't be the boss or the man that I am 342 00:18:50,567 --> 00:18:54,634 if I didn't lend, you know, some words of encouragement. 343 00:18:54,701 --> 00:18:56,300 (STRUMMING GUITAR) So... 344 00:18:58,100 --> 00:19:00,868 This is something I wrote. I hope it helps. 345 00:19:00,934 --> 00:19:03,133 346 00:19:03,200 --> 00:19:06,234 347 00:19:06,300 --> 00:19:09,367 348 00:19:09,434 --> 00:19:12,434 349 00:19:12,500 --> 00:19:16,133 350 00:19:16,200 --> 00:19:19,100 351 00:19:19,167 --> 00:19:22,133 352 00:19:22,200 --> 00:19:25,667 353 00:19:27,300 --> 00:19:31,167 354 00:19:33,534 --> 00:19:34,734 355 00:19:34,801 --> 00:19:37,534 Was that originally about Princess Diana? 356 00:19:37,601 --> 00:19:40,334 Originally. But it fits perfectly, doesn't it? 357 00:19:41,200 --> 00:19:43,100 Not the car crash bit. 358 00:19:43,167 --> 00:19:44,634 Well... 359 00:19:44,701 --> 00:19:47,734 Your relationship with Lee is a bit like a car crash. 360 00:19:47,801 --> 00:19:49,734 In Paris? 361 00:19:49,801 --> 00:19:51,567 City of love. 362 00:19:53,534 --> 00:19:56,500 You're right. It fits perfectly. Thank you. 363 00:19:58,701 --> 00:20:02,100 364 00:20:02,167 --> 00:20:05,734 365 00:20:11,801 --> 00:20:13,534 -Being dumped is the perfect excuse... -I wasn't dumped. 366 00:20:13,601 --> 00:20:17,100 -...to do all the things you want to do. -I wasn't dumped. 367 00:20:17,167 --> 00:20:20,434 And actually, I have been thinking of leaving. 368 00:20:20,500 --> 00:20:21,934 Oh, I meant shagging... 369 00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:23,934 How long have you been thinking of leaving? 370 00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:25,801 -Who's leaving? -I am. 371 00:20:25,868 --> 00:20:28,234 Well, that's just stupid. You've got a job here for life. 372 00:20:28,300 --> 00:20:31,434 Yeah. Actually, I don't want to spend my life answering phones 373 00:20:31,500 --> 00:20:34,334 in some crappy sub-branch paper merchant's. 374 00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:37,868 Dawn, work hard, you could be answering those phones in Head Office 375 00:20:37,934 --> 00:20:39,601 or a better paper merchant's. 376 00:20:39,667 --> 00:20:41,467 Gareth, she doesn't want to waste her life in paper. 377 00:20:41,534 --> 00:20:43,400 Not a waste, actually, not a waste. 378 00:20:43,467 --> 00:20:45,133 Look at Geoff Lamp. 379 00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:48,167 42 years old, he's got his own Porsche. That's from paper. 380 00:20:48,234 --> 00:20:49,601 How long you been thinking about leaving? 381 00:20:56,400 --> 00:21:00,000 And are you going to lay down any of those tracks? 382 00:21:00,067 --> 00:21:02,400 Well, I've got a lot of 'em on demo anyway from the band days, 383 00:21:02,467 --> 00:21:05,400 but, you know, they're about 10 years old, so if I wanted to send them out 384 00:21:05,467 --> 00:21:08,667 I'd have to pretty much lay down some drum and bass shit on them. 385 00:21:08,734 --> 00:21:10,367 Like sample and shit. 386 00:21:10,434 --> 00:21:12,200 And if you take the band back on the road, 387 00:21:12,267 --> 00:21:13,801 are you going to need any help with that? 388 00:21:13,868 --> 00:21:16,267 -Look, I'm sorry to... -Hold on, man. What are you saying? 389 00:21:16,334 --> 00:21:18,801 You know, are you going to need a manager? 390 00:21:18,868 --> 00:21:21,634 Well, I'll probably manage myself, you know, 'cause... 391 00:21:21,701 --> 00:21:23,934 I could be your assistant manager. 392 00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:27,767 You could be assistant to the manager. Hold on, man. Shoot. 