1 00:00:02,923 --> 00:00:04,843 [ SIGHS ] 2 00:00:06,177 --> 00:00:07,297 IS YOUR NOSE ITCHY? 3 00:00:07,298 --> 00:00:08,588 SHUT UP. 4 00:00:08,589 --> 00:00:09,679 I'M TRYING TO STUDY FOR THE PSATs. 5 00:00:09,680 --> 00:00:10,890 DON'T TALK TO ME. 6 00:00:10,891 --> 00:00:12,051 OKAY. 7 00:00:12,053 --> 00:00:14,813 [ CLICKING TONGUE ] 8 00:00:14,805 --> 00:00:16,805 STOP IT! 9 00:00:16,807 --> 00:00:17,937 STOP WHAT...THIS? 10 00:00:17,938 --> 00:00:19,638 [ CLICKING CONTINUES ] 11 00:00:19,640 --> 00:00:21,020 IF YOU DON'T STOP THAT, I'M GOING TO RIP 12 00:00:21,021 --> 00:00:22,771 YOUR HEAD OFF AND STUFF IT UP YOUR BUTT. 13 00:00:22,773 --> 00:00:23,943 THEN IT WILL SOUND LIKE THIS. 14 00:00:23,944 --> 00:00:25,824 [ MUFFLED CLICKING ] 15 00:00:25,816 --> 00:00:28,106 DON'T YOU REALIZE WHAT'S AT STAKE, YOU LITTLE MORON? 16 00:00:28,109 --> 00:00:29,109 IF I DON'T DO WELL ON THESE TESTS, 17 00:00:29,110 --> 00:00:30,650 I WON'T GET INTO COLLEGE, 18 00:00:30,651 --> 00:00:32,491 AND THEN I'LL BE TRAPPED IN THIS HOUSE FOREVER! 19 00:00:32,493 --> 00:00:34,463 IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT, YOU SAWED-OFF LITTLE RUNT? 20 00:00:34,455 --> 00:00:37,245 I DON'T KNOW. LET ME THINK ABOUT IT. 21 00:00:37,248 --> 00:00:39,328 [ CLICKS TONGUE ] 22 00:00:39,330 --> 00:00:41,710 GRRRRR! AAAH! 23 00:00:41,712 --> 00:00:43,082 HEY, CLAIRE! PUT HER DOWN! 24 00:00:43,084 --> 00:00:44,844 BREAK IT UP! BREAK IT UP! 25 00:00:44,835 --> 00:00:46,545 YOU ALL RIGHT? 26 00:00:46,547 --> 00:00:48,337 I WAS JUST SITTING HERE, MINDING MY OWN BUSINESS, 27 00:00:48,339 --> 00:00:50,719 AND SHE TRIED TO STRANGLE ME! 28 00:00:50,721 --> 00:00:54,351 HEY, YOU GOT CHOKED OUT ALREADY. NOW, SIT DOWN. 29 00:00:54,345 --> 00:00:55,885 I'M TRYING TO STUDY FOR THIS TEST, 30 00:00:55,886 --> 00:00:57,306 AND EVERYBODY IN THIS HOUSE IS ANNOYING ME! 31 00:00:57,308 --> 00:00:58,308 SIT DOWN, CLAIRE. 32 00:00:58,309 --> 00:00:59,439 HEY, YOU ARE STRESSING OUT 33 00:00:59,440 --> 00:01:00,770 WAY TOO MUCH OVER THESE PSATs. 34 00:01:00,771 --> 00:01:02,231 YEAH, IF YOU KEEP WORRYING LIKE THAT, 35 00:01:02,233 --> 00:01:03,643 YOU'RE GOING TO SUFFER FROM PERFORMANCE ANXIETY 36 00:01:03,644 --> 00:01:06,114 LIKE YOUR FATHER. 37 00:01:06,107 --> 00:01:08,027 I'M GONNA GO GET SOME COFFEE. 38 00:01:08,028 --> 00:01:09,608 YEAH. WHY DON'T YOU DO THAT. 39 00:01:09,610 --> 00:01:11,690 YOU WERE ANXIOUS OVER THE PSATs, TOO? 40 00:01:11,692 --> 00:01:14,072 YEAH. PSATs GET ME REAL ANXIOUS. 41 00:01:14,074 --> 00:01:16,004 THAT'S WHY I'M THE PERFECT PERSON TO HELP YOU OUT. 42 00:01:15,996 --> 00:01:18,866 COME ON, GIVE ME SOME QUESTIONS. 43 00:01:18,869 --> 00:01:21,499 OKAY, "SONG IS TO REPERTOIRE, AS CHOOSE ONE OF THE FOLLOWING-- 44 00:01:21,502 --> 00:01:24,082 "SCORE IS TO MELODY, INSTRUMENT IS TO ARTIST, 45 00:01:24,084 --> 00:01:27,014 BENEDICTION IS TO CHURCH, OR SUIT IS TO WARDROBE." 46 00:01:27,007 --> 00:01:28,207 [ CHUCKLES ] 47 00:01:28,209 --> 00:01:30,509 THESE ARE WAY TOO EASY FOR ME. 48 00:01:30,511 --> 00:01:32,051 LET'S SEE IF YOUR MOTHER KNOWS. 49 00:01:32,052 --> 00:01:33,922 SUIT IS TO WARDROBE. 50 00:01:33,924 --> 00:01:36,484 THAT'S RIGHT! YO! I KNEW IT! 51 00:01:36,477 --> 00:01:38,017 I KNEW IT. 52 00:01:38,018 --> 00:01:39,268 SEE, THAT'S WHY I'M GONNA LET YOUR MOTHER 53 00:01:39,270 --> 00:01:40,890 WORK WITH YOU ON THIS. 54 00:01:40,891 --> 00:01:42,721 AND I'M GONNA GO MAKE BREAKFAST. 55 00:01:42,723 --> 00:01:44,283 BECAUSE YOUR DAD IS TO PANCAKES 56 00:01:44,275 --> 00:01:46,145 AS ROBERT HORRY IS TO THREE-POINT SHOT. 57 00:01:46,147 --> 00:01:47,647 THEY'RE NOT ALWAYS GOOD, 58 00:01:47,648 --> 00:01:49,568 BUT I MAKE THEM WHEN I HAVE TO. 59 00:01:49,570 --> 00:01:51,070 HEY, DON'T BRING THAT AROUND ME, WOMAN. 60 00:01:51,071 --> 00:01:52,401 STOP! 61 00:01:52,403 --> 00:01:54,333 WHY YOU SCRATCHING YOUR NOSE, CLAIRE? 62 00:01:54,325 --> 00:01:57,115 ON TOP OF EVERYTHING ELSE, I THINK I'M GETTING A ZIT. 63 00:01:57,117 --> 00:01:59,537 GOOD. ANYTHING TO KEEP THE BOYS AWAY. 64 00:01:59,540 --> 00:02:02,500 I HOPE IT GETS PUSSY AND SPREADS ALL OVER YOUR BODY. 65 00:02:02,503 --> 00:02:05,343 DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING I CAN PUT ON IT? 66 00:02:05,336 --> 00:02:07,126 YEAH, HERE, MY HAT. 67 00:02:07,127 --> 00:02:08,417 [ CHUCKLES ] 68 00:02:08,419 --> 00:02:10,049 IGNORE HIM. 69 00:02:10,050 --> 00:02:11,090 LOOK, THERE'S SOME NEW ASTRINGENT 70 00:02:11,091 --> 00:02:12,171 IN THE MEDICINE CABINET. 71 00:02:12,173 --> 00:02:13,173 YOU CAN GO HELP YOURSELF, OKAY? 72 00:02:13,174 --> 00:02:14,814 THANKS, MOM. YEAH. 73 00:02:14,805 --> 00:02:16,095 [ KNOCK ON DOOR ] 74 00:02:16,096 --> 00:02:17,096 BABE, COULD YOU GET THAT, PLEASE? 75 00:02:17,097 --> 00:02:19,967 SURE. 76 00:02:19,970 --> 00:02:22,560 HEY, IT'S FRANKENSTEIN. 