1
00:00:35,750 --> 00:00:37,708
- <i>Hello?</i>
- <i>Is it recording?</i>

2
00:00:37,833 --> 00:00:40,125
<i>Yes! It says, "Please, wait."</i>

3
00:00:41,625 --> 00:00:43,416
- <i>Okay.</i>
- <i>And it's started,</i>

4
00:00:43,541 --> 00:00:46,208
<i>because the red light is on</i>
<i>and it's recording.</i>

5
00:00:49,250 --> 00:00:55,000
THIS FILM IS THE CONVERSATION
I NEVER HAD WITH MY GRANDMOTHERS

6
00:00:56,000 --> 00:00:58,625
THE WOMEN WHO TOLD THEIR STORIES
PREFERRED ANONYMITY

7
00:00:58,750 --> 00:01:01,750
<i>Better like this,</i>
<i>so they don't recognise me,</i>

8
00:01:01,875 --> 00:01:03,458
<i>so I can talk freely.</i>

9
00:01:03,958 --> 00:01:07,166
<i>I didn't know</i>
<i>I was so shy around this topic.</i>

10
00:01:08,250 --> 00:01:13,000
<i>Imagine having sex at this age.</i>

11
00:01:13,125 --> 00:01:14,625
<i>Can you imagine?</i>

12
00:01:14,750 --> 00:01:17,500
<i>It would be like the first time,</i>
<i>I imagine.</i>

13
00:01:17,625 --> 00:01:20,500
<i>It's now closed.</i>
<i>Now, if I find myself an old man,</i>

14
00:01:20,625 --> 00:01:23,708
<i>it would be like putting</i>
<i>a marshmallow in a piggy bank.</i>

15
00:01:43,208 --> 00:01:46,291
Great.
Okay, let's freshen you up. Here.

16
00:01:48,500 --> 00:01:51,625
- How do you feel?
- Okay.

17
00:02:00,625 --> 00:02:02,125
Hey, guys.

18
00:02:03,625 --> 00:02:05,333
This way, please.

19
00:02:40,750 --> 00:02:44,375
Silence, please.
Let's go, guys. Everyone, ready to shoot.

20
00:02:44,500 --> 00:02:46,500
Come on, please.

21
00:02:49,500 --> 00:02:51,000
Let's go.

22
00:02:59,250 --> 00:03:00,833
This way, please.

23
00:03:42,375 --> 00:03:44,250
Okay, silence, please.

24
00:03:44,375 --> 00:03:47,708
Great, ready. Sound.

25
00:03:48,250 --> 00:03:50,125
Scene one, shot one, take one.

26
00:03:50,250 --> 00:03:51,833
- Camera?
- Set.

27
00:03:52,250 --> 00:03:53,333
Thank you.

28
00:03:55,500 --> 00:03:56,708
Action!

29
00:04:29,083 --> 00:04:30,750
<i>I'm a normal woman,</i>

30
00:04:30,875 --> 00:04:33,625
<i>full of dreams, of goals.</i>

31
00:04:33,750 --> 00:04:36,000
<i>Some fulfilled, others not.</i>

32
00:04:38,625 --> 00:04:41,083
<i>This year, I turn 71.</i>

33
00:04:41,208 --> 00:04:43,458
<i>They say I don't look it. Well...</i>

34
00:04:43,583 --> 00:04:45,625
<i>my body knows my age.</i>

35
00:04:51,375 --> 00:04:52,500
<i>Being a woman is lovely.</i>

36
00:04:52,625 --> 00:04:55,000
<i>I always thank God</i>
<i>for not having been born male.</i>

37
00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:57,708
<i>Being a woman is beautiful.</i>

38
00:04:59,125 --> 00:05:00,375
<i>But...</i>

39
00:05:00,500 --> 00:05:03,833
<i>there's also an ugly side to it -</i>
<i>you're very vulnerable.</i>

40
00:05:11,500 --> 00:05:15,666
<i>I spent some of my youth</i>
<i>growing up on my dad's farm.</i>

41
00:05:16,750 --> 00:05:20,125
<i>In a remote place.</i>
<i>No electricity, no water.</i>

42
00:05:21,750 --> 00:05:24,375
<i>Mum and I washed our clothes in a trough.</i>

43
00:05:24,500 --> 00:05:28,708
<i>We bathed</i>
<i>at least twice a day in the river.</i>

44
00:05:31,291 --> 00:05:34,375
<i>I grew up surrounded by pigs...</i>

45
00:05:34,500 --> 00:05:36,125
<i>and chickens.</i>

46
00:05:36,250 --> 00:05:40,625
<i>My mother had 300 pigs and 600 chickens.</i>

47
00:05:40,750 --> 00:05:43,583
<i>When one of them got injured,</i>
<i>we'd kill it,</i>

48
00:05:43,708 --> 00:05:45,875
<i>and everyone ate pork.</i>

49
00:05:56,375 --> 00:05:59,750
<i>The world was...wonderful.</i>

50
00:05:59,875 --> 00:06:03,875
<i>I thought everyone was good,</i>
<i>that everyone loved me.</i>

51
00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:08,500
<i>But I had to negotiate</i>
<i>certain things to be accepted,</i>

52
00:06:08,625 --> 00:06:10,500
<i>and that's when the "buts" began.</i>

53
00:06:11,833 --> 00:06:15,583
<i>But I was a very innocent,</i>
<i>very naive girl,</i>

54
00:06:19,750 --> 00:06:23,291
<i>And still today, after all these years,</i>

55
00:06:23,750 --> 00:06:27,541
<i>at times,</i>
<i>I turn into that little girl, you know?</i>

56
00:06:33,375 --> 00:06:37,125
<i>I'm not dependent</i>
<i>on anything nor anyone.</i>

57
00:06:39,208 --> 00:06:42,125
<i>I wanted to be loved</i>
<i>with sweetness and tenderness.</i>

58
00:06:42,250 --> 00:06:44,208
<i>I didn't achieve that when I was young.</i>

59
00:06:45,875 --> 00:06:48,875
<i>I wanted to be able to enjoy sex</i>
<i>like my sisters told me.</i>

60
00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:50,750
<i>It sounded so hot.</i>

61
00:06:50,875 --> 00:06:52,666
<i>But I couldn't.</i>

62
00:06:53,125 --> 00:06:56,750
<i>Another thing I wanted</i>
<i>were very big breasts...</i>

63
00:06:58,000 --> 00:07:00,208
<i>..but Nature had other plans.</i>

64
00:07:00,333 --> 00:07:03,208
<i>I didn't suffer for that</i>
<i>because they were small, but pretty.</i>

65
00:07:04,625 --> 00:07:06,208
<i>They're still pretty.</i>

66
00:07:15,625 --> 00:07:18,666
<i>I always lived with my husband...</i>

67
00:07:19,125 --> 00:07:20,750
<i>until he passed.</i>

68
00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:26,291
<i>He was very horny.</i>
<i>Too horny, in fact.</i>

69
00:07:34,250 --> 00:07:38,750
<i>I've been alone now</i>
<i>for about 11, 12 years,</i>

70
00:07:39,166 --> 00:07:41,125
<i>alone in the company of God.</i>

71
00:07:43,958 --> 00:07:46,000
<i>That makes you calm down.</i>

72
00:07:48,750 --> 00:07:52,875
<i>Unless a crazy man approaches me...</i>

73
00:07:53,291 --> 00:07:55,750
<i>..and wakes me up again.</i>

74
00:07:56,750 --> 00:08:00,416
<i>And I won't call anyone</i>
<i>to come and help me...</i>

75
00:08:02,125 --> 00:08:04,041
..<i>to put out the fire I have inside.</i>

76
00:08:07,875 --> 00:08:10,791
<i>A fireman!</i>
<i>I need a fireman!</i>

77
00:08:18,250 --> 00:08:20,500
<i>I can't have coffee</i>

78
00:08:20,625 --> 00:08:23,250
<i>Because coffee keeps me awake</i>

79
00:08:23,375 --> 00:08:27,750
<i>I can only have tea</i>
<i>because tea makes me sleepy</i>

80
00:08:27,875 --> 00:08:32,750
In fact, I had tea,
and it tasted so sweet

81
00:08:32,875 --> 00:08:34,750
I'd spend all day, I'd spend all day

82
00:08:34,875 --> 00:08:37,875
Having tea, having tea.

83
00:08:48,500 --> 00:08:53,208
<i>Loneliness was hard</i>
<i>because it meant facing up...</i>

84
00:08:53,333 --> 00:08:55,250
<i>to myself, to my shadow.</i>

85
00:09:08,750 --> 00:09:14,500
<i>I believe that,</i>
<i>if one is alive,</i>

86
00:09:14,625 --> 00:09:16,416
<i>one needs sex.</i>

87
00:09:17,750 --> 00:09:20,000
<i>But there's no-one around.</i>

88
00:09:57,125 --> 00:09:59,875
<i>We were ten when we met,</i>

89
00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:02,375
<i>and we fell in love with each other...</i>

90
00:10:03,041 --> 00:10:05,500
<i>..but neither told the other</i>
<i>that they were in love.</i>

91
00:10:08,250 --> 00:10:10,583
Mum, the boy next door
needs a cup of sugar.

92
00:10:11,750 --> 00:10:14,166
- You're Tere's son.
- Uh-huh.

93
00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:22,000
Is half a cup enough?

94
00:10:22,125 --> 00:10:24,625
<i>It was platonic love,</i>

95
00:10:24,750 --> 00:10:27,458
<i>and it lasted seven years.</i>

96
00:10:42,166 --> 00:10:47,000
<i>I can't have coffee</i>
<i>because coffee keeps me awake</i>

97
00:10:47,125 --> 00:10:49,333
<i>I can only have tea</i>

98
00:10:49,458 --> 00:10:52,000
<i>Because tea makes me sleepy</i>

99
00:10:52,125 --> 00:10:54,583
<i>The tea leaves,</i>

100
00:10:54,708 --> 00:10:57,250
<i>Such medicinal herbs</i>

101
00:10:57,375 --> 00:10:59,875
<i>I'd spend all day, I'd spend all day</i>

102
00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:02,125
<i>Having tea, having tea...</i>

103
00:11:14,166 --> 00:11:16,750
What a drag
that they didn't let us go, right?

104
00:11:16,875 --> 00:11:18,375
Yeah.

105
00:11:22,125 --> 00:11:24,541
<i>I remember</i>
<i>he gave me a piece of paper.</i>

106
00:11:24,666 --> 00:11:28,625
<i>Inside, there was a sweet</i>
<i>he'd been sucking...</i>

107
00:11:28,750 --> 00:11:30,166
- Hey, cousin!
- Mm.

108
00:11:30,291 --> 00:11:32,125
It smells really good.

109
00:11:32,250 --> 00:11:33,833
<i>That was like a test for our love.</i>

110
00:11:33,958 --> 00:11:37,208
<i>It was like a distance kiss,</i>
<i>a virtual kiss.</i>

111
00:11:37,333 --> 00:11:40,750
<i>If he had sucked the sweet,</i>
<i>and I had just sucked it,</i>

112
00:11:40,875 --> 00:11:43,875
<i>that was a kiss, an exchange of saliva.</i>

113
00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:47,375
- Hey, what's wrong?
- Oh, nothing.

114
00:11:47,500 --> 00:11:49,750
<i>And I held on</i>
<i>to that piece of paper very excitedly</i>

115
00:11:49,875 --> 00:11:51,708
<i>because I liked the boy.</i>

116
00:11:54,250 --> 00:11:55,666
No-one will find out.

117
00:11:59,833 --> 00:12:01,750
<i>And the note said</i>

118
00:12:01,875 --> 00:12:04,500
<i>if I wanted to</i>
<i>go on the Ferris wheel with him.</i>

119
00:12:04,625 --> 00:12:05,833
Coming!

