1
00:00:04,520 --> 00:00:08,720
What would we do, baby, without us?

2
00:00:09,780 --> 00:00:14,420
What would we do, baby, without us?

3
00:00:15,660 --> 00:00:20,340
And there ain't no nothing we can't love
each other through.

4
00:00:21,100 --> 00:00:26,000
What would we do, baby, without us?

5
00:00:26,680 --> 00:00:28,040
Sha -la -la -la.

6
00:00:35,570 --> 00:00:38,150
Where's Andy? He was supposed to be down
15 minutes ago. Upstairs getting

7
00:00:38,150 --> 00:00:41,310
dressed. Not yet. It's his first day of
kindergarten, Mom. He doesn't want to be

8
00:00:41,310 --> 00:00:45,210
late. Most of the kids I knew were late
for kindergarten never bounced back.

9
00:00:46,710 --> 00:00:47,710
Some are unemployed.

10
00:00:48,490 --> 00:00:49,490
Some are in jail.

11
00:00:50,570 --> 00:00:51,990
The rest are at Grant College.

12
00:00:54,830 --> 00:00:57,570
Seems like yesterday we were taking you
to your first day of kindergarten.

13
00:00:58,290 --> 00:00:59,690
What a nightmare that was.

14
00:01:00,920 --> 00:01:01,980
I thought it went rather smoothly.

15
00:01:02,900 --> 00:01:05,760
No, as soon as you found out that your
kindergarten teacher's name was Mrs.

16
00:01:05,940 --> 00:01:08,020
McGovern, you became hysterical.

17
00:01:10,200 --> 00:01:13,500
We could not convince you that she
wasn't related to George McGovern.

18
00:01:14,340 --> 00:01:17,180
You kept screaming, Nixon's the one,
four more years.

19
00:01:18,400 --> 00:01:21,460
Jennifer, I'm telling you, you look
great. I just want a second opinion.

20
00:01:21,500 --> 00:01:22,500
what do you think of this blouse?

21
00:01:22,640 --> 00:01:23,960
The blouse is fine.

22
00:01:24,300 --> 00:01:25,300
Where'd you get the pants?

23
00:01:25,500 --> 00:01:26,700
Mel and I went shopping yesterday.

24
00:01:27,380 --> 00:01:28,560
Well, how'd they get so ripped?

25
00:01:29,220 --> 00:01:30,300
We had them done at the store.

26
00:01:31,860 --> 00:01:34,600
Costs a little extra, but it's worth it
to get them ripped professionally, huh?

27
00:01:36,480 --> 00:01:38,620
Jen, you're not wearing those pants to
school.

28
00:01:39,280 --> 00:01:42,180
Why? When you and Dad were at school,
all your clothes were ripped. I've seen

29
00:01:42,180 --> 00:01:43,800
pictures. That's different.

30
00:01:44,200 --> 00:01:45,200
Why?

31
00:01:46,160 --> 00:01:47,160
I'll go ask your father.

32
00:01:48,460 --> 00:01:52,560
Jan, I'm telling you, you are going to
do great in high school. Yeah, Jan, what

33
00:01:52,560 --> 00:01:56,380
are you worried about? This is Harding
High. This is my alma mater. I'm a

34
00:01:56,380 --> 00:01:57,339
there.

35
00:01:57,340 --> 00:02:01,100
Andy, Andy, let's get to work, buddy.
You got a lot of ground to cover here.

36
00:02:01,600 --> 00:02:03,640
First day of kindergarten, you want to
get off to a good start, right?

37
00:02:03,860 --> 00:02:04,860
I'm ready, Alex.

38
00:02:05,720 --> 00:02:08,139
Now, the first thing your teacher's
going to ask is what you did over the

39
00:02:08,139 --> 00:02:11,480
summer. Now, a lot of kids are going to
say, I went to the zoo, or I went to the

40
00:02:11,480 --> 00:02:13,660
beach, or I went to a baseball game.
What are you going to say?

41
00:02:13,920 --> 00:02:16,140
I watched the Iran contrarians.

42
00:02:20,680 --> 00:02:21,680
And?

43
00:02:22,080 --> 00:02:23,760
President Reagan doesn't know anything.

44
00:02:25,460 --> 00:02:28,660
He doesn't know anything about the
scandal.

45
00:02:29,459 --> 00:02:31,640
Okay, you don't want to be quoted out of
context.

