1
00:00:00,590 --> 00:00:03,970
Last call for flight 525 to New Delhi.

2
00:00:05,090 --> 00:00:07,330
Thank you, honey, for going to look for
Faith.

3
00:00:07,570 --> 00:00:11,530
I feel like this is all my fault. If I
hadn't had that fight with her, she

4
00:00:11,530 --> 00:00:14,930
wouldn't have run off and wouldn't be
missing in India.

5
00:00:15,690 --> 00:00:17,070
No, I blame myself.

6
00:00:17,990 --> 00:00:21,490
If only I'd strangled her in her sleep
when I had the urge we'd all be going to

7
00:00:21,490 --> 00:00:22,490
the Bahamas right now.

8
00:00:23,650 --> 00:00:27,350
Charlie. I'm sorry. It's just the
malaria pills talking.

9
00:00:30,800 --> 00:00:35,260
Don't drink the water, and if you must
eat meat, make sure they kill it in

10
00:00:35,260 --> 00:00:36,260
of you.

11
00:00:36,960 --> 00:00:41,100
Here, Dad, I want you to have my video
game so you won't get bored on the

12
00:00:42,040 --> 00:00:43,380
Justin, that is so sweet.

13
00:00:46,920 --> 00:00:48,200
You're really taking it?

14
00:00:49,160 --> 00:00:50,440
You just gave it to me.

15
00:00:50,740 --> 00:00:51,960
It's called a gesture.

16
00:00:54,640 --> 00:00:55,640
Oh, my God, when?

17
00:00:56,500 --> 00:00:57,500
No way.

18
00:00:57,860 --> 00:00:58,860
No way.

19
00:00:59,300 --> 00:01:00,300
No way.

20
00:01:01,080 --> 00:01:03,320
Sydney, does someone want to say goodbye
to your father?

21
00:01:04,140 --> 00:01:05,720
Julie, do you want to say goodbye to my
dad?

22
00:01:08,420 --> 00:01:09,680
Julie says bye, Dad.

23
00:01:10,800 --> 00:01:12,380
Maybe I should send Julie to college.

24
00:01:13,260 --> 00:01:14,260
You gotta go.

25
00:01:14,280 --> 00:01:15,520
Bye. I love you.

26
00:01:16,920 --> 00:01:20,240
Come on, kids.

27
00:01:20,920 --> 00:01:22,120
Let's watch the plane pull away.

28
00:01:23,360 --> 00:01:24,880
There goes my video game.

29
00:01:32,620 --> 00:01:33,620
Bye, Dad.

30
00:02:20,750 --> 00:02:21,569
Thank you, Top.

31
00:02:21,570 --> 00:02:24,810
Thanks. But I bet you like the one in
your backpack even better. Way.

32
00:02:25,330 --> 00:02:26,770
I mean, what?

33
00:02:28,430 --> 00:02:29,430
Hand it over.

34
00:02:30,930 --> 00:02:34,970
Boy, Mom, nothing gets past you. Mm
-hmm. I'll take the one in your boot,

35
00:02:44,330 --> 00:02:46,310
Were you going to wear that or floss
with it?

36
00:02:46,950 --> 00:02:49,170
Now, listen.

37
00:02:49,630 --> 00:02:52,450
Your father's going to be home any
minute now, and he's not going to be

38
00:02:52,450 --> 00:02:55,590
happy about the fact that he had to fly
halfway to India and back for no reason.

39
00:02:57,090 --> 00:02:59,090
Lay at the flapjack, doll face.

40
00:03:02,030 --> 00:03:03,370
And who are you supposed to be?

41
00:03:04,050 --> 00:03:06,850
Sinatra, baby, and pour me juice
straight up.

42
00:03:42,120 --> 00:03:46,360
You have two minutes to explain where
you were and why you came back.

43
00:03:48,460 --> 00:03:52,840
Okay. I was on my way to India to seek
divine enlightenment when I met Ernesto,

44
00:03:52,960 --> 00:03:57,460
who had divine abs, and an upgrade to
first class. So naturally, I decided to

45
00:03:57,460 --> 00:04:00,180
fly to Mexico with him and said, how am
I doing on time? 1 .45.