120
00:12:07,583 --> 00:12:09,375
<i>I said, "Coming!" and ran out.</i>

121
00:12:11,750 --> 00:12:14,125
<i>And there was the boy,</i>
<i>happy and waiting for me.</i>

122
00:12:18,500 --> 00:12:21,125
<i>And we got on the Ferris wheel.</i>

123
00:12:21,250 --> 00:12:24,500
<i>It was very little,</i>
<i>but for us it was huge.</i>

124
00:12:26,000 --> 00:12:27,625
<i>And it was, "takatakataka,"</i>

125
00:12:27,750 --> 00:12:30,750
<i>because I didn't know</i>
<i>if it was operated manually.</i>

126
00:12:35,500 --> 00:12:38,000
<i>The man saw us,</i>

127
00:12:38,125 --> 00:12:40,625
<i>and did us a favour</i>
<i>by leaving us at the top.</i>

128
00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:45,000
<i>Oh, look, for me it was like...</i>

129
00:12:45,125 --> 00:12:47,333
<i>We held on to the other's little finger...</i>

130
00:12:47,958 --> 00:12:49,708
<i>and that was...</i>

131
00:12:50,041 --> 00:12:51,666
<i>a sign of love.</i>

132
00:12:54,500 --> 00:12:58,500
<i>I felt butterflies in my tummy</i>

133
00:12:58,625 --> 00:13:01,666
<i>and heat around my ears, and...</i>

134
00:13:05,666 --> 00:13:08,500
<i>When I looked, oh Jesus!</i>

135
00:13:08,625 --> 00:13:10,375
<i>There was no way out,</i>

136
00:13:10,500 --> 00:13:13,875
<i>because as the wheel reached the bottom,</i>
<i>my mother was there, too.</i>

137
00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:17,333
- <i>It was mathematical.</i>
- Get down from there!

138
00:13:17,458 --> 00:13:20,541
<i>The boy,</i>
<i>like a proper gentleman, disappeared.</i>

139
00:13:20,666 --> 00:13:22,750
<i>Didn't even say goodbye, and he was off.</i>

140
00:13:24,750 --> 00:13:28,041
<i>To hit me, she had a self-made whip,</i>

141
00:13:28,166 --> 00:13:31,250
<i>like those used to hit horses.</i>

142
00:13:32,708 --> 00:13:34,875
<i>What a whip she had!</i>

143
00:14:06,583 --> 00:14:09,375
<i>No, it's not that I feel old...</i>

144
00:14:10,958 --> 00:14:15,000
<i>..but life starts putting the brakes...</i>

145
00:14:15,125 --> 00:14:16,625
<i>on things.</i>

146
00:14:29,750 --> 00:14:32,250
<i>Oh, the menopause</i>
<i>was difficult for me.</i>

147
00:14:34,375 --> 00:14:35,875
<i>The moods,</i>

148
00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:38,750
<i>the intolerance, the discomfort,</i>

149
00:14:38,875 --> 00:14:40,500
<i>the impatience.</i>

150
00:14:46,500 --> 00:14:49,541
<i>I didn't feel at all good</i>
<i>during the menopause.</i>

151
00:14:57,750 --> 00:14:59,958
<i>And my libido went down.</i>

152
00:15:01,500 --> 00:15:04,583
<i>Yes, I was ill at ease.</i>

153
00:15:07,750 --> 00:15:11,375
<i>And, obviously,</i>
<i>when you have less hormones,</i>

154
00:15:11,500 --> 00:15:16,125
<i>old age is near,</i>
<i>and you start to notice it.</i>

155
00:15:20,375 --> 00:15:24,125
<i>You face up to the reality</i>

156
00:15:24,250 --> 00:15:28,208
<i>that you're now over the hill.</i>

157
00:16:07,250 --> 00:16:10,875
<i>I've always told my eldest daughter,</i>
<i>Mamita, look, when I die,</i>

158
00:16:11,000 --> 00:16:14,500
<i>you need to be careful,</i>
<i>you have to paint my nails, please.</i>

159
00:16:14,625 --> 00:16:18,291
"Mamita, look, when I die,
you need to be careful..."

160
00:16:18,416 --> 00:16:22,125
<i>My hairdresser must be there.</i>

161
00:16:23,500 --> 00:16:27,750
<i>And I don't want to be cremated,</i>
<i>I want to be whole.</i>

162
00:16:27,875 --> 00:16:32,125
<i>And with earrings, please,</i>
<i>because if there's an afterlife,</i>

163
00:16:32,250 --> 00:16:34,541
<i>and we meet, you'll pay for this.</i>

164
00:16:42,208 --> 00:16:44,875
<i>When you're older...</i>

165
00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:49,000
<i>you start preparing</i>
<i>the journey towards your funeral.</i>

166
00:16:50,250 --> 00:16:53,875
<i>You become kinder when you're older,</i>

167
00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:55,875
<i>because if you stay as you are,</i>

168
00:16:56,000 --> 00:16:58,125
<i>not even flies will come to your funeral.</i>

169
00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:10,125
<i>I'd love to die like my grandmother.</i>

170
00:17:10,250 --> 00:17:15,000
<i>She sat in a rocking chair</i>
<i>in the living room of the old house,</i>

171
00:17:15,125 --> 00:17:18,833
<i>and she told my mum, "I fancy a Coke,"</i>

172
00:17:18,958 --> 00:17:20,833
<i>and Mum was surprised.</i>

173
00:17:20,958 --> 00:17:23,333
<i>She was 83.</i>

174
00:17:24,375 --> 00:17:26,166
<i>Mum gave her a glass of Coke,</i>

175
00:17:26,291 --> 00:17:28,000
<i>and she drank it.</i>

176
00:17:28,125 --> 00:17:30,000
<i>And while Mum went to get her some more,</i>

177
00:17:30,125 --> 00:17:33,875
<i>when she came back,</i>
<i>grandma was on the other side, sleeping.</i>

178
00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:35,416
<i>Right there, sitting down.</i>

179
00:17:35,541 --> 00:17:38,125
<i>That's what I'd like,</i>

180
00:17:38,250 --> 00:17:40,875
<i>if you're allowed to make wishes.</i>

181
00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:19,041
<i>Recently, I've been thinking...</i>

182
00:18:21,125 --> 00:18:22,708
<i>..that...</i>

183
00:18:23,375 --> 00:18:26,250
<i>solitude is a bit hard.</i>

184
00:18:39,791 --> 00:18:42,166
"Why don't we go out for some coffee?"

185
00:19:01,166 --> 00:19:03,500
"Why don't we go out for some coffee?"

186
00:19:03,625 --> 00:19:06,041
What for? I have coffee here at home.

187
00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:20,166
<i>The skin becomes...</i>

188
00:19:20,291 --> 00:19:22,083
<i>like an onion.</i>

189
00:19:22,208 --> 00:19:25,625
<i>It wrinkles, you get stains, warts.</i>

190
00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:29,875
<i>Your features change, your eyes close.</i>

191
00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:31,916
<i>And I had big eyes.</i>

192
00:19:55,333 --> 00:19:58,250
<i>I'm so old!</i>

193
00:20:02,500 --> 00:20:04,875
<i>No, no, it must be the light.</i>
<i>Of course it's the light!</i>

194
00:20:16,125 --> 00:20:18,250
<i>What I'm most afraid of</i>
<i>at this age</i>

195
00:20:18,375 --> 00:20:20,750
<i>is that something might happen</i>
<i>to me while I'm alone,</i>

196
00:20:20,875 --> 00:20:23,250
<i>and that, for some reason,</i>
<i>I can't call anyone,</i>

197
00:20:23,375 --> 00:20:26,125
<i>or I can't locate the people I'm calling,</i>

198
00:20:26,250 --> 00:20:28,625
<i>and I am all alone.</i>

199
00:20:28,750 --> 00:20:31,625
<i>It's one of the things I'm scared of.</i>

200
00:21:23,875 --> 00:21:25,291
<i>I'm alive,</i>

201
00:21:25,416 --> 00:21:27,041
- <i>and while I'm alive...</i>
- I'm alive...

202
00:21:27,166 --> 00:21:29,083
- <i>..I won't be an old lady.</i>
- ..and while I'm alive,

203
00:21:29,208 --> 00:21:31,375
I won't be an old lady.

204
00:21:31,500 --> 00:21:32,833
No!

205
00:21:51,291 --> 00:21:55,125
<i>Once, my nan sent me</i>
<i>to work in a house.</i>

206
00:21:55,250 --> 00:21:56,916
<i>I was 11.</i>

207
00:22:00,125 --> 00:22:04,791
<i>And when I was working,</i>
<i>I saw that they took the girls out.</i>

208
00:22:04,916 --> 00:22:07,791
<i>And the two remained,</i>
<i>and they called me into the bedroom.</i>

209
00:22:09,625 --> 00:22:11,750
<i>And they lay down...</i>

210
00:22:11,875 --> 00:22:15,625
<i>and they started having sex,</i>
<i>and I was watching.</i>

211
00:22:15,750 --> 00:22:17,541
<i>And I was nervous.</i>

212
00:22:31,250 --> 00:22:35,250
<i>Then, I was sent to wash him.</i>

213
00:22:35,375 --> 00:22:37,250
<i>She said,</i>
<i>"Wash him properly down there."</i>

214
00:22:37,375 --> 00:22:40,500
<i>And me, with my small hands,</i>
<i>I washed him there.</i>

215
00:23:03,250 --> 00:23:04,875
<i>I never told anyone.</i>

216
00:23:05,625 --> 00:23:09,458
<i>Not my mother, no-one.</i>
<i>No, I kept that to myself.</i>

217
00:23:16,250 --> 00:23:18,666
<i>And then, you keep quiet,</i>

218
00:23:18,791 --> 00:23:22,083
<i>because the aggressor always says...</i>

219
00:23:22,208 --> 00:23:24,583
<i>"You can't tell anyone,</i>
<i>because no-one will listen."</i>

220
00:23:24,708 --> 00:23:28,625
"They'll tell you
you're a bad little girl."

221
00:24:07,750 --> 00:24:10,583
<i>When prayers are said in church,</i>

222
00:24:10,708 --> 00:24:13,125
<i>like the Penitential Act and others,</i>

223
00:24:13,250 --> 00:24:14,583
<i>you have to say,</i>

224
00:24:14,708 --> 00:24:17,500
<i>"Through my fault, through my fault,</i>
<i>through my most grievous fault."</i>

225
00:24:17,625 --> 00:24:19,375
<i>You hit your chest.</i>

226
00:24:20,625 --> 00:24:24,125
<i>I don't know, afterwards, I was thinking,</i>

227
00:24:24,416 --> 00:24:26,000
<i>what am I guilty of?</i>

228
00:25:05,125 --> 00:25:08,375
<i>There are many kinds of roots,</i>
<i>but generally they go underground.</i>

229
00:25:08,500 --> 00:25:10,041
<i>Some are hidden...</i>

230
00:25:11,250 --> 00:25:13,625
<i>..and they extend,</i>

231
00:25:13,750 --> 00:25:18,458
<i>and the root of a tree</i>
<i>can move a house or lift a pavement.</i>

232
00:25:22,250 --> 00:25:24,250
<i>Guilt is like that.</i>

233
00:25:28,625 --> 00:25:32,375
<i>They taught us that</i>
<i>we were guilty of so many things.</i>

234
00:25:32,500 --> 00:25:35,458
<i>But they never taught us</i>
<i>to deal with that guilt.</i>

235
00:25:42,875 --> 00:25:47,125
<i>At my age,</i>
<i>I see images like in a projector</i>

236
00:25:47,250 --> 00:25:49,625
<i>where I asked for forgiveness</i>

237
00:25:49,750 --> 00:25:53,375
<i>because I was guilty of being beaten.</i>

238
00:25:53,500 --> 00:25:57,375
<i>It's the stupidest thing there is,</i>
<i>and the most illogical, in today's world.</i>

239
00:25:57,500 --> 00:26:00,750
<i>But, in that moment, I said, "Oh, God.</i>

240
00:26:00,875 --> 00:26:03,375
<i>"Yes, I did that thing, I did that other.</i>

241
00:26:03,500 --> 00:26:06,166
- <i>"Of course, that's why he got mad!"</i>
- That's why he got mad.