46
00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:36,920
I was creeping over a thousand times.

47
00:02:37,660 --> 00:02:40,240
Just humor me, okay?

48
00:02:41,140 --> 00:02:45,440
Because our ripped pants were a
political statement.

49
00:02:48,440 --> 00:02:54,060
What? That's why we could wear ripped
pants to school and you can't.

50
00:02:57,350 --> 00:02:59,670
Forget about the pants for a minute.
What do you think of the blouse?

51
00:02:59,870 --> 00:03:02,730
The blouse I like. It's hip. It's rad.
It's gnarly.

52
00:03:05,450 --> 00:03:06,570
You'll have to change it.

53
00:03:07,350 --> 00:03:11,030
Okay, Kate, the school bus is leaving in
15 minutes. First stop, kindergarten.

54
00:03:12,050 --> 00:03:13,050
Coming, Alex?

55
00:03:13,790 --> 00:03:15,430
I'd have to be on campus till 11, Dad.

56
00:03:15,670 --> 00:03:16,970
Tough schedule at Leland, huh?

57
00:03:18,010 --> 00:03:21,190
Now, considering you go to a college
that offers a graduate program in

58
00:03:21,190 --> 00:03:24,770
pursuit, I wouldn't start with the
college jokes.

59
00:03:25,290 --> 00:03:27,970
For your information, it's not a class.
It's a psychology experiment.

60
00:03:28,470 --> 00:03:29,990
I didn't know you had an interest in
psychology.

61
00:03:30,590 --> 00:03:32,510
I don't. I have an interest in money.

62
00:03:33,350 --> 00:03:34,450
Yes, you've mentioned that.

63
00:03:35,790 --> 00:03:39,190
Some psych major's doing a paper on
overachievers.

64
00:03:39,650 --> 00:03:42,510
I put an ad in the Leland Gazette
looking for participants, so I thought

65
00:03:42,510 --> 00:03:43,499
apply.

66
00:03:43,500 --> 00:03:46,280
It's 100 bucks if you would make the guy
like me text.

67
00:03:46,700 --> 00:03:48,580
Oh, well, when they find out, please let
us know.

68
00:03:53,540 --> 00:03:55,240
Chester, please, I'm trying to work
here.

69
00:03:57,480 --> 00:03:58,480
Are you hungry?

70
00:04:00,100 --> 00:04:01,120
What are you in the mood for?

71
00:04:03,600 --> 00:04:05,600
Where did you learn the sign for
McNugget?

72
00:04:09,500 --> 00:04:11,060
Thanks. I know it's the door.

73
00:04:14,890 --> 00:04:15,890
Hello, can I help you?

74
00:04:16,029 --> 00:04:17,029
Hello.

75
00:04:18,570 --> 00:04:20,250
Alice F. Keaton, overachiever.

76
00:04:22,630 --> 00:04:24,590
Good, I'm Lauren Miller. Come in.
Thanks.

77
00:04:25,130 --> 00:04:26,130
Come on, Chester.

78
00:04:26,170 --> 00:04:27,950
Lunchtime. He wants big nuggets.

79
00:04:28,230 --> 00:04:29,230
Again?

80
00:04:31,490 --> 00:04:33,170
I'm not going to look like that when
you're done with me.

81
00:04:35,110 --> 00:04:38,950
No, no, no. Chester's here learning sign
language. He has over 300 word

82
00:04:38,950 --> 00:04:40,650
vocabulary. That's incredible.

83
00:04:41,930 --> 00:04:43,670
I have a sister who gets by on half
that.

84
00:04:48,780 --> 00:04:49,780
Thanks very much.

85
00:04:52,140 --> 00:04:55,300
So, have you ever been the subject of a
psychological profile before?

86
00:04:55,580 --> 00:04:57,040
Well, not officially, Warren.

87
00:04:57,280 --> 00:05:00,920
Although my younger sister Jennifer was
in the fifth grade. She did a paper on a

88
00:05:00,920 --> 00:05:02,260
member of the family. Chose me.

89
00:05:02,500 --> 00:05:03,459
That's sweet.

90
00:05:03,460 --> 00:05:04,680
I still remember the title.

91
00:05:05,040 --> 00:05:06,180
He ain't heavy.

92
00:05:07,560 --> 00:05:08,560
But he's annoying.

93
00:05:11,460 --> 00:05:14,000
Well, this study will probably be a
little different.

