1
00:00:07,218 --> 00:00:08,798
WHAT'S UP?

2
00:00:08,799 --> 00:00:11,089
DON'T "WHAT'S UP?" ME, YOU
BIG-HEADED MORON, BOULDERHEAD.

3
00:00:11,092 --> 00:00:13,512
LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID TO
MY SHIRT, DOOFUS.

4
00:00:13,514 --> 00:00:15,484
IT'S GOT OIL STAINS
ALL OVER IT.

5
00:00:15,476 --> 00:00:17,396
OH, IT'S NOT OIL.
THAT'S BRAKE FLUID.

6
00:00:17,398 --> 00:00:19,138
HOW DARE YOU TAKE
SOMETHING OF MINE

7
00:00:19,140 --> 00:00:22,060
AND USE IT TO CLEAN THAT STUPID
BROKEN-DOWN CAR OF YOURS.

8
00:00:22,063 --> 00:00:24,073
WELL, YOUR SHIRT WAS ON
THE BATHROOM FLOOR.

9
00:00:24,065 --> 00:00:26,145
DUMMY. I PUT EVERYTHING
ON THE BATHROOM FLOOR.

10
00:00:26,147 --> 00:00:28,147
THEN MOM COMES,
PICKS IT UP, AND CLEANS IT.

11
00:00:28,149 --> 00:00:29,609
THAT'S RIGHT.
THAT'S HOW IT WORKS.

12
00:00:29,610 --> 00:00:31,410
YOU SHUT UP.

13
00:00:31,412 --> 00:00:35,212
I DON'T WANT YOU EVER TOUCHING
MY STUFF -- EVER, EVER, EVER.

14
00:00:35,206 --> 00:00:36,826
YOU GOT THAT, CHROME DOME?

15
00:00:36,827 --> 00:00:39,037
YEAH? WELL, YOU LEAVE MY
STUFF ALONE, TOO.

16
00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:40,249
I NEVER TOUCH YOUR STUFF.

17
00:00:40,251 --> 00:00:41,871
OH, REALLY?

18
00:00:41,872 --> 00:00:43,712
WHAT'S THIS, HUH?

19
00:00:43,714 --> 00:00:46,054
YOU BEDAZZLED
MY BASKETBALL JERSEY.

20
00:00:46,046 --> 00:00:47,586
I THOUGHT YOU WERE
DONE WITH THAT.

21
00:00:47,588 --> 00:00:49,218
DIDN'T THEY THROW YOU
OFF THE TEAM?

22
00:00:49,220 --> 00:00:51,300
NO, BUT THEY WILL NOW,
THANKS TO YOU.

23
00:00:51,302 --> 00:00:53,722
HEY, GUYS, DON'T FIGHT!
LISTEN TO MY HAPPY SONG!

24
00:00:53,724 --> 00:00:57,184
♪ HEY, LITTLE CRITTER,
HEY, LITTLE CRITTER ♪

25
00:00:57,178 --> 00:00:59,228
I HATE YOU SO MUCH!
I HATE YOU MORE!

26
00:00:59,230 --> 00:01:00,390
YOU SMELL!

27
00:01:00,391 --> 00:01:02,441
I DON'T CARE!
THAT'S MY MAN SCENT!

28
00:01:02,443 --> 00:01:04,743
THEY'RE AT IT AGAIN.
THIS IS TORTURE.

29
00:01:04,735 --> 00:01:05,985
I GOT AN IDEA.

30
00:01:05,986 --> 00:01:08,986
WHY DON'T WE TELL THE KIDS THAT
WE'RE GOING OUT TO DINNER

31
00:01:08,989 --> 00:01:10,319
AND JUST DON'T COME HOME?

32
00:01:10,321 --> 00:01:12,071
YOU MEAN LIKE SPEND
THE NIGHT IN A HOTEL?

33
00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:13,242
NO, I MEAN RUN AWAY.

34
00:01:13,244 --> 00:01:15,334
WE GOT MONEY AND
A FULL TANK OF GAS.

35
00:01:15,326 --> 00:01:17,786
[ INDISTINCT SHOUTING ]

36
00:01:17,788 --> 00:01:19,038
GO DEAL WITH YOUR KIDS.

37
00:01:19,039 --> 00:01:20,539
OH, THEY'RE MY KIDS NOW?

38
00:01:20,541 --> 00:01:22,501
YOU PUT THOSE BURGERS
ON THE GRILL.

39
00:01:22,503 --> 00:01:23,793
NOW GO FLIP THEM.

40
00:01:23,794 --> 00:01:25,924
Claire: JUST SHUT UP!
Junior: YOU SHUT UP!

41
00:01:25,916 --> 00:01:27,336
YOU SHUT UP!
YOU SHUT UP!

42
00:01:27,338 --> 00:01:29,168
NO! YOU SHUT UP!

43
00:01:29,170 --> 00:01:31,710
HEY!
EVERYBODY SHUT UP.

44
00:01:31,712 --> 00:01:34,012
WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?

45
00:01:34,014 --> 00:01:36,984
IF YOU PUT HALF THIS ENERGY
INTO DOING YOUR CHORES,

46
00:01:36,977 --> 00:01:38,927
WE'D HAVE A CLEAN HOUSE
BY NOW.

47
00:01:38,929 --> 00:01:41,269
I AM SICK AND TIRED
OF ALL THIS FIGHTING.

48
00:01:41,272 --> 00:01:43,562
NOT ME, DADDY.
I'M YOUR GOOD BABY.

49
00:01:43,564 --> 00:01:45,404
I WAS DOING
MY HAPPY DANCE.

50
00:01:45,396 --> 00:01:49,026
♪ HEY, LITTLE CRITTER,
HEY, LITTLE CRITTER ♪

51
00:01:49,029 --> 00:01:50,439
♪ HEY, LITTLE CRITTER,
HEY, HEY... ♪

52
00:01:50,441 --> 00:01:52,071
THAT'S VERY CUTE.

53
00:01:52,072 --> 00:01:54,952
♪ SMILE, LITTLE CRITTER,
SMILE, LITTLE CRITTER ♪

54
00:01:54,945 --> 00:01:56,655
♪ SMILE, LITTLE CRITTER... ♪

55
00:01:56,657 --> 00:01:58,197
THAT'S VERY SPECIAL.

56
00:01:58,199 --> 00:02:01,039
♪ ARE YOU HAPPY, LITTLE CRITTER?
HAPPY, LI-- ♪

57
00:02:01,041 --> 00:02:02,411
ENOUGH.

58
00:02:02,413 --> 00:02:04,173
OKAY.

59
00:02:04,165 --> 00:02:05,915
YOU WANT TO HEAR
WHAT SHE DID?

60
00:02:05,916 --> 00:02:08,046
NO. I DON'T WANT TO HEAR
WHAT ANYONE DID.

61
00:02:08,048 --> 00:02:10,378
YOU KNOW, SINCE YOU GUYS
CAN'T SEEM TO FIND

62
00:02:10,381 --> 00:02:13,301
ANYTHING YOU LIKE ABOUT EACH
OTHER, I'M GONNA HELP YOU OUT.

63
00:02:13,304 --> 00:02:15,184
YOU'RE GONNA GET ME
MY OWN APARTMENT?

64
00:02:15,176 --> 00:02:17,466
UH...NO.