77 00:02:22,563 --> 00:02:24,143 LOOK, BABY, SOMEBODY SHRANK THE BACHELOR. 78 00:02:24,144 --> 00:02:25,734 [ RASPBERRIES ] 79 00:02:25,726 --> 00:02:27,686 I CAN ONLY STAY FOR A SECOND. 80 00:02:27,688 --> 00:02:29,938 I GOTTA GO TO MY PIANO LESSON. 81 00:02:29,940 --> 00:02:30,980 YOU STILL TAKE PIANO LESSONS? 82 00:02:30,981 --> 00:02:32,821 NO. I'M GIVING THEM. 83 00:02:32,823 --> 00:02:34,113 OH. 84 00:02:34,114 --> 00:02:36,084 HEY, KADY. 85 00:02:36,076 --> 00:02:37,776 HI, FRANKLIN. 86 00:02:37,778 --> 00:02:40,328 YOU LOOK LOVELY TODAY, AS ALWAYS. 87 00:02:40,331 --> 00:02:43,281 THANK YOU. THIS IS FOR YOU. 88 00:02:43,284 --> 00:02:45,094 IT'S BEAUTIFUL. 89 00:02:45,085 --> 00:02:46,625 NOT AS BEAUTIFUL AS YOU. 90 00:02:46,627 --> 00:02:48,337 WHY CAN'T YOU BE MORE LIKE FRANKLIN? 91 00:02:48,339 --> 00:02:49,339 OW. 92 00:02:49,340 --> 00:02:50,960 I'VE GOTTA RUN. 93 00:02:50,961 --> 00:02:53,211 MAYBE TOMORROW I CAN CALL YOU AFTER NAP TIME? 94 00:02:53,214 --> 00:02:56,304 THAT WOULD BE TERRIFIC. 95 00:02:56,297 --> 00:02:58,637 ISN'T SHE GREAT? 96 00:03:02,643 --> 00:03:04,653 WHY CAN'T YOU BE MORE LIKE FRANKLIN? 97 00:03:04,645 --> 00:03:06,305 OW! 98 00:03:06,307 --> 00:03:08,307 [ Imitating child ] YOU WANT ME TO BE LIKE FRANKLIN? 99 00:03:08,309 --> 00:03:11,359 OKAY, WOULD YOU TAKE ME UPSTAIRS AND BREAST FEED ME? 100 00:03:11,362 --> 00:03:12,862 GET OUT OF HERE! 101 00:03:12,863 --> 00:03:15,033 IT WOULD BE SO GREAT. 102 00:03:16,617 --> 00:03:17,617 [ KNOCK ON DOOR ] 103 00:03:17,618 --> 00:03:18,698 COME IN. 104 00:03:18,699 --> 00:03:20,779 AH, HEY, MOM. HEY, DAD. 105 00:03:20,781 --> 00:03:22,661 I NEED TO TALK TO YOU. 106 00:03:22,663 --> 00:03:24,593 WHAT'D YOU BREAK, WHAT'D YOU WRECK, 107 00:03:24,585 --> 00:03:26,085 AND HOW MUCH IS IT GONNA COST US? 108 00:03:26,086 --> 00:03:27,586 NOTHING LIKE THAT. 109 00:03:27,588 --> 00:03:29,378 CAN VANESSA COME OVER FOR DINNER SATURDAY NIGHT? 110 00:03:29,380 --> 00:03:31,040 [ Singsong voice ] JUNIOR'S GOT A GIRLFRIEND. 111 00:03:31,041 --> 00:03:32,091 JUNIOR'S GOT A GIRLFRIEND. 112 00:03:32,092 --> 00:03:33,792 DON'T TEASE HIM. 113 00:03:33,794 --> 00:03:36,054 [ Singsong voice ] 'CAUSE JUNIOR GOT A GIRLFRIEND. 114 00:03:36,046 --> 00:03:38,176 [ Normal voice ] THIS IS A VERY SERIOUS STEP, SON. 115 00:03:38,178 --> 00:03:39,758 BRINGING YOUR GIRL TO MEET YOUR PARENTS. 116 00:03:39,760 --> 00:03:40,890 YOU SURE YOU'RE READY FOR THIS? 117 00:03:40,891 --> 00:03:42,471 OH, YES, I AM. 118 00:03:42,473 --> 00:03:43,893 I MEAN, SHE'S THE GREATEST GIRL IN THE WORLD. 119 00:03:43,894 --> 00:03:47,024 I'M SURE SHE IS IF SHE PUTS UP WITH YOU. 120 00:03:47,017 --> 00:03:48,687 WHATEVER. YOU GOTTA MEET HER. 121 00:03:48,689 --> 00:03:50,229 SHE'S THE GREATEST GIRL IN THE WORLD. 122 00:03:50,230 --> 00:03:51,560 YOU SAID THAT ALREADY. 123 00:03:51,562 --> 00:03:52,562 DID I? 124 00:03:52,563 --> 00:03:54,023 MM-HMM. 125 00:03:54,024 --> 00:03:55,204 TELL US ABOUT HER, BABY. WHAT IS SHE LIKE? 126 00:03:55,195 --> 00:03:56,355 WHAT'S SHE LIKE? 127 00:03:56,357 --> 00:03:58,737 HOW CAN I DESCRIBE HER? 128 00:03:58,739 --> 00:04:00,779 All: SHE'S THE GREATEST GIRL IN THE WORLD! 129 00:04:00,781 --> 00:04:02,071 EXACTLY! 130 00:04:02,072 --> 00:04:04,202 PLUS, SHE THINKS I'M SMART. 131 00:04:04,204 --> 00:04:05,674 SHE'S SPECIAL. 132 00:04:05,666 --> 00:04:07,326 YEAH, YOU MEAN SPECIAL LIKE IN OLYMPICS? 133 00:04:07,328 --> 00:04:09,418 STOP, MICHAEL. 134 00:04:09,420 --> 00:04:11,250 LOOK, IT'S FINE. BRING HER OVER. 135 00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:12,331 WE'D LOVE TO MEET HER. 136 00:04:12,333 --> 00:04:14,003 OH, GREAT. I'LL GO CALL HER. 137 00:04:14,004 --> 00:04:16,094 YOU KNOW, THIS GIRL IS SO WONDERFUL, 138 00:04:16,086 --> 00:04:17,876 I'D DO ANYTHING TO MAKE HER HAPPY. 139 00:04:17,878 --> 00:04:20,138 I'M GONNA BUY HER FLOWERS, CHOCOLATES. 140 00:04:20,140 --> 00:04:23,300 I'M GONNA TREAT HER LIKE THE QUEEN THAT SHE IS IN MY EYES. 141 00:04:23,304 --> 00:04:25,944 WHY CAN'T YOU BE MORE LIKE JUNIOR? 142 00:04:25,936 --> 00:04:28,306 YOU WANT ME TO BE LIKE JUNIOR? 143 00:04:28,309 --> 00:04:31,849 OKAY, CAN I BORROW SOME MONEY SO I CAN BUY YOU A NICE GIFT? 144 00:04:34,695 --> 00:04:35,895 HERE'S ANOTHER ONE. 145 00:04:35,896 --> 00:04:38,396 CALVIN KLEIN IS TO FASHION 146 00:04:38,399 --> 00:04:42,239 AS MARIO ANDRETTI IS TO... 147 00:04:42,242 --> 00:04:43,242 TO... 148 00:04:43,243 --> 00:04:44,713 I DON'T KNOW! 149 00:04:44,705 --> 00:04:46,285 DAD, I'M GONNA FAIL THIS TEST. 150 00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:48,246 NOT BECAUSE I'M STUPID, 151 00:04:48,248 --> 00:04:50,748 BUT BECAUSE I DON'T CARE ABOUT ANY OF THIS STUFF. 