1 00:00:04,085 --> 00:00:06,005 BABY, I WAS THINKING ABOUT WHAT TO GET JUNIOR 2 00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:07,386 FOR HIS GRADUATION. 3 00:00:07,388 --> 00:00:09,008 IT SHOULD BE SOMETHING HE NEEDS, BABE. 4 00:00:09,009 --> 00:00:11,089 YEAH, HOW ABOUT THREE MORE YEARS OF HIGH SCHOOL? 5 00:00:11,092 --> 00:00:13,512 I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA GIVE HIM YOUR FATHER'S WATCH. 6 00:00:13,514 --> 00:00:14,814 I WAS, BUT I WAS THINKING 7 00:00:14,805 --> 00:00:16,555 ABOUT GETTING HIM SOMETHING BETTER THAN THAT. 8 00:00:16,557 --> 00:00:18,057 I WAS THINKING 9 00:00:18,059 --> 00:00:20,639 ABOUT MAYBE SENDING HIM OUT OF THE COUNTRY -- 10 00:00:20,641 --> 00:00:21,691 A TRIP TO JAPAN. 11 00:00:21,692 --> 00:00:23,562 WHAT IS HE GONNA DO IN JAPAN? 12 00:00:23,564 --> 00:00:26,034 GET A JOB TAKING STUFF OFF OF TOP SHELVES. 13 00:00:26,026 --> 00:00:27,106 JUST KIDDING. 14 00:00:27,108 --> 00:00:28,408 I WAS THINKING 15 00:00:28,409 --> 00:00:32,029 MAYBE HE COULD VISIT SOME OF THOSE ANIMATION STUDIOS. 16 00:00:32,032 --> 00:00:34,212 HE COLLECTS ALL THAT STUFF. 17 00:00:34,205 --> 00:00:35,115 THAT WOULD BE GREAT. 18 00:00:35,116 --> 00:00:37,206 AND WHO KNOWS WHAT KIND OF EFFECT 19 00:00:37,208 --> 00:00:40,118 A 3-WEEK VACATION FROM VANESSA WOULD HAVE ON HIS FUTURE. 20 00:00:40,121 --> 00:00:41,121 COME ON, JAY. 21 00:00:41,122 --> 00:00:43,752 WHAT KIND OF MANIPULATIVE, DEVIOUS FATHER WOULD I BE 22 00:00:43,754 --> 00:00:46,054 TO SEND MY SON HALFWAY AROUND THE WORLD 23 00:00:46,046 --> 00:00:48,256 JUST TO GET AWAY FROM HIS GIRLFRIEND? 24 00:00:48,259 --> 00:00:52,339 WHAT DO YOU THINK, I'M...EVIL? 25 00:00:52,343 --> 00:00:55,183 NO, NOT YOU. YOU WOULD NEVER DO ANYTHING LIKE THAT. 26 00:00:55,176 --> 00:00:56,226 ON THE OTHER HAND, 27 00:00:56,227 --> 00:00:58,057 THERE ARE SOME REALLY CUTE GIRLS IN JAPAN. 28 00:00:58,058 --> 00:01:00,348 YOU BEEN ON THAT WEBSITE AGAIN? 29 00:01:00,351 --> 00:01:02,271 [ Japanese accent ] SO SORRY. 30 00:01:03,184 --> 00:01:04,324 GOOD MORNING, EVERYBODY. 31 00:01:04,315 --> 00:01:05,525 GOOD MORNING. 32 00:01:05,526 --> 00:01:07,066 [ Normal voice ] YOUR MOTHER AND I 33 00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:08,817 WERE JUST DISCUSSING YOUR FUTURE. 34 00:01:08,819 --> 00:01:09,989 WHAT ARE YOUR PLANS, SON? 35 00:01:09,990 --> 00:01:11,240 I'VE DECIDED TO GO TO COLLEGE. 36 00:01:12,113 --> 00:01:13,153 BABY! 37 00:01:13,154 --> 00:01:15,294 ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?! 38 00:01:15,286 --> 00:01:18,286 YEAH, THE SHOCK OF THAT JUST KNOCKED ME OUT OF MY SEAT. 39 00:01:18,289 --> 00:01:20,119 DID YOU SAY YOU WERE GONNA GO TO COLLEGE? 40 00:01:20,121 --> 00:01:21,161 YEAH. AND GUESS WHAT? 41 00:01:21,162 --> 00:01:23,502 I'VE ALREADY BEEN ACCEPTED AT TWO SCHOOLS. 42 00:01:23,504 --> 00:01:24,674 WHOA! 43 00:01:24,665 --> 00:01:27,045 [ METAL CLANGING ] 44 00:01:27,047 --> 00:01:30,297 I DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH MORE OF THIS I COULD TAKE. 45 00:01:30,301 --> 00:01:31,631 YOU SAID TWO SCHOOLS? 46 00:01:31,632 --> 00:01:34,012 WHAT TWO SCHOOLS WOULD TAKE YOU? 47 00:01:34,014 --> 00:01:36,104 HAMMERHEAD TECH UNIVERSITY IN TAMPA, FLORIDA, 48 00:01:36,096 --> 00:01:38,556 AND HAMBURGER UNIVERSITY IN OAK BROOK, ILLINOIS. 49 00:01:38,559 --> 00:01:39,889 I'M ASTOUNDED. 50 00:01:39,890 --> 00:01:40,930 ME TOO. 51 00:01:40,931 --> 00:01:42,391 I'M ASTOUNDED BY THE FACT 52 00:01:42,393 --> 00:01:44,693 THAT THERE ARE COLLEGES THAT WOULD ACTUALLY ACCEPT JUNIOR. 53 00:01:44,685 --> 00:01:46,685 THEY ARE CALLED "JUNIOR COLLEGES." 54 00:01:46,687 --> 00:01:48,727 PLUS, I'M WAIT-LISTED AT A REAL SCHOOL -- 55 00:01:48,729 --> 00:01:49,819 REDDINGTON. 56 00:01:49,820 --> 00:01:50,990 OH-OH-OH-OH. 57 00:01:50,991 --> 00:01:52,941 [ DISHES CLANGING ] 58 00:01:55,236 --> 00:01:58,116 REDDINGTON? THAT'S A PRETTY GOOD SCHOOL. 59 00:01:58,118 --> 00:01:59,328 YEAH, IT SURE IS. 60 00:01:59,330 --> 00:02:01,500 WHEN DID YOU DECIDE TO GO TO COLLEGE? 61 00:02:01,502 --> 00:02:03,702 YOU NEVER SAID ANYTHING TO US BEFORE. 62 00:02:03,704 --> 00:02:06,174 VANESSA SUBMITTED AN APPLICATION FOR ME 63 00:02:06,167 --> 00:02:08,167 'CAUSE THAT'S WHERE SHE'S GOING. 64 00:02:08,169 --> 00:02:10,459 OH, SO NOW WE GET TO THE HEART OF IT. 65 00:02:10,461 --> 00:02:13,461 WHAT ARE YOU GONNA MAJOR IN, SON, VANESSA-OLOGY? 66 00:02:13,464 --> 00:02:15,224 I HEAR IT'S EASY TO GET INTO. 67 00:02:15,216 --> 00:02:16,716 LET'S BE NICE, BABY. 68 00:02:16,717 --> 00:02:19,597 YEAH, WHAT FRATERNITY ARE YOU GONNA PLEDGE, 69 00:02:19,600 --> 00:02:21,020 "FELT A BIT A THIGH"? 70 00:02:27,268 --> 00:02:28,358 LOOK, WE DIDN'T EVEN THINK 71 00:02:28,359 --> 00:02:30,269 THIS BOY WOULD GET OUT OF KINDERGARTEN. 72 00:02:30,271 --> 00:02:31,941 THAT WAS A TOUGH THREE YEARS. 