94
00:05:14,600 --> 00:05:16,180
Although I do like that title.

95
00:05:18,540 --> 00:05:19,720
Let me see your resume, please. Sure.

96
00:05:21,600 --> 00:05:26,140
There you

97
00:05:26,140 --> 00:05:30,800
go. Member of Phi Beta Kappa.

98
00:05:31,580 --> 00:05:33,380
President of the Young Entrepreneurs
Club.

99
00:05:33,980 --> 00:05:35,820
President of the Young Businessmen's
Club.

100
00:05:36,400 --> 00:05:39,440
President of the Alliance of Young
Entrepreneurs and Young Businessmen.

101
00:05:39,940 --> 00:05:41,840
Thank God someone finally got them
together.

102
00:05:43,260 --> 00:05:44,540
Well, it wasn't really that hard.

103
00:05:45,150 --> 00:05:46,330
The only member of both clubs.

104
00:05:50,730 --> 00:05:54,050
Winner of the McKinley Fellowship, the
Rotary Scholarship, the Wilson

105
00:05:54,050 --> 00:05:56,230
Scholarship. Alex, this is really
impressive.

106
00:05:57,150 --> 00:06:00,010
Seems like the only thing you haven't
won yet is the Miss America contest.

107
00:06:00,910 --> 00:06:02,110
Well, you know, that's all political.

108
00:06:04,510 --> 00:06:06,990
I'm really glad that you'll be a part of
this study. You mean I'm accepted?

109
00:06:07,790 --> 00:06:10,350
Accepted? Alex, you are the classic
overachiever.

110
00:06:11,130 --> 00:06:12,910
You're the Babe Ruth of overachievers.

111
00:06:16,320 --> 00:06:17,540
We can start on Tuesday.

112
00:06:17,800 --> 00:06:19,380
The sessions will run about an hour.

113
00:06:19,680 --> 00:06:22,020
Of course, you'll be paid for your
participation.

114
00:06:22,780 --> 00:06:25,060
Hey, come on. Forget about it.

115
00:06:25,660 --> 00:06:27,280
No, it's really not necessary.

116
00:06:27,520 --> 00:06:31,340
It's reward enough for me to be able to
help a fellow student in pursuit of

117
00:06:31,340 --> 00:06:32,340
academic knowledge.

118
00:06:32,500 --> 00:06:34,080
Well, it's $50 a session.

119
00:06:39,530 --> 00:06:40,530
The ad said 100.

120
00:06:41,250 --> 00:06:44,830
No, no, it's 100 for schizophrenics and
50 for overachievers.

121
00:06:45,630 --> 00:06:46,630
What?

122
00:06:47,010 --> 00:06:49,630
What, are you getting a two -for -one
deal on schizophrenics?

123
00:06:53,410 --> 00:06:56,530
No, we just have variable rates
depending on the particular study.

124
00:06:56,890 --> 00:06:58,630
Now, we can begin... The ad said 100.

125
00:06:59,050 --> 00:07:00,410
No, I've got it right here.

126
00:07:00,990 --> 00:07:06,710
You see, 100 for schizophrenics... 85
for manic depressants and 50 for

127
00:07:06,710 --> 00:07:07,710
overachievers.

128
00:07:08,250 --> 00:07:09,370
I don't believe this.

129
00:07:09,630 --> 00:07:11,770
I'm being penalized for being normal.

130
00:07:12,330 --> 00:07:16,470
Anyone who merged the young businessmen
and the young entrepreneurs is not

131
00:07:16,470 --> 00:07:17,470
normal.

132
00:07:20,590 --> 00:07:23,670
Ooh. Ooh. What is that supposed to mean?

133
00:07:23,890 --> 00:07:28,050
It means that all you overachievers are
exactly the same. You know, all you care

134
00:07:28,050 --> 00:07:29,510
about is how much money you're getting
paid.

135
00:07:30,110 --> 00:07:33,290
Well, what happened to the idea of
helping a fellow student in the pursuit

136
00:07:33,290 --> 00:07:34,290
academic knowledge?

137
00:07:34,390 --> 00:07:38,970
I wouldn't exactly call a psychology
experiment academic knowledge.

138
00:07:39,390 --> 00:07:40,410
What's wrong with psychology?

