1
00:00:00,934 --> 00:00:04,166
So, coasting time
is officially over.

2
00:00:04,605 --> 00:00:07,803
Big changes are coming,
and they're coming fast.

3
00:00:08,509 --> 00:00:10,102
If you don't like 'em,

4
00:00:10,177 --> 00:00:12,669
this is called a door,
you can walk
right through it.

5
00:00:12,779 --> 00:00:14,338
All right? I'm not
here to be your friend.

6
00:00:14,715 --> 00:00:16,911
I like my life
outside of this place.

7
00:00:16,984 --> 00:00:18,919
I live to leave at 5:00.

8
00:00:19,686 --> 00:00:21,518
Change number one, Darryl.

9
00:00:21,588 --> 00:00:25,923
Per your request,
the company is sending you
to business school at night.

10
00:00:25,993 --> 00:00:27,825
Full ride, deal with it.

11
00:00:28,729 --> 00:00:31,198
Seriously?
Stone-cold seriously.

12
00:00:31,431 --> 00:00:35,596
They are trying
to figure me out,
and I don't like it.

13
00:00:37,271 --> 00:00:41,265
Once they figure me out,
they start to tell me
what I want to hear.

14
00:00:41,341 --> 00:00:43,936
And I need to
quickly figure out
who's a good worker,

15
00:00:44,011 --> 00:00:46,913
and who is simply
a good mind reader.

16
00:00:47,314 --> 00:00:50,045
Because as soon
as I'm hearing
what I wanna hear,

17
00:00:50,150 --> 00:00:51,880
I'm not gonna care.

18
00:00:52,252 --> 00:00:54,221
Change two, Toby.
You're getting a new chair.

19
00:00:55,455 --> 00:00:57,321
Thanks.
Don't thank me.

20
00:00:57,558 --> 00:00:59,527
Hey, don't thank me, guy.

21
00:00:59,927 --> 00:01:01,020
Okay?

22
00:01:01,094 --> 00:01:02,357
I don't care
if you like it.

23
00:01:02,429 --> 00:01:05,365
These sound like good ideas,
why wouldn't we like them?

24
00:01:05,465 --> 00:01:08,731
I don't care what
your favorite flavor is.

25
00:01:08,802 --> 00:01:11,499
Here's a bowl of ice cream,
you either like it
or you don't.

26
00:01:11,905 --> 00:01:14,101
That's my attitude
right now in this room,

27
00:01:14,174 --> 00:01:17,440
that's my attitude on
"Ice Cream Thursdays."

28
00:01:18,278 --> 00:01:19,610
All right?

29
00:01:19,980 --> 00:01:21,175
Clear? Any questions?

30
00:01:21,515 --> 00:01:23,381
This all sounds great to me.

31
00:01:27,254 --> 00:01:30,918
But I could see
how some people might
think that they're bad.

32
00:01:32,459 --> 00:01:34,018
I don't know what to think.

33
00:01:34,895 --> 00:01:36,295
That is a...

34
00:01:36,930 --> 00:01:38,956
An astute observation, Kevin.

35
00:01:39,032 --> 00:01:40,796
Kev's got me pegged.

36
00:02:15,035 --> 00:02:17,197
It blows away
Vermont in the fall.

37
00:02:17,270 --> 00:02:18,533
DARRYL: Snap, for real?

38
00:02:18,605 --> 00:02:19,800
DEANGELO: Not even...
Good morning, Deangelo.

39
00:02:19,873 --> 00:02:21,034
Hold on, Pam.
Okay.

40
00:02:21,108 --> 00:02:22,474
And if you're really serious,

41
00:02:23,343 --> 00:02:24,470
you should go in the spring.

42
00:02:24,778 --> 00:02:26,644
'Cause of the flowers.
No.

43
00:02:26,713 --> 00:02:29,444
Because the entire
state smells like earth.

44
00:02:29,516 --> 00:02:30,609
Dogwoods,
or just the earth?

45
00:02:31,351 --> 00:02:32,341
Yes, Pam.

46
00:02:32,719 --> 00:02:35,518
Hey, well, good morning.
I think I have good
news for you today.

47
00:02:35,589 --> 00:02:38,491
I found your new
executive assistant,
my friend, Carla.

48
00:02:38,625 --> 00:02:40,150
She's got
great experience,

49
00:02:40,227 --> 00:02:42,219
we even considered
making her Cece's godmother,

50
00:02:42,295 --> 00:02:43,661
but she had this
boyfriend at the time.

51
00:02:43,730 --> 00:02:45,255
But here's her resume.
Put it with the rest.

52
00:02:45,365 --> 00:02:46,458
Okay.


53
00:02:46,967 --> 00:02:48,435
Hey, dudes.
Hey.

54
00:02:48,502 --> 00:02:49,561
Hey.

55
00:02:49,770 --> 00:02:52,035
Oh, my God, he hates me.
No, he doesn't.

56
00:02:52,105 --> 00:02:53,869
You just get so nervous
and hyper around him.

57
00:02:53,940 --> 00:02:55,738
I know.
Every time
there's a silence,

58
00:02:55,809 --> 00:02:57,641
your brain's, like...

