1 00:00:01,740 --> 00:00:02,740 Is that your way? 2 00:00:03,540 --> 00:00:04,540 Aye. 3 00:00:04,700 --> 00:00:08,039 What time do you think we'll be here till? I don't know, 11 maybe? 4 00:00:08,400 --> 00:00:09,400 11? 5 00:00:09,540 --> 00:00:10,540 What the hell? 6 00:00:10,680 --> 00:00:13,740 Well, by the time we have a wee glass of wine or two and hear everybody's news. 7 00:00:14,040 --> 00:00:15,060 You see them all the time? 8 00:00:15,600 --> 00:00:16,459 What news? 9 00:00:16,460 --> 00:00:17,860 Never you mind, Alan. 10 00:00:18,140 --> 00:00:20,380 It's a girls' night and that's what we do. 11 00:00:20,700 --> 00:00:24,640 We put something sparsely on, we have a few drinks and we get a proper catch 12 00:00:24,640 --> 00:00:26,020 -up. Fair enough. 13 00:00:26,620 --> 00:00:27,620 So who are you going to meet? 14 00:00:27,940 --> 00:00:28,940 Davy Mackay. 15 00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:29,738 Davy M? 16 00:00:29,740 --> 00:00:32,810 Aye. I heard he split up with Linda. Is that right enough? 17 00:00:33,230 --> 00:00:34,230 Aye, I think so. 18 00:00:34,330 --> 00:00:36,170 And isn't he talking about taking a job in Dubai? 19 00:00:36,750 --> 00:00:38,430 Aye. Well, I'm not sure what happened with that. 20 00:00:38,770 --> 00:00:40,910 Oh, you're going to have plenty to catch up on. 21 00:00:41,450 --> 00:00:42,450 What are you going to do? 22 00:00:42,930 --> 00:00:43,930 Work for people. 23 00:01:01,700 --> 00:01:02,700 Thanks, Michelle. 24 00:01:02,820 --> 00:01:05,780 Give me your coats. I'll hang them up for you. Use the hanger, please, 25 00:01:05,880 --> 00:01:07,600 Mine's actual leather. 26 00:01:10,680 --> 00:01:11,680 Right. 27 00:01:16,000 --> 00:01:17,060 Sit yourselves down. 28 00:01:17,300 --> 00:01:18,600 Thanks for asking us over. 29 00:01:18,940 --> 00:01:20,880 I'll get any excuse for a wee girl's night. 30 00:01:21,780 --> 00:01:24,040 We've been looking forward to it all week, haven't we, Cathy? 31 00:01:24,380 --> 00:01:25,380 Have we? 32 00:01:26,880 --> 00:01:28,740 So did Eric and Colin get away OK? 33 00:01:29,160 --> 00:01:30,160 Yes, they did. 34 00:01:30,700 --> 00:01:33,660 quarter to six the taxi came. Oh, my God. 35 00:01:33,940 --> 00:01:37,280 I set the alarm for five so we could have sex before he went. 36 00:01:38,860 --> 00:01:41,300 And, uh, was it the Algarve they went? 37 00:01:42,040 --> 00:01:43,040 Uh, yes. 38 00:01:43,120 --> 00:01:46,120 I had no idea Eric even played golf, to be honest. 39 00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:47,440 Yeah, he does. 40 00:01:47,500 --> 00:01:48,820 You're shit at it, though, Michelle. 41 00:01:49,640 --> 00:01:53,360 Right, so, uh, what do you want to drink? A wee glass of Prosecco? 42 00:01:53,620 --> 00:01:54,458 Woo -hoo! 43 00:01:54,460 --> 00:01:58,100 Oh! I brought Prosecco. I've got a bottle open. I'll pop that in the 44 00:01:58,480 --> 00:02:00,080 Cathy, glass of Prosecco for you? 45 00:02:00,320 --> 00:02:01,320 Yes, please, honey. 46 00:02:01,500 --> 00:02:03,320 Oh, and there's vodka in there as well. 47 00:02:03,580 --> 00:02:04,580 All right, will we? 48 00:02:04,680 --> 00:02:08,560 We'll maybe save that for later only. Yeah, give it 15 in the freezer. 49 00:02:09,820 --> 00:02:10,820 This is nice. 50 00:02:11,620 --> 00:02:12,620 Give me a break. 51 00:02:13,020 --> 00:02:15,660 What? I'm sleeping in the fucking brownies. 52 00:02:15,880 --> 00:02:18,580 I mean, what are we going to end up doing? All getting under the duvet with 53 00:02:18,580 --> 00:02:21,020 torches and swapping felt tip pads? 54 00:02:21,800 --> 00:02:23,360 Cathy, just enjoy yourself. 55 00:02:23,910 --> 00:02:24,930 What else would you be doing? 56 00:02:26,890 --> 00:02:28,030 Right, here we go. 57 00:02:28,530 --> 00:02:30,450 Oh, thanks, Michelle, honey. 58 00:02:30,950 --> 00:02:32,630 Yes, thanks, Michelle. 59 00:02:36,850 --> 00:02:37,910 Oh, lovely. 60 00:02:38,790 --> 00:02:40,530 So, Alan off out, is he? 61 00:02:40,830 --> 00:02:42,790 Yeah, he's on his way out to meet his friend Davy. 62 00:02:43,530 --> 00:02:47,870 Anyway, rule number one of girls' night, no talking about your other half. 63 00:02:48,270 --> 00:02:52,450 Oh. Oh, we did this thing at my pal Louise's head night where if you mention 64 00:02:52,450 --> 00:02:54,400 your partner's name, you have to... Do a shot. 65 00:02:55,100 --> 00:02:56,079 Oh, dear. 66 00:02:56,080 --> 00:02:57,260 It was such a laugh. 