1 00:00:06,400 --> 00:00:08,960 Why don't I get you a loaf of bread? Maybe you can clean the whole kitchen. 2 00:00:12,300 --> 00:00:16,120 George, I am honored to sup with you. 3 00:00:17,300 --> 00:00:20,500 Who knew when I started working at the factory, I'd be dating your mom. 4 00:00:24,040 --> 00:00:27,100 I spent all my life looking for the perfect woman, and the whole time she 5 00:00:27,100 --> 00:00:29,180 right under my nose, inspecting my parts. 6 00:00:34,220 --> 00:00:37,800 Hey, baby, if we're going to catch a movie, we better skedaddle. You know 7 00:00:37,880 --> 00:00:39,060 I don't feel so good. 8 00:00:39,280 --> 00:00:40,600 You better go on without me. 9 00:00:40,820 --> 00:00:43,080 I'll go to the movies with you. What were you going to go see? 10 00:00:43,400 --> 00:00:47,200 Well, Benny was going to drag me to one of those black guy, kung fu guy, buddy 11 00:00:47,200 --> 00:00:49,340 movies. They never get along. 12 00:00:51,630 --> 00:00:54,770 Hey, you can come over to my house and watch Superstars of Wrestling. 13 00:00:56,630 --> 00:00:58,910 How can you watch that stuff? It's all fake. 14 00:01:00,170 --> 00:01:01,170 I know. 15 00:01:05,650 --> 00:01:07,070 Good night, babe. Feel better. 16 00:01:07,550 --> 00:01:11,210 Oh, good night, you guys. Randy, thanks again for the homemade cheese. 17 00:01:14,290 --> 00:01:17,810 I'll wash the coffee can out and I'll get it back to you. No problem, Angie. 18 00:01:24,490 --> 00:01:25,490 You gonna throw that cheese in the trash? 19 00:01:25,630 --> 00:01:27,030 No, I'm gonna do what I do with the dog poop. 20 00:01:27,790 --> 00:01:30,030 Put it in the scooper and launch it as far as I can. 21 00:01:34,090 --> 00:01:35,090 Benny, you okay? 22 00:01:35,630 --> 00:01:37,130 I've been burning up all day. 23 00:01:38,870 --> 00:01:40,550 You do feel hot and clammy. 24 00:01:41,890 --> 00:01:42,990 That's just the top half. 25 00:01:49,250 --> 00:01:50,890 Do you have any other symptoms? 26 00:01:52,070 --> 00:01:53,670 Irritability. Any new symptoms? 27 00:02:03,310 --> 00:02:08,050 At that age, this could be the beginning of menopause. No, no, no. I just 28 00:02:08,050 --> 00:02:11,410 started dating a 42 -year -old guy. I can't be going through the change. 29 00:02:12,050 --> 00:02:16,650 Penny, it's not the end of the world. A gynecologist can help you. There's pills 30 00:02:16,650 --> 00:02:19,510 for the incontinence, hormone creams to restore lubrication. 31 00:02:35,600 --> 00:02:38,020 to talk your mom into seeing the doctor. She might be going through the change. 32 00:02:38,380 --> 00:02:42,820 Hey, you don't have to tell everybody about this. I don't want people to think 33 00:02:42,820 --> 00:02:43,820 am less than a woman. 34 00:02:44,320 --> 00:02:46,180 Yeah, God forbid that secret gets out. 35 00:02:48,400 --> 00:02:51,060 When was the last time you saw your gynecologist? 36 00:02:51,520 --> 00:02:52,660 Oh, it's been a few years. 37 00:02:52,880 --> 00:02:53,880 Well, how many years? 38 00:02:54,660 --> 00:03:00,040 Well, let's see. I was lying on my back full of drugs. George was crying. 39 00:03:00,520 --> 00:03:04,020 So it was either the day he was born or Christmas. 40 00:03:05,120 --> 00:03:06,120 1973. 41 00:03:09,160 --> 00:03:12,060 You haven't been to the doctor in 37 years? 42 00:03:12,280 --> 00:03:13,780 Cochina, you should be ashamed of yourself. 