1
00:00:02,159 --> 00:00:06,580
Mr. and Mrs. Seaver, please take your
usual seats.

2
00:00:12,500 --> 00:00:14,320
So, Dr.

3
00:00:14,580 --> 00:00:17,840
Seaver, how's the world of psychiatry?

4
00:00:19,600 --> 00:00:24,620
Fine, fine. So, what about Ben? And Mrs.
Seaver, gee, I miss your newscast on

5
00:00:24,620 --> 00:00:26,340
Channel 19. Why did you leave?

6
00:00:26,620 --> 00:00:30,680
Mr. DeWitt, could we please get to the
point? Well, excuse me for making small

7
00:00:30,680 --> 00:00:31,680
talk.

8
00:00:32,260 --> 00:00:33,760
Now I believe it's your turn.

9
00:00:37,220 --> 00:00:40,400
Oh, uh, so how's the wife, Mr. DeWitt?

10
00:00:41,280 --> 00:00:42,280
We're getting divorced.

11
00:00:43,640 --> 00:00:46,820
It's a very painful time in my life, and
I can't believe you brought it up.

12
00:00:48,340 --> 00:00:51,140
Mr. DeWitt, what is the problem with
Ben?

13
00:00:51,420 --> 00:00:52,740
Oh, he's suspended.

14
00:00:53,120 --> 00:00:54,120
What?

15
00:00:55,320 --> 00:01:00,800
During fourth period, Janitor Bob
spotted him at the mall at Leilani's

16
00:01:00,800 --> 00:01:01,800
stick.

17
00:01:03,629 --> 00:01:06,210
That's where all the counter girls wear
the coconut bras?

18
00:01:06,590 --> 00:01:09,150
No, you've heard of it. No, no, no, I
haven't.

19
00:01:12,510 --> 00:01:15,370
And skipping class is serious, but is it
worth the suspension?

20
00:01:15,870 --> 00:01:21,050
No, but this is. When I had Ben Seaver
sent to my office, a young Chinese boy

21
00:01:21,050 --> 00:01:22,050
arrived.

22
00:01:22,770 --> 00:01:25,490
Oh, there's another Ben Seaver in this
school?

23
00:01:29,290 --> 00:01:33,050
Matter of fact, at last count, there
were six Ben Seavers.

24
00:01:33,570 --> 00:01:39,310
Covering English, Spanish, science,
physical education, algebra, and shop.

25
00:01:39,750 --> 00:01:41,690
So he hasn't been attending any of those
classes?

26
00:01:41,990 --> 00:01:42,990
Not this semester.

27
00:01:43,130 --> 00:01:45,410
And the funny part is, he's never done
better.

28
00:01:47,570 --> 00:01:50,670
Attention, people. This is Principal
DeWitt.

29
00:01:50,930 --> 00:01:55,090
Ben Seaver, I want to see you in my
office before the spittle dries on this

30
00:01:55,090 --> 00:01:56,090
microphone.

31
00:02:01,620 --> 00:02:03,480
Guys. Hey, guys, come on, wait up.

32
00:02:03,720 --> 00:02:05,240
Come on, I'll take this one. I'm back
from lunch.

33
00:02:06,480 --> 00:02:08,699
Van receiver. How could you do this?

34
00:02:09,520 --> 00:02:10,740
I'm sorry, Mom.

35
00:02:27,280 --> 00:02:28,280
the best is

36
00:03:16,970 --> 00:03:18,650
coach, young man, until I tell you to
move.

37
00:03:19,950 --> 00:03:20,950
Hey, you move.

38
00:03:22,030 --> 00:03:23,030
I breathe.

39
00:03:23,130 --> 00:03:24,250
Well, keep it to a minimum.

40
00:03:25,470 --> 00:03:29,110
Jason, why would he do this? Why would
he skip school for three months? I don't

41
00:03:29,110 --> 00:03:32,110
know. Oh, remember when he used to just
love going to school?

42
00:03:32,790 --> 00:03:34,290
No, he never did.

43
00:03:34,810 --> 00:03:38,750
Well, sure, he did all through the early
grades. Honey, all I know is when you

44
00:03:38,750 --> 00:03:41,610
went back to work and I was driving him,
I had to drag him out of the car.

45
00:03:42,250 --> 00:03:45,530
So you're saying that my being a working
mother caused all this? Oh, sweetheart,

46
00:03:45,730 --> 00:03:48,790
no, it'll be ridiculous. Come on, your
career lasted, what, three years?

