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[ Y2flix.cc - Watch Movies and TV Shows Online for Free ]

2
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I've had it.
We'll retreat and wait for relief troops.

3
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[dramatic music plays]

4
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[narrator] The year is 50 BC.

5
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All of Gaul is occupied by the Romans.

6
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[woman] All? No way.

7
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One small village
of indomitable Gauls still holds out.

8
00:00:31,750 --> 00:00:32,666
Yes, yes.

9
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All right, but life's not easy

10
00:00:34,333 --> 00:00:37,125
for the Roman legionaries
who garrison the fortified camps

11
00:00:37,208 --> 00:00:39,291
of Totorum, Aquarium,
Laudanum and Compendium.

12
00:00:39,375 --> 00:00:40,833
Metadata, that's enough!

13
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Can't say that to Caesar.
He'll throw us to the lions!

14
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But all of Gaul is not occupied.
To say that would be untrue.

15
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Yes, I know, but trust me, it's fine.
It's almost occupied so we say "all".

16
00:00:50,833 --> 00:00:53,833
But "all" and "almost"
are not the same thing though.

17
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They are, more or less.

18
00:00:55,916 --> 00:00:58,750
What do you know anyway?
You've never been to Gaul.

19
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[coughs] I'd be better off there
than in this dusty cellar.

20
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Hey, stylus-pushers! What you doing?
They're waiting for you.

21
00:01:06,041 --> 00:01:08,541
-What? So Caesar's here?
-He's on the way.

22
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And my uncle?

23
00:01:09,708 --> 00:01:11,583
Oh, yeah, he's there for sure.

24
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[sighs]

25
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Oh, hang on, I've got another one.
Have you heard this one?

26
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Do any of you know the difference
between a Gaul and a wild boar?

27
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Eh? No? Nobody?

28
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Well, one is covered in hair
and goes… [squeals and grunts]

29
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And the other one…

30
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is a wild boar!

31
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[laughs]

32
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[squeals and grunts]

33
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[laughs] A wild boar!

34
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[laughs]

35
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No, 'cause you thought I'd say

36
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that the other one was a Gaul,
didn't you, eh?

37
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'Cause wild boars are very hairy
and go… [squeals]

38
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But I didn't!

39
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And that's the joke!

40
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[laughs]

41
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Oh.

42
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[ominous music plays]

43
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-Ave, Caesar!
-[grumbles]

44
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And so, for your triumph, we have created…

45
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a mosaic!

46
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A mosaic?

47
00:02:09,791 --> 00:02:10,708
Voilà!

48
00:02:10,791 --> 00:02:12,416
I do confess a little bias,

49
00:02:12,500 --> 00:02:15,041
but I assure you there's good reason.

50
00:02:15,125 --> 00:02:18,041
See here, good against evil, okay?

51
00:02:18,125 --> 00:02:21,416
Half of your imperial face on the left,
and a smaller one on the right.

52
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Vercingetorix! [chuckles]
Okay, so what does it illustrate?

53
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The might of Rome,

54
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and how she dominates over the weak.
You see?

55
00:02:29,000 --> 00:02:31,750
As for the form,
we've tried to break the mould.

56
00:02:31,833 --> 00:02:35,583
Not classical, no pastel.
Just a lotta red! Boom!

57
00:02:38,541 --> 00:02:40,125
All the focus groups gave great…

58
00:02:40,208 --> 00:02:42,416
I wanted a bold concept
to mark my triumph,

59
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and you give me a mosaic?

60
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What a silly idea. No.

61
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Very well. Check out this one.

62
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I know what you're going to say.
It's another mosaic.

63
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But this is your triumph, Caesar!

64
00:02:56,125 --> 00:02:59,041
What do we want to say?
What's our key message?

65
00:02:59,125 --> 00:03:02,250
-That all of Gaul is occupied!
-[woman clears throat] Erm…

66
00:03:02,333 --> 00:03:03,791
[sighs]

67
00:03:03,875 --> 00:03:05,833
Yes, Mummy? Go on.

68
00:03:05,916 --> 00:03:07,500
Er, "all of Gaul is occupied"?

69
00:03:07,583 --> 00:03:10,666
No, no. One small village
of indomitable Gauls still holds out.

70
00:03:10,750 --> 00:03:12,291
-Mummy, come on.
-Hmm?

71
00:03:12,375 --> 00:03:14,458
It's one small village. We can say "all".

72
00:03:14,541 --> 00:03:16,625
Yes, it's more or less
all entirely occupied

73
00:03:16,708 --> 00:03:18,125
without exception I assure you.

74
00:03:18,208 --> 00:03:20,333
Yes, but one village is not quite all.

75
00:03:20,833 --> 00:03:22,500
-Fastanfurius!
-Er, yes?

76
00:03:22,583 --> 00:03:26,000
Why are those Gauls,
why are they still… Gauls?

77
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It's because of their magic potion.

78
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It gives them superhuman strength!
It's impossible to…

79
00:03:31,250 --> 00:03:33,041
"Impossible" is not Roman!

80
00:03:33,125 --> 00:03:35,583
I want to see
those Gauls grovel before me,

81
00:03:35,666 --> 00:03:38,875
for them to submit to Rome's power,
once and for all!

82
00:03:39,625 --> 00:03:41,458
And to obey the laws of Rome!

83
00:03:41,541 --> 00:03:44,041
Ahem. There might be a way…

84
00:03:44,875 --> 00:03:46,083
by using Gallic law.

85
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[clears throat] I'm sorry, Caesar.

86
00:03:49,291 --> 00:03:52,791
My niece does have a habit
of talking out of turn.

87
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Metadata, keep quiet and put on a toga.
You're dressed like a barbarian.

88
00:03:56,750 --> 00:03:58,750
The year is minus 50,
I can wear what I like.

89
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[softly] Fifty before what?

90
00:04:00,541 --> 00:04:04,583
O Caesar, I am sure you are familiar
with the Big Fight?

91
00:04:05,166 --> 00:04:07,833
What? Yes, yes. Am I ever.