242
00:26:24,125 --> 00:26:25,875
<i>But if I go further,</i>

243
00:26:26,000 --> 00:26:29,375
<i>when I was assaulted in other ways,</i>
<i>since I was a little girl...</i>

244
00:26:36,583 --> 00:26:39,250
<i>..and I wanted to report the case...</i>

245
00:26:49,375 --> 00:26:51,500
<i>..the first thing they said to me was,</i>

246
00:26:51,833 --> 00:26:56,500
<i>"What were you doing to arouse</i>
<i>those desires in your cousin,</i>

247
00:26:56,625 --> 00:26:58,333
<i>"or in your uncle?"</i>

248
00:27:13,375 --> 00:27:15,583
<i>"You must have been very flirty."</i>

249
00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:52,750
<i>So, if they touched me,</i>
<i>if they sexually assaulted me...</i>

250
00:27:55,208 --> 00:27:57,250
<i>.."Well, you must have been to blame."</i>

251
00:27:57,375 --> 00:28:00,708
<i>So, "I'm prettier with my mouth shut,</i>
<i>I'm better off not talking."</i>

252
00:28:48,041 --> 00:28:50,625
<i>So, you keep it all to yourself...</i>

253
00:28:51,625 --> 00:28:54,500
<i>..and I said,</i>
<i>"Well, no, it was probably my fault,</i>

254
00:28:54,625 --> 00:28:57,458
<i>"I probably wore</i>
<i>a very short dress, that must be it."</i>

255
00:28:57,750 --> 00:28:58,958
<i>It must be, it must be.</i>

256
00:28:59,083 --> 00:29:02,500
<i>And you start to think things through...</i>
<i>and to think you're to blame.</i>

257
00:29:02,625 --> 00:29:04,541
<i>And, of course, it was my fault.</i>

258
00:29:31,583 --> 00:29:35,000
<i>I remember that, for many years,</i>

259
00:29:35,125 --> 00:29:40,125
<i>to avoid receiving dirty compliments,</i>

260
00:29:40,666 --> 00:29:44,000
<i>or worse still, like men touching me</i>
<i>and things like that,</i>

261
00:29:44,125 --> 00:29:47,625
<i>I had to avoid showing myself off.</i>

262
00:29:49,333 --> 00:29:52,375
<i>Not showing off meant</i>
<i>in the way I dressed,</i>

263
00:29:52,500 --> 00:29:54,583
<i>so I had to wear long dresses,</i>
<i>all buttoned-up,</i>

264
00:29:54,708 --> 00:29:57,500
<i>turtlenecks, things like that.</i>

265
00:29:57,625 --> 00:30:01,750
<i>So, I went around</i>
<i>with armour on, towards anyone...</i>

266
00:30:04,250 --> 00:30:06,625
<i>..who wanted to demonstrate some love.</i>

267
00:30:44,041 --> 00:30:46,000
<i>Still, when I remember,</i>

268
00:30:46,375 --> 00:30:48,500
<i>I resent that...</i>

269
00:30:48,625 --> 00:30:50,666
<i>why didn't they listen to me?</i>

270
00:30:53,583 --> 00:30:55,333
Why didn't you listen?

271
00:31:23,666 --> 00:31:25,583
<i>Time is like a bubble.</i>

272
00:31:27,625 --> 00:31:30,458
<i>Because time is not linear.</i>

273
00:31:32,625 --> 00:31:35,500
<i>The fact that memories exist...</i>

274
00:31:37,166 --> 00:31:41,041
<i>..means that,</i>
<i>every now and then, we turn...</i>

275
00:31:42,750 --> 00:31:44,750
<i>..or we move inside that bubble.</i>

276
00:31:44,875 --> 00:31:47,125
Mum, do you like it?

277
00:31:47,250 --> 00:31:49,500
What are you doing with that?
I've just ironed it.

278
00:31:49,625 --> 00:31:52,791
- <i>Time is like that.</i>
- Take off those shoes!

279
00:31:55,500 --> 00:31:57,375
<i>Personally,</i>
<i>what's happening is that</i>

280
00:31:57,500 --> 00:32:00,375
<i>although I don't have</i>
<i>that much to do now,</i>

281
00:32:00,500 --> 00:32:02,750
<i>I still don't have enough time.</i>

282
00:32:02,875 --> 00:32:05,250
<i>So, I imagine there are elements,</i>

283
00:32:05,375 --> 00:32:08,375
<i>like memories, that start to take up...</i>

284
00:32:08,500 --> 00:32:10,500
<i>more of my day,</i>

285
00:32:10,625 --> 00:32:12,416
<i>more of my time.</i>

286
00:32:19,375 --> 00:32:21,375
<i>On this walk down memory lane...</i>

287
00:32:22,750 --> 00:32:25,125
<i>..we can allow ourselves the luxury...</i>

288
00:32:25,250 --> 00:32:28,375
<i>to pull out the weeds from the sides.</i>

289
00:32:28,500 --> 00:32:30,875
It's ready, <i>tita,</i> let's go!

290
00:32:31,000 --> 00:32:33,375
<i>It doesn't mean</i>
<i>they won't come back at some point,</i>

291
00:32:33,500 --> 00:32:35,625
<i>but, at least...</i>

292
00:32:35,750 --> 00:32:37,708
<i>I feel like we can do it.</i>

293
00:32:42,875 --> 00:32:45,125
<i>I have the images of my life,</i>

294
00:32:45,250 --> 00:32:48,500
<i>and I see them with a certain nostalgia,</i>

295
00:32:48,625 --> 00:32:52,125
<i>or with a certain tenderness,</i>

296
00:32:52,250 --> 00:32:54,291
<i>or with understanding.</i>

297
00:32:55,750 --> 00:32:59,125
<i>And sometimes, I fall in the trap</i>

298
00:32:59,250 --> 00:33:01,333
<i>of wanting to...</i>

299
00:33:01,458 --> 00:33:03,750
<i>manipulate my memories, you know?</i>

300
00:33:06,000 --> 00:33:08,500
- Can I look now?
- No.

301
00:33:08,625 --> 00:33:13,500
<i>Sometimes,</i>
<i>when we focus on a memory</i>

302
00:33:13,625 --> 00:33:15,416
<i>that perhaps wasn't very nice...</i>

303
00:33:15,541 --> 00:33:17,000
- Can I look now?
- No.

304
00:33:17,125 --> 00:33:21,166
<i>..and we suddenly develop</i>
<i>a pain or discomfort.</i>

305
00:33:21,291 --> 00:33:23,916
- Mum, don't cheat.
- <i>And it's because of that,</i>

306
00:33:24,041 --> 00:33:26,333
<i>because the memory is deep-rooted...</i>

307
00:33:29,500 --> 00:33:31,125
<i>..and we transfer it to the body.</i>

308
00:33:31,250 --> 00:33:34,500
This way? Is it this way?

309
00:33:34,625 --> 00:33:36,875
<i>I've realised that through words,</i>

310
00:33:37,000 --> 00:33:39,625
<i>and by throwing them out...</i>

311
00:33:39,750 --> 00:33:41,750
<i>is like throwing out the trash.</i>

312
00:33:47,875 --> 00:33:50,541
<i>I've been learning this</i>
<i>little by little, you know?</i>

313
00:34:09,625 --> 00:34:12,375
No, thanks. I have food here at home.

314
00:34:12,500 --> 00:34:15,291
I won't go out with anyone just for food.

315
00:34:22,541 --> 00:34:25,208
<i>I love tin boxes!</i>

316
00:34:29,083 --> 00:34:31,708
<i>Being able to touch the material...</i>

317
00:34:32,291 --> 00:34:34,541
<i>is like pressing a button,</i>

318
00:34:34,666 --> 00:34:36,541
<i>and the recorder begins</i>

319
00:34:36,666 --> 00:34:38,208
<i>and tells you the story.</i>

320
00:34:44,875 --> 00:34:47,208
Honey, come and meet him!

321
00:34:47,875 --> 00:34:49,125
Hello.

322
00:34:51,250 --> 00:34:53,875
Come and see him!

323
00:34:54,000 --> 00:34:55,875
He's so tiny.

324
00:34:56,000 --> 00:34:58,375
- Hello, my love! How are you?
- Good!

325
00:34:58,500 --> 00:35:00,375
- Oh, he's so cute!
- Yes, yes.

326
00:35:00,500 --> 00:35:02,750
- Careful. I'll leave this.
- Can I hold him?

327
00:35:02,875 --> 00:35:04,583
- Okay.
- Can I hold him?

328
00:35:04,708 --> 00:35:09,250
Okay, but come and learn
how to do it, come and see.

329
00:35:09,375 --> 00:35:11,041
Look, here is your sister.

330
00:35:14,333 --> 00:35:16,625
<i>I remember</i>
<i>when my brother was born,</i>

331
00:35:16,750 --> 00:35:21,250
<i>my mum gave him to me and said,</i>
<i>"Hold him," as if he were a gift doll.</i>

332
00:35:21,375 --> 00:35:23,416
Look at the clothes I bought you.

333
00:35:24,500 --> 00:35:26,625
We'll try them on.

334
00:35:26,750 --> 00:35:30,750
<i>Mum did some drawings for me</i>
<i>and told me what men were like,</i>

335
00:35:30,875 --> 00:35:32,500
<i>what women were like.</i>

336
00:35:32,625 --> 00:35:34,500
<i>Or how babies are made.</i>

337
00:35:34,625 --> 00:35:37,625
No, what are you doing?
Why are you taking off his clothes?

338
00:35:37,750 --> 00:35:39,125
He'll catch a cold.

339
00:35:39,250 --> 00:35:41,250
<i>Only a little, and superficially.</i>

340
00:35:42,583 --> 00:35:46,250
<i>And the famous seed that Dad put into Mum,</i>

341
00:35:46,375 --> 00:35:48,375
<i>and I saw Mum like a plant pot.</i>

342
00:35:49,500 --> 00:35:51,250
- You can put them on him tomorrow.
- Please, Mum.

343
00:35:51,375 --> 00:35:54,625
Look, so you can learn.
Hold his head here

344
00:35:54,750 --> 00:35:57,500
and then your hands go here,
and carefully.

345
00:35:57,625 --> 00:35:59,958
<i>Nan never</i>
<i>talked about these topics.</i>

346
00:36:00,083 --> 00:36:01,875
<i>She was all about praying.</i>

347
00:36:02,000 --> 00:36:03,750
<i>And Adam and Eve and the original sin.</i>

348
00:36:03,875 --> 00:36:07,375
If you want, you can help me
bathe him tomorrow, so you can learn.

349
00:36:07,500 --> 00:36:09,625
Mum, I wanted him to try on
some clothes today.

350
00:36:09,750 --> 00:36:12,125
You can do it tomorrow, okay?
I'll be right back.

351
00:36:12,250 --> 00:36:13,375
Mum!

352
00:37:03,750 --> 00:37:06,041
<i>When I was a little girl,</i>

353
00:37:06,166 --> 00:37:08,166
<i>I hung around with some older girls.</i>

354
00:37:08,291 --> 00:37:11,000
<i>My mum told me to go with them</i>
<i>to cross the streets.</i>

355
00:37:14,000 --> 00:37:15,500
<i>They were chatting together.</i>

356
00:37:15,625 --> 00:37:18,750
<i>I was listening, but I didn't know,</i>
<i>and I said, "What's that?"</i>

357
00:37:18,875 --> 00:37:20,708
<i>I was very afraid, and so...</i>

358
00:37:20,833 --> 00:37:24,541
Mum, I don't want to hang out
with Flor's girls any more.

359
00:37:25,708 --> 00:37:28,500
- Why?
- No, I don't want to. They're bad girls.

360
00:37:28,625 --> 00:37:29,625
Why?

361
00:37:29,750 --> 00:37:33,333
Yes, they're very bad
because they spill blood,

362
00:37:33,458 --> 00:37:34,916
from where we pee.

363
00:37:37,000 --> 00:37:39,750
Go and wash your hands.
We're going to eat.

