1
00:00:07,616 --> 00:00:09,052
Who wants fresh-baked
banana bread?
2
00:00:09,183 --> 00:00:10,445
Oh, oh. Me, me, me, me.
3
00:00:12,621 --> 00:00:14,033
-Smells great, Dave.
-DAVE: Oh, yeah,
4
00:00:14,057 --> 00:00:15,624
it's Steve's secret recipe.
5
00:00:15,754 --> 00:00:17,278
Oh. Who's Steve?
6
00:00:17,408 --> 00:00:18,688
Oh, he's
my mom's special friend.
7
00:00:20,281 --> 00:00:22,283
He would make it for me
whenever he and my mom
8
00:00:22,413 --> 00:00:23,693
went upstairs to do their taxes.
9
00:00:25,677 --> 00:00:27,723
How often
would they do their taxes?
10
00:00:27,853 --> 00:00:29,253
I don't know,
a couple times a week.
11
00:00:31,901 --> 00:00:32,989
Does he know that...
12
00:00:33,120 --> 00:00:34,947
Do you really
want to pull that thread?
13
00:00:35,078 --> 00:00:37,341
Calvin, as soon as
I got my oven fixed,
14
00:00:37,472 --> 00:00:38,951
this was the first thing I made.
15
00:00:39,082 --> 00:00:40,475
Oh.
Well, what was wrong with it?
16
00:00:40,605 --> 00:00:43,347
No idea. Man came over, went
straight to the breaker box,
17
00:00:43,478 --> 00:00:45,518
worked his magic, and
now we're eating banana bread.
18
00:00:46,481 --> 00:00:47,699
It wasn't magic, Dave.
19
00:00:47,830 --> 00:00:49,527
Did you really just pay somebody
20
00:00:49,658 --> 00:00:51,573
to flip your circuit breaker?
21
00:00:51,703 --> 00:00:53,705
No.
22
00:00:53,836 --> 00:00:56,839
It was free, with the protection
plan that I bought.
23
00:00:56,969 --> 00:00:58,275
Oh, so it wasn't free.
24
00:00:58,406 --> 00:01:00,364
It's actually $250 a year.
25
00:01:00,495 --> 00:01:02,062
That's very not free.
26
00:01:03,237 --> 00:01:05,717
Well, it was free today.
27
00:01:05,848 --> 00:01:07,241
And it gives me peace of mind.
28
00:01:07,371 --> 00:01:09,132
Look, I always check the box
for the extended warranty.
29
00:01:09,156 --> 00:01:10,548
[laughs] See?
30
00:01:10,679 --> 00:01:12,028
That's how they get you.
31
00:01:12,159 --> 00:01:14,074
I don't check
any of those boxes.
32
00:01:14,204 --> 00:01:16,946
As soon as that cashier
turns that screen towards me,
33
00:01:17,077 --> 00:01:19,166
I turn it right back on her.
34
00:01:19,296 --> 00:01:20,471
And I tell her,
35
00:01:20,602 --> 00:01:22,343
"I ain't the one."
36
00:01:22,473 --> 00:01:24,127
[laughs]
37
00:01:24,258 --> 00:01:26,042
Speaking of "one,"
that's your last one.
38
00:01:28,784 --> 00:01:30,873
Well, look,
if you don't check the box,
39
00:01:31,003 --> 00:01:32,396
you just end up paying a man.
40
00:01:32,527 --> 00:01:34,268
Dave, you are the man.
41
00:01:34,398 --> 00:01:37,532
Right, but a real man
knows how to delegate.
42
00:01:37,662 --> 00:01:38,794
Right, Gemma?
43
00:01:38,924 --> 00:01:41,275
Absolutely.
44
00:01:42,145 --> 00:01:44,234
Although I got to say,
growing up in Hickory Corners,
45
00:01:44,365 --> 00:01:45,583
my grandpa fixed
46
00:01:45,714 --> 00:01:46,845
-everything himself.
-Yep.
47
00:01:46,976 --> 00:01:48,978
He put a new roof
on the barn when he was 82.
48
00:01:50,153 --> 00:01:51,894
Gemma, he fell to his death.
49
00:01:53,069 --> 00:01:55,245
With a hammer in his hand.
50
00:01:55,376 --> 00:01:57,552
That's how a real man goes out.
51
00:01:59,510 --> 00:02:01,227
♪ Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ♪
52
00:02:01,251 --> 00:02:02,296
♪ Welcome to the hood. ♪
53
00:02:10,434 --> 00:02:12,610
Malcolm, I can't read
the draft of your book
54
00:02:12,741 --> 00:02:14,743
-with you staring at me.
-Okay, my bad.
55
00:02:18,877 --> 00:02:20,488
I can feel your eyes.
56
00:02:23,317 --> 00:02:26,102
Okay, here's Daphne,
57
00:02:26,233 --> 00:02:27,538
fresh out of the bath.
58
00:02:27,669 --> 00:02:28,887
Thank you, Mrs. B.
59
00:02:29,018 --> 00:02:32,500
Oh, she is slippery.
60
00:02:33,762 --> 00:02:35,590
She's slippery, Marty.
61
00:02:35,720 --> 00:02:38,636
Oh. Uh, Mom, remember,
we said we only want to use
62
00:02:38,767 --> 00:02:40,290
water-based products on Daphne,
63
00:02:40,421 --> 00:02:41,726
so no Vaseline.
64
00:02:41,857 --> 00:02:43,293
Oh, everybody knows
65
00:02:43,424 --> 00:02:44,425
babies should be greasy.