67 00:02:57,540 --> 00:02:58,540 We were up for a pet. 68 00:02:59,060 --> 00:03:00,620 That is a good idea. Let's do that. 69 00:03:00,980 --> 00:03:04,060 Yeah. I mean, we can if you want to. 70 00:03:05,120 --> 00:03:06,240 Beth, are you up for that? 71 00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:08,360 OK. Yeah. 72 00:03:10,120 --> 00:03:11,120 Kathy? 73 00:03:14,640 --> 00:03:15,640 Colin. 74 00:03:29,360 --> 00:03:30,360 Hello, Michelle. 75 00:03:30,640 --> 00:03:31,640 You've come. 76 00:03:32,100 --> 00:03:34,300 Oh, it's so good to see you. 77 00:03:36,340 --> 00:03:37,420 How are you doing? 78 00:03:37,620 --> 00:03:40,020 Ah, not bad, Michelle, not bad. 79 00:03:40,360 --> 00:03:43,600 Awful lot of dog duck lying in the pavements at the minute. 80 00:03:43,840 --> 00:03:45,280 You've not stood on anything, have you? 81 00:03:46,380 --> 00:03:49,840 I don't think so. Have a wee check for me hen, will you? 82 00:03:51,560 --> 00:03:52,560 No, 83 00:03:53,280 --> 00:03:54,280 you're all right. 84 00:03:54,840 --> 00:03:57,880 I went into one last week with my crocs on. 85 00:03:58,560 --> 00:03:59,880 Fucking mess that was. 86 00:04:00,720 --> 00:04:02,680 Anyway. Oh, hi, Christine. 87 00:04:03,040 --> 00:04:04,040 Oh, hi, Beth. 88 00:04:04,680 --> 00:04:06,480 Oh, there's Kath. Hi, Kath. 89 00:04:07,400 --> 00:04:10,620 What are you so dolled up for? 90 00:04:10,920 --> 00:04:13,120 Oh, just because it's a girl's night. 91 00:04:13,840 --> 00:04:16,940 Well, it's where all the sparkly gear and the hair are brushed. 92 00:04:17,180 --> 00:04:18,180 Are we going out? 93 00:04:19,100 --> 00:04:20,160 No, no, no. 94 00:04:20,440 --> 00:04:23,440 It was just a chance to put something nice on and get a bit done up. 95 00:04:23,820 --> 00:04:26,560 Well, what's the point of that if it's only us? 96 00:04:27,270 --> 00:04:31,030 Well, listen, sit yourself down. You're here and that's all that matters. Do you 97 00:04:31,030 --> 00:04:32,290 want me to pop that in the fridge for you? 98 00:04:32,870 --> 00:04:35,250 What? Do you want me to pop that in the fridge? 99 00:04:36,070 --> 00:04:38,410 Why would I put that in the fridge? That's my knitting. 100 00:04:39,050 --> 00:04:40,490 Your knitting? Oh, great. 101 00:04:40,930 --> 00:04:45,070 Oh, well, when you said it was a woman's night, I thought we'd be sitting round 102 00:04:45,070 --> 00:04:48,410 with cups of tea and I would take the chance to get on with my knitting. 103 00:04:48,630 --> 00:04:50,930 Oh, I don't think that's quite what she had in mind. 104 00:04:51,400 --> 00:04:56,380 I was thinking more two glasses of Fez, maybe some little nibbles and maybe even 105 00:04:56,380 --> 00:05:01,880 watch a wee film later on. Oh, if I'd known that, I'd have picked something 106 00:05:01,880 --> 00:05:03,440 fresh in my bottom half. 107 00:05:04,740 --> 00:05:07,400 You sit yourself down, I'll get you a wee drink. 108 00:05:08,600 --> 00:05:10,600 So, what is it you're knitting, Christine? 109 00:05:10,940 --> 00:05:11,940 Quickly, Michelle! 110 00:05:12,670 --> 00:05:15,790 I'm doing a wee cardigan for Madison's birthday. 111 00:05:16,170 --> 00:05:21,210 Oh, she's going to love that, her granny knitting her a cardigan. I got the 112 00:05:21,210 --> 00:05:22,410 pattern off of Pat. 113 00:05:23,070 --> 00:05:26,890 She was a very big knitter before the amputation. 114 00:05:27,510 --> 00:05:29,370 It was my gran who taught me to knit. 115 00:05:29,670 --> 00:05:36,610 Was it, Beth? And was she missing any limbs or...? That's 116 00:05:36,610 --> 00:05:37,870 her going to be three. 117 00:05:38,640 --> 00:05:43,440 So I'm knitting her a wee cardie with an elephant in the front. Aw, that's 118 00:05:43,440 --> 00:05:45,380 lovely. Does she like elephants? 119 00:05:45,780 --> 00:05:48,080 Well, she'd better, cos I've been at it for a fortnight. 120 00:05:49,220 --> 00:05:50,420 She's going to love it. 121 00:05:50,980 --> 00:05:55,020 My granny used to knit things for me when I was young. You know, the wee 122 00:05:55,020 --> 00:05:56,100 and the scarves. Aw. 123 00:05:56,360 --> 00:05:59,240 The wee bobble hats and the pom -poms. Oh! 124 00:05:59,780 --> 00:06:03,720 Oh! I can't talk about it. Oh, Michelle. 125 00:06:04,380 --> 00:06:05,760 No, I'm fine. Fine. 126 00:06:06,060 --> 00:06:07,060 Aw. 127 00:06:08,360 --> 00:06:09,700 I totally forgot your shot. 128 00:06:11,540 --> 00:06:12,540 Here, Beth. 129 00:06:12,600 --> 00:06:15,780 Remember that knitting machine I was looking at in Argos? 130 00:06:16,120 --> 00:06:17,119 I do. 131 00:06:17,120 --> 00:06:21,080 Well, I wish to Christ I had bought that instead of that fucking soda stream. 