364
00:38:04,750 --> 00:38:08,666
<i>When my period came,</i>
<i>I was very afraid,</i>

365
00:38:08,791 --> 00:38:11,500
<i>because for some strange reason,</i>

366
00:38:11,625 --> 00:38:13,458
<i>I thought it was blue.</i>

367
00:38:17,000 --> 00:38:19,041
<i>I honestly thought I was going to die.</i>

368
00:38:26,833 --> 00:38:28,125
Silence!

369
00:38:29,250 --> 00:38:30,625
Hello, girls!

370
00:38:30,750 --> 00:38:33,291
I've come to talk to you
about a very special moment.

371
00:38:33,416 --> 00:38:35,875
The moment in which you go
from being girls to women

372
00:38:36,000 --> 00:38:38,000
and you become young ladies.

373
00:38:38,125 --> 00:38:40,875
<i>I remember that,</i>
<i>sometimes, my mum,</i>

374
00:38:41,000 --> 00:38:43,750
<i>because we didn't have Kotex,</i>

375
00:38:43,875 --> 00:38:47,750
<i>would take some gauze,</i>
<i>and we'd put some cotton wool,</i>

376
00:38:47,875 --> 00:38:50,666
<i>and we'd put it in between our legs.</i>

377
00:38:52,250 --> 00:38:56,250
<i>And there was nothing worse</i>
<i>when we went out in April</i>

378
00:38:56,375 --> 00:38:58,875
<i>to rehearse</i>
<i>for the Juan Santa María parade,</i>

379
00:38:59,000 --> 00:39:01,625
<i>with a very hot, very large uniform</i>

380
00:39:01,750 --> 00:39:03,791
<i>and black tights from the nun's school...</i>

381
00:39:04,958 --> 00:39:06,875
<i>..and I had to play the drum,</i>

382
00:39:07,000 --> 00:39:08,625
<i>and I couldn't even march</i>

383
00:39:08,750 --> 00:39:11,375
<i>because that wad</i>
<i>that I carried in between my legs</i>

384
00:39:11,500 --> 00:39:13,000
<i>was running everywhere.</i>

385
00:39:13,125 --> 00:39:15,000
<i>So, I arrived</i>

386
00:39:15,125 --> 00:39:18,875
<i>with a ball of cotton and gauze</i>
<i>stuck here on my back.</i>

387
00:39:19,000 --> 00:39:22,541
You can use it four or eight hours,
depending on the amount...

388
00:39:22,666 --> 00:39:25,416
Now, now, girls.

389
00:39:25,541 --> 00:39:27,875
Silence! Silence!

390
00:39:28,000 --> 00:39:30,750
Give me that! Give me that note!

391
00:39:40,666 --> 00:39:44,000
<i>Ah, we also had to wash cloths</i>
<i>in those days. Gross!</i>

392
00:39:49,125 --> 00:39:52,750
<i>You start to feel</i>
<i>like Tarzan's mum, you know?</i>

393
00:39:55,250 --> 00:39:59,750
<i>I never went through</i>
<i>major changes, I was always thin.</i>

394
00:39:59,875 --> 00:40:04,250
<i>I saw that my friends</i>
<i>all had growing breasts...</i>

395
00:40:04,750 --> 00:40:07,458
<i>and they were getting yelled</i>
<i>dirty things on the street.</i>

396
00:40:07,583 --> 00:40:10,916
<i>And you kind of hoped</i>
<i>someone said something to you, too.</i>

397
00:40:23,083 --> 00:40:25,500
<i>At school,</i>
<i>I remember the nuns talking to us...</i>

398
00:40:27,333 --> 00:40:30,541
<i>..but that was like an anatomy class.</i>

399
00:40:44,666 --> 00:40:46,500
<i>It was taboo. Sex was taboo.</i>

400
00:40:46,625 --> 00:40:50,125
<i>Not just for the nuns,</i>
<i>but for our parents, too.</i>

401
00:40:50,250 --> 00:40:51,875
Girls!

402
00:40:52,250 --> 00:40:56,250
<i>Actually, they never told us</i>
<i>what a relationship with a man was like.</i>

403
00:40:58,250 --> 00:41:01,000
<i>They just said random things...</i>

404
00:41:01,125 --> 00:41:03,875
- And here.
<i>- ..which meant,</i>

405
00:41:04,000 --> 00:41:06,250
<i>"Be careful with men!"</i>

406
00:41:06,375 --> 00:41:08,791
What are you laughing at?
Come on. What are you...?

407
00:41:08,916 --> 00:41:11,875
Silence, silence!

408
00:41:12,000 --> 00:41:14,375
<i>There was a lot of fear...</i>

409
00:41:15,833 --> 00:41:18,125
<i>..that the man would do something to you.</i>

410
00:41:22,000 --> 00:41:24,000
Who did you see, who did you see?

411
00:41:24,125 --> 00:41:25,875
- Who were they?
- Two boys.

412
00:41:26,000 --> 00:41:28,291
Very handsome!

413
00:41:28,416 --> 00:41:30,416
<i>I remember that Mum...</i>

414
00:41:32,500 --> 00:41:35,125
<i>..I was her only daughter, and she...</i>

415
00:41:35,500 --> 00:41:39,416
<i>had many expectations about her daughter.</i>

416
00:41:39,875 --> 00:41:42,250
<i>But I turned out quite different</i>
<i>to what she wanted.</i>

417
00:41:43,250 --> 00:41:46,250
<i>I swam, played baseball,</i>

418
00:41:46,375 --> 00:41:48,666
<i>and...she didn't like it.</i>

419
00:41:48,791 --> 00:41:51,375
Just like a man, you'll grow muscles.

420
00:41:51,500 --> 00:41:53,541
<i>That was her concern.</i>

421
00:42:00,708 --> 00:42:03,041
<i>It's been hard to unlearn...</i>

422
00:42:04,291 --> 00:42:06,041
<i>..what I was taught...</i>

423
00:42:06,875 --> 00:42:09,333
<i>with respect</i>
<i>to what it means to be a woman.</i>

424
00:42:10,458 --> 00:42:12,875
<i>It's been hard to learn...</i>

425
00:42:13,500 --> 00:42:16,500
<i>that I'm not a woman, I'm a person.</i>

426
00:42:16,625 --> 00:42:18,000
<i>In my heart,</i>

427
00:42:18,125 --> 00:42:21,750
<i>I'm not one gender or another,</i>
<i>I have no age,</i>

428
00:42:21,875 --> 00:42:24,833
<i>and I'm what we all are, deep down.</i>

429
00:42:25,416 --> 00:42:26,916
Pig!

430
00:42:27,500 --> 00:42:29,000
Bring the spoon to serve.

431
00:42:29,125 --> 00:42:31,750
<i>In those days,</i>
<i>you had to obey your parents,</i>

432
00:42:31,875 --> 00:42:34,500
<i>and there was no way out.</i>

433
00:42:34,625 --> 00:42:36,250
- That drawer.
- Coming!

434
00:42:36,375 --> 00:42:38,625
<i>But I did it in total rebellion.</i>

435
00:42:38,750 --> 00:42:40,750
<i>I did it with fury, angry.</i>

436
00:42:40,875 --> 00:42:43,875
- Bring the tray!
- Yes, I'm doing it.

437
00:42:46,875 --> 00:42:50,000
<i>To have fun the way I wanted</i>

438
00:42:50,125 --> 00:42:52,375
<i>had a very high price, which was guilt.</i>

439
00:43:01,125 --> 00:43:02,625
What's for dinner?

440
00:43:02,750 --> 00:43:05,416
Bites and bits for inquisitive kids.

441
00:43:06,750 --> 00:43:10,750
So, he can eat?
Go, I'll call you when it's ready.

442
00:43:10,875 --> 00:43:12,791
"So, he can eat?"

443
00:43:14,875 --> 00:43:17,625
I told you to go, now go.

444
00:43:17,750 --> 00:43:21,375
But why me? I always do it.
Why not my brothers?

445
00:43:21,500 --> 00:43:23,083
Bring me the rice!

446
00:43:28,000 --> 00:43:31,750
<i>Many people think that</i>
<i>being a woman means to look pretty,</i>

447
00:43:31,875 --> 00:43:34,166
<i>to wear make-up, and that's it.</i>

448
00:43:40,125 --> 00:43:43,375
<i>But no. For me,</i>
<i>being a woman means being...</i>

449
00:43:43,500 --> 00:43:44,916
<i>strong,</i>

450
00:43:45,041 --> 00:43:48,125
<i>sweet and passionate</i>

451
00:43:48,250 --> 00:43:50,083
<i>in everything one does.</i>

452
00:43:57,000 --> 00:43:59,750
<i>If you have sex,</i>

453
00:43:59,875 --> 00:44:03,875
<i>then you must be</i>
<i>the best lover under the sun.</i>

454
00:44:04,000 --> 00:44:05,625
Mm!

455
00:44:05,750 --> 00:44:08,625
<i>And the same if you're an enemy.</i>

456
00:44:08,750 --> 00:44:11,708
<i>Be a strong, powerful enemy.</i>

457
00:44:14,625 --> 00:44:19,375
<i>The dream of all the schoolgirls</i>
<i>was to get married and have kids.</i>

458
00:44:22,250 --> 00:44:25,250
When you get married,
make sure your husband likes you.

459
00:44:25,375 --> 00:44:29,875
<i>I used to draw my future husband</i>
<i>and my future children</i>

460
00:44:30,000 --> 00:44:31,666
<i>in my own way.</i>

461
00:44:32,375 --> 00:44:36,625
<i>I thought that if I planned them,</i>
<i>they'd come out just like I planned.</i>

462
00:44:37,750 --> 00:44:39,375
Would you like some more?

463
00:44:39,500 --> 00:44:41,500
No, my love, thank you.
Serve me.

464
00:44:41,625 --> 00:44:44,208
<i>I wanted my husband</i>
<i>to be a worker, a labourer.</i>

465
00:44:44,333 --> 00:44:46,333
<i>That's how I saw him.</i>

466
00:44:48,500 --> 00:44:51,125
<i>I imagined him going to work</i>
<i>and saying goodbye with a kiss.</i>

467
00:44:51,250 --> 00:44:54,041
<i>And he'd come back with dirty clothes,</i>
<i>and I'd wash them.</i>

468
00:44:56,000 --> 00:44:58,125
<i>And the kids were beautiful,</i>

469
00:44:58,250 --> 00:45:00,750
<i>all dressed-up, waiting for their dad.</i>

470
00:45:02,875 --> 00:45:04,458
<i>That's where the story ended.</i>

471
00:45:06,500 --> 00:45:08,875
- Come on!
- <i>I didn't follow</i>

472
00:45:09,000 --> 00:45:11,958
<i>with the part where night fell,</i>
<i>and you had to go to bed.</i>

473
00:45:12,083 --> 00:45:15,000
Listen to your mum!
Come on!

474
00:45:15,125 --> 00:45:17,125
No, wait. I haven't even finished eating.

475
00:45:18,250 --> 00:45:20,208
I still have some bites left.

476
00:45:31,666 --> 00:45:33,875
<i>It's very odd, because...</i>

477
00:45:34,000 --> 00:45:37,166
<i>my mum didn't tell me specific things.</i>

478
00:45:37,291 --> 00:45:40,250
<i>She bought me a book on sexuality,</i>
<i>and it's still here somewhere.</i>

479
00:45:40,375 --> 00:45:42,125
<i>She said, "Read this."</i>

480
00:45:52,291 --> 00:45:53,833
<i>It was all taboo.</i>

481
00:45:54,500 --> 00:45:57,916
<i>Sex was like a black hole.</i>

482
00:45:59,375 --> 00:46:01,625
<i>It didn't exist, but it swallowed you.</i>

483
00:46:07,500 --> 00:46:10,250
<i>And now I understand that</i>
<i>Mum didn't talk to me about those things,</i>

484
00:46:10,375 --> 00:46:15,458
<i>but rather she was</i>
<i>transmitting her fears to me.</i>

485
00:46:19,250 --> 00:46:21,500
That, too, please.

486
00:46:21,625 --> 00:46:25,625
<i>The whole story around sex</i>
<i>is a crime.</i>

487
00:46:28,750 --> 00:46:30,375
Careful!