59
00:02:57,744 --> 00:02:59,838
Is that what he tells you
at your little
inner circle meetings?

60
00:02:59,913 --> 00:03:01,848
Careful,
there is no inner circle.

61
00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:05,451
Oh, there is
an inner circle.
Oh, yeah.

62
00:03:06,319 --> 00:03:07,878
There is no inner circle.

63
00:03:08,221 --> 00:03:12,386
<i>Deangelo just prefers</i>
<i>to delegate a few</i>
<i>things to a few guys.</i>

64
00:03:12,659 --> 00:03:16,187
Jim only says that
because he's in
the inner circle.

65
00:03:16,997 --> 00:03:21,196
I also say that
because I am also
in the inner circle.

66
00:03:22,602 --> 00:03:23,865
Did you get that, ma?

67
00:03:23,937 --> 00:03:28,466
Your boy, Kevin Malone,
is in the inner circle,

68
00:03:31,878 --> 00:03:33,642
which doesn't exist.

69
00:03:37,350 --> 00:03:39,285
There he is.
Got you coffee.

70
00:03:39,352 --> 00:03:42,254
Oh, wow, thank you,
that was so kind of you.

71
00:03:45,158 --> 00:03:46,387
Not a coffee guy,
I take it, huh?

72
00:03:46,460 --> 00:03:48,429
It's just that I
own the coffee shop.

73
00:03:48,495 --> 00:03:51,192
So once you've seen
sausage being made,

74
00:03:51,498 --> 00:03:53,763
all you wanna do
is make sausage
'cause it's so much fun.

75
00:03:53,834 --> 00:03:58,295
Listen, I've got a sixer,
<i>Automatic for the People</i>
on the jukebox.

76
00:03:58,872 --> 00:04:01,103
Let's hit the park
after sundown, come on.

77
00:04:01,174 --> 00:04:02,267
Pick up some sausage
if you want.

78
00:04:02,709 --> 00:04:06,737
I think you'll find
what you're looking for
over there.

79
00:04:11,051 --> 00:04:14,021
No matter how many times
I reach out to Dwight,

80
00:04:14,087 --> 00:04:17,023
he doesn't seem to want
anything to do with me.

81
00:04:17,124 --> 00:04:19,525
It reminds me of
my relationship
with my son.

82
00:04:19,593 --> 00:04:21,789
Except there,
I'm the Dwight.

83
00:04:22,496 --> 00:04:23,725
Who's the biggest
client in the state?

84
00:04:24,331 --> 00:04:25,959
I say we go get 'em,
whatever it takes.

85
00:04:26,299 --> 00:04:27,494
What do you guys say?

86
00:04:28,135 --> 00:04:29,296
KEVIN: Yes.
Right?

87
00:04:29,369 --> 00:04:33,067
DARRYL: Let's do it.
Or my other idea,
50,000 tiny clients.

88
00:04:33,140 --> 00:04:35,939
Yeah, I say that
we just go for it.

89
00:04:37,377 --> 00:04:38,902
Is that ball
lighter than usual?

90
00:04:39,045 --> 00:04:40,138
Is that
a Chinatown knockoff?

91
00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:41,373
That's Toys "R" Us,
I think.

92
00:04:41,448 --> 00:04:42,711
No, that's definitely
a knockoff.

93
00:04:42,783 --> 00:04:44,547
You can feel
the center of gravity
is off.

94
00:04:44,618 --> 00:04:46,086
Feel that,
what do you think?

95
00:04:46,219 --> 00:04:47,710
Oh, yeah, totally.

96
00:04:47,788 --> 00:04:48,949
Jim, you got
ripped off big time.

97
00:04:49,089 --> 00:04:50,284
Deangelo!

98
00:04:51,424 --> 00:04:53,256
See what I did there?
That's what you need to do.

99
00:04:53,326 --> 00:04:55,852
Just add a little English.
The British are coming.

100
00:04:55,929 --> 00:04:57,329
KEVIN: Yes.
DEANGELO: Deangelo's open!

101
00:04:57,931 --> 00:05:00,560
Hey, Ry.
Your department's
killing it, baby.

102
00:05:00,634 --> 00:05:02,865
Hey! My pleasure,
my treasure.

103
00:05:03,170 --> 00:05:04,160
Keep it up.

104
00:05:04,271 --> 00:05:09,175
The problem with
having it, or,
the X factor,

105
00:05:09,242 --> 00:05:11,336
or whatever it is
you wanna call it,

106
00:05:11,411 --> 00:05:14,609
is that
it's impossible to
put into words

107
00:05:15,382 --> 00:05:17,977
what you're
bringing to the table.

108
00:05:18,051 --> 00:05:20,987
So, to make things
simpler for Deangelo,
I just, without lying,

109
00:05:21,054 --> 00:05:24,024
strongly implied that
I'm Kelly's supervisor.

110
00:05:24,090 --> 00:05:25,786
It's not even that
much of a stretch.

111
00:05:25,926 --> 00:05:27,656
She pretty much
does whatever I say.