73 00:02:31,942 --> 00:02:34,202 SO, WE CAN'T START ELIMINATING SCHOOLS 74 00:02:34,195 --> 00:02:36,365 SIMPLY BECAUSE HIS GIRLFRIEND GOES THERE. 75 00:02:36,367 --> 00:02:38,987 I DON'T WANT TO WASTE ALL THIS MONEY ON TUITION 76 00:02:38,989 --> 00:02:40,739 WHEN HE'S GONNA SPEND ALL HIS TIME WITH HER 77 00:02:40,741 --> 00:02:41,741 AND END UP FLUNKING OUT. 78 00:02:41,742 --> 00:02:42,912 NO, MOM, LOOK -- 79 00:02:42,913 --> 00:02:44,753 I KNOW THIS MIGHT SOUND BIZARRE COMING FROM ME, 80 00:02:44,745 --> 00:02:46,705 BUT I LOOK AT THIS AS A GREAT OPPORTUNITY. 81 00:02:46,707 --> 00:02:49,087 BOY, SPELL OPPORTUNITY. 82 00:02:49,089 --> 00:02:52,919 O-P-OR-TUNITY. 83 00:02:52,923 --> 00:02:56,473 SEE? THAT'S WHY THIS BOY NEEDS TO GO TO COLLEGE. 84 00:02:56,467 --> 00:02:57,677 I'M SERIOUS, MOM. 85 00:02:57,678 --> 00:02:59,348 VANESSA HAS INSPIRED ME TO WANT TO LEARN. 86 00:02:59,350 --> 00:03:01,140 THAT'S ALL WELL AND GOOD, SON, 87 00:03:01,141 --> 00:03:03,061 AND I WOULD REALLY LOVE TO SUPPORT YOU, 88 00:03:03,063 --> 00:03:05,313 BUT REALISTICALLY, BABY, WHAT ARE YOUR CHANCES 89 00:03:05,306 --> 00:03:07,306 OF GETTING INTO A SCHOOL LIKE REDDINGTON? 90 00:03:07,308 --> 00:03:10,398 SLIM TO NONE, BUT I KNOW SOMEBODY AT REDDINGTON. 91 00:03:10,401 --> 00:03:11,731 WHO? 92 00:03:11,732 --> 00:03:13,902 I DON'T KNOW HIS NAME, BUT HE WORKS IN ADMISSIONS. 93 00:03:13,904 --> 00:03:15,874 I REMEMBER WE DELIVERED SOME FURNITURE THERE. 94 00:03:15,866 --> 00:03:18,116 MAYBE I CAN MAKE SOME CALLS AND SET UP AN INTERVIEW. 95 00:03:18,118 --> 00:03:20,698 OH, I WOULD REALLY APPRECIATE THAT, DAD. 96 00:03:20,701 --> 00:03:23,451 THIS OPPORTUNITY HAS MADE ME SO EXUBERANT. 97 00:03:23,454 --> 00:03:24,634 SPELL EXUBERANT. 98 00:03:24,625 --> 00:03:27,165 E-X-U-B-E-R-A-N-T. 99 00:03:27,167 --> 00:03:28,247 IS THAT RIGHT? YEAH. 100 00:03:28,249 --> 00:03:29,379 OH, GOD. 101 00:03:36,136 --> 00:03:38,926 YEAH, MR. BURNS. UH-HUH. 102 00:03:38,929 --> 00:03:41,099 HE'S A TERRIFIC KID. 103 00:03:41,101 --> 00:03:43,221 OKAY. SO, WEDNESDAY AFTERNOON, 3:00. 104 00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:45,273 GREAT. TERRIFIC. YOU'RE GONNA LOVE HIM. 105 00:03:45,266 --> 00:03:49,146 YEAH, HE'S A NICE KID. HE'S REALLY SMART. 106 00:03:49,149 --> 00:03:51,979 VERY LEV-- LEVEL-HEADED. YEAH. 107 00:03:51,982 --> 00:03:55,412 GOT ENOUGH BRAINS FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY. 108 00:03:55,406 --> 00:03:59,116 OKAY. YEAH. SEE YOU THEN. 109 00:03:59,119 --> 00:04:01,119 WELL, HE THINKS YOU'RE TERRIFIC. 110 00:04:01,121 --> 00:04:03,531 YOU HAVE AN INTERVIEW WITH THE HEAD OF ADMISSIONS 111 00:04:03,534 --> 00:04:04,674 WEDNESDAY AFTERNOON. 112 00:04:04,665 --> 00:04:06,245 THAT'S TERRIFIC. THANKS, DAD. 113 00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:07,786 YES, IT IS. 114 00:04:07,788 --> 00:04:10,078 ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS SIT THERE, KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT, 115 00:04:10,080 --> 00:04:11,750 AND LET ME DO ALL THE TALKING. 116 00:04:11,752 --> 00:04:13,082 MICHAEL, IT'S HIS INTERVIEW. 117 00:04:13,083 --> 00:04:14,643 THEY DON'T WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU. 118 00:04:14,635 --> 00:04:17,635 I KNOW, JAY, BUT I GOTTA GIVE THE BOY SOME DIRECTION. 119 00:04:17,638 --> 00:04:20,428 I'M JUST GONNA CALL OUT SOME PLAYS FROM THE SIDELINES, 120 00:04:20,431 --> 00:04:21,841 LIKE A GOOD COACH. 121 00:04:21,842 --> 00:04:23,882 I MEAN, WE CAN'T PUT THIS BOY IN A ROOM 122 00:04:23,884 --> 00:04:26,154 WITH ANYBODY WITH ANY KIND OF INTELLIGENCE. 123 00:04:26,146 --> 00:04:27,186 THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE. 124 00:04:27,187 --> 00:04:28,687 WHAT? 125 00:04:28,689 --> 00:04:30,849 ALL THE EFFORT YOU'RE PUTTING INTO THIS. 126 00:04:30,851 --> 00:04:33,351 I'VE BEEN AN "A" STUDENT MY ENTIRE ACADEMIC CAREER, 127 00:04:33,354 --> 00:04:35,324 I'M GOOD-LOOKING, HAVE A SMALL HEAD, 128 00:04:35,316 --> 00:04:37,856 AND YET NUMSKULL OVER HERE GETS ALL THE ATTENTION. 129 00:04:37,858 --> 00:04:39,158 WHAT'S UP WITH THAT? 130 00:04:39,159 --> 00:04:41,899 CLAIRE, YOU SHOULD BE HAPPY FOR YOUR BROTHER. 131 00:04:41,902 --> 00:04:43,162 WELL, I'M NOT. 132 00:04:43,163 --> 00:04:45,373 I'VE MADE A FUNDAMENTAL TEENAGE ERROR -- 133 00:04:45,366 --> 00:04:46,666 I'VE BEEN TOO GOOD. 134 00:04:46,667 --> 00:04:48,247 NOW IF I DO SOMETHING GOOD, 135 00:04:48,248 --> 00:04:50,998 IT'S LIKE, "HO HUM, CLAIRE DID SOMETHING GOOD AGAIN." 136 00:04:51,001 --> 00:04:53,211 BUT IF JUNIOR MANAGES TO TIE HIS SHOES, 137 00:04:53,213 --> 00:04:54,473 YOU PEOPLE THROW A PARADE. 138 00:04:54,465 --> 00:04:55,505 UHHHHHHH! 139 00:04:55,506 --> 00:04:58,336 HEY, LOOK, DADDY, LOOK. 140 00:04:58,339 --> 00:04:59,969 VERY GOOD. 141 00:04:59,970 --> 00:05:01,840 HERCULES, HERCULES, HERCULES. 