92
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When a Gallic chief wants
to take control of another village,

93
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he challenges the other chief
to a fight, man to man.

94
00:04:14,375 --> 00:04:15,708
[8-bit digital grunting]

95
00:04:15,791 --> 00:04:16,875
[digital cheering]

96
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The chief still standing at the end
becomes the chief of both clans.

97
00:04:20,666 --> 00:04:24,666
So, if a Gallo-Roman chief,
a Gallic chief committed to helping Rome,

98
00:04:24,750 --> 00:04:27,375
beats the chief of the indomitable Gauls,

99
00:04:27,458 --> 00:04:30,250
he will be the new chief for both clans.

100
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And the Gauls will then be Roman?

101
00:04:32,958 --> 00:04:35,708
Gallo-Roman. But yeah, you can say Roman.

102
00:04:35,791 --> 00:04:38,250
We'll defeat and humiliate them all!

103
00:04:38,333 --> 00:04:41,833
And we will see them caught out
by their own traditions!

104
00:04:41,916 --> 00:04:44,125
[laughs] Enough of mosaics!

105
00:04:44,208 --> 00:04:47,833
The Big Fight will celebrate my triumph!

106
00:04:47,916 --> 00:04:49,500
A spectacular show!

107
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And they will bow down,

108
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all those Gauls prostrate
on the floor before me!

109
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[laughs menacingly]

110
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They'll kiss my boot!

111
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-[laughs]
-[lightning crashes]

112
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J'adore.

113
00:05:03,958 --> 00:05:07,166
You're in charge of organizing
the Big Fight, Bigfarma.

114
00:05:07,250 --> 00:05:09,625
Er, Metadata. My name's Metadata.

115
00:05:09,708 --> 00:05:11,750
Start packing,
you leave for Gaul tomorrow.

116
00:05:11,833 --> 00:05:14,416
For Gaul? Thank you, Caesar, thank you!

117
00:05:14,500 --> 00:05:16,833
Fastanfurius,
you'll give her a hand with logistics.

118
00:05:16,916 --> 00:05:17,958
He's coming too?

119
00:05:18,041 --> 00:05:20,500
Succeed, or I'll throw you to the lions.

120
00:05:20,583 --> 00:05:23,750
-[lightning crashes]
-Lions, er… the animal?

121
00:05:24,333 --> 00:05:25,958
With the long hair?

122
00:05:26,041 --> 00:05:27,416
Caesar has spoken!

123
00:05:27,500 --> 00:05:30,833
I'll go, I'll see, I'll conquer.

124
00:05:30,916 --> 00:05:34,375
Oh! That's a very good phrase,
we'll get it engraved.

125
00:05:34,458 --> 00:05:36,333
And then I'll come back,

126
00:05:36,416 --> 00:05:38,208
I'll tell you all about it,

127
00:05:38,291 --> 00:05:41,041
and… I'll have a bite to eat.

128
00:05:41,125 --> 00:05:43,000
Hmm. Maybe not that one.

129
00:05:43,541 --> 00:05:46,625
[lively classical theme music plays]

130
00:05:49,875 --> 00:05:51,875
[upbeat Celtic folk music plays]

131
00:05:51,958 --> 00:05:53,958
[villagers chatter pleasantly]

132
00:05:59,250 --> 00:06:01,083
[grunting and laughing]

133
00:06:01,166 --> 00:06:02,583
-Huh?
-[exclaims]

134
00:06:02,666 --> 00:06:03,625
[chomping]

135
00:06:04,750 --> 00:06:06,833
[laughing]

136
00:06:09,833 --> 00:06:13,041
-[both laugh]
-Now, children! Now, children!

137
00:06:13,125 --> 00:06:14,333
[inhales deeply]

138
00:06:14,416 --> 00:06:17,708
The Romans haven't bothered us
for 30 days.

139
00:06:17,791 --> 00:06:20,291
Thanks to our druid's magic potion,

140
00:06:20,375 --> 00:06:24,000
we are and will remain indomitable!

141
00:06:24,083 --> 00:06:26,083
-[all cheer]
-Long live our druid!

142
00:06:26,166 --> 00:06:28,000
Long live Getafix!

143
00:06:28,083 --> 00:06:30,125
Thank you, my friends. Thank you.

144
00:06:31,125 --> 00:06:32,333
But…

145
00:06:32,416 --> 00:06:33,916
-But!
-[bearers grunt]

146
00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:38,375
We have nothing to fear,
but the sky above falling upon our heads.

147
00:06:38,458 --> 00:06:42,916
So, let's give thanks to Toutatis
with this banquet and these offerings!

148
00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:44,333
[all cheer]

149
00:06:46,750 --> 00:06:49,291
I composed a ballad for Toutatis.

150
00:06:49,375 --> 00:06:52,916
And it is called,
"Toutatis, Totally Yours".

151
00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:57,000
[sings discordantly] ♪ Toutatis ♪
♪ Totally yours… ♪

152
00:06:57,083 --> 00:06:57,958
[exclaims]

153
00:06:58,625 --> 00:07:00,083
[villagers chuckle]

154
00:07:02,500 --> 00:07:03,958
-Asterix.
-Hmm?

155
00:07:04,041 --> 00:07:06,583
Listen, erm, can I say this?

156
00:07:06,666 --> 00:07:10,666
"This menhir is just like our village,
solid as a menhir".

157
00:07:10,750 --> 00:07:11,916
Oh yeah. Very nice.

158
00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:14,541
I mean, comparing the village
to a menhir and all that.

159
00:07:14,625 --> 00:07:17,541
Nice. But you do know
you're saying "menhir" twice?

160
00:07:17,625 --> 00:07:20,375
I know, but there aren't many ways
to say "menhir", you know?

161
00:07:20,458 --> 00:07:23,416
-I know. You are right.
-What if you said it with a song?

162
00:07:23,500 --> 00:07:24,458
[inhales]

163
00:07:24,541 --> 00:07:25,875
♪ This menhir… ♪

164
00:07:25,958 --> 00:07:27,458
-[yelps]
-[cat howls]

165
00:07:28,916 --> 00:07:31,625
Impedimenta,
weren't you and Vitalstatistix

166
00:07:31,708 --> 00:07:33,083
going on a trip to Lutetia?