112
00:05:27,761 --> 00:05:30,287
What?
I'm sorry,
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

113
00:05:30,363 --> 00:05:32,127
Why should I pretend
that you are my boss?

114
00:05:32,199 --> 00:05:34,065
Because what
would you have done
in that situation, Kelly?

115
00:05:34,134 --> 00:05:36,763
I'll tell you what I
would have done for you.
I'd lie for you.

116
00:05:36,837 --> 00:05:39,102
Yeah,
but you lie all the time.
You lie for no reason.

117
00:05:39,272 --> 00:05:40,570
Ryan, you just
like to lie.

118
00:05:40,774 --> 00:05:41,901
I'd die for you, too.

119
00:05:42,909 --> 00:05:43,899
You really would?

120
00:05:44,244 --> 00:05:47,703
Hey, Kelly Kapoor,
if I don't have those
call logs on my desk,

121
00:05:47,781 --> 00:05:51,343
we're just gonna
have to evaluate
your future at the company.

122
00:05:52,152 --> 00:05:53,711
Sure thing, Mr. Howard.

123
00:05:54,187 --> 00:05:55,746
Glad he's not my boss.

124
00:05:57,991 --> 00:05:58,981
You're the best, thank you.

125
00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:06,257
You know, I have a cousin
who cracked the secret formula

126
00:06:06,333 --> 00:06:08,495
for a certain popular cola
that I shall not name.

127
00:06:09,102 --> 00:06:12,595
So I've never
had to buy it.
True story.

128
00:06:12,672 --> 00:06:14,072
I just drink
my cousin's.

129
00:06:14,140 --> 00:06:16,473
Congratulations
on your one cousin.

130
00:06:16,610 --> 00:06:18,977
I have 70, each one
better than the last.

131
00:06:20,013 --> 00:06:23,677
You know what?
Straight up,
why don't you like me?

132
00:06:23,850 --> 00:06:27,082
I'm just not a suck up
like everyone else
around here, okay?

133
00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:30,846
I do my job well,
so why don't you
just leave me alone,

134
00:06:31,124 --> 00:06:33,286
and let me do it. Okay?

135
00:06:34,594 --> 00:06:35,892
Oh, no.

136
00:06:35,962 --> 00:06:36,952
What...
Okay?

137
00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:39,461
I'm gonna win you over.
No, you're not.

138
00:06:39,532 --> 00:06:40,522
Yes, I am.
No.

139
00:06:40,634 --> 00:06:41,624
Oh, yes.
No.

140
00:06:41,701 --> 00:06:42,691
Yes.
No.

141
00:06:42,769 --> 00:06:43,759
Yes!
No!

142
00:06:43,837 --> 00:06:45,100
Yes! Yes!
No! No!

143
00:06:45,171 --> 00:06:48,403
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!

144
00:06:48,475 --> 00:06:50,444
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes...

145
00:06:50,977 --> 00:06:52,001
Uh-oh.

146
00:06:52,078 --> 00:06:54,070
This former
administrative assistant

147
00:06:54,214 --> 00:06:56,240
misspelled "administrative,"
and "assistant."

148
00:06:56,683 --> 00:06:58,174
The winner.

149
00:06:58,251 --> 00:07:03,155
Under special skills,
Mr. Don Finer put juggling.

150
00:07:03,356 --> 00:07:04,551


151
00:07:05,558 --> 00:07:07,754
What's wrong with juggling,
Darryl?

152
00:07:07,894 --> 00:07:09,556
I'm a big juggler.

153
00:07:09,729 --> 00:07:12,198
I actually perform
a motivational
juggling routine.

154
00:07:12,532 --> 00:07:14,330
Seriously?
Oh, yeah.

155
00:07:15,535 --> 00:07:17,697
I'd do it for you
here, but...

156
00:07:17,771 --> 00:07:20,297
What would you
say this room is?
300 square feet? 320?

157
00:07:20,740 --> 00:07:23,175
Three-twenty,
just free-balling it.

158
00:07:23,677 --> 00:07:25,543
It's a little cramped.

159
00:07:26,146 --> 00:07:28,945
How many square
feet out there?
Seventeen, eighteen hundo?

160
00:07:29,015 --> 00:07:30,779
Oh, I think it's 18 hundo.

161
00:07:31,952 --> 00:07:33,284
GABE: Give or take.

162
00:07:33,753 --> 00:07:35,153
Sorry, gang.

163
00:07:35,255 --> 00:07:38,419
I thought my juggling stuff
was in the trunk of
my car, but it's not.

164
00:07:38,491 --> 00:07:40,653
Oh, no,
do you think
it was stolen?

165
00:07:40,727 --> 00:07:42,093
ANDY: I got you
covered, boss.

166
00:07:42,162 --> 00:07:44,859
Used to play with
the parabolas myself.

167
00:07:45,665 --> 00:07:48,328
Got some extra balls.
Hey! Oh! 

168
00:07:48,668 --> 00:07:52,662
Sorry, I never touch
another juggler's
instruments.

169
00:07:54,341 --> 00:07:56,810
You know, we're all here,
I've got the music cued.