66
00:02:46,035 --> 00:02:48,342
Ah, yes, that common phrase.
67
00:02:50,996 --> 00:02:53,390
Uh, what happened to the outfit
that I laid out for her?
68
00:02:53,521 --> 00:02:55,087
Oh, you wanted her
in that thing?
69
00:02:55,218 --> 00:02:57,220
It was a gift from my grandma.
70
00:02:57,351 --> 00:02:59,831
Oh. Oh, let me
check the rag box.
71
00:03:01,920 --> 00:03:03,400
I'm gonna go
try to degrease her.
72
00:03:03,531 --> 00:03:06,142
Whoa, she is like an eel.
73
00:03:08,492 --> 00:03:10,364
Ah, that's crazy, huh?
[clears throat]
74
00:03:10,494 --> 00:03:11,974
Can you get back
to my book, please?
75
00:03:12,104 --> 00:03:14,498
I'm sorry, Marty,
I'm just anxious to know
76
00:03:14,629 --> 00:03:16,326
if I'm capturing
the romance novel vibe.
77
00:03:16,457 --> 00:03:17,327
Okay, okay, okay.
78
00:03:17,458 --> 00:03:18,459
[mutters]
79
00:03:18,589 --> 00:03:22,289
"Derek grasped
her heaving bosom."
80
00:03:22,419 --> 00:03:23,507
What's wrong?
81
00:03:23,638 --> 00:03:26,467
Well, "bosom." And "heaving."
82
00:03:26,597 --> 00:03:28,686
And I don't love "grasped."
83
00:03:28,817 --> 00:03:31,341
It's a romance novel, Marty.
It's supposed to be seductive.
84
00:03:31,472 --> 00:03:32,797
Yeah, well,
I'm not feeling seduced.
85
00:03:32,821 --> 00:03:33,928
I'm not trying to seduce you.
86
00:03:33,952 --> 00:03:35,060
Then why'd you
ask me to read it?
87
00:03:35,084 --> 00:03:36,303
Because I wanted your opinion.
88
00:03:36,433 --> 00:03:37,584
This could have been an email.
89
00:03:37,608 --> 00:03:38,740
Oh, man.
90
00:03:40,481 --> 00:03:43,397
These books are just not
in my wheelhouse, you know?
91
00:03:43,527 --> 00:03:44,963
I wish I knew
somebody who read them
92
00:03:45,094 --> 00:03:48,489
who could be my, uh,
my smut consultant.
93
00:03:48,619 --> 00:03:50,031
Well, we could get
Mama back up in here.
94
00:03:50,055 --> 00:03:52,144
-Mama!
-No, no, no, Mama. No.
95
00:03:52,275 --> 00:03:53,275
Anyone else.
96
00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:56,235
Gemma.
97
00:03:56,323 --> 00:03:57,454
You think so?
98
00:03:57,585 --> 00:03:59,195
She does love those books.
99
00:03:59,326 --> 00:04:01,173
Remember when she was reading
Pride and Prejudice,
100
00:04:01,197 --> 00:04:02,305
and then the fake
cover slipped off
101
00:04:02,329 --> 00:04:03,609
and it was Fifty Shades of Grey?
102
00:04:03,634 --> 00:04:05,854
Yeah. [laughs]
Yeah, she was all, like,
103
00:04:05,984 --> 00:04:07,508
"How did that get in here?"
104
00:04:07,638 --> 00:04:09,838
Yeah, and then she ran away
screaming, "Don't judge me!"
105
00:04:13,514 --> 00:04:16,386
In case you're wondering who's
gonna hook this baby up, uh,
106
00:04:16,517 --> 00:04:19,650
you're looking at him.
A real man.
107
00:04:19,781 --> 00:04:21,609
Congratulations.
108
00:04:23,480 --> 00:04:24,873
You know, I spent all night
109
00:04:25,003 --> 00:04:26,918
watching how-to videos
on YouTube,
110
00:04:27,049 --> 00:04:29,834
and, uh, I got this.
111
00:04:29,965 --> 00:04:32,141
Whoa, whoa. Uh, exc...
[chuckles]
112
00:04:32,272 --> 00:04:34,361
Bathroom is in the house,
my friend.
113
00:04:34,491 --> 00:04:36,841
Yeah, I imagine so.
114
00:04:36,972 --> 00:04:39,322
Uh, excuse me. Uh, so,
115
00:04:39,453 --> 00:04:40,758
are you not gonna bring it in?
116
00:04:40,889 --> 00:04:41,977
Oh.
117
00:04:42,107 --> 00:04:43,239
Nah.
118
00:04:44,936 --> 00:04:47,112
You just signed up
for standard delivery.
119
00:04:47,243 --> 00:04:48,786
That means that
I leave this on the premises,
120
00:04:48,810 --> 00:04:50,986
and your lawn is the premises.
121
00:04:51,116 --> 00:04:52,944
If you wanted it
brought into the house,
122
00:04:53,075 --> 00:04:53,902
you should have checked the box
123
00:04:54,032 --> 00:04:55,338
for white-glove service.
124
00:04:55,469 --> 00:04:58,080
But, uh... [clears throat]
125
00:04:58,210 --> 00:05:00,996
my friend says
those boxes are, uh...
126
00:05:01,126 --> 00:05:02,998
[clicks tongue]
how they get you.
127
00:05:03,128 --> 00:05:05,261
Well, you didn't get got.
128
00:05:05,392 --> 00:05:07,132
Have a nice day.
129
00:05:07,263 --> 00:05:09,396
Well, hold on. D-Don't go.