47
00:03:53,750 --> 00:03:56,790
It's official, Ben. You are now a total
loser.

48
00:03:57,810 --> 00:04:00,230
Carol, why don't you go pluck those
hairs off your face?

49
00:04:02,430 --> 00:04:05,470
Hey, Mike, guess who's got a two -week
vacation?

50
00:04:06,090 --> 00:04:08,070
Uh, let me guess. Is he tall and goofy?

51
00:04:08,330 --> 00:04:09,550
Well, he's tall anyway.

52
00:04:09,890 --> 00:04:12,870
I can't believe you're so proud that you
got suspended.

53
00:04:13,470 --> 00:04:14,730
Mike, explain it to her.

54
00:04:14,930 --> 00:04:16,050
Whoa, whoa, whoa. You got suspended?

55
00:04:16,510 --> 00:04:17,489
Yipper dipper.

56
00:04:17,490 --> 00:04:20,209
And I took the whole Dewey High Minority
Club with me.

57
00:04:21,990 --> 00:04:23,570
Ben, Ben, this is not good.

58
00:04:23,890 --> 00:04:26,530
Why not? Because somehow I am going to
be blamed for this.

59
00:04:28,430 --> 00:04:29,950
I knew this day was coming.

60
00:04:30,360 --> 00:04:34,140
I mean, you can only be repulsive for so
long, and then the world just vomits

61
00:04:34,140 --> 00:04:35,140
you out.

62
00:04:36,500 --> 00:04:38,580
All right, everybody, we want to talk to
Ben.

63
00:04:38,920 --> 00:04:41,660
Come on, Christy. I'll tell you a story.
What story?

64
00:04:41,920 --> 00:04:44,280
Well, it's called The Boy With No Brain.

65
00:04:46,160 --> 00:04:48,220
All right, Ben, number one, no TV.

66
00:04:48,920 --> 00:04:50,100
Ever? Ever.

67
00:04:50,400 --> 00:04:53,040
Well, what if there's a natural disaster
and I have to tune in for further

68
00:04:53,040 --> 00:04:54,040
instructions?

69
00:04:55,280 --> 00:04:56,280
You'll die.

70
00:04:58,100 --> 00:04:59,880
Jason, I was going to handle this.

71
00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:01,900
Yeah, Dad, let's hear what's on Mom's
mind.

72
00:05:02,360 --> 00:05:07,040
Ben, we are going to go over every class
you skipped. You are going to catch up

73
00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:10,140
in these two weeks, even if you have to
study 24 hours a day.

74
00:05:13,440 --> 00:05:14,460
Dad, you were saying?

75
00:05:16,220 --> 00:05:19,960
Well, Ben, there's always boarding
school, you know, where your day begins

76
00:05:19,960 --> 00:05:23,860
a .m. with a nice, brisk 10 -mile run,
and then it's off to classes for eight

77
00:05:23,860 --> 00:05:27,500
nine hours. You don't skip class in
boarding school, otherwise large women

78
00:05:27,500 --> 00:05:29,620
no sense of humor hunt you down with
dogs.

79
00:05:36,840 --> 00:05:37,940
What's so funny, sweetheart?

80
00:05:38,200 --> 00:05:39,200
The far side.

81
00:05:39,260 --> 00:05:41,100
I love what he does with rhinos.

82
00:05:42,880 --> 00:05:44,100
Need any help with words?

83
00:05:45,040 --> 00:05:46,040
I look like Ben.

84
00:05:48,680 --> 00:05:50,640
That is quite enough, Chrissy.

85
00:05:50,880 --> 00:05:54,760
Good morning, all. The editorial page,
please. Mm -hmm, there you go. What's an

86
00:05:54,760 --> 00:05:55,760
editorial page?

87
00:05:55,860 --> 00:05:59,120
Well, it's where opinions are voiced on
important issues.

88
00:05:59,420 --> 00:06:01,300
And when you get older, you'll be
reading it.

89
00:06:01,560 --> 00:06:04,340
And when Ben gets older, he'll be
sleeping under it.

90
00:06:05,920 --> 00:06:09,540
I think it would be nice if everyone
left before Ben gets here.

91
00:06:09,780 --> 00:06:11,880
Well, I'd love to leave. I can't even
look at him.

92
00:06:14,960 --> 00:06:18,740
You know, it has been a long time since
just the two of us have been home

93
00:06:18,740 --> 00:06:19,740
together. Yeah.