167
00:07:33,166 --> 00:07:37,083
Yeah, but what with the invading Romans,
looking after our hut and all that,

168
00:07:37,166 --> 00:07:38,541
it's hard to find the time.

169
00:07:38,625 --> 00:07:39,625
Yeah. I hear you.

170
00:07:39,708 --> 00:07:42,333
Even so, we go tomorrow. Don't we?

171
00:07:42,416 --> 00:07:44,041
-Right, Piggywiggy?
-Huh?

172
00:07:44,125 --> 00:07:46,333
-Lutetia, tomorrow.
-Oh, yeah. Sure.

173
00:07:47,125 --> 00:07:49,541
[Getafix] Hey.
Easy does it with the sauce.

174
00:07:49,625 --> 00:07:54,083
-Why? I'm giving thanks to Toutatis.
-In Lutetia, it's only vegetables.

175
00:07:54,166 --> 00:07:57,791
Come on, it's just fat.
It's never hurt anyone, has it? No.

176
00:07:57,875 --> 00:08:00,208
-[chanting] Offerings!
-Oh. Huh?

177
00:08:00,291 --> 00:08:02,583
-Offerings!
-Okay, all right.

178
00:08:03,083 --> 00:08:05,666
[laughs] Now whose is this offering?

179
00:08:05,750 --> 00:08:07,750
[all laugh]

180
00:08:08,458 --> 00:08:10,125
-[woman 1] Speech!
-[woman 2] Obelix!

181
00:08:10,208 --> 00:08:12,583
-[man] Speech!
-[woman 3] Obelix, give us a speech!

182
00:08:12,666 --> 00:08:14,125
Come on then!

183
00:08:17,625 --> 00:08:18,500
Er…

184
00:08:18,583 --> 00:08:20,125
[whines inquisitively]

185
00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:24,666
"This menhir…" Obelix, "This menhir…"

186
00:08:25,333 --> 00:08:26,791
[nervously] This menhir…

187
00:08:26,875 --> 00:08:28,583
-[woman] Louder!
-[man] Speak up!

188
00:08:28,666 --> 00:08:31,666
-[heart beats slowly]
-[high-pitched ringing]

189
00:08:31,750 --> 00:08:34,541
[Obelix breathes slowly]

190
00:08:34,625 --> 00:08:35,875
[heartbeat speeds up]

191
00:08:36,500 --> 00:08:38,500
[audio distorting]

192
00:08:40,041 --> 00:08:44,250
Okay, Obelix feels this menhir
is just like the unity of our village,

193
00:08:44,333 --> 00:08:45,291
solid as a rock.

194
00:08:45,375 --> 00:08:46,458
-[all cheer]
-Yeah!

195
00:08:46,541 --> 00:08:49,041
[man] Solid as a rock, that's what we are!

196
00:08:49,125 --> 00:08:50,791
[upbeat Celtic folk music resumes]

197
00:08:50,875 --> 00:08:54,583
-Thank you, Asterix.
-That's what friends are for, right?

198
00:08:55,208 --> 00:08:57,166
Mmm. [chuckles]

199
00:08:57,250 --> 00:08:59,625
[bard struggling]

200
00:08:59,708 --> 00:09:02,250
[grumbles unintelligibly]

201
00:09:04,333 --> 00:09:06,333
[gentle Hawaiian music plays]

202
00:09:11,166 --> 00:09:12,583
Potus?

203
00:09:13,458 --> 00:09:14,500
Yeah?

204
00:09:15,125 --> 00:09:17,458
Po-po-tu-tus?

205
00:09:17,541 --> 00:09:20,041
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah?

206
00:09:20,833 --> 00:09:21,875
[in male voice] Potus?

207
00:09:22,458 --> 00:09:23,791
-Huh?
-Potus!

208
00:09:23,875 --> 00:09:24,750
[yells]

209
00:09:24,833 --> 00:09:26,958
-[objects clatter]
-[horse snorts]

210
00:09:27,583 --> 00:09:28,625
Who's that?

211
00:09:29,541 --> 00:09:31,791
Oh, relief troops. Oh.

212
00:09:31,875 --> 00:09:33,375
Guys, it's the relief troops.

213
00:09:33,458 --> 00:09:35,000
[soldiers lazily] Yay.

214
00:09:35,083 --> 00:09:37,250
-Were you just under attack?
-Huh?

215
00:09:38,250 --> 00:09:41,208
Oh no, no, no.
No, it's just that yesterday,

216
00:09:41,958 --> 00:09:44,416
we celebrated 30 days
without fighting the Gauls.

217
00:09:44,500 --> 00:09:45,625
-[back cracks]
-[grunts]

218
00:09:45,708 --> 00:09:47,583
And we got all got a bit sozzled.

219
00:09:47,666 --> 00:09:51,125
-Dear me. Just as well we're here.
-Yeah, about time. Right.

220
00:09:51,708 --> 00:09:53,833
Good. Super, super.

221
00:09:54,333 --> 00:09:56,916
It's great to see you,
and it's nice to chat.

222
00:09:57,000 --> 00:09:59,875
I don't want to get in your way.
I'll hand over to you.

223
00:10:00,625 --> 00:10:01,916
All right? Ave!

224
00:10:03,708 --> 00:10:04,750
Stay where you are.

225
00:10:04,833 --> 00:10:07,791
Why? I thought
you're in command now, so I'll go.

226
00:10:07,875 --> 00:10:08,833
-Ave?
-No.

227
00:10:08,916 --> 00:10:13,541
No ave. Prepare tents for my soldiers.
You and your men are being requisitioned.

228
00:10:13,625 --> 00:10:15,416
Requisitioned? But why, sir?

229
00:10:15,500 --> 00:10:19,625
To get rid of those hairy Gauls
once and for all.

230
00:10:19,708 --> 00:10:22,541
Operation Big Fight has started.