170
00:07:56,876 --> 00:07:59,072
Why don't I just do my routine
without the juggling balls?

171
00:07:59,145 --> 00:08:00,545



172
00:08:00,680 --> 00:08:03,912
Prepare to go
into the danger zone.

173
00:08:08,855 --> 00:08:10,881
Oh, wow,
you weren't kidding.
No, never.

174
00:08:12,258 --> 00:08:17,322
Can someone please
throw me a fifth ball?
If you dare.

175
00:08:18,898 --> 00:08:20,161
Incoming!

176
00:08:20,800 --> 00:08:21,824
And we're on.

177
00:08:22,969 --> 00:08:25,336
Remember,
nothing's impossible.

178
00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:41,181
Phyllis, where's Phyllis?

179
00:08:41,554 --> 00:08:42,578
Here.

180
00:08:43,990 --> 00:08:45,219
Do you believe
in me, Phyllis?

181
00:08:45,291 --> 00:08:46,987
Yes.
'Cause I believe in you.

182
00:08:47,060 --> 00:08:48,619
Oh, okay.

183
00:08:53,066 --> 00:08:54,056
Feel that connection?

184
00:08:55,101 --> 00:08:58,094
Don't move your head,
please, thank you.

185
00:09:00,340 --> 00:09:02,138
Big hand for Phyllis.

186
00:09:02,709 --> 00:09:03,938
That took a lot of guts.

187
00:09:11,985 --> 00:09:13,578
I'm Deangelo Vickers.

188
00:09:13,653 --> 00:09:15,679
Thank you so much.
Hope you learned something.

189
00:09:16,022 --> 00:09:17,217


190
00:09:18,658 --> 00:09:21,287
He didn't drop
a single ball.

191
00:09:22,829 --> 00:09:23,819
Look.

192
00:09:24,064 --> 00:09:26,056
I'm juggling eggs
and bowling balls.

193
00:09:26,666 --> 00:09:28,100
I'm juggling with one hand.

194
00:09:29,102 --> 00:09:30,092
No hands.

195
00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:34,807
What could he
possibly stand to gain
from a fake juggling routine?

196
00:09:34,874 --> 00:09:38,208
What could he
possibly stand to gain
from a real juggling routine?

197
00:09:38,278 --> 00:09:40,110
How can you
keep defending him?

198
00:09:40,246 --> 00:09:42,442
He's good at his job,
and I like working for him.

199
00:09:42,515 --> 00:09:45,212
Of course you do, Jim.
You're a man.

200
00:09:45,652 --> 00:09:47,553
Deangelo is a huge sexist.

201
00:09:47,620 --> 00:09:48,918
Whoa, whoa, whoa.

202
00:09:48,988 --> 00:09:51,480
I think if he was sexist,
I'd be able to tell.

203
00:09:51,691 --> 00:09:54,058
I took a crap load
of women's studies
courses at Cornell.

204
00:09:54,494 --> 00:09:56,793
And I wrote my
own companion piece
to <i>The Vagina Monologues,</i>

205
00:09:56,863 --> 00:09:59,628
called <i>The Penis Apologies.</i>
So I know a thing or two.

206
00:09:59,699 --> 00:10:00,928
Okay, then how about

207
00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:02,628
I'm the head of
the accounting department,

208
00:10:02,702 --> 00:10:04,603
but he only ever
talks to Kevin.

209
00:10:04,671 --> 00:10:07,163
What about Pam and Kelly?
Also department heads,

210
00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:08,833
but has he ever
met with you?

211
00:10:08,908 --> 00:10:10,672
Or even asked you
to do anything?

212
00:10:15,381 --> 00:10:17,213
How could I not see it?
You're so right.

213
00:10:17,417 --> 00:10:18,885
Why don't you
talk to him about it?

214
00:10:18,952 --> 00:10:22,081
And say what?
"Hey, Deangelo, are you shy
or just a sexist?"

215
00:10:22,188 --> 00:10:24,453
Why don't you just tell him
how his actions
are being perceived

216
00:10:24,524 --> 00:10:25,856
by the women
in this office?

217
00:10:25,925 --> 00:10:26,915
Mmm-hmm.

218
00:10:27,393 --> 00:10:30,989
And if he doesn't listen,
then he can kiss
his penis goodbye.

219
00:10:31,264 --> 00:10:33,324
Snip-snip.
Am I right, girls?

220
00:10:35,034 --> 00:10:37,060
Hey, you got a second?

221
00:10:37,303 --> 00:10:39,795
Yeah, I got tons of time,
this job's a joke.

222
00:10:39,873 --> 00:10:40,863
So what's up?

223
00:10:42,575 --> 00:10:45,602
Really, it's nothing.
I was just talking
to Angela.

224
00:10:45,879 --> 00:10:46,869
And she was...

225
00:10:47,247 --> 00:10:49,739
Hey. Saw Jim come in,
are we meeting?

226
00:10:49,949 --> 00:10:51,645
Yeah, sure,
let's make it a meeting.

227
00:10:51,718 --> 00:10:53,050
If it's all right,
can I just have, like,

228
00:10:53,186 --> 00:10:54,518
one minute alone,
just to go over...