488
00:46:33,000 --> 00:46:35,041
<i>We were very repressed,</i>

489
00:46:35,166 --> 00:46:36,791
<i>very repressed.</i>

490
00:46:38,625 --> 00:46:41,500
The girl on the right,
the lady in the centre.

491
00:46:41,625 --> 00:46:43,125
<i>I think even men,</i>

492
00:46:43,250 --> 00:46:47,125
<i>many men were very shy,</i>
<i>and, in fact, they didn't...</i>

493
00:46:47,250 --> 00:46:50,666
- Come closer, please.
- <i>..they didn't know how to behave</i>

494
00:46:50,791 --> 00:46:52,416
<i>with their girlfriends.</i>

495
00:46:52,916 --> 00:46:55,125
- This, too, madame?
- Yes, please.

496
00:47:10,875 --> 00:47:14,000
<i>When I was younger,</i>
<i>I had a lovely body</i>

497
00:47:14,125 --> 00:47:16,500
<i>and a small waist,</i>

498
00:47:16,625 --> 00:47:19,208
<i>and lovely legs.</i>

499
00:47:20,000 --> 00:47:24,125
<i>It was beautiful to experiment</i>

500
00:47:24,250 --> 00:47:25,791
<i>with the power of femininity</i>

501
00:47:25,916 --> 00:47:29,250
<i>and with the magnetism to attract.</i>

502
00:47:30,625 --> 00:47:32,333
Look, look, look.

503
00:47:42,125 --> 00:47:44,000
- What's that?
- It's all open.

504
00:47:44,125 --> 00:47:45,500
And full of hair.

505
00:47:45,625 --> 00:47:46,666
Is yours like that?

506
00:47:49,375 --> 00:47:53,750
<i>See the innocence</i>
<i>and the lack of information?</i>

507
00:47:53,875 --> 00:47:58,125
<i>I thought the word "cutis," skin,</i>
<i>was like clitoris.</i>

508
00:47:58,250 --> 00:48:01,416
<i>I thought the two words were related.</i>

509
00:48:10,375 --> 00:48:13,750
<i>For many years, we weren't told</i>

510
00:48:13,875 --> 00:48:18,875
<i>that women could feel desire, attraction.</i>

511
00:48:23,666 --> 00:48:26,000
<i>I would say, "Oh, oh!"</i>
<i>if I felt anything</i>

512
00:48:26,125 --> 00:48:28,500
<i>more than a heartbeat...</i>

513
00:48:28,625 --> 00:48:32,750
- Anything else?
- <i>..because surely I was sinning.</i>

514
00:48:42,291 --> 00:48:47,375
<i>Us women aren't able</i>
<i>to see a strong, young man,</i>

515
00:48:47,500 --> 00:48:49,750
<i>to talk to him and walk with him,</i>

516
00:48:49,875 --> 00:48:51,500
<i>without a precise goal,</i>

517
00:48:51,625 --> 00:48:53,250
<i>the goal to love him.</i>

518
00:48:53,375 --> 00:48:56,375
<i>A woman's true purpose...</i>

519
00:48:56,500 --> 00:48:58,750
<i>- is to love.</i>
<i>- Madame!</i>

520
00:48:58,875 --> 00:49:02,375
<i>And that's something</i>
<i>men don't always understand, Alberto.</i>

521
00:49:02,500 --> 00:49:05,875
<i>Is it true? Is that what you think?</i>

522
00:49:06,000 --> 00:49:08,875
<i>Is that true? Elvira!</i>

523
00:49:14,625 --> 00:49:16,625
<i>Don't think</i>
<i>that the fact you know my secret</i>

524
00:49:16,750 --> 00:49:18,625
<i>gives you any rights.</i>

525
00:49:18,750 --> 00:49:21,500
<i>You always had to hide,</i>
<i>go to the movies.</i>

526
00:49:22,875 --> 00:49:27,125
<i>At the movies, they turned the lights out,</i>
<i>so you could get away with more.</i>

527
00:49:27,250 --> 00:49:29,958
<i>Now is when</i>
<i>I most need your company.</i>

528
00:49:30,083 --> 00:49:31,833
<i>I don't get it!</i>

529
00:49:31,958 --> 00:49:36,000
<i>As you become a more interesting man,</i>
<i>you forget your friends.</i>

530
00:49:37,000 --> 00:49:40,500
<i>So, you discover...</i>

531
00:49:42,041 --> 00:49:44,875
<i>..passion, but with some fear, too...</i>

532
00:49:47,833 --> 00:49:49,916
<i>..because you felt many things.</i>

533
00:49:50,875 --> 00:49:52,625
<i>The shadows of the bodies</i>

534
00:49:52,750 --> 00:49:55,625
<i>that come together</i>
<i>with the shadows of the night.</i>

535
00:49:55,750 --> 00:49:59,625
<i>I remember being</i>
<i>just about to...</i>

536
00:49:59,750 --> 00:50:00,916
<i>to...</i>

537
00:50:01,791 --> 00:50:03,583
<i>And, wow, at the movies...</i>

538
00:50:19,375 --> 00:50:21,541
<i>The first fantasy I had</i>

539
00:50:22,000 --> 00:50:26,625
<i>was someone watching me</i>
<i>while I masturbated.</i>

540
00:50:30,083 --> 00:50:32,375
<i>Having someone watch</i>

541
00:50:32,708 --> 00:50:36,250
<i>and desire all the pleasure</i>
<i>they see in you.</i>

542
00:50:42,500 --> 00:50:43,875
<i>Feeling...</i>

543
00:50:45,500 --> 00:50:48,125
<i>..the excitement in the body...</i>

544
00:50:50,875 --> 00:50:54,041
<i>..up to a point of maximum intensity.</i>

545
00:50:55,833 --> 00:50:57,750
<i>You feel like you'll explode,</i>

546
00:50:57,875 --> 00:51:02,416
<i>but it keeps intensifying,</i>
<i>and you think you can't go any higher...</i>

547
00:51:09,791 --> 00:51:13,000
<i>..until you reach the climax where...</i>

548
00:51:14,333 --> 00:51:16,041
<i>..the world disappears.</i>

549
00:51:57,375 --> 00:51:59,708
Yes, yes to that.

550
00:51:59,833 --> 00:52:02,125
Coffee no, but "<i>guaro,"</i> drinks, yes.

551
00:52:05,125 --> 00:52:06,666
<i>I'm very punctual.</i>

552
00:52:07,875 --> 00:52:10,375
<i>I'll give you 10 minutes,</i>

553
00:52:10,500 --> 00:52:13,416
<i>in case of any mishaps, something that...</i>

554
00:52:43,458 --> 00:52:45,125
Here comes the couple!

555
00:52:56,541 --> 00:52:58,541
<i>I was very much in love</i>
<i>when I married.</i>

556
00:52:58,666 --> 00:53:01,791
<i>I thought I would touch the sky</i>
<i>with my hands.</i>

557
00:53:02,083 --> 00:53:03,333
Photo!

558
00:53:03,458 --> 00:53:06,375
<i>When I got married,</i>
<i>I had to get Dad to sign my permission</i>

559
00:53:06,500 --> 00:53:08,125
<i>for me to get married.</i>

560
00:53:17,083 --> 00:53:19,875
<i>My parents' generation</i>
<i>was very strict.</i>

561
00:53:20,000 --> 00:53:21,625
<i>I was a virgin when I got married.</i>

562
00:53:22,958 --> 00:53:24,708
<i>There wasn't a chance for anything.</i>

563
00:53:31,125 --> 00:53:35,291
<i>My first dance,</i>
<i>I danced it with the boy I married.</i>

564
00:53:36,375 --> 00:53:37,875
<i>My first boyfriend...</i>

565
00:53:38,750 --> 00:53:40,375
<i>my first dance.</i>

566
00:53:50,625 --> 00:53:52,666
Stop, Mum's watching.

567
00:53:57,000 --> 00:53:59,250
- How are you?
- Fine.

568
00:53:59,375 --> 00:54:02,416
He's had a bit too much to drink.

569
00:54:25,666 --> 00:54:28,750
<i>Any woman's Achilles' heel</i>
<i>is to be madly in love.</i>

570
00:54:41,375 --> 00:54:43,375
Oh, my God!

571
00:54:44,625 --> 00:54:47,875
<i>Once, I saw my dad fleetingly,</i>

572
00:54:48,000 --> 00:54:50,625
<i>half-naked, I don't know why.</i>

573
00:54:50,750 --> 00:54:52,708
<i>Dad covered himself quickly,</i>

574
00:54:52,833 --> 00:54:56,250
<i>but I fleetingly saw</i>
<i>a black thing full of hair.</i>

575
00:54:56,375 --> 00:54:58,458
Now there's no more surprise, right?

576
00:55:02,375 --> 00:55:05,416
<i>A naked man is a horrible thing!</i>

577
00:55:09,875 --> 00:55:12,250
It must hurt, so much hair in there.

578
00:55:16,416 --> 00:55:19,375
<i>That was my idea.</i>
<i>Imagine what an idiot I was.</i>

579
00:55:29,125 --> 00:55:32,083
<i>Neither of the two</i>
<i>knew how to do it.</i>

580
00:55:40,250 --> 00:55:42,500
<i>"What? This is different!"</i>

581
00:57:42,500 --> 00:57:45,375
<i>"That's odd, I didn't feel anything!</i>

582
00:57:45,500 --> 00:57:49,500
<i>"Are you sure</i>
<i>you did it right, in the right place?"</i>

583
00:57:49,625 --> 00:57:51,208
You didn't do it in the wrong place?

584
00:57:53,000 --> 00:57:55,000
I don't know, I don't think so.

585
00:57:55,125 --> 00:57:57,208
- Didn't it feel good?
- Oh, no, yes, yes, sure.

586
00:58:00,375 --> 00:58:02,458
<i>That, "Yes, sure,"</i>

587
00:58:02,583 --> 00:58:06,250
<i>continued until I was in my mid-30s..</i>

588
00:58:06,375 --> 00:58:09,916
<i>I had two kids,</i>
<i>and I didn't know what an orgasm was.</i>

589
00:58:40,625 --> 00:58:43,250
<i>My husband, very clearly,</i>

590
00:58:43,375 --> 00:58:45,666
<i>on our honeymoon, told me...</i>

591
00:58:47,625 --> 00:58:49,750
<i>..don't do this, don't do that.</i>

592
00:58:49,875 --> 00:58:51,500
<i>I don't like it that way.</i>

593
00:58:52,750 --> 00:58:55,375
<i>Here, the one who</i>
<i>has the initiative is me.</i>

594
00:58:55,500 --> 00:58:56,750
There's a stain here.