231
00:10:22,625 --> 00:10:23,791
[snorts]

232
00:10:24,583 --> 00:10:25,666
[snorts]

233
00:10:26,458 --> 00:10:29,375
[man groans and screams]

234
00:10:29,458 --> 00:10:31,500
[man] Is someone slaughtering a wild boar?

235
00:10:31,583 --> 00:10:34,041
[woman] No, it's the bard
practising a lullaby.

236
00:10:34,125 --> 00:10:36,125
Oh, no, I'm here!

237
00:10:36,208 --> 00:10:38,958
[screams]

238
00:10:39,041 --> 00:10:41,041
Been wanting to go to Lutetia for ages.

239
00:10:41,125 --> 00:10:44,291
But no! Oh, no. Of course not.
Because he stuffed his face

240
00:10:44,375 --> 00:10:46,791
and he feels
like the sky's fallen on his head.

241
00:10:46,875 --> 00:10:48,541
[groans] Not on my head.

242
00:10:48,625 --> 00:10:50,500
Maybe more like… here?

243
00:10:50,583 --> 00:10:52,083
[screams]

244
00:10:52,666 --> 00:10:53,583
[groans]

245
00:10:53,666 --> 00:10:55,625
There you go, it's the liver.

246
00:10:55,708 --> 00:10:57,750
I didn't know that your liver could hurt.

247
00:10:58,333 --> 00:11:01,208
Impedimenta and I told you,
but you never listen.

248
00:11:01,291 --> 00:11:02,375
You ate too much.

249
00:11:02,458 --> 00:11:04,208
I didn't know you could eat too much.

250
00:11:04,291 --> 00:11:07,666
-You must cure it with a potion.
-You can't fix everything with potions.

251
00:11:07,750 --> 00:11:10,083
-I didn't know you couldn't…
-All right, Obelix.

252
00:11:10,166 --> 00:11:12,500
If you can't manage to eat less,
get some help.

253
00:11:12,583 --> 00:11:15,083
Getafix told you
who to go and see, didn't he?

254
00:11:15,166 --> 00:11:18,125
Apothika, Apothika, I know.

255
00:11:18,708 --> 00:11:20,333
I'm not going to see that quack,

256
00:11:20,416 --> 00:11:23,500
'cause there's nothing wrong with me.
I actually feel back to normal.

257
00:11:23,583 --> 00:11:25,041
-It doesn't hurt?
-Not at all.

258
00:11:25,125 --> 00:11:27,041
-You sure?
-[screams]

259
00:11:28,625 --> 00:11:30,291
Ooh, can I press there as well?

260
00:11:30,375 --> 00:11:31,541
[screams]

261
00:11:31,625 --> 00:11:32,875
[whimpers] Oh, no…

262
00:11:32,958 --> 00:11:34,666
-No, Obelix, don't touch.
-Touch what?

263
00:11:34,750 --> 00:11:35,750
-Well, that.
-No…

264
00:11:35,833 --> 00:11:37,458
[screams]

265
00:11:38,041 --> 00:11:40,666
Be careful, children.
His liver's not a Roman road.

266
00:11:40,750 --> 00:11:41,708
[Dogmatix barks]

267
00:11:42,416 --> 00:11:44,708
Come here, Dogmatix!
Come here, little doggie.

268
00:11:44,791 --> 00:11:47,541
No, no, no. [screams]

269
00:11:47,625 --> 00:11:49,458
[groans]

270
00:11:49,541 --> 00:11:51,500
Fine, enough. Drink this.

271
00:11:52,250 --> 00:11:53,208
Ah…

272
00:11:55,041 --> 00:11:56,000
Thank you.

273
00:11:56,083 --> 00:11:59,250
Join me in Lutetia if you feel better,
'cause I am going.

274
00:11:59,333 --> 00:12:02,500
But Pidiped, you can't go
to Lutetia on your own.

275
00:12:02,583 --> 00:12:04,000
The journey there isn't safe…

276
00:12:04,083 --> 00:12:07,083
-Getafix will give me some magic potion.
-But there isn't any more.

277
00:12:07,166 --> 00:12:08,791
Then make some more!

278
00:12:08,875 --> 00:12:10,333
-[door slams]
-[Dogmatix whines]

279
00:12:14,166 --> 00:12:16,166
[Vitalstatistix screams]

280
00:12:17,166 --> 00:12:20,375
[Metadata] So, the VIP box could be… here.

281
00:12:20,958 --> 00:12:22,958
Great, we can see the village already.

282
00:12:23,041 --> 00:12:26,625
What squalor. I'd burn it all down
without a second thought.

283
00:12:26,708 --> 00:12:28,125
Yeah, but that's not the plan.

284
00:12:28,208 --> 00:12:31,625
Okay, so, step one. We give the Gauls
one more chance to surrender.

285
00:12:32,208 --> 00:12:34,458
-How about we just jump to step two?
-[sighs]

286
00:12:34,541 --> 00:12:38,125
In step two, we find a Gallo-Roman chief
to fight Vitalstatistix.

287
00:12:38,208 --> 00:12:41,625
In step three, he wins the Big Fight,
the Gauls become Gallo-Romans,

288
00:12:41,708 --> 00:12:42,916
victory to Caesar!

289
00:12:44,916 --> 00:12:47,083
Okay, it kinda feels

290
00:12:47,166 --> 00:12:50,416
like we just skipped step two-B,
where they don't drink magic potion,

291
00:12:50,500 --> 00:12:52,375
because that really is the main problem.

292
00:12:53,375 --> 00:12:56,958
Hmm. So, isolate the druid
during the fight.

293
00:12:57,041 --> 00:13:00,125
No druid, no magic potion. Easy as A-V-E.

294
00:13:00,208 --> 00:13:03,750
-Metadata, how much should we clear?
-The lot. You must clear it all.

295
00:13:03,833 --> 00:13:06,000
-Come on then. Let's get started.
-No, hang on!

296
00:13:06,083 --> 00:13:07,416
Do we need to cut them all?

297
00:13:07,500 --> 00:13:10,041
So, what do we do now?

298
00:13:10,125 --> 00:13:11,833
We'll do what she said.