142 00:05:01,842 --> 00:05:04,302 WELL, DAD, THANKS FOR MAKING THE CALL. 143 00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:05,644 NOW IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, 144 00:05:05,636 --> 00:05:09,096 VANESSA AND I ARE GONNA GO PICK UP OUR CAPS AND GOWNS. 145 00:05:09,099 --> 00:05:11,769 WHEN HE GOES TO COLLEGE, WILL HE EVER COME BACK? 146 00:05:11,772 --> 00:05:14,612 OF COURSE HE WILL, BABY, A COUPLE OF TIMES A MONTH. 147 00:05:14,605 --> 00:05:17,985 OHH. YOU'RE GONNA MISS YOUR BIG BROTHER, HUH? 148 00:05:17,988 --> 00:05:19,698 NO, I'M GLAD HE'S GOING. 149 00:05:19,700 --> 00:05:22,490 I CAN'T WAIT TO GO THROUGH HIS STUFF. 150 00:05:22,493 --> 00:05:25,003 [ GIGGLES ] 151 00:05:24,995 --> 00:05:27,615 UHHHHH! 152 00:05:27,618 --> 00:05:30,118 WOW, BABY, THIS REALLY FEELS GOOD. 153 00:05:30,120 --> 00:05:31,120 OH, YEAH? 154 00:05:31,121 --> 00:05:33,161 YEAH. JUST THE THOUGHT THAT MY SON 155 00:05:33,163 --> 00:05:35,673 MAY GET THE DEGREE THAT I NEVER GOT 156 00:05:35,666 --> 00:05:37,126 REALLY EXCITES ME. 157 00:05:37,127 --> 00:05:39,837 MICHAEL, AS I KEEP POINTING OUT, THIS IS NOT ABOUT YOU. 158 00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:41,260 I KNOW, BABY. 159 00:05:41,261 --> 00:05:44,681 BOY, I HOPE I DO GOOD ON MY INTERVIEW. 160 00:05:48,599 --> 00:05:49,969 HEY, I GOT GREAT NEWS. 161 00:05:49,970 --> 00:05:52,310 MY DAD SCHEDULED ME AN INTERVIEW AT REDDINGTON. 162 00:05:52,312 --> 00:05:54,612 NOW WE'RE ONE STEP CLOSER TO BEING TOGETHER. 163 00:05:54,605 --> 00:05:55,815 OH, CONGRATULAT-- 164 00:05:55,816 --> 00:05:58,186 I THINK WE HAVE ON THE WRONG HATS. 165 00:05:58,188 --> 00:05:59,318 I COULDN'T TELL. 166 00:05:59,319 --> 00:06:00,819 ALL MY HATS FIT LIKE THIS. 167 00:06:00,821 --> 00:06:02,821 I'M EXCITED, BUT I'M ALSO NERVOUS. 168 00:06:02,823 --> 00:06:04,623 I JUST WANT TO MAKE YOU PROUD. 169 00:06:04,615 --> 00:06:06,115 I'VE BEEN NERVOUS, TOO. 170 00:06:06,116 --> 00:06:08,446 I'VE HAD BUTTERFLIES IN MY STOMACH ALL WEEK. 171 00:06:08,449 --> 00:06:10,449 YOU ARE GONNA DO REALLY, REALLY GOOD. 172 00:06:10,451 --> 00:06:12,411 ONCE THE INTERVIEWER GETS TO KNOW YOU 173 00:06:12,413 --> 00:06:13,753 THE WAY THAT I KNOW YOU, 174 00:06:13,754 --> 00:06:15,674 THERE'S NO WAY HE CAN TURN YOU DOWN. 175 00:06:15,666 --> 00:06:18,086 OOOOOOHH. 176 00:06:18,088 --> 00:06:19,958 MM. MMM. 177 00:06:19,960 --> 00:06:23,420 LET'S HOP IN MY DAD'S TRUCK, TEST OUT THE HYDRAULICS. 178 00:06:23,424 --> 00:06:26,064 I DON'T THINK WE SHOULD GO TOO FAR. 179 00:06:26,056 --> 00:06:28,676 WHAT'S 30 SECONDS OF UNFOCUSNESS, HUH? 180 00:06:28,679 --> 00:06:29,849 JUNIOR... 181 00:06:29,850 --> 00:06:31,010 HUH? 182 00:06:31,011 --> 00:06:33,101 I KNOW, I KNOW. NO SEX. 183 00:06:33,103 --> 00:06:34,183 RIGHT. 184 00:06:34,184 --> 00:06:35,904 BUT WHEN YOU SAY, "NO SEX," 185 00:06:35,896 --> 00:06:38,316 DO YOU MEAN NO SEX, NO SEX OR NO SEX? 186 00:06:38,318 --> 00:06:40,228 NO SEX. 187 00:06:40,230 --> 00:06:42,110 WELL, DOES THAT INCLUDE THINGS 188 00:06:42,112 --> 00:06:44,582 THAT ARE CLOSE TO SEX BUT REALLY AREN'T SEX? 189 00:06:44,575 --> 00:06:45,865 LIKE WHAT? 190 00:06:45,866 --> 00:06:48,236 LIKE YOU KNOW HOW SOME THINGS ARE CLOSE TO SPORTS 191 00:06:48,238 --> 00:06:49,658 BUT REALLY AREN'T SPORTS, 192 00:06:49,660 --> 00:06:51,990 LIKE PLAYING FRISBEE WITH YOUR DOG? 193 00:06:51,992 --> 00:06:53,702 HOW ABOUT THROWING SOMETHING UP IN THE AIR, 194 00:06:53,704 --> 00:06:55,634 AND I'LL TRY TO CATCH IT IN MY MOUTH? 195 00:06:55,626 --> 00:06:56,796 HA HA HA. 196 00:06:56,797 --> 00:06:57,957 EHH. 197 00:06:57,958 --> 00:07:00,748 I DON'T THINK WE SHOULD TEMPT OURSELVES. 198 00:07:00,751 --> 00:07:02,041 WE SLIPPED ONCE, 199 00:07:02,042 --> 00:07:05,102 AND YOU ENDED UP LIVING HERE IN THE GARAGE. 200 00:07:05,095 --> 00:07:07,805 IF YOU PUT HALF AS MUCH EFFORT INTO GETTING INTO COLLEGE 201 00:07:07,808 --> 00:07:09,808 AS YOU DO TRYING TO GET ME IN THE BED, 202 00:07:09,810 --> 00:07:11,260 YOU'D HAVE GRADUATED BY NOW. 203 00:07:11,261 --> 00:07:13,351 WITH HONORS? HA HA HA HA. 204 00:07:13,353 --> 00:07:14,393 NAH? 205 00:07:14,394 --> 00:07:15,484 NAH. 206 00:07:15,476 --> 00:07:16,646 [ SIGHS ] 207 00:07:18,729 --> 00:07:20,979 ALL RIGHT. I WANT TO BE ON THE ROAD BY 10:30 208 00:07:20,981 --> 00:07:22,901 SO WE CAN GET TO REDDINGTON WITH TIME TO SPARE. 209 00:07:22,903 --> 00:07:24,193 RELAX, DAD. 210 00:07:24,194 --> 00:07:26,334 MICHAEL, CALM DOWN. YOU'RE MAKING US ALL NERVOUS. 211 00:07:26,326 --> 00:07:29,026 I JUST WANT THIS TO BE RIGHT. NOW, WHAT ARE YOU GONNA WEAR? 212 00:07:29,029 --> 00:07:30,949 I DON'T KNOW -- JEANS AND A SWEATER. 