139
00:07:40,830 --> 00:07:43,890
Nothing, nothing. It has its place right
up there with all the other make

140
00:07:43,890 --> 00:07:44,890
-believe disciplines.

141
00:07:47,170 --> 00:07:48,170
Like anthropology,

142
00:07:48,910 --> 00:07:52,430
sociology, my personal favorite, women's
studies.

143
00:07:55,610 --> 00:07:59,390
Well, for your information, Mr. Keaton,
psychology is a very real discipline.

144
00:08:00,060 --> 00:08:03,000
But, of course, I know it's not as
exciting as sitting in a business class

145
00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:06,720
learning how to take over the world in
one huge multinational merger. All

146
00:08:06,760 --> 00:08:09,600
okay, all right. Don't start knocking
business majors just because we don't

147
00:08:09,600 --> 00:08:12,560
time to sit around and get in touch with
our feelings. No, I know you don't.

148
00:08:12,800 --> 00:08:14,920
That's because you're too busy getting
in touch with your brokers.

149
00:08:15,940 --> 00:08:17,240
You leave my broker out of this.

150
00:08:19,720 --> 00:08:20,720
I'll tell you what.

151
00:08:21,020 --> 00:08:24,760
I don't know if you business... economic
yuppie republican overachievers have

152
00:08:24,760 --> 00:08:29,360
any feelings to get in touch with oh oh
really oh well i've got a feeling i got

153
00:08:29,360 --> 00:08:33,539
a feeling that this whole thing is a
mistake i see i know where this study is

154
00:08:33,539 --> 00:08:36,880
going you're trying to show that just
because i am an overachiever that i have

155
00:08:36,880 --> 00:08:41,240
no soul that all i care about is money
well let me tell you something missy you

156
00:08:41,240 --> 00:08:45,820
are wrong and i'm not doing this for a
penny less than 75

157
00:08:52,709 --> 00:08:54,030
Hey, sorry I'm so late.

158
00:08:54,750 --> 00:08:56,150
How'd the psychology session go?

159
00:08:56,470 --> 00:08:58,990
Oh, Ma, if you don't mind, I'd rather
not talk about it.

160
00:08:59,250 --> 00:09:03,630
Sorry? I had a great first day. I've
taken this biology course. I thought

161
00:09:03,630 --> 00:09:06,110
be really boring, but I found a way to
relate it to my major.

162
00:09:08,650 --> 00:09:11,550
Found a way to relate biology and
fashion design?

163
00:09:12,170 --> 00:09:12,869
Uh -huh.

164
00:09:12,870 --> 00:09:17,490
My first research paper is going to be
called Darwin and the Survival of the

165
00:09:17,490 --> 00:09:18,490
Best Fitted.

166
00:09:23,550 --> 00:09:28,350
It's real interesting, honey. My basic
premise is that certain animal species

167
00:09:28,350 --> 00:09:32,630
became extinct for the same reason
certain types of clothes disappear. They

168
00:09:32,630 --> 00:09:33,870
simply go out of style.

169
00:09:37,250 --> 00:09:41,250
In other words, the dinosaur in the
leisure suit suffered the same fate.

170
00:09:44,110 --> 00:09:49,330
I think it's a little more complex than
that, Mallory. See, the dinosaurs became

171
00:09:49,330 --> 00:09:54,610
extinct because of some very severe
climactic changes in the Earth's

172
00:09:54,610 --> 00:09:55,670
temperature. Exactly.

173
00:09:56,090 --> 00:09:58,070
They didn't have a good winter wardrobe.

174
00:10:00,690 --> 00:10:04,650
Meanwhile, the mammals are running
around in stylish fur coats, so they

175
00:10:04,650 --> 00:10:05,650
survived.

176
00:10:07,710 --> 00:10:08,930
That's great, honey.

177
00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:15,820
That's the dumbest thing I've ever
heard. There's no way that happened.

178
00:10:16,260 --> 00:10:17,840
How do you know? Were you there?

179
00:10:19,820 --> 00:10:23,700
I've taken enough history to know that
the dinosaur's problem was not a lack of

180
00:10:23,700 --> 00:10:24,700
earmuffs.

181
00:10:25,320 --> 00:10:26,360
What's your problem tonight?

182
00:10:26,700 --> 00:10:29,240
Yeah, what's bothering you, honey? Did
something go wrong at the psychology

183
00:10:29,240 --> 00:10:33,920
session? I go to see this girl, this
Lauren Miller girl, right? The one

184
00:10:33,920 --> 00:10:35,780
conducting the experiment on
overachievers.