152 00:04:50,751 --> 00:04:52,371 BABY, YOU DO CARE. 153 00:04:52,373 --> 00:04:54,173 THAT'S WHY YOU'RE BREAKING OUT IN THOSE HIVES. 154 00:04:54,174 --> 00:04:55,884 OH, MY GOD, IS THAT WHAT THIS IS? 155 00:04:55,876 --> 00:04:57,966 I USED TO GET THEM ALL THE TIME WHEN I WAS UNDER STRESS. 156 00:04:57,968 --> 00:04:59,798 SO I HAVE YOU TO THANK FOR THIS. 157 00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:02,130 WHAT OTHER HORRIBLE THINGS WILL I INHERIT FROM YOU? 158 00:05:02,132 --> 00:05:04,892 WELL, WHEN YOU TURN 35, YOU'LL LOSE ALL YOUR HAIR. 159 00:05:04,885 --> 00:05:07,095 THAT'LL MAKE YOUR EARS LOOK REALLY POINTY, 160 00:05:07,097 --> 00:05:08,687 AND THEN YOUR TESTICLES WILL DROP. 161 00:05:08,689 --> 00:05:09,809 DAD! 162 00:05:09,810 --> 00:05:10,810 JUST THE LEFT ONE. 163 00:05:10,811 --> 00:05:12,691 KINDA LIKE THIS. 164 00:05:12,693 --> 00:05:14,993 EW! DAD! 165 00:05:14,985 --> 00:05:17,435 BABY, YOU ARE STRESSING OUT WAY TOO MUCH 166 00:05:17,438 --> 00:05:19,438 OVER THESE PRELIMINARY SATs. 167 00:05:19,440 --> 00:05:21,240 YOU CAN ALWAYS TAKE THEM AGAIN. 168 00:05:21,241 --> 00:05:23,151 WAIT TILL YOU GUYS SEE THIS. 169 00:05:23,153 --> 00:05:25,333 WHAT? WAIT. 170 00:05:25,325 --> 00:05:27,445 WHOO! 171 00:05:27,448 --> 00:05:29,408 HEY. WOW. 172 00:05:29,410 --> 00:05:30,950 THIS MUST BE A SPECIAL GIRL 173 00:05:30,951 --> 00:05:35,011 TO MAKE YOU PUT ON THE JEHOVAH'S WITNESS SUIT. 174 00:05:35,005 --> 00:05:36,125 YOU LOOK GREAT! 175 00:05:36,126 --> 00:05:37,416 THANKS, DAD. LOOK, GUYS, 176 00:05:37,418 --> 00:05:38,958 VANESSA WILL BE HERE ANY MINUTE. 177 00:05:38,959 --> 00:05:40,549 OH! CLAIRE! 178 00:05:40,551 --> 00:05:42,761 WHAT'S THAT THING ON THE END OF YOUR NOSE?! 179 00:05:42,763 --> 00:05:44,813 LOOKS LIKE SOMEBODY SHOT A GOLF BALL 180 00:05:44,805 --> 00:05:46,465 THROUGH THE BACK OF YOUR HEAD 181 00:05:46,467 --> 00:05:48,227 AND IT DIDN'T QUITE MAKE IT OUT THE OTHER SIDE. 182 00:05:48,228 --> 00:05:50,598 SHUT UP, JUNIOR, 183 00:05:50,601 --> 00:05:52,431 OR ELSE I'M GONNA TELL YOUR GIRLFRIEND THAT YOU WET THE BED. 184 00:05:52,433 --> 00:05:53,853 ONCE, CLAIRE. 185 00:05:53,854 --> 00:05:56,324 YEAH, ONCE A WEEK TILL YOU WERE 14. 186 00:05:56,316 --> 00:05:57,606 [ DOORBELL RINGS ] 187 00:05:57,608 --> 00:05:58,608 OKAY, THAT'S VANESSA. 188 00:05:58,609 --> 00:06:01,439 PLEASE DO NOT EMBARRASS ME. 189 00:06:01,442 --> 00:06:02,692 "HEY, VANESSA!" [ IMITATING FARTS ] 190 00:06:02,693 --> 00:06:05,333 [ LAUGHS ] 191 00:06:05,325 --> 00:06:09,075 STOP IT! SHH! 192 00:06:09,079 --> 00:06:11,579 HI, VANESSA. YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL. 193 00:06:11,582 --> 00:06:13,662 OH, THANK YOU. YOU LOOK SHARP. 194 00:06:13,664 --> 00:06:14,804 VERY HANDSOME. 195 00:06:14,795 --> 00:06:16,255 THANK YOU. COME IN. 196 00:06:16,256 --> 00:06:18,256 EVERYBODY, THIS IS VANESSA SCOTT. 197 00:06:18,258 --> 00:06:19,838 VANESSA, THAT'S MY MOM AND DAD, 198 00:06:19,840 --> 00:06:21,550 AND THAT'S MY SISTER CLAIRE. 199 00:06:21,552 --> 00:06:22,672 HI, IT'S A PLEASURE TO MEET YOU. 200 00:06:22,673 --> 00:06:24,003 PLEASED TO MEET YOU. 201 00:06:24,004 --> 00:06:25,814 WE HEARD A LOT ABOUT YOU, VANESSA. 202 00:06:25,806 --> 00:06:28,766 YOU'RE JUST AS BEAUTIFUL AS JUNIOR SAID YOU WERE, MRS. KYLE. 203 00:06:28,769 --> 00:06:30,639 THAT IS SO SWEET, BUT DON'T CALL ME MRS. KYLE. 204 00:06:30,641 --> 00:06:31,681 CALL ME JAY. 205 00:06:31,682 --> 00:06:33,812 OKAY, JAY. GOOD. 206 00:06:33,814 --> 00:06:35,654 MMM. WHAT'S THAT SMELL? 207 00:06:35,646 --> 00:06:37,396 THAT WOULD BE MY POT ROAST, I HOPE. 208 00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:38,517 DINNER WILL BE READY IN A MINUTE. 209 00:06:38,519 --> 00:06:39,519 I JUST GOTTA GO CHECK ON IT. 210 00:06:39,520 --> 00:06:40,520 LET ME HELP YOU. 211 00:06:40,521 --> 00:06:42,361 WOW, SHE'S HELPFUL, TOO. 212 00:06:42,362 --> 00:06:44,582 JUNIOR, THIS JUST MIGHT BE THE GREATEST GIRL IN THE WORLD. 213 00:06:44,575 --> 00:06:45,655 I TOLD YOU. 214 00:06:45,656 --> 00:06:46,826 LET ME TAKE THAT JACKET. 215 00:06:46,827 --> 00:06:48,737 THANK YOU. 216 00:06:48,739 --> 00:06:49,789 HEY, CLAIRE. YOU CAN HELP, TOO. 217 00:06:49,790 --> 00:06:51,660 COME ON. 218 00:06:53,664 --> 00:06:55,094 HOW THE HELL DID YOU PULL THAT ONE OFF? 219 00:06:55,085 --> 00:06:56,705 I DON'T HAVE A CLUE. 220 00:06:56,707 --> 00:06:58,377 I MEAN, SHE'S BEAUTIFUL. SHE'S SMART. 221 00:06:58,378 --> 00:07:00,838 SHE'S PERSONABLE, POLITE. 