132 00:06:22,220 --> 00:06:24,320 Right, here we go. 133 00:06:29,460 --> 00:06:30,540 What's all this? 134 00:06:30,880 --> 00:06:32,200 We're playing a game, Christine. 135 00:06:33,290 --> 00:06:36,670 Every time someone mentions their partner's name, they have to take a 136 00:06:36,670 --> 00:06:40,350 Cathy here has already said Colin once, so she has to do one. 137 00:06:43,090 --> 00:06:44,090 What is it? 138 00:06:45,290 --> 00:06:46,510 Sambuca. Oh! 139 00:06:47,690 --> 00:06:48,690 Ready? 140 00:06:49,890 --> 00:06:50,890 Woo! 141 00:06:52,250 --> 00:06:53,250 What's it like? 142 00:06:53,910 --> 00:06:54,910 Colin. 143 00:06:58,370 --> 00:06:59,950 I bless you, Michelle. 144 00:07:04,300 --> 00:07:05,300 They're good. 145 00:07:05,320 --> 00:07:06,320 Oh, yes. 146 00:07:06,360 --> 00:07:08,040 They're nice and thick, aren't they? 147 00:07:08,820 --> 00:07:11,400 Better than the wee thin ones that you buy, Beth. 148 00:07:12,640 --> 00:07:14,520 So you were saying about the swimming, Beth? 149 00:07:14,740 --> 00:07:16,000 Oh, yes. 150 00:07:16,420 --> 00:07:19,740 See, the difference when you go in, it's one of those all -women sessions. 151 00:07:20,180 --> 00:07:22,920 Oh, I know. The gym's the same. It's calm. 152 00:07:23,140 --> 00:07:26,760 You don't have people racing up and down and you can stop and have a wee chat. 153 00:07:27,180 --> 00:07:31,740 What I hate is when you get the guys from the gym stayed in. Oh, yeah, but 154 00:07:31,740 --> 00:07:32,740 can't stand that. 155 00:07:33,200 --> 00:07:35,380 Just makes you feel like you need to cover yourself up. 156 00:07:36,060 --> 00:07:41,940 I always pull my jumper down at the back when I get on the bus, just in case I 157 00:07:41,940 --> 00:07:43,440 send off the wrong signals. 158 00:07:44,480 --> 00:07:48,820 Well, I wish more people would cover themselves up. In the changing rooms, at 159 00:07:48,820 --> 00:07:51,460 least. Oh, the big hairy moth. 160 00:07:51,720 --> 00:07:55,740 Who wants to see that? 161 00:07:56,080 --> 00:07:57,080 God, I know. 162 00:07:57,120 --> 00:07:58,420 Oh, I've seen Beth twice. 163 00:08:00,330 --> 00:08:04,470 What are your options, though, eh? All that waxing and plucking. 164 00:08:05,550 --> 00:08:07,090 Do you not bother, Christine? 165 00:08:07,950 --> 00:08:09,690 No, I do not. 166 00:08:09,930 --> 00:08:10,929 Oh, God. 167 00:08:10,930 --> 00:08:12,950 Not even a wee tidy up? 168 00:08:13,190 --> 00:08:18,670 Nope. It's yes to the eyebrows, yes to the top lip, but downstairs is its own 169 00:08:18,670 --> 00:08:19,930 boss. Oh! 170 00:08:22,090 --> 00:08:26,070 Oh, you can't beat a girls' night, eh? You can just talk about anything. 171 00:08:26,650 --> 00:08:27,650 Absolutely. 172 00:08:28,090 --> 00:08:29,570 Except men, right? 173 00:08:29,910 --> 00:08:31,690 Right. No talking about men. 174 00:08:31,990 --> 00:08:33,409 That just ends in tears. 175 00:08:33,650 --> 00:08:38,010 That's the only thing about all girls, isn't it? There's always an argument and 176 00:08:38,010 --> 00:08:40,110 always somebody in tears by the end of the night. 177 00:08:40,429 --> 00:08:41,530 No, none of that. 178 00:08:41,730 --> 00:08:45,870 No tears, no falling out, and I promise not to mention Eric. 179 00:08:49,640 --> 00:08:51,880 Ah, you'll need a one of them wee drinks now, Beth. 180 00:08:53,820 --> 00:08:55,680 Don't worry, Beth, I'll do one with you. 181 00:08:56,200 --> 00:09:01,300 Aye, I'll do a handful of Chris. Chris, pass us that bowl over, will you? Here 182 00:09:01,300 --> 00:09:01,959 we go. 183 00:09:01,960 --> 00:09:02,919 Here we go. 184 00:09:02,920 --> 00:09:03,920 Thank you. 185 00:09:04,640 --> 00:09:05,980 Right, we're ready. 186 00:09:06,400 --> 00:09:07,400 After three. 187 00:09:08,500 --> 00:09:10,320 One, two, three. 188 00:09:20,760 --> 00:09:24,420 Well, soon as I've done one, I get to say a wee tiny thing about Alan. 189 00:09:24,700 --> 00:09:25,840 Oh, Alan. 190 00:09:26,600 --> 00:09:28,860 Big old Alan in his big dirty van. 191 00:09:29,960 --> 00:09:31,880 It's just a wee thing, I promise. 192 00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:33,280 Go on, Michelle. 193 00:09:33,980 --> 00:09:37,000 He's just... He never makes an effort about anything. 194 00:09:37,720 --> 00:09:41,920 I mean, look, we organised this night weeks ago, and we went to the Trouble to 195 00:09:41,920 --> 00:09:45,880 think about what to bring and what to wear, and he just texts his mate at the 196 00:09:45,880 --> 00:09:49,060 last minute and sails off down the pub in his old joggy buttons. 