46
00:04:00,400 --> 00:04:04,420
Okay. Stuff happens, stuff happens,
stuff happens. The next thing I know,

47
00:04:04,420 --> 00:04:06,080
the back of the chicken truck in the
middle of Mexico.

48
00:04:06,480 --> 00:04:08,220
Mexico? Why didn't you call?

49
00:04:08,660 --> 00:04:11,480
How was I supposed to dial the phone?
You know I don't read Mexican numbers.

50
00:04:13,230 --> 00:04:15,090
30 seconds. Wrap it up, duds.

51
00:04:16,310 --> 00:04:19,970
Okay, so long story short, he sneaked me
in his trunk across the border into

52
00:04:19,970 --> 00:04:22,010
Colorado and the good old U .S. of A.

53
00:04:22,370 --> 00:04:23,830
Time. Yes!

54
00:04:25,190 --> 00:04:26,190
Colorado?

55
00:04:27,030 --> 00:04:29,930
Colorado doesn't border Mexico.

56
00:04:30,210 --> 00:04:33,090
Well, I know that. I wasn't in the old
Mexico.

57
00:04:33,630 --> 00:04:35,110
I was in the new Mexico.

58
00:04:40,750 --> 00:04:41,750
Faith.

59
00:04:41,970 --> 00:04:45,320
New Mexico. Mexico is part of the United
States.

60
00:04:46,080 --> 00:04:47,080
It is?

61
00:04:51,600 --> 00:04:54,580
Look, what does it matter what Mexico I
was in? The point is, I had a

62
00:04:54,580 --> 00:04:55,580
revolution.

63
00:04:56,900 --> 00:04:57,900
You were right.

64
00:04:58,640 --> 00:04:59,640
I am selfish.

65
00:05:00,760 --> 00:05:03,720
And Charlie, I have taken advantage of
your generosity.

66
00:05:04,220 --> 00:05:07,000
So now it's time for me to put out or
shut up. Faith.

67
00:05:09,760 --> 00:05:10,699
No, no.

68
00:05:10,700 --> 00:05:13,300
I realize that I'm not getting back to
Hollywood anytime soon.

69
00:05:14,180 --> 00:05:15,420
I have to face reality.

70
00:05:16,140 --> 00:05:19,500
I have to get a job and make my life
here in Glen Falls.

71
00:05:20,720 --> 00:05:22,560
But I need your help to do that.

72
00:05:23,620 --> 00:05:25,320
And I don't have anywhere else to go.

73
00:05:28,340 --> 00:05:29,340
Please.

74
00:05:34,340 --> 00:05:35,500
Did you hear that, Charlie?

75
00:05:36,480 --> 00:05:38,480
Maybe she did have a revolution.

76
00:05:43,630 --> 00:05:44,630
Okay, Hope.

77
00:05:45,110 --> 00:05:51,570
But Faith, I'm telling you, if you screw
up one more time, you're out.

78
00:05:52,330 --> 00:05:53,370
Thank you, Charlie.

79
00:05:55,010 --> 00:05:56,490
Now, I have a question.

80
00:05:57,210 --> 00:06:00,190
Is New England also part of the United
States?

81
00:06:01,650 --> 00:06:04,710
Yes. New Jersey? Yes. New York? Yes.

82
00:06:04,910 --> 00:06:06,590
New Montana? No. I knew that one.

83
00:06:17,680 --> 00:06:18,680
Take a load off.

84
00:06:19,080 --> 00:06:20,100
How was your day?

85
00:06:20,700 --> 00:06:26,120
Here are your slippers and a nice cold
beer. Oh, and here's the new oral

86
00:06:26,120 --> 00:06:28,920
monthly. Did you know this magazine's
about teeth?

87
00:06:31,800 --> 00:06:33,320
Oh, and here's your pipe.

88
00:06:42,220 --> 00:06:46,700
She has been amazing all day. She did
the laundry, cleaned the house.