222 00:07:00,841 --> 00:07:03,921 WHAT IN THE WORLD IS SHE DOING WITH ME? 223 00:07:12,763 --> 00:07:13,553 YOU OKAY? 224 00:07:13,554 --> 00:07:14,944 YEAH. 225 00:07:14,935 --> 00:07:16,105 YOU SURE? 226 00:07:16,106 --> 00:07:18,896 UH-HUH. 227 00:07:18,899 --> 00:07:20,359 AND THERE'S NOTHING BOTHERING YOU, HUH? 228 00:07:20,360 --> 00:07:22,020 NOTHING. OKAY. 229 00:07:24,404 --> 00:07:26,454 [ SIGHS LOUDLY ] 230 00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:29,116 I DO NOT LIKE THAT GIRL. 231 00:07:29,119 --> 00:07:30,699 ARE YOU KIDDING? UNH-UNH. 232 00:07:30,701 --> 00:07:32,331 JUNIOR HIT THE LOTTO WITH HER. 233 00:07:32,332 --> 00:07:33,952 SHE'S PERFECT. SHE REMINDS ME OF A YOUNG YOU. 234 00:07:33,954 --> 00:07:34,924 SHE'S HELPFUL AND POLITE. WHAT? 235 00:07:34,915 --> 00:07:36,415 YOU FELL FOR THAT, MICHAEL? 236 00:07:36,416 --> 00:07:37,956 THAT WAS AN ACT, BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? 237 00:07:37,958 --> 00:07:40,628 I SEE ALL THROUGH THAT GIRL, UH-UH. 238 00:07:40,631 --> 00:07:42,671 AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE? 239 00:07:42,673 --> 00:07:44,253 DID YOU HEAR HOW THE LITTLE HEIFER CALLED ME JAY? 240 00:07:44,254 --> 00:07:45,554 DID YOU HEAR THAT? 241 00:07:45,546 --> 00:07:48,586 YOU TOLD HER, "CALL ME JAY." REMEMBER? 242 00:07:48,589 --> 00:07:51,219 YES, I DID, BUT THAT WAS MY TEST, 243 00:07:51,221 --> 00:07:53,351 AND SHE FAILED IT. 244 00:07:53,353 --> 00:07:55,023 I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS, MICHAEL, 245 00:07:55,015 --> 00:07:57,145 BUT I'M TELLING YOU, MM-MMM. 246 00:07:57,147 --> 00:07:58,437 MM-MMM. 247 00:07:58,438 --> 00:08:01,058 THAT ONE GOT AN AGENDA RIGHT THERE, UH-UH. 248 00:08:01,061 --> 00:08:02,731 AN AGENDA? WHAT DO YOU THINK, 249 00:08:02,733 --> 00:08:04,993 SHE'S TRYING TO STEAL THE PRIZE OF THE CENTURY? 250 00:08:04,985 --> 00:08:07,485 JUNIOR? 251 00:08:07,487 --> 00:08:09,447 I DON'T KNOW, MICHAEL, BUT I'M TELLING YOU 252 00:08:09,449 --> 00:08:10,659 I DON'T TRUST HER. 253 00:08:10,661 --> 00:08:12,201 YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS? 254 00:08:12,202 --> 00:08:13,992 YOU'RE JUST AFRAID THAT SHE'S THE ONE 255 00:08:13,994 --> 00:08:16,794 THAT'S GONNA COME IN AND STEAL YOUR BABY BOY'S HEART. 256 00:08:16,787 --> 00:08:18,577 OH, PLEASE. THAT IS RIDICULOUS. 257 00:08:18,579 --> 00:08:21,079 YES, AND YOU NEED TO STOP BEING SUCH A MOM. 258 00:08:21,081 --> 00:08:22,291 LET THAT BOY GROW UP. 259 00:08:22,292 --> 00:08:23,962 HE'S ALMOST 18 YEARS OLD. 260 00:08:23,964 --> 00:08:26,554 HE'S NOT GOING TO BE MANIPULATED BY SOME PRETTY GIRL. 261 00:08:26,547 --> 00:08:28,717 DON'T YOU REALIZE BY NOW 262 00:08:28,719 --> 00:08:31,429 THAT A CLEVER WOMAN CAN GET A MAN TO DO ANYTHING SHE WANTS? 263 00:08:31,431 --> 00:08:32,591 THAT IS NOT TRUE. 264 00:08:32,593 --> 00:08:34,053 OH, IT'S NOT, HUH? 265 00:08:34,054 --> 00:08:35,814 NOT NO REAL MAN. WHAT? 266 00:08:35,806 --> 00:08:37,896 YEAH. 267 00:08:37,898 --> 00:08:39,478 OKAY, I'M GONNA PROVE IT TO YOU. 268 00:08:39,479 --> 00:08:42,939 I WANT YOU TO TAKE ME TO THE OPERA ON SATURDAY NIGHT. 269 00:08:42,943 --> 00:08:46,283 UH... 270 00:08:46,276 --> 00:08:49,566 NO. I'D RATHER EAT GLASS. 271 00:08:49,570 --> 00:08:50,990 I'M NOT GOING TO NO STUPID OPERA. 272 00:08:50,991 --> 00:08:53,241 OH, REALLY? FRANKLIN WOULD DO IT. 273 00:08:53,243 --> 00:08:56,253 FRANKLIN, FRANK, FRANK, FRANK, FRANK, FRANK, FRANK, FRANK! 274 00:08:56,246 --> 00:08:58,746 I'M TIRED OF HEARING ABOUT THE PERFECT LITTLE PIANIST. 275 00:08:58,749 --> 00:09:00,579 I'M NOT GOING TO THE OPERA, HONEY. 276 00:09:00,581 --> 00:09:02,001 YOU SURE? I'M POSITIVE. 277 00:09:02,002 --> 00:09:03,712 THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN SAY OR DO 278 00:09:03,714 --> 00:09:05,134 THAT'S GONNA CHANGE MY MIND. 279 00:09:05,125 --> 00:09:06,335 NOTHING? I'M A REAL MAN. 280 00:09:06,336 --> 00:09:07,336 OH, REALLY? YEAH. 281 00:09:07,337 --> 00:09:10,217 MM-HMM. OKAY. 282 00:09:10,220 --> 00:09:12,720 ♪ FIGARO ♪ 283 00:09:12,723 --> 00:09:14,383 ♪ FIGARO, FIGARO ♪ 284 00:09:14,384 --> 00:09:16,234 ♪ FIGARO ♪ 285 00:09:16,226 --> 00:09:19,936 [ SLOW PIANO MUSIC PLAYS ] 286 00:09:19,940 --> 00:09:21,560 HEY, MR. KYLE! 287 00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:24,141 HEY, FRANKENBERRY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 288 00:09:24,144 --> 00:09:26,324 COMPOSING A SONG FOR KADY. 289 00:09:26,316 --> 00:09:28,816 AND IT'S FRANKLIN. 290 00:09:28,819 --> 00:09:31,359 HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU? 291 00:09:31,361 --> 00:09:34,621 OH, IT'S FRANKLIN BERRY. 292 00:09:34,615 --> 00:09:36,245 MM, I GOT IT. 293 00:09:36,246 --> 00:09:38,656 YOU KNOW, I HAVE A BONE TO PICK WITH YOU, SIR. 294 00:09:38,659 --> 00:09:40,459 IF IT WASN'T FOR YOU, 295 00:09:40,460 --> 00:09:41,790 I WOULDN'T BE GOING TO THE STUPID OPERA 296 00:09:41,792 --> 00:09:43,372 WITH MY WIFE ON SATURDAY. 297 00:09:43,373 --> 00:09:47,343 OH, I THINK YOU AND MRS. KYLE ARE GOING TO ENJOY IT. 298 00:09:47,337 --> 00:09:49,377 ARE YOU SEEING "CARMEN"? 