213 00:07:30,951 --> 00:07:31,951 NO! 214 00:07:31,952 --> 00:07:33,662 YOU DON'T WEAR JEANS AND A SWEATER 215 00:07:33,664 --> 00:07:35,924 TO THE MOST IMPORTANT INTERVIEW OF YOUR LIFE. 216 00:07:35,916 --> 00:07:37,126 IT SAYS, "I DON'T CARE." 217 00:07:37,127 --> 00:07:38,377 HOW ABOUT A SUIT? 218 00:07:38,378 --> 00:07:40,128 NO! 219 00:07:40,130 --> 00:07:42,250 YOU DON'T WEAR A SUIT TO AN INTERVIEW LIKE THIS. 220 00:07:42,252 --> 00:07:44,342 IT SAYS, "I'M DESPERATE, LIKE ME, LIKE ME. 221 00:07:44,344 --> 00:07:46,014 I'M DESPERATE. I'M DESPERATE." 222 00:07:46,006 --> 00:07:47,046 BUT I AM DESPERATE. 223 00:07:47,047 --> 00:07:48,967 WE ALL KNOW YOU'RE DESPERATE. 224 00:07:48,969 --> 00:07:51,299 LOOK AT YOUR FACE. IT SAYS HOPELESS. 225 00:07:51,301 --> 00:07:53,391 BUT YOU DON'T WANT TO SHOW THAT. 226 00:07:53,393 --> 00:07:55,363 YOU WANT TO BE COOL AND CONFIDENT. 227 00:07:55,355 --> 00:07:58,595 WEAR A NICE PAIR OF SLACKS WITH AN OPEN-COLLAR SHIRT. 228 00:07:58,599 --> 00:08:00,769 THAT'S WHAT SAYS COOL, CONFIDENT. 229 00:08:00,771 --> 00:08:02,441 I THINK THAT SAYS DORK. 230 00:08:02,442 --> 00:08:03,772 OH, COME ON, BE NICE. 231 00:08:03,774 --> 00:08:07,034 YOU'RE NOT GONNA HAVE ME TO KICK AROUND MUCH LONGER. 232 00:08:07,027 --> 00:08:08,157 YOU PROMISE? 233 00:08:08,158 --> 00:08:09,368 GIVE ME A TIME FRAME. 234 00:08:09,369 --> 00:08:11,529 ONE WEEK, TWO WEEKS, WHAT? WHAT? 235 00:08:11,532 --> 00:08:14,712 HEY, HEY, VULTURE, YOU CAN PICK HIS BONES LATER. 236 00:08:14,705 --> 00:08:16,615 IF YOU'RE FINISHED WITH YOUR BREAKFAST, 237 00:08:16,617 --> 00:08:18,117 THEN GO UPSTAIRS AND GET READY FOR SCHOOL. 238 00:08:18,118 --> 00:08:19,498 I'M OUTTA HERE. 239 00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:21,919 LET'S GO OVER THE ROUTE WE'RE GONNA TAKE TO GET TO REDDINGTON. 240 00:08:21,922 --> 00:08:22,922 ALL RIGHT. 241 00:08:22,923 --> 00:08:23,963 HOLLER! 242 00:08:23,964 --> 00:08:25,224 HI, CLAIRE. 243 00:08:25,215 --> 00:08:27,925 I THINK WE SHOULD TAKE THE 95 UP TO THE PARKWAY, 244 00:08:27,928 --> 00:08:30,298 THEN TURN OFF RIGHT OVER HERE. 245 00:08:30,300 --> 00:08:31,300 NO, BABY, NO. 246 00:08:31,301 --> 00:08:34,941 YOU WANT TO AVOID THE FREEWAY. DON'T TAKE THAT ROUTE. 247 00:08:34,935 --> 00:08:37,095 YOU GO THE SURFACE STREETS. 248 00:08:37,097 --> 00:08:38,807 WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING? 249 00:08:38,809 --> 00:08:41,519 WE'RE GOING OVER THIS ROUTE HERE. 250 00:08:41,521 --> 00:08:42,601 WE'RE MAPPING OUT 251 00:08:42,603 --> 00:08:45,783 HOW WE'RE GONNA GET TO THE REDDINGTON UNIVERSITY. 252 00:08:45,776 --> 00:08:47,026 WELL, GOOD LUCK. 253 00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:48,647 TAKE THIS WAY RIGHT HERE. 254 00:08:48,649 --> 00:08:50,489 AFTER SCHOOL TODAY, I'M THINKING OF GETTING A TATTOO. 255 00:08:50,490 --> 00:08:51,700 THAT'S GOOD, BABY. 256 00:08:51,702 --> 00:08:52,952 OF HITLER. 257 00:08:52,953 --> 00:08:54,873 THAT'S NICE, CLAIRE. THAT'S NICE. 258 00:08:54,865 --> 00:08:56,205 THAT'S NICE, BABY. 259 00:08:56,206 --> 00:08:57,576 ON MY FACE. 260 00:08:57,578 --> 00:08:58,918 OF HITLER! 261 00:08:58,919 --> 00:09:01,539 THAT'S NICE, BABY. THAT'S NICE. 262 00:09:01,541 --> 00:09:03,421 YOU'LL BE LIKE TYSON. 263 00:09:03,423 --> 00:09:06,473 JUST MAKE SURE THEY DON'T MESS UP THE MOUSTACHE. 264 00:09:06,466 --> 00:09:08,006 WE'LL TAKE THE SURFACE STREETS. 265 00:09:08,008 --> 00:09:09,378 THANK YOU. 266 00:09:09,379 --> 00:09:11,009 BUT IF WE'RE LATE, I'M GONNA BLAME YOU. 267 00:09:11,011 --> 00:09:13,221 HEY, I'VE BEEN WORKING ON MY INTERVIEWING TECHNIQUES. 268 00:09:13,223 --> 00:09:14,383 AND I THINK I'VE COME UP 269 00:09:14,384 --> 00:09:15,734 WITH A GREAT WAY TO BREAK THE ICE -- 270 00:09:15,726 --> 00:09:17,056 I'M GONNA OPEN WITH A JOKE. 271 00:09:17,057 --> 00:09:18,097 THAT'S GOOD. 272 00:09:18,098 --> 00:09:20,138 HERE WE GO. KNOCK, KNOCK. 273 00:09:20,140 --> 00:09:21,140 WHO'S THERE? 274 00:09:21,141 --> 00:09:22,391 JUNIOR! 275 00:09:22,392 --> 00:09:24,022 NO, WAIT. THAT'S NOT HOW IT GO. 276 00:09:24,024 --> 00:09:26,034 OKAY. YOU START. YOU START. 277 00:09:26,026 --> 00:09:27,986 KNOCK, KNOCK. KNOCK, KNOCK. 278 00:09:27,988 --> 00:09:29,358 WHO'S THERE? 279 00:09:29,359 --> 00:09:31,489 NO, WAIT. THAT'S NOT HOW IT GO, NEITHER. 280 00:09:31,491 --> 00:09:33,901 UH, I'M GONNA GO WORK ON THAT. 281 00:09:33,904 --> 00:09:35,464 WOW. 282 00:09:35,455 --> 00:09:38,245 KNOCK, KNOCK. WHO'S THERE? 283 00:09:38,248 --> 00:09:40,158 JACKASS. 284 00:09:45,836 --> 00:09:47,626 COME ON. SIT UP STRAIGHT. 285 00:09:47,628 --> 00:09:49,548 DON'T HAVE YOUR KNEES SO FAR APART. 286 00:09:49,549 --> 00:09:50,669 STOP ROCKING. 287 00:09:50,671 --> 00:09:53,301 WHAT DO YOU THINK, YOU'RE SLING BLADE? 288 00:09:53,303 --> 00:09:55,313 TAKE YOUR HAND OUT YOUR MOUTH. 