185
00:10:36,340 --> 00:10:37,480
Anyway, things started out fine.

186
00:10:38,270 --> 00:10:42,090
Say hello, you know, exchange a few
pleasantries. The next thing I know, we

187
00:10:42,090 --> 00:10:43,670
into this huge argument about money.

188
00:10:44,390 --> 00:10:47,130
Yeah, in other words, the same thing
that happens when you meet anybody.

189
00:10:49,190 --> 00:10:52,970
Even though the ad clearly stated $100
per session, she tells me that's just

190
00:10:52,970 --> 00:10:55,210
schizophrenics. That's so typical of
psychology.

191
00:10:55,430 --> 00:10:57,750
I'm being paid less money because I only
have one personality.

192
00:10:58,890 --> 00:10:59,890
It's that.

193
00:11:04,110 --> 00:11:07,720
Then... She starts accusing me of being
just like all the other overachievers,

194
00:11:07,760 --> 00:11:11,480
of only being interested in money and,
uh, status, you know?

195
00:11:12,060 --> 00:11:15,120
Not having time for the more emotional
areas of my life. I'm telling you,

196
00:11:15,180 --> 00:11:18,860
nobody's irritated me this much this
fast since the first time I met Alan.

197
00:11:22,140 --> 00:11:23,940
Aw, come on. I know what you're
thinking.

198
00:11:24,240 --> 00:11:27,080
You're thinking I'm falling for this
girl? There's no way. That's not true.

199
00:11:27,640 --> 00:11:29,660
Alex and Lauren sitting in a tree.

200
00:11:36,860 --> 00:11:41,080
Hello. Oh, um, yes, just a second.

201
00:11:41,300 --> 00:11:42,460
Alex, it's Lauren Miller.

202
00:11:42,900 --> 00:11:43,900
It is?

203
00:11:47,760 --> 00:11:49,780
What did you want?

204
00:11:50,080 --> 00:11:53,780
She agrees to 75, and she wants to know
if you'll start Tuesday.

205
00:11:54,220 --> 00:11:59,880
Just tell her I'm eating, all right? No,
tell her I'm in the shower.

206
00:12:00,180 --> 00:12:03,600
No, no, tell her I'm eating in the
shower.

207
00:12:06,800 --> 00:12:09,960
You know, I think he might be able to
get that schizophrenic rate after all.

208
00:12:19,160 --> 00:12:20,840
Yes, Alex is coming back.

209
00:12:32,560 --> 00:12:34,220
Alex B. Keaton, over at Cheever.

210
00:12:40,400 --> 00:12:41,400
So how you doing, buddy?

211
00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:45,460
What does it mean when he holds up his
middle finger like that?

212
00:12:49,860 --> 00:12:51,180
Exactly what you think it means.

213
00:12:55,300 --> 00:12:59,160
Look, Alex, before we get started, I'd
like to officially apologize for my

214
00:12:59,160 --> 00:13:01,500
behavior the other day. It was very
unprofessional.

215
00:13:01,800 --> 00:13:03,220
Look, I'd like to apologize also.

216
00:13:03,440 --> 00:13:05,220
I didn't mean to slander psychology.

217
00:13:06,160 --> 00:13:07,760
It's definitely better than women's
studies.

218
00:13:09,360 --> 00:13:12,700
I'm sorry I criticized your incredible
all -consuming money obsession.

219
00:13:15,380 --> 00:13:17,060
Now you normally exchange your
apologies.

220
00:13:18,340 --> 00:13:19,340
That's all we got.

221
00:13:20,040 --> 00:13:21,580
Shall we get to work, then? Sure.

222
00:13:22,840 --> 00:13:26,740
Whoa, whoa, wait a minute. I don't want
to harp on this money issue, but if

223
00:13:26,740 --> 00:13:30,780
you're going to electrocute me, I'd like
$175 for my family.

224
00:13:33,100 --> 00:13:34,940
Alex, this is just a polygraph machine.

225
00:13:35,560 --> 00:13:38,940
If someone displays undue tension or an
increase in pulse when answering a

226
00:13:38,940 --> 00:13:42,180
question, and the machine buzzes, then I
know they're not telling the truth.

227
00:13:43,140 --> 00:13:44,200
Does it really bother you?

