1 00:00:03,714 --> 00:00:05,224 MOM? 2 00:00:05,216 --> 00:00:06,296 YEAH, BABY. WHAT'S UP? 3 00:00:06,297 --> 00:00:07,967 YOU'RE GONNA BE UPSET AT ME. 4 00:00:07,968 --> 00:00:11,048 CLAIRE, I JUST CAME FROM YOGA. I'VE BEEN MEDITATING. 5 00:00:11,052 --> 00:00:12,722 I'M FEELING CALM AND SERENE. 6 00:00:12,723 --> 00:00:14,983 NOTHING CAN UPSET ME, SO WHAT IS IT? 7 00:00:14,975 --> 00:00:18,015 YOU KNOW YOUR FAVORITE PINK CASHMERE BLOUSE YOU TOLD ME NEVER TO WEAR? 8 00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:20,138 GIRL, NO, YOU DID NOT -- YOGA! YOGA! 9 00:00:20,141 --> 00:00:22,141 [ INHALES DEEPLY ] 10 00:00:22,143 --> 00:00:25,243 [ EXHALES DEEPLY ] 11 00:00:25,236 --> 00:00:27,986 SO, DID YOU WEAR IT, BABY? 12 00:00:27,988 --> 00:00:29,358 NO. 13 00:00:29,360 --> 00:00:30,570 OH, OKAY. 14 00:00:30,571 --> 00:00:32,111 I WASHED IT. 15 00:00:32,113 --> 00:00:34,503 YOU WHAT?! YOGA! YOGA! YOGA! 16 00:00:34,495 --> 00:00:37,495 [ EXHALES DEEPLY ] 17 00:00:37,498 --> 00:00:38,618 OKAY. 18 00:00:38,619 --> 00:00:40,369 WHY DID YOU DO THAT, BABY? 19 00:00:40,371 --> 00:00:42,871 I WANTED IT TO BE CLEAN WHEN I WORE IT? 20 00:00:42,873 --> 00:00:46,883 [ EXHALES DEEPLY ] 21 00:00:46,877 --> 00:00:49,717 I ACCEPT MY PLACE IN THE UNIVERSE. 22 00:00:49,720 --> 00:00:53,340 I REALIZE THAT THIS JOURNEY THAT WE CALL LIFE 23 00:00:53,344 --> 00:00:55,444 REQUIRES LOVE AND PATIENCE. 24 00:00:55,436 --> 00:00:56,976 [ EXHALES DEEPLY ] 25 00:00:56,977 --> 00:01:00,267 WOW, THAT WAS REALLY BEAUTIFUL, MOM. 26 00:01:00,271 --> 00:01:02,101 THANK YOU. YOU'RE GROUNDED FOR A WEEK! 27 00:01:02,103 --> 00:01:03,353 MOM! TWO WEEKS! 28 00:01:03,354 --> 00:01:04,904 BUT WHAT ABOUT THE JOURNEY?! THREE WEEKS! 29 00:01:04,895 --> 00:01:06,065 BYE. 30 00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:07,856 [ INHALES AND EXHALES DEEPLY ] 31 00:01:07,858 --> 00:01:10,028 THAT FELT GOOD. 32 00:01:10,030 --> 00:01:11,280 HEY, BABY. 33 00:01:11,282 --> 00:01:13,362 HEY, YOU. HOW WAS GOLF? 34 00:01:13,364 --> 00:01:14,544 GLORIOUS. 35 00:01:14,535 --> 00:01:16,115 OH, I WAS OUT THERE. 36 00:01:16,117 --> 00:01:18,457 I FELT LIKE I WAS WALKING THROUGH A PARK KICKING A CAN. 37 00:01:18,459 --> 00:01:20,199 I MEAN, IT WAS THE PERFECT TEMPERATURE. 38 00:01:20,201 --> 00:01:22,791 THE SUN WAS JUST GLISTENING OF MY HEAD 39 00:01:22,793 --> 00:01:24,713 AND MASSAGING IT VERY GENTLY. 40 00:01:24,705 --> 00:01:26,255 THE BREEZE WAS PERFECT. 41 00:01:26,257 --> 00:01:28,917 OH, GOLF IS JUST THE MOST AMAZING GAME. 42 00:01:28,919 --> 00:01:30,419 I'D LIKE TO GO WITH YOU SOMETIME. 43 00:01:30,421 --> 00:01:32,761 YOU WOULDN'T LIKE IT. 44 00:01:32,763 --> 00:01:35,603 A LOT OF SNAKES AND BUGS AND YOUR ALLERGIES KICK UP, 45 00:01:35,596 --> 00:01:38,426 AND THEN, YOU KNOW, YOU GOT THE GANGSTERS OUT THERE 46 00:01:38,429 --> 00:01:40,849 SHOOTING EVERYBODY UP AND PURSE-SNATCHING. 47 00:01:40,851 --> 00:01:42,061 IT'S A DANGEROUS GAME. 48 00:01:42,062 --> 00:01:43,642 WILL YOU STOP IT, MICHAEL? 49 00:01:43,644 --> 00:01:45,944 YOU KNOW, TODAY IN YOGA CLASS, I HAD AN EPIPHANY. 50 00:01:45,936 --> 00:01:48,276 DID YOU BRING A CHANGE OF CLOTHES? [ LAUGHS ] 51 00:01:48,279 --> 00:01:49,689 MICHAEL, IT OCCURRED TO ME 52 00:01:49,690 --> 00:01:52,030 THAT I WANT TO SPEND MORE TIME WITH YOU. 53 00:01:52,032 --> 00:01:53,692 EVEN MORE? 54 00:01:53,694 --> 00:01:55,294 YEAH. 55 00:01:55,286 --> 00:01:57,446 WHY DON'T WE GO UPSTAIRS AND TAKE A SHOWER? 56 00:01:57,448 --> 00:01:59,498 THAT WAY, IF YOU HAVE ANOTHER EPIPHANY, 57 00:01:59,500 --> 00:02:01,040 IT'LL GO RIGHT DOWN THE DRAIN. 58 00:02:01,041 --> 00:02:03,241 I'M TALKING ABOUT COMMUNICATING AND SHARING. 59 00:02:03,244 --> 00:02:05,754 I THINK THE GOLF COURSE IS A PERFECT PLACE TO DO THAT. 60 00:02:05,746 --> 00:02:07,506 I THINK THE SHOWER'S BETTER. 61 00:02:07,508 --> 00:02:11,168 COME ON, BABY. I WANT TO FIND WAYS TO GET CLOSER TO YOU. 62 00:02:11,172 --> 00:02:13,342 DON'T MENTION THE SHOWER AGAIN. 63 00:02:13,344 --> 00:02:15,394 OKAY. BATHTUB? JACUZZI? SINK? 64 00:02:15,386 --> 00:02:16,756 NO, MICHAEL! 65 00:02:16,757 --> 00:02:19,017 OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT? LET'S MAKE A DEAL. 66 00:02:19,019 --> 00:02:22,179 IF YOU TAKE ME GOLFING, I'LL GO AND TAKE A SHOWER, 67 00:02:22,183 --> 00:02:26,153 'CAUSE, YOU KNOW, RIGHT NOW I'M FEELING VERY, VERY, VERY DIRTY. 