1 00:00:01,235 --> 00:00:05,366 It is 6:00 a.m., and Deangelo and I are about to go house to house 2 00:00:05,439 --> 00:00:08,068 to give everybody their Dundies nomination certificate. 3 00:00:08,141 --> 00:00:09,973 Just like the Oscars. Yes. 4 00:00:10,043 --> 00:00:11,602 And this happens every year? 5 00:00:11,678 --> 00:00:13,544 Every year this happens. Okay. Every year. 6 00:00:13,614 --> 00:00:15,708 You have a lot to learn, my friend. 7 00:00:16,717 --> 00:00:18,481 Well, you know, why don't we try it, 8 00:00:18,552 --> 00:00:21,112 and if it goes good, it'll be part of my tradition. 9 00:00:21,188 --> 00:00:23,817 Why are you even saying that? You're going to love it. 10 00:00:24,591 --> 00:00:26,287 Here we go. 11 00:00:27,961 --> 00:00:29,589 This way, this way. 12 00:00:32,332 --> 00:00:33,960 Okay. Nice house. 13 00:00:34,601 --> 00:00:36,194 Surprise! Congratulations! 14 00:00:36,270 --> 00:00:37,363 Yep. 15 00:00:37,671 --> 00:00:41,369 You and Pam have both been nominated for Dundie Awards. 16 00:00:41,608 --> 00:00:42,598 Okay. 17 00:00:42,709 --> 00:00:44,439 Here we go. 18 00:00:44,511 --> 00:00:46,241 MICHAEL: Have Pam come down. No, no, she's not here. 19 00:00:46,413 --> 00:00:47,437 PAM: What's going on? 20 00:00:47,581 --> 00:00:48,605 Stay in bed. 21 00:00:48,916 --> 00:00:50,578 Congratulations! Stanley, we love you. 22 00:00:50,684 --> 00:00:54,678 Have you lost your mind? Get off my property before I call the police. 23 00:00:56,223 --> 00:00:57,589 All right, we got it. Good. Okay. 24 00:00:57,691 --> 00:00:58,681 Leave it at the door? Okay. 25 00:00:58,759 --> 00:00:59,783 Yeah, that's fine. 26 00:01:06,533 --> 00:01:07,967 Hey, Toby, you suck! 27 00:01:09,836 --> 00:01:11,099 Is this an employee of ours? 28 00:01:11,171 --> 00:01:12,298 29 00:01:12,673 --> 00:01:14,335 Why are... Go, go, go, go, go, go, go! 30 00:01:14,808 --> 00:01:17,141 I've never seen this place in the daylight. 31 00:01:17,277 --> 00:01:19,610 This reminds me of Katrina. 32 00:01:21,181 --> 00:01:24,015 Here we go. All right. 33 00:01:24,084 --> 00:01:27,452 Got it? Are we set? Hello? 34 00:01:29,389 --> 00:01:30,413 Oh. Uh-oh. 35 00:01:30,490 --> 00:01:32,925 I'm so busted. Walk of shame. 36 00:01:33,527 --> 00:01:35,928 Do you usually leave your door unlocked? And ajar? 37 00:01:37,497 --> 00:01:39,659 Nice. I got a Dundie nomination. Wow. 38 00:01:39,733 --> 00:01:41,292 Yes, that's right. Yes, you did. 39 00:01:41,368 --> 00:01:43,337 No big deal. Congratulations, Meredith. 40 00:01:43,403 --> 00:01:44,803 Well, we should head out. 41 00:01:44,871 --> 00:01:46,066 No, no, no, you've got to stay. 42 00:01:46,139 --> 00:01:48,836 No, no, no, I have Vienna sausages and I have napkins. 43 00:01:48,909 --> 00:01:50,878 Let me fix you breakfast. 44 00:01:51,812 --> 00:01:53,713 I'm not going in there. 45 00:01:56,950 --> 00:01:57,974 Go. 46 00:02:13,233 --> 00:02:14,326 Good morning, Erin. 47 00:02:14,468 --> 00:02:15,595 Oh, hey, didn't see you. 48 00:02:15,836 --> 00:02:17,031 Any big plans for tonight? 49 00:02:17,104 --> 00:02:18,163 I don't know. 50 00:02:18,238 --> 00:02:21,231 Maybe volunteer at the women's shelter, go to bed. 51 00:02:21,441 --> 00:02:23,000 Or, I don't know, 52 00:02:23,443 --> 00:02:26,242 maybe I'm going to the Dundies! 53 00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:27,470 54 00:02:27,948 --> 00:02:30,713 You are getting so funny. Very good. 55 00:02:32,252 --> 00:02:35,586 The Dundies are my baby, and they need to go on. 56 00:02:38,525 --> 00:02:41,359 When Larry King died, they didn't just cancel his show. 57 00:02:41,428 --> 00:02:44,887 They got Pierce Morgan to come in and do his show, 58 00:02:44,965 --> 00:02:48,026 and that way, Larry lives on. 59 00:02:51,171 --> 00:02:52,696 Anything can happen at the Dundies. 60 00:02:52,773 --> 00:02:53,797 61 00:02:53,874 --> 00:02:56,173 They're like the Golden Globes, but less mean. 62 00:02:56,343 --> 00:02:58,209 And I just want us to all have a good time. 63 00:02:58,278 --> 00:02:59,644 Just a little announcement, folks. 64 00:02:59,713 --> 00:03:02,182 Remember, the Dundies is a black tie affair. 