228
00:13:44,940 --> 00:13:46,840
Oh, absolutely not. Absolutely not.

229
00:13:47,540 --> 00:13:48,840
I got nothing to hide.

230
00:13:57,560 --> 00:13:58,459
Oh, good.

231
00:13:58,460 --> 00:13:59,460
It's working.

232
00:14:02,030 --> 00:14:04,850
First, I'd like to ask you a few
questions to see how well you'll fit in

233
00:14:04,850 --> 00:14:05,950
the rest of the subject group.

234
00:14:06,530 --> 00:14:10,210
Now, politically, would you describe
yourself as liberal, middle -of -the

235
00:14:10,330 --> 00:14:11,330
or conservative?

236
00:14:11,510 --> 00:14:14,270
Well, I don't really like political
labels.

237
00:14:18,210 --> 00:14:19,210
Conservative.

238
00:14:19,810 --> 00:14:20,810
Thank you.

239
00:14:21,650 --> 00:14:25,450
Okay, overachievers, they tend to
meticulously plan out every aspect of

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00:14:25,450 --> 00:14:27,130
lives, from graduation to retirement.

241
00:14:27,710 --> 00:14:29,870
Do you see yourself as an obsessive
planner?

242
00:14:30,330 --> 00:14:31,330
Well, me.

243
00:14:34,880 --> 00:14:37,420
No. Well, I wouldn't say obsessive.

244
00:14:41,200 --> 00:14:42,540
I'm a planning maniac.

245
00:14:48,920 --> 00:14:53,180
Now, the typical overachiever is so
focused on classes and career that

246
00:14:53,180 --> 00:14:56,960
not much time left for dating. Would you
say you have a very active social life?

247
00:14:57,940 --> 00:15:00,720
An active, active social life?

248
00:15:01,290 --> 00:15:02,750
Yeah, are you actively dating?

249
00:15:11,870 --> 00:15:15,890
Well, I go out on a couple of dates a
week.

250
00:15:18,050 --> 00:15:19,050
Maybe more.

251
00:15:27,510 --> 00:15:29,990
This particular week was a little low.

252
00:15:32,170 --> 00:15:34,010
This particular year was a little slow.

253
00:15:37,510 --> 00:15:39,930
You're lucky you don't have one of these
strapped to you in real life.

254
00:15:41,230 --> 00:15:45,030
I'm not very good at sitting here and
answering personal questions. Maybe this

255
00:15:45,030 --> 00:15:47,330
is more of a give and take. Maybe if I
ask you some questions.

256
00:15:47,630 --> 00:15:50,930
Alex, I'm not the one that's being
studied here. I'm not the overachiever.

257
00:15:51,150 --> 00:15:52,770
Hey, come on. You can't be doing too
bad.

258
00:15:53,030 --> 00:15:55,870
I mean, not everybody gets to do an
honors thesis in psychology.

259
00:15:56,850 --> 00:15:57,850
Well, that's different.

260
00:15:58,760 --> 00:16:01,600
Psychology has always come very
naturally for me. Even when I was a kid,

261
00:16:01,600 --> 00:16:05,760
was... You really don't want to hear
about this.

262
00:16:05,980 --> 00:16:07,260
No, no, I do. I do.

263
00:16:07,540 --> 00:16:10,220
Really, it'll make us more comfortable
with each other.

264
00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:12,900
I'll be able to lie in a much more
relaxed fashion.

265
00:16:14,580 --> 00:16:18,020
I remember when I was a kid, my mother
came into my room and she was screaming

266
00:16:18,020 --> 00:16:20,200
at me because I'd made this huge mess in
the kitchen.

267
00:16:21,080 --> 00:16:23,220
She must have yelled at me for about an
hour.

268
00:16:23,800 --> 00:16:26,920
When she finished, I looked at her very
calmly and said,

269
00:16:28,140 --> 00:16:29,600
Well, how does that make you feel, Mom?

270
00:16:31,800 --> 00:16:33,160
I must have driven her crazy.

271
00:16:33,980 --> 00:16:37,020
The crazier she got, the more interested
I became in psychology.

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00:16:37,560 --> 00:16:41,300
I mean, all my girlfriends had pictures
of David Cassidy and John Travolta in

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00:16:41,300 --> 00:16:42,300
their lockers at school.

274
00:16:42,760 --> 00:16:44,520
I had this big picture of Freud.