197 00:09:49,440 --> 00:09:51,360 Ah, he's never out of them, Michelle. 198 00:09:51,660 --> 00:09:54,140 It's as if they're glued to his arse. He's a nightmare, Christine. 199 00:09:54,340 --> 00:09:56,880 I buy new stuff from him all the time, but he just slings it in the drawer. 200 00:09:57,380 --> 00:10:00,940 I bought Colin a cashmere jumper last week. No. 201 00:10:01,240 --> 00:10:03,840 And a pair of pants that make his cock look bigger. 202 00:10:06,730 --> 00:10:10,010 I've spent years trying to get Eric to smarten himself up. 203 00:10:10,250 --> 00:10:12,330 I always think Eric dresses quite nice. 204 00:10:12,590 --> 00:10:13,590 How much of that you had? 205 00:10:14,970 --> 00:10:17,130 High and mighty he goes to Michelle. 206 00:10:17,590 --> 00:10:19,210 Less high, mere mighty. 207 00:10:21,210 --> 00:10:24,710 You don't know how lucky you are with Colin, Cathy. 208 00:10:24,970 --> 00:10:25,970 Oh, I know. 209 00:10:26,230 --> 00:10:28,630 You're just so well turned out, the both of you. 210 00:10:29,390 --> 00:10:32,130 And, you know, you always seem to get along so well. 211 00:10:33,030 --> 00:10:34,030 Thanks, Michelle. 212 00:10:34,540 --> 00:10:37,620 Our relationship has a very, very strong foundation. 213 00:10:38,240 --> 00:10:43,100 I find if you're happy in the bedroom, you're happy in every room. 214 00:10:43,860 --> 00:10:45,600 And sometimes the garage. 215 00:10:46,720 --> 00:10:49,420 Do you ever fall out? 216 00:10:50,220 --> 00:10:53,360 And, well, sometimes. 217 00:10:54,620 --> 00:10:55,620 What about? 218 00:10:55,920 --> 00:10:57,520 Oh, just the odd little thing he does. 219 00:10:58,160 --> 00:10:59,160 Got jazz? 220 00:11:01,300 --> 00:11:03,420 Go on, spill the beans, Kathy. 221 00:11:06,080 --> 00:11:08,320 Well, I don't like the way he pees. 222 00:11:08,620 --> 00:11:09,620 Oh. Eh? 223 00:11:10,040 --> 00:11:11,560 You know, straight into the water. 224 00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:13,120 Oh, the noise. 225 00:11:13,620 --> 00:11:16,740 I've told him to try and bounce it off his sides or put some paper down, but he 226 00:11:16,740 --> 00:11:18,420 just keeps doing it. 227 00:11:18,960 --> 00:11:19,960 Aye. 228 00:11:20,140 --> 00:11:23,140 They enjoy aiming for things, Kath. 229 00:11:23,440 --> 00:11:25,540 They're trained for it when they're wee boys. 230 00:11:26,080 --> 00:11:28,940 Zip down, wink you, fire straight ahead. 231 00:11:29,740 --> 00:11:32,640 Well, I'm not even going to start with the noises that Alan makes. 232 00:11:34,960 --> 00:11:37,980 In fact, can I ask you a wee question? 233 00:11:38,540 --> 00:11:42,400 Hmm? Do they ever, like, just break wind in front of you? 234 00:11:43,000 --> 00:11:47,200 Oh, well... Yes, the little squeaky ones. 235 00:11:48,340 --> 00:11:50,460 Alan does them right in front of me. 236 00:11:50,980 --> 00:11:53,580 That does not surprise me, Michelle. 237 00:11:54,200 --> 00:11:58,680 It's safe as being drinking or eating anything spicy. Oh, my God, you need a 238 00:11:58,680 --> 00:11:59,680 mask. 239 00:11:59,860 --> 00:12:04,860 That is where living on your own gives you a great deal of freedom, Michelle, 240 00:12:05,200 --> 00:12:06,200 yeah? 241 00:12:06,220 --> 00:12:09,980 Mind you, there is the occasional evening I've got to light a wee candle. 242 00:12:10,600 --> 00:12:12,080 And what about Eric, Beth? 243 00:12:12,300 --> 00:12:14,460 Does he do anything that gets on your nerves? 244 00:12:14,800 --> 00:12:17,240 Oh, Christ, where do you start? 245 00:12:18,260 --> 00:12:21,080 Well, actually, Eric's pretty easy to live with. 246 00:12:22,350 --> 00:12:24,590 There must be some things he does. 247 00:12:24,870 --> 00:12:30,050 Aye, the big yawns when he's back to... Or when he talks. 248 00:12:30,830 --> 00:12:32,630 I hate it when he talks. 249 00:12:33,510 --> 00:12:34,510 Well, 250 00:12:35,170 --> 00:12:39,210 I suppose, I mean, he does have a habit of trimming his nose hair at the 251 00:12:39,210 --> 00:12:41,870 dressing table and it all goes into my cotton wool. 252 00:12:42,930 --> 00:12:44,150 That is so gross. 253 00:12:44,570 --> 00:12:48,730 Oh, yes, and he cuts his toenails when he has a bath, so when I go for a 254 00:12:48,790 --> 00:12:51,470 I stand on them. OK, that is annoying. 255 00:12:52,110 --> 00:12:58,190 Oh, but if there's one thing he does that really does annoy me, when he does 256 00:12:58,190 --> 00:13:02,110 number two... Oh, Jesus, this is going to be like something with the exorcist. 