43 00:03:16,400 --> 00:03:19,960 Oh, come on. They always find something wrong with you. That's how they make 44 00:03:19,960 --> 00:03:20,879 their money. 45 00:03:20,880 --> 00:03:21,880 Look, Mom. 46 00:03:23,060 --> 00:03:26,040 If there's a problem, you gotta deal with this, okay? So you gotta go to the 47 00:03:26,040 --> 00:03:27,880 doctor tomorrow, even if I gotta take you. 48 00:03:29,040 --> 00:03:31,300 You are gonna take me to the gynecologist? 49 00:03:34,420 --> 00:03:37,700 Yeah, but I'm going to wear my headphones so I don't hear the 50 00:03:37,780 --> 00:03:39,040 oh my God, I quit. 51 00:04:04,589 --> 00:04:06,530 Well, Mom and I are off to the gyno. 52 00:04:09,270 --> 00:04:10,270 Look at you. 53 00:04:10,430 --> 00:04:11,610 You're all dressed up. 54 00:04:12,110 --> 00:04:16,390 Well, I figured I'd feel less cheap if I had some nice heels in the stirrup. 55 00:04:18,750 --> 00:04:20,570 Well, Mom and I are off to the gyno. 56 00:04:25,230 --> 00:04:27,290 Hey, Mambo Kings, oye como va? 57 00:04:29,510 --> 00:04:31,390 Grandpa's teaching me the secrets of the conga. 58 00:04:32,010 --> 00:04:33,610 Listen to the heartbeat of Cuba. 59 00:04:36,150 --> 00:04:42,930 Can one raft of 60 00:04:42,930 --> 00:04:44,330 horn players make it to Miami? 61 00:04:45,970 --> 00:04:47,830 Thank you, Mommy. You won't regret this. 62 00:04:49,230 --> 00:04:50,510 What won't your mother regret? 63 00:04:52,410 --> 00:04:57,130 Listen, Daddy, I know Mom was unfaithful, but I think the two of you 64 00:04:57,130 --> 00:04:59,330 this out if you can just sit down in the same room together. 65 00:05:00,520 --> 00:05:02,000 There's nothing to work out, eh? 66 00:05:02,540 --> 00:05:03,540 It's over. 67 00:05:03,680 --> 00:05:04,680 It's done. 68 00:05:05,220 --> 00:05:07,240 It's better than Castro's eyes. 69 00:05:08,680 --> 00:05:14,280 Dad, if it were really over, would she be flying here tomorrow night to see 70 00:05:15,160 --> 00:05:16,160 She's flying here? 71 00:05:16,540 --> 00:05:17,540 Yes. 72 00:05:18,140 --> 00:05:19,480 So you'll talk to her? 73 00:05:21,260 --> 00:05:22,260 Absolutely. 74 00:05:22,800 --> 00:05:23,800 Thank you, Daddy. 75 00:05:24,580 --> 00:05:28,400 It'll be a pleasure to tell her to her face that she's lying, cheating. 76 00:05:31,180 --> 00:05:36,620 Jezebel, who will burn in hell with her lover, boiling in a soup of their own 77 00:05:36,620 --> 00:05:37,620 treachery. 78 00:05:43,920 --> 00:05:44,420 This 79 00:05:44,420 --> 00:05:54,460 is 80 00:05:54,460 --> 00:05:55,460 awkward, huh? 81 00:05:55,940 --> 00:05:57,260 I'm here with my mom, too. 82 00:06:03,350 --> 00:06:04,350 Still awkward. 83 00:06:13,070 --> 00:06:14,070 Mom, you all right? 84 00:06:15,310 --> 00:06:16,630 No, no, not really. 85 00:06:17,730 --> 00:06:20,790 Come on, Mom, you're taking this too hard. Every woman goes through the 86 00:06:21,050 --> 00:06:23,650 There's nothing to be ashamed of. George, I got... 87 00:06:39,180 --> 00:06:40,200 How could you let this happen? 88 00:06:41,480 --> 00:06:44,500 Did Randy pressure you into doing something you were uncomfortable with? 89 00:06:46,100 --> 00:06:47,100 He did. 90 00:06:48,480 --> 00:06:52,820 He told me that it would be okay and that all the cool grandmas are doing it. 91 00:06:54,680 --> 00:06:58,200 I'm going to kill him for giving me this. This is why I didn't want you to 92 00:06:58,240 --> 00:06:59,240 Mom, you're too old. 93 00:06:59,480 --> 00:07:01,420 You should be closing up the shop by now. 94 00:07:03,860 --> 00:07:07,320 Well, the shop is still open and now there's a clean up and I'll... 95 00:07:16,110 --> 00:07:18,610 but you didn't complete some of the questions on your medical record. Would 96 00:07:18,610 --> 00:07:19,610 like to come back inside? 