275
00:16:46,240 --> 00:16:49,560
All my friends had pictures of
Jacqueline Smith, Farrah Fawcett.

276
00:16:49,840 --> 00:16:52,640
And I had this big picture of Pat Nixon.

277
00:16:59,610 --> 00:17:02,650
Now that we're more relaxed with each
other, let's get back to work, okay?

278
00:17:03,630 --> 00:17:06,089
Yeah, how about you, Lauren?

279
00:17:06,990 --> 00:17:08,490
Are you actively dating?

280
00:17:10,190 --> 00:17:12,250
That's an area of my life that's in a
holding pattern.

281
00:17:13,310 --> 00:17:18,670
I wish I could be as analytical about
love as you overachievers, but I guess

282
00:17:18,670 --> 00:17:20,550
could say that I'm in the hopeless
romantic category.

283
00:17:21,930 --> 00:17:22,930
Right.

284
00:17:25,010 --> 00:17:27,450
You know, I don't... think that we're
gonna get a lot done today why don't we

285
00:17:27,450 --> 00:17:32,290
just wrap it up or we could just
continue talking about this informally

286
00:17:32,290 --> 00:17:38,890
over a cup of coffee coffee i don't know
is it the beverage problem

287
00:17:38,890 --> 00:17:45,790
no i just we've just got such a great
psychologist overachieving

288
00:17:45,790 --> 00:17:49,290
relationship and i'd hate to see that
change i understand anyway i've got a

289
00:17:49,290 --> 00:17:55,360
class in a couple of minutes sure oh by
the way alex I'd like to come by your

290
00:17:55,360 --> 00:17:57,100
house sometime this week and talk to
your family.

291
00:17:57,440 --> 00:18:00,420
I'd like to get a first -hand look at
each overachiever's home environment.

292
00:18:01,400 --> 00:18:02,400
I'll see you.

293
00:18:03,300 --> 00:18:04,300
That's what I need.

294
00:18:05,060 --> 00:18:06,940
A psychologist who makes house calls.

295
00:18:08,520 --> 00:18:11,480
Oh, great. Good. Everybody's here. Now
is a good time for us to go over what

296
00:18:11,480 --> 00:18:12,760
we're going to say when Lauren gets
here.

297
00:18:13,080 --> 00:18:16,620
Now, Alex, I know exactly what I'm going
to say. I've been waiting 18 years to

298
00:18:16,620 --> 00:18:18,660
discuss you with someone in the mental
health field.

299
00:18:21,570 --> 00:18:24,470
Look, man, you gotta be very careful
what you say to a psychologist.

300
00:18:24,770 --> 00:18:27,930
That's why I've drawn up some
appropriate comments.

301
00:18:31,270 --> 00:18:32,950
Alex is more than a son.

302
00:18:33,810 --> 00:18:34,810
He's a friend.

303
00:18:36,630 --> 00:18:37,630
A companion.

304
00:18:38,090 --> 00:18:41,590
Someone with whom I can spend many happy
hours discussing politics, world

305
00:18:41,590 --> 00:18:42,870
affairs, and current events.

306
00:18:43,910 --> 00:18:46,610
Alex, I'm afraid if I read this aloud,
I'll be struck by lightning.

307
00:18:49,230 --> 00:18:52,970
Mom, please read the Alex is more than a
son speech if dad refuses to.

308
00:18:55,270 --> 00:18:58,050
When I think of Alex, three words come
to mind.

309
00:18:58,490 --> 00:19:00,390
Integrity, intelligence, intellect.

310
00:19:00,890 --> 00:19:04,670
And of course, the soon to be added,
institutionalized.

311
00:19:07,650 --> 00:19:08,810
No improvising.

312
00:19:09,570 --> 00:19:13,710
The thing I love best about Alex is that
whenever I have a problem, he's around.

313
00:19:14,030 --> 00:19:15,990
You are never interested in my problems.

314
00:19:17,300 --> 00:19:18,400
What does it say? I'm interested.

315
00:19:18,620 --> 00:19:19,620
It says I'm around.

316
00:19:21,920 --> 00:19:24,000
The psychologist out there.

317
00:19:24,200 --> 00:19:26,200
Good. There's a crazy person in here.

318
00:19:28,180 --> 00:19:29,180
Lauren.