65
00:02:17,468 --> 00:02:20,888
BUT WHAT I WANT YOU TO DO IS YOU
SIT HERE, AND YOU SIT HERE,

66
00:02:20,891 --> 00:02:23,181
AND I WANT YOU
TO STARE AT EACH OTHER

67
00:02:23,184 --> 00:02:26,074
AND FIND OUT THREE THINGS YOU
LIKE ABOUT EACH OTHER

68
00:02:26,066 --> 00:02:27,356
AND THEN WRITE THEM DOWN.

69
00:02:27,358 --> 00:02:28,978
WE COULD BE HERE FOREVER.

70
00:02:28,979 --> 00:02:32,269
WELL, JUST TO SPEED THINGS UP,
KADY'S GONNA ASSIST YOU

71
00:02:32,273 --> 00:02:35,203
BY SINGING NONSTOP
THE HAPPY CRITTER SONG

72
00:02:35,196 --> 00:02:38,366
UNTIL YOU COME UP WITH SOMETHING
YOU LIKE ABOUT EACH OTHER.

73
00:02:38,369 --> 00:02:39,989
TAKE IT AWAY, KADY.

74
00:02:39,990 --> 00:02:43,330
♪ HEY, LITTLE CRITTER,
HEY, LITTLE CRITTER ♪

75
00:02:43,334 --> 00:02:46,094
♪ HEY, LITTLE CRITTER,
HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY ♪

76
00:02:46,086 --> 00:02:49,166
♪ HEY, LITTLE CRITTER,
HEY, LITTLE CRITTER ♪

77
00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:52,339
I CAN'T GET THAT STUPID SONG
OUT OF MY HEAD.

78
00:02:52,343 --> 00:02:54,513
WHATEVER YOU DID, THANK YOU
FOR SHUTTING THEM UP.

79
00:02:54,505 --> 00:02:55,715
YOU'RE WELCOME.

80
00:02:55,716 --> 00:02:58,136
HEY, YOU WANT TO HAVE
SOME REAL FUN?

81
00:02:58,138 --> 00:03:01,218
YEAH. READY.

82
00:03:01,222 --> 00:03:04,232
IF YOU WANT TO TAKE THE TEST
IN YOUR UNDERWEAR,

83
00:03:04,225 --> 00:03:05,475
THEN FINE, BE MY GUEST.

84
00:03:05,476 --> 00:03:08,016
OKAY, GO AHEAD.
[ COUGHS ]

85
00:03:08,018 --> 00:03:09,898
GO AHEAD.

86
00:03:09,900 --> 00:03:14,450
I'M TALKING ABOUT THIS TEST --
TESTING YOUR ROMANTIC QUOTIENT.

87
00:03:14,445 --> 00:03:16,115
I THOUGHT IT'D BE A HOOT.

88
00:03:16,116 --> 00:03:17,776
A HOOT, HUH?

89
00:03:17,778 --> 00:03:19,698
AND "HOOT" DO YOU THINK YOU'RE
KIDDING WITH THAT?

90
00:03:19,700 --> 00:03:21,080
COME ON, MICHAEL.
PLAY ALONG.

91
00:03:21,081 --> 00:03:23,951
UH...NO.

92
00:03:23,954 --> 00:03:26,674
COME ON, BABY!
COME ON. JUST FOR A FEW LAUGHS.

93
00:03:26,667 --> 00:03:29,127
AND TAKING MY PANTS DOWN
WASN'T FUNNY?

94
00:03:29,129 --> 00:03:30,289
A LITTLE BIT.

95
00:03:30,291 --> 00:03:33,881
A LI-- [ LAUGHS MOCKINGLY ]
A LITTLE!

96
00:03:33,884 --> 00:03:37,394
WHATEVER. I'M FUNNY.

97
00:03:37,388 --> 00:03:42,098
OKAY. "YOUR
SPOUSE'S EYES ARE...?"

98
00:03:42,102 --> 00:03:44,902
CLOSED, BUT HER BRA IS OPEN.

99
00:03:44,895 --> 00:03:46,845
NO!

100
00:03:46,847 --> 00:03:50,807
I'M TALKING ABOUT
MY COLOR OF MY EYES.

101
00:03:50,811 --> 00:03:52,191
UM...BROWN.

102
00:03:52,192 --> 00:03:52,982
BROWN?!

103
00:03:52,983 --> 00:03:55,203
...ISH.
...ISH?!

104
00:03:55,195 --> 00:03:58,485
IN A BLACKISH, KINDA
BLUISH, GREENISH SORT OF WAY.

105
00:03:58,489 --> 00:03:59,859
MY EYES ARE HAZEL.

106
00:03:59,860 --> 00:04:02,120
WELL, THAT'S WHAT I SAID.

107
00:04:02,122 --> 00:04:05,042
YOU MIX BROWNISH, GREENISH,
BLUISH, YOU GONNA GET HAZEL.

108
00:04:05,035 --> 00:04:07,575
I DON'T WANT
TO PLAY ANYMORE.
NO. WHY NOT?

109
00:04:07,578 --> 00:04:09,328
BECAUSE YOU'RE STARTING
TO GET MAD.

110
00:04:09,330 --> 00:04:11,710
I'M NOT GETTING MAD.
COME ON, BABE.

111
00:04:11,712 --> 00:04:14,132
"YOUR MATE'S IDEA OF
A PERFECT DATE IS...

112
00:04:14,134 --> 00:04:15,724
"'A' -- A WALK ON THE BEACH,

113
00:04:15,716 --> 00:04:18,466
"'B' -- STARGAZING AT
A PRISTINE MOUNTAINTOP,

114
00:04:18,469 --> 00:04:21,759
OR 'C' -- DINNER AND A CARRIAGE
RIDE THROUGH A PARK?"

115
00:04:21,762 --> 00:04:24,812
"C" -- BECAUSE THERE'S NOTHING
YOU LIKE BETTER THAN

116
00:04:24,805 --> 00:04:28,345
A SHRIMP DINNER FOLLOWED BY
THE SWEET SMELL OF HORSE ASS.

117
00:04:28,349 --> 00:04:30,939
WILL YOU PLEASE BE
SERIOUS?

118
00:04:30,941 --> 00:04:34,781
OKAY, I'M SERIOUS.
I'M SERIOUS GEORGE RIGHT NOW.

119
00:04:34,775 --> 00:04:36,195
AND...

120
00:04:36,196 --> 00:04:38,276
WHAT IS THE NEXT QUESTION?

121
00:04:38,278 --> 00:04:40,948
THAT'S NOT SERIOUS,
BUT OKAY.

122
00:04:40,951 --> 00:04:43,781
"WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING IS YOUR
PARTNER'S FAVORITE FOOD --

123
00:04:43,784 --> 00:04:46,584
PIZZA, STEAK, LOBSTER,
OR CHEESECAKE?"

124
00:04:46,577 --> 00:04:48,787
ALL OF THE ABOVE.

125
00:04:48,789 --> 00:04:51,289
OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT?
KEEP ON JOKING.

126
00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:54,721
THAT'S EXACTLY HOW
THE MAGAZINE SAID --

127
00:04:54,715 --> 00:04:58,875
REALLY? DID THIS MAGAZINE SAY
THAT I WOULD DO THAT?

128
00:04:58,879 --> 00:05:02,049
BABY, THOSE MAGAZINES ARE SKEWED
TO A WOMAN'S POINT OF VIEW.

129
00:05:02,052 --> 00:05:04,182
SAME THING
WITH MEN'S MAGAZINES.