97 00:07:20,150 --> 00:07:21,290 No, let's do it out here. 98 00:07:22,350 --> 00:07:24,690 The last time I went in there, you guys gave me the dripsies. 99 00:07:27,110 --> 00:07:28,110 Your birth date. 100 00:07:28,470 --> 00:07:29,730 You only wrote a four. Give me. 101 00:07:33,710 --> 00:07:34,710 Okay. 102 00:07:35,050 --> 00:07:36,390 And your second pregnancy. 103 00:07:36,790 --> 00:07:38,130 Now, did you carry that to full term? 104 00:07:42,950 --> 00:07:43,950 Second pregnancy? 105 00:07:45,900 --> 00:07:47,160 Mom, what the hell is she talking about? 106 00:07:48,780 --> 00:07:49,780 You know what? 107 00:07:49,960 --> 00:07:52,540 I forgot to tell you you have a sister. Let's finish this inside. 108 00:07:58,740 --> 00:08:00,020 You're not going to believe this, Angie. 109 00:08:00,620 --> 00:08:04,100 I just found out my mom blew away a sister I never knew that I had. George. 110 00:08:04,120 --> 00:08:04,979 wait. 111 00:08:04,980 --> 00:08:05,980 It gets better. 112 00:08:06,100 --> 00:08:09,240 And the only way that I found out is because my mom has gonorrhea. 113 00:08:12,740 --> 00:08:14,640 George, this is Janet. 114 00:08:15,210 --> 00:08:16,210 She's a customer. 115 00:08:20,870 --> 00:08:23,890 I'm showing her sunscreens because she's taking a lovely trip to Mexico. 116 00:08:24,850 --> 00:08:27,250 How would you feel about taking an itchy old lady with you? 117 00:08:33,429 --> 00:08:35,669 Just take the sunscreens. I'll bill you later. 118 00:08:38,909 --> 00:08:40,210 What is going on? 119 00:08:40,809 --> 00:08:43,470 First you have a father and now you have a... 120 00:08:48,430 --> 00:08:50,090 You know what? Don't judge me. 121 00:08:50,930 --> 00:08:53,390 After Manny walked out on us, then I found out I was pregnant. 122 00:08:53,810 --> 00:08:57,010 I already had a two -year -old and no money. I did what I had to do. 123 00:08:58,150 --> 00:09:00,070 So you gave up my sister just like that? 124 00:09:01,730 --> 00:09:03,410 I made sure she went to a good family. 125 00:09:05,610 --> 00:09:06,730 Why didn't you do that for me? 126 00:09:16,330 --> 00:09:17,229 in touch with her? 127 00:09:17,230 --> 00:09:20,190 Did he even know about it? Oh, crap. Here we go. 128 00:09:21,030 --> 00:09:23,150 Mom, this is my sister. I want to know about her. 129 00:09:23,350 --> 00:09:25,130 What's the name of the family that adopted her? 130 00:09:25,830 --> 00:09:26,830 Let's see. 131 00:09:27,490 --> 00:09:28,490 Wait, wait. 132 00:09:29,110 --> 00:09:30,230 It was Mr. 133 00:09:30,490 --> 00:09:33,690 and Mrs. Mind -Your -Own -Business -You're -Lucky -I -Kept -You Berg. 134 00:09:36,270 --> 00:09:37,270 Names, Mom. 135 00:09:37,570 --> 00:09:38,570 God's sake. 136 00:09:39,730 --> 00:09:41,050 It was the Loramber. 137 00:09:43,370 --> 00:09:44,890 They used to live down the street. 138 00:09:46,109 --> 00:09:47,330 Does she know that she's adopted? 139 00:09:48,210 --> 00:09:50,490 How the hell should I know? They moved out of the neighborhood. 140 00:09:52,050 --> 00:09:55,430 I bet I can find them. No. Hey, you know what? You stay out of this. It's 141 00:09:55,430 --> 00:09:56,430 between me and your father. 