299
00:13:11,916 --> 00:13:13,500
We will isolate the druid.

300
00:13:14,083 --> 00:13:17,000
But for evermore, in the earth.

301
00:13:17,083 --> 00:13:19,666
Take a few men with you.
You will take care of it now.

302
00:13:19,750 --> 00:13:22,000
-Me?
-What are you waiting for?!

303
00:13:22,083 --> 00:13:23,375
[snorts]

304
00:13:23,458 --> 00:13:25,916
We'll end up
with two indomitable villages.

305
00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:27,750
I can see it a mile off.

306
00:13:28,458 --> 00:13:29,750
[flies buzzing]

307
00:13:29,833 --> 00:13:31,166
So what's that one?

308
00:13:31,250 --> 00:13:33,000
That one there is a catfish.

309
00:13:33,083 --> 00:13:34,750
-Mmm.
-Ooh, no, no. Sorry.

310
00:13:34,833 --> 00:13:36,375
That one's actually sea bream.

311
00:13:36,458 --> 00:13:39,000
Unhygienix, are you sure
your fish aren't stale?

312
00:13:39,083 --> 00:13:41,666
You're joking? I picked them up
on the beach last week.

313
00:13:41,750 --> 00:13:43,416
I stuck to the lukewarm chain.

314
00:13:43,500 --> 00:13:45,541
So you can eat them
till the cows come home.

315
00:13:45,625 --> 00:13:49,500
-Hmm. There's a lot of flies though.
-No, I won't charge you for them.

316
00:13:49,583 --> 00:13:51,083
Hang on. Getafix?

317
00:13:51,166 --> 00:13:53,958
-Do you sell wild boar?
-No, I only sell fish.

318
00:13:54,541 --> 00:13:57,375
-Shame.
-You know, I wouldn't mind, believe me.

319
00:13:57,458 --> 00:13:58,791
But you have to specialise.

320
00:13:59,416 --> 00:14:01,791
-Where are you heading, o druid?
-To the forest.

321
00:14:01,875 --> 00:14:04,083
I'm going to look for ingredients
for the potion,

322
00:14:04,166 --> 00:14:06,125
since it seems that's all I'm good for.

323
00:14:06,208 --> 00:14:09,000
-I'll go with you.
-No, you won't, thank you.

324
00:14:09,083 --> 00:14:11,125
A bit of solitude will do me good.

325
00:14:12,916 --> 00:14:13,875
Right.

326
00:14:13,958 --> 00:14:17,125
You know, I get why he wants
to be alone for a while.

327
00:14:17,208 --> 00:14:19,875
-Hmm?
-When you see the same faces every day.

328
00:14:19,958 --> 00:14:22,833
I'm so thankful we're surrounded
by the Romans, or else, I…

329
00:14:22,916 --> 00:14:25,500
-You'd suffocate? Mmm.
-That's exactly what I mean.

330
00:14:27,500 --> 00:14:29,791
[soldier 1] Hey! Amazing camouflage.

331
00:14:29,875 --> 00:14:31,166
Seriously. Well done.

332
00:14:31,250 --> 00:14:33,666
[soldier 2] Oh, thanks,
that's very kind of you.

333
00:14:33,750 --> 00:14:35,666
And those acorns. [chuckles]

334
00:14:35,750 --> 00:14:36,750
Great idea.

335
00:14:36,833 --> 00:14:41,166
Well, I thought, oak tree forest… acorns.
It kinda makes sense, you know?

336
00:14:41,250 --> 00:14:42,666
-I mean…
-Oh yeah, it sure does.

337
00:14:42,750 --> 00:14:45,666
Had it been a chestnut tree forest,
I'd have used chestnuts.

338
00:14:45,750 --> 00:14:47,125
Of course, yeah, yeah.

339
00:14:47,208 --> 00:14:49,583
But since they are oak trees,
I went for acorns…

340
00:14:49,666 --> 00:14:51,875
Shhh! Shut up. They're gonna spot us.

341
00:14:52,500 --> 00:14:55,083
Okay, follow me. In silence.

342
00:14:55,166 --> 00:14:57,333
By Mercury, Mars, Juno and Jupiter.

343
00:14:59,041 --> 00:15:01,625
Hey, we have too many gods, don't we?

344
00:15:01,708 --> 00:15:03,250
I think so.

345
00:15:03,333 --> 00:15:07,000
-We should pick one and stick with that.
-What, one god for everything?

346
00:15:07,083 --> 00:15:10,208
A god of war, god of the earth,
god of the sea, god of the harvest?

347
00:15:10,291 --> 00:15:11,875
That's a big job, don't you think?

348
00:15:11,958 --> 00:15:13,958
-[soldier 2] Maybe not for the harvest.
-Oh.

349
00:15:14,041 --> 00:15:17,541
I mean, we are talking about a god,
but they could be a goddess too, because…

350
00:15:17,625 --> 00:15:20,041
-[Potus groans] Shut up!
-We'll carry on later.

351
00:15:20,708 --> 00:15:23,708
[Obelix whistles and hums]

352
00:15:24,666 --> 00:15:28,375
[Asterix breathes deeply]
Thinking what I'm thinking, Obelix?

353
00:15:28,458 --> 00:15:31,708
Yep. Unhygienix, our fishmonger,
should also sell wild boar.

354
00:15:31,791 --> 00:15:36,666
No, no. No, I'm worried about our druid
out there all alone in the forest.

355
00:15:36,750 --> 00:15:38,625
Right, I'm going. You coming too?

356
00:15:39,375 --> 00:15:42,875
Yeah. I'll finish this later.
It's not an urgent order.

357
00:15:45,875 --> 00:15:48,083
But are you…
Aren't you leaving your menhir here?

358
00:15:48,166 --> 00:15:50,166
I don't wanna a kid to pinch it!

359
00:15:50,666 --> 00:15:53,333
[gently suspenseful classical music plays]

360
00:15:53,416 --> 00:15:56,541
Of course, not one of them asking,
"Getafix, are you tired?"