319
00:19:29,720 --> 00:19:30,720
Everybody,

320
00:19:30,900 --> 00:19:33,660
this is Lauren Miller. Lauren, this is
my father, Stephen Keaton. My mother,

321
00:19:33,720 --> 00:19:37,520
Elise Keaton. Hi, Lauren. Hi. My sister
is Jennifer Mallory, and I guess you met

322
00:19:37,520 --> 00:19:40,960
Andy. I really want to thank you all for
taking the time to talk with me.

323
00:19:41,640 --> 00:19:43,600
Well, why don't we go into the living
room?

324
00:19:44,940 --> 00:19:47,700
You know, Lauren, Alex is more than a
son.

325
00:19:47,940 --> 00:19:49,620
I can't do it.

326
00:19:55,640 --> 00:19:56,640
Andy, Andy.

327
00:19:57,000 --> 00:19:58,000
How's it going in there, buddy?

328
00:19:58,120 --> 00:20:00,580
I'm not sure. Where's the straitjacket,
Ma?

329
00:20:04,680 --> 00:20:08,560
So I said, I don't care how much
interest the money market is making,

330
00:20:08,560 --> 00:20:10,400
don't think it's a very nice gift for
Grandma.

331
00:20:12,500 --> 00:20:13,439
Lauren, Lauren.

332
00:20:13,440 --> 00:20:14,440
Uh, Lauren.

333
00:20:14,570 --> 00:20:16,470
Uh, can I speak to you for a minute?
Sure, what's up?

334
00:20:17,230 --> 00:20:18,230
Nothing.

335
00:20:18,330 --> 00:20:20,290
Uh, we just, we never really had a
chance to say hello.

336
00:20:21,030 --> 00:20:22,030
Hi.

337
00:20:22,190 --> 00:20:23,190
Hi.

338
00:20:24,050 --> 00:20:25,110
Uh, so how's it going in there?

339
00:20:26,410 --> 00:20:30,110
Well, the only thing I can tell you for
sure is that you're not normal.

340
00:20:31,830 --> 00:20:35,710
But other than that, there's no sign of
a severely maladjusted id or wildly

341
00:20:35,710 --> 00:20:36,710
fluctuating ego.

342
00:20:36,910 --> 00:20:39,610
Which in Freudian terms... There are two
elements balanced by the superego.

343
00:20:41,110 --> 00:20:42,110
How did you know that?

344
00:20:43,639 --> 00:20:47,340
Well, I took some Freud out of the
library the other day.

345
00:20:48,400 --> 00:20:52,760
I just figured since you were spending
so much time trying to figure me out,

346
00:20:52,760 --> 00:20:54,800
see what made you tick.

347
00:20:55,900 --> 00:20:58,800
Actually, the interesting thing is,
Freud's a pretty amazing guy.

348
00:20:59,620 --> 00:21:01,820
Although I do think he's a little too
sexually oriented.

349
00:21:02,780 --> 00:21:03,780
Really?

350
00:21:04,560 --> 00:21:05,980
That's kind of what I liked about him.

351
00:21:09,700 --> 00:21:11,460
I'm really surprised you did that, Alex.

352
00:21:12,400 --> 00:21:14,600
It's a very non -overachieverish thing
to do.

353
00:21:14,980 --> 00:21:17,980
Yeah, well, I felt pretty non
-overachieverish when I did it.

354
00:21:20,760 --> 00:21:21,760
I'm going to get back inside.

355
00:21:22,280 --> 00:21:23,280
Yeah, Lauren.

356
00:21:23,800 --> 00:21:24,800
What?

357
00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:28,060
You be careful on your way into the
living room.

358
00:21:29,600 --> 00:21:30,700
Thanks. I will.

359
00:21:46,159 --> 00:21:49,580
Don't go away. There's more family ties
coming up in less than 30 seconds. And

360
00:21:49,580 --> 00:21:52,720
tonight at 6, check out San Diego's
favorite comedy lineup. That's right.

361
00:21:52,980 --> 00:21:55,180
Friends, Will and Grace, and everybody
loves Raymond.

362
00:21:55,640 --> 00:21:56,640
Smile.

363
00:21:57,220 --> 00:22:01,540
You're watching San Diego's home for
comedy, KSWB. Watch the Frog.

364
00:22:02,080 --> 00:22:03,100
Sit, boo -boo, sit.

365
00:22:03,580 --> 00:22:04,580
Good dog.