94
00:06:20,900 --> 00:06:22,800
Remember when it used to be like this
every day?

95
00:06:23,220 --> 00:06:24,760
Sure. Then you went back to work.

96
00:06:25,700 --> 00:06:26,700
That bothered you?

97
00:06:27,380 --> 00:06:28,339
Doesn't matter.

98
00:06:28,340 --> 00:06:29,600
Oh, I didn't think so.

99
00:06:30,380 --> 00:06:31,980
But you did come home for Chrissy,
though.

100
00:06:33,460 --> 00:06:36,540
Honey, if I knew you were going to turn
out like this, I never would have gone

101
00:06:36,540 --> 00:06:37,540
back to work.

102
00:06:38,860 --> 00:06:40,040
Thanks. No, no.

103
00:06:41,130 --> 00:06:46,070
Ben, I figured we'd start each day with
a ten -minute free period. You can

104
00:06:46,070 --> 00:06:52,410
think, you can talk, you can ask me
anything, and maybe we can get to know

105
00:06:52,410 --> 00:06:55,450
other better. You can do whatever you
want.

106
00:06:56,250 --> 00:06:57,250
Great.

107
00:06:59,550 --> 00:07:00,550
Right.

108
00:07:01,810 --> 00:07:03,170
So, what are you reading?

109
00:07:03,490 --> 00:07:04,490
The Knicks lost.

110
00:07:04,570 --> 00:07:05,570
Hmm.

111
00:07:05,910 --> 00:07:09,010
Well, the Lakers are pretty strong when
Magic's on his game.

112
00:07:10,440 --> 00:07:12,300
You knew Magic Johnson played for the
Lakers?

113
00:07:12,740 --> 00:07:15,780
Oh, yeah. I've been following him since
he was at Michigan State.

114
00:07:17,340 --> 00:07:18,480
That's a college band.

115
00:07:20,860 --> 00:07:22,620
So, what's the article say?

116
00:07:22,900 --> 00:07:23,900
The Knicks blew.

117
00:07:25,040 --> 00:07:28,020
But what word does the writer use to
convey that thought?

118
00:07:28,560 --> 00:07:29,780
He used the word blue.

119
00:07:30,620 --> 00:07:33,120
The Knicks blew like the exhaust from a
Thai restaurant.

120
00:07:37,460 --> 00:07:39,520
That's called a simile.

121
00:07:40,750 --> 00:07:41,669
A what?

122
00:07:41,670 --> 00:07:44,930
A simile. It's a figure of speech used
as a comparison.

123
00:07:45,610 --> 00:07:46,630
Hey, you try one.

124
00:07:47,090 --> 00:07:49,030
I don't know, Mom. I'm as dumb as a
post.

125
00:07:49,590 --> 00:07:50,590
What?

126
00:07:50,790 --> 00:07:51,790
What?

127
00:07:52,290 --> 00:07:54,730
Dumb as a post. That's another simile.

128
00:07:54,970 --> 00:07:55,970
Yeah? Yeah.

129
00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:59,150
And how many rebounds did Ewan get?

130
00:07:59,550 --> 00:08:01,590
Ten defensive, eight offensive.

131
00:08:01,870 --> 00:08:02,870
And that makes?

132
00:08:03,190 --> 00:08:06,750
Eighteen. And the game was played in?
Los Angeles.

133
00:08:07,090 --> 00:08:08,090
Which is it?

134
00:08:08,390 --> 00:08:09,390
Uh...

135
00:08:10,570 --> 00:08:12,190
It's where all the big movie stars live.

136
00:08:12,710 --> 00:08:13,990
The Betty Ford Clinic.

137
00:08:17,110 --> 00:08:18,130
Which is in?

138
00:08:19,330 --> 00:08:20,330
California.

139
00:08:20,570 --> 00:08:27,110
Right! Ben, you have just studied
English, math, geography, and health.

140
00:08:27,510 --> 00:08:28,550
You can do it.

141
00:08:29,730 --> 00:08:31,250
Mom, would this be a simile?

142
00:08:31,670 --> 00:08:33,070
Carol is butt ugly.

143
00:08:38,320 --> 00:08:40,320
That's what you're teaching the golden
rule.

144
00:08:41,940 --> 00:08:44,000
American history is practical math.

145
00:08:45,460 --> 00:08:47,600
You're studying hard, hoping to pass.