65 00:03:02,582 --> 00:03:04,016 Black tie optional. 66 00:03:04,451 --> 00:03:06,352 Every day is black tie optional. 67 00:03:06,420 --> 00:03:10,084 FYI, tonight we will be hosting at Louie Volpe's. 68 00:03:10,157 --> 00:03:11,750 Nice. I love their breadsticks. 69 00:03:11,825 --> 00:03:13,418 Oh, their breadsticks are like crack. 70 00:03:13,560 --> 00:03:15,119 I love when people say "like crack" 71 00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:16,823 who've obviously never done crack. 72 00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:18,931 Well, the breadsticks are like what then, Ryan? 73 00:03:18,999 --> 00:03:20,900 What can I use? I don't know. Something from your world. 74 00:03:20,967 --> 00:03:22,526 "The breadsticks are like scrapbooking." 75 00:03:22,602 --> 00:03:24,798 You're right, you're right. No, I'm a middle-class fraud. 76 00:03:24,871 --> 00:03:26,430 MICHAEL: Shh. Okay, okay, okay. 77 00:03:26,506 --> 00:03:29,806 Everybody's right. They're like breadsticks on steroids. 78 00:03:29,876 --> 00:03:31,435 Right? Yeah, that's great. 79 00:03:31,678 --> 00:03:33,738 So, as you know, the Dundies are my legacy, 80 00:03:33,814 --> 00:03:35,544 so I'm going to need to train a replacement. 81 00:03:35,615 --> 00:03:38,278 So this year, I have decided to have a co-host. 82 00:03:39,052 --> 00:03:40,748 And that person is 83 00:03:40,821 --> 00:03:42,187 84 00:03:43,557 --> 00:03:45,082 Deangelo! 85 00:03:46,827 --> 00:03:49,422 Always the Padawan, never the Jedi. 86 00:03:49,796 --> 00:03:53,494 Thank you, Michael. Uh, but I will have to pass. 87 00:03:54,901 --> 00:03:56,062 Think of it as part of your training. 88 00:03:56,136 --> 00:03:57,570 I'm not much of a performer. 89 00:03:57,637 --> 00:03:59,265 Unless you count singing in the shower. 90 00:04:01,441 --> 00:04:02,909 Boy, okay. 91 00:04:03,477 --> 00:04:05,309 Okay, well, we'll work on it. 92 00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:07,673 Look, I'm very, very bad. 93 00:04:07,748 --> 00:04:09,216 Very bad. You are doing it. 94 00:04:09,282 --> 00:04:11,808 Guys, I want you to help us work on some banter. 95 00:04:12,052 --> 00:04:13,850 Yes! I love banter. 96 00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:14,910 Good. 97 00:04:14,988 --> 00:04:17,184 But I hate witty banter. MICHAEL: Here we go. 98 00:04:18,225 --> 00:04:21,525 So, Deangelo, you and I have a lot in common. 99 00:04:21,728 --> 00:04:25,893 You lost 200 pounds, and I lose my car keys every morning. 100 00:04:25,966 --> 00:04:27,025 101 00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:30,195 That is true. We do share some similarities. 102 00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:32,933 I know how we can fix one of those problems. 103 00:04:33,006 --> 00:04:34,338 For me, it was portion control. 104 00:04:34,407 --> 00:04:36,239 For you, you need a keychain. 105 00:04:37,344 --> 00:04:38,869 Maybe hang them on the... Okay, okay, you know what? 106 00:04:38,945 --> 00:04:40,379 I didn't actually lose my keys. 107 00:04:40,647 --> 00:04:41,671 Okay, so this did not happen. 108 00:04:41,815 --> 00:04:42,839 M'kay. 109 00:04:42,916 --> 00:04:46,045 There needs to be what you call a "rat-tat-tat." 110 00:04:46,186 --> 00:04:48,678 And right now, it's all "rat" and no "tat." 111 00:04:48,755 --> 00:04:49,848 Ryan, come on up here. 112 00:04:49,923 --> 00:04:51,516 Deangelo, if you'd just... Do you mind? 113 00:04:51,591 --> 00:04:53,526 Tap Deangelo out. Because if I can see it. 114 00:04:53,593 --> 00:04:54,788 Just watch this. Okay. 115 00:04:55,762 --> 00:04:56,957 Ryan, how are you today? 116 00:04:57,030 --> 00:04:58,191 Why don't you ask my therapist? 117 00:04:58,331 --> 00:04:59,526 My mom certainly pays her enough. 118 00:04:59,599 --> 00:05:02,000 There you go! Lovely! 119 00:05:02,269 --> 00:05:04,500 Regis and Kelly. Nice. 120 00:05:04,571 --> 00:05:07,166 Use that as an inspiration. Just be funny. 121 00:05:07,908 --> 00:05:10,434 Uh... You, sir. Are we having fun tonight? 