299 00:09:49,379 --> 00:09:53,259 [ Imitating Franklin ] OH, I DON'T KNOW WHO'S IN IT. 300 00:09:53,263 --> 00:09:57,393 I JUST DON'T WANNA GO. 301 00:09:57,387 --> 00:10:00,557 WELL, MRS. KYLE MUST BE PRETTY HAPPY ABOUT IT. 302 00:10:00,560 --> 00:10:02,020 WHAT ARE YOU GONNA WEAR? 303 00:10:02,022 --> 00:10:03,562 [ Normal voice ] I DON'T KNOW. 304 00:10:03,563 --> 00:10:05,193 THINKING ABOUT PUTTING ON SOME JEANS 305 00:10:05,185 --> 00:10:06,395 AND A NICE SHIRT. 306 00:10:06,396 --> 00:10:07,776 [ PLAYS OFF-KEY ] 307 00:10:07,778 --> 00:10:09,778 WITH A TIE? 308 00:10:09,780 --> 00:10:10,900 [ PLAYS OFF-KEY ] 309 00:10:10,901 --> 00:10:12,151 MAYBE A SUIT? 310 00:10:12,152 --> 00:10:13,862 [ PLAYS OFF-KEY ] 311 00:10:13,864 --> 00:10:15,834 UH, TUXEDO? 312 00:10:15,826 --> 00:10:20,156 [ PLAYS UPBEAT TUNE ] 313 00:10:20,160 --> 00:10:22,200 WELL, IF I'M GONNA WEAR A TUXEDO, 314 00:10:22,202 --> 00:10:24,042 THEN I PROBABLY HAVE TO GET THE CAR WASHED. 315 00:10:24,044 --> 00:10:26,464 [ PLAYS OFF-KEY ] 316 00:10:26,456 --> 00:10:28,706 COME ON, YOU WANT ME TO SPRING FOR A TAXI? 317 00:10:28,709 --> 00:10:30,169 [ PLAYS OFF-KEY ] 318 00:10:30,170 --> 00:10:31,590 YOU'RE TALKING LIMO. 319 00:10:31,591 --> 00:10:36,221 [ PLAYS UPBEAT TUNE ] 320 00:10:36,216 --> 00:10:38,256 OKAY, IF I'M GONNA GET A LIMO, 321 00:10:38,258 --> 00:10:40,518 THEN I PROBABLY HAVE TO STOCK IT UP WITH...BEER? 322 00:10:40,520 --> 00:10:43,180 NO, DON'T YOU THREATEN ME WITH THAT FINGER. 323 00:10:43,183 --> 00:10:44,353 SOME LIQUOR. 324 00:10:44,354 --> 00:10:45,364 GOOD LIQUOR? 325 00:10:45,355 --> 00:10:48,265 UH...CHAMPAGNE? 326 00:10:48,268 --> 00:10:51,768 [ PLAYS UPBEAT TUNE ] 327 00:10:51,772 --> 00:10:53,402 HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT, FRANKLIN? 328 00:10:53,403 --> 00:10:55,373 IT'S A GOOD THING YOU'RE A GREAT PIANO PLAYER 329 00:10:55,365 --> 00:10:57,445 'CAUSE WITH YOUR TASTES, YOU'RE GONNA NEED A LOT OF MONEY. 330 00:10:57,447 --> 00:11:00,577 [ PLAYS "WE'RE IN THE MONEY" ] 331 00:11:09,089 --> 00:11:10,709 ALL RIGHT, KADY. 332 00:11:10,711 --> 00:11:12,171 WHEN RACHEL'S MOTHER SAYS IT'S BEDTIME, 333 00:11:12,172 --> 00:11:14,552 IT'S BEDTIME, OKAY? NO LIP. ALL RIGHT. 334 00:11:14,554 --> 00:11:16,434 I'LL TALK TO YOU IN THE MORNING, OKAY? 335 00:11:16,426 --> 00:11:18,296 BYE. 336 00:11:18,298 --> 00:11:20,798 YOU DIDN'T HEAR A PIANO PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND, DID YOU? 337 00:11:20,801 --> 00:11:23,141 WILL YOU STOP WORRYING ABOUT FRANKLIN? 338 00:11:23,143 --> 00:11:25,653 I DON'T LIKE THAT BOY, JAY. 339 00:11:25,645 --> 00:11:27,355 SOMETHING ABOUT HIM JUST RUBS ME THE WRONG WAY. 340 00:11:27,357 --> 00:11:28,517 WHATEVER, MICHAEL. WHATEVER. 341 00:11:28,518 --> 00:11:30,068 I THINK HE'S GOT AN AGENDA. 342 00:11:30,070 --> 00:11:31,610 MM-MMM. I KNOW SOMETHING. I KNOW SOMETHING. 343 00:11:31,611 --> 00:11:33,651 YOU FALL FOR THAT. 344 00:11:33,653 --> 00:11:35,163 IF YOU NEED ME, I'LL BE AT ERICA'S HOUSE STUDYING 345 00:11:35,155 --> 00:11:36,575 FOR THE STUPID TEST. 346 00:11:36,576 --> 00:11:38,366 WELL, IF IT ISN'T CLAIRE BIN LADEN. 347 00:11:38,368 --> 00:11:39,948 [ Arabic accent ] WHERE YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING LIKE THAT? 348 00:11:39,950 --> 00:11:42,080 [ Normal voice ] WAIT A SECOND. 349 00:11:42,082 --> 00:11:44,622 HOW DO WE KNOW THAT THIS IS NOT ANOTHER ONE 350 00:11:44,624 --> 00:11:49,594 OF YOUR LITTLE TRICKS TO SNEAK OUT TO SOME PARTY? 351 00:11:49,589 --> 00:11:51,379 MAYBE I WAS BEING A LITTLE RASH. 352 00:11:51,381 --> 00:11:52,751 GET IT? 353 00:11:52,753 --> 00:11:55,603 [ LAUGHS ] 354 00:11:55,595 --> 00:11:57,505 DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. IT'S GONNA BE OVER SOON. 355 00:11:57,507 --> 00:11:59,097 YEAH, AND, YOU KNOW WHAT. IF YOU DON'T GET INTO COLLEGE, 356 00:11:59,099 --> 00:12:00,889 YOU CAN ALWAYS GET A JOB PULLING A SLEIGH. 357 00:12:00,891 --> 00:12:03,221 [ LAUGHS ] 358 00:12:03,223 --> 00:12:04,643 HEY, WHY ARE YOU MESSING WITH HER? 359 00:12:04,644 --> 00:12:06,654 YOU SEE SHE'S FEELING BAD RIGHT NOW. 360 00:12:06,646 --> 00:12:08,896 YEAH, WELL, SHE DON'T HAVE TO GO TO THE OPERA. 361 00:12:08,899 --> 00:12:10,809 IF I'M NOT MISTAKEN, YOU AGREED WHOLEHEARTEDLY 362 00:12:10,811 --> 00:12:12,271 TO GO TO THIS OPERA. 363 00:12:12,272 --> 00:12:14,612 IN FACT, YOU SAID, "YES," OVER AND OVER AGAIN. 364 00:12:14,614 --> 00:12:18,704 YES! YES! YES! 365 00:12:18,698 --> 00:12:20,238 [ High pitched ] YES! 366 00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:22,030 [ Normal voice ] WE'RE GOING TO THE OPERA, 367 00:12:22,032 --> 00:12:23,952 SO LET'S JUST ENJOY OURSELVES, OKAY? 368 00:12:23,954 --> 00:12:25,874 OKAY, FINE, YOU KNOW WHAT, IF IT'S GONNA MAKE YOU HAPPY, 369 00:12:25,866 --> 00:12:27,706 THAT'S GONNA MAKE ME HAPPY. 