289 00:09:55,305 --> 00:09:56,475 HEE HEE HEE. 290 00:09:56,476 --> 00:09:57,766 WHAT ARE YOU SMILING FOR? 291 00:09:57,768 --> 00:09:59,518 TAKE THE SMILE OFF YOUR FACE. 292 00:09:59,519 --> 00:10:00,979 ONLY STUPID PEOPLE SMILE 293 00:10:00,981 --> 00:10:03,141 WHEN THERE'S NOTHING TO SMILE ABOUT. 294 00:10:03,143 --> 00:10:05,403 DON'T LOOK SO MEAN. YOU LOOK ANGRY. 295 00:10:05,395 --> 00:10:06,855 YOU LOOK LIKE VING RHAMES. 296 00:10:09,439 --> 00:10:10,649 NO. RIGHT HERE. 297 00:10:10,651 --> 00:10:13,691 THERE IT IS. JUST KEEP THAT FACE. 298 00:10:13,694 --> 00:10:16,504 ALL RIGHT, NOW, IF YOU HAVE TO BREAK WIND -- DO YOU? 299 00:10:16,496 --> 00:10:17,786 GET IT OUT OF YOUR SYSTEM. 300 00:10:17,788 --> 00:10:18,908 NOT HERE. 301 00:10:18,909 --> 00:10:20,289 GO OUT IN THE HALLWAY. 302 00:10:20,290 --> 00:10:21,450 OKAY. JEEZ. 303 00:10:21,451 --> 00:10:23,701 MICHAEL KYLE, YOU ARE COMPLETELY OUT OF CONTROL. 304 00:10:23,704 --> 00:10:26,254 YOU GOTTA LET THIS BOY REPRESENT HIMSELF. 305 00:10:26,246 --> 00:10:28,126 I'M TRYING TO WHIP HIM INTO SHAPE 306 00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:29,878 AND GIVE HIM A LITTLE PEP TALK. 307 00:10:29,880 --> 00:10:32,510 YOU'RE TRYING TO BEAT HIM, AND I DON'T LIKE IT. 308 00:10:32,512 --> 00:10:34,632 WELL, MAYBE I'M A LITTLE OVERANXIOUS. 309 00:10:34,634 --> 00:10:36,064 A LITTLE OVERANXIOUS? 310 00:10:36,056 --> 00:10:38,426 NO, MICHAEL, YOU'RE WAY OVER THE TOP. 311 00:10:38,428 --> 00:10:40,678 WHEN YOU GET INTO THAT ROOM, I WANT YOU TO SIT DOWN. 312 00:10:40,681 --> 00:10:43,391 WHEN JUNIOR GOES IN THERE, AND HE SAYS SOMETHING STUPID, 313 00:10:43,393 --> 00:10:45,533 I WANT YOU TO NOD YOUR HEAD AND SUPPORT HIM. 314 00:10:45,525 --> 00:10:47,065 BECAUSE IF HE'S TO GET INTO THIS COLLEGE, 315 00:10:47,067 --> 00:10:49,227 I WANT IT TO BE BECAUSE OF WHO HE IS, NOT FOR WHO YOU ARE 316 00:10:49,229 --> 00:10:50,689 OR WHO HE IS PRETENDING TO BE. 317 00:10:50,691 --> 00:10:52,441 GET YOUR HAND OUT YOUR MOUTH! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! 318 00:10:52,442 --> 00:10:54,572 SIT UP! SIT UP STRAIGHT! 319 00:10:54,574 --> 00:10:56,284 UNCROSS YOUR LEGS. 320 00:10:56,276 --> 00:10:58,406 WHAT ARE YOU SMILING FOR?! 321 00:10:58,408 --> 00:10:59,948 I GOTTA BREAK WIND. 322 00:10:59,950 --> 00:11:02,700 GO DO IT. GO DO IT. 323 00:11:04,414 --> 00:11:06,384 WELL, YOUNG MAN, TELL ME WHY 324 00:11:06,376 --> 00:11:08,286 YOU'D LIKE TO ATTEND REDDINGTON UNIVERSITY. 325 00:11:08,288 --> 00:11:09,668 WELL, WHO WOULDN'T WANT 326 00:11:09,669 --> 00:11:12,709 TO ATTEND THIS FINE UNIVERSITY OF REDDINGTON? 327 00:11:12,713 --> 00:11:15,853 FIRST OF ALL, YOU HAVE THE HIGHEST ACADEMIC STANDARDS 328 00:11:15,846 --> 00:11:17,386 IN THE ENTIRE COUNTRY. 329 00:11:17,387 --> 00:11:18,717 EXCUSE ME. 330 00:11:18,719 --> 00:11:22,679 MICHAEL, I BELIEVE HE WAS TALKING TO MICHAEL JUNIOR. 331 00:11:22,682 --> 00:11:24,472 OH. HA HA. WELL, MY MISTAKE. 332 00:11:24,474 --> 00:11:26,734 I'M SURE MICHAEL JUNIOR WOULD HAVE SAID 333 00:11:26,727 --> 00:11:29,767 IT'S BECAUSE OF THE HIGH ACADEMIC STANDARDS 334 00:11:29,770 --> 00:11:31,730 AND THE ACHIEVEMENTS OF THE ALUMNI. 335 00:11:31,732 --> 00:11:34,402 RIGHT, SON, ISN'T THAT WHAT YOU WOULD SAY? 336 00:11:34,404 --> 00:11:36,664 TELL HIM. JUST LIKE THAT. 337 00:11:36,656 --> 00:11:38,866 I LIKE TO ACHIEVE ALUMNIS. 338 00:11:43,033 --> 00:11:45,463 YOU SEE HOW HE EDITS? 339 00:11:45,455 --> 00:11:49,665 WHAT HE DOES IS HE TAKES IN INFORMATION, HE DISSECTS IT, 340 00:11:49,669 --> 00:11:53,669 AND THEN HE SPITS IT OUT IN A VERY UNORTHODOX WAY. 341 00:11:53,673 --> 00:11:56,053 HE'S SORT OF AN IDIOT SAVANT. 342 00:11:56,046 --> 00:11:57,966 I NICKNAMED HIM RAIN MAN. 343 00:11:57,968 --> 00:12:00,258 AND UPID-STA. 344 00:12:03,723 --> 00:12:06,233 SO, WHAT ARE SOME OF YOUR INTERESTS? 345 00:12:06,226 --> 00:12:08,476 YOU KNOW WHAT HE'S GREAT AT? ART. 346 00:12:08,478 --> 00:12:11,018 THIS KID CAN DRAW A CARICATURE OF SOMEONE 347 00:12:11,021 --> 00:12:12,691 IN LESS THAN 30 SECONDS. 348 00:12:12,692 --> 00:12:13,902 HERE, DRAW MR. BURNS. 349 00:12:13,904 --> 00:12:16,784 WHAT ARE YOUR INTERESTS? WHAT DO YOU LIKE? 350 00:12:16,777 --> 00:12:18,817 I SPEND MOST OF MY FREE TIME READING. 351 00:12:18,819 --> 00:12:20,319 BOOKS. THAT'S GREAT. 352 00:12:20,320 --> 00:12:23,280 DRAW HIM WITH A BIG BOOK, A LITTLE HEAD, AND BIG GLASSES. 353 00:12:23,283 --> 00:12:24,793 DON'T MAKE HIM TOO BIG. 354 00:12:24,785 --> 00:12:27,785 DON'T MAKE HIM A HEAVY GUY BECAUSE HE'S A GREAT SIZE. 355 00:12:27,788 --> 00:12:29,628 PUT THAT WINNING SMILE ON HIS FACE, 356 00:12:29,629 --> 00:12:30,919 THE LITTLE DIMPLES HE'S GOT. 357 00:12:30,921 --> 00:12:32,921 GO AHEAD, SON. YOU'RE GONNA LOVE THIS. 358 00:12:32,923 --> 00:12:35,763 OKAY. I'M SORRY. I'M SORRY, MR. BURNS. 359 00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:37,835 HIS FATHER'S A LITTLE ANXIOUS. 