130
00:05:04,184 --> 00:05:06,394
WATCH THIS.
LET'S TAKE A TEST.

131
00:05:06,387 --> 00:05:07,807
HOLD UP.

132
00:05:07,808 --> 00:05:10,268
YOU HAVE A SECRET HIDING PLACE
FOR DIRTY MAGAZINES?

133
00:05:10,270 --> 00:05:12,060
ALL MEN DO.

134
00:05:12,062 --> 00:05:14,192
COME ON, DON'T TRY
TO CHANGE THE SUBJECT.

135
00:05:14,194 --> 00:05:17,114
LET'S TAKE A LITTLE TEST
FROM HETERO MAGAZINE.

136
00:05:17,107 --> 00:05:19,197
FINE. [ SCOFFS ]
I'LL PASS IT.

137
00:05:19,199 --> 00:05:21,319
OKAY.
NO...DON'T CHEAT.

138
00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:22,491
OKAY, GO!

139
00:05:22,493 --> 00:05:25,043
"YOUR PARTNER'S IDEA OF
A ROMANTIC EVENING IS...

140
00:05:25,035 --> 00:05:27,945
"'A' -- A NIGHT AT THE OPERA
FOLLOWED BY DINNER AND DANCING,

141
00:05:27,948 --> 00:05:31,328
"'B' -- A MOONLIT PICNIC ON
A TROPICAL ISLAND,

142
00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:35,011
OR 'C' -- SLOPPY, DRUNKEN SEX?"

143
00:05:35,005 --> 00:05:36,835
Tick, tick, tick,
tick, tick, tick --

144
00:05:36,837 --> 00:05:38,337
IT'S BETWEEN "A" AND "B."

145
00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:40,628
[ IMITATES BUZZER ]
WRONG ANSWER!

146
00:05:40,631 --> 00:05:43,171
NUMBER-ONE ANSWER IS
SLOPPY, DRUNKEN SEX.

147
00:05:43,173 --> 00:05:45,313
NO, NO, NO, NO!
GIVE ME THE NEXT QUESTION.

148
00:05:45,305 --> 00:05:47,965
THERE'S NO NEXT QUESTION.
THERE'S ONLY ONE QUESTION.

149
00:05:47,968 --> 00:05:49,138
THAT'S ALL MEN WANT TO KNOW,

150
00:05:49,139 --> 00:05:51,179
AND APPARENTLY,
YOU DON'T KNOW YOUR MAN.

151
00:05:51,181 --> 00:05:55,651
SO ACCORDING TO THE MAGAZINE, WE
ARE ROMANTICALLY INCOMPATIBLE.

152
00:05:55,646 --> 00:05:58,026
WELL, I GUESS WE ARE, THEN.

153
00:05:58,028 --> 00:05:59,898
WANT TO FOOL AROUND?

154
00:05:59,900 --> 00:06:01,860
SURE DO.
ME TOO.

155
00:06:01,862 --> 00:06:05,042
Kady: ♪ HEY, LITTLE CRITTER,
HEY, LITTLE CRITTER ♪

156
00:06:05,035 --> 00:06:07,195
Junior: WILL YOU STOP
SINGING THAT STUPID SONG?

157
00:06:07,197 --> 00:06:10,247
♪ THE SONG AIN'T STUPID,
THE SONG AIN'T STUPID ♪

158
00:06:10,250 --> 00:06:12,080
Claire:
I'M GONNA CHOKE YOU!

159
00:06:12,082 --> 00:06:15,212
DID YOU WRITE DOWN SOMETHING YOU
LIKE ABOUT EACH OTHER YET?

160
00:06:15,205 --> 00:06:17,295
[ KADY GURGLING ]
Together: NOT YET, DAD.

161
00:06:17,297 --> 00:06:21,257
ALL RIGHT. THEN STOP STRANGLING
THE BABY AND GET BACK TO WORK.

162
00:06:21,261 --> 00:06:23,001
WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO
WITH THESE KIDS?

163
00:06:23,003 --> 00:06:24,343
I DON'T KNOW.

164
00:06:24,344 --> 00:06:26,854
YOU KNOW WHAT,
IF YOU CAN'T BEAT THEM --

165
00:06:26,847 --> 00:06:29,137
AND THE LAW SUGGESTS
YOU DON'T --

166
00:06:29,139 --> 00:06:31,009
THEN WHY DON'T WE JOIN THEM?

167
00:06:31,011 --> 00:06:33,181
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT,
PRETEND TO FIGHT?

168
00:06:33,183 --> 00:06:35,403
YEAH. GIVE THEM A TASTE
OF THEIR OWN MEDICINE.

169
00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:38,015
WE FIGHT FIRE WITH FIRE, JUST
ARGUE LIKE CATS AND DOGS.

170
00:06:38,018 --> 00:06:40,018
MICHAEL, YOU ARE
THE ONLY MAN ON THIS EARTH

171
00:06:40,020 --> 00:06:41,980
THAT WOULD THINK
OF SOMETHING SO AWFUL.

172
00:06:41,982 --> 00:06:45,032
I KNOW.

173
00:06:45,025 --> 00:06:46,985
OKAY, I'M IN.
YUP, I'M IN.

174
00:06:46,987 --> 00:06:48,987
Junior: I JUST THOUGHT OF
SOMETHING NICE ABOUT YOU --

175
00:06:48,989 --> 00:06:50,369
THAT SOMEDAY YOU'LL BE DEAD.

176
00:06:50,370 --> 00:06:53,370
WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT
GIVING ME LIP, WOMAN?!

177
00:06:53,373 --> 00:06:55,923
WHO DIED AND MADE YOU
THE KING, MAN?!

178
00:06:55,916 --> 00:06:58,086
NOBODY YET, BUT YOU
KEEP SASSING ME,

179
00:06:58,088 --> 00:07:00,748
THERE GONNA BE
A BEHEADING UP IN HERE!

180
00:07:00,751 --> 00:07:04,041
WELL, WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO
BLAME ON ME NOW, MICHAEL?!

181
00:07:04,044 --> 00:07:07,054
YOU CAN'T CONTROL YOUR OWN KIDS!
YOU'RE TOO SOFT ON THEM!

182
00:07:07,047 --> 00:07:09,097
THEY RUN AROUND HERE
LIKE WILD BANSHEES!

183
00:07:09,099 --> 00:07:11,809
WELL, THEY GET IT FROM
YOUR SIDE OF THE FAMILY!

184
00:07:11,812 --> 00:07:14,052
YOU'RE THE ONE WITH
THE WILD-BANSHEE TRAIT!

185
00:07:14,054 --> 00:07:16,364
YEAH, YOU WANT TO TALK
ABOUT FAMILY --

186
00:07:16,356 --> 00:07:18,146
WHAT ABOUT YOUR MAMA?!

187
00:07:18,148 --> 00:07:21,358
COME AROUND HERE WITH
THAT OLD CROOKED WIG

188
00:07:21,361 --> 00:07:25,831
SMELLING LIKE CORN CHIPS AND
LIKE A POCKET FULL OF CHEESE!

189
00:07:25,826 --> 00:07:28,696
AND DON'T GET ME STARTED
WITH THE LIVER SPOTS!

190
00:07:28,699 --> 00:07:31,989
SHE GOT SO MANY SPOTS ON HER,
SHE LOOK LIKE A DALMATIAN!

191
00:07:31,992 --> 00:07:34,072
TOO REAL?
TOO REAL.