370 00:12:27,707 --> 00:12:28,707 I LIVE TO MAKE MY BABY HAPPY. 371 00:12:28,708 --> 00:12:30,078 OH, BABY! 372 00:12:30,080 --> 00:12:32,750 SEE? FRANKLIN IS RUBBING OFF ON YOU. 373 00:12:32,752 --> 00:12:34,252 YOU KNOW WHAT I'M GONNA DO FOR YOU? 374 00:12:34,254 --> 00:12:36,684 I'M GONNA GIVE YOU A NICE, LONG BACK RUB 375 00:12:36,676 --> 00:12:37,676 WHEN WE GET HOME. 376 00:12:37,677 --> 00:12:39,137 [ PLAYS OFF-KEY ] 377 00:12:39,139 --> 00:12:40,179 A NICE LONG KISS? 378 00:12:40,180 --> 00:12:41,970 [ PLAYS OFF-KEY ] 379 00:12:41,972 --> 00:12:43,642 HOW ABOUT THIS? 380 00:12:43,643 --> 00:12:45,813 A NICE... 381 00:12:45,806 --> 00:12:50,186 [ PLAYS UPBEAT MUSIC ] 382 00:12:50,190 --> 00:12:52,270 [ Imitating Franklin ] THAT'D BE GREAT. 383 00:12:52,272 --> 00:12:54,602 [ LAUGHS ] 384 00:12:54,604 --> 00:12:56,364 HEY, YOU GUYS ARE STILL HERE? 385 00:12:56,356 --> 00:12:57,896 WE'RE LEAVING RIGHT NOW. 386 00:12:57,898 --> 00:12:59,988 ALL RIGHT. GOOD NIGHT. GOOD NIGHT. 387 00:12:59,990 --> 00:13:01,740 DON'T WAIT UP 'CAUSE WE'RE GONNA BE LATE. 388 00:13:01,741 --> 00:13:03,071 ALL RIGHT. YOU GUYS ENJOY YOURSELVES. 389 00:13:03,073 --> 00:13:04,493 DON'T DO ANYTHING I WOULDN'T DO. 390 00:13:04,494 --> 00:13:05,544 YOU BEHAVE YOURSELF. GOOD NIGHT, DAD. 391 00:13:05,535 --> 00:13:06,865 GOOD NIGHT, SON. 392 00:13:14,004 --> 00:13:15,184 HEY, VANESSA? 393 00:13:15,175 --> 00:13:16,915 YEAH, WHAT ARE YOU DOING TONIGHT? 394 00:13:16,917 --> 00:13:19,837 WELL, YOU WANNA COME OVER? 395 00:13:19,840 --> 00:13:21,470 YOU DO? 396 00:13:21,471 --> 00:13:23,471 [ CHUCKLES ] OKAY. 397 00:13:36,526 --> 00:13:39,316 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 398 00:13:39,319 --> 00:13:41,149 PARANOID. 399 00:13:41,151 --> 00:13:43,571 YOU KNOW, LINCOLN GOT SHOT IN A BOOTH JUST LIKE THIS. 400 00:13:43,573 --> 00:13:45,503 WILL YOU STOP FOOLING AROUND, MICHAEL? 401 00:13:45,495 --> 00:13:48,205 I'M VERY HAPPY WE'RE DOING THIS TOGETHER, BABY. 402 00:13:48,208 --> 00:13:50,828 THE CHAMPAGNE, THE LIMO-- IT WAS PERFECT. 403 00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:52,080 WELL, YOU'RE PERFECT, 404 00:13:52,082 --> 00:13:53,872 AND I WANTED THIS NIGHT TO BE SPECIAL. 405 00:13:53,874 --> 00:13:55,384 I MEAN, A LOT OF GUYS, 406 00:13:55,375 --> 00:13:57,795 THEY WOULD JUST THROW ON A NICE SHIRT AND TIE 407 00:13:57,797 --> 00:13:59,507 AND HAVE SOME BEER IN A CAB. RIGHT? 408 00:13:59,509 --> 00:14:01,379 NOT ME. NOT THIS FELLA. 409 00:14:01,381 --> 00:14:02,801 THAT'S RIGHT. NOT MY BABY. 410 00:14:02,802 --> 00:14:05,432 I WANNA GO OUT OF MY WAY FOR MY JAY. 411 00:14:05,425 --> 00:14:07,765 THANK YOU. 412 00:14:07,767 --> 00:14:09,017 HELLO. 413 00:14:09,019 --> 00:14:12,889 HI, Y'ALL. 414 00:14:12,893 --> 00:14:14,603 PUT YOUR EYES BACK IN YOUR HEAD. 415 00:14:14,604 --> 00:14:16,484 [ SIGHS ] 416 00:14:16,476 --> 00:14:18,526 ISN'T THIS FANTASTIC? SUCH A GREAT VIEW FROM HERE. 417 00:14:18,528 --> 00:14:20,648 OH, YEAH, YOU CAN SEE EVERYTHING-- 418 00:14:20,650 --> 00:14:22,690 ALL THE MOUNTAINS AND THE HILLS. 419 00:14:22,692 --> 00:14:23,742 OW! 420 00:14:23,743 --> 00:14:25,413 MICHAEL! 421 00:14:25,405 --> 00:14:26,945 IT'S VERY NICE TO SEE 422 00:14:26,947 --> 00:14:28,407 A YOUNG LADY ESCORTING HER FATHER TO THE OPERA. 423 00:14:28,408 --> 00:14:29,748 THAT'S VERY SWEET. VERY NICE. 424 00:14:29,749 --> 00:14:31,289 OH, HE'S NOT MY FATHER. 425 00:14:31,291 --> 00:14:34,661 HE IS MY DADDY, THOUGH. 426 00:14:39,169 --> 00:14:41,669 OKAY, FIRST YOU PUT THE HOT BEANS IN YOUR MOUTH, 427 00:14:41,671 --> 00:14:44,261 AND THEN YOU CHASE IT DOWN WITH A BITE OF ORANGE POP. 428 00:14:44,264 --> 00:14:47,434 WATCH THIS. 429 00:14:47,427 --> 00:14:49,427 [ MOANING ] 430 00:14:49,429 --> 00:14:51,469 ARE YOU OKAY? 431 00:14:51,471 --> 00:14:54,721 HERE, EAT THIS, EAT THIS, EAT THIS! 432 00:14:54,724 --> 00:14:58,114 MMM. MMM. MMM. 433 00:14:58,108 --> 00:15:00,018 ARE YOU OKAY? MMM. 434 00:15:00,020 --> 00:15:01,110 AH. 435 00:15:01,111 --> 00:15:02,481 VOILA! 436 00:15:02,482 --> 00:15:04,522 THE ICY-HOT SPLENDOR OF THE BEANSICLE. 437 00:15:04,524 --> 00:15:05,794 NOW YOU TRY. 438 00:15:05,785 --> 00:15:07,655 OH, I DON'T KNOW, JUNIOR. 439 00:15:07,657 --> 00:15:08,787 JUST TRUST ME. 440 00:15:08,788 --> 00:15:10,288 I WOULD NEVER STEER YOU WRONG. 441 00:15:10,290 --> 00:15:12,450 [ SIGHS ] OKAY. 442 00:15:17,127 --> 00:15:20,797 AH! NO BLOWING. THAT'S CHEATING. 443 00:15:20,800 --> 00:15:23,380 [ SIGHS ] OKAY. 444 00:15:23,383 --> 00:15:25,513 [ MOANING ] 445 00:15:25,505 --> 00:15:27,845 POPSICLE, POPSICLE, POPSICLE! 446 00:15:27,847 --> 00:15:29,597 AAAH! 447 00:15:36,476 --> 00:15:37,766 THAT'S REALLY GOOD. 448 00:15:37,767 --> 00:15:38,767 I TOLD YOU. 449 00:15:38,768 --> 00:15:39,938 MMM. 450 00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:41,439 HOW'D YOU COME UP WITH THAT? 451 00:15:41,441 --> 00:15:44,191 LIKE ALL GREAT INVENTIONS, IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. 