89
00:06:47,600 --> 00:06:48,600
in the toilet paper?

90
00:06:50,180 --> 00:06:51,860
Cheese starch. So be careful.

91
00:06:54,320 --> 00:06:55,320
Dinner's ready.

92
00:06:57,200 --> 00:06:59,780
Come on, folks. Ring -a -ding -ding.

93
00:07:03,220 --> 00:07:06,840
He saw an A andE biography on Sinatra, and
he's become... Obsessed?

94
00:07:07,080 --> 00:07:08,080
A little bit.

95
00:07:09,120 --> 00:07:10,680
Oh, my God, a belly ring.

96
00:07:11,180 --> 00:07:13,680
Like it? Love it. Love? No.

97
00:07:15,060 --> 00:07:19,310
Fine. I won't get my belly button,
Peter. or your nose, or your eyebrows.

98
00:07:19,990 --> 00:07:20,990
Nipple?

99
00:07:22,990 --> 00:07:24,190
I'm just kidding.

100
00:07:25,130 --> 00:07:26,130
Unless it's okay.

101
00:07:32,130 --> 00:07:35,910
Faye, this chicken is delicious. What is
your secret?

102
00:07:36,150 --> 00:07:39,970
I just followed the recipe. It's amazing
what two tibbles of paprika and a

103
00:07:39,970 --> 00:07:41,450
quarter elb of butter will do.

104
00:07:44,790 --> 00:07:46,750
I'd like to make it toast.

105
00:07:48,610 --> 00:07:53,810
Hey, I didn't think you could do it, but
you seem to have come back here a

106
00:07:53,810 --> 00:07:54,809
changed woman.

107
00:07:54,810 --> 00:07:57,170
Well, I did lose five elves.

108
00:07:59,370 --> 00:08:03,630
All right, well, I was going to save my
big surprise for after dinner, but I

109
00:08:03,630 --> 00:08:04,630
can't wait.

110
00:08:05,110 --> 00:08:10,870
I spent four hours this afternoon
watching someone 62 men condition in

111
00:08:13,090 --> 00:08:14,090
You did?

112
00:08:14,190 --> 00:08:15,410
Go check it out.

113
00:08:21,520 --> 00:08:22,520
of scouring powder.

114
00:08:23,980 --> 00:08:25,320
Oh my God!

115
00:08:26,540 --> 00:08:28,960
And I had to use all of these thingies
for the chrome.

116
00:08:29,860 --> 00:08:30,980
Oh my God!

117
00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:36,559
Boy, my arm sure is sore, but it is so
worth it. Listen to how happy he is.

118
00:09:04,300 --> 00:09:09,180
It doesn't matter if she meant to. She
had a last straw. And if I was a camel,

119
00:09:09,220 --> 00:09:10,220
then she broke it.

120
00:09:14,360 --> 00:09:15,360
My straw.

121
00:09:17,280 --> 00:09:18,700
She's out of here.

122
00:09:19,940 --> 00:09:22,280
You can't just throw her out on the
street.

123
00:09:22,920 --> 00:09:24,120
She's my sister.

124
00:09:24,520 --> 00:09:25,520
Well, I'm your husband.

125
00:09:28,320 --> 00:09:29,500
Don't make me choose.

126
00:09:30,160 --> 00:09:31,500
You choose all the time.

127
00:09:33,260 --> 00:09:34,680
And you always choose Faith.

128
00:09:38,380 --> 00:09:45,300
I can't believe you, Sidney.

129
00:09:45,820 --> 00:09:48,880
Speaking off to the mall when you were
supposed to be at the library. You know,

130
00:09:48,900 --> 00:09:52,380
the old Faith may have been impressed by
your cunning deception, but the new

131
00:09:52,380 --> 00:09:55,160
Faith is on probation, and you could
have gotten her into a lot of trouble.

132
00:09:55,620 --> 00:09:57,160
Now apologize to new Faith.

133
00:09:57,980 --> 00:09:59,560
And then show old Faith what you got.

134
00:10:05,260 --> 00:10:06,280
Your brother's going to kill me.