229
00:10:54,587 --> 00:10:57,455
What's the big secret?
Why are you even whispering?

230
00:10:57,524 --> 00:10:58,958
Come on, it's the guys.

231
00:10:59,092 --> 00:11:00,560
I know, just the guys.

232
00:11:01,027 --> 00:11:04,191
Well, maybe that's
part of the problem,
I think.

233
00:11:04,464 --> 00:11:07,434
So what happened was
I was talking to some of
the department heads.

234
00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:08,968
Right.

235
00:11:09,102 --> 00:11:11,230
Some of the female
department heads.
Uh-oh.

236
00:11:11,337 --> 00:11:12,327
Yeah.
JIM: Right?

237
00:11:12,405 --> 00:11:15,000
Hot.
Maybe there's
a vibe out there

238
00:11:15,441 --> 00:11:17,205
with certain members
of the office

239
00:11:17,277 --> 00:11:22,648
that you are
a little sexist, or...

240
00:11:22,916 --> 00:11:24,748
Damn!
Whoa!

241
00:11:24,817 --> 00:11:27,912
Wait.
Are you serious?
Who feels this way?

242
00:11:28,855 --> 00:11:31,188
Oh, like, nobody,
it was...
Pam?

243
00:11:31,257 --> 00:11:32,418
Was it Pam?
KEVIN: Oh, my gosh.

244
00:11:32,492 --> 00:11:34,654
That sounds like Pam.
You know how she gets.

245
00:11:34,727 --> 00:11:37,526
Deangelo,
she can get really bitchy.

246
00:11:38,198 --> 00:11:39,860
KEVIN: 
Kevin...
DEANGELO: Guys.

247
00:11:40,033 --> 00:11:42,559
Hold on.
Doesn't matter who, okay?

248
00:11:43,469 --> 00:11:45,370
I'm just happy
that Jim brought it
to my attention,

249
00:11:45,438 --> 00:11:47,373
because, honestly,
I had no idea.

250
00:11:48,174 --> 00:11:49,938
That's awesome.
Thank you.

251
00:11:50,310 --> 00:11:52,905
Mom, Ryan's taking us
out to dinner tonight.

252
00:11:52,979 --> 00:11:55,813
No, no,
he's not gonna stand us up
like he did last time.

253
00:11:55,882 --> 00:11:57,578
He won't ever
stand us up again.

254
00:11:57,650 --> 00:12:00,017
So I am the new
Customer Service
supervisor...

255
00:12:00,086 --> 00:12:01,782
When Deangelo's around.

256
00:12:02,922 --> 00:12:06,188
And I'm also a very
dutiful boyfriend when...

257
00:12:06,259 --> 00:12:08,626
All the time.
All the time.

258
00:12:09,062 --> 00:12:11,497
Erin, do you mind
running down to the lobby

259
00:12:11,564 --> 00:12:13,999
and bringing up my brand new
executive assistant?

260
00:12:14,133 --> 00:12:15,863
Absolutely.
Hey, who'd you
end up hiring?

261
00:12:16,402 --> 00:12:17,461
I'm glad you asked, Jim.

262
00:12:18,171 --> 00:12:19,730
Because, apparently,
there's a rumor

263
00:12:19,806 --> 00:12:21,468
running around here
that I'm a sexist.

264
00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:22,868
Mmm-hmm.

265
00:12:22,976 --> 00:12:27,380
I can't work here
effectively if you guys think
I'm something that I'm not.

266
00:12:27,447 --> 00:12:28,574
I'm not a sexist.

267
00:12:30,350 --> 00:12:32,979
Raise your hand if
you have a vagina.

268
00:12:40,727 --> 00:12:43,993
Raise your hand
if someone you love
has a vagina.

269
00:12:44,897 --> 00:12:47,890
Yeah, yeah, okay.
Just about everyone.

270
00:12:48,701 --> 00:12:49,999
What about Deangelo's hand?

271
00:12:50,937 --> 00:12:53,702
Oh, wow.
He's got 'em both up.

272
00:12:54,974 --> 00:12:55,964
Yeah.

273
00:12:57,076 --> 00:12:58,066
Uh-huh.

274
00:12:58,745 --> 00:13:00,543
Yeah. So it bothers me,

275
00:13:01,481 --> 00:13:04,076
when I hear that
there's gossip around here

276
00:13:04,150 --> 00:13:06,176
that I treat women
lesser than men.

277
00:13:07,420 --> 00:13:08,615
Okay? Frankly,

278
00:13:09,055 --> 00:13:11,957
we all look
a little ridiculous
when that happens.

279
00:13:12,025 --> 00:13:13,391
I'm not a feminist,

280
00:13:13,760 --> 00:13:15,854
but I think that
the men in this office

281
00:13:15,928 --> 00:13:18,261
are being given chances
that the women aren't.

282
00:13:18,665 --> 00:13:19,655
Dwight.

283
00:13:20,366 --> 00:13:21,356
What's your take?

284
00:13:21,501 --> 00:13:22,491
What's the argument here?