393 00:21:27,834 --> 00:21:30,200 Yeah, it's just we've got a lot to get through and no one's back. 394 00:21:30,267 --> 00:21:31,834 Yeah, I'm hearing you. Do you want to go in, 395 00:21:31,901 --> 00:21:33,400 get them over here 'cause Rowan wants to crack on with this. 396 00:21:33,467 --> 00:21:34,567 -Do you want me to discipline them? -Nah, 397 00:21:34,634 --> 00:21:37,667 just get them over here. Done. 398 00:21:39,467 --> 00:21:42,601 Imagine him in a band. Bald old git. 399 00:21:42,667 --> 00:21:45,367 The glasses would be stupid, so... 400 00:21:45,434 --> 00:21:47,500 What's the vibe in the second half? 401 00:21:47,567 --> 00:21:49,000 'Cause... 402 00:21:52,767 --> 00:21:56,434 Yeah. Not always for this company. I've worked for various... Hi. 403 00:21:56,500 --> 00:21:59,100 -Hi. -Various companies over the years. 404 00:21:59,167 --> 00:22:02,767 How did you get into doing this, then? How did you start? 405 00:22:02,834 --> 00:22:06,901 Doing what I do? There are lots of ways, really. 406 00:22:06,968 --> 00:22:09,167 Are you thinking of doing it? 407 00:22:09,234 --> 00:22:12,500 I wouldn't mind, actually. It looks like it is quite good fun. 408 00:22:12,567 --> 00:22:14,500 -Does it? -Yeah. It looks quite interesting. 409 00:22:16,634 --> 00:22:21,234 Right. This next exercise is all about forward planning 410 00:22:21,300 --> 00:22:23,033 and teamwork. 411 00:22:23,100 --> 00:22:25,734 I'm going to need to put you into pairs for this. 412 00:22:25,801 --> 00:22:28,834 So, um... Well, Gareth, if you can go with Tim. 413 00:22:28,901 --> 00:22:30,868 Oh, God! 414 00:22:30,934 --> 00:22:32,868 Yeah, all right, smart arse. 415 00:22:32,934 --> 00:22:34,200 I wouldn't want to be stuck with you in a situation, either. 416 00:22:34,267 --> 00:22:36,067 A situation? What...? 417 00:22:36,133 --> 00:22:38,667 Who would you rather be with on a desert island, then, Gareth, 418 00:22:38,734 --> 00:22:41,667 with some whittling wood and berries? 419 00:22:42,567 --> 00:22:44,234 Daley Thompson. 420 00:22:46,801 --> 00:22:49,868 Okay. Let me give you the problem. 421 00:22:49,934 --> 00:22:52,868 A farmer, not pictured, 422 00:22:52,934 --> 00:22:55,734 has a chicken, a bag of grain and a fox, 423 00:22:55,801 --> 00:22:58,033 and he needs to get them from one side of the river to the other. 424 00:22:58,100 --> 00:22:59,834 But, and here's the rub, 425 00:22:59,901 --> 00:23:03,534 his boat is only big enough to take one item at a time. 426 00:23:03,601 --> 00:23:07,100 So I want you to work out in what order he takes them across the river. 427 00:23:07,167 --> 00:23:10,067 -Remember... -Five minutes, okay? 428 00:23:10,133 --> 00:23:15,901 He can't take the fox first because then the chicken will eat the seed. 429 00:23:15,968 --> 00:23:18,834 You all right? 430 00:23:21,334 --> 00:23:23,467 Okay. He can't take the grain first 431 00:23:23,534 --> 00:23:25,801 because he can't leave the fox and the chicken together. 432 00:23:25,868 --> 00:23:28,400 The fox and the chicken together? Bloodbath. 433 00:23:28,467 --> 00:23:32,300 Yeah, I know. He can't leave the chicken with the grain. 434 00:23:32,367 --> 00:23:36,367 Er, hello? I'm a chicken. Thank you, Tim for leaving me with my favourite food. 435 00:23:36,434 --> 00:23:39,734 I was saying, Gareth, you can't do that. All right? 436 00:23:39,801 --> 00:23:43,367 How big is this chicken? Is it the same size as a bag of grain? 437 00:23:43,434 --> 00:23:45,701 -I don't know. Big chicken. -Yeah. How big? 438 00:23:45,767 --> 00:23:47,767 -Big. It's a super-chicken. -Hmm. 439 00:23:47,834 --> 00:23:49,801 What's the farmer doing with a fox? 440 00:23:49,868 --> 00:23:53,334 A fox is a farmer's worst enemy. He should drown the fox in the river. 441 00:23:53,400 --> 00:23:55,567 Gareth, it's a puzzle. It's just a puzzle. 