135
00:10:06,480 --> 00:10:07,680
You're not going to tell her, are you?

136
00:10:09,460 --> 00:10:10,460
Button it, Mumbles.

137
00:10:11,380 --> 00:10:14,680
Look, I promised I'd be more
responsible, which means I have to tell

138
00:10:14,680 --> 00:10:15,900
mother. I am sorry, Sydney.

139
00:10:17,620 --> 00:10:18,620
Oh, good, Hope.

140
00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:20,500
I've got to tell you something. No.

141
00:10:21,140 --> 00:10:22,440
I need to tell you something.

142
00:10:22,700 --> 00:10:26,000
I finally calmed Charlie down, but I
can't keep making excuses for you.

143
00:10:26,200 --> 00:10:29,440
All right, you're right. From now on,
we'll come up with them together. I mean

144
00:10:29,440 --> 00:10:30,440
it, Faith.

145
00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:39,000
Are we clear?

146
00:10:40,760 --> 00:10:41,760
Perfectly.

147
00:10:42,080 --> 00:10:44,480
Now, what do you want to tell me?

148
00:10:47,940 --> 00:10:52,000
Just that I am so proud of this little
girl here.

149
00:10:52,920 --> 00:10:54,720
They like her so much at that library.

150
00:10:54,980 --> 00:10:56,280
They let her borrow some of the books.

151
00:10:58,440 --> 00:11:00,180
So, Sydney, you feel good about your
test?

152
00:11:01,440 --> 00:11:03,820
What? Cat got your tongue? Her tongue is
fine.

153
00:11:05,400 --> 00:11:07,780
Nothing wrong with her tongue. Get off
her back! Woman.

154
00:11:10,800 --> 00:11:11,800
Fine.

155
00:11:12,580 --> 00:11:13,620
I'm going to bed.

156
00:11:17,060 --> 00:11:18,060
Good night.

157
00:11:19,260 --> 00:11:20,460
Thank you, Aunt Faith.

158
00:11:20,960 --> 00:11:21,919
All right.

159
00:11:21,920 --> 00:11:22,920
Here's the story.

160
00:11:24,380 --> 00:11:30,500
You were kidnapped from the library
parking lot by a mysterious man with a

161
00:11:30,500 --> 00:11:31,500
parrot and a piercing gun.

162
00:11:32,720 --> 00:11:34,680
What? Too far -fetched?

163
00:11:34,880 --> 00:11:37,480
Well, it sounds a little filthy. Oh,
does that sound a little silly, Bella?

164
00:11:37,700 --> 00:11:38,700
Does that sound silly?

165
00:11:41,520 --> 00:11:42,520
All right, fine.

166
00:11:43,180 --> 00:11:44,180
I got a better idea.

167
00:11:44,400 --> 00:11:47,280
We'll go back to the mall first thing in
the morning and get whoever put that

168
00:11:47,280 --> 00:11:48,560
thing in to take it out, all right?

169
00:11:49,480 --> 00:11:54,700
In the meantime, I want you to say, I
thought I saw a pussycat.

170
00:11:57,280 --> 00:11:58,720
I thought I saw a pussycat.

171
00:12:01,360 --> 00:12:04,400
Now say, Sally sells seashells by the
seashore.

172
00:12:11,750 --> 00:12:18,410
I need you in the bathroom.

173
00:12:18,610 --> 00:12:20,270
Now. What is so important?

174
00:12:20,530 --> 00:12:21,630
It's 3 a .m.

175
00:12:26,370 --> 00:12:27,370
What's going on?

176
00:12:27,610 --> 00:12:30,590
Promise you won't get mad. I'm already
mad. Promise you won't get madder. I'm

177
00:12:30,590 --> 00:12:31,590
already madder.

178
00:12:32,790 --> 00:12:33,950
Okay, forget it. Go back to bed.

179
00:12:34,250 --> 00:12:35,250
Faith!

180
00:12:38,410 --> 00:12:41,970
What did I tell you? You said no eyeball
nose with Eliasson.

181
00:12:43,930 --> 00:12:44,930
What?