360 00:12:37,838 --> 00:12:39,008 I UNDERSTAND. 361 00:12:39,009 --> 00:12:40,589 MAYBE I SHOULD SEE MICHAEL ALONE. 362 00:12:40,590 --> 00:12:42,970 MR. AND MRS. KYLE, YOU CAN WAIT OUT IN THE HALL. 363 00:12:42,973 --> 00:12:44,013 ALONE? 364 00:12:44,014 --> 00:12:45,274 THANK YOU. 365 00:12:45,265 --> 00:12:47,885 JUST YOU AND HIM IN THE -- IN THE SAME ROOM? 366 00:12:49,559 --> 00:12:51,559 OH, BUT -- WE CAN HANDLE THAT. 367 00:12:51,561 --> 00:12:53,851 YOU CAN HANDLE THAT, RIGHT, SON, HUH? 368 00:12:53,854 --> 00:12:55,994 HA HA. YOU'RE GONNA HANDLE THAT. 369 00:12:55,986 --> 00:12:58,566 WELL, OKAY. FINE. 370 00:12:58,568 --> 00:13:00,278 WE'LL BE -- 371 00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:01,740 IT'S REALLY NICE MEETING YOU. 372 00:13:01,741 --> 00:13:04,071 I'M SURE YOU'LL MAKE THE RIGHT DECISION. 373 00:13:04,074 --> 00:13:05,964 IN FACT, I'M CONFIDENT YOU WILL. 374 00:13:07,908 --> 00:13:08,748 UH, MR. KYLE... 375 00:13:08,748 --> 00:13:09,958 YES? 376 00:13:09,960 --> 00:13:11,710 YOU DROPPED SOME MONEY ON MY DESK. 377 00:13:11,711 --> 00:13:13,501 WELL, LOOK AT THAT. IT'S NOT MINE. 378 00:13:13,503 --> 00:13:14,753 THAT'S NOT POSSIBLE. 379 00:13:14,754 --> 00:13:17,844 WELL, THERE'S A WHOLE PILE OF HUNDREDS HERE. 380 00:13:17,838 --> 00:13:21,008 THAT'S NOT MINE, BUT I'M SURE THERE'S A LOT MORE 381 00:13:21,011 --> 00:13:22,631 WHERE THAT CAME FROM. 382 00:13:22,632 --> 00:13:25,772 I HEAR THE HUNDRED FAIRY IS VERY, VERY GENEROUS. 383 00:13:28,098 --> 00:13:30,728 HA HA. JUST TAKE THE MONEY, PLEASE. 384 00:13:30,730 --> 00:13:31,890 OKAY, FINE. 385 00:13:31,892 --> 00:13:33,732 I'LL TAKE THE MONEY THAT'S NOT MINE. 386 00:13:33,733 --> 00:13:37,443 I MEAN, WHO WOULD TURN DOWN FREE MONEY OTHER THAN YOU, HUH? 387 00:13:37,437 --> 00:13:40,697 I WANT YOU TO KNOW, MR. BURNS, IF THIS WAS MY MONEY, 388 00:13:40,700 --> 00:13:41,860 IF IN FACT IT IS, 389 00:13:41,862 --> 00:13:44,572 IT PROBABLY FELL OUT THROUGH A HOLE IN MY POCKET. 390 00:13:44,574 --> 00:13:46,294 I DIDN'T DROP IT INTENTIONALLY. 391 00:13:46,286 --> 00:13:47,326 JUST GO, PLEASE. 392 00:13:47,327 --> 00:13:48,327 WE'RE GOING. 393 00:13:48,328 --> 00:13:49,578 SIR... 394 00:13:49,579 --> 00:13:51,949 HUH? 395 00:13:51,952 --> 00:13:53,212 LOOK AT THAT. 396 00:13:53,213 --> 00:13:56,553 THAT MONEY JUST WON'T STAY IN MY POCKET. 397 00:13:56,546 --> 00:13:59,086 I'M REALLY A CLUMSY GUY. WHOOPSIE. 398 00:13:59,089 --> 00:14:00,129 OKAY. 399 00:14:00,130 --> 00:14:01,460 GO, PLEASE. 400 00:14:01,461 --> 00:14:03,511 YEAH. WE'RE GONE. WE'RE GONE. 401 00:14:08,098 --> 00:14:10,468 WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? WILL YOU -- 402 00:14:10,470 --> 00:14:11,810 STOP LISTENING AT THE DOOR. 403 00:14:11,811 --> 00:14:12,811 I'M SORRY. 404 00:14:12,812 --> 00:14:14,982 I JUST WANT THIS SO BADLY FOR THAT BOY. 405 00:14:14,975 --> 00:14:17,565 I'D DO ANYTHING TO GET JUNIOR INTO THIS COLLEGE. 406 00:14:17,567 --> 00:14:20,147 WELL, YOU CAN'T BRIBE YOUR WAY INTO THE COLLEGE. 407 00:14:20,150 --> 00:14:21,480 SURE YOU CAN, JAY. 408 00:14:21,481 --> 00:14:23,741 I JUST DIDN'T DROP ENOUGH CASH. 409 00:14:23,743 --> 00:14:26,043 SEE? HE'S NEGOTIATING WITH US, JAY. 410 00:14:26,036 --> 00:14:27,786 THE GUY'S PLAYING HARDBALL. 411 00:14:27,787 --> 00:14:30,867 HE KNOWS THAT ONLY THE TOP BILL WAS A 100. 412 00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:32,290 BUT I'M WEARING HIM DOWN. 413 00:14:32,292 --> 00:14:35,962 YOU SEE HOW LONG IT TOOK HIM TO GIVE IT BACK THE LAST TIME? 414 00:14:35,956 --> 00:14:37,416 I KNOW WHAT HE LIKES NOW. 415 00:14:37,417 --> 00:14:38,707 AND WHAT'S THAT? 416 00:14:38,708 --> 00:14:39,998 STEAK. 417 00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:43,340 SEE? IF I'D HAVE HAD SOME MEAT BETWEEN THAT $100 BILL, 418 00:14:43,343 --> 00:14:46,643 JUNIOR WOULD HAVE BEEN GOING TO REDDINGTON BY NOW. 419 00:14:46,636 --> 00:14:47,926 YOU ARE SO RIDICULOUS. 420 00:14:47,928 --> 00:14:51,308 OH, GOD, MICHAEL, I HOPE WE'RE DOING THE RIGHT THING. 421 00:14:51,311 --> 00:14:52,891 WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT? 422 00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:54,892 I KEEP PICTURING HIM AND THAT GIRL HERE. 423 00:14:54,894 --> 00:14:56,404 HE'S SO CRAZY ABOUT HER. 424 00:14:56,396 --> 00:14:58,476 HOW LONG WILL IT BE BEFORE HE GETS INTO TROUBLE? 425 00:14:58,478 --> 00:15:00,688 LOOK, THEY CAN GET INTO TROUBLE ANYWHERE. 426 00:15:00,690 --> 00:15:01,820 AT LEAST HERE, 427 00:15:01,821 --> 00:15:04,151 THEY'LL BE LEARNING SOMETHING IN THE PROCESS. 428 00:15:04,154 --> 00:15:06,374 I CAN'T HELP BUT WORRY. I'M A MOTHER. 429 00:15:06,366 --> 00:15:08,736 HEY, I WORRY ABOUT OUR KIDS, TOO. 430 00:15:08,738 --> 00:15:10,948 DO YOU THINK WE SHOULD ACKNOWLEDGE 431 00:15:10,951 --> 00:15:12,621 THAT CLAIRE'S A BLONDE? 