146
00:08:49,360 --> 00:08:51,380
Working your fingers right down to the
bottom.

147
00:08:52,700 --> 00:08:54,900
The guy behind you won't leave you
alone.

148
00:08:56,900 --> 00:08:58,800
Ring, ring goes the bell.

149
00:09:00,140 --> 00:09:02,420
The cook in the lunchroom's ready to
sell.

150
00:09:03,920 --> 00:09:06,060
You're lucky if you can find a seat.

151
00:09:21,890 --> 00:09:22,890
Wow,

152
00:09:26,570 --> 00:09:27,950
look at all those things crawling
around.

153
00:09:28,350 --> 00:09:30,230
Those are called microorganisms.

154
00:09:30,630 --> 00:09:32,190
And they all live in that water my spin.

155
00:09:34,050 --> 00:09:35,050
That's right.

156
00:09:35,980 --> 00:09:37,860
Kind of makes you think twice about
swallowing, doesn't it?

157
00:09:38,820 --> 00:09:40,520
Imagine what happens when you kiss a
girl.

158
00:09:41,300 --> 00:09:42,660
Yeah, that... Mom.

159
00:09:45,240 --> 00:09:48,940
Oh, lunchtime. You get another ten
-minute free period.

160
00:09:54,560 --> 00:09:56,220
Where did you learn all this stuff, Mom?

161
00:09:56,980 --> 00:09:57,980
In college.

162
00:09:58,100 --> 00:09:59,100
You went to college?

163
00:10:00,040 --> 00:10:02,620
What did you think? You think I was
making all this up?

164
00:10:02,880 --> 00:10:03,880
I wasn't sure.

165
00:10:05,740 --> 00:10:06,740
Well, I'm not.

166
00:10:07,260 --> 00:10:10,820
Well, how can I reuse something like
what's in my spit or where Massachusetts

167
00:10:10,820 --> 00:10:11,820
is?

168
00:10:12,120 --> 00:10:15,320
Well, let's say you wanted to go to a
Celtics game.

169
00:10:15,880 --> 00:10:18,840
Without Massachusetts, you don't stand
much of a chance.

170
00:10:19,820 --> 00:10:23,360
Well, they could be on the road in
Philadelphia, which is in Pennsylvania,

171
00:10:23,360 --> 00:10:26,040
Denver, which is in Colorado, or
Chicago, which is in Illinois.

172
00:10:27,440 --> 00:10:29,980
Ben, I do believe you're learning.

173
00:10:30,940 --> 00:10:32,960
And I'm getting a nice trim fanny.

174
00:10:35,600 --> 00:10:36,600
Honey, I'm sorry.

175
00:10:36,620 --> 00:10:38,600
All I have is Jane Fonda tapes.

176
00:10:38,820 --> 00:10:39,820
That's okay, Mom.

177
00:10:40,120 --> 00:10:42,140
Actually, I kind of like watching all
those women in tech.

178
00:10:43,300 --> 00:10:44,680
So, what's for lunch?

179
00:10:45,860 --> 00:10:47,300
Hi, honey. How was your day?

180
00:10:47,500 --> 00:10:50,600
Well, people are losing their minds at
an alarming rate, which leaves us

181
00:10:50,600 --> 00:10:51,600
pretty.

182
00:10:52,460 --> 00:10:53,500
Look at this. What's that?

183
00:10:53,740 --> 00:10:57,920
I gave Ben a test to see what he's
learned these two weeks, and he passed

184
00:10:57,920 --> 00:10:58,920
course.

185
00:10:59,440 --> 00:11:00,800
Carol's as ugly as a butt.

186
00:11:02,520 --> 00:11:04,680
Oh, honey, I am so proud.

187
00:11:04,910 --> 00:11:08,590
I mean, you should see him. I mean, he's
actually enjoying learning, and we're

188
00:11:08,590 --> 00:11:12,630
getting along so well, and I'm sorry I'm
gushing. Oh, gush, gush.

189
00:11:12,870 --> 00:11:15,830
Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad. Bye, Mom. Bye, Dad.

190
00:11:17,450 --> 00:11:20,430
Is it me, or is Chrissy starting to
smell like roast pork?

191
00:11:21,370 --> 00:11:23,290
Chrissy, what do you have under your
jacket?

192
00:11:23,650 --> 00:11:24,930
It wasn't my idea.

193
00:11:25,190 --> 00:11:29,670
Vito Simpin's got to have this. He's
gotten two weeks without it, and he must

194
00:11:29,670 --> 00:11:30,850
going crazy by now.