192
00:07:34,074 --> 00:07:35,174
OH, I'M SORRY.

193
00:07:35,165 --> 00:07:37,035
I GOT CAUGHT UP IN THE --

194
00:07:37,037 --> 00:07:38,287
YEAH, WHATEVER.

195
00:07:38,288 --> 00:07:40,338
BUT LISTEN TO THAT, BABY.
YOU HEAR THAT?

196
00:07:40,340 --> 00:07:42,210
I DON'T HEAR ANYTHING.

197
00:07:42,212 --> 00:07:44,212
IT'S WORKING. SILENCE.

198
00:07:49,259 --> 00:07:51,349
DID YOU HEAR THAT?

199
00:07:51,351 --> 00:07:53,551
EVERYBODY IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD
HEARD THAT.

200
00:07:53,554 --> 00:07:55,734
DAD ACTUALLY CALLED GRANDMA
A DALMATIAN.

201
00:07:55,726 --> 00:07:56,936
HE ALWAYS DOES.

202
00:07:56,937 --> 00:07:59,227
NOT TO MOM'S FACE.
THIS IS SERIOUS.

203
00:07:59,229 --> 00:08:00,979
WELL, IT'S NOT MY FAULT.

204
00:08:00,981 --> 00:08:03,401
THEY'RE FIGHTING
BECAUSE OF YOU GUYS.

205
00:08:03,403 --> 00:08:05,453
LIKE "HEY, LITTLE CRITTER"
DOESN'T GET ON THEIR NERVES.

206
00:08:05,445 --> 00:08:07,695
NO. DADDY LIKES IT.
NOBODY LIKES IT!

207
00:08:07,698 --> 00:08:09,408
STOP YELLING!
YOU STOP YELLING!

208
00:08:09,409 --> 00:08:10,659
YOU STOP YELLING!

209
00:08:10,661 --> 00:08:12,991
LOOK, WE ALL NEED
TO STOP YELLING.

210
00:08:12,993 --> 00:08:15,173
THAT'S WHAT THEY'RE
FIGHTING ABOUT.

211
00:08:15,165 --> 00:08:17,825
YOU KNOW, THIS IS HOW
COUPLES BREAK UP.

212
00:08:17,828 --> 00:08:20,498
OH, COME ON.
MOM AND DAD'LL NEVER BREAK UP.

213
00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:23,080
THAT'S WHAT WE SAID ABOUT
BRITNEY AND JUSTIN.

214
00:08:23,083 --> 00:08:24,293
WHAT SHOULD WE DO?

215
00:08:24,294 --> 00:08:26,094
WELL, I KNOW WHAT
WE SHOULDN'T DO.

216
00:08:26,086 --> 00:08:28,256
WE SHOULDN'T DO ANYTHING
TO MAKE IT WORSE.

217
00:08:28,258 --> 00:08:30,088
WE HAVE TO BE
ON OUR BEST BEHAVIOR.

218
00:08:30,090 --> 00:08:32,050
WE HAVE TO STOP FIGHTING.

219
00:08:32,052 --> 00:08:34,182
THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE.
WE HATE EACH OTHER.

220
00:08:34,184 --> 00:08:35,944
WE REALLY DO
HATE EACH OTHER.

221
00:08:35,936 --> 00:08:39,136
BUT WE COULD PRETEND TO LIKE
EACH OTHER WHEN THEY'RE AROUND.

222
00:08:39,139 --> 00:08:42,019
YOU KNOW, KIND OF LIKE
THE JACKSONS DID

223
00:08:42,022 --> 00:08:43,232
FOR ALL THOSE YEARS.

224
00:08:43,233 --> 00:08:44,913
WHAT DO YOU SAY?

225
00:08:44,905 --> 00:08:46,485
DEAL.

226
00:08:48,448 --> 00:08:51,408
HEY, SON. WHAT ARE YOU
DOING OUT HERE?

227
00:08:51,411 --> 00:08:53,201
NOTHING.
JUST A LITTLE HOUSEWORK.

228
00:08:53,203 --> 00:08:56,253
OKAY. SEQUINS TOP,
HOUSEWORK, AND --

229
00:08:56,246 --> 00:08:59,956
AND A COPY OF WOMEN'S CIRCLE
MAGAZINE IN YOUR POCKET.

230
00:08:59,960 --> 00:09:02,120
THAT'S A GREAT
MAGAZINE, DAD.

231
00:09:02,122 --> 00:09:04,502
OH, YEAH?
DO YOU LIKE THE BRA ADS, SON?

232
00:09:04,504 --> 00:09:06,844
DO YOU LIKE THE BRA ADS?

233
00:09:06,837 --> 00:09:08,797
YEAH.
Thank God.

234
00:09:08,799 --> 00:09:11,589
AND THIS FABULOUS
ARTICLE IN HERE --

235
00:09:11,592 --> 00:09:14,172
"101 WAYS
TO PLEASE YOUR MAN."

236
00:09:14,174 --> 00:09:17,184
OKAY, I'M SCARED AGAIN.

237
00:09:17,177 --> 00:09:19,807
HOW DOES
THIS APPLY TO YOU?

238
00:09:19,810 --> 00:09:23,060
SEE, I JUST PUT A "WO"
IN FRONT OF THE "MAN,"

239
00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:24,653
AND IT BECOMES "WO-MAN."

240
00:09:24,645 --> 00:09:26,395
OKAY.

241
00:09:26,396 --> 00:09:28,236
FOR INSTANCE,

242
00:09:28,238 --> 00:09:32,318
"WHEN YOUR 'WO-MAN' COMES HOME
FROM A HARD DAY AT THE OFFICE,

243
00:09:32,322 --> 00:09:35,122
"GREET YOUR 'WO-MAN'
HOLDING A MARTINI

244
00:09:35,115 --> 00:09:37,905
WHILE WRAPPED NAKED
IN CELLOPHANE."

245
00:09:42,252 --> 00:09:43,832
HEY, BABY.

246
00:09:43,834 --> 00:09:45,304
HI.

247
00:09:45,295 --> 00:09:46,085
CLAIRE!

248
00:09:47,758 --> 00:09:49,258
IS THERE ANYTHING I CAN DO
TO HELP?

249
00:09:49,259 --> 00:09:51,089
OH, I'M JUST GETTING READY
TO GO DO THE LAUNDRY.

250
00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:53,131
OH, NO! I'LL DO IT FOR YOU.

251
00:09:53,133 --> 00:09:55,063
OH. OKAY.

252
00:09:55,055 --> 00:09:56,975
HOW WONDERFUL IS THIS?

253
00:09:56,977 --> 00:09:58,477
THAT'S RIGHT, BABY.

254
00:09:58,478 --> 00:10:00,848
RIGHT NOW WE HAVE
THREE PERFECT CHILDREN!

255
00:10:00,851 --> 00:10:02,931
AS LONG AS WE KEEP ARGUING,
WE'RE GONNA BE IN HEAVEN.

256
00:10:02,933 --> 00:10:04,483
YOU'RE A GENIUS.

257
00:10:04,484 --> 00:10:06,494
Claire: HOW DO YOU OPEN
THE WASHER?

258
00:10:06,486 --> 00:10:07,816
[ GAGS ]

259
00:10:07,818 --> 00:10:09,608
YOU'RE CHOKING ME, WOMAN!

260
00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:11,189
I'LL FIGURE IT OUT.

261
00:10:11,191 --> 00:10:12,781
BABY, I AM SO SORRY.