130
00:05:09,526 --> 00:05:11,223
Ca... Can I check the box now?
131
00:05:11,354 --> 00:05:13,922
Nah, you have to do it
at the time of the purchase.
132
00:05:14,052 --> 00:05:15,315
Have a nice day.
133
00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:19,971
I am not going
to have a nice day.
134
00:05:24,193 --> 00:05:26,021
Yeah, yeah.
135
00:05:26,151 --> 00:05:27,457
Oh, hey.
136
00:05:27,588 --> 00:05:29,111
Oh, she's still a little greasy.
137
00:05:29,241 --> 00:05:30,330
I know.
138
00:05:32,549 --> 00:05:35,900
There she is. There's my little
139
00:05:36,031 --> 00:05:39,208
everything. Yeah. Oh.
140
00:05:39,339 --> 00:05:42,559
Hi. You want to know
what Gamma got you?
141
00:05:42,690 --> 00:05:45,562
Is that a dress? Oh, yes, it is.
142
00:05:45,693 --> 00:05:48,609
Oh, wow. So I see.
143
00:05:48,739 --> 00:05:50,915
So many colors.
144
00:05:51,046 --> 00:05:52,656
Right?
145
00:05:52,787 --> 00:05:54,745
You know what would
make that outfit pop?
146
00:05:54,876 --> 00:05:57,444
Earrings. When are you
getting her ears pierced?
147
00:05:57,574 --> 00:05:59,402
Not sure yet, but not right now.
148
00:05:59,533 --> 00:06:01,622
Aw, she would look so cute.
149
00:06:01,752 --> 00:06:03,580
Yeah. She would.
150
00:06:03,711 --> 00:06:05,103
So?
151
00:06:05,234 --> 00:06:06,757
You know what it is?
152
00:06:06,888 --> 00:06:09,760
I just...
I get a little squeamish
153
00:06:09,891 --> 00:06:10,971
when it comes to piercings.
154
00:06:11,022 --> 00:06:12,197
But thanks
155
00:06:12,328 --> 00:06:14,548
so much for the dress. Love.
156
00:06:14,678 --> 00:06:15,679
Well, I'm
157
00:06:15,810 --> 00:06:18,508
glad you like it. I bought her
158
00:06:18,639 --> 00:06:21,163
a sweater with
the exact same pattern.
159
00:06:21,293 --> 00:06:22,425
Can't wait to see it.
160
00:06:22,556 --> 00:06:24,035
Okay, now.
161
00:06:26,081 --> 00:06:27,909
I hate lying to your mom.
162
00:06:28,039 --> 00:06:29,519
Yeah, I know,
that dress looks like
163
00:06:29,650 --> 00:06:30,970
someone threw up
a box of crayons.
164
00:06:30,999 --> 00:06:33,349
And the whole piercing thing.
165
00:06:33,480 --> 00:06:35,880
I really feel like we need to
wait until Daphne is old enough
166
00:06:35,960 --> 00:06:37,614
to make that choice for herself.
167
00:06:37,745 --> 00:06:39,094
Totally agree.
168
00:06:39,224 --> 00:06:41,024
But it would be
so hard to tell your mom that.
169
00:06:41,139 --> 00:06:42,532
Totally agree.
170
00:06:42,663 --> 00:06:44,839
So, how do you do it?
171
00:06:44,969 --> 00:06:46,101
Do what?
172
00:06:48,059 --> 00:06:49,191
Disagree with her.
173
00:06:49,321 --> 00:06:51,715
Oh. No, I don't. I don't.
174
00:06:51,846 --> 00:06:52,977
I learned that years ago.
175
00:06:53,108 --> 00:06:54,370
Come on.
176
00:06:54,501 --> 00:06:56,024
No, it's true. Really.
177
00:06:56,154 --> 00:06:57,784
I used to think
my favorite color was blue,
178
00:06:57,808 --> 00:06:59,506
but then my mom
told me it was green,
179
00:06:59,636 --> 00:07:01,421
and it turns out she was right.
180
00:07:06,904 --> 00:07:09,472
"Mayday, Mayday,
this is not a drill"?
181
00:07:09,603 --> 00:07:11,256
What do you need, Dave?
182
00:07:11,387 --> 00:07:12,987
Just a quick favor.
I need you to help me
183
00:07:13,041 --> 00:07:14,912
pop that bad boy into the house.
184
00:07:15,043 --> 00:07:17,437
That bad boy is a bathtub.
185
00:07:18,829 --> 00:07:19,700
Why didn't you have
186
00:07:19,830 --> 00:07:21,223
the delivery guys do it?
187
00:07:21,353 --> 00:07:23,181
Well, I didn't choose
the white-glove service
188
00:07:23,312 --> 00:07:25,183
because the little Calvin
on my shoulder
189
00:07:25,314 --> 00:07:28,056
told me not to check any boxes.
190
00:07:28,186 --> 00:07:31,451
Well, regular-size Calvin
says you're an idiot.
191
00:07:33,409 --> 00:07:36,194
You don't check the box
for loyalty service,
192
00:07:36,325 --> 00:07:39,110
you don't check the box
for travel protection,
193
00:07:39,241 --> 00:07:42,549
but you always check the box
for white-glove service.
194
00:07:42,679 --> 00:07:43,724
Especially for stuff
195
00:07:43,854 --> 00:07:45,552
as big as a bathtub.
196
00:07:45,682 --> 00:07:47,945
Including a bathtub.
197
00:07:48,076 --> 00:07:49,251
Everybody knows that.