68 00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:28,106 YOU FEEL DIRTY? 69 00:02:28,108 --> 00:02:29,728 [ CHUCKLES ] 70 00:02:29,730 --> 00:02:31,230 I FEEL DIRTY, TOO. 71 00:02:31,232 --> 00:02:33,272 [ GROWLS ] [ SQUEALS ] 72 00:02:33,274 --> 00:02:34,494 HI. 73 00:02:34,485 --> 00:02:36,405 GO AWAY. 74 00:02:36,407 --> 00:02:38,657 I'M GROUNDED FOR THREE WEEKS. 75 00:02:38,659 --> 00:02:41,039 YOU THINK YOU'VE GOT PROBLEMS? 76 00:02:41,041 --> 00:02:43,281 THERE ARE ONLY TWO COLLEGES THAT I'VE APPLIED TO THAT HAVEN'T REJECTED ME. 77 00:02:43,284 --> 00:02:46,254 YOU'RE APPLYING TO COLLEGE? THAT'S HYSTERICAL. 78 00:02:46,247 --> 00:02:47,547 [ LAUGHING ] 79 00:02:49,840 --> 00:02:52,460 COLLEGE, HUH? 80 00:02:52,463 --> 00:02:54,853 YEAH, YOU KNOW, SINCE VANESSA AND I HAVE BECOME SERIOUS, 81 00:02:54,845 --> 00:02:57,175 AND SHE'S AN "A" STUDENT WHO'S DEFINITELY GOING TO SCHOOL, 82 00:02:57,177 --> 00:02:59,637 I HAVE TO GET MY ACT TOGETHER IF I WANT TO BE WITH HER. 83 00:02:59,640 --> 00:03:01,560 DO MOM AND DAD KNOW ABOUT THIS? 84 00:03:01,562 --> 00:03:04,232 NO, AND I WOULD APPRECIATE IT IF YOU DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING. 85 00:03:04,225 --> 00:03:05,565 THEY'D JUST NAG ME TO DEATH. 86 00:03:05,566 --> 00:03:07,476 "JUNIOR, YOU SHOULD TAKE THE S.A.T.s." 87 00:03:07,478 --> 00:03:09,688 "JUNIOR, YOU SHOULD FILL OUT YOUR APPLICATION." 88 00:03:09,690 --> 00:03:12,400 "JUNIOR, YOU SHOULDN'T FORGE YOUR RECOMMENDATION LETTERS." 89 00:03:12,403 --> 00:03:13,653 BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. 90 00:03:13,654 --> 00:03:15,494 YOU FORGED YOUR RECOMMENDATION LETTERS? 91 00:03:15,486 --> 00:03:17,906 WHO'S GONNA CHECK WITH DONALD RUMSFELD? 92 00:03:17,908 --> 00:03:19,948 SO, WHAT SCHOOLS ARE YOU DOWN TO? 93 00:03:19,950 --> 00:03:22,660 WELL, THERE'S HAMBURGER UNIVERSITY IN ILLINOIS. 94 00:03:22,663 --> 00:03:24,593 HAMBURGER UNIVERSITY? WHAT'S THAT? 95 00:03:24,585 --> 00:03:26,245 IT'S FAST-FOOD SCHOOL. 96 00:03:26,247 --> 00:03:29,127 SO WHEN YOU GET YOUR DEGREE, DO THEY GIVE YOU FRIES WITH IT? 97 00:03:29,129 --> 00:03:31,379 [ LAUGHING ] 98 00:03:34,044 --> 00:03:36,724 FAST FOOD, HUH? HMM. 99 00:03:36,717 --> 00:03:39,717 UH, SO WHAT'S THE OTHER ONE? 100 00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:41,840 WELL, THE OTHER ONE LOOKS LIKE A GREAT SCHOOL. 101 00:03:41,842 --> 00:03:44,612 IT'S ON THE TOP FLOOR OF AN OFFICE BUILDING IN TAMPA, FLORIDA. 102 00:03:44,605 --> 00:03:45,895 WHAT'S IT CALLED? 103 00:03:45,896 --> 00:03:47,896 HAMMERHEAD TECH UNIVERSITY. 104 00:03:47,898 --> 00:03:50,058 OH, SOUNDS LIKE A PERFECT PICK FOR YOU. 105 00:03:50,060 --> 00:03:52,650 YEAH, WELL, THE ONLY PROBLEM IS I HAVE TO WRITE AN ESSAY 106 00:03:52,653 --> 00:03:55,363 ON WHY I WANT TO GO THERE, AND I'M HAVING TROUBLE WITH IT. 107 00:03:55,356 --> 00:03:58,316 OH, WELL, I CAN'T HELP YOU. I'M LOUSY AT ESSAYS. 108 00:03:58,319 --> 00:04:01,489 WHAT YOU NEED IS SOMEONE SMART, SOMEBODY CREATIVE. 109 00:04:01,492 --> 00:04:03,322 YEAH, BUT I DON'T KNOW ANYBODY LIKE THAT. 110 00:04:03,324 --> 00:04:05,424 [ CLASSICAL PIANO MUSIC PLAYING ] 111 00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:16,014 ISN'T HE GREAT? 112 00:04:16,006 --> 00:04:18,426 HE SURE IS. FRANKLIN, CAN I TALK TO YOU FOR A MINUTE? 113 00:04:18,429 --> 00:04:19,799 NO! 114 00:04:19,800 --> 00:04:21,470 WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF HER LESSON. 115 00:04:21,472 --> 00:04:23,142 OH, THIS WILL JUST TAKE A MINUTE, FRANKLIN. 116 00:04:23,143 --> 00:04:25,393 AND IN THE MEANTIME, YOU CAN COME WITH ME 117 00:04:25,386 --> 00:04:27,266 AND I'LL LET YOU PUT ON MY MAKEUP. 118 00:04:27,267 --> 00:04:28,267 OKAY. 119 00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:29,888 I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 120 00:04:29,890 --> 00:04:33,690 I'LL BE COUNTING THE SECONDS, MY DOVE. 121 00:04:34,855 --> 00:04:36,275 SO, FRA-- 122 00:04:38,489 --> 00:04:40,359 WHAT DO YOU WANT? 123 00:04:40,361 --> 00:04:42,991 WELL, THAT'S KIND OF A HOSTILE ATTITUDE. 124 00:04:42,993 --> 00:04:44,673 HEY, I WAS JUST SITTING HERE 125 00:04:44,665 --> 00:04:46,905 WITH GOD'S GREATEST GIFT TO MANKIND, 126 00:04:46,907 --> 00:04:49,367 AND NOW I'M STUCK WITH HIS BIGGEST JOKE. 127 00:04:49,370 --> 00:04:52,370 SO MAKE IT QUICK. 