142 00:09:58,210 --> 00:09:59,510 So Manny knows about this? 143 00:09:59,770 --> 00:10:01,650 No. It's between me and me. 144 00:10:01,870 --> 00:10:02,870 Leave it alone. 145 00:10:04,650 --> 00:10:05,650 Leave it alone. 146 00:10:17,930 --> 00:10:21,150 I got up early. I've been on the computer for hours searching for your 147 00:10:21,430 --> 00:10:24,870 I cross -checked every Lorenzo in California with the year your sister 148 00:10:24,870 --> 00:10:26,850 have been born, and I've narrowed it down to 20. 149 00:10:27,570 --> 00:10:31,830 Well, I slept in, took a long shower, read the sports page. 150 00:10:32,390 --> 00:10:35,090 Then I called my mom's neighbor and found out where the Lorenzos moved. 151 00:10:35,830 --> 00:10:36,930 That one right there. 152 00:10:39,610 --> 00:10:42,290 But look at you, surfing the web. You rock! 153 00:10:45,630 --> 00:10:46,630 Did you call? 154 00:10:47,240 --> 00:10:50,120 Well, not yet. I found out she works for the Valley School District. 155 00:10:50,320 --> 00:10:52,280 When her office opens, I'm gonna go down and meet her. 156 00:10:52,760 --> 00:10:53,940 What are you gonna say to her? 157 00:10:54,480 --> 00:10:57,640 I'm gonna play it by ear. I mean, I gotta figure out whether she knows she's 158 00:10:57,640 --> 00:10:59,300 adopted. I'll take it from there. 159 00:11:01,020 --> 00:11:02,340 But her name's Linda. 160 00:11:03,680 --> 00:11:07,160 Hey, give me five bucks, I'll let you watch my sister Linda change. 161 00:11:13,320 --> 00:11:14,760 That sounds nice, huh? 162 00:11:17,390 --> 00:11:20,310 Oye, mijita, can you iron this shirt? Sure, daddy. 163 00:11:21,010 --> 00:11:22,450 Did you trim your eyebrows? 164 00:11:22,950 --> 00:11:23,950 Oh, just one. 165 00:11:26,710 --> 00:11:28,050 Put an arch in it. 166 00:11:29,230 --> 00:11:33,530 Makes me look interested when people are talking as if I'm saying, is that so? 167 00:11:38,690 --> 00:11:41,350 You're going to dress up for mom tonight, aren't you? 168 00:11:41,910 --> 00:11:42,910 That's tonight? 169 00:11:43,090 --> 00:11:44,990 I completely forgot about it. 170 00:11:45,930 --> 00:11:47,250 Daddy, I know when you're lying. 171 00:11:47,730 --> 00:11:48,830 Is that so? 172 00:11:51,810 --> 00:11:56,910 All right, menina. I was rehearsing how I was going to tell her off, but then I 173 00:11:56,910 --> 00:11:57,789 got to thinking. 174 00:11:57,790 --> 00:11:59,930 A marriage takes two people. 175 00:12:00,690 --> 00:12:03,450 Maybe I worked too much. Maybe I neglected her. 176 00:12:03,690 --> 00:12:07,330 Maybe I didn't tell her enough how beautiful she was, or maybe I told her 177 00:12:07,330 --> 00:12:10,150 much. Maybe you annoyed her into another man's arms. 178 00:12:15,500 --> 00:12:19,280 a good feeling about this, Daddy. We are going to be a family again. 179 00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:25,880 And George, he's going to meet his sister for the first time in 35 years. 180 00:12:26,740 --> 00:12:28,360 This is so beautiful. 181 00:12:29,140 --> 00:12:33,200 My mom, my dad, you, your sister. 182 00:12:34,280 --> 00:12:36,440 Two families are coming together. 183 00:12:40,180 --> 00:12:41,540 All right, I'll catch you later. 184 00:12:50,540 --> 00:12:51,760 What's the matter, princess? 185 00:12:52,520 --> 00:12:54,280 You gain half a pound? 