198
00:07:49,381 --> 00:07:50,905
Well, I didn't know that. Look,
199
00:07:51,035 --> 00:07:53,255
Calvin, please,
I can't have Gemma
200
00:07:53,385 --> 00:07:55,015
come home and see
that I couldn't do this.
201
00:07:55,039 --> 00:07:56,626
How am I supposed to feel
like the man of the house
202
00:07:56,650 --> 00:07:58,913
if I can't even be a man?
203
00:08:02,699 --> 00:08:04,379
You knew that was gonna
get me, didn't you?
204
00:08:05,006 --> 00:08:06,355
You knew it.
205
00:08:07,530 --> 00:08:09,706
Come on, Dave.
I mean, a bathtub?
206
00:08:09,837 --> 00:08:11,708
Well, maybe you're right.
207
00:08:12,535 --> 00:08:14,885
Guess I'm not gonna die
like Gemma's grandpa.
208
00:08:15,016 --> 00:08:16,452
Probably die like my grandpa,
209
00:08:16,583 --> 00:08:17,845
at a puppet show.
210
00:08:22,110 --> 00:08:23,590
I got so many questions.
211
00:08:23,720 --> 00:08:25,113
-Uh...
-I...
212
00:08:26,549 --> 00:08:28,943
All right.
Come on, I'll help you.
213
00:08:29,073 --> 00:08:31,032
Okay. Calvin, thank you.
214
00:08:32,207 --> 00:08:33,295
And I'll tell you what.
215
00:08:33,425 --> 00:08:35,776
Once this bad boy is in,
216
00:08:35,906 --> 00:08:39,301
you get the honor
of taking the very first bath.
217
00:08:39,431 --> 00:08:42,173
Dave, this will be the last time
218
00:08:42,304 --> 00:08:44,785
that I ever touch your bathtub.
219
00:08:45,916 --> 00:08:46,916
Come on.
220
00:08:52,096 --> 00:08:54,621
Calvin, these buddy straps
were a great investment.
221
00:08:54,751 --> 00:08:57,145
Instead of spending
$95 on white-glove service,
222
00:08:57,275 --> 00:08:59,408
I spent 60 on these straps,
223
00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:02,019
and I get
to keep them forever. Calvin,
224
00:09:02,150 --> 00:09:03,499
imagine the things we can lift.
225
00:09:03,630 --> 00:09:04,979
Yeah, let's just
226
00:09:05,109 --> 00:09:06,458
get this up the stairs, Dave.
227
00:09:06,589 --> 00:09:08,939
Okay, now, Calvin,
remember, lift with your legs.
228
00:09:09,070 --> 00:09:11,159
I've lifted things before.
229
00:09:11,289 --> 00:09:13,291
Here we go. One, two, three,
230
00:09:13,422 --> 00:09:14,510
-lift.
-Yep.
231
00:09:14,641 --> 00:09:16,686
-Yep. Okay. All right.
-Okay. All right.
232
00:09:16,817 --> 00:09:19,036
I think we got it. Here we go.
233
00:09:19,167 --> 00:09:21,691
Right foot, left foot,
right foot, left foot.
234
00:09:21,822 --> 00:09:23,432
We're doing it.
Right foot, left foot.
235
00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:24,825
Right foot, left foot.
236
00:09:24,955 --> 00:09:26,261
Yeah, I know how to walk, Dave.
237
00:09:30,134 --> 00:09:31,875
"Heaving bosom?"
238
00:09:32,006 --> 00:09:33,790
I am taking that part out.
239
00:09:33,921 --> 00:09:36,097
-I would.
-I am.
240
00:09:36,227 --> 00:09:37,901
-Because that's a really old...
-I'm taking it out, Gemma!
241
00:09:37,925 --> 00:09:39,013
Okay? It's gone.
242
00:09:40,971 --> 00:09:42,625
Look, here's the thing, Malcolm.
243
00:09:42,756 --> 00:09:44,888
You're a terrific writer.
244
00:09:45,019 --> 00:09:47,587
But the intimate moments?
245
00:09:47,717 --> 00:09:49,545
They're lacking a certain...
246
00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:51,982
[purrs, chuckles]
247
00:09:52,113 --> 00:09:53,612
Well, can you help me out?
I don't know,
248
00:09:53,636 --> 00:09:54,724
give me an example of-of...
249
00:09:54,855 --> 00:09:55,943
-Yes.
-Oh.
250
00:09:57,248 --> 00:09:59,207
Okay, and you
highlighted passages for me.
251
00:09:59,337 --> 00:10:01,252
Yeah. For you.
252
00:10:03,646 --> 00:10:05,082
Okay, look at this one.
253
00:10:05,213 --> 00:10:07,607
"His hand traced her softness,
254
00:10:07,737 --> 00:10:09,478
"claiming her body
with every breath.
255
00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:11,741
"She trembled like a fawn
256
00:10:11,872 --> 00:10:13,787
in the path
of his undeniable ardor."
257
00:10:17,573 --> 00:10:20,576
Okay. So-so-so,
you're saying that's...
258
00:10:20,707 --> 00:10:21,969
[purrs]
259
00:10:22,099 --> 00:10:23,710
Oh, yeah.
260
00:10:23,840 --> 00:10:25,537
Okay, here.
Here's another good example.
261
00:10:25,668 --> 00:10:27,148
[clears throat] Mm-hmm.
262
00:10:28,410 --> 00:10:29,716
Uh, Gemma,
263
00:10:29,846 --> 00:10:31,979
this is a biography
of Steve Jobs.