257 00:13:02,230 --> 00:13:03,490 No, no, no, it's not the noise. 258 00:13:03,690 --> 00:13:08,930 When he comes out, he always says, without fail, well, that was a day's 259 00:13:08,930 --> 00:13:09,930 itself. 260 00:13:10,130 --> 00:13:11,130 Oh, Beth! 261 00:13:12,650 --> 00:13:15,970 I do not know how she has lived with him all these years. 262 00:13:16,650 --> 00:13:21,790 If Eric shat in my loo, I would rip it out and buy a new one. 263 00:13:22,670 --> 00:13:23,670 Poor Eric. 264 00:13:24,110 --> 00:13:26,570 She deserves a medal. 265 00:13:26,830 --> 00:13:28,010 Oh, he's all right. 266 00:13:29,090 --> 00:13:35,170 Why? All that running backwards and forwards that you do for him while he 267 00:13:35,170 --> 00:13:36,670 sits back in his chair. 268 00:13:37,990 --> 00:13:40,090 Eric did his bit around the house. 269 00:13:42,670 --> 00:13:45,730 He just sits there and treats her like a maid. 270 00:13:46,050 --> 00:13:49,670 All that tea, coffee, lunch, dinner. 271 00:13:49,990 --> 00:13:54,010 It's no remote control. It should be sat in the arm of that chair. It's a 272 00:13:54,010 --> 00:13:55,010 fucking bell. 273 00:13:55,670 --> 00:14:00,510 Excuse me. If there's anyone who treats me like a maid, it's not Eric. It's you. 274 00:14:02,290 --> 00:14:03,810 Oh. Oh. 275 00:14:05,230 --> 00:14:06,230 Me? 276 00:14:08,040 --> 00:14:11,740 At least Eric does occasionally roll his sleeves up and, you know, lend a hand. 277 00:14:11,960 --> 00:14:16,320 All you ever do is waltz in, plonk yourself down and tell me to put the 278 00:14:16,320 --> 00:14:17,320 on. 279 00:14:20,340 --> 00:14:26,140 Oh, I'm only kidding, Christine. 280 00:14:29,700 --> 00:14:30,700 Christine! 281 00:14:31,820 --> 00:14:34,160 Oh, yes, you have it. 282 00:14:34,900 --> 00:14:37,340 Oh, I'm teasing, for goodness sake. 283 00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:39,000 No. 284 00:14:39,360 --> 00:14:44,320 I've obviously been unaware that I am such a burden to you. 285 00:14:45,860 --> 00:14:48,100 You are not a burden. 286 00:14:48,980 --> 00:14:51,780 I'm just saying Eric's not as bad as you make out. 287 00:14:53,060 --> 00:14:55,920 I really don't think Beth meant anything by it, Christine. 288 00:14:56,280 --> 00:14:57,880 You're taking it the wrong way. 289 00:14:58,100 --> 00:14:59,260 No, no, no, no, no. 290 00:14:59,720 --> 00:15:03,140 You have made yourself perfectly clear. 291 00:15:03,940 --> 00:15:06,840 I know where I stand now. 292 00:15:07,310 --> 00:15:09,770 And it is absolutely fine. 293 00:15:11,810 --> 00:15:12,810 Christine. 294 00:15:14,410 --> 00:15:16,830 You can't be a good girl tonight, eh, Beth? 295 00:15:31,250 --> 00:15:33,670 I'm so sorry about this, Michelle. 296 00:15:34,030 --> 00:15:34,929 Beth, don't worry. 297 00:15:34,930 --> 00:15:36,810 I know you didn't mean anything by it. 298 00:15:37,200 --> 00:15:39,140 I was only kidding on. I know. 299 00:15:39,340 --> 00:15:42,640 I didn't for one minute think she'd react like this. 300 00:15:43,280 --> 00:15:45,260 Honestly, Beth, it's not your fault. 301 00:15:46,340 --> 00:15:49,720 Michelle, I feel like I've spoiled the whole night. 302 00:15:50,140 --> 00:15:51,140 Don't be daft. 303 00:15:51,380 --> 00:15:54,440 And you've gone through so much trouble organising it. 304 00:15:55,180 --> 00:15:56,980 Maybe I should go home. 305 00:15:57,260 --> 00:15:58,260 You know what? 306 00:15:58,560 --> 00:16:01,160 We're going to sort this out right now. 307 00:16:03,440 --> 00:16:04,440 Come on. 308 00:16:06,700 --> 00:16:08,780 Look, Christine, this is us. 309 00:16:09,320 --> 00:16:12,160 I organised tonight so we can all get together and have a laugh. 310 00:16:12,460 --> 00:16:14,860 Not sit around being miserable having fallouts. 311 00:16:15,140 --> 00:16:17,040 I think you and Beth need to sort this out. 312 00:16:18,840 --> 00:16:23,860 Christine, I am sorry if I upset you with what I said. It was just a silly 313 00:16:23,860 --> 00:16:26,420 comment. I didn't mean anything by it. 314 00:16:27,240 --> 00:16:29,780 And I certainly didn't mean to offend you. 315 00:16:30,720 --> 00:16:32,220 I'm really very sorry. 316 00:16:33,020 --> 00:16:35,260 Make her go on her knees. 