262
00:10:12,783 --> 00:10:15,793
THAT'S OKAY. I LIKE IT.
DO IT AGAIN.

263
00:10:15,786 --> 00:10:18,366
NIBBLE ON MY EAR.
NIBBLE ON...

264
00:10:18,368 --> 00:10:20,288
LIKE THAT? LIKE THAT?

265
00:10:20,290 --> 00:10:23,040
NOW SPIT ON MY HEAD
AND SMACK IT.

266
00:10:27,918 --> 00:10:30,338
WHAT DO YOU WANT
TO ARGUE ABOUT NOW?

267
00:10:30,340 --> 00:10:32,090
I THINK THE KIDS
HAVE HAD ENOUGH.

268
00:10:32,092 --> 00:10:34,852
COME ON. NOT ONLY HAVE THEY
STOPPED FIGHTING,

269
00:10:34,845 --> 00:10:37,055
BUT THEY'RE ACTUALLY WORKING
TOGETHER NOW.

270
00:10:37,057 --> 00:10:38,387
WE CAN'T STOP THIS.

271
00:10:38,388 --> 00:10:41,098
OH, BABE, I'M STILL
NOT CONVINCED.

272
00:10:41,101 --> 00:10:43,021
OKAY. THEN CONSIDER THIS --

273
00:10:43,023 --> 00:10:44,523
IMAGINE A WORLD

274
00:10:44,524 --> 00:10:47,654
WHERE YOU WILL NEVER HAVE
TO DO JUNIOR'S LAUNDRY AGAIN.

275
00:10:47,647 --> 00:10:49,147
I DON'T KNOW.

276
00:10:49,149 --> 00:10:52,819
COME ON, NOW, CLOSE YOUR EYES
AND VISUALIZE THE SOCKS.

277
00:10:52,823 --> 00:10:54,233
SEE THOSE SOCKS, JAY.

278
00:10:54,234 --> 00:10:56,994
OKAY, NOW HERE COME
THE UNDERWEAR.

279
00:10:56,987 --> 00:10:58,367
OH. OH.

280
00:10:58,368 --> 00:11:00,618
DO YOU SEE THE...
[ IMITATES BRAKES SQUEALING ]

281
00:11:00,620 --> 00:11:02,740
YOU SEE THAT...
[ IMITATES BRAKES SQUEALING ]

282
00:11:02,743 --> 00:11:03,913
I SEE IT. I SEE IT.

283
00:11:03,914 --> 00:11:06,214
OKAY, NOW LISTEN
TO THE UNDERWEAR TALK.

284
00:11:06,206 --> 00:11:07,996
[ GROWLS ]

285
00:11:07,998 --> 00:11:09,878
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT,
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT!

286
00:11:09,880 --> 00:11:12,090
ALL RIGHT. LET'S JUST ARGUE
ABOUT COOKING OR SOMETHING.

287
00:11:12,092 --> 00:11:13,792
OKAY, LIKE YOUR FOOD
IS SO BAD --

288
00:11:13,794 --> 00:11:15,264
YEAH, THAT'S GOOD.
HERE THEY COME.

289
00:11:15,255 --> 00:11:17,425
I TOLD YOU I DON'T LIKE
MY EGGS FRIED.

290
00:11:17,427 --> 00:11:19,217
HOW MANY TIMES
I GOTTA TELL YOU?

291
00:11:19,219 --> 00:11:21,509
I WANT SCRAMBLED EGGS,
WOMAN, SCRAMBLED.

292
00:11:21,511 --> 00:11:24,181
YOU WANT SCRAMBLED EGGS?!

293
00:11:24,184 --> 00:11:26,194
THERE YOU GO.

294
00:11:26,186 --> 00:11:29,766
SCRAMBLED EGGS!

295
00:11:29,770 --> 00:11:32,190
HAPPY?

296
00:11:32,192 --> 00:11:35,702
I HAVEN'T BEEN HAPPY
SINCE YOU LEARNED TO COOK!

297
00:11:35,695 --> 00:11:38,115
THEN MAYBE THIS'LL MAKE YOU
HAPPY, DADDY.

298
00:11:38,118 --> 00:11:42,158
♪ HEY, LITTLE CRITTER,
HEY, LITTLE CRITTER ♪

299
00:11:42,162 --> 00:11:44,832
♪ HEY, LITTLE CRITTER,
HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY ♪

300
00:11:44,825 --> 00:11:46,665
OH, YEAH.
THAT CHEERED ME UP.

301
00:11:46,666 --> 00:11:48,956
MY LITTLE ONE-HIT WONDER.
THANK YOU, BABY.

302
00:11:48,959 --> 00:11:51,169
HEY, MOM, I FINISHED DOING
THE LAUNDRY FOR YOU.

303
00:11:51,171 --> 00:11:52,421
OH, THANK YOU, BABY.

304
00:11:52,422 --> 00:11:54,802
AT LEAST SOMEBODY AROUND HERE
HELPS ME OUT!

305
00:11:54,795 --> 00:11:56,925
WHAT? YOU DON'T
HELP ME OUT.

306
00:11:56,927 --> 00:11:59,177
WHAT ABOUT MY CAR?
IT'S FILTHY.

307
00:11:59,179 --> 00:12:01,009
THAT'S FUNNY YOU SAID THAT,
DAD,

308
00:12:01,011 --> 00:12:04,051
BECAUSE JUNIOR WAS TELLING ME
THAT HE WAS GONNA WASH YOUR CAR.

309
00:12:04,054 --> 00:12:05,314
I WAS?

310
00:12:05,305 --> 00:12:08,515
REALLY? YOU'D DO THAT
FOR YOUR DEAR OLD DAD?

311
00:12:08,518 --> 00:12:10,108
YEP. HE'D BE HAPPY TO.

312
00:12:10,110 --> 00:12:12,440
THAT WOULD SURE MAKE MY
STRESS LEVEL GO DOWN.

313
00:12:12,442 --> 00:12:14,232
JUST LIKE
CLAIRE WOULD BE HAPPY

314
00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:16,824
TO VACUUM THE WHOLE,
ENTIRE HOUSE.

315
00:12:16,817 --> 00:12:18,987
REMEMBER WHEN
YOU SAID THAT, CLAIRE?

316
00:12:18,989 --> 00:12:22,069
YEAH. ANYTHING TO LOWER
THOSE STRESS LEVELS.

317
00:12:22,072 --> 00:12:25,792
SHE'LL CLEAN THE WHOLE HOUSE --
INSIDE AND OUT --

318
00:12:25,786 --> 00:12:27,286
WON'T YOU, CLAIRE?

319
00:12:27,287 --> 00:12:28,417
YEAH.

320
00:12:28,418 --> 00:12:30,168
WHAT CAN I DO?

321
00:12:30,170 --> 00:12:32,330
WELL, I'VE BEEN TRYING
TO GET YOUR MOTHER

322
00:12:32,332 --> 00:12:35,142
TO WASH MY FEET FOR
THE PAST MONTH OR SO,

323
00:12:35,135 --> 00:12:38,875
BUT I GUESS IT WOULD BE BETTER
WITH THESE LITTLE HANDS

324
00:12:38,879 --> 00:12:41,219
THAT CAN WRAP AROUND
THE BUNION

325
00:12:41,221 --> 00:12:43,591
AND MILK OUT
ALL THAT EXCESS JUICE.