128 00:04:52,373 --> 00:04:55,473 OKAY. 129 00:04:55,466 --> 00:04:58,416 UM... 130 00:04:58,419 --> 00:05:01,379 LOOK, I NEED SOME HELP WRITING A COLLEGE ESSAY. 131 00:05:01,382 --> 00:05:02,922 NO PROBLEM. 132 00:05:02,923 --> 00:05:05,103 I WROTE A LOT OF THOSE WHEN I WAS APPLYING TO COLLEGE. 133 00:05:05,095 --> 00:05:06,555 YOU ALREADY APPLIED TO COLLEGE? 134 00:05:06,557 --> 00:05:08,057 DUH! 135 00:05:08,058 --> 00:05:10,228 I GRADUATED FROM AN IVY LEAGUE SCHOOL TWO YEARS AGO. 136 00:05:10,230 --> 00:05:11,270 HOW? 137 00:05:11,271 --> 00:05:12,601 THROUGH THE INTERNET. 138 00:05:12,603 --> 00:05:14,143 WHAT DID YOU STUDY? 139 00:05:14,144 --> 00:05:17,494 OH, MARINE ARCHAEOLOGY, QUANTUM PHYSICS, BIOCHEMISTRY -- 140 00:05:17,488 --> 00:05:19,238 YOU KNOW, JUST THE BASICS. 141 00:05:19,239 --> 00:05:21,439 YEAH, DID YOU TAKE ANY FUN COURSES? 142 00:05:21,442 --> 00:05:24,412 HELLO! DIDN'T YOU HEAR ME SAY "QUANTUM PHYSICS"? 143 00:05:26,206 --> 00:05:27,746 COME ON. 144 00:05:27,748 --> 00:05:31,118 LET'S GET THIS OVER WITH SO I CAN GET BACK TO KADY. 145 00:05:31,121 --> 00:05:32,951 ALL RIGHT. 146 00:05:32,953 --> 00:05:36,553 HEY, DO YOU THINK MAYBE I CAN GET INTO AN IVY LEAGUE SCHOOL? 147 00:05:36,547 --> 00:05:38,127 UH, NO. 148 00:05:41,051 --> 00:05:42,881 HEY, YO. WHAT'S UP, MIKE? 149 00:05:42,883 --> 00:05:46,273 I DIDN'T EXPECT TO SEE YOU HERE TODAY. WHO YOU PLAYING WITH? 150 00:05:46,266 --> 00:05:49,306 OH, LORD. HOW'D THIS HAPPEN? 151 00:05:49,309 --> 00:05:51,469 SHE SAYS SHE WANTS TO SPEND QUALITY TIME. 152 00:05:51,472 --> 00:05:54,352 OH, NO! QUALITY TIME! THAT'S THE KISS OF DEATH! 153 00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:55,444 TELL ME ABOUT IT. 154 00:05:55,436 --> 00:05:57,146 QUICK, WHILE SHE'S NOT LOOKING, 155 00:05:57,147 --> 00:05:59,237 HIT ME IN THE HEAD SO I CAN GO HOME. 156 00:05:59,239 --> 00:06:00,399 [ LAUGHS ] 157 00:06:00,401 --> 00:06:02,071 HEY, MAXIE! 158 00:06:02,072 --> 00:06:03,322 HEY! 159 00:06:03,323 --> 00:06:05,793 E-ENJOY YOUR GAME, BRO. 160 00:06:05,786 --> 00:06:06,986 YEAH. 161 00:06:06,987 --> 00:06:08,617 [ CLANGING ] 162 00:06:11,662 --> 00:06:13,412 COME ON! 163 00:06:25,716 --> 00:06:27,766 HIT THAT BALL, BABY! 164 00:06:27,768 --> 00:06:30,268 WHOO! THAT'S OKAY. THAT'S OKAY. 165 00:06:30,270 --> 00:06:33,680 IF AT FIRST YOU DON'T SUCCEED, TRY, TRY AGAIN. 166 00:06:33,684 --> 00:06:35,404 HONEY? YES? 167 00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:37,515 WHEN I'M ABOUT TO HIT THE BALL, 168 00:06:37,518 --> 00:06:41,278 WHEN YOU CHEER LIKE THAT, IT THROWS ME OFF, OKAY, SNOOKUM? 169 00:06:41,281 --> 00:06:43,941 OH, OKAY. I'M SORRY. I'LL BE QUIET AS A MOUSE. 170 00:06:43,944 --> 00:06:45,164 THANK YOU, BABY. 171 00:06:45,155 --> 00:06:47,365 OKAY, BABY. QUIET AS A MOUSE. 172 00:06:47,367 --> 00:06:48,947 YOU LOOK CUTE OVER THERE. 173 00:06:48,949 --> 00:06:50,369 THANK YOU. [ GIGGLES ] 174 00:06:50,370 --> 00:06:53,030 [ RATTLING ] 175 00:07:00,541 --> 00:07:02,211 SQUEAK! 176 00:07:02,212 --> 00:07:05,012 [ LAUGHS ] 177 00:07:05,005 --> 00:07:07,465 I SAID "QUIET AS A MOUSE," THEN I SAID "SQUEAK." 178 00:07:07,468 --> 00:07:08,888 WASN'T THAT CUTE? 179 00:07:08,889 --> 00:07:11,809 [ LAUGHS ] QUIET! 180 00:07:11,812 --> 00:07:14,142 [ EXAGGERATED LAUGHING ] 181 00:07:17,317 --> 00:07:19,437 HMM. 182 00:07:24,865 --> 00:07:27,065 YOU DA MAN! WHOO! 183 00:07:27,067 --> 00:07:29,327 BABE! LET ME SEE! [ GASPS ] 184 00:07:29,329 --> 00:07:30,949 TOUCHDOWN! 185 00:07:30,951 --> 00:07:34,161 YEAH! RIGHT IN THE SAND! 186 00:07:34,164 --> 00:07:36,044 BABE, YOU WANT A HAMBURGER? 187 00:07:36,036 --> 00:07:38,036 NO. I DON'T WANT A HAMBURGER. 188 00:07:38,038 --> 00:07:39,788 I GOT HOT DOGS. 189 00:07:39,790 --> 00:07:42,540 I DON'T WANT A HOT DOG, A TURKEY SANDWICH, A KNACKWURST. 190 00:07:42,543 --> 00:07:45,763 I JUST WANT TO PLAY GOLF, OKAY? WE'LL EAT AFTERWARDS. 191 00:07:45,756 --> 00:07:47,466 OKAY. 192 00:07:50,801 --> 00:07:52,511 MICHAEL KYLE APPROACHES THE BALL. 193 00:07:52,513 --> 00:07:54,563 IF HE GETS THIS ONE IN THE BASKET, 194 00:07:54,555 --> 00:07:56,595 HE'LL WIN THE WORLD SERIES OF GOLF. 195 00:07:56,597 --> 00:07:58,767 ARE YOU DONE, JIMMY KIMMEL? 