595
00:58:58,041 --> 00:58:59,916
<i>And I could say...</i>

596
00:59:00,041 --> 00:59:01,750
<i>with confidence...</i>

597
00:59:03,375 --> 00:59:07,708
<i>..that those were the lessons</i>
<i>his dad gave him explicitly.</i>

598
00:59:31,000 --> 00:59:35,125
<i>So, a married virgin</i>
<i>in a situation like this one,</i>

599
00:59:35,250 --> 00:59:38,375
<i>frankly, there was a lot of frustration.</i>

600
00:59:45,375 --> 00:59:47,625
<i>Not frustration</i>
<i>because I didn't know what it was,</i>

601
00:59:47,750 --> 00:59:51,125
<i>but frustration</i>
<i>because I knew what an orgasm was</i>

602
00:59:51,250 --> 00:59:54,916
<i>and I was able to have</i>
<i>as many orgasms as I wanted.</i>

603
00:59:59,125 --> 01:00:02,375
<i>The frustration was so strong</i>
<i>that I was pretty obsessed</i>

604
01:00:02,500 --> 01:00:05,125
<i>with the need for orgasms,</i>

605
01:00:05,250 --> 01:00:07,041
<i>and I gave them to myself.</i>

606
01:00:17,625 --> 01:00:21,000
<i>I remember</i>
<i>that I could masturbate</i>

607
01:00:21,125 --> 01:00:24,125
<i>and have seven orgasms,</i>
<i>and I couldn't stop because...</i>

608
01:00:24,250 --> 01:00:26,041
<i>That delight, you know?</i>

609
01:00:27,750 --> 01:00:30,958
<i>And for me, it was a part of my life,</i>

610
01:00:31,083 --> 01:00:32,750
<i>masturbation.</i>

611
01:00:32,875 --> 01:00:34,500
<i>Despite being married.</i>

612
01:00:54,458 --> 01:00:56,500
<i>I remember</i>
<i>sometimes making love,</i>

613
01:00:56,875 --> 01:01:00,250
<i>turning 'round</i>
<i>and masturbating next to him.</i>

614
01:01:19,500 --> 01:01:20,708
<i>We'd been...</i>

615
01:01:21,750 --> 01:01:24,500
<i>married for over two years,</i>

616
01:01:24,625 --> 01:01:27,833
<i>and suddenly, people asked me,</i>
<i>"So, what about kids?"</i>

617
01:01:27,958 --> 01:01:30,500
<i>And I didn't feel like I wanted kids.</i>

618
01:01:37,416 --> 01:01:42,375
<i>I was three months pregnant</i>
<i>when I stopped working,</i>

619
01:01:42,708 --> 01:01:46,333
<i>because my late husband</i>
<i>didn't want me to work anymore.</i>

620
01:01:48,916 --> 01:01:52,125
<i>I wanted to learn English,</i>
<i>and he didn't want me to learn English,</i>

621
01:01:52,250 --> 01:01:54,125
<i>he wanted me to learn how to cook.</i>

622
01:01:59,875 --> 01:02:01,458
- Going already?
- Yes.

623
01:02:05,708 --> 01:02:07,708
<i>When I got pregnant</i>
<i>for the first time,</i>

624
01:02:07,833 --> 01:02:12,750
<i>I didn't know what to do,</i>
<i>because my period was late, and I said,</i>

625
01:02:12,875 --> 01:02:14,875
<i>"That's odd, I haven't had my period,"</i>

626
01:02:15,000 --> 01:02:17,750
<i>and then my belly started growing</i>

627
01:02:17,875 --> 01:02:20,750
<i>and my breasts grew larger.</i>

628
01:02:21,125 --> 01:02:23,375
<i>I felt sick, I had nausea,</i>

629
01:02:23,500 --> 01:02:25,416
<i>I had cravings.</i>

630
01:02:26,666 --> 01:02:30,125
<i>I was never taught anything</i>
<i>about pregnancy or giving birth.</i>

631
01:02:30,250 --> 01:02:32,166
<i>I didn't know what was coming.</i>

632
01:02:38,875 --> 01:02:40,875
<i>The doctor said,</i>
<i>"What are you doing on the street?</i>

633
01:02:41,000 --> 01:02:43,833
<i>Go upstairs,</i>
<i>this baby's head is popping out."</i>

634
01:02:50,458 --> 01:02:52,875
<i>I always thought</i>
<i>I was going to have a boy.</i>

635
01:02:54,125 --> 01:02:57,375
<i>The old superstitious women</i>
<i>did the needle test,</i>

636
01:02:57,666 --> 01:03:01,125
<i>or they saw your belly and said,</i>
<i>"That's a boy belly."</i>

637
01:03:10,250 --> 01:03:12,333
<i>I saw the women</i>
<i>in the birthing rooms upstairs,</i>

638
01:03:12,458 --> 01:03:15,625
<i>clinging to the sides</i>
<i>of the bed and screaming,</i>

639
01:03:15,750 --> 01:03:17,500
<i>and the doctor would get angry at them.</i>

640
01:03:17,625 --> 01:03:20,250
<i>And I said, "At what time</i>
<i>am I supposed to start screaming?</i>

641
01:03:20,375 --> 01:03:22,000
Leave them open!

642
01:03:25,041 --> 01:03:27,791
- What do I do, doctor?
- Push hard.

643
01:03:29,375 --> 01:03:30,916
Push really hard.

644
01:03:32,125 --> 01:03:34,916
Push! Harder, harder! Harder!

645
01:03:41,583 --> 01:03:44,000
<i>And the baby slipped out.</i>

646
01:03:44,125 --> 01:03:45,875
<i>And I never, never, never screamed.</i>

647
01:03:46,000 --> 01:03:47,000
What is it?

648
01:03:47,875 --> 01:03:49,416
It's a girl.

649
01:03:50,083 --> 01:03:53,250
- You don't want it? Because I do.
- No, no. She's mine, she's mine!

650
01:04:04,666 --> 01:04:06,458
<i>It's an archaic fact,</i>

651
01:04:07,333 --> 01:04:09,583
<i>and yet, so heroic.</i>

652
01:04:12,791 --> 01:04:14,750
<i>In those days,</i>
<i>they gave you a prick,</i>

653
01:04:14,875 --> 01:04:17,125
<i>so you walked out of there all funny,</i>

654
01:04:17,250 --> 01:04:19,375
<i>but they brought me home,</i>

655
01:04:19,500 --> 01:04:23,625
<i>and I went out to my neighbours</i>
<i>with the baby all wrapped-up,</i>

656
01:04:23,750 --> 01:04:26,833
<i>to show them what I had done, what I had.</i>

657
01:04:35,000 --> 01:04:37,125
<i>And my life changed completely.</i>

658
01:04:37,250 --> 01:04:39,750
<i>You're not the same as you were.</i>

659
01:04:39,875 --> 01:04:43,416
<i>It's a before-and-after, a new life.</i>

660
01:05:07,125 --> 01:05:09,875
<i>I remember</i>
<i>having had an identity crisis.</i>

661
01:05:13,666 --> 01:05:17,375
<i>I was no longer the young woman,</i>
<i>I was no longer the wife,</i>

662
01:05:17,500 --> 01:05:21,625
<i>I was no longer anything but</i>
<i>a mother with her baby.</i>

663
01:05:25,375 --> 01:05:29,291
<i>Which is very satisfying</i>
<i>but also very difficult.</i>

664
01:05:34,833 --> 01:05:35,875
<i>I felt...</i>

665
01:05:36,875 --> 01:05:38,666
<i>insufficient...</i>

666
01:05:39,291 --> 01:05:41,666
<i>as a mother.</i>

667
01:05:45,416 --> 01:05:47,833
<i>I felt as if I had shrunk, and I felt lost</i>

668
01:05:47,958 --> 01:05:50,375
<i>and as if the ground</i>
<i>had opened up beneath my feet.</i>

669
01:06:04,041 --> 01:06:05,625
<i>You learn to become a mother,</i>

670
01:06:05,958 --> 01:06:08,500
<i>but then, the kid...</i>

671
01:06:08,833 --> 01:06:11,625
<i>teaches you many things about yourself.</i>

672
01:06:21,500 --> 01:06:24,416
<i>It's a kind of love</i>
<i>that cannot be defined.</i>

673
01:06:30,208 --> 01:06:33,500
<i>It's such a deep connection, it's...</i>

674
01:06:35,916 --> 01:06:38,083
<i>It's a great responsibility,</i>

675
01:06:38,708 --> 01:06:41,666
<i>because you don't want them to have</i>

676
01:06:41,791 --> 01:06:44,000
<i>the same experiences.</i>

677
01:06:44,125 --> 01:06:45,625
Let's go to sleep.

678
01:06:47,083 --> 01:06:50,500
<i>You don't know</i>
<i>what you'll teach this being...</i>

679
01:06:50,625 --> 01:06:52,583
<i>especially if it's a girl.</i>

680
01:06:53,125 --> 01:06:56,250
Mum, I want to comb your hair!

681
01:06:56,375 --> 01:07:00,000
<i>Because you never</i>
<i>graduated in that.</i>

682
01:07:02,875 --> 01:07:05,208
- Didn't you have homework?
- No.

683
01:07:05,333 --> 01:07:06,750
Mm-hm.

684
01:07:06,875 --> 01:07:08,625
- Are you sure?
- Yes.

685
01:08:11,750 --> 01:08:13,250
Come in!

686
01:08:15,125 --> 01:08:16,625
Hello.

687
01:08:20,000 --> 01:08:21,875
Well then?

688
01:08:23,916 --> 01:08:25,208
Come in, come in.

689
01:08:30,666 --> 01:08:32,041
<i>We went...</i>

690
01:08:32,833 --> 01:08:35,500
- <i>to have a beer.</i>
- And how did it go?

691
01:08:35,625 --> 01:08:39,250
<i>It was lovely. He took my hand</i>
<i>and this and that.</i>

692
01:08:39,375 --> 01:08:42,000
<i>Oh, no, what an outrage!</i>

693
01:08:42,125 --> 01:08:44,875
Yes, you gave me the perfect address.

694
01:09:00,125 --> 01:09:03,125
<i>Then he says, "Can I kiss you?"</i>
<i>And I say, "Oh, no, what a drag!"</i>

695
01:09:03,250 --> 01:09:05,125
<i>First of all, you're not a kid.</i>

696
01:09:06,500 --> 01:09:08,625
<i>Second, what's all this</i>
<i>about asking for a kiss?</i>

697
01:09:08,750 --> 01:09:10,750
<i>You give someone a kiss,</i>
<i>you don't ask permission.</i>

698
01:09:10,875 --> 01:09:12,791
<i>Asking permission to kiss someone.</i>

699
01:09:15,750 --> 01:09:20,125
<i>And he kept calling me.</i>
<i>We went out, we kept going out...</i>

700
01:09:20,250 --> 01:09:22,750
<i>And guess what?</i>
<i>It's been six years already.</i>

701
01:09:27,250 --> 01:09:29,250
<i>The first time</i>
<i>I went to the doctor, I said,</i>

702
01:09:29,375 --> 01:09:31,500
<i>"I need to have some tests done."</i>

703
01:09:31,625 --> 01:09:34,750
"<i>I have a boyfriend,</i>
<i>we had some drinks, and I slept with him."</i>

704
01:09:35,166 --> 01:09:38,166
<i>"What, at your age?"</i>
<i>"Yes, sweetie."</i>

705
01:09:38,291 --> 01:09:41,000
"Take note,
so that when you're old like me,

706
01:09:41,125 --> 01:09:42,500
<i>"you do the same and enjoy."</i>

707
01:09:42,625 --> 01:09:44,000
<i>Don't be so bitter.</i>

708
01:09:45,458 --> 01:09:47,500
<i>As if I were talking</i>
<i>to her about the devil.</i>

709
01:09:47,625 --> 01:09:49,875
Doctor, look I need to have tests done.

710
01:09:50,000 --> 01:09:53,250
I have a boyfriend,
we had some drinks, and I slept with him.