195
00:11:31,150 --> 00:11:32,290
Chrissy, go to your room.

196
00:11:34,090 --> 00:11:36,510
On second thought, go sit on the front
porch and air out.

197
00:11:37,610 --> 00:11:38,790
What is that?

198
00:11:40,410 --> 00:11:42,030
Leilani's cloven hoop special.

199
00:11:43,710 --> 00:11:45,390
Honey, she's right next to my barber.

200
00:11:45,870 --> 00:11:48,330
Look, there's a greasy note in there.

201
00:11:52,710 --> 00:11:57,270
Ben, the long nightmare is over. See you
at Leilani's Monday for shop class.

202
00:11:57,630 --> 00:11:59,550
Sign Vito and the Coconut Boys.

203
00:12:01,100 --> 00:12:04,060
I was kidding myself, Jason. He won't
last a day in that school.

204
00:12:04,340 --> 00:12:07,200
Oh, honey, come on. Just a minute ago,
you were gushing. You don't know if he's

205
00:12:07,200 --> 00:12:08,500
going to revert to his old ways.

206
00:12:08,900 --> 00:12:11,560
Maybe you've given him the strength to
resist that kind of temptation.

207
00:12:12,300 --> 00:12:13,680
Hey, Mom, I wanted to talk to you.

208
00:12:16,260 --> 00:12:17,259
All right!

209
00:12:17,260 --> 00:12:18,340
Leilani's Cloverdove Special!

210
00:12:19,120 --> 00:12:20,120
Oh, yeah!

211
00:12:20,460 --> 00:12:23,020
Oh, did Leilani deliver myself through a
wiki -wiki wagon?

212
00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:43,620
teach Ben at home.

213
00:12:44,220 --> 00:12:45,220
What?

214
00:12:45,580 --> 00:12:48,900
Honey, we don't have to send him back to
the Coconut Boys and who knows what on

215
00:12:48,900 --> 00:12:49,900
a stick.

216
00:12:51,180 --> 00:12:52,520
Honey, you're not a teacher.

217
00:12:52,820 --> 00:12:55,780
No, no, no, no. Jason, I was for two
weeks and he's done better than he has

218
00:12:55,780 --> 00:12:59,640
years. Oh, but I'm sure there was some
legality. Oh, so we'll get a lawyer.

219
00:12:59,740 --> 00:13:01,920
Honey, I'm just talking about for the
rest of the semester.

220
00:13:02,220 --> 00:13:06,240
I just... Jason, I just want Ben to know
how really good he is and that he's not

221
00:13:06,240 --> 00:13:07,240
a dummy.

222
00:13:07,440 --> 00:13:10,180
Well, there's a lot more to school than
the academics, Maggie. There's

223
00:13:10,180 --> 00:13:14,280
socialization. Oh, socialization. Is
that what you call three guys staring at

224
00:13:14,280 --> 00:13:15,380
girl in a coconut bikini?

225
00:13:16,700 --> 00:13:18,240
Was when I was growing up.

226
00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:23,460
Jason, right now Ben needs to focus on
learning.

227
00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:26,500
He could be lost forever if he doesn't
start now.

228
00:13:26,940 --> 00:13:30,280
I mean, it's a lot different teaching
for two weeks than teaching for two

229
00:13:30,280 --> 00:13:33,900
months. Well, that's what I'm counting
on, Jason. I mean, I want to be there

230
00:13:33,900 --> 00:13:36,040
him like I wasn't before.

231
00:13:39,500 --> 00:13:40,900
You really believe in this, don't you?

232
00:13:42,500 --> 00:13:47,160
Jason, we've gotten so close in these
last two weeks. I just don't want to

233
00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:48,160
that.

234
00:13:49,160 --> 00:13:51,440
Well, Ben's counting on going back to
school tomorrow.

235
00:13:53,060 --> 00:13:57,580
Well, I'll tell him at breakfast. He's
easier to handle before he's been fed.

236
00:14:01,320 --> 00:14:04,560
Whoa. How come you're wearing good
clothes for school?

237
00:14:05,060 --> 00:14:06,440
Because all my dirty clothes are dirty.

238
00:14:07,120 --> 00:14:09,300
It's okay. I was nervous my first day,
too.

239
00:14:10,200 --> 00:14:11,520
Hey, I'm not nervous.