317 00:16:41,320 --> 00:16:45,740 You are welcome at my house any time you like. 318 00:16:47,120 --> 00:16:52,160 And I'd be happy to make you a cup of tea or whatever you want, whenever you 319 00:16:52,160 --> 00:16:53,160 want it. 320 00:16:57,300 --> 00:16:59,140 Whenever I want? Yes. 321 00:16:59,940 --> 00:17:01,320 Whenever I want it? 322 00:17:01,580 --> 00:17:02,580 Yes. 323 00:17:06,220 --> 00:17:09,940 I suppose if you get that toasty machine fixed and start knocking out the tuna 324 00:17:09,940 --> 00:17:12,780 melts again, we can put this behind us. 325 00:17:15,440 --> 00:17:16,819 Oh, yay! 326 00:17:20,839 --> 00:17:26,780 Bless you, Beth. And listen, you just let me know whenever you want to come 327 00:17:26,780 --> 00:17:28,540 mine for a wee cup of coffee. 328 00:17:29,120 --> 00:17:32,640 Really? Oh, it would be my pleasure. 329 00:17:33,200 --> 00:17:34,520 I'll pop in tomorrow, then. 330 00:17:35,720 --> 00:17:37,240 No, sorry, babe, not tomorrow. 331 00:17:39,500 --> 00:17:41,800 How are you getting on with that cardi? 332 00:17:42,340 --> 00:17:44,900 Next year, it's a fucking voucher. 333 00:17:47,180 --> 00:17:48,180 OK, 334 00:17:49,760 --> 00:17:51,940 ladies, let's get this party started. 335 00:17:52,440 --> 00:17:54,420 Oh, yes, Michelle. 336 00:17:55,640 --> 00:17:58,540 Come on, everybody up. Oh, Michelle. 337 00:17:58,920 --> 00:18:01,420 Come on, Christy, you too. 338 00:18:21,720 --> 00:18:24,840 That's me, that's me That's knackered me 339 00:18:37,100 --> 00:18:38,200 Watch, you're sitting on your knitting. 340 00:18:38,660 --> 00:18:39,660 Oh, oh. 341 00:18:39,720 --> 00:18:40,720 Oh, 342 00:18:41,420 --> 00:18:43,540 let's see. Give us a look. 343 00:18:43,840 --> 00:18:44,719 Oh, there. 344 00:18:44,720 --> 00:18:47,500 Oh. It's more finished, obviously. 345 00:18:48,420 --> 00:18:49,540 Coming on, Christine. 346 00:18:50,020 --> 00:18:51,380 I love the wee elephant. 347 00:18:51,860 --> 00:18:53,280 You've got a talent for that, missus. 348 00:18:53,580 --> 00:18:58,580 Oh, I am. I'm actually going to have plenty of this wool left over if you 349 00:18:58,580 --> 00:19:01,420 me to knit you a scarf or a wee rasta hat. 350 00:19:02,400 --> 00:19:05,940 Oh, well, maybe finish the cardi first and see what's left. 351 00:19:06,760 --> 00:19:09,900 Madison will love it. A wee cardi from her gran. 352 00:19:10,220 --> 00:19:12,940 Aw, it must be so hard being so far away. 353 00:19:13,320 --> 00:19:14,320 It is, Michelle. 354 00:19:14,560 --> 00:19:18,480 I just feel as if I've missed out on so much, you know. 355 00:19:19,020 --> 00:19:20,360 Her first tooth. 356 00:19:20,940 --> 00:19:22,820 Her first go at the potty. 357 00:19:23,340 --> 00:19:25,440 First time getting lost in Asda. 358 00:19:26,360 --> 00:19:28,360 Is there no way you can see her more often? 359 00:19:30,040 --> 00:19:31,320 You could move. 360 00:19:33,390 --> 00:19:37,870 You don't need to move. There's all sorts of ways of keeping in touch these 361 00:19:37,870 --> 00:19:42,030 days. Oh, yeah. My friends, Mum and Dad, they film me messages on their phones 362 00:19:42,030 --> 00:19:43,770 and send to the grandkids in New Zealand. 363 00:19:44,310 --> 00:19:45,310 Oh. 364 00:19:45,510 --> 00:19:49,830 Well, we can film anything you want. 365 00:19:50,590 --> 00:19:53,930 Things to let Madison see what your life is like, what you get up to. 366 00:19:54,370 --> 00:19:55,370 Oh. 367 00:19:56,010 --> 00:19:59,910 Well, maybe she could film me going up to the chip shop. 368 00:20:00,170 --> 00:20:01,149 Uh -huh. 369 00:20:01,150 --> 00:20:07,470 And then I could show wee Madison me place in my order and then the salt and 370 00:20:07,470 --> 00:20:08,750 stuff getting put on. 371 00:20:09,030 --> 00:20:09,969 There's one. 372 00:20:09,970 --> 00:20:15,410 I could film me going up to the doctors and Marion behind the desk could say 373 00:20:15,410 --> 00:20:18,790 hello and show her all the mental health pamphlets. 374 00:20:19,730 --> 00:20:22,210 What else? 375 00:20:23,290 --> 00:20:25,310 What else do I do with my life? 376 00:20:27,150 --> 00:20:29,950 I think that might be it. 377 00:20:31,910 --> 00:20:35,210 There's lots of things you could record and send to her. 378 00:20:35,430 --> 00:20:40,110 And then in years to come, she'll have all those memories of her gran to look 379 00:20:40,110 --> 00:20:41,110 back on. 380 00:20:42,070 --> 00:20:45,010 I wish I had some videos of my granny I could watch. 381 00:20:45,950 --> 00:20:47,730 Do you miss her, do you? 382 00:20:47,930 --> 00:20:48,930 I do, yeah. 383 00:20:49,470 --> 00:20:51,130 She was such a brilliant woman. 384 00:20:51,590 --> 00:20:55,350 I mean, she had hardly any money of her own, but she would always buy us a wee 385 00:20:55,350 --> 00:20:57,350 toy or a wee sweetie from the shop. 386 00:20:58,480 --> 00:21:01,580 She was just one of those people that put everybody else first. 