452 00:15:44,194 --> 00:15:45,874 WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 453 00:15:45,865 --> 00:15:47,945 WELL, I WAS ENJOYING A NICE BOWL OF HOT BEANS 454 00:15:47,947 --> 00:15:49,737 WHILE KADY WAS RUNNING THROUGH THE HOUSE 455 00:15:49,739 --> 00:15:51,449 EATING AN ORANGE POP. 456 00:15:51,451 --> 00:15:53,701 IT DOESN'T TAKE A GENIUS TO FIGURE OUT WHAT HAPPENED NEXT. 457 00:15:53,703 --> 00:15:55,293 YOU GUYS CRASHED INTO EACH OTHER, 458 00:15:55,285 --> 00:15:56,915 AND HER ORANGE POP FELL IN YOUR BEANS. 459 00:15:56,916 --> 00:16:00,376 AHHHHHH, NO. 460 00:16:00,380 --> 00:16:03,840 I SAID, "HEY, I WONDER HOW THAT ORANGE POP 461 00:16:03,843 --> 00:16:05,353 WOULD TASTE IN THOSE BEANS." 462 00:16:05,345 --> 00:16:07,505 AND THE REST IS HISTORY. 463 00:16:07,507 --> 00:16:08,887 OH, YOU'RE A GENIUS! 464 00:16:08,888 --> 00:16:10,468 YEAH, YOU THINK SO. 465 00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:11,970 EVERYBODY ELSE THINKS I'M STUPID. 466 00:16:11,971 --> 00:16:14,351 YOU'RE NOT STUPID. 467 00:16:14,354 --> 00:16:16,604 YOU JUST LOOK AT THE WORLD IN A UNIQUE WAY. 468 00:16:16,596 --> 00:16:19,186 EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT'S CODE FOR STUPID. 469 00:16:19,189 --> 00:16:21,979 STOP SAYING THAT. REALLY. 470 00:16:21,981 --> 00:16:24,651 ALL YOUR INVENTIONS ARE BRILLIANT. 471 00:16:24,654 --> 00:16:26,034 I LOVE YOUR NEWEST ONE. 472 00:16:26,026 --> 00:16:27,946 OH, COMIC BOOKS ON TOILET PAPER. 473 00:16:27,947 --> 00:16:28,947 MM-HMM. 474 00:16:28,948 --> 00:16:30,368 SOMETHING YOU LIKE TO DO... 475 00:16:30,370 --> 00:16:32,820 Both: WITH SOMETHING YOU HAVE TO DO. 476 00:16:32,822 --> 00:16:35,382 SEE? IT'S BRILLIANT. 477 00:16:35,375 --> 00:16:37,825 SO HOW IS THE LATEST ISSUE OF "CAPTAIN T.P." COMING? 478 00:16:37,827 --> 00:16:38,917 OH, IT'S GREAT. I HAVE IT IN MY ROOM. 479 00:16:38,918 --> 00:16:40,878 WANNA GO SEE IT? YEAH. 480 00:16:40,880 --> 00:16:44,290 FOLLOW ME. OKAY. 481 00:16:47,127 --> 00:16:49,047 WHAT HAPPENED? WHAT HAPPENED? 482 00:16:49,049 --> 00:16:52,129 IS IT OVER? 483 00:16:52,132 --> 00:16:54,632 NO. HE'S STILL ALIVE. 484 00:16:56,266 --> 00:16:58,056 I MEANT THE OPERA. 485 00:16:58,058 --> 00:17:00,018 OH, NO, THIS IS JUST INTERMISSION. 486 00:17:00,019 --> 00:17:01,899 OH. WAKE UP, POOPSIE. 487 00:17:01,901 --> 00:17:04,021 IT'S TIME FOR YOUR MEDICATION. 488 00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:05,783 WHY DO YOU CALL HIM "POOPSIE"? 489 00:17:05,775 --> 00:17:09,605 DON'T ASK. 490 00:17:10,740 --> 00:17:12,530 OOPS. 491 00:17:15,455 --> 00:17:17,705 HEY! RISE AND SHINE, SLEEPYHEAD. 492 00:17:17,707 --> 00:17:19,247 IT'S OVER. 493 00:17:19,249 --> 00:17:21,829 OH, NO! IT'S OVER? 494 00:17:21,831 --> 00:17:23,291 YEAH. YOU MISSED A GREAT-- 495 00:17:23,293 --> 00:17:26,133 BABY, WE GOTTA COME BACK AND DO THIS AGAIN... 496 00:17:26,126 --> 00:17:27,376 IN ABOUT TEN YEARS. 497 00:17:27,377 --> 00:17:28,877 COME ON. BABE, WHAT DID I MISS? 498 00:17:28,878 --> 00:17:30,548 IT WAS BEAUTIFUL. 499 00:17:30,550 --> 00:17:33,090 THEY HAD DANCING AND SINGING. 500 00:17:33,093 --> 00:17:34,763 AND THEN THE MONKEY CAME OUT AND FLIPPED AROUND. 501 00:17:34,764 --> 00:17:36,144 MONKEY? 502 00:17:36,136 --> 00:17:37,676 YEAH, THAT LITTLE MONKEY, ABOUT THIS BIG. 503 00:17:37,677 --> 00:17:41,677 HE FLIPPED AROUND. I THOUGHT IT WAS A FLEA CIRCUS. 504 00:17:41,681 --> 00:17:44,141 I'LL TELL YOU THE REST IN THE LIMO. 505 00:17:44,144 --> 00:17:45,744 WHAT HAPPENED TO OUR FRIENDS? 506 00:17:45,735 --> 00:17:47,985 OH, THEY LEFT AT INTERMISSION. 507 00:17:47,987 --> 00:17:51,607 I THINK POOPSIE HAD TO GET HIS DIAPER CHANGED. 508 00:17:51,611 --> 00:17:54,651 CAN YOU BELIEVE HOW STUPID THAT LADY WAS? 509 00:17:54,654 --> 00:17:56,124 IT'S TRUE WHAT THEY SAY -- 510 00:17:56,116 --> 00:17:58,786 GOD EITHER GIVES YOU BRAINS OR BOOBS, NOT BOTH. 511 00:17:58,788 --> 00:18:01,368 YEAH. COME ON, EINSTEIN. 512 00:18:03,503 --> 00:18:05,843 AND THIS IS MY ROOM-- THE INNER SANCTUM. 513 00:18:05,835 --> 00:18:07,875 THIS IS WHERE I DO MY BEST CREATING. 514 00:18:07,877 --> 00:18:10,007 OH, MY GOD. 515 00:18:10,009 --> 00:18:11,209 YEAH, IT'S NICE. 516 00:18:11,211 --> 00:18:13,171 ISN'T IT? 517 00:18:13,173 --> 00:18:16,183 YEAH, YEAH, IT'S JUST VERY...LIVED IN. 518 00:18:16,176 --> 00:18:17,676 YEAH, I LIKE TO KEEP IT HOMEY. 519 00:18:17,677 --> 00:18:19,637 NOW, WHERE'S CAPTAIN T.P.? 520 00:18:19,639 --> 00:18:21,349 I THOUGHT I LEFT HIM OVER HERE. 521 00:18:21,351 --> 00:18:24,101 YOU KNOW, MAYBE I SHOULD HELP YOU PICK UP SOME OF THIS STUFF. 