240
00:14:11,900 --> 00:14:14,500
Then how come you're out before the good
cartoons are on?

241
00:14:14,920 --> 00:14:16,580
Hey, leave me alone, okay?

242
00:14:17,980 --> 00:14:19,900
Nervous. Very nervous.

243
00:14:22,380 --> 00:14:23,380
Yes.

244
00:14:25,560 --> 00:14:28,240
Ma 'am, I can wear this to school as
weenie junk.

245
00:14:29,180 --> 00:14:33,740
Yes, you are up early, and you are
dressed like such a little gentleman.

246
00:14:34,080 --> 00:14:35,840
Look, Mom, I gotta go change for school.

247
00:14:36,100 --> 00:14:39,490
Again? Uh, I wanted to talk to you about
school.

248
00:14:39,910 --> 00:14:40,910
What about it?

249
00:14:42,350 --> 00:14:48,030
Ben, what you've learned in these two
weeks has made me so proud.

250
00:14:49,030 --> 00:14:52,590
What would you say if, uh, you didn't
have to go back to school?

251
00:14:53,310 --> 00:14:55,130
You mean I learned so much I graduated?

252
00:14:57,170 --> 00:15:01,290
No, Ben, I'm saying that you have done
better in these two weeks than you have

253
00:15:01,290 --> 00:15:02,610
ever done at doing.

254
00:15:03,970 --> 00:15:08,340
And how would you feel about just...
Going to school here at home.

255
00:15:10,400 --> 00:15:11,460
Mom, this isn't funny.

256
00:15:12,860 --> 00:15:17,680
Ben, I thought you were actually excited
about doing schoolwork. I mean, you and

257
00:15:17,680 --> 00:15:18,680
I had fun together.

258
00:15:18,840 --> 00:15:19,840
Shh!

259
00:15:19,880 --> 00:15:22,040
Mom, if my friends heard you say that,
they'd laugh at me.

260
00:15:22,280 --> 00:15:24,680
You know what they're going to do when
they find out I'm going to mommy high?

261
00:15:27,060 --> 00:15:30,820
Honey, I really think it's for the best.

262
00:15:31,920 --> 00:15:35,840
And underneath, I think you do, too. I
mean, can you honestly tell me, can you

263
00:15:35,840 --> 00:15:39,720
honestly say that you can hang out with
Vito and the Coconut Boys and not get

264
00:15:39,720 --> 00:15:40,720
into trouble?

265
00:15:40,820 --> 00:15:44,200
I certainly... I most certainly can't.

266
00:15:45,840 --> 00:15:48,500
So this is what I get for my two weeks
of hard work. More punishment?

267
00:15:48,720 --> 00:15:50,220
Ben, when you're older, you'll
understand.

268
00:15:50,780 --> 00:15:53,500
I won't be getting any older. Mama's
boys have a short lifespan.

269
00:15:59,400 --> 00:16:01,000
I see you took the news well.

270
00:16:03,319 --> 00:16:08,180
Jason, I firmly believe that underneath,
deep, deep, deep within his soul, he

271
00:16:08,180 --> 00:16:09,180
knows it's for the best.

272
00:16:09,880 --> 00:16:13,100
I don't know, Maggie. I mean, when I was
his age, all I cared about was snapping

273
00:16:13,100 --> 00:16:17,200
towels with the guys and smelling bad
and getting all goofy and nervous around

274
00:16:17,200 --> 00:16:19,940
females. That happened when you were
younger, too?

275
00:16:22,280 --> 00:16:25,660
There's no need to lash out at me,
Maggie. Yes, there is, Jason. I don't

276
00:16:25,660 --> 00:16:26,800
like I have your support in this.

277
00:16:27,020 --> 00:16:30,420
Honey, look, I mean, all things
considered, when you look at the

278
00:16:31,560 --> 00:16:34,520
I think you're teaching Ben at home is
worth a shot.

279
00:16:36,140 --> 00:16:41,260
But if you want me to say that what
you're doing is absolutely 100%, no

280
00:16:41,260 --> 00:16:45,500
about it, right, I can't say that unless
you want me to lie.

281
00:16:47,200 --> 00:16:48,460
Would it be a big lie?

282
00:16:50,440 --> 00:16:54,280
How can you forget that Los Angeles is
in California? It is the corporate

283
00:16:54,280 --> 00:16:56,860
headquarters of Leilani's Luau on a
stick.

284
00:16:58,660 --> 00:16:59,660
Uh, Mother?