432 00:15:12,622 --> 00:15:15,712 NAH. IT'S TOO MUCH FUN TORTURING HER RIGHT NOW. 433 00:15:15,705 --> 00:15:18,035 WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN TO THEM, MICHAEL? 434 00:15:18,038 --> 00:15:19,338 I DON'T KNOW, JAY. 435 00:15:19,339 --> 00:15:21,039 KIDS ARE LIKE BOWLING BALLS. 436 00:15:21,041 --> 00:15:23,631 SOMETIMES YOU JUST GOT TO LET 'EM GO, 437 00:15:23,633 --> 00:15:25,763 AND THEN KIND OF DO THIS... 438 00:15:29,349 --> 00:15:31,549 AND HOPE THEY DON'T END UP IN THE GUTTER. 439 00:15:31,551 --> 00:15:34,471 SPEAKING OF BOWLING BALLS, HEY, HOW'D IT GO IN THERE? 440 00:15:34,474 --> 00:15:36,984 GREAT. WE TALKED ABOUT ALL KINDS OF STUFF. 441 00:15:36,977 --> 00:15:38,977 OH, BOY, WE'RE DEAD IN THE WATER. 442 00:15:38,979 --> 00:15:41,609 NO, DAD. IT WAS A VERY STIMULATING CONVERSATION. 443 00:15:41,611 --> 00:15:42,611 WIDE-RANGING. 444 00:15:42,612 --> 00:15:44,992 HE SAID I WAS A VERY PECULIAR YOUNG MAN. 445 00:15:44,985 --> 00:15:47,235 TRANSLATION -- "WE DON'T WANT YOU HERE." 446 00:15:47,237 --> 00:15:48,527 NO, DAD, HE SAID THAT 447 00:15:48,528 --> 00:15:51,328 IF I'M WILLING TO TAKE A FEW EXTRA COURSES AND DO WELL, 448 00:15:51,331 --> 00:15:53,831 PLAY ANOTHER SPORT, LEARN ANOTHER LANGUAGE, 449 00:15:53,833 --> 00:15:55,213 AND GROW A COUPLE OF INCHES, 450 00:15:55,205 --> 00:15:56,745 THERE'S A 25% TO 30% CHANCE 451 00:15:56,746 --> 00:15:59,076 THAT I COULD MOVE UP ON THE WAITING LIST. 452 00:15:59,079 --> 00:16:02,789 WOW. 25% TO 30% CHANCE. 453 00:16:02,792 --> 00:16:03,882 YOU KNOW WHAT? 454 00:16:03,883 --> 00:16:05,183 IF YOU KEEP GETTING NEWS LIKE THAT, SON, 455 00:16:05,175 --> 00:16:07,255 YOU'LL BE HALFWAY WHERE YOU WANT TO BE IN LIFE. 456 00:16:07,257 --> 00:16:08,967 THANKS, DAD. I OWE IT ALL TO YOU. 457 00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:10,928 MAN, YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN HIS FACE 458 00:16:10,930 --> 00:16:13,970 WHEN I TOLD HIM ABOUT MY COMIC BOOK ON TOILET PAPER IDEA. 459 00:16:17,517 --> 00:16:18,687 COME ON, LET'S GO. 460 00:16:18,688 --> 00:16:19,728 WHERE ARE WE GOING? 461 00:16:19,729 --> 00:16:21,479 GET A SIDE OF BEEF. 462 00:16:31,031 --> 00:16:33,071 CAN I TALK TO YOU FOR A SECOND? 463 00:16:33,073 --> 00:16:34,113 YEAH, SURE. WHAT'S UP? 464 00:16:34,114 --> 00:16:36,834 HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT JUNIOR LEAVING HOME? 465 00:16:36,826 --> 00:16:39,996 OH, I'M THRILLED. I CANNOT BE HAPPIER. 466 00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:41,039 YEAH, ME TOO. 467 00:16:41,041 --> 00:16:42,041 WHO NEEDS HIM? 468 00:16:42,042 --> 00:16:43,122 NOT ME. 469 00:16:43,123 --> 00:16:45,593 I'VE BEEN WEARING A BLOND WIG FOR TWO DAYS, 470 00:16:45,585 --> 00:16:47,675 AND MOM AND DAD HAVEN'T EVEN BLINKED. 471 00:16:47,677 --> 00:16:49,547 MAYBE WHEN JUNIOR'S FINALLY GONE, 472 00:16:49,549 --> 00:16:51,679 THEY'LL START PAYING ATTENTION TO US. 473 00:16:51,681 --> 00:16:53,761 I CAN'T WAIT UNTIL HE LEAVES. 474 00:16:53,763 --> 00:16:54,763 ME NEITHER. 475 00:16:56,015 --> 00:17:00,015 OF COURSE, I WILL MISS THE COOKIES. 476 00:17:00,019 --> 00:17:01,189 WHAT COOKIES? 477 00:17:01,191 --> 00:17:03,521 EVERY NIGHT, AFTER I GO TO SLEEP, 478 00:17:03,523 --> 00:17:05,993 JUNIOR PUTS A CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIE 479 00:17:05,985 --> 00:17:07,065 OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. 480 00:17:07,067 --> 00:17:09,197 THOSE COOKIES ARE FROM JUNIOR? 481 00:17:09,199 --> 00:17:10,359 YOU GET ONE, TOO? 482 00:17:10,360 --> 00:17:13,150 YEAH, BUT I THOUGHT THEY WERE FROM MOM OR DAD 483 00:17:13,153 --> 00:17:14,533 OR THE COOKIE FAIRY. 484 00:17:14,534 --> 00:17:17,124 I NEVER THOUGHT THEY WERE FROM JUNIOR. 485 00:17:17,117 --> 00:17:18,327 YEAH, JUNIOR SAID 486 00:17:18,328 --> 00:17:21,248 AS LONG AS THERE'S A COOKIE OUTSIDE OF YOUR DOOR, 487 00:17:21,251 --> 00:17:22,961 BAD DREAMS CAN'T GET IN. 488 00:17:22,962 --> 00:17:26,262 HUH. IMAGINE THAT. 489 00:17:26,256 --> 00:17:27,926 JUNIOR? 490 00:17:27,927 --> 00:17:30,627 YEP. JUNIOR. 491 00:17:30,630 --> 00:17:33,760 AH, I'M STILL NOT GONNA MISS HIM. 492 00:17:33,763 --> 00:17:34,973 ME NEITHER. 493 00:17:38,098 --> 00:17:40,768 [ SIGHS ] I'M SO NERVOUS ABOUT GRADUATION. 494 00:17:40,770 --> 00:17:42,980 WHAT ARE YOU NERVOUS ABOUT? 495 00:17:42,982 --> 00:17:45,022 TRIPPING AND FALLING ON MY FACE. 496 00:17:45,024 --> 00:17:47,784 EVERY YEAR THAT HAPPENS TO SOME POOR DOOFUS. 497 00:17:47,777 --> 00:17:49,897 DON'T YOU WORRY. THAT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN TO YOU. 498 00:17:49,899 --> 00:17:51,899 YOU KNOW WHAT, CLAIRE? I REALLY LIKE YOUR HAIR. 499 00:17:51,901 --> 00:17:54,781 FINALLY! SOMEBODY NOTICES! 