387 00:21:03,600 --> 00:21:04,600 Oh. 388 00:21:08,020 --> 00:21:09,020 I'm sorry. 389 00:21:09,380 --> 00:21:11,660 I knew if I spoke about it, I'd get upset. 390 00:21:12,160 --> 00:21:13,240 Oh, don't you worry. 391 00:21:13,780 --> 00:21:15,020 Let it out, Michelle. 392 00:21:15,340 --> 00:21:16,340 Let it out. 393 00:21:17,140 --> 00:21:19,840 I'll go and get you a wee drop of loo roll. 394 00:21:21,480 --> 00:21:22,480 Oh. 395 00:21:22,960 --> 00:21:23,960 Thanks. 396 00:21:28,580 --> 00:21:29,580 Silly. No. 397 00:21:30,640 --> 00:21:31,940 You're all so brilliant. 398 00:21:32,220 --> 00:21:33,220 Aw. 399 00:21:33,500 --> 00:21:35,120 I'm so glad you came. 400 00:21:37,000 --> 00:21:38,020 Especially you, Cathy. 401 00:21:40,560 --> 00:21:41,940 Oh, thanks, Michelle. 402 00:21:43,840 --> 00:21:49,140 Seriously, I know I've not always hit it off, but... What are you talking about? 403 00:21:50,180 --> 00:21:54,920 Oh, it's just sometimes I get a wee feeling that you've maybe got a bit of a 404 00:21:54,920 --> 00:21:55,920 problem with me. 405 00:21:56,280 --> 00:21:57,280 Me? 406 00:21:57,630 --> 00:21:58,990 A problem? Where are you getting that from? 407 00:22:00,770 --> 00:22:05,930 Oh, I don't know. It's just sometimes a feeling I get when we see each other. 408 00:22:10,850 --> 00:22:11,850 But you know what? 409 00:22:13,110 --> 00:22:14,750 Maybe I'm just imagining it. 410 00:22:15,270 --> 00:22:16,770 Whatever, it doesn't matter. 411 00:22:17,190 --> 00:22:18,790 I just want us to be friends. 412 00:22:19,650 --> 00:22:21,510 Oh, that's so nice. 413 00:22:22,730 --> 00:22:24,550 Isn't that nice, Cathy? 414 00:22:26,250 --> 00:22:27,250 Uh -huh. 415 00:22:28,010 --> 00:22:29,010 Give us a hug. 416 00:22:29,430 --> 00:22:30,430 What? 417 00:22:31,370 --> 00:22:32,650 Give us a hug. 418 00:22:38,130 --> 00:22:39,130 Faith. 419 00:22:44,130 --> 00:22:45,130 No. 420 00:22:49,290 --> 00:22:50,290 No. 421 00:22:53,650 --> 00:22:54,910 Just give it one here. 422 00:23:00,920 --> 00:23:02,700 OK, that's enough. 423 00:23:03,480 --> 00:23:04,480 Thank you. 424 00:23:04,660 --> 00:23:05,660 That's enough. 425 00:23:09,500 --> 00:23:10,500 There you are. 426 00:23:12,700 --> 00:23:14,000 Oh, dear. 427 00:23:15,120 --> 00:23:16,560 What time is it? 428 00:23:17,040 --> 00:23:19,240 Don't you even think about leaving, missus? 429 00:23:19,760 --> 00:23:20,760 It's still early. 430 00:23:21,060 --> 00:23:22,800 And we've not even watched the film yet. 431 00:23:23,100 --> 00:23:25,160 What film are we getting, Michelle? 432 00:23:26,040 --> 00:23:27,040 Anyone you want. 433 00:23:27,340 --> 00:23:28,760 Have you got Predator, Michelle? 434 00:23:29,310 --> 00:23:32,150 I was thinking more of a girly film. 435 00:23:32,390 --> 00:23:38,070 What about Crocodile Dundee? What about Grease? We're not watching fucking 436 00:23:38,070 --> 00:23:39,130 Grease. 437 00:23:39,930 --> 00:23:42,910 No. What about Dirty Dancing? 438 00:23:43,310 --> 00:23:49,490 Oh, Dirty Dancing. I absolutely love that film. What about something actually 439 00:23:49,490 --> 00:23:50,490 dirty? 440 00:23:50,730 --> 00:23:53,910 What? Something where they go all the way. 441 00:23:55,510 --> 00:23:56,950 Let's watch a porno. 442 00:23:59,240 --> 00:24:01,380 Kathy. Come on, just for a laugh. 443 00:24:01,600 --> 00:24:04,320 No. Well, don't tell me you've never seen one. 444 00:24:06,900 --> 00:24:10,020 Me? Yeah, of course I've seen one. 445 00:24:10,260 --> 00:24:11,320 Well, what do you like? 446 00:24:12,260 --> 00:24:15,640 What? What sort of stuff are you into? 447 00:24:16,360 --> 00:24:17,360 Oh, Kathy. 448 00:24:17,680 --> 00:24:20,600 Well, I've only seen little bits of some, to be honest. 449 00:24:21,740 --> 00:24:23,120 Oh, much the same, Michelle. 450 00:24:23,560 --> 00:24:26,300 Plumber turns up at the door to fix the sink. 451 00:24:26,640 --> 00:24:30,700 Next thing you know, he's got his dungarees around his ankles and she's up 452 00:24:30,700 --> 00:24:32,700 the kitchen table writhing like an eel. 453 00:24:33,300 --> 00:24:35,460 I know, it's all different now. It's all online. 454 00:24:35,920 --> 00:24:37,600 Different categories and stuff. 455 00:24:38,320 --> 00:24:39,400 What do you mean, categories? 456 00:24:39,840 --> 00:24:41,020 Michelle, where's your laptop? 