196 00:07:58,769 --> 00:08:01,149 YEAH, IT WAS FUN, THOUGH. 197 00:08:03,363 --> 00:08:05,573 [ CLANGING ] 198 00:08:07,067 --> 00:08:10,107 NO, IT'S STILL THERE. SEE, IT'S RIGHT THERE. 199 00:08:10,110 --> 00:08:11,530 NO KIDDING. 200 00:08:11,532 --> 00:08:14,032 YEAH, YOU KNOW WHAT? I KNOW WHAT YOUR PROBLEM IS. 201 00:08:14,034 --> 00:08:16,544 I THINK YOUR HANDS AREN'T GETTING HIGH ENOUGH 202 00:08:16,537 --> 00:08:18,247 IN YOUR BACKSWING. 203 00:08:18,248 --> 00:08:21,038 SO YOU SHOULD TRY TO DO IT LIKE TIGER WOODS WOULD DO IT. 204 00:08:21,041 --> 00:08:22,421 OH, JUST HIT THE BALL 205 00:08:22,422 --> 00:08:24,422 LIKE THE GREATEST GOLFER IN THE WORLD, HUH? 206 00:08:24,424 --> 00:08:26,724 YEAH, WELL, YOU'RE ALREADY DOING IT LIKE THE WORST. 207 00:08:26,717 --> 00:08:28,127 [ LAUGHS ] 208 00:08:30,390 --> 00:08:32,890 [ LAUGHS ] 209 00:08:32,893 --> 00:08:37,813 [ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING ] 210 00:08:37,808 --> 00:08:40,808 THAT'S IT! THAT'S IT. WHAT? 211 00:08:40,811 --> 00:08:42,691 IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG? 212 00:08:42,693 --> 00:08:44,703 "IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG?" SHE SAYS. 213 00:08:44,695 --> 00:08:46,195 IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG? 214 00:08:46,196 --> 00:08:47,856 YES, THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG. 215 00:08:47,858 --> 00:08:49,528 YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT'S WRONG, JAY? 216 00:08:49,529 --> 00:08:51,319 EVERYTHING'S WRONG! 217 00:08:51,321 --> 00:08:52,821 BUT I THOUGHT WE WERE HAVING FUN! 218 00:08:52,823 --> 00:08:54,533 NO, YOU'RE HAVING FUN. 219 00:08:54,534 --> 00:08:56,504 THIS IS THE WORST ROUND OF GOLF I'VE EVER PLAYED. 220 00:08:56,496 --> 00:08:58,286 MAYBE YOU NEED TO TAKE SOME LESSONS. 221 00:08:58,288 --> 00:09:00,788 JAY, THIS IS NOT HOW THE GAME OF GOLF IS PLAYED. 222 00:09:00,791 --> 00:09:04,801 HIBACHIS AND UMBRELLAS AND HAMBURGERS. 223 00:09:04,795 --> 00:09:07,215 SPECTATORS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE QUIET. 224 00:09:07,217 --> 00:09:09,047 THAT'S NO FUN. 225 00:09:09,049 --> 00:09:12,879 IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE FUN FOR THE PEOPLE WHO ARE WATCHING. 226 00:09:12,883 --> 00:09:15,353 IF YOU WANT TO HAVE FUN, YOU GOT TO PLAY THE GAME. 227 00:09:15,345 --> 00:09:16,555 REALLY? 228 00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:18,056 REALLY! 229 00:09:18,058 --> 00:09:19,728 OKAY, THEN COUNT ME IN! 230 00:09:19,730 --> 00:09:20,730 WHAT? 231 00:09:20,731 --> 00:09:22,351 I WOULD LOVE TO PLAY! 232 00:09:22,352 --> 00:09:24,232 THANKS. I'VE BEEN WANTING TO DO THIS ALL DAY. 233 00:09:24,234 --> 00:09:26,824 NO, NO, YOU DON'T JUST WALK ON A GOLF COURSE 234 00:09:26,817 --> 00:09:29,027 AND START PLAYING THE GAME OF GOLF. 235 00:09:29,029 --> 00:09:32,569 IT TAKES YEARS OF PREPARATION AND HONING YOUR SKILLS. 236 00:09:35,455 --> 00:09:38,075 GO, GO, GO, GO, GO, GO, GO, GO, GO, GO, GO! 237 00:09:38,078 --> 00:09:40,618 [ SHRIEKING ] 238 00:09:40,621 --> 00:09:43,371 I'M A NATURAL! DID YOU SEE THAT?! 239 00:09:43,373 --> 00:09:45,883 TOUCHDOWN! WHOO! YEAH, BOY! 240 00:09:45,876 --> 00:09:47,466 DID YOU SEE THAT?! 241 00:09:47,467 --> 00:09:49,797 AAAAAHH! 242 00:09:49,800 --> 00:09:52,210 AAAAAAHH! 243 00:09:52,212 --> 00:09:54,132 AAAAAAAAHHH! 244 00:10:00,811 --> 00:10:03,981 17 OVER. [ SIGHS ] 245 00:10:03,984 --> 00:10:05,734 SO, WHERE IS SHE NOW? 246 00:10:05,726 --> 00:10:08,396 SHE'S OUT BUYING HERSELF A SET OF GOLF CLUBS. 247 00:10:08,398 --> 00:10:10,898 THIS IS TURNING INTO A NIGHTMARE, MAX. 248 00:10:10,901 --> 00:10:13,821 I MADE THE MISTAKE OF TEACHING MY WIFE HOW TO PLAY GOLF. 249 00:10:13,824 --> 00:10:15,084 AND WHAT HAPPENED? 250 00:10:15,075 --> 00:10:16,535 WHEN WE GOT DIVORCED, 251 00:10:16,536 --> 00:10:19,196 SHE TOOK MY HOUSE, MY CAR, MY CLUBS, AND MY BALLS. 