326
00:12:43,593 --> 00:12:45,483
AND THEN
THEM LITTLE FINGERS --

327
00:12:45,475 --> 00:12:47,685
YOU GOT THE PERFECT SIZE
TO REACH UP IN THERE

328
00:12:47,687 --> 00:12:49,437
AND SNATCH THE GOOK OUT.

329
00:12:54,855 --> 00:12:56,775
[ SIGHS ]
[ SIGHS ]
[ SIGHS ]

330
00:12:56,776 --> 00:12:58,156
OH, I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE.

331
00:12:58,158 --> 00:13:01,158
IF I HAVE TO CLEAN ANOTHER
TOILET, I'M GONNA KILL MYSELF.

332
00:13:01,161 --> 00:13:03,491
I FEEL LIKE CINDERELLA.

333
00:13:03,493 --> 00:13:06,213
AT LEAST YOU DON'T HAVE BUNION
CHEESE ON YOUR HANDS.

334
00:13:06,206 --> 00:13:09,286
I'D GIVE ANYTHING FOR BUNION
CHEESE AFTER THE SQUISHED BUGS

335
00:13:09,289 --> 00:13:11,909
AND BIRD DOO-DOO I HAD
TO SCRAPE OFF THAT CAR.

336
00:13:11,912 --> 00:13:13,502
Michael: WHERE'S MY COMB,
WOMAN?!

337
00:13:13,503 --> 00:13:16,263
Jay: WHY, BALDY?! WHAT DO
YOU WANT TO DO, REMINISCE?!

338
00:13:16,256 --> 00:13:17,296
THEY'RE AT IT AGAIN.

339
00:13:17,297 --> 00:13:20,087
I'M SICK AND TIRED
OF LISTENING TO THIS STUFF.

340
00:13:20,090 --> 00:13:22,010
IT'S TORTURE.

341
00:13:22,012 --> 00:13:23,722
OKAY, WE'VE GOTTA
DO SOMETHING

342
00:13:23,723 --> 00:13:25,773
'CAUSE I'M DYING
FROM ALL THIS WORK.

343
00:13:25,765 --> 00:13:27,685
WE'VE GOTTA DO WHAT
THEY WOULD DO.

344
00:13:27,687 --> 00:13:30,097
WE HAVE TO TALK TO THEM
ON THEIR OWN LEVEL.

345
00:13:33,934 --> 00:13:36,864
HEY, DAD.
I NEED TO TALK TO YOU.

346
00:13:36,857 --> 00:13:39,197
WHOA, THIS SOUNDS SERIOUS.

347
00:13:39,199 --> 00:13:40,649
IT IS.

348
00:13:40,650 --> 00:13:42,030
[ SIGHS ]

349
00:13:42,032 --> 00:13:45,162
HOW LONG HAVE
I KNOWN YOU, DAD?

350
00:13:45,155 --> 00:13:48,405
UM...HOW OLD ARE YOU?

351
00:13:48,408 --> 00:13:51,998
DON'T CHANGE THE SUBJECT.

352
00:13:52,002 --> 00:13:55,842
OKAY, PROBABLY 16, 17 YEARS.

353
00:13:55,835 --> 00:13:58,795
THAT'S A LONG TIME,
ALMOST MY WHOLE LIFE.

354
00:13:58,798 --> 00:13:59,958
AND IN THAT TIME,

355
00:13:59,960 --> 00:14:03,760
I HAVE NEVER SEEN YOU ACT
IN SUCH A CHILDISH MANNER.

356
00:14:03,763 --> 00:14:05,063
I BEG YOUR PARDON?

357
00:14:05,055 --> 00:14:07,925
THIS FIGHTING IS SILLY,
AND IT'S IMPACTING EVERYONE.

358
00:14:07,928 --> 00:14:08,888
WELL, SHE STARTED IT.

359
00:14:08,889 --> 00:14:10,679
I DON'T CARE
WHO STARTED IT.

360
00:14:10,680 --> 00:14:12,810
I DON'T HAVE TO --
SIT DOWN!

361
00:14:16,316 --> 00:14:19,316
IT'S UP TO YOU TO FINISH IT.

362
00:14:19,319 --> 00:14:20,439
BUT --

363
00:14:20,440 --> 00:14:21,820
NO BUTS.

364
00:14:21,821 --> 00:14:24,861
SEE, LOVE IS A FLOWER
THAT WILL ONLY BLOOM

365
00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:28,754
IN THE RICH SOIL OF
UNCONDITIONAL ACCEPTANCE.

366
00:14:28,748 --> 00:14:30,948
YOU READING WOMEN'S CIRCLE
AGAIN?

367
00:14:30,951 --> 00:14:32,951
OH, IT'S
A GREAT MAGAZINE, DAD!

368
00:14:32,953 --> 00:14:35,593
UH, LOOK, SON, I APPRECIATE WHAT
YOU'RE TRYING TO DO,

369
00:14:35,585 --> 00:14:38,335
BUT YOUR MOM AND I -- IT'S KIND
OF LIKE YOU AND CLAIRE.

370
00:14:38,338 --> 00:14:40,088
YOU KNOW HOW
YOU DON'T LIKE HER,

371
00:14:40,090 --> 00:14:42,710
HOW JUST THE SIGHT OF HER
MAKES YOUR SKIN CRAWL?

372
00:14:42,712 --> 00:14:43,882
YEAH.

373
00:14:43,883 --> 00:14:45,473
WELL, THAT'S HOW I FEEL
ABOUT YOUR MOTHER.

374
00:14:45,465 --> 00:14:47,595
BUT THERE'S SOME GOOD THINGS
ABOUT CLAIRE, TOO.

375
00:14:47,597 --> 00:14:48,927
SHE'S NOT ALL BAD.

376
00:14:48,929 --> 00:14:49,809
REALLY? LIKE WHAT?

377
00:14:49,809 --> 00:14:51,809
I DON'T KNOW.
LOTS OF THINGS.

378
00:14:51,811 --> 00:14:53,721
I CAN'T THINK OF ONE
RIGHT NOW,

379
00:14:53,723 --> 00:14:56,903
BUT I KNOW FOR A FACT THAT I
DON'T HATE HER ALL THE TIME.

380
00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:59,606
WELL, IT SEEMS LIKE IT.
YOU GUYS ARE ALWAYS FIGHTING.

381
00:14:59,609 --> 00:15:01,859
THAT'S BECAUSE IF I LET HER
KNOW THAT I LIKE HER --

382
00:15:01,861 --> 00:15:04,441
EVEN A LITTLE BIT --
SHE'LL WANT TO HANG OUT WITH ME.

383
00:15:04,444 --> 00:15:06,244
SHE'LL CRAMP MY STYLE.

384
00:15:06,236 --> 00:15:09,526
WOW, JUNIOR, THIS HAS BEEN
A REVELATION FOR ME.

385
00:15:09,529 --> 00:15:11,869
THANK YOU.
YOU'VE OPENED MY EYES.

386
00:15:11,871 --> 00:15:13,161
I HAVE?

387
00:15:13,163 --> 00:15:18,713
YEAH. I REALIZE THAT YOUR MOTHER
IS CRAMPING MY STYLE.

388
00:15:18,708 --> 00:15:20,798
THANKS, SON.

389
00:15:23,173 --> 00:15:25,013
[ KNOCK ON DOOR, DOOR OPENS ]

390
00:15:25,005 --> 00:15:27,005
HEY. YOU WANTED TO SEE ME?