285
00:17:00,300 --> 00:17:01,300
A word.

286
00:17:05,540 --> 00:17:07,140
You hurt, don't you?

287
00:17:07,800 --> 00:17:12,920
No. Mom, this is me, Carol, your
sensitive, perceptive daughter.

288
00:17:13,480 --> 00:17:17,240
Mom, it's okay. I know why you're going
through this pointless charade.

289
00:17:17,460 --> 00:17:20,619
To make up for the tragedy of those lost
years.

290
00:17:20,940 --> 00:17:22,040
But it's okay.

291
00:17:22,599 --> 00:17:25,980
Guilt has made women far better than you
go insane.

292
00:17:28,740 --> 00:17:32,990
Listen, you... Because of you, she's
going to want to try this on me.

293
00:17:33,550 --> 00:17:35,170
There goes my socialization.

294
00:17:37,230 --> 00:17:40,530
Hey, look, I'm not too happy about this
either. The last place I want to be is

295
00:17:40,530 --> 00:17:45,790
here. Then do something about it. Run
away from home. I'll pack your clothes

296
00:17:45,790 --> 00:17:46,790
you.

297
00:17:46,950 --> 00:17:50,310
I want to see everything you missed
today covered in your homework, and you

298
00:17:50,310 --> 00:17:53,390
stay in your room until you know it
backwards and forwards, or you will rot

299
00:17:53,390 --> 00:17:54,390
a bad melon.

300
00:17:54,490 --> 00:17:56,690
And that is a symbol that you can take
to the bank.

301
00:18:02,360 --> 00:18:05,100
Mrs. Seaver, I could hear you a block
away.

302
00:18:06,420 --> 00:18:08,280
You know, you would have made a great
teacher.

303
00:18:09,540 --> 00:18:14,000
Mr. DeWitt, if you have come here to
tell me that Ben needs socialization, or

304
00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:17,640
that he needs to hang out with boys or
snap towels or act goofy around females,

305
00:18:17,760 --> 00:18:21,420
or that I am doing this only out of
guilt, save it. I have heard it all.

306
00:18:22,420 --> 00:18:23,780
Here. Here, teach.

307
00:18:25,820 --> 00:18:29,480
What? Mrs. Seaver, I have come here to
applaud you.

308
00:18:33,130 --> 00:18:36,810
For the first time in my career, I have
seen a parent do something right.

309
00:18:37,870 --> 00:18:40,990
You took control of your son's life when
he needed it the most.

310
00:18:41,850 --> 00:18:43,070
Wow, well, thanks.

311
00:18:43,510 --> 00:18:45,650
It was just when I was beginning to
doubt myself.

312
00:18:46,030 --> 00:18:51,970
All I can say is I just wish that all
the parents of all the students in all

313
00:18:51,970 --> 00:18:56,670
classrooms around the world would take
him home and teach him.

314
00:18:59,390 --> 00:19:01,170
But then you'd be out of a job.

315
00:19:01,850 --> 00:19:04,270
I'm a city employee. I ain't going
nowhere.

316
00:19:06,830 --> 00:19:11,890
On the QT, my mommy taught me at home
for 14 years, and look how I turned out.

317
00:19:17,170 --> 00:19:20,830
Mom, I'm too sick to stay home today. I
got to go to school.

318
00:19:22,850 --> 00:19:23,850
Ben, don't.

319
00:19:24,770 --> 00:19:25,910
It's okay, honey. Go.

320
00:19:27,530 --> 00:19:28,530
You're not arguing?

321
00:19:29,250 --> 00:19:30,250
No.

322
00:19:30,700 --> 00:19:33,400
It's a mistake teaching you at home. I'm
sorry I ever got into it.

323
00:19:34,080 --> 00:19:37,220
How could you say that? Come on, I was
doing good, wasn't I? Dan, just go to

324
00:19:37,220 --> 00:19:38,219
school. You're going to be late.

325
00:19:38,220 --> 00:19:40,840
I don't want to go to school. Oh, so now
you want to stay home? I didn't say

326
00:19:40,840 --> 00:19:41,559
that either.

327
00:19:41,560 --> 00:19:43,300
Well, Dan, those are your two choices.

328
00:19:43,660 --> 00:19:45,860
Make up your mind. Yeah, I know. It's
driving me nuts.

329
00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:48,720
What is?

330
00:19:52,920 --> 00:19:55,100
Mom, I like studying with you.