122 00:05:10,677 --> 00:05:12,270 Having a great time. Thanks, yeah. Oh, good. 123 00:05:12,679 --> 00:05:13,908 Where were you on September 11th? 124 00:05:13,980 --> 00:05:16,040 No, gosh. No, no. 125 00:05:16,283 --> 00:05:18,081 MICHAEL: Stop, stop. DEANGELO: This is so weird. 126 00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:20,450 If I'm conducting a meeting, good to go. 127 00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:23,786 But if I think of it as a performance, I fall apart, obviously. 128 00:05:24,124 --> 00:05:25,649 Why don't you think of hosting the Dundies 129 00:05:25,792 --> 00:05:27,317 like you're just running a meeting? 130 00:05:27,394 --> 00:05:30,489 No, no, no, this is the performance of your life. 131 00:05:30,730 --> 00:05:33,723 Why don't you just privately, in your own head, think of it like a meeting? 132 00:05:33,867 --> 00:05:35,927 Jim, please, no loopholes. 133 00:05:36,036 --> 00:05:37,334 Mike, why do you have to control 134 00:05:37,470 --> 00:05:38,802 how he perceives it in his mind? 135 00:05:38,905 --> 00:05:40,931 This is my last Dundies ever. 136 00:05:41,007 --> 00:05:44,944 If I want mind control over him, is that too much to ask? 137 00:05:46,880 --> 00:05:49,111 138 00:05:49,182 --> 00:05:51,811 Good. Good, good. Good. 139 00:05:51,885 --> 00:05:53,513 Now, tell me something terrible 140 00:05:53,587 --> 00:05:54,782 that happened in your childhood. 141 00:05:54,855 --> 00:05:57,984 When I was very young, my mother divorced my father 142 00:05:58,058 --> 00:06:00,289 and I had to go to court and choose between them. 143 00:06:00,393 --> 00:06:03,227 Too personal. I don't want to hear about that stuff. 144 00:06:03,296 --> 00:06:04,821 Let's try this. Put this on. 145 00:06:06,132 --> 00:06:10,661 I am going to turn this on and turn the volume all the way up, 146 00:06:11,705 --> 00:06:15,005 so you can't... That's right, you're not going to be able to hear yourself. 147 00:06:15,075 --> 00:06:17,840 Read this, and it's going to sound perfect. 148 00:06:17,911 --> 00:06:21,313 "The Dundies are all about coming together, 149 00:06:21,915 --> 00:06:26,376 "and recognizing the indomitability of the human spirit!" 150 00:06:26,453 --> 00:06:27,978 Say it with an accent! 151 00:06:28,121 --> 00:06:29,646 The Dundies! 152 00:06:29,856 --> 00:06:31,825 "The Dundies!" The Dundies! 153 00:06:31,892 --> 00:06:33,360 I just don't understand the desire 154 00:06:33,493 --> 00:06:34,961 to push sweet potato fries on me. 155 00:06:35,028 --> 00:06:36,052 I just want regular fries. 156 00:06:36,129 --> 00:06:37,119 Yeah. 157 00:06:37,530 --> 00:06:38,520 Oh! 158 00:06:38,899 --> 00:06:40,128 159 00:06:40,433 --> 00:06:42,061 PAM: Hey, Erin, everything okay? 160 00:06:42,202 --> 00:06:43,670 Get away from the car, or he's going to see you. 161 00:06:43,837 --> 00:06:45,066 Who's going to see us? 162 00:06:45,205 --> 00:06:46,434 Just get in. Get in. Just get in. 163 00:06:46,640 --> 00:06:48,734 JIM: Get in the car? 164 00:06:49,242 --> 00:06:51,905 Please, sorry, get in. 165 00:06:53,013 --> 00:06:54,311 I'm sorry, sorry, sorry. 166 00:06:54,381 --> 00:06:55,644 What's wrong? 167 00:06:55,882 --> 00:06:58,283 I eat lunch in the car now. It's my alone time. 168 00:06:59,552 --> 00:07:01,714 It's just nice to have some time away from Gabe. 169 00:07:02,088 --> 00:07:03,989 Why don't you want to each lunch with your boyfriend? 170 00:07:04,057 --> 00:07:06,788 I really don't like spending time with him. 171 00:07:07,460 --> 00:07:09,429 Don't you think it's better to tell him the truth now? 172 00:07:09,629 --> 00:07:11,860 You know, rather than waste more of his time? 173 00:07:15,835 --> 00:07:17,701 I think I'm going to go. What? 174 00:07:17,771 --> 00:07:19,399 I think you got this. Okay. 175 00:07:19,472 --> 00:07:21,065 Okay? All right. Yeah. 176 00:07:21,141 --> 00:07:22,837 Okay. Thank you, Jim. Feel better. 177 00:07:23,209 --> 00:07:26,646 I'm sorry, that just wasn't interesting to me. 178 00:07:28,348 --> 00:07:30,510 I can't just dump him, Pam. I'm not like you. 179 00:07:30,583 --> 00:07:31,915 I can't be mean. 180 00:07:31,985 --> 00:07:33,248 Wait, when am I... 181 00:07:34,487 --> 00:07:37,013 You just have to be clear and firm, you know. 182 00:07:37,090 --> 00:07:40,549 Just tell him you don't love him. Just be honest with him. 183 00:07:44,097 --> 00:07:45,929 Hi. Appalling. 