457 00:24:41,420 --> 00:24:44,500 Oh, Michelle, girls' night. Bit of fun. 458 00:24:46,760 --> 00:24:49,720 I cannot believe we're doing this. 459 00:24:51,080 --> 00:24:52,080 Oh, boom. 460 00:24:54,480 --> 00:24:57,820 I'm going to get a glass of water. Can I get anybody anything else? 461 00:24:58,300 --> 00:25:02,520 Oh, well, if we're watching pornography, Beth, I'll take a coffee. 462 00:25:04,820 --> 00:25:07,380 Hey, what's your password? 463 00:25:08,920 --> 00:25:09,920 Shelley86. 464 00:25:11,140 --> 00:25:16,860 Here we go. 465 00:25:17,960 --> 00:25:21,200 Here along the top is all the different categories of stuff. 466 00:25:21,560 --> 00:25:25,240 It's not that dissimilar to the layout of the B andQ site. 467 00:25:26,120 --> 00:25:27,520 OK, so what shall we watch? 468 00:25:28,000 --> 00:25:34,660 There's amateurs, anal, Asian, big tits, big dick, blowjob, bondage, bi -MMF. 469 00:25:35,020 --> 00:25:36,020 What's that? 470 00:25:36,140 --> 00:25:37,460 Bisexual, male, male, female. 471 00:25:37,660 --> 00:25:39,360 It's actually quite good. 472 00:25:39,680 --> 00:25:41,700 Cathy, just pick something not too strong. 473 00:25:41,960 --> 00:25:42,960 OK. 474 00:25:45,500 --> 00:25:46,500 Oh. 475 00:25:47,120 --> 00:25:50,220 Beth, Beth, interracial threesome or underwater handjob? 476 00:25:50,720 --> 00:25:51,720 Both. 477 00:26:06,920 --> 00:26:08,620 Ponytail's just getting in the road. 478 00:26:08,880 --> 00:26:10,600 She said, have that up my bun. 479 00:26:17,640 --> 00:26:18,579 All right? 480 00:26:18,580 --> 00:26:19,580 You all right? 481 00:26:19,840 --> 00:26:20,739 Good, aye. 482 00:26:20,740 --> 00:26:21,740 Hi, Alan. 483 00:26:25,580 --> 00:26:28,120 So you had a nice night? 484 00:26:28,540 --> 00:26:29,399 Aye, good. 485 00:26:29,400 --> 00:26:30,379 How was yours? 486 00:26:30,380 --> 00:26:31,720 Yeah, it's been great, hasn't it? 487 00:26:31,940 --> 00:26:32,940 Yeah, it's lovely. 488 00:26:33,140 --> 00:26:35,080 Had a few drinks, a nice chat. 489 00:26:35,440 --> 00:26:40,240 Oh, yeah, I might get a wee bit upset, but they were all brilliant and we had a 490 00:26:40,240 --> 00:26:41,240 nice wee hug, didn't we? 491 00:26:41,400 --> 00:26:42,400 Yeah. 492 00:26:42,890 --> 00:26:44,750 Oh, and we had the music on as well. 493 00:26:45,010 --> 00:26:48,430 Oh, yeah, we were up dancing and Christine was showing us her moves, 494 00:26:48,430 --> 00:26:49,730 you? Aye, I was. 495 00:26:50,430 --> 00:26:53,690 And then that was us just making a satin of porn there, Alan. 496 00:26:56,510 --> 00:27:03,370 Thank you 497 00:27:03,370 --> 00:27:05,170 so much, Michelle. 498 00:27:05,410 --> 00:27:06,490 Just lovely. 499 00:27:06,890 --> 00:27:07,890 Oh, you're welcome. 500 00:27:08,110 --> 00:27:09,250 You should do it more often. 501 00:27:09,450 --> 00:27:10,450 Oh, yeah. 502 00:27:12,149 --> 00:27:13,149 Thanks, Michelle. 503 00:27:13,470 --> 00:27:16,770 And you let me know if you want me to help you with that thing for Madison, 504 00:27:16,770 --> 00:27:17,549 wee video. 505 00:27:17,550 --> 00:27:22,350 Aye. Oh, and maybe we could try to do something on Tuesday when it's blue 506 00:27:23,510 --> 00:27:24,510 Yes. 507 00:27:25,270 --> 00:27:26,270 Thanks, hen. 508 00:27:26,930 --> 00:27:27,930 Thanks, Michelle. 509 00:27:29,350 --> 00:27:30,350 Right, come on. 510 00:27:31,730 --> 00:27:34,010 Thanks for coming, Kathy. 511 00:27:34,530 --> 00:27:35,790 Oh, no bother, Michelle. 512 00:27:39,370 --> 00:27:40,710 It's so good to see you. 513 00:27:41,100 --> 00:27:43,960 Oh, I was actually saying Colin quite a lot in my head tonight. 514 00:27:44,340 --> 00:27:46,760 I've just taken that bottle of Sambuca with me. 515 00:27:48,980 --> 00:27:49,980 Bye now. 516 00:27:50,060 --> 00:27:52,040 Bye. See you later. 517 00:27:54,060 --> 00:27:59,160 So you had a good night then? 518 00:27:59,560 --> 00:28:00,680 Aye, not bad, aye. 519 00:28:00,980 --> 00:28:01,980 How's Davy? 520 00:28:02,100 --> 00:28:03,740 Aye, fine, aye. 521 00:28:04,060 --> 00:28:05,320 Have you split up, Belinda? 522 00:28:05,880 --> 00:28:07,180 Don't know, never asked. 523 00:28:09,480 --> 00:28:13,100 Right, well, I think I'm ready to head up there. 524 00:28:13,700 --> 00:28:14,700 Are you? 525 00:28:15,800 --> 00:28:18,840 Do you fancy coming up too? 526 00:28:19,880 --> 00:28:20,880 Oh, far. 527 00:28:21,180 --> 00:28:22,180 Uh -huh. 528 00:28:22,580 --> 00:28:23,580 Aye, all right. 529 00:28:24,060 --> 00:28:25,740 Two texts till I got a wee glass of milk. 530 00:28:26,120 --> 00:28:27,540 We ended up going for an Indian. 531 00:28:28,860 --> 00:28:29,860 Oh.