285
00:13:22,568 --> 00:13:25,732
NBA, WNBA. One is a sport,
one is a joke.

286
00:13:26,005 --> 00:13:27,496
I love sports, I love jokes.

287
00:13:28,441 --> 00:13:30,467
Room for all.
Man, you're smart.

288
00:13:31,744 --> 00:13:34,475
Oh, hey! Hi. Hello.
Hi.

289
00:13:34,647 --> 00:13:39,779
Welcome. Everyone,
I'd like you to please
welcome Jordan Garfield.

290
00:13:41,120 --> 00:13:42,748
This is everyone.
Hello.

291
00:13:43,022 --> 00:13:45,253
So, Jordan,
where did you work before?

292
00:13:46,192 --> 00:13:47,216
A law office?

293
00:13:47,293 --> 00:13:48,283
No, Anthropologie.

294
00:13:49,495 --> 00:13:52,226
"We don't have
this and that size."
Pretty lame.

295
00:13:52,498 --> 00:13:54,592
Lame? You worked
at Anthropologie?

296
00:13:54,701 --> 00:13:56,329
Yeah.
That's, like,
my dream job.

297
00:13:56,402 --> 00:13:57,392
How did you even
get that job?

298
00:13:57,704 --> 00:13:59,434
Well, I...
You chose this job
over that job?

299
00:13:59,505 --> 00:14:01,030
Okay, okay,
back to work, Kelly.

300
00:14:01,107 --> 00:14:03,076
We have a lot to
get done today.

301
00:14:03,643 --> 00:14:06,738
So, is this your
first office job then?

302
00:14:07,180 --> 00:14:08,375
Yeah.
Yup.

303
00:14:08,915 --> 00:14:11,248
Wow.
No corporate
experience whatsoever.

304
00:14:11,517 --> 00:14:13,577
I didn't want anyone
with any bad habits.

305
00:14:13,653 --> 00:14:14,643
KEVIN: Nice.

306
00:14:16,956 --> 00:14:18,788
Jim, are you coming?

307
00:14:19,459 --> 00:14:21,291
Oh, yeah, did he text us?
KEVIN: Yeah.

308
00:14:25,365 --> 00:14:26,389
No!

309
00:14:28,134 --> 00:14:29,295
Jim, what are you doing?
Get in there.

310
00:14:29,469 --> 00:14:31,904
This is not
the time to take a stand,
at least he likes one of us.

311
00:14:31,971 --> 00:14:33,769
He didn't text me.
Yes!

312
00:14:34,540 --> 00:14:35,564
I'm in.

313
00:14:35,675 --> 00:14:37,303
Andy, what are you doing?

314
00:14:38,244 --> 00:14:40,804
I'm going in into
the belly of the beast.

315
00:14:41,381 --> 00:14:43,907
I'm gonna infiltrate
and change from within.

316
00:14:46,152 --> 00:14:47,484
What's up, man cave?

317
00:14:47,553 --> 00:14:48,543


318
00:14:51,124 --> 00:14:52,592
Just go in.
Hmm?

319
00:14:52,825 --> 00:14:54,350
Just go in,
he probably just forgot
to text you.

320
00:14:54,727 --> 00:14:56,753
Internally for office use,

321
00:14:58,064 --> 00:14:59,965
where do we get
our paper from?

322
00:15:00,032 --> 00:15:01,159
Do we go and...

323
00:15:02,101 --> 00:15:03,125
Do we have that system?
Don't worry,

324
00:15:03,202 --> 00:15:04,226
the first day's
always the hardest.

325
00:15:04,370 --> 00:15:05,394
Yeah.

326
00:15:09,275 --> 00:15:10,368
Hey, Jim.
Yeah?

327
00:15:11,911 --> 00:15:13,174
Can I help you?
Nope.

328
00:15:14,447 --> 00:15:15,437
Just...

329
00:15:23,156 --> 00:15:24,146
Okay.

330
00:15:39,038 --> 00:15:41,974
So, he kicked you out
of the inner circle, huh?

331
00:15:42,041 --> 00:15:44,272
No, there is no
inner circle.

332
00:15:46,412 --> 00:15:47,402
Dwight?

333
00:15:47,814 --> 00:15:50,283
Deangelo wanted me to ask you
if there's anything
I could help you with?

334
00:15:50,616 --> 00:15:51,606
Really?

335
00:15:52,485 --> 00:15:53,475
Anything?

336
00:15:53,920 --> 00:15:55,286
Do you need anything?

337
00:15:55,488 --> 00:15:56,478
Deangelo?

338
00:15:56,823 --> 00:15:59,292
Tell your whore
to leave me alone!

339
00:16:00,860 --> 00:16:05,525
Okay, I do not
wanna waste your time,
so I will keep this brief!

340
00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:08,230
Now, word on the street
is Mercy Hospital,

341
00:16:08,801 --> 00:16:09,791
back on the market.

342
00:16:09,902 --> 00:16:12,428
Deangelo would like
you to put together
a sales pitch for next week.