184 00:07:46,866 --> 00:07:48,425 Eyesore. 185 00:07:49,402 --> 00:07:50,893 Surprisingly adequate. 186 00:07:51,604 --> 00:07:55,803 Okay, everyone, the festivities commence in four seconds! 187 00:07:56,609 --> 00:07:58,771 Deangelo, Jo's on the phone for you. 188 00:07:59,679 --> 00:08:00,806 Hello? 189 00:08:00,880 --> 00:08:03,475 Deangelo, we're in serious horse manure here. 190 00:08:03,550 --> 00:08:06,076 The Dundies are tonight, and we ain't got no host. 191 00:08:06,252 --> 00:08:07,652 Oh, no. 192 00:08:07,721 --> 00:08:09,622 Luckily, I have someone for you. 193 00:08:09,956 --> 00:08:11,117 Billy Crystal? Better. 194 00:08:11,424 --> 00:08:12,483 Neil Patrick Harris? 195 00:08:12,559 --> 00:08:14,824 He's in Little Shop of Horrors on Broadway. 196 00:08:14,894 --> 00:08:16,726 Right. No, we need Michael Scott, 197 00:08:16,796 --> 00:08:20,665 the best darn Dundies host both sides of the Mississippi. 198 00:08:21,134 --> 00:08:22,363 199 00:08:22,702 --> 00:08:24,967 I've got to find Michael Scott. 200 00:08:25,939 --> 00:08:29,603 And then I've got to get him to the Dundies. 201 00:08:30,710 --> 00:08:32,804 Hey, can you help me find Michael Scott, Angela? 202 00:08:33,446 --> 00:08:36,712 My boyfriend can. He's a state senator. 203 00:08:36,783 --> 00:08:37,807 Mmm-hmm. 204 00:08:37,884 --> 00:08:41,150 Oh, no, he can't help because that title has no meaning. 205 00:08:42,455 --> 00:08:44,219 Try Jim, Deangelo. He'll be able to help. 206 00:08:44,324 --> 00:08:45,519 Mmm-hmm. Mmm-hmm. 207 00:08:45,959 --> 00:08:48,861 Jim, do you know where I can find Michael Scott? 208 00:08:49,295 --> 00:08:52,754 Oh, I totally don't know where Michael is, dude. 209 00:08:52,832 --> 00:08:54,926 Hey, you want to listen to some records? 210 00:08:55,301 --> 00:08:57,668 No one's listening to me. I'm running out of time. 211 00:08:57,737 --> 00:09:00,935 Well, what are you talking about? 212 00:09:01,608 --> 00:09:03,236 213 00:09:04,844 --> 00:09:07,143 I've fallen and I can't get up. 214 00:09:07,247 --> 00:09:09,944 Maybe I just need to look into my heart. 215 00:09:10,016 --> 00:09:13,145 Deangelo, where is Michael Scott? 216 00:09:13,219 --> 00:09:15,848 I'm here. In a good way. 217 00:09:15,922 --> 00:09:17,288 I've been here the whole time. 218 00:09:18,191 --> 00:09:21,923 The analytical part of me wants to examine it. 219 00:09:21,995 --> 00:09:23,793 But I know it has no content. 220 00:09:23,963 --> 00:09:26,057 Ladies and gentlemen, please stand up 221 00:09:26,132 --> 00:09:27,828 for your co-host of the evening, 222 00:09:27,901 --> 00:09:29,267 Michael Gary Scott! 223 00:09:31,838 --> 00:09:37,072 Please remain standing for your other co-host and new manager, 224 00:09:37,143 --> 00:09:42,172 Deangelo Jeremetrius Vickers! 225 00:09:49,689 --> 00:09:51,021 DWIGHT: Is that part of the... 226 00:09:53,927 --> 00:09:55,190 227 00:09:56,029 --> 00:09:57,657 Deangelo. Hey. 228 00:09:58,998 --> 00:10:01,331 Deangelo, what are you doing? There's a live audience out there. 229 00:10:01,401 --> 00:10:03,768 Just go do it by yourself, or get Ryan. 230 00:10:03,870 --> 00:10:06,032 No, Ryan would never do it. It's too on the radar. 231 00:10:06,139 --> 00:10:11,442 Look, look, the boss hosts the Dundies. It's sort of our perk. 232 00:10:11,578 --> 00:10:14,241 This was not part of the job description. 233 00:10:14,347 --> 00:10:15,406 Okay, listen to me. 234 00:10:15,482 --> 00:10:17,610 You're not doing this for me, you're not doing this for you. 235 00:10:17,684 --> 00:10:19,118 You're not even doing this for them. 236 00:10:19,185 --> 00:10:21,177 What am I doing it for? 237 00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:23,351 You're doing it for all those kids out there 238 00:10:23,490 --> 00:10:25,220 eating off the Louie Volpe's kids menu 239 00:10:25,291 --> 00:10:27,260 who are wondering, "Does it get better?" 