361
00:15:56,625 --> 00:16:00,000
"Do you want to rest?" No, of course not.

362
00:16:00,083 --> 00:16:03,291
"Our druid Getafix is here
to heal everyone, 24 hours a day."

363
00:16:03,375 --> 00:16:04,541
That's how it is.

364
00:16:05,125 --> 00:16:06,583
Oh, what a beauty!

365
00:16:11,500 --> 00:16:12,333
There.

366
00:16:13,208 --> 00:16:14,166
So…

367
00:16:14,833 --> 00:16:18,458
Four-leaf clover, four-leaf clover.

368
00:16:18,541 --> 00:16:21,708
Four-leaf clover.
No, that's a five-toe foot.

369
00:16:22,208 --> 00:16:23,041
A foot?

370
00:16:23,125 --> 00:16:24,250
Capture him!

371
00:16:28,250 --> 00:16:31,791
[Obelix] Okay, listen.
Unhygienix won't sell wild boar.

372
00:16:31,875 --> 00:16:33,541
That's his right. We can't make him.

373
00:16:33,625 --> 00:16:35,333
-That's the end of it.
-[Asterix] Hmm.

374
00:16:35,416 --> 00:16:38,958
[Obelix] I think it'd be fair
for those villagers who don't like fish…

375
00:16:39,041 --> 00:16:39,875
[Asterix] Ah.

376
00:16:39,958 --> 00:16:43,083
…for there to be,
I don't know, some kind of place

377
00:16:43,166 --> 00:16:47,166
for them to sell, exchange,
trade wild boars, for instance.

378
00:16:47,250 --> 00:16:49,625
-[Asterix] Hmm.
-I'm thinking aloud, you know.

379
00:16:49,708 --> 00:16:52,500
Yes, so actually,
just like a fish shop, there would be…

380
00:16:52,583 --> 00:16:54,583
-A wild boar shop.
-Okay, right.

381
00:16:54,666 --> 00:16:55,791
Yeah. You know?

382
00:16:55,875 --> 00:16:57,750
-Understood. Mmm.
-Yeah. [laughs]

383
00:16:57,833 --> 00:16:59,875
-For all those who don't like fish.
-Yes.

384
00:16:59,958 --> 00:17:01,416
-There's a lot of us.
-Mm-hmm.

385
00:17:01,500 --> 00:17:02,666
-Me for a start.
-Hmm.

386
00:17:02,750 --> 00:17:03,666
-Dogmatix.
-[yaps]

387
00:17:03,750 --> 00:17:08,041
Yeah, but hang on a moment.
So, you'd sell menhirs and wild boar?

388
00:17:08,125 --> 00:17:11,125
I don't know. Maybe.
We should just think on it.

389
00:17:11,208 --> 00:17:14,125
-[Getafix] Let go of me! Let go of me!
-[gasps]

390
00:17:14,208 --> 00:17:16,750
-Let go of me, you Romans!
-Hold him!

391
00:17:16,833 --> 00:17:18,750
-[grunts]
-Ouch! He bit me!

392
00:17:18,833 --> 00:17:21,250
-Ow! The druid kicked me in the head!
-Come on!

393
00:17:21,333 --> 00:17:22,458
[Dogmatix barks]

394
00:17:23,041 --> 00:17:25,375
-Getafix!
-The Gauls are here!

395
00:17:25,458 --> 00:17:27,416
-Retreat!
-[barking]

396
00:17:27,500 --> 00:17:28,916
[dramatic music plays]

397
00:17:29,583 --> 00:17:31,916
-Whoa, oh!
-I'll get rid of 'em for you.

398
00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:34,000
-Mind out.
-No, Obelix, no!

399
00:17:41,833 --> 00:17:42,791
Oh!

400
00:17:42,875 --> 00:17:44,916
[sombre music plays]

401
00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:46,208
[barking]

402
00:17:47,125 --> 00:17:48,166
[Dogmatix whines]

403
00:17:49,708 --> 00:17:53,916
Seriously, Obelix? Oh, bravo!
Bravo! Good idea. Speechless.

404
00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:55,708
I got rid of those Romans, didn't I?

405
00:17:55,791 --> 00:17:59,000
Yeah, and you flattened our druid
in the process! You're so clumsy!

406
00:17:59,083 --> 00:18:01,541
I'm clumsy? I'm clumsy?!

407
00:18:01,625 --> 00:18:05,708
It's Mr Asterix who dropped
the magic potion and is clumsy! So there!

408
00:18:05,791 --> 00:18:10,208
Oh! Well, we can't all fall into it
like Mr Obelix did when he was little boy!

409
00:18:10,291 --> 00:18:14,208
'Cause Mr Asterix had nothing
to do with that, did he?

410
00:18:14,291 --> 00:18:16,208
That is unrelated, it's completely…

411
00:18:16,291 --> 00:18:17,500
-[Dogmatix whines]
-Huh?

412
00:18:19,125 --> 00:18:21,166
Come. Let's get him out from under there.

413
00:18:21,875 --> 00:18:22,916
[whines]

414
00:18:25,458 --> 00:18:26,458
[sighs]

415
00:18:28,541 --> 00:18:29,750
Getafix?

416
00:18:33,625 --> 00:18:35,541
What do you mean mission accomplished?

417
00:18:35,625 --> 00:18:39,500
Well, to cut a long story short,
we got there, looked around,

418
00:18:39,583 --> 00:18:42,458
found a spot, then we hid,
nanani, nananoum…

419
00:18:42,541 --> 00:18:44,375
And then, who showed up?

420
00:18:44,458 --> 00:18:46,125
Only the druid!

421
00:18:46,208 --> 00:18:49,291
And so I shouted, "Capture him!"

422
00:18:49,375 --> 00:18:51,125
Wham, bam, boom!

423
00:18:51,208 --> 00:18:54,375
With a branch, with a stump, and a bam!
I don't mess about.

424
00:18:54,458 --> 00:18:56,416
Ask anyone, they know what I'm like.

425
00:18:56,500 --> 00:18:59,083
Anyway, mission accomplished,
and we left him for dead.