252 00:10:19,199 --> 00:10:21,079 WHAT IS IT WITH WOMEN, MAN? 253 00:10:21,081 --> 00:10:24,751 I LOVE MY WIFE, BUT I DON'T WANT TO BE AROUND HER ALL THE TIME. 254 00:10:24,745 --> 00:10:26,585 WHY CAN'T SHE UNDERSTAND THAT? 255 00:10:26,586 --> 00:10:28,666 THAT'S BECAUSE A WOMAN'S DEFINITION OF TOGETHERNESS 256 00:10:28,669 --> 00:10:29,879 IS DIFFERENT THAN OURS. 257 00:10:29,880 --> 00:10:31,090 TELL ME ABOUT IT. 258 00:10:31,091 --> 00:10:32,961 SO WHAT YOU GONNA DO NOW? 259 00:10:32,963 --> 00:10:35,563 EITHER SHE'S GONNA QUIT GOLF, OR I'M GONNA QUIT GOLF. 260 00:10:35,555 --> 00:10:38,465 WHY DON'T YOU JUST TAKE HER TO A CLIFF AND JUST PUSH HER OFF? 261 00:10:38,468 --> 00:10:41,928 YEAH. I COULD TELL HER, "BABY, I GOT A DIAMOND. 262 00:10:41,932 --> 00:10:43,352 "COME ON. UP HERE. 263 00:10:43,353 --> 00:10:44,823 LOOK AT THE DIAMOND." 264 00:10:44,815 --> 00:10:46,265 WHOOPS. 265 00:10:46,266 --> 00:10:48,526 MIKE, MIKE. I'M KIDDING. OH. 266 00:10:48,528 --> 00:10:51,478 WHY DON'T YOU TELL HER, "I'D RATHER NOT PLAY GOLF WITH YOU"? 267 00:10:51,481 --> 00:10:53,901 OH, YOU MEAN TELL HER THE TRUTH? 268 00:10:53,904 --> 00:10:55,164 YEAH, THE TRUTH. 269 00:10:55,155 --> 00:10:56,445 [ LAUGHTER ] 270 00:10:56,446 --> 00:10:58,116 NO, THAT WON'T WORK. 271 00:10:58,118 --> 00:11:00,618 IT WOULD BREAK HER HEART, MAN. 272 00:11:00,620 --> 00:11:03,450 NAH, MAX, I GOT TO FIND SOMETHING 273 00:11:03,453 --> 00:11:06,093 FAR MORE CLEVER THAN THE TRUTH. 274 00:11:11,842 --> 00:11:14,932 THE KEY TO WRITING A GOOD COLLEGE ESSAY 275 00:11:14,925 --> 00:11:16,425 IS TO JUST BE YOURSELF. 276 00:11:16,426 --> 00:11:19,176 I'VE TRIED 20 DIFFERENT VERSIONS OF BEING MYSELF, 277 00:11:19,179 --> 00:11:20,639 BUT THEY ALL SEEM PHONY. 278 00:11:20,640 --> 00:11:22,720 THAT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE INSINCERE. 279 00:11:22,723 --> 00:11:26,363 THERE'S A VERY SHALLOW QUALITY TO YOU, JUNIOR. 280 00:11:26,356 --> 00:11:27,396 THANK YOU. 281 00:11:27,397 --> 00:11:29,567 HEY, SHOULD I WRITE THAT? 282 00:11:29,569 --> 00:11:31,689 NO. THAT WAS AN INSULT. 283 00:11:31,691 --> 00:11:32,941 OH. 284 00:11:32,943 --> 00:11:35,373 OH. 285 00:11:35,365 --> 00:11:38,195 YOU HAVE TO WRITE ABOUT WHAT YOU REALLY FEEL. 286 00:11:38,198 --> 00:11:41,618 GO ON, TALK TO ME, GURU. COME ON. 287 00:11:41,621 --> 00:11:44,031 YOU'RE BEING INSINCERE AGAIN. 288 00:11:44,034 --> 00:11:45,544 OH. 289 00:11:45,535 --> 00:11:47,745 YOU HAVE TO WRITE WITH PASSION. 290 00:11:47,748 --> 00:11:51,038 YOU HAVE TO TALK ABOUT WHAT YOU REALLY LOVE, 291 00:11:51,041 --> 00:11:52,501 WHAT INSPIRES YOU. 292 00:11:52,502 --> 00:11:54,292 BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS. 293 00:11:54,294 --> 00:11:56,184 THINK ABOUT IT, MY GOOD MAN. 294 00:11:56,176 --> 00:11:58,546 YOU DIDN'T WANT TO GO TO COLLEGE, 295 00:11:58,548 --> 00:12:00,218 BUT NOW SUDDENLY YOU DO. 296 00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:04,050 WHAT MOTIVATED THAT CHANGE OF HEART? 297 00:12:07,647 --> 00:12:09,647 OMM. OMM. OMM. OMM. 298 00:12:09,649 --> 00:12:11,059 Psst! 299 00:12:11,061 --> 00:12:14,151 [ WHISTLES LOUDLY ] 300 00:12:14,154 --> 00:12:15,914 CUCKOO! CUCKOO! 301 00:12:15,906 --> 00:12:18,356 CUCKOO! 302 00:12:18,358 --> 00:12:19,698 HEY! 303 00:12:19,699 --> 00:12:21,159 LOOK, I'M HERE, BABY. 304 00:12:21,161 --> 00:12:23,531 all: SHH! 305 00:12:23,533 --> 00:12:25,373 Y'ALL SOUND LIKE A BAG OF SNAKES. 306 00:12:25,365 --> 00:12:27,205 I BET YOU NEVER HEARD THAT BEFORE. 307 00:12:27,207 --> 00:12:28,867 MICHAEL! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 308 00:12:28,869 --> 00:12:30,749 I CAME TO SPEND SOME TOGETHER TIME WITH YOU. 309 00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:32,040 HERE, LET ME CLOSE THE DOOR. 310 00:12:32,042 --> 00:12:33,922 [ SLAMS ] 311 00:12:33,924 --> 00:12:38,054 SIR, ARE YOU HERE FOR THE KUNDALINI YOGA CLASS? 312 00:12:38,048 --> 00:12:41,008 NO, I CAME HERE TO POP LOCK. [ LAUGHS ] 313 00:12:41,011 --> 00:12:44,811 BUT IF KUNDALINI'S ALL YOU GOT, THEN CALL ME "KUNDA KINTE." 314 00:12:48,728 --> 00:12:51,228 WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF A YOGA MEDITATION. 315 00:12:51,231 --> 00:12:54,231 SO IF YOU COULD JUST PLEASE -- SHH -- BE QUIET. 316 00:12:54,234 --> 00:12:56,114 I'LL JUST BE OVER HERE WITH MY WIFE. 317 00:12:56,106 --> 00:12:58,026 OKAY, THAT'S FINE. HERE, GO TAKE A SEAT. 318 00:12:58,028 --> 00:12:59,778 UH-HUH. 319 00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:01,399 CLOSE YOUR EYES... AND YOUR MOUTH. 320 00:13:01,401 --> 00:13:03,281 ALL RIGHT. 321 00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:06,123 AND TRY TO BECOME ONE WITH THE UNIVERSE. 