240 00:10:27,727 --> 00:10:29,719 What I want you to do is, I want you to say, 241 00:10:29,863 --> 00:10:31,889 "It's show time." And get out there. 242 00:10:32,765 --> 00:10:35,257 I can't. Say it. 243 00:10:35,502 --> 00:10:36,834 Stop hitting me. 244 00:10:36,903 --> 00:10:38,235 You can do it, just say it. 245 00:10:39,038 --> 00:10:40,165 Hit me again. 246 00:10:40,840 --> 00:10:41,967 Now hit me. 247 00:10:43,843 --> 00:10:44,970 One, two, three... 248 00:10:45,044 --> 00:10:46,068 It's show time! It's show time! 249 00:10:46,146 --> 00:10:48,240 All right, here we go. 250 00:10:52,919 --> 00:10:55,411 Okay, okay, sorry about the delay, everybody, 251 00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:58,788 but we were at the DMV waiting in line. 252 00:10:58,858 --> 00:11:00,019 253 00:11:00,627 --> 00:11:03,756 Fall asleep right after sex. Huh, guys? 254 00:11:04,597 --> 00:11:05,963 Nope, go back to the script. 255 00:11:06,065 --> 00:11:09,229 There are a lot of great salesmen in this office, 256 00:11:09,402 --> 00:11:13,396 but one of our great salesmen is also a great dad, 257 00:11:13,873 --> 00:11:15,899 and a close personal friend of mine. 258 00:11:15,975 --> 00:11:19,104 Jim Halpert, Best Dad Dundie. 259 00:11:19,179 --> 00:11:20,374 260 00:11:21,047 --> 00:11:22,447 261 00:11:24,150 --> 00:11:26,051 Wow, I do not parent for the awards, 262 00:11:26,186 --> 00:11:28,121 but I got to tell you, it feels pretty good. 263 00:11:28,655 --> 00:11:31,523 Cece, if you're watching this at home, it's way past your bedtime. 264 00:11:31,591 --> 00:11:34,584 By the way, how'd this get televised? Thanks. 265 00:11:34,661 --> 00:11:35,856 Well done. 266 00:11:35,929 --> 00:11:37,192 I don't know, maybe being a good dad 267 00:11:37,330 --> 00:11:38,593 is just following your own compass. 268 00:11:38,665 --> 00:11:40,861 I don't know, I don't know. Thank you. Okay. 269 00:11:44,170 --> 00:11:45,160 Didn't think to mention me, huh? 270 00:11:45,238 --> 00:11:46,228 Didn't I? 271 00:11:46,439 --> 00:11:49,876 Which moves us to Best Mom Dundie. 272 00:11:50,043 --> 00:11:52,012 This person, well, I guess we all sort of 273 00:11:52,145 --> 00:11:54,137 consider a mom around the office, 274 00:11:54,214 --> 00:11:55,512 Meredith Palmer! 275 00:11:56,182 --> 00:11:57,582 Oh, my God! 276 00:11:57,650 --> 00:11:59,118 WOMAN: Say what? 277 00:12:01,354 --> 00:12:02,515 278 00:12:05,058 --> 00:12:07,527 I'll tell you one thing, I'm not going to be a good mom tonight. 279 00:12:07,594 --> 00:12:08,687 Whoo! 280 00:12:08,761 --> 00:12:11,993 Excuse me, can I get a photo of the best mom and the best dad, please? 281 00:12:12,932 --> 00:12:13,991 Step on up. 282 00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:15,057 I've got to go do this. 283 00:12:15,134 --> 00:12:16,124 Why? 284 00:12:17,103 --> 00:12:19,072 Let's go, big smiles, folks. There they are. 285 00:12:19,172 --> 00:12:22,631 Year after year, I catch a lot of flak on this particular award 286 00:12:22,709 --> 00:12:26,737 because year after year, I present this award to a guy instead of a girl. 287 00:12:26,813 --> 00:12:31,148 Hottest in the Office goes to Danny Cordray! 288 00:12:31,884 --> 00:12:33,785 Danny could not be here tonight... 289 00:12:33,853 --> 00:12:35,287 How do I feel about not winning 290 00:12:35,421 --> 00:12:36,889 Hottest in the Office this year? 291 00:12:36,956 --> 00:12:38,754 Um, I'm very relieved. 292 00:12:38,825 --> 00:12:41,954 How do you judge something like... What is his criteria, even? 293 00:12:42,028 --> 00:12:43,018 It's... 294 00:12:43,696 --> 00:12:44,857 It's so subjective. 295 00:12:44,931 --> 00:12:48,299 Stanley Hudson is a grump, everybody knows that. 296 00:12:48,534 --> 00:12:50,935 But did you know that Stanley Hudson 297 00:12:51,004 --> 00:12:54,497 is also the face of a debilitating disease known as diabetes? 298 00:12:54,607 --> 00:12:55,939 299 00:12:56,476 --> 00:13:00,072 The Diabetes Award goes to Stanley Hudson! 300 00:13:00,847 --> 00:13:03,180 Come on up here, you sick bastard. 