264
00:10:33,067 --> 00:10:34,329
No, it's not.
265
00:10:36,940 --> 00:10:38,289
Calvin, slow down.
You're pushing.
266
00:10:38,420 --> 00:10:39,658
I'm not pushing. You're pulling.
267
00:10:39,682 --> 00:10:41,268
Well, I can't see.
You're my eyes, Calvin.
268
00:10:41,292 --> 00:10:42,443
-I don't know where I'm going.
-I've got the heavy end, Dave.
269
00:10:42,467 --> 00:10:43,860
Lift up. You watch it...
270
00:10:43,991 --> 00:10:45,011
-You're pushing me
into the door.
-I am not.
271
00:10:45,035 --> 00:10:46,491
I'm gonna die!
Okay, down, down, down!
272
00:10:46,515 --> 00:10:48,038
What, what, what, what?
273
00:10:48,169 --> 00:10:50,171
Okay. That wasn't so hard.
274
00:10:52,521 --> 00:10:53,957
It's not gonna fit.
275
00:10:54,088 --> 00:10:56,525
Calvin, yes, it will.
276
00:10:56,656 --> 00:10:58,136
No, it's too wide.
It's not gonna fit.
277
00:10:58,222 --> 00:11:00,355
We won't know unless we try.
278
00:11:00,485 --> 00:11:01,922
Well, my eyes know.
279
00:11:02,052 --> 00:11:04,881
Let's just try,
and then we'll know for sure.
280
00:11:05,012 --> 00:11:06,753
Okay? One, two, three,
281
00:11:06,883 --> 00:11:07,883
lift. All right.
282
00:11:09,538 --> 00:11:10,713
Okay.
283
00:11:10,844 --> 00:11:12,106
And now we know.
284
00:11:15,544 --> 00:11:16,719
Hey.
285
00:11:16,850 --> 00:11:19,069
[gasps] Oh, hey!
286
00:11:19,200 --> 00:11:20,810
There's my Daphne.
287
00:11:20,941 --> 00:11:21,811
Thank you, Mama.
288
00:11:21,942 --> 00:11:23,639
Doesn't she look pretty?
289
00:11:23,770 --> 00:11:24,640
Well, yeah,
she always looks pretty.
290
00:11:24,771 --> 00:11:25,641
Mm-hmm.
291
00:11:25,772 --> 00:11:27,295
Doesn't she look
292
00:11:27,425 --> 00:11:29,689
extra pretty?
293
00:11:30,951 --> 00:11:32,039
God, no!
294
00:11:34,694 --> 00:11:36,347
You got her ears pierced?
295
00:11:36,478 --> 00:11:38,785
Yeah.
Don't worry, I did a video.
296
00:11:38,915 --> 00:11:40,874
She was crying. It was so cute.
297
00:11:42,266 --> 00:11:43,964
Mom, Courtney's gonna flip out.
298
00:11:44,094 --> 00:11:46,706
Wait, why? She just told me
that she was too squeamish
299
00:11:46,836 --> 00:11:49,404
to take Daphne herself.
This is what good grandmas do.
300
00:11:49,534 --> 00:11:51,449
That is what she said.
301
00:11:51,580 --> 00:11:53,906
The truth is, she wanted to wait
until Daphne was old enough
302
00:11:53,930 --> 00:11:55,323
to make
the decision for herself.
303
00:11:55,453 --> 00:11:57,542
What? Wait, wait, wait.
I don't understand.
304
00:11:57,673 --> 00:11:59,806
Like, why wouldn't she
just be honest with me?
305
00:11:59,936 --> 00:12:01,242
I can take it.
306
00:12:01,372 --> 00:12:03,418
I'm the most easygoing person
in the world.
307
00:12:04,593 --> 00:12:06,464
-Oh, my God.
-[chuckles]
308
00:12:06,595 --> 00:12:09,598
Look, I know you think that,
309
00:12:09,729 --> 00:12:11,469
but sometimes
you can be a little...
310
00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:12,906
A little what, Marty?
311
00:12:15,996 --> 00:12:18,607
Go ahead, spit it out.
You think I'm pushy?
312
00:12:20,652 --> 00:12:23,003
That's... that's what
Malcolm says.
313
00:12:25,135 --> 00:12:26,528
Okay, good.
314
00:12:26,658 --> 00:12:28,462
You've got Serafina
and Derek in the boathouse.
315
00:12:28,486 --> 00:12:29,836
-It's go time.
-Yeah.
316
00:12:29,966 --> 00:12:31,185
All right. [laughs]
317
00:12:31,315 --> 00:12:33,274
How do they go?
318
00:12:35,493 --> 00:12:37,104
They just go.
She throws him on the bed.
319
00:12:37,234 --> 00:12:39,236
Yeah, but there's
no bed in the boathouse.
320
00:12:39,367 --> 00:12:40,474
Then she throws him in a boat.
321
00:12:40,498 --> 00:12:42,370
[groans]
322
00:12:43,240 --> 00:12:45,808
Gemma, you've been telling me
to slow things down.
323
00:12:45,939 --> 00:12:48,376
Yes, Malcolm, but now
you've got them ready.
324
00:12:48,506 --> 00:12:50,770
Derek has been watching Serafina
325
00:12:50,900 --> 00:12:53,207
put on her suntan lotion
on the veranda.
326
00:12:53,337 --> 00:12:56,645
She admired his muscles when
he hauled in his crab traps.
327
00:12:56,776 --> 00:12:58,429
And she has needs.