442 00:23:55,634 --> 00:23:57,767 Yeah, well, it's stupid. It doesn't mean anything. 443 00:23:57,834 --> 00:23:59,601 What are we learning from this? 444 00:23:59,667 --> 00:24:03,234 It's not about learning, it's just a problem to be solved. 445 00:24:03,300 --> 00:24:05,634 -Put the grain on a wall. -There's not a wall. 446 00:24:05,701 --> 00:24:07,434 -There's always walls. -Not here, there isn't. 447 00:24:07,500 --> 00:24:11,434 What, there's just nothing? There's just a farm and a river? 448 00:24:11,500 --> 00:24:13,567 -Get his wife to help. -He ain't got a wife. 449 00:24:13,634 --> 00:24:16,367 -All farmers have wives. -Not this one, he's gay. 450 00:24:16,434 --> 00:24:19,968 Well, then he shouldn't be allowed near animals, should he? 451 00:24:20,033 --> 00:24:21,901 Then take the grain next. 452 00:24:22,100 --> 00:24:23,300 -Then the grain. -Yeah. 453 00:24:32,300 --> 00:24:34,400 He's got to take the chicken first 454 00:24:34,467 --> 00:24:37,434 so he can leave the fox with the grain. 455 00:24:37,500 --> 00:24:39,934 -Shall I tell them? -That's okay, I'll do it. 456 00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:43,868 -They're more receptive to me. -It's straightforward. Right, everybody. 457 00:24:43,934 --> 00:24:46,367 Here's the answer. 458 00:24:46,434 --> 00:24:50,200 First he takes the chicken across, leaving the fox with the grain. 459 00:24:50,267 --> 00:24:52,133 -Fine. -Then he comes back 460 00:24:52,200 --> 00:24:53,934 and takes the fox across, but he brings the chicken back with him. 461 00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:56,434 Then he takes the grain across, leaves it with the fox, 462 00:24:56,500 --> 00:24:59,367 and finally he comes back for the chicken. And he's done it. 463 00:24:59,434 --> 00:25:01,667 -Now, I'm sure you all got the answer... -Easy. 464 00:25:01,734 --> 00:25:03,701 Yeah, but you see, the important thing here 465 00:25:03,767 --> 00:25:05,834 is that you were all working as a team. 466 00:25:05,901 --> 00:25:07,934 Sorry. Gareth? 467 00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:09,968 Yeah. Some questions. 468 00:25:16,033 --> 00:25:18,701 I hope that what that exercise demonstrated was that it's vital 469 00:25:18,767 --> 00:25:21,667 -that every member of a team... -Follows a leader. 470 00:25:21,734 --> 00:25:24,901 Well, knows their place within that structure. 471 00:25:24,968 --> 00:25:28,334 -Some may be leaders... -He knows best, or she. 472 00:25:28,400 --> 00:25:29,968 Whoever's in charge 473 00:25:30,033 --> 00:25:32,234 -may be the person. -In a team of women, for example. 474 00:25:32,300 --> 00:25:34,400 It may be women or men, of course, 475 00:25:34,467 --> 00:25:35,868 but that somebody may be scoring the goals... 476 00:25:35,934 --> 00:25:38,033 DAVID: Can't stress that enough. 477 00:25:38,100 --> 00:25:39,634 ROWAN: No, of course. Absolutely. 478 00:25:39,701 --> 00:25:41,634 But it doesn't matter whether... You may not be the person 479 00:25:41,701 --> 00:25:43,000 ROWAN: who apparently... DAVID: Unconditional trust, 480 00:25:43,067 --> 00:25:45,033 is returned in leadership. 481 00:25:45,100 --> 00:25:50,267 It's important that you know your place and that you are supported by... 482 00:25:50,334 --> 00:25:53,033 -Maybe we should just move on... -Move on. 483 00:25:53,100 --> 00:25:55,667 -...at this stage to another exercise. -Okay. 484 00:25:55,734 --> 00:25:57,000 What about this one? 485 00:25:57,067 --> 00:26:01,434 What do we think might be the lesson here? 486 00:26:01,500 --> 00:26:02,701 Dogs? 487 00:26:02,767 --> 00:26:05,434 Say what you see, Gareth. 488 00:26:05,500 --> 00:26:08,133 -Give a dog a bone. -He's not Roy Walker, Gareth. 