322 00:13:06,116 --> 00:13:08,286 MY MAN, COULD YOU SCOOT OVER A LITTLE BIT? 323 00:13:08,288 --> 00:13:10,708 I WANT TO BE NEXT TO MY WIFE SO WE CAN MEDITATE. 324 00:13:10,710 --> 00:13:12,710 AHH! OKAY. 325 00:13:12,712 --> 00:13:15,132 MICHAEL, WILL YOU SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP?! 326 00:13:15,125 --> 00:13:18,085 I'M SITTING DOWN. HOLD ON, LET ME KICK MY SHOES OFF. 327 00:13:19,880 --> 00:13:22,420 LET'S ALL CLOSE OUR EYES... 328 00:13:22,422 --> 00:13:23,632 HUH. 329 00:13:23,633 --> 00:13:25,813 AND FOCUS INWARDLY. 330 00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:29,475 CLOSING YOUR EYES -- AND DON'T NOBODY TAKE MY WALLET. 331 00:13:29,479 --> 00:13:31,229 [ LAUGHS ] 332 00:13:31,231 --> 00:13:34,811 ALL RIGHT, CLOSING MY EYES, LOOKING INWARD. 333 00:13:34,814 --> 00:13:38,444 WOW, THIS IS NICE. I NEVER KNEW THAT SIDE OF ME WAS -- 334 00:13:38,438 --> 00:13:41,068 HEY, WHO THIS OVER HERE? 335 00:13:41,071 --> 00:13:42,941 AND THEN THIS OTHER SIDE -- 336 00:13:42,943 --> 00:13:44,613 SHUSH! WILL YOU SHUT UP? 337 00:13:44,614 --> 00:13:47,084 I'M SORRY, BABY. I WAS JUST RELAXING. 338 00:13:47,077 --> 00:13:49,117 I WANTED TO SHARE THAT -- I'M SORRY. OKAY. 339 00:13:49,119 --> 00:13:52,909 WE WILL NOW BEGIN THE "OM" MANTRA. 340 00:13:52,913 --> 00:13:55,553 OMMM. OMMM. OMMM. OMMM. 341 00:13:55,545 --> 00:13:58,335 EEEE-OHHH. OMMM. OMMM. 342 00:13:58,338 --> 00:13:59,958 OH-OMMMM. OMMM. OMMM. 343 00:13:59,960 --> 00:14:02,720 OH-EEE-OMMM. 344 00:14:02,722 --> 00:14:05,022 WHOA-OMM. 345 00:14:05,015 --> 00:14:06,465 MICHAEL! 346 00:14:06,466 --> 00:14:09,096 OH-EEE-OMMM. 347 00:14:09,099 --> 00:14:12,519 WHOA-OMM. 348 00:14:12,522 --> 00:14:16,362 WHOA-OMM. 349 00:14:16,356 --> 00:14:17,736 WHOA-- OKAY! 350 00:14:17,737 --> 00:14:20,937 OKAY. OKAY. 351 00:14:20,941 --> 00:14:23,111 OMMM. OMMM. OMMM. OMMM. 352 00:14:23,113 --> 00:14:28,793 OH, NO, YOU DIDN'T. OH, THAT'S MY SONG. 353 00:14:28,788 --> 00:14:30,828 ANSWER THE PHONE. OH, THAT'S THE PH-- 354 00:14:30,830 --> 00:14:32,660 ANSWER THE PHONE. 355 00:14:32,662 --> 00:14:34,662 I DIDN'T KNOW THAT WAS MY PHONE. 356 00:14:34,664 --> 00:14:35,844 HURRY UP! 357 00:14:35,835 --> 00:14:38,205 YEAH, HELLO? WHAT'S UP MAN? 358 00:14:38,208 --> 00:14:40,878 [ ALL COMPLAINING ] 359 00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:43,300 GET OFF THE PHONE, MICHAEL! RIGHT NOW! 360 00:14:43,303 --> 00:14:46,313 CHUCK SAID SAY "WHAT'S UP?" SHE SAID "HI," CHUCK. 361 00:14:46,306 --> 00:14:47,716 [ ALL COMPLAINING ] 362 00:14:47,717 --> 00:14:50,807 SHH! SHH! HEY! Y'ALL ARE RUDE! 363 00:14:50,810 --> 00:14:54,220 I THOUGHT Y'ALL WAS A PEACEFUL PEOPLE. 364 00:14:54,224 --> 00:14:57,904 YEAH, MAN, LOOK, I'M GONNA HAVE TO GET BACK AT YOU. 365 00:14:57,897 --> 00:15:01,277 ALL RIGHT? YEAH, I'M WITH SOME RUDE-ASS YOGIES. 366 00:15:01,281 --> 00:15:03,571 ALL RIGHT. HOLLA BACK. YUP! 367 00:15:05,445 --> 00:15:08,155 ALL RIGHT. WHERE WERE WE? WHERE WERE WE? 368 00:15:08,158 --> 00:15:10,408 WE WERE RUINING THE YOGA CLASS. 369 00:15:10,410 --> 00:15:12,660 NO, BABY, WE WAS LOOKING INWARD. 370 00:15:12,662 --> 00:15:16,422 NOW LET US ASSUME THE REVERSE-EGG POSITION. 371 00:15:16,416 --> 00:15:17,746 OKAY. 372 00:15:17,747 --> 00:15:20,877 MMM. I'M AN EGG. I'M AN EGG. 373 00:15:20,880 --> 00:15:23,130 I'M AN EGG. 374 00:15:23,133 --> 00:15:26,263 A BROWN EGG I AM. 375 00:15:26,256 --> 00:15:29,096 I'M A DODO EGG. 376 00:15:29,099 --> 00:15:31,639 A NICE LITTLE EGG. 377 00:15:31,641 --> 00:15:35,061 I FEEL RELAXED AND -- UH-OH. 378 00:15:35,055 --> 00:15:36,475 WHAT? 379 00:15:36,476 --> 00:15:39,266 I THINK I'M A ROTTEN EGG. 380 00:15:39,269 --> 00:15:40,479 [ GASPS ] 381 00:15:48,778 --> 00:15:52,198 "THE ILIAD," BY HOMER. 382 00:15:52,202 --> 00:15:56,632 I LOVE HOMER! HE'S MY FAVORITE! 383 00:15:56,626 --> 00:15:58,456 CHAPTER ONE -- 384 00:15:58,458 --> 00:16:02,748 "SING, O GODDESS, THE ANGER OF ACHILLES, SON OF PELEUS." 385 00:16:02,752 --> 00:16:06,592 WAIT A MINUTE. THAT DOES NOT SOUND LIKE HOMER SIMPSON. 386 00:16:06,586 --> 00:16:07,716 D'OH! 387 00:16:07,717 --> 00:16:09,587 [ LAUGHS ] 388 00:16:09,589 --> 00:16:12,849 YOU'RE SO DELIGHTFUL. 389 00:16:12,852 --> 00:16:16,942 OH, THERE HE IS! COME HERE, MY LITTLE GUY! 390 00:16:16,936 --> 00:16:18,686 YOU ARE A GENIUS! 