500 00:17:54,784 --> 00:17:56,044 NOTICES WHAT? 501 00:17:56,035 --> 00:17:58,405 I'VE BEEN A BLONDE FOR THE BETTER PART OF A WEEK. 502 00:17:58,408 --> 00:17:59,458 GET OUTTA HERE. 503 00:17:59,459 --> 00:18:00,659 THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE, CLAIRE. 504 00:18:02,162 --> 00:18:05,632 WHAT? WILL YOU LOOK AT THAT? 505 00:18:05,625 --> 00:18:08,125 I GUESS I DIDN'T NOTICE BECAUSE IT HAPPENED SO GRADUALLY. 506 00:18:08,128 --> 00:18:09,878 NOW, WAS THIS A COSMETIC CHANGE 507 00:18:09,879 --> 00:18:11,549 OR A DESPERATE PLEA FOR ATTENTION? 508 00:18:11,551 --> 00:18:13,511 IT WAS A DESPERATE PLEA FOR ATTENTION 509 00:18:13,513 --> 00:18:14,973 THAT OBVIOUSLY DIDN'T WORK. 510 00:18:14,974 --> 00:18:16,314 LOOK AT IT THIS WAY, CLAIRE. 511 00:18:16,306 --> 00:18:18,096 IN ANOTHER TWO YEARS, YOU'LL BE GRADUATING, 512 00:18:18,097 --> 00:18:19,767 AND THEN WE'LL BE IGNORING KADY. 513 00:18:19,769 --> 00:18:21,059 HEY! 514 00:18:21,060 --> 00:18:23,060 Junior: OH, MY GOD. IT CAME. IT CAME. 515 00:18:23,062 --> 00:18:24,222 WHAT? WHAT? 516 00:18:24,224 --> 00:18:25,284 A LETTER FROM THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE 517 00:18:25,275 --> 00:18:26,315 AT REDDINGTON UNIVERSITY. 518 00:18:26,316 --> 00:18:27,356 OKAY. 519 00:18:27,357 --> 00:18:28,687 OPEN IT, OPEN IT. 520 00:18:28,688 --> 00:18:31,028 NO, NO, DON'T OPEN IT. OKAY, OPEN IT. 521 00:18:31,030 --> 00:18:32,110 OKAY, OKAY, OKAY, OKAY. 522 00:18:32,111 --> 00:18:33,441 WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. 523 00:18:33,443 --> 00:18:34,613 I GOTTA DO THE HAPPY DANCE. 524 00:18:34,614 --> 00:18:36,204 ♪ YA DA DA-DA, DA-DA DA ♪ 525 00:18:36,196 --> 00:18:38,156 ♪ YA DA DA DA DA, DA-DA DO ♪ 526 00:18:38,158 --> 00:18:41,038 ♪ YA DE DE DE, DA DA DA DA DA DA ♪ 527 00:18:41,040 --> 00:18:42,620 [ CLUCKS TONGUE ] 528 00:18:42,622 --> 00:18:44,202 GIVE ME THIS. GIVE IT TO ME. 529 00:18:44,204 --> 00:18:45,714 I GOTTA KISS IT. I GOTTA KISS IT. 530 00:18:45,705 --> 00:18:46,705 [ SMOOCHES ] 531 00:18:46,706 --> 00:18:48,166 YEAH, LET ME GET A KISS. [ SMOOCHING ] 532 00:18:48,168 --> 00:18:49,378 HERE, KISS IT. THERE YOU GO. 533 00:18:49,379 --> 00:18:51,339 OKAY, OPEN IT. OPEN IT. 534 00:18:51,341 --> 00:18:54,251 WHAT ARE YOU WAITING AROUND FOR? 535 00:18:54,254 --> 00:18:55,474 WHAT DOES IT SAY? 536 00:18:55,465 --> 00:18:58,425 "DEAR MR. KYLE, I GREATLY ENJOYED MEETING YOU RECENTLY 537 00:18:58,428 --> 00:19:01,258 "AND WAS IMPRESSED WITH YOUR PECULIAR LIFE VIEW 538 00:19:01,261 --> 00:19:02,721 "AND YOUR SPECIAL ABILITIES. 539 00:19:02,722 --> 00:19:05,192 "THEREFORE, I WOULD LIKE TO EXTEND TO YOU 540 00:19:05,185 --> 00:19:07,975 "A PROVISIONAL ACCEPTANCE TO REDDINGTON UNIVERSITY. 541 00:19:07,977 --> 00:19:10,357 P.S. TELL YOUR FATHER THANK YOU FOR THE STEAKS." 542 00:19:10,360 --> 00:19:11,400 OH, BABY! 543 00:19:11,401 --> 00:19:14,271 I TOLD YOU. I TOLD YOU HE LIKED STEAK. 544 00:19:14,274 --> 00:19:15,874 I KNEW HE LIKED STEAK. 545 00:19:15,865 --> 00:19:18,115 WAIT A MINUTE. HO, HO, HO, HO. 546 00:19:18,117 --> 00:19:20,157 LET'S NOT GET ALL WORKED UP. 547 00:19:20,159 --> 00:19:21,699 WHY NOT, BABY? 548 00:19:21,701 --> 00:19:24,281 IF I HEARD CORRECTLY, IT SAID PROVISIONAL ACCEPTANCE. 549 00:19:24,284 --> 00:19:26,214 ANYTIME THEY SAY "PROVISIONAL," 550 00:19:26,206 --> 00:19:28,246 THAT MEANS THEY'RE GONNA SHOW YOU SOMETHING 551 00:19:28,248 --> 00:19:29,708 THAT YOU REALLY CAN'T HAVE. 552 00:19:29,709 --> 00:19:31,549 YEAH. SO, WHAT ARE THE PROVISIONS? 553 00:19:31,551 --> 00:19:34,051 I HAVE TO COMPLETE TWO SUMMER-SCHOOL COURSES -- 554 00:19:34,053 --> 00:19:35,803 CALCULUS AND AMERICAN LITERATURE. 555 00:19:35,795 --> 00:19:37,135 WELL, THERE GOES REDDINGTON. 556 00:19:37,136 --> 00:19:39,006 NO, NO, NO, THIS IS GOOD NEWS 557 00:19:39,008 --> 00:19:40,928 BECAUSE I LOVE AMERICAN LITERATURE, 558 00:19:40,930 --> 00:19:43,510 AND I'M PRETTY SURE CALCULUS WAS A GREAT GLADIATOR. 559 00:19:45,144 --> 00:19:47,234 YOU KNOW WHAT? I'LL HELP YOU STUDY. 560 00:19:47,227 --> 00:19:49,307 YEAH. WE'LL ALL HELP YOU STUDY. 561 00:19:49,309 --> 00:19:51,229 YOU KNOW WHAT, SON? I'M PROUD OF YOU. 562 00:19:51,231 --> 00:19:52,861 THIS IS GOOD NEWS. 563 00:19:52,862 --> 00:19:54,732 THIS IS BETTER THAN GOOD. THIS IS SENSATIONAL. 564 00:19:54,734 --> 00:19:56,374 BECAUSE NOW, WHEN WE GO AWAY TO COLLEGE, 565 00:19:56,366 --> 00:19:58,276 WE CAN MOVE IN TOGETHER, AND WE CAN GET MARRIED. 566 00:20:08,668 --> 00:20:15,208 Gasp 567 00:20:15,214 --> 00:20:17,014 MICHAEL ARE YOU ALRIGHT? 568 00:20:17,006 --> 00:20:18,256 YEAH, THE SHOCK OF THAT 569 00:20:18,258 --> 00:20:20,798 JUST KNOCKED ME OFF MY SEAT 570 00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:22,680 WHEN DID YOU SAID... 571 00:20:23,303 --> 00:20:26,313 WHAT COLLEGE?