489 00:26:08,200 --> 00:26:10,167 All right, then, what is it? 490 00:26:10,234 --> 00:26:13,601 If we pull together in the same direction, it's better for all of us. 491 00:26:13,667 --> 00:26:15,334 Yeah, they could be fighting over them bones. 492 00:26:15,400 --> 00:26:17,334 They're not fighting, they're smiling. 493 00:26:17,400 --> 00:26:20,200 In the picture, maybe, but in reality... 494 00:26:22,400 --> 00:26:28,200 Look, the point here is that if the team is focused on its objectives 495 00:26:28,267 --> 00:26:30,100 and those of the individual members, 496 00:26:30,167 --> 00:26:32,901 then it's easier for everyone to achieve their goals. 497 00:26:32,968 --> 00:26:37,133 It's like the fable. You know the one where the dog's got a bone 498 00:26:37,200 --> 00:26:40,567 and he goes down to the lake to get a drink and he sees his reflection. 499 00:26:40,634 --> 00:26:43,200 And he goes, "That dog's got a better bone than mine. 500 00:26:43,267 --> 00:26:44,934 "I think I'll have his as well." 501 00:26:45,133 --> 00:26:47,601 And when he opens his mouth to get the bone that's a reflection, 502 00:26:47,667 --> 00:26:50,234 he drops the real bone and he loses both. 503 00:26:50,300 --> 00:26:53,500 And what's that got to do with this? 504 00:26:53,567 --> 00:26:56,634 It's what Gareth was saying about if we've got our bones, 505 00:26:56,701 --> 00:27:00,033 don't go for other people's bones, fight over them, because you'll lose your own. 506 00:27:00,100 --> 00:27:01,834 What does that mean? 507 00:27:03,267 --> 00:27:06,567 Ooh, don't you know? I thought it was... 508 00:27:06,634 --> 00:27:08,367 Bones. 509 00:27:08,434 --> 00:27:11,968 -I'm bored of this. I am so bored. -Yeah. So am I. 510 00:27:12,033 --> 00:27:13,968 No, sorry, I don't mean this. I mean everything. 511 00:27:14,033 --> 00:27:16,300 The job. I'm bored of the job. Sorry, Rowan, no disrespect. 512 00:27:16,367 --> 00:27:18,868 TIM: This is a waste of time. ROWAN: I know how you feel. 513 00:27:18,934 --> 00:27:20,901 MAN: Let's get on with this. Nearly finished now. 514 00:27:20,968 --> 00:27:24,534 I can't take any more of this nonsense. I can't take another boring call 515 00:27:24,601 --> 00:27:27,434 about Spa White index board at 230 a tonne, so... 516 00:27:27,500 --> 00:27:29,634 -260. -No, you're a twat, okay? Shut up. 517 00:27:29,701 --> 00:27:34,467 Shut up. I'll give you my... We'll work out my notice. 518 00:27:34,534 --> 00:27:36,701 -Right now, I'm going. Goodbye. -Tim, oh... 519 00:27:38,801 --> 00:27:40,167 He'll be fine. 520 00:27:41,968 --> 00:27:45,100 A waste of time. It was all a waste of time. 521 00:27:45,834 --> 00:27:48,901 Oh, see? Pressure. 522 00:27:49,133 --> 00:27:50,434 Not as easy as it looks. 523 00:27:50,500 --> 00:27:54,601 Sometimes the experience outweighs the... 524 00:27:54,667 --> 00:27:56,701 Sorry, David. Dawn. I was just wondering, 525 00:27:56,767 --> 00:28:00,067 now you've split up with Lee, would you like to come out for a drink with me? 526 00:28:01,801 --> 00:28:03,300 One... 527 00:28:03,367 --> 00:28:06,000 I haven't split up with him. 528 00:28:08,601 --> 00:28:13,000 No, I know. I meant as a friend. I did mean as a friend. 529 00:28:13,067 --> 00:28:15,901 Okay. See you later. Yeah. 530 00:28:25,868 --> 00:28:28,133 Go and get the guitar. 531 00:28:31,767 --> 00:28:32,767 DAVID: Ooh. 532 00:28:34,534 --> 00:28:36,868 I'll probably write a song about this one day. 533 00:28:36,934 --> 00:28:39,000 (STRUMMING GUITAR) 534 00:28:43,434 --> 00:28:48,534 DAVID: 535 00:28:48,601 --> 00:28:52,133 536 00:28:52,200 --> 00:28:54,167 537 00:28:54,234 --> 00:28:58,567 538 00:29:01,267 --> 00:29:06,000 We used to have a political reggae one called Equality Street. So... 539 00:29:08,334 --> 00:29:09,601 DAVID: Okay.