182
00:12:45,150 --> 00:12:46,210
When did this happen?

183
00:12:46,450 --> 00:12:47,450
At the mall.

184
00:12:48,370 --> 00:12:49,850
Mom, it really hurts.

185
00:12:51,170 --> 00:12:52,170
Stick out your tongue.

186
00:12:53,510 --> 00:12:57,170
Faith, I can't believe you took Sydney
to the mall to get her tongue pierced. I

187
00:12:57,170 --> 00:13:00,310
didn't. I took her to the library. She
snuck off to the mall while I was

188
00:13:00,310 --> 00:13:01,310
a lip wax.

189
00:13:02,290 --> 00:13:04,750
And let that be a gentle reminder to
you.

190
00:13:06,410 --> 00:13:08,930
Why didn't you tell me? I just did, Tom
Selleck.

191
00:13:12,730 --> 00:13:13,730
Oh.

192
00:13:14,110 --> 00:13:15,110
It's swollen.

193
00:13:15,150 --> 00:13:19,090
It's pinching. I'm going to go get your
dad. No, you can't do that. He'll blame

194
00:13:19,090 --> 00:13:22,190
everything on me. Please, can't we just
take it out ourselves?

195
00:13:25,130 --> 00:13:26,130
All right.

196
00:13:28,350 --> 00:13:30,410
Ow, ow, ow. God, you're hurting me.

197
00:13:31,770 --> 00:13:33,850
Let's just disinfect it first. Faith, go
get the peroxide.

198
00:14:45,070 --> 00:14:46,070
What are you doing in here?

199
00:14:47,210 --> 00:14:49,810
Showering. What else would I be doing in
the shower?

200
00:14:54,950 --> 00:14:55,990
Why isn't the water on?

201
00:14:56,330 --> 00:14:57,330
It is on.

202
00:15:01,430 --> 00:15:06,550
You know, uh,

203
00:15:06,750 --> 00:15:09,550
I could use a shower myself.

204
00:15:11,730 --> 00:15:13,110
No, you couldn't. You still could.

205
00:15:14,250 --> 00:15:19,090
Yeah, but I'm feeling very dirty.

206
00:15:21,510 --> 00:15:23,230
What was that?

207
00:15:24,490 --> 00:15:25,490
Excellent.

208
00:15:26,510 --> 00:15:27,890
I'll see you in our shower.

209
00:15:28,810 --> 00:15:29,890
What's wrong with this one?

210
00:15:30,690 --> 00:15:32,470
Oh, this is the kids' bathroom.

211
00:15:33,410 --> 00:15:35,250
So, we've done it in their rooms.

212
00:15:53,610 --> 00:15:54,630
This will get you in the mood.

213
00:16:01,970 --> 00:16:05,590
Oh, God!

214
00:16:12,350 --> 00:16:13,350
There.

215
00:16:14,690 --> 00:16:15,690
It's out.

216
00:16:16,190 --> 00:16:17,430
Oh, thank God.

217
00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:19,550
Here. Rinse with this.

218
00:16:21,550 --> 00:16:26,490
You know, this was so painful and such a
huge mistake that I think we can all

219
00:16:26,490 --> 00:16:30,490
agree that this was punishment enough,
and I've learned my lesson.

220
00:16:32,590 --> 00:16:33,590
Nice try.

221
00:16:34,230 --> 00:16:36,570
Grounded for two weeks. Now go up there.

222
00:16:39,530 --> 00:16:46,390
And as for you... I think seeing my

223
00:16:46,390 --> 00:16:47,670
sister's husband naked...

224
00:16:56,430 --> 00:17:00,110
big mistake that we can all agree on.
Shut your mouth.

225
00:17:02,170 --> 00:17:03,930
Okay, fine. I'm grounded for two weeks.

226
00:17:05,910 --> 00:17:06,910
Hope?

227
00:17:07,770 --> 00:17:08,770
Charlie.

228
00:17:09,089 --> 00:17:12,609
It's not Faith's fault Sydney snuck off
to the mall and got her tongue pierced.