328
00:12:58,560 --> 00:12:59,929
Reginald hasn't touched her
in weeks.
329
00:12:59,953 --> 00:13:01,432
I mean, this-this is
330
00:13:01,563 --> 00:13:03,957
a-a pressure cooker
that's about to explode.
331
00:13:04,087 --> 00:13:06,829
Yeah. Okay. Uh...
[clears throat]
332
00:13:06,960 --> 00:13:09,658
"Serafina clawed hungrily
333
00:13:09,789 --> 00:13:12,008
"at Derek's belt.
334
00:13:12,139 --> 00:13:13,705
"She pushed him down
335
00:13:13,836 --> 00:13:16,447
"in the dirty dinghy.
336
00:13:16,578 --> 00:13:20,800
She can't get his pants off
fast enough."
337
00:13:24,020 --> 00:13:26,893
Yes. That is so nasty.
338
00:13:34,335 --> 00:13:35,727
What? Keep going.
339
00:13:35,858 --> 00:13:37,218
-Go, go, go, go, go.
-Okay, okay.
340
00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:40,471
DAVE:
Check us out.
341
00:13:40,602 --> 00:13:42,647
Well-oiled machine.
342
00:13:42,778 --> 00:13:43,778
Yep.
343
00:13:43,866 --> 00:13:45,389
Yep, yep, we got this.
344
00:13:45,520 --> 00:13:47,174
All right, now. Okay.
345
00:13:47,304 --> 00:13:48,760
Thank goodness we have
the double doors back here.
346
00:13:48,784 --> 00:13:49,872
[both sigh]
347
00:13:50,003 --> 00:13:51,613
-All right.
-Yeah.
348
00:13:51,743 --> 00:13:53,571
All we got to do is just
349
00:13:53,702 --> 00:13:55,791
get it over to the bathroom,
and we're done.
350
00:13:55,922 --> 00:13:57,097
[sighs]
351
00:13:57,227 --> 00:13:58,228
You mean "up."
352
00:13:58,359 --> 00:13:59,490
What do you mean, "up?"
353
00:13:59,621 --> 00:14:01,710
Well, it's going
in our bathroom.
354
00:14:01,841 --> 00:14:03,059
Upstairs.
355
00:14:03,190 --> 00:14:04,974
W-What about
the bathroom down here?
356
00:14:05,105 --> 00:14:06,715
Well, that's a half bath.
357
00:14:06,846 --> 00:14:08,926
Yeah, we put the tub in there,
then it's a full bath.
358
00:14:11,198 --> 00:14:12,199
Nah, come on, Calvin.
359
00:14:12,329 --> 00:14:13,809
Let's strap back up.
Let's take it up.
360
00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:15,419
Da-David,
I'm not going upstairs.
361
00:14:15,550 --> 00:14:18,379
Your porch is only four steps
and it almost killed us.
362
00:14:20,250 --> 00:14:21,904
You know what,
maybe you're right.
363
00:14:22,035 --> 00:14:23,715
You know, Gemma's
just gonna have to accept
364
00:14:23,819 --> 00:14:26,256
that she's not
married to The Rock.
365
00:14:26,387 --> 00:14:27,823
I'm just a pebble.
366
00:14:27,954 --> 00:14:30,870
Dave "The Pebble" Johnson.
367
00:14:33,046 --> 00:14:34,961
Dave, you are not a pebble.
368
00:14:37,137 --> 00:14:38,137
Look, Calvin,
369
00:14:38,225 --> 00:14:40,096
it's not just about the bathtub.
370
00:14:40,227 --> 00:14:41,445
Look, look, I know, man.
371
00:14:41,576 --> 00:14:43,491
You lost your job, but
372
00:14:43,621 --> 00:14:45,667
that doesn't
make you less of a man.
373
00:14:48,670 --> 00:14:50,672
Calvin, this is
not easy to say, but...
374
00:14:52,500 --> 00:14:54,719
Gemma and I, in the bedroom...
375
00:14:54,850 --> 00:14:56,045
Okay, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
376
00:14:56,069 --> 00:14:57,069
Pump your brakes.
377
00:14:57,157 --> 00:14:58,985
[scoffs]
378
00:14:59,115 --> 00:15:00,551
It's not what you think.
379
00:15:01,770 --> 00:15:02,771
Look...
380
00:15:03,946 --> 00:15:05,382
we haven't been having sex.
381
00:15:05,513 --> 00:15:07,384
That's exactly what I thought.
382
00:15:08,472 --> 00:15:10,170
And now I know.
383
00:15:12,650 --> 00:15:14,435
Well, it's great, at least,
384
00:15:14,565 --> 00:15:16,413
that I have someone
I can share everything with.
385
00:15:16,437 --> 00:15:17,438
No, not everything.
386
00:15:19,092 --> 00:15:20,745
Look, David,
387
00:15:20,876 --> 00:15:23,183
you're my friend, and so...
388
00:15:24,010 --> 00:15:26,012
let's just take care
of this tub situation,
389
00:15:26,142 --> 00:15:28,666
and the other thing, it'll, uh,
390
00:15:28,797 --> 00:15:30,625
be up and running in no time.
391
00:15:32,453 --> 00:15:33,671
I'll go find us some help.
392
00:15:33,802 --> 00:15:34,934
Thanks, man.
393
00:15:36,674 --> 00:15:37,914
Don't you cry. Don't you do it.
394
00:15:47,859 --> 00:15:48,904
There she is.
395
00:15:49,035 --> 00:15:50,775
Mommy's home.
396
00:15:50,906 --> 00:15:52,342
MARTY:
Hello.