711
01:09:53,375 --> 01:09:54,916
<i>Despite...</i>

712
01:09:56,375 --> 01:09:58,125
<i>..being a bit rusty...</i>

713
01:09:59,625 --> 01:10:04,541
<i>..in intimate, physical relationships,</i>
<i>I'm still perfectly...</i>

714
01:10:05,125 --> 01:10:06,750
<i>well-endowed.</i>

715
01:10:07,750 --> 01:10:10,416
<i>And I can still feel...</i>

716
01:10:13,708 --> 01:10:16,500
<i>..a lot, perhaps as much as before.</i>

717
01:10:16,625 --> 01:10:19,750
<i>Sometimes, not always.</i>
<i>But that's okay.</i>

718
01:10:19,875 --> 01:10:23,125
<i>And the great thing is that I'm no longer</i>

719
01:10:23,250 --> 01:10:27,916
<i>obsessed about experiencing</i>
<i>that which I was denied.</i>

720
01:10:28,041 --> 01:10:32,125
<i>Normal intimate experiences,</i>
<i>and other practices, too,</i>

721
01:10:32,250 --> 01:10:34,125
<i>like oral sex.</i>

722
01:10:34,250 --> 01:10:35,750
<i>I love it.</i>

723
01:10:35,875 --> 01:10:38,666
<i>That's really, really good.</i>

724
01:10:39,583 --> 01:10:42,000
<i>And then there's foreplay, too.</i>

725
01:10:42,125 --> 01:10:44,000
<i>I really enjoy that.</i>

726
01:10:44,125 --> 01:10:45,875
<i>Now that I'm old.</i>

727
01:10:46,000 --> 01:10:49,625
<i>Because I spent many years</i>
<i>not knowing what an orgasm was.</i>

728
01:10:49,750 --> 01:10:54,125
<i>Now I know what that is,</i>
<i>and it's really good.</i>

729
01:10:54,500 --> 01:11:00,166
<i>It's not like rough and ready,</i>
<i>multi-orgasmic and everything, no.</i>

730
01:11:00,625 --> 01:11:02,250
<i>The woman begins...</i>

731
01:11:02,375 --> 01:11:06,000
<i>"I'm not sure because</i>
<i>I have love handles, my breasts fell.</i>

732
01:11:06,125 --> 01:11:07,500
<i>"I'm so ashamed.</i>

733
01:11:07,625 --> 01:11:10,125
<i>"Don't switch the light on,</i>
<i>better with the light off."</i>

734
01:11:11,708 --> 01:11:15,000
<i>The first time I took my clothes off,</i>
<i>I was so embarrassed.</i>

735
01:11:15,125 --> 01:11:17,125
<i>Yes, I was very anxious.</i>

736
01:11:30,500 --> 01:11:33,000
<i>It's not that I switch on all the lights,</i>

737
01:11:33,125 --> 01:11:35,500
<i>but yes, there's light</i>

738
01:11:35,625 --> 01:11:39,250
<i>and now you can see what you do,</i>
<i>with whom and how you do it.</i>

739
01:11:41,125 --> 01:11:44,000
<i>I can't be more explicit because...</i>

740
01:11:44,125 --> 01:11:45,958
<i>it would be a porn movie.</i>

741
01:11:54,541 --> 01:11:57,500
<i>In general, we meet on Wednesdays.</i>

742
01:11:57,583 --> 01:11:59,875
<i>We hang out, we listen to music.</i>

743
01:12:00,458 --> 01:12:04,083
<i>It's lovely, because I'm mostly by myself,</i>

744
01:12:04,666 --> 01:12:07,000
<i>so I have a lot of freedom.</i>

745
01:12:08,916 --> 01:12:10,750
<i>And I tell him, "Look...</i>

746
01:12:11,625 --> 01:12:13,500
<i>"forget about...</i>

747
01:12:13,625 --> 01:12:15,375
<i>"being in a relationship</i>

748
01:12:15,500 --> 01:12:18,083
<i>"and live together with me."</i>

749
01:12:19,625 --> 01:12:22,333
<i>The death of any relationship...</i>

750
01:12:23,291 --> 01:12:24,583
<i>..is marriage.</i>

751
01:12:25,541 --> 01:12:28,625
<i>Do you want to lose</i>
<i>the charm of a relationship?</i>

752
01:12:28,750 --> 01:12:30,250
<i>Get married!</i>

753
01:12:31,250 --> 01:12:33,083
<i>If you're just in a relationship,</i>
<i>or lovers,</i>

754
01:12:33,166 --> 01:12:34,791
<i>however you want to call it,</i>

755
01:12:35,125 --> 01:12:36,875
<i>they arrive all dressed-up, with cologne.</i>

756
01:12:37,000 --> 01:12:40,375
<i>Their underwear has no skidmarks,</i>
<i>their feet don't smell...</i>

757
01:12:40,875 --> 01:12:42,375
<i>their mouth doesn't smell.</i>

758
01:12:43,583 --> 01:12:46,250
<i>Ah, but if you get married...</i>
<i>Oh, no!</i>

759
01:12:48,291 --> 01:12:51,958
<i>They start snoring like a drill.</i>

760
01:12:53,041 --> 01:12:55,416
<i>They sweat, and they don't care.</i>

761
01:12:55,541 --> 01:12:57,500
<i>If they need to fart, they'll fart.</i>

762
01:12:57,625 --> 01:12:59,750
<i>Go and see if they'll do that</i>
<i>when they are just dating.</i>

763
01:12:59,875 --> 01:13:01,958
<i>No, they just don't do it.</i>

764
01:13:08,583 --> 01:13:12,125
<i>You don't want to be my nurse,</i>

765
01:13:12,250 --> 01:13:14,083
<i>because that's what's coming next,</i>

766
01:13:14,208 --> 01:13:16,333
<i>and I don't want to be your nurse, either.</i>

767
01:13:17,375 --> 01:13:19,125
<i>Let's have fun while we can!</i>

768
01:13:19,250 --> 01:13:22,791
- Do you have the keys?
- I have everything - keys, wallet.

769
01:13:22,875 --> 01:13:25,250
<i>Everyone in their own house</i>
<i>and God in every house!</i>

770
01:13:34,666 --> 01:13:36,583
<i>It's just like when you first met.</i>

771
01:13:38,208 --> 01:13:40,375
<i>Exactly the same.</i>

772
01:13:40,500 --> 01:13:42,125
<i>Butterflies in my tummy.</i>

773
01:13:42,250 --> 01:13:45,375
<i>You get a delicious bath before,</i>
<i>because you know what's coming.</i>

774
01:13:45,500 --> 01:13:47,458
<i>What a great bath it is!</i>

775
01:13:55,583 --> 01:13:57,875
<i>When he talks to me and he starts saying,</i>

776
01:13:58,000 --> 01:13:59,500
<i>"What a great night, last night!"</i>

777
01:13:59,625 --> 01:14:03,666
<i>I feel an electric current</i>
<i>up and down my body.</i>

778
01:14:10,291 --> 01:14:12,750
<i>It's the best moment of my life,</i>

779
01:14:12,875 --> 01:14:15,000
<i>because I have complete freedom.</i>

780
01:14:15,125 --> 01:14:17,666
..because I have complete freedom.

781
01:14:23,958 --> 01:14:25,708
<i>Most people think,</i>

782
01:14:25,833 --> 01:14:27,458
<i>"Oh, no, not at this age, not me.</i>

783
01:14:27,583 --> 01:14:30,500
<i>I'm way past that, my energy's gone."</i>

784
01:14:30,625 --> 01:14:33,375
<i>Oh, no, so many bitter old ladies.</i>
<i>What a drag!</i>

785
01:14:38,166 --> 01:14:40,750
<i>I think a woman is always...</i>

786
01:14:40,875 --> 01:14:42,708
<i>in full swing.</i>

787
01:14:51,500 --> 01:14:54,375
<i>I think that fire...</i>

788
01:14:54,500 --> 01:14:58,916
<i>goes out because there are so many,</i>
<i>frustrations, humiliations</i>

789
01:14:59,041 --> 01:15:01,250
<i>which are like iced water on the fire.</i>

790
01:15:01,375 --> 01:15:03,041
Pour me a drink.

791
01:15:11,250 --> 01:15:12,750
You're so pretty!

792
01:15:15,125 --> 01:15:16,916
<i>A woman...</i>

793
01:15:17,500 --> 01:15:18,958
<i>never...</i>

794
01:15:19,166 --> 01:15:21,375
<i>stops feeling alive.</i>

795
01:15:21,500 --> 01:15:23,125
Almost there, sweetie.

796
01:15:27,250 --> 01:15:28,750
- How was it?
- Good.

797
01:15:28,875 --> 01:15:32,291
<i>She never stops</i>
<i>wanting or needing</i>

798
01:15:32,416 --> 01:15:35,333
<i>hugs and kisses and love, never.</i>

799
01:15:43,166 --> 01:15:46,875
<i>The intermediary stage,</i>
<i>that of woman, mother,</i>

800
01:15:47,000 --> 01:15:49,875
<i>housewife...was the hardest.</i>

801
01:15:50,000 --> 01:15:52,000
- How was it? Tell me.
- Good, I already told you!

802
01:15:52,125 --> 01:15:54,916
<i>Because I was no longer,</i>
<i>the innocent little girl, no.</i>

803
01:15:55,041 --> 01:15:57,083
Calm down, the baby's right there.

804
01:15:57,208 --> 01:16:01,250
<i>I was a bit more</i>
<i>aware of the danger.</i>

805
01:16:02,875 --> 01:16:05,666
- I'll keep cleaning...
- <i>I had to be very careful.</i>

806
01:16:08,500 --> 01:16:10,750
<i>The baby was crawling,</i>

807
01:16:10,875 --> 01:16:13,250
<i>and she put her little finger</i>
<i>in the speaker.</i>

808
01:16:14,500 --> 01:16:17,875
<i>He went to hit the baby</i>
<i>with a screwdriver,</i>

809
01:16:18,000 --> 01:16:20,083
<i>and he says,</i>
<i>"Leave me alone, or I'll hit you!"</i>

810
01:16:20,208 --> 01:16:22,250
If you're such a man, hit me.

811
01:16:38,958 --> 01:16:44,250
<i>When you go through</i>
<i>domestic violence, aggression,</i>

812
01:16:44,750 --> 01:16:48,250
<i>at the beginning</i>
<i>you think it's only happening to you,</i>

813
01:16:48,375 --> 01:16:50,208
<i>it's just your story.</i>

814
01:16:50,541 --> 01:16:54,500
<i>But then, you realise it's not like that.</i>

815
01:16:55,750 --> 01:16:57,875
<i>It's the same story for many.</i>

816
01:17:24,416 --> 01:17:26,250
Your husband came by.

817
01:17:27,291 --> 01:17:29,000
He was crying a lot.

818
01:17:29,125 --> 01:17:32,375
<i>I never saw myself</i>
<i>as a divorced woman,</i>

819
01:17:32,958 --> 01:17:35,208
<i>or imagined I could be one.</i>

820
01:17:38,416 --> 01:17:42,250
<i>My mother would come and say,</i>
<i>"Forgive that poor man."</i>

821
01:17:45,583 --> 01:17:47,166
How are you, sweetie?

822
01:17:49,916 --> 01:17:52,750
<i>I said, "Dad,</i>
<i>this and this and this happened."</i>

823
01:17:52,875 --> 01:17:56,250
<i>"Sometimes, you get angry,</i>
<i>and you don't know what you're doing."</i>

824
01:17:58,125 --> 01:18:01,000
No, Dad. I'm scared
he'll do that to the baby.

825
01:18:02,583 --> 01:18:04,916
I want to get a divorce,
I don't want to be dead.

826
01:18:06,000 --> 01:18:09,333
I told you not to marry,
I told you he wasn't a good man.

827
01:18:11,000 --> 01:18:12,333
You didn't listen.

828
01:18:13,416 --> 01:18:14,875
And now...

829
01:18:17,291 --> 01:18:18,291
..now...

830
01:18:19,291 --> 01:18:21,416
bear with it, because this is your cross.