331
00:19:55,960 --> 00:19:57,260
And I actually learned something.

332
00:19:59,440 --> 00:20:01,860
I mean, it's not real neat having
everybody calling you stupid.

333
00:20:03,120 --> 00:20:04,380
Who calls you stupid?

334
00:20:05,700 --> 00:20:08,740
It's my image. I mean, it's what I do.
It's what I am.

335
00:20:09,520 --> 00:20:10,540
I don't like that.

336
00:20:10,820 --> 00:20:12,800
I don't like it either.

337
00:20:14,040 --> 00:20:15,460
But you know, I'll tell you what's
worse.

338
00:20:16,160 --> 00:20:17,980
It's having all those guys call me a
mama's boy.

339
00:20:18,800 --> 00:20:19,800
Who's saying that?

340
00:20:20,360 --> 00:20:21,360
They all are, Mom.

341
00:20:24,020 --> 00:20:26,920
When they walk by the house dragging
their bat along the fence, they're

342
00:20:26,920 --> 00:20:27,920
it.

343
00:20:29,160 --> 00:20:31,620
When I hear tires squeal late at night,
it's meant for me, Mom.

344
00:20:31,820 --> 00:20:32,900
I don't know what to do.

345
00:20:34,760 --> 00:20:37,360
I mean, it's really neat having you all
to myself.

346
00:20:39,100 --> 00:20:40,720
It's really neat not feeling dumb.

347
00:20:43,820 --> 00:20:45,480
You did like being here with me?

348
00:20:45,720 --> 00:20:46,720
Shh!

349
00:20:47,420 --> 00:20:48,420
Come on.

350
00:20:48,440 --> 00:20:51,360
They could show up at any time. They've
been known to hide in bushes.

351
00:20:53,720 --> 00:20:56,380
Well, you are more trouble than you're
worth, young man.

352
00:20:56,899 --> 00:21:00,220
Huh? You are too dangerous for public
schooling. You can just tell your

353
00:21:00,220 --> 00:21:01,220
I said so.

354
00:21:01,380 --> 00:21:02,380
I'm not dangerous.

355
00:21:03,080 --> 00:21:05,620
Such things wouldn't be said about a
mama's boy, would they?

356
00:21:06,360 --> 00:21:07,360
No.

357
00:21:08,920 --> 00:21:11,860
Oh, so I could, like, go to school here
and nobody would have to know that I'm

358
00:21:11,860 --> 00:21:13,500
actually liking it? That's right, honey.

359
00:21:13,780 --> 00:21:18,560
Honey? I mean, deadbeat. You are too
wild to be let loose on the streets.

360
00:21:20,360 --> 00:21:21,360
You're welcome.

361
00:21:22,600 --> 00:21:23,600
This isn't gonna be...

362
00:21:27,560 --> 00:21:29,280
Are we still acting or should I be
worried?

363
00:21:35,280 --> 00:21:38,200
Mom, how come you had to go back to
work?

364
00:21:38,660 --> 00:21:40,080
I didn't have to, Ben.

365
00:21:40,700 --> 00:21:41,700
I wanted to.

366
00:21:43,680 --> 00:21:44,680
Come here.

367
00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:53,040
Ben, imagine you had to spend 15 years
in this house without ever going out to

368
00:21:53,040 --> 00:21:55,140
play. You'd go crazy, wouldn't you?

369
00:21:56,990 --> 00:22:00,270
Well, believe it or not, a lot of grown
-ups feel the same way about work.

370
00:22:01,030 --> 00:22:02,190
That's this, Mom.

371
00:22:04,270 --> 00:22:07,190
And I know this has been a big change
for all of us.

372
00:22:07,730 --> 00:22:12,050
And I worry about not being here for you
because, well, you're the youngest.

373
00:22:13,170 --> 00:22:16,890
And I worry about not being here for
Carol because she's a girl and she needs

374
00:22:16,890 --> 00:22:17,890
her mother.

375
00:22:18,350 --> 00:22:21,970
And I worry about not being here for
Mike to keep him from accidentally

376
00:22:21,970 --> 00:22:22,970
something up.

377
00:22:24,140 --> 00:22:27,660
And believe me, I worry about leaving
your father here to cope with all you

378
00:22:27,660 --> 00:22:28,660
monsters.

379
00:22:29,700 --> 00:22:31,500
You shouldn't worry so much, Mom.

380
00:22:31,720 --> 00:22:33,120
You'll make yourself crazy.