426
00:18:59,166 --> 00:19:02,333
Dead? But I just said
to get him out of the way!

427
00:19:02,416 --> 00:19:04,250
-Who told you…
-I did!

428
00:19:04,333 --> 00:19:05,750
But, uncle, what for?

429
00:19:05,833 --> 00:19:07,750
Did you not listen to Caesar?

430
00:19:07,833 --> 00:19:10,375
I handle logistics,
you take care of the show.

431
00:19:10,458 --> 00:19:12,000
So, I handle the druid.

432
00:19:12,083 --> 00:19:14,291
You focus on event management.

433
00:19:15,291 --> 00:19:16,958
-Well done, Potus.
-Well…

434
00:19:17,041 --> 00:19:20,041
-Huh? That's my Tutus.
-Ah, thank you. [chuckles]

435
00:19:20,125 --> 00:19:21,708
-Good Tutus, huh?
-Well, now…

436
00:19:21,791 --> 00:19:23,291
Tutus to my Furius.

437
00:19:23,375 --> 00:19:25,833
We're a team
and that's just how we are, you know?

438
00:19:25,916 --> 00:19:29,333
Now we have to find
our Gallo-Roman champion.

439
00:19:29,416 --> 00:19:33,041
I might know just the chap.
Strong as an ox and loyal to Rome.

440
00:19:33,125 --> 00:19:34,458
Loyal to Rome?

441
00:19:34,541 --> 00:19:36,750
Yes, sir. He's a diamond.

442
00:19:36,833 --> 00:19:39,125
I want more of those columns!

443
00:19:39,208 --> 00:19:43,083
But mighty Chief Cassius Ceramix,
don't we have enough columns already?

444
00:19:43,166 --> 00:19:44,333
I want more!

445
00:19:44,958 --> 00:19:49,833
We have to be more colonized!
I want this village to become a mini Rome.

446
00:19:49,916 --> 00:19:51,416
A mini Rome, coming up!

447
00:19:51,500 --> 00:19:54,375
And we need to have names
ending in "us", like the Romans!

448
00:19:54,458 --> 00:19:56,875
Names ending in "us".
What a great idea, chief!

449
00:19:56,958 --> 00:19:58,791
We should stay a bit Gallic though.

450
00:19:58,875 --> 00:20:01,125
-No!
-No, I really like the new style.

451
00:20:01,208 --> 00:20:05,250
We are Gallo-Romans,
by Jupiter and Toutatis!

452
00:20:05,333 --> 00:20:09,250
Oh, yeah! From today, Tenmillionclix,
you are Tenmillionviews.

453
00:20:09,333 --> 00:20:12,083
-Oof.
-What about me, chief, what's my new name?

454
00:20:12,166 --> 00:20:14,666
Ah, yours can wait, Sycophantix.

455
00:20:14,750 --> 00:20:15,833
Okay.

456
00:20:17,458 --> 00:20:18,875
[bearers grunt]

457
00:20:18,958 --> 00:20:23,125
[Sycophantix] So we've got a mini Rome,
more columns, names ending in "us".

458
00:20:23,208 --> 00:20:25,541
-[Cassius] And an aqueduct!
-An aqueduct, okay.

459
00:20:25,625 --> 00:20:27,791
They're nice, very Roman.
and for the last time,

460
00:20:27,875 --> 00:20:29,833
cut your braids and your moustache!

461
00:20:29,916 --> 00:20:31,833
But with no braids, I won't be virile.

462
00:20:31,916 --> 00:20:34,583
And no moustache,
there's this great big space here,

463
00:20:34,666 --> 00:20:37,083
between my nose and my mouth… [screams]

464
00:20:37,166 --> 00:20:38,541
Enough of his lip.

465
00:20:38,625 --> 00:20:39,916
[groans]

466
00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:43,208
[bombastic fanfare plays]

467
00:20:43,291 --> 00:20:44,875
Ah! Ave!

468
00:20:44,958 --> 00:20:47,041
Welcome, beloved invaders!

469
00:20:47,125 --> 00:20:48,291
Ave.

470
00:20:48,375 --> 00:20:51,791
Can we also invade your home
so we can talk there, Cassius Ceramix?

471
00:20:51,875 --> 00:20:54,500
Call me Cassius, won't you?
It's less Gallic.

472
00:20:54,583 --> 00:20:56,333
It's an honour. Veni, veni.

473
00:20:57,083 --> 00:20:59,875
This Gaul here is just how I like them.

474
00:21:00,708 --> 00:21:03,125
There isn't much here I'd call Gallic.

475
00:21:03,208 --> 00:21:07,458
You should have told me you were coming.
I'd have put on some games.

476
00:21:08,875 --> 00:21:12,791
There. Not as good as Roman wine,
but I like the name.

477
00:21:12,875 --> 00:21:14,041
Chatopetrus.

478
00:21:14,125 --> 00:21:17,666
Cassius Ceramix,
are you familiar with the Big Fight?

479
00:21:17,750 --> 00:21:19,541
A silly Gallic tradition.

480
00:21:19,625 --> 00:21:22,791
-Yeah. Why?
-We'd like you to fight a Gallic chief.

481
00:21:22,875 --> 00:21:26,208
Take over his clan when you claim victory.
Think you can do that?

482
00:21:27,125 --> 00:21:28,375
[chuckles]

483
00:21:28,458 --> 00:21:29,708
Do you doubt me?

484
00:21:29,791 --> 00:21:31,958
Seriously, is that a real question?

485
00:21:32,041 --> 00:21:34,458
I am the best, by Vulcan!

486
00:21:34,541 --> 00:21:35,750
Let me show you.

487
00:21:35,833 --> 00:21:37,041
[bold music plays]

488
00:21:37,125 --> 00:21:38,500
[grunting]

489
00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:43,000
[chicken squawks]

490
00:21:44,083 --> 00:21:45,208
[camera shutter clicks]

491
00:21:47,458 --> 00:21:49,041
[grunting]

492
00:21:51,291 --> 00:21:52,916
-[bird squawks]
-[pottery shatters]

493
00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:54,416
[horse whinnies]

494
00:21:54,500 --> 00:21:56,500
-[metal clangs]
-[pottery shatters]

495
00:21:56,583 --> 00:21:57,791
[growls]

496
00:21:57,875 --> 00:21:59,333
[music peaks, stops]

497
00:22:00,041 --> 00:22:02,208
I will crush him like a grape!