522 00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:25,533 MAYBE IT'S UNDER SOMETHING. 523 00:18:25,525 --> 00:18:27,725 I JUST HOPE NOBODY TOOK IT TO THE BATHROOM. 524 00:18:27,727 --> 00:18:29,027 IT WAS MY ONLY COPY. 525 00:18:29,028 --> 00:18:30,318 I HATE TO SEE ALL THAT HARD WORK 526 00:18:30,320 --> 00:18:31,940 FLUSHED DOWN THE TOILET. 527 00:18:31,941 --> 00:18:34,071 WHAT'S THIS, JUNIOR? "ODE TO VANESSA"? 528 00:18:34,073 --> 00:18:35,293 OH, THAT'S NOTHING. 529 00:18:35,285 --> 00:18:36,905 WHAT? WHAT IS IT? 530 00:18:36,906 --> 00:18:38,906 IT'S NOTHING. LET ME READ IT. 531 00:18:38,908 --> 00:18:40,118 IT'S NOT EVEN FINISHED. PLEASE? 532 00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:42,409 PLEASE? OKAY. 533 00:18:44,704 --> 00:18:46,464 "ODE TO VANESSA. 534 00:18:46,456 --> 00:18:47,876 "SHE MOVES SO SWEETLY, 535 00:18:47,877 --> 00:18:49,167 COMPLETELY ENTHRALLING MY HEART." 536 00:18:49,169 --> 00:18:50,919 WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. 537 00:18:50,920 --> 00:18:53,960 IF YOU'RE GOING TO READ IT, IT HAS TO BE BROUGHT TO LIFE. 538 00:18:53,963 --> 00:18:55,603 YOU HAVE TO PUT MUSIC TO IT. 539 00:18:55,595 --> 00:18:57,055 IT HAS TO BE PERFORMED. 540 00:18:57,056 --> 00:18:59,056 OKAY, SO YOU PERFORM IT FOR ME. 541 00:18:59,058 --> 00:19:00,348 ALL RIGHT. SIT ON THE BED. 542 00:19:00,350 --> 00:19:02,180 WELL, I WOULD IF I KNEW WHERE IT WAS. 543 00:19:02,182 --> 00:19:06,032 HA HA HA. IT'S RIGHT HERE. 544 00:19:06,025 --> 00:19:07,685 ALL RIGHT. 545 00:19:07,687 --> 00:19:09,857 "ODE TO VANESSA. 546 00:19:09,859 --> 00:19:13,269 "SHE MOVES SO SWEETLY... 547 00:19:13,273 --> 00:19:15,203 "COMPLETELY... 548 00:19:15,195 --> 00:19:17,275 ENTHRALLING MY HEART." 549 00:19:17,277 --> 00:19:19,777 [ IMITATES HEARTBEAT ] 550 00:19:19,779 --> 00:19:22,489 "LIKE AN ENGINE STALLING." 551 00:19:22,492 --> 00:19:25,752 VROOOM! VROOOM! 552 00:19:25,745 --> 00:19:30,085 [ SCREECHING ] 553 00:19:30,089 --> 00:19:31,419 DAMN CAR! 554 00:19:31,421 --> 00:19:34,631 "INTO HER ARMS I'M FALLING, 555 00:19:34,634 --> 00:19:39,354 "OUR ARMS, OUR LIPS, OUR LEGS ENTWINING. 556 00:19:39,349 --> 00:19:42,889 "ALL MY LIFE I'VE BEEN PINING 557 00:19:42,892 --> 00:19:45,942 "TILL COMPLETION, FRUITION, 558 00:19:45,935 --> 00:19:48,605 "I'D GIVE MY COLLEGE TUITION, 559 00:19:48,608 --> 00:19:54,358 "ALL THAT I HAVE FOR VANESSA. 560 00:19:54,364 --> 00:19:57,744 VANESSA." 561 00:19:57,737 --> 00:20:01,157 THAT'S THE MOST BEAUTIFUL POEM I'VE EVER HEARD. 562 00:20:01,160 --> 00:20:02,700 WELL, IT WAS INSPIRED 563 00:20:02,702 --> 00:20:04,372 BY THE MOST BEAUTIFUL GIRL I'VE EVER SEEN. 564 00:20:04,374 --> 00:20:06,214 OHHH. 565 00:20:07,627 --> 00:20:09,957 MMM. 566 00:20:09,959 --> 00:20:13,709 WAIT! WAIT A SECOND, JUNIOR! 567 00:20:13,713 --> 00:20:15,433 THIS ISN'T HOW I IMAGINED IT WOULD BE. 568 00:20:15,425 --> 00:20:16,675 WHAT? 569 00:20:16,676 --> 00:20:17,836 THIS -- OUR FIRST TIME. 570 00:20:17,837 --> 00:20:19,337 I JUST -- I DON'T KNOW. 571 00:20:19,339 --> 00:20:21,139 I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE MORE ROMANTIC. 572 00:20:21,140 --> 00:20:23,140 LIKE, I SAW THIS BIG, BEAUTIFUL ROOM 573 00:20:23,142 --> 00:20:26,482 AND JUST CANDLELIGHT AND ROMANTIC MUSIC. 574 00:20:26,476 --> 00:20:29,516 YOU WERE TELLING ME THAT YOU LOVE ME. 575 00:20:39,989 --> 00:20:41,489 I LOVE YOU. 576 00:20:41,491 --> 00:20:44,571 I LOVE YOU, TOO. 577 00:20:48,748 --> 00:20:50,828 CHAMPAGNE GOES RIGHT THROUGH YOU, DON'T IT? 578 00:20:50,830 --> 00:20:52,460 WHOO! RACE YOU TO THE BATHROOM! 579 00:20:52,462 --> 00:20:53,832 NO! WAIT, WAIT! 580 00:20:53,833 --> 00:20:55,133 WHAT HAPPENED TO "LADIES FIRST"? 581 00:20:55,134 --> 00:20:57,974 YOU ALWAYS PEE ON THE TOILET SEAT. 582 00:20:57,967 --> 00:21:00,507 TOLD YOU I WAS GONNA BEAT YA! 583 00:21:00,510 --> 00:21:01,930 [ ALL GASP ] 584 00:21:01,931 --> 00:21:05,011 DADDY! MOMMY! IT'S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE! 585 00:21:15,525 --> 00:21:17,395 NEXT ON MY WIFE AND KIDS... 586 00:21:17,397 --> 00:21:18,527 ALL RIGHT, LET'S HEAR IT. HOW ARE WE GOING TO PUNISH HIM? 587 00:21:18,528 --> 00:21:20,028 I'M THROWING HIM OUT, JAY. 588 00:21:20,029 --> 00:21:21,609 WHAT?! 589 00:21:21,611 --> 00:21:24,611 YOU CAN'T DO THAT, MICHAEL. HE'S OUR SON. 590 00:21:24,614 --> 00:21:26,504 YEAH, WELL, OUR SON CAN'T DO WHAT HE DID 591 00:21:26,496 --> 00:21:28,406 IN OUR BED AND STAY IN OUR HOUSE. 592 00:21:28,408 --> 00:21:29,828 I'M THROWING HIS ASS OUT. 593 00:21:29,829 --> 00:21:31,289 MICHAEL, WHERE IS HE SUPPOSED TO SLEEP? 594 00:21:31,290 --> 00:21:33,250 I DON'T CARE. I DON'T CARE, JAY. 595 00:21:33,252 --> 00:21:34,752 HE CAN TAKE OUR BED, 596 00:21:34,754 --> 00:21:36,844 BECAUSE I'M NEVER GONNA SLEEP IN THAT AGAIN. 597 00:21:36,836 --> 00:21:38,296 MICHAEL, WAIT!