391 00:16:18,688 --> 00:16:21,558 OH, MAN! YOU ARE BRILLIANT! 392 00:16:21,561 --> 00:16:22,651 WHAT DID I DO? 393 00:16:22,652 --> 00:16:24,152 YOU DID THE IMPOSSIBLE. 394 00:16:24,154 --> 00:16:25,994 YOU INSPIRED ME TO COMPLETE MY ESSAY. 395 00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:28,405 OH, MY GOD! THAT'S INCREDIBLE! 396 00:16:28,408 --> 00:16:29,608 YOU FINISHED IT? 397 00:16:29,609 --> 00:16:31,029 YEAH, BUT THE ONLY THING IS 398 00:16:31,031 --> 00:16:32,741 I'M NOT SURE IF IT'S ANY GOOD OR NOT. 399 00:16:32,742 --> 00:16:34,612 WHY DON'T YOU READ IT TO US? 400 00:16:34,614 --> 00:16:38,964 ALL RIGHT, BUT I WANT HONEST REACTIONS. 401 00:16:38,958 --> 00:16:41,118 "DEAR SIRS... 402 00:16:41,121 --> 00:16:44,581 "YOU ASKED ME WHY I FEEL I SHOULD BE ADMITTED TO HAMMERHEAD TECH. 403 00:16:44,584 --> 00:16:46,134 "IF GRADES WERE WHAT MATTERED, 404 00:16:46,126 --> 00:16:48,176 "THEN I DON'T DESERVE TO BE ACCEPTED. 405 00:16:48,178 --> 00:16:50,388 "IF TEST SCORES WERE WHAT MATTERED, 406 00:16:50,390 --> 00:16:52,470 "I DON'T DESERVE TO BE ADMITTED. 407 00:16:52,472 --> 00:16:55,482 "IF BEING ON TIME, OR EVEN BEING PRESENT, MATTERED, 408 00:16:55,475 --> 00:16:58,435 "THEN I CERTAINLY WOULDN'T BE HAMMERHEAD MATERIAL. 409 00:16:58,438 --> 00:17:00,308 "MY GRADES AND SCORES ARE LOW 410 00:17:00,310 --> 00:17:03,980 "BECAUSE I NEVER TOOK EDUCATION OR LIFE SERIOUSLY. 411 00:17:03,983 --> 00:17:06,203 "BUT ALL THAT HAS CHANGED RECENTLY 412 00:17:06,196 --> 00:17:08,066 "BECAUSE I HAVE FALLEN IN LOVE. 413 00:17:08,068 --> 00:17:12,108 "AND LOVE HAS OPENED MY EYES TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES IN LIFE. 414 00:17:12,112 --> 00:17:14,242 "I SEE NOW WHERE I HAVE FAILED, 415 00:17:14,244 --> 00:17:17,794 "AND I ASK YOU TO GIVE ME A CHANCE TO REDEEM MYSELF, 416 00:17:17,787 --> 00:17:20,747 "FOR ME AND FOR MY FUTURE BRIDE, VANESSA. 417 00:17:20,750 --> 00:17:22,250 "IF YOU ACCEPT ME, 418 00:17:22,252 --> 00:17:25,132 "I PROMISE TO BECOME A PROUD ALUMNI 419 00:17:25,125 --> 00:17:28,005 "OF THE GREATEST COLLEGE IN AMERICA, 420 00:17:28,007 --> 00:17:30,167 "HAMMERHEAD TECH UNIVERSITY. 421 00:17:30,170 --> 00:17:33,010 "FROM A MAN DEEPLY CHANGED BY LOVE, 422 00:17:33,012 --> 00:17:36,142 I REMAIN YOURS TRULY, MICHAEL KYLE JR." 423 00:17:37,767 --> 00:17:40,097 IT'S THAT BAD, HUH? 424 00:17:40,100 --> 00:17:44,640 [ Crying ] ASIDE FROM A FEW SYNTAX ERRORS... 425 00:17:44,644 --> 00:17:46,614 IT'S PERFECT. 426 00:17:46,606 --> 00:17:50,026 [ SNIFFLES ] IT'S BEAUTIFUL! 427 00:17:50,029 --> 00:17:51,779 THANK YOU. 428 00:17:53,453 --> 00:17:55,413 HI, MOM. HOW WAS YOGA CLASS? 429 00:17:55,405 --> 00:17:56,655 SHUT UP. 430 00:17:56,656 --> 00:17:58,536 NOT GOOD, HUH? WHAT HAPPENED? 431 00:17:58,538 --> 00:18:02,158 [ Singsong voice ] I'M HOM-M-M-M-E! 432 00:18:02,162 --> 00:18:03,622 THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED. 433 00:18:03,623 --> 00:18:05,423 ARE YOU TWO FIGHTING? 434 00:18:05,415 --> 00:18:07,335 NO, NOT YET, BUT WE'RE ABOUT TO. 435 00:18:07,337 --> 00:18:08,837 GOODBYE. 436 00:18:10,340 --> 00:18:14,130 OKAY, MICHAEL, EXPLAIN YOURSELF. WHY DID YOU DO THAT? 437 00:18:14,134 --> 00:18:16,224 WHY DID YOU RUIN THE ONE THING -- 438 00:18:16,216 --> 00:18:18,476 THE ONE THING THAT BRINGS ME PEACE? 439 00:18:18,478 --> 00:18:20,018 I'M GLAD YOU ASKED, HONEY. 440 00:18:20,019 --> 00:18:23,059 YOU SEE, THE OTHER DAY WHEN WE WENT GOLFING TOGETHER 441 00:18:23,062 --> 00:18:25,732 AND YOU SEEMED TO HAVE SO MUCH FUN OUT THERE, 442 00:18:25,725 --> 00:18:28,815 I DECIDED I WANT TO SPEND SOME QUALITY TIME WITH YOU. 443 00:18:28,818 --> 00:18:32,068 ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME THAT THIS WAS ONE OF YOUR LITTLE STUNTS, 444 00:18:32,071 --> 00:18:34,031 ONE OF THE THINGS YOU PULL ON THE KIDS, 445 00:18:34,033 --> 00:18:36,503 ONE OF YOUR LITTLE MICHAEL KYLE SIGNATURE MOMENTS? 446 00:18:36,496 --> 00:18:38,696 YES. 447 00:18:40,450 --> 00:18:43,240 SEE, I WANTED YOU TO FEEL AS UNCOMFORTABLE AS I FELT 448 00:18:43,243 --> 00:18:45,043 WHEN WE WERE HANGING OUT TOGETHER. 449 00:18:45,044 --> 00:18:47,344 AND INSTEAD OF JUST TELLING ME THAT, 450 00:18:47,337 --> 00:18:49,087 YOU HAD TO RUIN MY ENTIRE YOGA CLASS? 