397
00:15:52,473 --> 00:15:54,257
Hello, Courtney.
398
00:15:54,388 --> 00:15:56,085
Ooh, Marty,
you have to listen to this
399
00:15:56,216 --> 00:15:58,256
amazing nine-part podcast
about the helium shortage.
400
00:15:58,305 --> 00:15:59,505
-I swear, it's...
-Daphne has
401
00:15:59,610 --> 00:16:00,655
her ears pierced.
402
00:16:01,699 --> 00:16:02,831
What?
403
00:16:02,962 --> 00:16:04,441
Oh, my God.
404
00:16:04,572 --> 00:16:06,443
Did your mother do this?
405
00:16:06,574 --> 00:16:08,402
Look, I will not
sell out my own mother,
406
00:16:08,532 --> 00:16:09,664
but, yes. Yes, she did.
407
00:16:10,839 --> 00:16:12,449
I don't believe this.
408
00:16:12,580 --> 00:16:13,600
That woman has no right...
409
00:16:13,624 --> 00:16:15,365
-Hey.
-[Marty shrieks]
410
00:16:15,496 --> 00:16:17,672
Mrs. B. [laughs]
411
00:16:17,802 --> 00:16:19,848
It is so nice to see you.
412
00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:21,371
Oh, cut the crap.
413
00:16:21,502 --> 00:16:22,546
You know damn well
414
00:16:22,677 --> 00:16:24,331
it's not nice to see me.
415
00:16:24,461 --> 00:16:25,461
Excuse me?
416
00:16:25,549 --> 00:16:27,769
Oh, come on. After what I did?
417
00:16:27,899 --> 00:16:29,597
You need to stop being so polite
418
00:16:29,727 --> 00:16:31,381
and start being real with me.
419
00:16:31,512 --> 00:16:33,253
Hold on. You're mad at me?
420
00:16:33,383 --> 00:16:35,255
You're the one
who pierced my baby's ears.
421
00:16:35,385 --> 00:16:37,518
That's because
you were too respectful
422
00:16:37,648 --> 00:16:39,085
to tell me not to.
423
00:16:39,215 --> 00:16:40,956
And stuff like this is gonna
424
00:16:41,087 --> 00:16:43,306
keep happening
unless you start telling me
425
00:16:43,437 --> 00:16:44,873
how you really feel.
Because, honey,
426
00:16:45,004 --> 00:16:47,702
I'm in my fifties
and I ain't changing.
427
00:16:50,270 --> 00:16:51,532
Okay.
428
00:16:52,837 --> 00:16:54,883
You did overstep.
429
00:16:55,014 --> 00:16:56,972
Look, I get that
you're the grandmother,
430
00:16:57,103 --> 00:16:59,757
-but I am the mother.
-Mm.
431
00:16:59,888 --> 00:17:01,977
Uh-uh. Still too nice.
432
00:17:02,108 --> 00:17:03,805
If you want to respect me,
433
00:17:03,935 --> 00:17:05,763
stop being so damn respectful.
434
00:17:05,894 --> 00:17:08,766
Okay. Okay.
435
00:17:08,897 --> 00:17:12,727
Truth is, sometimes it's like
the concept of boundaries
436
00:17:12,857 --> 00:17:14,772
is completely alien to you.
437
00:17:14,903 --> 00:17:16,209
That was good.
438
00:17:17,471 --> 00:17:20,082
Okay, better. Keep going.
439
00:17:20,213 --> 00:17:23,346
Well, sometimes
you barrel over me
440
00:17:23,477 --> 00:17:26,262
like your opinion
is the only opinion.
441
00:17:26,393 --> 00:17:28,003
Okay, okay.
442
00:17:28,134 --> 00:17:29,918
Now swing harder.
Say it with your chest.
443
00:17:30,049 --> 00:17:32,007
Stay in your lane, woman.
444
00:17:37,708 --> 00:17:38,927
Miss Tina.
445
00:17:40,320 --> 00:17:41,495
Ma'am.
446
00:17:42,626 --> 00:17:43,758
Respectfully.
447
00:17:46,195 --> 00:17:47,544
TINA:
Okay. See?
448
00:17:47,675 --> 00:17:51,461
Now, had you been blunt
like that with me yesterday,
449
00:17:51,592 --> 00:17:53,898
my grandbaby would not
have holes in her ears.
450
00:17:54,029 --> 00:17:55,726
Okay. Fair.
451
00:17:55,857 --> 00:17:58,077
All right, so now that
we're being honest,
452
00:17:58,207 --> 00:18:00,296
do you like the dress
that I gave Daphne?
453
00:18:00,427 --> 00:18:01,776
Oh.
454
00:18:02,907 --> 00:18:05,171
Wait, uh, what dress...
455
00:18:05,301 --> 00:18:06,128
Seize the moment, Courtney.
456
00:18:06,259 --> 00:18:08,435
I hate it.
457
00:18:08,565 --> 00:18:11,002
It looks like a rainbow
stepped on a land mine.
458
00:18:11,133 --> 00:18:13,222
I already shrunk it
in the dryer on purpose.
459
00:18:13,353 --> 00:18:14,832
Mm-hmm.
460
00:18:14,963 --> 00:18:17,043
I kept the receipt. I mean,
I could have returned it.
461
00:18:17,096 --> 00:18:18,706
But you know what?
462
00:18:18,836 --> 00:18:20,055
Thank you for your honesty.
463
00:18:20,186 --> 00:18:21,970
Mommy,
464
00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:24,146
my favorite color is blue.