391
00:15:27,007 --> 00:15:28,507
YES.

392
00:15:28,508 --> 00:15:30,638
UM, MOM, WHEN PEOPLE ARE
TOGETHER FOR A WHILE,

393
00:15:30,640 --> 00:15:34,510
THERE'S A DANGER THAT THEY'LL
TAKE EACH OTHER FOR GRANTED.

394
00:15:34,514 --> 00:15:38,064
UM, I'M NOT
SURE I FOLLOW YOU.

395
00:15:38,058 --> 00:15:40,558
HELLO! I'M OVER HERE!

396
00:15:40,560 --> 00:15:41,980
OH. SORRY.

397
00:15:41,982 --> 00:15:44,862
YOU AND DAD HAVE TO STOP THIS
STUPID FIGHTING.

398
00:15:44,864 --> 00:15:46,414
WELL, WHY?

399
00:15:46,406 --> 00:15:48,736
YOU AND JUNIOR FIGHT
ALL THE TIME.

400
00:15:48,738 --> 00:15:51,568
THAT'S BECAUSE YELLING IS THE
ONLY WAY TO GET HIS ATTENTION.

401
00:15:51,571 --> 00:15:53,411
OH.

402
00:15:53,413 --> 00:15:56,343
I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

403
00:15:56,336 --> 00:15:58,666
MOM, THE BOY EATS BEANS
WITH HIS HANDS.

404
00:15:58,668 --> 00:16:01,338
I DON'T KNOW IF HE'S TRULY
STUPID OR JUST LAZY,

405
00:16:01,341 --> 00:16:03,631
BUT EITHER WAY, SOMEBODY'S GOTTA
LOOK OUT FOR HIM.

406
00:16:03,633 --> 00:16:05,183
OH, I GET IT.

407
00:16:05,175 --> 00:16:07,715
YELLING IS THE ONLY WAY TO GET
YOUR DADDY'S ATTENTION.

408
00:16:07,717 --> 00:16:09,007
THANKS, CLAIRE.

409
00:16:09,009 --> 00:16:11,589
I'M GLAD SOMEBODY
UNDERSTANDS.

410
00:16:11,591 --> 00:16:12,721
[ GIGGLES ]

411
00:16:12,722 --> 00:16:14,852
WAIT, I --

412
00:16:14,854 --> 00:16:16,524
HOW'D IT GO?

413
00:16:16,516 --> 00:16:18,596
IT'S LIKE
TALKING TO A WALL.

414
00:16:18,598 --> 00:16:20,978
YEAH. I DON'T THINK I GOT
THROUGH TO DAD, EITHER.

415
00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:23,480
TOLD YOU WE SHOULD TRY
THE POWER OF SONG.

416
00:16:23,483 --> 00:16:25,783
UH...NO.

417
00:16:25,775 --> 00:16:27,485
COME ON, JUNIOR, THINK.

418
00:16:27,487 --> 00:16:30,607
[ SIGHS ] OW!

419
00:16:30,610 --> 00:16:31,990
WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?

420
00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:33,371
I JUST GOT AN IDEA.

421
00:16:33,373 --> 00:16:34,613
HOW CAN YOU TELL?

422
00:16:34,614 --> 00:16:36,004
BECAUSE MY HEAD HURTS.

423
00:16:35,995 --> 00:16:38,785
NOW, Shh! DON'T SAY ANYTHING
OR IT WILL GO AWAY.

424
00:16:38,788 --> 00:16:40,958
DANG, I LOST IT!

425
00:16:40,960 --> 00:16:44,500
OW! OKAY, BACK.

426
00:16:44,504 --> 00:16:45,894
OKAY, HERE IT IS --

427
00:16:45,885 --> 00:16:49,755
NUMBER ONE OF "101 WAYS
TO PLEASE YOUR 'WO-MAN'" --

428
00:16:49,759 --> 00:16:51,929
A CANDLELIGHT DINNER FOR TWO.

429
00:16:51,931 --> 00:16:54,391
THAT IS A GREAT IDEA.

430
00:16:54,394 --> 00:16:57,274
I KNOW.
WHAT'D I SAY?

431
00:16:57,267 --> 00:16:59,937
THIS BETTER NOT BE A JOKE.

432
00:17:03,022 --> 00:17:04,062
DAD, MEET MOM.

433
00:17:04,064 --> 00:17:05,994
MOM, SAY HELLO TO DAD.

434
00:17:05,985 --> 00:17:07,525
WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?

435
00:17:07,527 --> 00:17:10,317
WELL, WE KNOW HOW WE'VE BEEN
STRESSING YOU GUYS OUT LATELY,

436
00:17:10,320 --> 00:17:12,990
SO TO MAKE UP FOR IT, WE'VE
COOKED YOU A ROMANTIC DINNER.

437
00:17:12,992 --> 00:17:15,542
AND WE HAVE SOME GREAT
ENTERTAINMENT FOR YOU, TOO.

438
00:17:15,535 --> 00:17:19,075
SO WHILE I GO CHECK ON
THE "HORSE DEE OVARIES"...

439
00:17:19,079 --> 00:17:20,829
WHAT?

440
00:17:20,830 --> 00:17:23,250
I THINK HE MEANS
HORS D'OEUVRES.

441
00:17:23,253 --> 00:17:24,793
THOSE THINGS.

442
00:17:24,794 --> 00:17:29,344
SIT BACK, RELAX, AND ENJOY THE
SEDUCTIVE SOUNDS OF LADY KYLE.

443
00:17:32,672 --> 00:17:35,352
[ GIGGLES ]

444
00:17:35,345 --> 00:17:37,805
[ PLAYS NOTE ON HARMONICA ]

445
00:17:40,019 --> 00:17:45,529
♪ HEY, LITTLE CRITTER ♪

446
00:17:45,525 --> 00:17:52,985
♪ HE-E-E-Y, LITTLE CRITTER ♪

447
00:17:52,992 --> 00:17:58,372
♪ HEY, LITTLE CRITTER ♪

448
00:17:58,368 --> 00:18:01,498
♪ HEY, HEY ♪

449
00:18:01,501 --> 00:18:02,581
ALL RIGHT.

450
00:18:02,582 --> 00:18:04,202
OH, THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL.

451
00:18:04,204 --> 00:18:05,974
THERE'S MORE.

452
00:18:05,965 --> 00:18:07,835
OH.
OKAY.

453
00:18:07,837 --> 00:18:12,257
♪ DON'T FIGHT, LITTLE CRITTERS ♪

454
00:18:12,262 --> 00:18:13,882
♪ I WON'T FIGHT ♪

455
00:18:13,883 --> 00:18:17,183
♪ DON'T FIGHT, LITTLE CRITTERS ♪

456
00:18:17,177 --> 00:18:19,807
♪ I WON'T FIGHT ♪

457
00:18:19,809 --> 00:18:26,319
♪ DON'T FI-I-I-GHT,
LITTLE CRITTERS ♪

458
00:18:26,316 --> 00:18:29,896
♪ EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE OKAY ♪

459
00:18:29,899 --> 00:18:32,319
[ Laughing ]
OKAY, BABY.

460
00:18:32,322 --> 00:18:34,232
OH, THAT WAS SO SWEET.

461
00:18:34,234 --> 00:18:36,744
EXCUSE ME, LADY KYLE.

462
00:18:36,736 --> 00:18:38,326
THERE YOU GO.

463
00:18:38,328 --> 00:18:40,578
WHAT IS THAT SMELL?