229
00:17:13,010 --> 00:17:16,810
No, but it is her fault that she covered
for her and didn't tell us.

230
00:17:17,849 --> 00:17:19,490
Sydney's tongue could have gotten
infected.

231
00:17:23,170 --> 00:17:24,250
Faith, Charlie's right.

232
00:17:25,680 --> 00:17:27,420
Covering for Sidney doesn't do her any
good.

233
00:17:28,840 --> 00:17:31,500
She has to start taking responsibility
for her actions.

234
00:17:33,700 --> 00:17:37,640
You know, Hope, I could say the same
thing to you.

235
00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:40,560
You cover for Faith all the time.

236
00:17:41,640 --> 00:17:43,960
She never takes responsibility for her
actions.

237
00:17:45,140 --> 00:17:46,160
It's got you there, Hope.

238
00:17:49,720 --> 00:17:50,820
We had an agreement.

239
00:17:51,820 --> 00:17:53,340
Yeah, but I don't think this one counts.

240
00:17:54,540 --> 00:17:55,560
Oh, that's right.

241
00:17:56,400 --> 00:17:57,920
It never counts with your sister.

242
00:17:59,720 --> 00:18:02,140
Yeah. I guess you don't just choose
Faith over me.

243
00:18:03,460 --> 00:18:04,560
Choose her over your kids, too.

244
00:18:08,260 --> 00:18:09,260
Well,

245
00:18:11,500 --> 00:18:13,000
of course you choose me. We're sisters.

246
00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:16,580
I was here before any of them.

247
00:18:20,500 --> 00:18:21,500
Faith, you have to go.

248
00:18:21,680 --> 00:18:22,960
No, I'm good. I went in the shower.

249
00:18:34,320 --> 00:18:35,320
You have to move out.

250
00:18:37,720 --> 00:18:38,720
Out?

251
00:18:41,780 --> 00:18:42,780
Out, out?

252
00:18:45,760 --> 00:18:46,760
Out, out.

253
00:18:49,980 --> 00:18:50,980
Okay.

254
00:18:52,380 --> 00:18:53,380
Well, fine.

255
00:18:54,320 --> 00:18:55,640
You don't have to tell me twice.

256
00:18:57,980 --> 00:18:59,780
But just so I'm clear, out, out?

257
00:19:02,100 --> 00:19:03,160
I'm sorry, Faith.

258
00:19:05,680 --> 00:19:07,260
But I have to put my family first.

259
00:19:09,040 --> 00:19:10,040
Funny.

260
00:19:10,600 --> 00:19:12,180
I thought I was her family.

261
00:19:22,120 --> 00:19:23,120
Justin.

262
00:19:23,460 --> 00:19:24,460
Sorry.

263
00:19:24,660 --> 00:19:25,660
Frank.

264
00:19:26,960 --> 00:19:28,420
We've been through a lot, you and I.

265
00:19:29,340 --> 00:19:32,340
Don't tell the girls, but you were
always my favorite.

266
00:19:36,010 --> 00:19:37,010
Haley.

267
00:19:37,730 --> 00:19:39,010
Sweet Haley.

268
00:19:40,130 --> 00:19:43,110
You have curly hair.

269
00:19:46,070 --> 00:19:47,070
Sydney.

270
00:19:48,310 --> 00:19:50,550
Keep in touch, but don't hound me.

271
00:19:54,290 --> 00:19:55,810
Ah, Charles.

272
00:19:56,930 --> 00:19:58,630
My worthy opponent.

273
00:20:00,470 --> 00:20:01,810
Touché, my friend.

274
00:20:03,790 --> 00:20:04,790
Touché.

275
00:20:07,690 --> 00:20:08,690
Call me when you get settled.

276
00:20:08,910 --> 00:20:09,910
I'm sorry.

277
00:20:10,050 --> 00:20:12,630
I thought I heard something that sounded
like my sister.

278
00:20:13,330 --> 00:20:16,830
But that's not possible because my
sister is dead.

279
00:20:20,670 --> 00:20:22,050
I don't think she meant that.