465
00:18:24,277 --> 00:18:26,931
Boy, shut up. It's green.
Look at your sweater.
466
00:18:29,804 --> 00:18:31,153
Oh. Hey, everybody.
467
00:18:31,284 --> 00:18:33,329
I need your help
to move Dave's bathtub.
468
00:18:33,460 --> 00:18:35,157
-What?
-What? Why?
469
00:18:35,288 --> 00:18:38,856
His bathtub got stuck
on the ground in the front yard,
470
00:18:38,987 --> 00:18:40,771
but then come to find out...
471
00:18:40,902 --> 00:18:42,208
[whispering]
472
00:18:42,338 --> 00:18:43,905
Oh.
473
00:18:44,035 --> 00:18:45,036
Oh, no.
474
00:18:45,167 --> 00:18:46,386
-Poor Gemma.
-[chuckles]
475
00:18:46,516 --> 00:18:47,580
I mean, that is
my worst nightmare.
476
00:18:47,604 --> 00:18:48,997
Me too.
477
00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:50,346
Good thing that ain't us.
478
00:18:50,477 --> 00:18:51,521
You know what I'm saying?
479
00:18:51,652 --> 00:18:53,958
[both muttering indistinctly]
480
00:18:54,089 --> 00:18:56,004
Excuse me.
481
00:18:56,135 --> 00:18:57,695
Do you really think
you're being subtle?
482
00:19:00,922 --> 00:19:03,403
All right, everybody,
bathtub is in.
483
00:19:03,533 --> 00:19:05,187
Now we'll just go
take a quick water break
484
00:19:05,318 --> 00:19:07,450
and then pop back up
and hook up the plumbing.
485
00:19:07,581 --> 00:19:09,428
Oh, well, you know, I think
I left something on the stove.
486
00:19:09,452 --> 00:19:11,280
Yeah, and I just
need to change Daphne.
487
00:19:11,411 --> 00:19:12,847
Well, I-I got to
go help Courtney.
488
00:19:16,677 --> 00:19:17,417
They're not
coming back, are they?
489
00:19:17,547 --> 00:19:19,027
Nope.
490
00:19:20,376 --> 00:19:21,551
Well, you're with me, right?
491
00:19:21,682 --> 00:19:23,249
David, I have been doing
492
00:19:23,379 --> 00:19:25,903
manual labor man work all day.
493
00:19:26,034 --> 00:19:27,992
I'm going home and
I'm taking me a bubble bath.
494
00:19:40,744 --> 00:19:41,745
Well?
495
00:19:41,876 --> 00:19:43,530
Malcolm, this is...
496
00:19:43,660 --> 00:19:44,660
[purrs]
497
00:19:44,705 --> 00:19:45,836
[laughs]
498
00:19:45,967 --> 00:19:47,664
-Wait, wait. Really?
-Really.
499
00:19:47,795 --> 00:19:49,362
Okay, so-so I didn't go too far
500
00:19:49,492 --> 00:19:51,755
with-with the, uh,
the beads of sweat and...
501
00:19:51,886 --> 00:19:54,715
And the wet, flimsy shirt
clinging to his chest?
502
00:19:54,845 --> 00:19:55,845
No.
503
00:19:55,933 --> 00:19:57,805
Oh, yes.
504
00:19:57,935 --> 00:20:00,460
Yeah. Okay, so,
505
00:20:00,590 --> 00:20:02,723
the next time Serafina
and Derek get together,
506
00:20:02,853 --> 00:20:04,420
it's after the gala,
so do you think...
507
00:20:04,551 --> 00:20:06,117
-I got to Dave.
-You got to what?
508
00:20:06,248 --> 00:20:07,467
I got to go.
509
00:20:07,597 --> 00:20:08,729
You got... Hey, uh...
510
00:20:08,859 --> 00:20:10,499
-Gemma, you forgot your purse.
-Keep it!
511
00:20:13,081 --> 00:20:15,649
Dave. Dave!
512
00:20:15,779 --> 00:20:17,738
♪
513
00:20:24,962 --> 00:20:27,356
Oh, hey, baby.
Sorry I'm such a mess.
514
00:20:27,487 --> 00:20:29,924
That's a mess I can get into.
515
00:20:32,622 --> 00:20:34,668
What? Gemma?
516
00:20:35,799 --> 00:20:37,453
-Yeah?
-You okay?
517
00:20:37,584 --> 00:20:38,976
Yeah. [scoffs]
518
00:20:39,107 --> 00:20:40,804
Just... look at you.
519
00:20:40,935 --> 00:20:42,328
I mean,
you're-you're all sweaty.
520
00:20:42,458 --> 00:20:44,417
-What happened?
-Oh, yeah, well,
521
00:20:44,547 --> 00:20:46,987
you know, sometimes, when a man
installs a whole damn bathtub,
522
00:20:47,115 --> 00:20:48,856
you get a little sweaty.
523
00:20:51,119 --> 00:20:52,119
Come on.
524
00:20:52,163 --> 00:20:53,208
Well, where we going?
525
00:20:53,339 --> 00:20:54,577
I'm taking you to the boathouse.
526
00:20:54,601 --> 00:20:55,645
The-the boathouse?
527
00:20:55,776 --> 00:20:57,256
The bathtub! The bathtub.
The bathtub.
528
00:21:02,086 --> 00:21:04,828
Captioning sponsored by CBS
529
00:21:04,959 --> 00:21:08,092
and TOYOTA.
530
00:21:08,223 --> 00:21:10,921
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org