301 00:13:05,451 --> 00:13:09,354 I have diabetes, too. You don't see me making a big deal about it. 302 00:13:09,689 --> 00:13:12,955 They say he's going to be my right-hand man, 303 00:13:13,026 --> 00:13:15,928 ad-lib masturbation joke. No. 304 00:13:16,429 --> 00:13:18,557 I hate this. I hate it so much. 305 00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:23,331 Dwight Schrute, please accept this Promising Assistant Manager Dundie. 306 00:13:25,138 --> 00:13:29,007 Thank you, thanks so much. Um, I want to dedicate this award 307 00:13:29,075 --> 00:13:33,240 to something that, uh, we take for granted in our daily lives, 308 00:13:33,313 --> 00:13:34,872 and that is the humble trash can. 309 00:13:35,214 --> 00:13:37,342 This is for you, trash can. 310 00:13:42,188 --> 00:13:43,520 311 00:13:44,857 --> 00:13:46,155 Who gave you those crayons? 312 00:13:46,225 --> 00:13:48,023 I brought them from home. 313 00:13:48,194 --> 00:13:49,389 Do you have a red? 314 00:13:49,529 --> 00:13:50,758 This is a cloth tablecloth. 315 00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:52,264 You can't color on it. 316 00:13:52,565 --> 00:13:54,227 Oh, really? 317 00:13:54,367 --> 00:13:59,806 Did you know herpes affects one out of every five sexually active adults? 318 00:14:00,907 --> 00:14:02,273 Pippi Longstocking, 319 00:14:02,342 --> 00:14:06,109 Ronald McDonald's wife, Ron Howard, Ron Weasley. 320 00:14:06,179 --> 00:14:08,580 What do they all have in common? Redheads. 321 00:14:09,215 --> 00:14:10,444 And, Erin Hannon, 322 00:14:11,250 --> 00:14:15,415 come on up here to receive your Cutest Redhead in the Office award. 323 00:14:15,922 --> 00:14:17,413 That is bull. 324 00:14:20,560 --> 00:14:23,359 Thank you, thank you, thank you. 325 00:14:24,163 --> 00:14:26,496 This is the first award I've ever won in my entire life. 326 00:14:26,566 --> 00:14:27,693 327 00:14:28,067 --> 00:14:31,595 People were right about the Dundies, they are magical. 328 00:14:33,206 --> 00:14:35,437 But I don't feel it, 329 00:14:35,508 --> 00:14:38,569 and I think that's because I'm not with the right person. 330 00:14:39,045 --> 00:14:40,240 Gabe... 331 00:14:41,080 --> 00:14:42,070 GABE: What? 332 00:14:42,148 --> 00:14:43,138 We should break up. 333 00:14:44,117 --> 00:14:45,210 What? 334 00:14:45,451 --> 00:14:47,044 I'm not attracted to you. 335 00:14:48,955 --> 00:14:51,686 I just... I cringe when you talk. 336 00:14:52,058 --> 00:14:54,618 I have to be honest. 337 00:14:54,694 --> 00:14:56,219 Right, Pam? 338 00:14:59,932 --> 00:15:01,730 Thank you for hearing me. 339 00:15:03,503 --> 00:15:05,938 Okay, well, this is embarrassing. 340 00:15:07,006 --> 00:15:09,100 Obviously really angry at Erin. 341 00:15:09,175 --> 00:15:12,407 Here comes that quarter-life crisis everyone's talking about. 342 00:15:15,214 --> 00:15:16,648 All right, I'm gonna go. 343 00:15:16,716 --> 00:15:18,275 344 00:15:18,351 --> 00:15:20,786 Let's... There you go. 345 00:15:21,487 --> 00:15:22,853 Damn, that was cold. 346 00:15:24,123 --> 00:15:27,753 It is difficult to recognize the person who will be replacing you. 347 00:15:28,628 --> 00:15:29,926 But he is a good guy, 348 00:15:29,996 --> 00:15:34,366 so the Michael Scott Award for Best Dundies Host 349 00:15:34,567 --> 00:15:36,331 goes to Deangelo Vickers. 350 00:15:36,469 --> 00:15:37,869 351 00:15:39,205 --> 00:15:40,696 352 00:15:44,777 --> 00:15:45,767 ALL: Speech, speech, speech... 353 00:15:45,845 --> 00:15:46,835 Speech, speech, speech... 354 00:15:48,748 --> 00:15:50,546 Hold on, hold on one second. 355 00:15:53,453 --> 00:15:55,217 Crank it. 356 00:15:57,256 --> 00:16:01,591 I want to... I feel truly blessed to be working with all of you. 357 00:16:01,661 --> 00:16:04,529 You know, before this all started, funny story, 358 00:16:04,597 --> 00:16:08,534 I was in the bathroom, vomiting and vomiting in that men's room. 359 00:16:08,601 --> 00:16:10,331 Okay. That's why it has been shut down... 360 00:16:10,403 --> 00:16:11,598 That's it. ... for most of the evening. 361 00:16:11,671 --> 00:16:13,663 This is important. He's expressing himself. 362 00:16:13,739 --> 00:16:14,934 Hosts don't get Dundies. No. 363 00:16:15,007 --> 00:16:17,067 This is truly special for me, 364 00:16:17,143 --> 00:16:20,409 and, anyway, it's so much lighter. 