831
01:18:23,541 --> 01:18:25,666
<i>"Bear with it,</i>
<i>because this is your cross."</i>

832
01:18:32,708 --> 01:18:35,125
<i>I endured 17 years of terror...</i>

833
01:18:36,250 --> 01:18:39,000
<i>..being raped continuously,</i>

834
01:18:39,125 --> 01:18:41,208
<i>which is something I never understood.</i>

835
01:18:44,833 --> 01:18:46,500
<i>I was brought up</i>

836
01:18:46,875 --> 01:18:51,166
<i>without learning the difference,</i>
<i>or knowing...</i>

837
01:18:51,666 --> 01:18:54,958
<i>that you could be raped</i>
<i>even by your husband.</i>

838
01:18:58,541 --> 01:19:02,000
<i>Later, I realised I broke the record...</i>

839
01:19:03,166 --> 01:19:05,041
<i>..because it was all about</i>
<i>what he wanted,</i>

840
01:19:05,166 --> 01:19:07,500
<i>where he wanted,</i>
<i>how he wanted, when he wanted</i>

841
01:19:07,625 --> 01:19:11,166
<i>and then, he had no limits,</i>

842
01:19:11,625 --> 01:19:13,708
<i>he just slept with anyone.</i>

843
01:19:18,500 --> 01:19:20,750
<i>I was the one who started to get sick,</i>

844
01:19:21,041 --> 01:19:22,750
<i>I started to feel worse and worse.</i>

845
01:19:25,541 --> 01:19:30,000
<i>The doctor said</i>
<i>he had to start me on treatment,</i>

846
01:19:30,250 --> 01:19:32,250
<i>or the consequences would be fatal.</i>

847
01:19:33,458 --> 01:19:36,208
<i>And that sounded like a gift from heaven.</i>

848
01:19:36,333 --> 01:19:39,000
<i>It might sound horrible,</i>
<i>but that's what it sounded like.</i>

849
01:19:42,375 --> 01:19:46,458
<i>Then, when I felt very sick, I decided...</i>

850
01:19:47,000 --> 01:19:48,375
<i>to let myself...</i>

851
01:19:48,500 --> 01:19:50,041
<i>to let myself die.</i>

852
01:19:51,000 --> 01:19:54,125
<i>I thought that if I were to die like that,</i>

853
01:19:54,250 --> 01:19:55,833
<i>I wouldn't be to blame.</i>

854
01:19:58,833 --> 01:20:00,250
<i>And that's how it was.</i>

855
01:20:00,375 --> 01:20:04,625
<i>I didn't go back to the doctor,</i>
<i>and I started feeling very sick.</i>

856
01:20:05,041 --> 01:20:07,000
<i>I smelled horrible.</i>

857
01:20:07,250 --> 01:20:10,083
<i>I had cervical cancer.</i>

858
01:20:10,875 --> 01:20:12,958
<i>And even then,</i>

859
01:20:13,250 --> 01:20:14,708
<i>he continued to rape me.</i>

860
01:20:17,250 --> 01:20:20,000
<i>I remember being raped</i>

861
01:20:20,333 --> 01:20:24,583
<i>the exact day I left the hospital</i>
<i>after having a hysterectomy.</i>

862
01:20:32,583 --> 01:20:34,625
<i>That rape made me</i>
<i>go back to the hospital</i>

863
01:20:34,750 --> 01:20:36,958
<i>the day after my operation.</i>

864
01:20:41,791 --> 01:20:43,500
<i>Things happen</i>
<i>that you can't predict.</i>

865
01:20:43,583 --> 01:20:45,791
<i>Once, I met up with a friend...</i>

866
01:20:46,208 --> 01:20:47,458
<i>who was a doctor.</i>

867
01:20:48,583 --> 01:20:51,250
<i>We hadn't seen each other in a long time,</i>

868
01:20:51,625 --> 01:20:53,500
<i>and he remembered his university friend</i>

869
01:20:53,625 --> 01:20:57,916
<i>and compared her with</i>
<i>the woman he was meeting -</i>

870
01:20:58,041 --> 01:20:59,875
<i>pale, thin, sick.</i>

871
01:21:02,500 --> 01:21:05,250
<i>So, we had a coffee, and I snapped.</i>

872
01:21:05,375 --> 01:21:07,541
<i>I talked about what was happening.</i>

873
01:21:13,583 --> 01:21:15,875
<i>I didn't want to continue living,</i>
<i>that was the truth.</i>

874
01:21:16,000 --> 01:21:19,500
<i>At that moment, not even for my kids.</i>

875
01:21:19,625 --> 01:21:21,875
<i>You think your kids</i>
<i>will be better off with someone else.</i>

876
01:21:22,000 --> 01:21:23,250
I'll be back!

877
01:21:25,125 --> 01:21:26,250
Honey, where are you going?

878
01:21:26,375 --> 01:21:28,791
- Hey! Where are you going?
- To run some errands.

879
01:21:39,583 --> 01:21:41,250
<i>I had two operations.</i>

880
01:21:43,416 --> 01:21:45,125
Everything's going to be all right.

881
01:21:45,500 --> 01:21:49,791
<i>When I came out, I was very sad,</i>
<i>very depressed, because...</i>

882
01:21:52,250 --> 01:21:55,708
<i>..it was like I wasn't even able</i>
<i>to do what I wanted to do...</i>

883
01:21:57,125 --> 01:21:58,583
<i>..which was to die.</i>

884
01:22:03,000 --> 01:22:07,625
<i>Well, there's always an energy,</i>
<i>something, the spirit...</i>

885
01:22:08,000 --> 01:22:09,333
<i>I don't know.</i>

886
01:22:11,625 --> 01:22:16,166
<i>I came out physically exhausted,</i>

887
01:22:16,875 --> 01:22:20,625
<i>but spiritually</i>
<i>there was something there...</i>

888
01:22:20,750 --> 01:22:22,375
- Where were you?
- Nowhere.

889
01:22:22,500 --> 01:22:26,250
<i>..which was growing,</i>
<i>and which gave me strength.</i>

890
01:22:45,541 --> 01:22:47,875
<i>I began to take steps</i>
<i>I'd never taken before,</i>

891
01:22:48,000 --> 01:22:50,500
<i>I went to places</i>
<i>I'd never gone to before.</i>

892
01:23:02,083 --> 01:23:06,125
<i>I sought protection for my kids,</i>
<i>I sought protection for my home.</i>

893
01:23:06,250 --> 01:23:07,750
Yes.

894
01:23:07,875 --> 01:23:11,750
<i>Defend even</i>
<i>the roof over our heads.</i>

895
01:23:13,625 --> 01:23:15,250
You need to tell him to sign here.

896
01:23:15,375 --> 01:23:18,541
<i>And with the help</i>
<i>of people nearby...</i>

897
01:23:21,291 --> 01:23:22,375
<i>..I did it.</i>

898
01:23:24,083 --> 01:23:27,750
<i>I did it, and I started to pick myself up.</i>

899
01:23:29,333 --> 01:23:30,583
Sign there.

900
01:23:45,333 --> 01:23:47,666
<i>It was a turning point.</i>

901
01:23:48,458 --> 01:23:52,250
<i>An opportunity to take back my life.</i>

902
01:23:52,458 --> 01:23:53,875
He finally signed it!

903
01:24:02,541 --> 01:24:04,625
<i>That period of your life,</i>
<i>where you say,</i>

904
01:24:04,750 --> 01:24:08,583
<i>"I'd like to forget that,"</i>
<i>but, in fact, I don't want to forget it...</i>

905
01:24:08,875 --> 01:24:10,916
<i>because perhaps it made me stronger.</i>

906
01:24:27,416 --> 01:24:30,125
<i>I rose from the ashes,</i>
<i>like a phoenix.</i>

907
01:24:31,250 --> 01:24:33,000
<i>And it was wonderful.</i>

908
01:24:33,125 --> 01:24:34,875
<i>For the first time, I felt free.</i>

909
01:24:35,000 --> 01:24:37,708
<i>I no longer belonged</i>
<i>to my parents, nor to my husband.</i>

910
01:24:48,041 --> 01:24:52,333
<i>I recovered my courage,</i>
<i>my love for life.</i>

911
01:24:58,583 --> 01:25:02,041
<i>The best thing of all is that...</i>

912
01:25:02,791 --> 01:25:05,500
<i>the middle didn't kill the end.</i>

913
01:25:09,208 --> 01:25:11,875
<i>And now, being able to smile again</i>

914
01:25:12,208 --> 01:25:15,875
<i>and to talk freely</i>
<i>and openly about these topics...</i>

915
01:25:16,750 --> 01:25:19,208
<i>it even makes me feel proud.</i>

916
01:25:31,750 --> 01:25:33,791
<i>It's that freedom...</i>

917
01:25:34,625 --> 01:25:39,250
<i>to be from the heart</i>
<i>that's ageless, and genderless,</i>

918
01:25:39,541 --> 01:25:43,000
<i>and it's free from all the impositions</i>

919
01:25:43,125 --> 01:25:47,000
<i>we all supposedly have,</i>
<i>whether we're men or women.</i>

920
01:25:51,875 --> 01:25:54,625
<i>If the fairy godmother came and told me</i>

921
01:25:54,750 --> 01:25:57,375
<i>that she would grant me</i>
<i>the wish to return</i>

922
01:25:57,500 --> 01:25:59,250
<i>to any moment of my life...</i>

923
01:26:00,750 --> 01:26:02,500
<i>..I'd say, "I want a different wish."</i>

924
01:26:02,625 --> 01:26:07,375
<i>Because, in fact, I like to be</i>
<i>where I am in this moment.</i>

925
01:26:11,416 --> 01:26:12,625
<i>But yes,</i>

926
01:26:13,083 --> 01:26:15,916
<i>right now,</i>
<i>let's hope the Devil's not listening...</i>

927
01:26:17,125 --> 01:26:18,625
<i>..I'm very happy.</i>

928
01:26:27,958 --> 01:26:31,750
<i>Every time I doubted this body</i>

929
01:26:32,958 --> 01:26:35,916
<i>Because it was always awake.</i>

930
01:26:37,250 --> 01:26:41,625
<i>Every look that was imposed on me.</i>

931
01:26:43,416 --> 01:26:47,833
<i>For what was taken from us,</i>
<i>what was ours.</i>

932
01:26:49,916 --> 01:26:54,375
<i>Each habit that now, after some time,</i>

933
01:26:56,083 --> 01:27:00,416
<i>I am realising it was not true.</i>

934
01:27:02,750 --> 01:27:06,666
<i>In this memory I keep, never in vain,</i>

935
01:27:07,458 --> 01:27:11,125
<i>The things that hurt</i>
<i>in case they are forgotten.</i>

936
01:27:11,958 --> 01:27:16,166
<i>Those who don't remember</i>
<i>will be condemned</i>

937
01:27:17,958 --> 01:27:22,750
<i>To keep in the untenable.</i>

938
01:27:24,666 --> 01:27:29,083
<i>And now I deserve, loud and clear</i>

939
01:27:30,583 --> 01:27:35,000
<i>What I have been through</i>
<i>to be told and understood.</i>

940
01:27:38,416 --> 01:27:41,541
<i>And now that it burns,</i>
<i>now that it burns,</i>

941
01:27:42,083 --> 01:27:44,625
<i>Leave the doors open,</i>

942
01:27:45,041 --> 01:27:47,583
<i>Let the air flow freely,</i>

943
01:27:51,458 --> 01:27:53,916
<i>For in this body there is endurance,</i>

944
01:27:54,416 --> 01:27:57,125
<i>And may they remember in oblivion</i>

945
01:27:57,458 --> 01:28:00,625
<i>That neither today</i>
<i>nor ever is it too late.</i>

946
01:28:08,791 --> 01:28:13,250
<i>So much enduring a time that was dark,</i>

947
01:28:14,083 --> 01:28:17,500
<i>A past that makes the future now</i>

948
01:28:18,083 --> 01:28:22,333
<i>Be long, be short, be uncertain,</i>

949
01:28:24,250 --> 01:28:28,625
<i>Not wanting the silence</i>
<i>of what was hard.</i>

950
01:28:30,875 --> 01:28:35,041
<i>And to break the ceilings and the walls,</i>

951
01:28:37,000 --> 01:28:41,375
<i>Let this story be heard,</i>
<i>for the ones who couldn't.</i>

952
01:28:44,750 --> 01:28:47,750
<i>And now that it burns,</i>
<i>now that it burns,</i>

953
01:28:48,291 --> 01:28:50,833
<i>Leave the doors open,</i>

954
01:28:51,250 --> 01:28:53,791
<i>Let the air flow freely,</i>

955
01:28:57,791 --> 01:29:00,208
<i>For in this body there is endurance,</i>

956
01:29:00,708 --> 01:29:03,541
<i>And may they remember in oblivion</i>

957
01:29:03,958 --> 01:29:07,291
<i>That neither today</i>
<i>nor ever is it too late.</i>

958
01:29:09,875 --> 01:29:13,000
<i>And now that it burns,</i>
<i>now that it burns,</i>

959
01:29:13,541 --> 01:29:16,083
<i>Leave the doors open,</i>

960
01:29:16,500 --> 01:29:19,041
<i>Let the air flow freely,</i>

961
01:29:22,833 --> 01:29:25,291
<i>For in this body there is endurance,</i>

962
01:29:26,000 --> 01:29:28,500
<i>And may they remember in oblivion</i>

963
01:29:29,000 --> 01:29:32,333
<i>That neither today</i>
<i>nor ever is it too late.</i>

964
01:29:35,041 --> 01:29:38,041
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