186 00:13:40,880 --> 00:13:42,880 Superintendent of the Valley School District. 187 00:13:43,960 --> 00:13:48,640 I normally don't take unscheduled meetings, but your cause hits close to 188 00:13:48,640 --> 00:13:50,520 because I'm dyslexic. 189 00:13:51,520 --> 00:13:52,520 You know, me too. 190 00:13:55,020 --> 00:13:56,820 You must run in your family, right? 191 00:13:57,340 --> 00:13:58,340 Actually not. 192 00:13:58,480 --> 00:14:03,340 I know it's usually genetic, but it's kind of a mystery where mine came from. 193 00:14:11,820 --> 00:14:12,820 The pictures are your family. 194 00:14:12,960 --> 00:14:15,180 Yeah. We're very close. 195 00:14:16,340 --> 00:14:17,580 Wow, that's a nice one. 196 00:14:17,800 --> 00:14:18,800 Oh, yeah. 197 00:14:19,180 --> 00:14:21,140 I miss Cupcake so much. 198 00:14:21,460 --> 00:14:23,040 He was my childhood pony. 199 00:14:23,360 --> 00:14:24,360 You had a pony? 200 00:14:30,880 --> 00:14:32,740 I had to swim in a trash can. 201 00:14:34,720 --> 00:14:35,720 What? 202 00:14:36,100 --> 00:14:37,620 Oh, I'm sorry. Gulf War. 203 00:14:49,200 --> 00:14:50,280 What can I do for your organization? 204 00:14:50,760 --> 00:14:53,940 Well, I thought that since we're both Latinos and this is an issue... Well, 205 00:14:54,020 --> 00:14:58,040 actually, I'm not Latina. I'm Italian, but I get that all the time. 206 00:14:59,420 --> 00:15:00,800 You think you're Italian. 207 00:15:01,700 --> 00:15:04,580 I don't think I'm Italian. I am Italian. 208 00:15:05,640 --> 00:15:08,860 Siciliana. We visit Sicily every year. 209 00:15:09,100 --> 00:15:13,460 We go to this little church where my mother prays to her patron saint for 210 00:15:13,460 --> 00:15:14,600 helping to conceive me. 211 00:15:15,600 --> 00:15:17,500 So this Italian woman... 212 00:15:19,570 --> 00:15:21,030 She gave birth to you? 213 00:15:21,670 --> 00:15:22,670 Yes. 214 00:15:23,270 --> 00:15:25,190 That's why I call her Mom. 215 00:15:28,990 --> 00:15:34,530 The reason I ask is that a lot of dyslexic kids had unhappy childhoods. 216 00:15:34,530 --> 00:15:35,950 ever wish that you had different parents? 217 00:15:36,410 --> 00:15:40,610 Never. My parents gave me so much love and encouragement. 218 00:15:41,130 --> 00:15:43,350 My mom even quit work to tutor me. 219 00:15:44,750 --> 00:15:46,250 I'm really lucky. 220 00:15:56,880 --> 00:15:58,520 Well, I think I've taken enough of your time. 221 00:15:58,840 --> 00:16:00,200 But what about lad? 222 00:16:01,440 --> 00:16:03,300 Oh, forget about it. Let it go. 223 00:16:04,480 --> 00:16:05,480 What was that? 224 00:16:06,320 --> 00:16:08,300 Oh, it's for a dyslexia newsletter. 225 00:16:09,540 --> 00:16:10,540 It's all pictures. 226 00:16:18,440 --> 00:16:20,500 You take care of yourself. 227 00:16:26,890 --> 00:16:28,010 And watch your blood pressure. 228 00:16:41,190 --> 00:16:42,570 I got your message. 229 00:16:43,270 --> 00:16:45,150 Why should it work today, baby doll? 230 00:16:45,350 --> 00:16:47,290 You disgusting piece of crap! 231 00:16:49,670 --> 00:16:51,310 Oh, we're playing that game. 232 00:16:52,130 --> 00:16:54,610 All right, you dirty little garden gnome! 233 00:17:01,800 --> 00:17:04,200 What are you talking about? You gave me the clap. 234 00:17:04,720 --> 00:17:06,760 Now, who have you been whoring around with, huh? 235 00:17:07,079 --> 00:17:08,180 Just you, Benny. 