451 00:18:49,088 --> 00:18:51,048 WAS THAT WRONG? 452 00:18:51,050 --> 00:18:54,050 OH, I THINK IT'S WRONG WHEN YOU TREAT YOUR WIFE LIKE A CHILD, 453 00:18:54,053 --> 00:18:56,643 WHEN YOU ASSUME I DON'T HAVE THE INTELLIGENCE 454 00:18:56,636 --> 00:18:58,886 TO UNDERSTAND YOUR DESIRE TO BE ALONE. 455 00:18:58,888 --> 00:19:00,678 SO YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU GOT IT. 456 00:19:00,680 --> 00:19:02,850 YOU WANT TO BE ALONE? YOU'RE ALONE. 457 00:19:02,852 --> 00:19:04,392 CAN I SAY ONE THING? 458 00:19:04,394 --> 00:19:05,574 WHAT?! 459 00:19:05,565 --> 00:19:07,565 YOU'RE LOOKING REALLY THIN. 460 00:19:07,567 --> 00:19:09,187 YOU'RE PATHETIC. 461 00:19:10,480 --> 00:19:15,780 OMMMMMMMMM. 462 00:19:15,775 --> 00:19:18,195 UMMM, ARE YOU BUSYYYY? 463 00:19:18,198 --> 00:19:20,488 UMMMM, GO AWAYYYYYY. 464 00:19:20,490 --> 00:19:24,280 UMMM, I JUST CAME IN TO APOLOGIZE FOR BEING A JERK. 465 00:19:24,284 --> 00:19:26,844 UMMMM, I DON'T GIVE A DAM-M-M-M-N. 466 00:19:26,836 --> 00:19:31,746 UMMM, I JUST MADE RESERVATIONS AT YOUR FAVORITE RESTAURAN-N-T. 467 00:19:31,751 --> 00:19:34,961 DO YOU THINK I'M THAT EASYYYYY? 468 00:19:34,964 --> 00:19:38,684 UMMM, YES, I KNOW FOR A FACT THAT YOU AR-R-E. 469 00:19:38,678 --> 00:19:40,508 MICHAEL, HERE'S THE THING THAT HURT ME. 470 00:19:40,510 --> 00:19:42,220 I WANTED TO BE WITH YOU OUT OF LOVE. 471 00:19:42,222 --> 00:19:44,012 YOU WANTED TO BE WITH ME OUT OF SPITE. 472 00:19:44,013 --> 00:19:45,483 [ SIGHS ] YOU'RE RIGHT. 473 00:19:45,475 --> 00:19:47,105 AND I'M SORRY. I APOLOGIZE. 474 00:19:47,106 --> 00:19:49,516 YOU DIDN'T TREAT ME LIKE I WAS YOUR PARTNER. 475 00:19:49,519 --> 00:19:51,809 YOU TREATED ME LIKE I WAS ONE OF YOUR KIDS. 476 00:19:51,811 --> 00:19:52,901 I WAS WRONG, JAY. 477 00:19:52,902 --> 00:19:54,732 I'M SORRY. 478 00:19:54,734 --> 00:19:58,204 BUT LISTEN, THE GOLF COURSE -- THAT'S MY PLACE TO GET AWAY. 479 00:19:58,197 --> 00:19:59,657 GET AWAY FROM ME? 480 00:19:59,659 --> 00:20:02,409 YES, AMONG OTHER THINGS -- YOU, THE KIDS, WORK, 481 00:20:02,412 --> 00:20:05,542 THE STRESSES AND STRAINS OF LIFE, YOU, THE BILLS. 482 00:20:05,535 --> 00:20:07,285 HEY! YOU SAID "YOU" TWICE. 483 00:20:07,287 --> 00:20:10,247 I WAS ABOUT TO SAY "YOU" AGAIN, BUT YOU INTERRUPTED ME. 484 00:20:10,250 --> 00:20:11,670 SO ARE YOU SAYING 485 00:20:11,671 --> 00:20:13,791 THAT YOU DON'T LIKE SPENDING TIME WITH ME? 486 00:20:13,793 --> 00:20:16,143 NO, BABY, I LOVE SPENDING TIME WITH YOU, 487 00:20:16,135 --> 00:20:17,335 BUT NOT ALL THE TIME. 488 00:20:17,337 --> 00:20:19,177 SEE, WE HAVE A GREAT MARRIAGE 489 00:20:19,178 --> 00:20:21,338 BECAUSE WE GIVE EACH OTHER SPACE. 490 00:20:21,341 --> 00:20:23,011 YEAH, BUT, MICHAEL, 491 00:20:23,012 --> 00:20:24,932 I REALLY DID ENJOY SPENDING TIME WITH YOU ON THE GOLF COURSE. 492 00:20:24,934 --> 00:20:27,854 I KNOW, BABY, AND WE WILL PLAY GOLF TOGETHER AGAIN. 493 00:20:27,847 --> 00:20:30,397 MINIATURE GOLF. 494 00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:32,980 BUT REAL GOLF -- I WANT TO PLAY THAT BY MYSELF. 495 00:20:32,982 --> 00:20:36,202 NOT BECAUSE I DON'T LOVE YOU, BUT BECAUSE I LOVE YOU SO MUCH 496 00:20:36,195 --> 00:20:39,275 THAT SOMETIMES I JUST NEED TO GET THE HELL AWAY FROM YOU. 497 00:20:39,279 --> 00:20:42,619 I UNDERSTAND THAT 'CAUSE SOMETIMES I JUST NEED TO GET THE HELL AWAY FROM YOU, TOO. 498 00:20:42,622 --> 00:20:44,362 BUT I WISH YOU WOULD'VE JUST TOLD ME THAT. 499 00:20:44,364 --> 00:20:47,174 I DIDN'T WANT TO HURT YOUR FEELINGS. 500 00:20:47,166 --> 00:20:49,666 AND I DID, AND I'M REALLY SORRY. 501 00:20:50,670 --> 00:20:52,540 YOU FORGIVE ME? 502 00:20:52,542 --> 00:20:54,082 I GUESS SO. 503 00:20:54,083 --> 00:20:55,383 YOU SURE? 504 00:20:55,375 --> 00:20:56,505 [ SIGHS ] 505 00:20:56,506 --> 00:20:58,426 NO. NOT YET. 506 00:20:58,428 --> 00:21:00,258 ANYTHING I CAN SAY? 507 00:21:00,259 --> 00:21:02,589 YEAH. 508 00:21:02,592 --> 00:21:06,442 DO I REALLY LOOK THIN...NER? 509 00:21:06,436 --> 00:21:09,806 MMMM, IN ALL THE RIGHT PLACES. 510 00:21:09,809 --> 00:21:11,649 [ LAUGHTER ] 511 00:21:11,651 --> 00:21:14,441 MMMM, THANK YOU. 512 00:21:25,204 --> 00:21:27,044 WHAT ARE WE LOOKING FOR, FRANKLIN? 513 00:21:27,036 --> 00:21:29,406 YOUR COMMON SENSE. 514 00:21:37,627 --> 00:21:40,797 IT'S RIGHT THERE.