365 00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:22,381 MICHAEL: Okay, we're done. That's it. What? 366 00:16:22,448 --> 00:16:23,677 Michael, are we... What? 367 00:16:23,749 --> 00:16:24,910 We're done, we're done. 368 00:16:27,119 --> 00:16:30,920 So, that is how it ends. My last Dundies ever. 369 00:16:33,693 --> 00:16:36,561 I was hoping it would be more like Godfather III, 370 00:16:36,629 --> 00:16:39,064 that wrapped up the whole franchise 371 00:16:39,198 --> 00:16:41,667 in an extremely satisfying way, 372 00:16:42,401 --> 00:16:44,961 but instead, it is like Godfather I, 373 00:16:45,705 --> 00:16:48,573 that was very confusing, 374 00:16:49,709 --> 00:16:52,042 had maybe three big laughs. 375 00:16:53,012 --> 00:16:54,105 Oh, well. 376 00:16:54,180 --> 00:16:55,204 PAM: Hey, Michael? 377 00:16:55,781 --> 00:16:58,216 We were thinking maybe we could keep this thing going. 378 00:16:59,018 --> 00:17:00,247 What? 379 00:17:00,386 --> 00:17:01,615 I know I'm the cause of this royal screwup, 380 00:17:01,687 --> 00:17:03,246 but I would like to see the show go on. 381 00:17:03,322 --> 00:17:05,291 No, don't. You're being too hard on yourself. 382 00:17:05,424 --> 00:17:07,416 We had a very truncated rehearsal time. 383 00:17:07,493 --> 00:17:09,359 Let's grab some ice cream, go back 384 00:17:09,428 --> 00:17:11,226 to the office, and finish what we started. 385 00:17:11,898 --> 00:17:13,924 So what you're saying is, you kind of liked it? 386 00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:15,525 "I've fallen, and I can't get up." 387 00:17:16,636 --> 00:17:18,366 That Phyllis bit. That was pretty good, right? 388 00:17:18,437 --> 00:17:20,429 I don't know that we need to dissect it all right now, but it... 389 00:17:20,506 --> 00:17:21,667 That got a big laugh. It did. 390 00:17:21,741 --> 00:17:23,266 That actually got a big laugh. Pretty huge laugh. 391 00:17:23,342 --> 00:17:25,004 You were laughing, right? I was. 392 00:17:25,711 --> 00:17:27,612 Oh, you know what? I have to go to the bathroom. 393 00:17:27,680 --> 00:17:28,739 Don't worry, we're really close. 394 00:17:28,814 --> 00:17:30,749 Really, you know, I can just run over to the gas station there. 395 00:17:30,816 --> 00:17:32,011 We should just wait here and not get 396 00:17:32,151 --> 00:17:33,380 good seats in the conference room? 397 00:17:33,452 --> 00:17:35,216 That's true, we wouldn't get seats together. 398 00:17:35,555 --> 00:17:37,649 Okay, yeah, I'll hold it. I'm fine. 399 00:17:37,723 --> 00:17:41,455 You know, despite a couple of hiccups, I thought that went very well. 400 00:17:41,527 --> 00:17:44,429 I thought it was the worst Dundies I've ever been to. 401 00:17:44,597 --> 00:17:48,034 Man! Maybe you should have won the Kind of a Bitch Award. 402 00:17:48,701 --> 00:17:53,162 Gladly. I'd accept that award, because a bitch is a female dog. 403 00:17:54,840 --> 00:17:56,399 What? What are you doing? Aah! 404 00:17:56,509 --> 00:17:57,499 What... Ooh! 405 00:17:58,144 --> 00:18:01,012 Please don't stop so suddenly. Seatbelt's pressing on my bladder. 406 00:18:01,180 --> 00:18:02,443 Why are you even wearing a seatbelt? 407 00:18:02,515 --> 00:18:03,847 You're sitting in the backseat, baby. 408 00:18:03,916 --> 00:18:04,975 What is your problem? 409 00:18:05,051 --> 00:18:07,384 I just don't see the point of the Dundies, okay? 410 00:18:07,453 --> 00:18:10,150 The jokes are terrible, the venue was bad, the fashion was boring. 411 00:18:10,222 --> 00:18:14,489 Okay, that is unfair. The clothing was safe but tasteful. 412 00:18:14,660 --> 00:18:16,720 And next time, why don't you pick a co-host 413 00:18:16,862 --> 00:18:18,922 that doesn't have microphone-a-phobia? 414 00:18:18,998 --> 00:18:20,830 Look, whatever you're going to do, 415 00:18:20,967 --> 00:18:22,799 how long is it going to take, ballpark? 416 00:18:22,868 --> 00:18:25,337 Because I just... I've got to make a decision here. 417 00:18:29,375 --> 00:18:31,640 He is in an all-out sprint. 418 00:18:32,745 --> 00:18:34,407 ...better than before. 