464
00:18:40,580 --> 00:18:41,790
[ GAGGING ]

465
00:18:41,791 --> 00:18:43,911
HERE WE HAVE DELICIOUS
BITS OF SPAM

466
00:18:43,913 --> 00:18:47,133
FESTOONED WITH PUMPKIN SEEDS
ON RITZ CRACKERS.

467
00:18:47,126 --> 00:18:49,876
AND -- AND
BLACKENED CATFISH.

468
00:18:49,879 --> 00:18:51,959
WE'RE GONNA LET YOU
OFF THE HOOK.

469
00:18:51,961 --> 00:18:54,011
HERE, BURY THIS.
BURY THIS.

470
00:18:54,013 --> 00:18:55,433
EVERYBODY, SIT DOWN.
SIT.

471
00:18:55,425 --> 00:18:58,215
OKAY, LISTEN, YOUR MOTHER AND I
HAVE NOT BEEN ARGUING.

472
00:18:58,218 --> 00:19:00,178
WE'VE JUST BEEN
PRETENDING TO FIGHT

473
00:19:00,180 --> 00:19:02,100
BECAUSE WE WANTED TO SHOW
YOU GUYS

474
00:19:02,101 --> 00:19:04,021
HOW ANNOYING
AND DISRUPTIVE IT IS.

475
00:19:04,023 --> 00:19:06,943
AND YOU GUYS NEED TO THINK ABOUT
THIS -- WE ARE A FAMILY.

476
00:19:06,936 --> 00:19:08,726
YEAH, AND SOMETIMES
FAMILIES FIGHT,

477
00:19:08,728 --> 00:19:11,478
BUT WHEN I HEAR YOU TALKING
ABOUT HOW YOU HATE YOUR BROTHER

478
00:19:11,481 --> 00:19:13,481
AND HOW YOU WISH YOUR
SISTER WOULD DIE,

479
00:19:13,483 --> 00:19:15,833
YOU'RE CROSSING THE LINE,
AND I DON'T WANT TO HEAR

480
00:19:15,825 --> 00:19:17,865
THAT KIND OF TALK
IN THIS HOUSE ANYMORE.

481
00:19:17,867 --> 00:19:21,907
WELL, ACTUALLY, I DID FIND THREE
THINGS ABOUT JUNIOR THAT I LIKE.

482
00:19:21,911 --> 00:19:23,831
WELL, I WANT YOU TO SHARE
THAT WITH HIM.

483
00:19:23,833 --> 00:19:27,343
WELL, YOU MAKE ME LAUGH,
AND I FEEL SAFE AROUND YOU,

484
00:19:27,337 --> 00:19:31,167
BUT MOST OF ALL, I FEEL REALLY,
REALLY, REALLY, REALLY SMART

485
00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:32,670
WHEN I'M AROUND YOU.

486
00:19:34,424 --> 00:19:36,564
WHY, THANK YOU, CLAIRE.

487
00:19:36,556 --> 00:19:38,256
AND I HAVE MY LIST
ABOUT CLAIRE.

488
00:19:38,258 --> 00:19:40,258
OKAY, I WANT YOU
TO TELL HER THAT.

489
00:19:40,260 --> 00:19:43,350
I LIKE YOUR CONFIDENCE,
YOUR HUMOR,

490
00:19:43,353 --> 00:19:46,863
AND YOUR FRIEND TONYA
WITH THE BIG BUTT.

491
00:19:46,856 --> 00:19:48,686
A-HA HA! A-HA HA! HEH!

492
00:19:48,688 --> 00:19:50,268
[ SIGHS ]

493
00:19:51,861 --> 00:19:54,361
WELL, WE MADE SOME KIND OF
BREAKTHROUGH.

494
00:19:54,364 --> 00:19:55,784
THIS IS GOOD.

495
00:19:55,775 --> 00:19:57,315
SO EVERYTHING'S OKAY?

496
00:19:57,317 --> 00:19:59,407
YES, BABY,
EVERYTHING'S OKAY.

497
00:19:59,409 --> 00:20:00,619
YOU PROMISE?

498
00:20:00,620 --> 00:20:02,320
PROMISE.
PROMISE.

499
00:20:02,322 --> 00:20:03,372
PINKIE SWEAR?

500
00:20:03,373 --> 00:20:05,423
PINKIE SWEAR.
PINKIE SWEAR.

501
00:20:05,415 --> 00:20:07,165
SPIN-AROUND PINKIE SWEAR?

502
00:20:07,166 --> 00:20:10,916
SPIN AROUND...
SPIN AROUND
AND A PINKIE SWEAR.

503
00:20:10,920 --> 00:20:12,920
HOP ON ONE LEG, SPIN-AROUND
PINKIE SWEAR?

504
00:20:12,922 --> 00:20:16,012
OKAY, KID,
YOU'RE ANNOYING ME.

505
00:20:16,005 --> 00:20:18,675
BUT YOU TWO HAVE TO KISS
TO PROVE IT.

506
00:20:18,678 --> 00:20:20,968
[ SMOOCHES ]

507
00:20:20,970 --> 00:20:22,890
THERE. YOU HAPPY?

508
00:20:22,892 --> 00:20:26,352
NO, A REAL KISS
LIKE WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK.

509
00:20:33,813 --> 00:20:36,073
OKAY.

510
00:20:36,065 --> 00:20:38,315
YOU CAN STOP NOW.

511
00:20:38,318 --> 00:20:41,408
THIS IS GETTING ICKY.

512
00:20:41,411 --> 00:20:42,951
[ SIGHS ]

513
00:20:42,952 --> 00:20:46,372
CLAIRE, JUNIOR, THERE'S
GONNA BE A NEW BABY!

514
00:20:49,078 --> 00:20:51,868
HEY, BABE.
YOU KNOW WHAT?

515
00:20:51,871 --> 00:20:54,541
I DIDN'T REALIZE HOW STUPID
THIS MAGAZINE IS.

516
00:20:54,544 --> 00:20:57,054
CHECK OUT THE 58th WAY
TO PLEASE YOUR MAN.

517
00:20:57,046 --> 00:21:00,756
GREET HIM AT THE DOOR HOLDING
A MARTINI WRAPPED IN CELLOPHANE.

518
00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:02,800
[ LAUGHS ]

519
00:21:02,802 --> 00:21:05,482
YOU STILL
THINK IT'S STUPID?

520
00:21:05,475 --> 00:21:07,555
[ Laughing ] OH, MY!

521
00:21:07,557 --> 00:21:08,807
COME HERE, WOMAN.

522
00:21:08,808 --> 00:21:10,978
HELP ME FIND THOSE OLIVES.

523
00:21:10,980 --> 00:21:13,730
[ LAUGHS ]

524
00:21:13,733 --> 00:21:15,783
OOH!

525
00:21:15,775 --> 00:21:18,065
THIS IS GONNA BE THE SAFEST SEX
WE EVER HAD, HUH?

526
00:21:18,067 --> 00:21:19,897
♪ HEY, LITTLE CRITTER -- ♪

527
00:21:19,899 --> 00:21:21,779
DON'T SAY LITTLE.
BIG CRITTER.

528
00:21:21,781 --> 00:21:23,951
♪ HEY, BIG CRITTER ♪

529
00:21:23,953 --> 00:21:25,283
♪ HEY, BIG -- ♪

530
00:21:25,284 --> 00:21:27,834
[ BOTH LAUGHING ]