498
00:22:02,291 --> 00:22:04,333
Who is this chief? It'll be carnage.

499
00:22:04,416 --> 00:22:05,666
Vitalstatistix.

500
00:22:07,125 --> 00:22:08,750
Vitalstatistix?

501
00:22:08,833 --> 00:22:10,708
But, er, it'll be carnage!

502
00:22:10,791 --> 00:22:12,958
That magic potion gives him
superhuman strength.

503
00:22:13,041 --> 00:22:14,458
Do not panic.

504
00:22:14,541 --> 00:22:17,375
Well, of course, I'll panic!
I'm really worried.

505
00:22:17,458 --> 00:22:19,291
There's no more magic potion.

506
00:22:19,375 --> 00:22:20,958
[suspenseful music plays]

507
00:22:21,041 --> 00:22:22,250
No magic potion?

508
00:22:22,333 --> 00:22:24,583
No druid, no potion, trust me.

509
00:22:24,666 --> 00:22:27,125
You'll make mincemeat of Vitalstatistix.

510
00:22:27,791 --> 00:22:30,500
After, you might even challenge
other chiefs.

511
00:22:30,583 --> 00:22:35,625
And one day, you could rule over them all.
All of the Gallic clans, if you so wish.

512
00:22:35,708 --> 00:22:38,833
You'd be a general ruling over Gaul.

513
00:22:39,333 --> 00:22:40,583
Mmm.

514
00:22:41,333 --> 00:22:44,000
General de Gaul.

515
00:22:46,291 --> 00:22:49,458
Ah, the remedy Getafix gave me
cured me, Pidiped.

516
00:22:49,541 --> 00:22:51,666
So come on, we're off to Lutetia.

517
00:22:51,750 --> 00:22:54,291
-One drink, and then we'll go.
-[gasps]

518
00:22:54,958 --> 00:22:57,458
What? We're leaving right away?

519
00:22:57,541 --> 00:22:59,458
[ominous music plays]

520
00:22:59,541 --> 00:23:00,583
[gasps]

521
00:23:07,875 --> 00:23:11,666
I threw the menhir but as menhirs go,
it was a very small one.

522
00:23:11,750 --> 00:23:14,000
-No need to make a big dolmen out of it.
-[gasps]

523
00:23:14,083 --> 00:23:15,541
Shh, shh, shh, he's awake.

524
00:23:15,625 --> 00:23:19,041
See, there you go. I was just saying
that menhirs aren't dangerous.

525
00:23:19,125 --> 00:23:21,875
-Getafix, how are you feeling?
-I feel great.

526
00:23:22,458 --> 00:23:23,541
Thank you, madam.

527
00:23:24,083 --> 00:23:24,916
Madam?

528
00:23:25,500 --> 00:23:27,416
But it's me, Impedimenta.

529
00:23:27,500 --> 00:23:28,916
Enchanté.

530
00:23:30,375 --> 00:23:33,625
Okay, hang on, hang on.
Getafix, do you know me?

531
00:23:34,250 --> 00:23:36,958
It… It is me, Asterix.

532
00:23:37,708 --> 00:23:39,833
[laughs]

533
00:23:39,916 --> 00:23:41,750
What a big nose. [giggles]

534
00:23:41,833 --> 00:23:45,083
By Belenus, our druid Getafix
has lost his memory.

535
00:23:45,166 --> 00:23:46,916
And we're out of magic potion.

536
00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:48,291
Magic potion?

537
00:23:48,375 --> 00:23:50,375
Yes. Do you remember the recipe?

538
00:23:50,875 --> 00:23:51,708
No.

539
00:23:51,791 --> 00:23:52,750
[sighs]

540
00:23:52,833 --> 00:23:54,541
But we can ask him.

541
00:23:54,625 --> 00:23:56,125
Er, ask who?

542
00:23:56,208 --> 00:23:57,291
Mr Beardix.

543
00:23:59,041 --> 00:24:00,916
Hello, Mr Beardix.

544
00:24:01,000 --> 00:24:02,500
Hello!

545
00:24:02,583 --> 00:24:05,250
-How are you feeling, Mr Beardix?
-Hairy good.

546
00:24:05,333 --> 00:24:09,333
Do you know the recipe
for the magic potion, Mr Beardix?

547
00:24:09,416 --> 00:24:10,291
Hmm.

548
00:24:11,250 --> 00:24:12,083
No!

549
00:24:12,166 --> 00:24:16,166
But I do know the recipe
for having a good old laugh!

550
00:24:16,250 --> 00:24:17,750
Ah, tell us then.

551
00:24:17,833 --> 00:24:22,958
Repeat after me.
When I say "beard", you say "ix".

552
00:24:23,458 --> 00:24:24,458
Beard…

553
00:24:25,041 --> 00:24:25,916
Ix.

554
00:24:26,500 --> 00:24:27,500
Beard…

555
00:24:27,583 --> 00:24:30,416
He's crazy. He's completely crazy.

556
00:24:30,500 --> 00:24:32,958
[screaming] Come on! It's easy!

557
00:24:33,041 --> 00:24:34,083
Beard!

558
00:24:34,166 --> 00:24:35,750
By Toutatis, we are doomed.

559
00:24:36,541 --> 00:24:37,833
Ix!

560
00:24:39,291 --> 00:24:41,708
[lively classical theme music plays]

561
00:25:12,291 --> 00:25:14,791
ASTERIX and OBELIX: THE BIG FIGHT

562
00:25:52,583 --> 00:25:55,666
[musical arrangement turns
sweeping and gentle]

563
00:27:32,833 --> 00:27:35,625
[musical arrangement turns suspenseful]

564
00:28:16,416 --> 00:28:18,416
[lively Celtic folk music plays]