419 00:18:34,547 --> 00:18:36,209 Please, excuse me. 420 00:18:36,816 --> 00:18:38,648 Here... Okay. 421 00:18:38,718 --> 00:18:40,710 By his own admission, this person 422 00:18:40,853 --> 00:18:42,845 actually tried marijuana in college, 423 00:18:43,122 --> 00:18:47,287 so the Doobie Doobie Pothead Stoner of the Year Award 424 00:18:47,360 --> 00:18:49,920 goes to Andy Bernard! 425 00:18:50,930 --> 00:18:52,023 Yes. 426 00:18:52,298 --> 00:18:53,288 Ohhh! 427 00:18:53,933 --> 00:18:55,458 There's a lot of people I'd like to thank, 428 00:18:55,534 --> 00:18:58,003 but I think we all actually want to thank you, Michael. 429 00:18:58,671 --> 00:19:00,139 Oh! Thank you. 430 00:19:00,206 --> 00:19:03,802 I mean, we actually really all want to thank you for everything. 431 00:19:08,114 --> 00:19:09,878 Oh, my God. Something's happening. 432 00:19:12,485 --> 00:19:16,513 9,986,000 minutes 433 00:19:17,289 --> 00:19:20,555 We actually sat down and did the math 434 00:19:21,994 --> 00:19:25,795 9,986,000 minutes 435 00:19:26,666 --> 00:19:30,296 That's how many minutes that you've worked here 436 00:19:30,770 --> 00:19:31,760 In costumes 437 00:19:31,837 --> 00:19:32,827 And impressions 438 00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:34,401 In meetings 439 00:19:34,540 --> 00:19:35,769 In cups of coffee 440 00:19:36,042 --> 00:19:37,032 For birthdays 441 00:19:37,176 --> 00:19:38,200 More meetings and... 442 00:19:38,277 --> 00:19:40,439 E-mail forwards you made us read 443 00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:45,079 9,986,000 minutes 444 00:19:45,584 --> 00:19:49,578 That's like watching Die Hard 80,000 times 445 00:19:49,722 --> 00:19:51,953 You hit me with your car 446 00:19:52,091 --> 00:19:54,322 You helped me get off drugs 447 00:19:54,593 --> 00:19:56,755 I watch you when you sleep 448 00:19:56,829 --> 00:19:58,764 I forgive you for kissing me 449 00:19:58,998 --> 00:20:02,127 Remember to call 450 00:20:02,268 --> 00:20:04,203 You've got to remember to call 451 00:20:04,270 --> 00:20:06,830 Remember to call 452 00:20:07,039 --> 00:20:09,338 Love is a gift from up above 453 00:20:09,408 --> 00:20:11,138 Remember to call 454 00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:14,009 Text or call or e-mail or call 455 00:20:14,680 --> 00:20:20,745 Measure, measure your life in love 456 00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:24,588 Remember to call 457 00:20:24,724 --> 00:20:27,125 Yeah, yeah, yeah 458 00:20:27,193 --> 00:20:29,185 Remember to call 459 00:20:29,261 --> 00:20:32,425 Yeah, yeah, you've got to remember to call 460 00:20:32,498 --> 00:20:35,662 Remember to call 461 00:20:39,205 --> 00:20:41,197 Yeah, okay. 462 00:20:43,375 --> 00:20:46,539 Well, this is going to hurt like a mother . 463 00:20:48,447 --> 00:20:50,177 Every day, millions of Americans 464 00:20:50,316 --> 00:20:52,046 suffer from extreme repulsiveness. 465 00:20:52,118 --> 00:20:55,680 Someone in our midst is bringing that problem to light. 466 00:20:55,755 --> 00:20:57,917 Toby Flenderson, please come up here 467 00:20:57,990 --> 00:21:00,118 and accept the Extreme Repulsiveness Award. 468 00:21:00,226 --> 00:21:01,216 Oh, that's so mean. 469 00:21:01,293 --> 00:21:02,283 No, it's fine. 470 00:21:02,561 --> 00:21:03,654 It's his last Dundies. 471 00:21:03,796 --> 00:21:04,923 You got to play along, man. 472 00:21:04,997 --> 00:21:07,228 Come on, Toby. 473 00:21:07,299 --> 00:21:08,528 Here he comes! 474 00:21:09,235 --> 00:21:11,534 All right, you deserved it. 475 00:21:11,604 --> 00:21:15,132 I really disagree with this. I think it's kind of hateful. 476 00:21:15,307 --> 00:21:16,798 Although, I am a little happy right now 477 00:21:16,876 --> 00:21:19,175 to have a platform to talk about the outcome of a case 478 00:21:19,245 --> 00:21:21,646 that I was recently a juror on, the Scranton Strangler. 479 00:21:21,814 --> 00:21:25,478 A man's being put to death, I was part of the verdict, 480 00:21:25,551 --> 00:21:27,645 and I'm not so sure he's guilty anymore. 481 00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:29,348