343
00:16:12,572 --> 00:16:16,509
Deangelo has also
recently learned about
the Barnacle Project,

344
00:16:17,510 --> 00:16:20,036
which is
a non-profit organization
based in Mystic, Connecticut,

345
00:16:20,279 --> 00:16:22,544
that assists in
the scraping of barnacles...

346
00:16:22,648 --> 00:16:23,946
So this is my life

347
00:16:25,518 --> 00:16:26,611
until I win the lottery

348
00:16:29,155 --> 00:16:31,852
or Pam finally writes
that series of
young adult books.

349
00:16:32,191 --> 00:16:34,626
So, one afternoon
while walking
home from school,

350
00:16:34,694 --> 00:16:36,526
quirky 10th-grader
Becky Walters

351
00:16:36,662 --> 00:16:38,494
finds a wounded
Pegasus in the woods.

352
00:16:39,198 --> 00:16:42,225
And she becomes
"The Horse Flyer."

353
00:16:44,036 --> 00:16:45,698
Hey, Kelly,
that's the last time

354
00:16:45,771 --> 00:16:47,672
I'm gonna talk to you
about your paycheck, okay?

355
00:16:47,773 --> 00:16:50,368
We pay you a fair salary here
and if you're only here
for the money,

356
00:16:50,476 --> 00:16:51,842
maybe you shouldn't
be here at all.

357
00:16:51,911 --> 00:16:53,402
No one likes
a money grubber.

358
00:16:55,181 --> 00:16:59,312
I'm sorry, Mr. Howard.
I apologize for
grubbing for money...

359
00:16:59,785 --> 00:17:02,949
I can't do this.
I can't do this.
I'm sorry, I just can't do it.

360
00:17:03,022 --> 00:17:05,116
Deangelo,
Ryan is not my boss, okay?

361
00:17:05,191 --> 00:17:07,217
Frankly, he hasn't had
a real job here in years.

362
00:17:07,326 --> 00:17:08,419
Whoa!


363
00:17:08,861 --> 00:17:10,557
That's hilarious, Kelly.

364
00:17:10,696 --> 00:17:12,426
No, he's just
a big fraud, Deangelo.

365
00:17:12,498 --> 00:17:13,761
He's like Rango.

366
00:17:13,833 --> 00:17:15,426
He doesn't work here,
basically,

367
00:17:15,501 --> 00:17:17,766
just like the way
Rango didn't save
those animals.

368
00:17:17,837 --> 00:17:19,305
It was just a big
misunderstanding.

369
00:17:20,740 --> 00:17:21,935
Is this true, Ryan?

370
00:17:22,808 --> 00:17:23,901
I did not see <i>Rango.</i>

371
00:17:24,443 --> 00:17:26,674
Okay,
I don't have time for this
"he said, she said."

372
00:17:26,746 --> 00:17:27,941
He's not saying anything!

373
00:17:28,014 --> 00:17:29,004
It's too murky.

374
00:17:29,849 --> 00:17:33,183
I like Ryan.
You seem kind of
hysterical to me.

375
00:17:34,253 --> 00:17:36,882
Ryan's your supervisor.
Let's just leave it that way.

376
00:17:36,956 --> 00:17:39,551
But it's not fair.
I've been working here
for such a long time...

377
00:17:40,259 --> 00:17:41,249


378
00:17:41,427 --> 00:17:42,417
Close call.

379
00:17:42,795 --> 00:17:45,094
Okay, why don't you
just finish this stuff up
and leave it on my desk

380
00:17:45,164 --> 00:17:47,030
and I will see
you at your place
around 2:00 a.m.?

381
00:17:49,802 --> 00:17:51,293


382
00:17:56,442 --> 00:17:59,105
DEANGELO:
Oh, angry, angry dunk.

383
00:17:59,312 --> 00:18:00,302
Hey.

384
00:18:00,379 --> 00:18:02,007
It sounds like you guys
are having a lot of fun,

385
00:18:02,081 --> 00:18:05,074
but it's really loud
and some of us are
trying to work, so...

386
00:18:05,151 --> 00:18:07,017
Do you think
you could do it
a little more quietly?

387
00:18:07,119 --> 00:18:09,816
Well, that's gonna
be tough because we're
getting a dunking clinic

388
00:18:09,889 --> 00:18:11,380
from Magic Jordan himself.

389
00:18:12,158 --> 00:18:13,854
You mean Michael Jordan?

390
00:18:16,662 --> 00:18:17,686
Total brain burp.

391
00:18:17,763 --> 00:18:18,753
I'm no MJ.

392
00:18:19,398 --> 00:18:20,388
Please.

393
00:18:20,499 --> 00:18:22,968
I can do his dunk
from free-throw line,
though.

394
00:18:23,035 --> 00:18:24,025
Whoa!

395
00:18:25,204 --> 00:18:28,697
Damn!
Mad respect
from a brother!

396
00:18:28,941 --> 00:18:32,878
The man is paying me
to take Chinese.
I will say what I need to say.

397
00:18:32,945 --> 00:18:35,881
And soon,
I will say it in Chinese.

398
00:18:37,016 --> 00:18:38,450
Okay, well,
it's just really loud.