236 00:17:08,420 --> 00:17:09,420 Just you. 237 00:17:12,400 --> 00:17:15,359 You're the best thing that ever happened to me. Why would I do anything to mess 238 00:17:15,359 --> 00:17:16,299 that up? 239 00:17:16,300 --> 00:17:18,119 I swear, I didn't know I had it. 240 00:17:19,060 --> 00:17:23,040 Well, the tramp you were with before me must have given you a little going -away 241 00:17:23,040 --> 00:17:24,040 present. 242 00:17:26,619 --> 00:17:28,280 Benny, I'm so sorry. 243 00:17:28,680 --> 00:17:30,380 You know what? Just tell it to the clinic. 244 00:17:30,960 --> 00:17:32,820 You're going to be taking penicillin for two weeks. 245 00:17:34,340 --> 00:17:35,540 Maybe this is a blessing. 246 00:17:36,840 --> 00:17:41,400 I mean, we can just talk and get to know each other and really open up. 247 00:17:44,300 --> 00:17:48,700 Right. Or maybe you can call me when you finish your meds and burn the blanket 248 00:17:48,700 --> 00:17:49,700 in the back of your truck. 249 00:17:52,120 --> 00:17:53,280 I'm going to miss you, baby. 250 00:17:53,480 --> 00:17:54,480 Back off! 251 00:18:01,800 --> 00:18:03,600 Mommy's going to be able to resist you. 252 00:18:05,300 --> 00:18:11,900 I think you're taking this a little too seriously, Vic. Why don't you 253 00:18:11,900 --> 00:18:16,340 take some of that cologne and put it on a rag, pop it over her mouth and drag 254 00:18:16,340 --> 00:18:17,340 her away, huh? 255 00:18:22,280 --> 00:18:24,820 Perhaps I should air myself out in the backyard. 256 00:18:39,560 --> 00:18:40,560 What happened? Did you meet your sister? 257 00:18:40,960 --> 00:18:43,400 What? I told you to leave it alone. 258 00:18:43,740 --> 00:18:44,740 Well, I didn't. 259 00:18:45,420 --> 00:18:46,420 And I met her. 260 00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:49,140 And she's very happy and she's very successful. 261 00:18:50,420 --> 00:18:53,140 So I guess those two minutes she spent with you didn't ruin her. 262 00:18:57,740 --> 00:18:58,940 When are we gonna meet her? 263 00:19:01,220 --> 00:19:02,220 We're not. 264 00:19:03,320 --> 00:19:06,240 She doesn't know she's adopted, Angie, and I'm not gonna tell her. Good. 265 00:19:07,980 --> 00:19:09,160 Took a picture of her, though. 266 00:19:11,480 --> 00:19:13,580 Oh, she's got big eyes. 267 00:19:14,820 --> 00:19:17,260 What? I kind of surprised her with the camera. 268 00:19:22,760 --> 00:19:23,760 Mom, 269 00:19:24,500 --> 00:19:25,500 you want to see? No. 270 00:19:27,040 --> 00:19:28,040 Oh, I got it. 271 00:19:49,020 --> 00:19:52,640 You are being so selfish. How can you do this to Daddy and to me? 272 00:19:53,720 --> 00:19:56,200 No, I don't understand, and I don't want to understand. 273 00:20:01,020 --> 00:20:02,080 Someone smell me. 274 00:20:14,350 --> 00:20:15,350 Mom just called. 275 00:20:16,410 --> 00:20:17,430 She's not coming. 276 00:20:19,470 --> 00:20:20,470 Oh. 277 00:20:22,990 --> 00:20:28,090 Hey, guys, 278 00:20:28,910 --> 00:20:30,450 look at the blanket Randy threw out. 279 00:20:35,310 --> 00:20:38,690 TGIF continues with a show the New York Times calls terrific. 280 00:20:38,890 --> 00:20:41,210 A new Marriage of the Kellys is next on ABC. 281 00:20:45,550 --> 00:20:47,050 You are doing it all wrong. 282 00:20:48,050 --> 00:20:50,130 Listen and learn. 283 00:20:50,610 --> 00:20:52,490 Don't play it like you're killing a bug. 284 00:20:54,730 --> 00:21:01,730 Think of the conga as a woman and then play him like you're making love 285 00:21:01,730 --> 00:21:02,730 to her.