399
00:18:38,818 --> 00:18:41,378
Okay. We'll keep that
in mind.

400
00:18:41,687 --> 00:18:43,883
All right, ladies.
Back to the game.
Do it!

401
00:18:44,924 --> 00:18:47,291
And, Jim, come on in.

402
00:18:48,461 --> 00:18:49,451
You're back in.

403
00:18:51,998 --> 00:18:55,332
You know what?
Instead of a game,
why don't we do an exhibition?

404
00:18:55,401 --> 00:18:56,664
Love to see
that dunk of yours.

405
00:18:57,903 --> 00:18:58,893
Yeah, we'll set that up
one day.

406
00:18:59,405 --> 00:19:00,737
Today. Now, maybe.

407
00:19:01,040 --> 00:19:02,474
'Cause we have
a hoop downstairs,

408
00:19:02,541 --> 00:19:04,567
and a real ball,
so you don't have
to mime it.

409
00:19:06,078 --> 00:19:07,239
Yeah, I don't know.

410
00:19:07,747 --> 00:19:08,737
Why not?

411
00:19:09,181 --> 00:19:10,740
Only because

412
00:19:10,816 --> 00:19:13,342
no one has called NASA
to request a lift off.

413
00:19:14,053 --> 00:19:15,043


414
00:19:15,388 --> 00:19:17,687
Let's go downstairs, okay?
Let's do it.

415
00:19:17,757 --> 00:19:18,747
Pass.

416
00:19:19,291 --> 00:19:20,725
If I wanted to see
a pissing contest,

417
00:19:20,860 --> 00:19:22,294
I'd lock Mose in
the chicken coop.

418
00:19:22,528 --> 00:19:23,996
Damn it, Dwight, enough!

419
00:19:24,797 --> 00:19:28,859
Get your ass downstairs,
or find a new place
to sell paper!

420
00:19:32,071 --> 00:19:33,164
DWIGHT: <i>Okay,</i>
<i>a little about me.</i>

421
00:19:35,708 --> 00:19:37,870
I respond to
strong leadership.

422
00:19:39,078 --> 00:19:40,671
All right, there you go.
Seems a little close.

423
00:19:40,746 --> 00:19:41,907
You're sure that's
the real foul line?

424
00:19:42,048 --> 00:19:43,209
Fifteen feet
from the baseline.

425
00:19:43,282 --> 00:19:45,080
So you need me
to move it in?

426
00:19:45,384 --> 00:19:46,977
Nah, that's 15.

427
00:19:47,053 --> 00:19:48,043
Yeah.
Okay.

428
00:19:48,187 --> 00:19:50,520
And, you know what,
to make it interesting,

429
00:19:50,589 --> 00:19:52,785
Jordan, why don't you sit
underneath the basket?

430
00:19:52,892 --> 00:19:54,656
Seriously?
Yeah, come on.

431
00:19:54,827 --> 00:19:56,386
I'll dunk over you,
best seat in the house.

432
00:19:56,629 --> 00:19:57,756
I don't...
I don't think
I can do that.

433
00:19:58,097 --> 00:19:59,121
I'm holding your jewelry.

434
00:19:59,265 --> 00:20:00,324
Right, yeah.

435
00:20:00,766 --> 00:20:02,496
Okay, fair enough.
Kevin, you do it.

436
00:20:02,768 --> 00:20:03,758
Yes, okay.

437
00:20:03,903 --> 00:20:04,927
Why don't you?

438
00:20:05,004 --> 00:20:05,994
Here?

439
00:20:06,605 --> 00:20:07,595
Someone wanna
sit in Kevin's lap?

440
00:20:07,673 --> 00:20:08,697
Angela?
No.

441
00:20:08,774 --> 00:20:10,174
Oscar?
No, thank you.

442
00:20:10,309 --> 00:20:12,904
Okay, Jimmy, this is for you,
to show you that
anything is possible.

443
00:20:12,978 --> 00:20:14,344
Fantastic.
All right?

444
00:20:14,413 --> 00:20:16,473
Yup.
This is also for the troops.

445
00:20:25,658 --> 00:20:26,648
Doctor is in!

446
00:20:27,793 --> 00:20:28,817


447
00:20:28,994 --> 00:20:29,984


448
00:20:30,096 --> 00:20:31,189


449
00:20:33,866 --> 00:20:34,993


450
00:20:40,906 --> 00:20:41,896
Now what?

451
00:20:48,013 --> 00:20:49,777
Deangelo?


452
00:20:50,049 --> 00:20:51,176
Oh, my God,
are you all right?

453
00:20:52,885 --> 00:20:55,013
Erin, will you
call 911, please?
ERIN: Okay.

454
00:20:55,588 --> 00:20:57,523
Who should I say
is calling?
Erin.

455
00:20:57,723 --> 00:21:01,023


456
00:21:19,345 --> 00:21:20,711


457
00:21:23,649 --> 00:21:24,912
Dry sweat, yeah,
I get it.

458
00:21:24,984 --> 00:21:25,974


459
00:21:26,519 --> 00:21:28,545
Okay, we're gonna
work on it.