1 00:00:04,289 --> 00:00:05,289 Well, 2 00:00:06,130 --> 00:00:10,230 I loved it, and I generally don't like musicals. Right, Maggie? You love La 3 00:00:10,230 --> 00:00:13,410 aux Folles. Yeah, but that wasn't for the music. I like men in dresses. 4 00:00:16,110 --> 00:00:21,010 Don't anybody look, but that cute waiter has been staring at me all night long. 5 00:00:22,310 --> 00:00:23,830 Here he comes, here he comes. 6 00:00:24,510 --> 00:00:29,010 If you need anything else, anything at all, just whistle. 7 00:00:35,790 --> 00:00:36,790 It's a haircut. 8 00:00:38,290 --> 00:00:40,410 Hey, maybe you should get yourself a flat top, Carol. 9 00:00:41,430 --> 00:00:45,310 Can we just finish our dessert and go home, please? Oh, don't talk like that, 10 00:00:45,350 --> 00:00:46,850 honey. You just saw the hottest play on Broadway. 11 00:00:47,130 --> 00:00:48,130 Oh, is that what it was? 12 00:00:48,730 --> 00:00:49,750 You didn't like it? 13 00:00:49,970 --> 00:00:50,970 It blew. 14 00:00:52,790 --> 00:00:54,370 Well, I thought it was fascinating. 15 00:00:54,890 --> 00:00:56,730 You got some drool on your lip. 16 00:00:58,610 --> 00:00:59,810 Maggie, help me out here. 17 00:01:04,010 --> 00:01:05,630 Why do I even bother? Huh? 18 00:01:06,070 --> 00:01:09,870 Coffee? Oh, honey, you don't need any more coffee. No, I don't need it. I want 19 00:01:09,870 --> 00:01:13,290 it. Too much coffee and you're up all night, and neither one of us wants that. 20 00:01:15,150 --> 00:01:16,150 Honey, 21 00:01:17,670 --> 00:01:18,670 you know what I mean. 22 00:01:18,810 --> 00:01:21,650 No, that's fine, Megan. That's fine. I wouldn't have more coffee now if you 23 00:01:21,650 --> 00:01:22,650 begged me. 24 00:01:23,490 --> 00:01:26,250 Wally, I don't know why you even go to the theater. 25 00:01:26,610 --> 00:01:27,870 Well, because you make me. 26 00:01:28,630 --> 00:01:31,350 It wasn't so bad. I like the girls in the shower scene. 27 00:01:32,270 --> 00:01:34,710 They're all wearing... tights, you little pervert. 28 00:01:35,110 --> 00:01:35,949 They were? 29 00:01:35,950 --> 00:01:36,669 Uh -huh. 30 00:01:36,670 --> 00:01:38,390 Oh, then Wally's right. This played blue. 31 00:01:40,130 --> 00:01:42,590 All right, Mike, you're the drama student. What did you think? 32 00:01:43,430 --> 00:01:45,230 Well, they're pretty realistic tights, Dad. 33 00:01:45,970 --> 00:01:46,970 Well, 34 00:01:47,110 --> 00:01:48,790 you could have at least tried to enjoy it for me. 35 00:01:49,030 --> 00:01:50,030 Oh, I did try. 36 00:01:50,130 --> 00:01:51,890 I snuck in beers and everything. 37 00:01:52,270 --> 00:01:53,270 I'm serious. 38 00:01:53,530 --> 00:01:57,450 Well, fine. You want to talk serious? Why don't you try enjoying the things I 39 00:01:57,450 --> 00:02:01,060 like? I'm sorry, I don't like making sausage at home. 40 00:02:01,320 --> 00:02:03,260 But you sure enjoy eating it. 41 00:02:05,060 --> 00:02:09,139 Don't you change your voice to me. Oh, Wally Irma, please. People are staring. 42 00:02:09,560 --> 00:02:13,080 What? You've never been ragged on by a wife before? 43 00:03:19,980 --> 00:03:23,900 Everything okay? Great. Christy was an angel. Oh, Carol, some guy called for 44 00:03:23,900 --> 00:03:25,060 you. Right. 45 00:03:25,380 --> 00:03:27,200 Even the babysitter makes fun of me. 46 00:03:27,820 --> 00:03:28,820 I'm serious. 47 00:03:29,800 --> 00:03:33,820 Hi, I'm Ben Seaver. I don't believe we've met, and in two years, I should 48 00:03:33,820 --> 00:03:34,820 outgrow this goofiness. 49 00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:37,260 Ben, go to bed. 50 00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:38,800 You bet I will. 51 00:03:41,520 --> 00:03:45,040 Here you go, Margo, and Dr. Seaver will give you a ride home. Thanks. 52 00:03:45,320 --> 00:03:46,680 No need. No need, Mom. 53 00:03:47,130 --> 00:03:48,510 It's okay. I'd be happy to take Margo home. 54 00:03:48,790 --> 00:03:49,970 Oh, well, it's quite a distance. 55 00:03:50,250 --> 00:03:51,250 Oh, that'll mind. 56 00:03:52,050 --> 00:03:53,330 See you guys. Good night. 57 00:03:53,550 --> 00:03:54,550 Good night. 58 00:03:56,490 --> 00:03:58,190 Ah, to be young again. 59 00:03:58,550 --> 00:04:01,450 Oh, honey, you're not that old. I wasn't talking about me. 60 00:04:02,650 --> 00:04:07,050 I wasn't talking about you either. No, not you. You are so young. You're 61 00:04:07,050 --> 00:04:08,050 than me. 62 00:04:08,470 --> 00:04:09,470 Oh, 63 00:04:09,790 --> 00:04:11,230 stop, stop, stop. 64 00:04:15,649 --> 00:04:17,550 I'm afraid you're going to crush my leg. 65 00:04:18,769 --> 00:04:21,690 Well, honey, you're happy for it. Yeah, in my own special way. 66 00:04:23,770 --> 00:04:27,410 You know, you're kind of cute when you're stupid. Oh, yeah? This is going 67 00:04:27,410 --> 00:04:28,410 make you crazy. 68 00:04:29,430 --> 00:04:33,470 Does our marriage really come to this? I think quite a while ago. 69 00:04:34,090 --> 00:04:38,390 Why are you so frisky tonight? Well, I just treated my family to a wonderful 70 00:04:38,390 --> 00:04:40,650 evening of theater and dinner. It makes a man proud. 71 00:04:41,150 --> 00:04:44,730 Oh, honey, I don't think your mom and Wally had so much fun. Yeah, I sensed a 72 00:04:44,730 --> 00:04:45,730 little tension there. 73 00:04:46,010 --> 00:04:49,070 Tension? They were ready to rip each other's spleens out. Yeah. 74 00:04:51,970 --> 00:04:55,610 You're happy about this, aren't you? No, no, no, I'm not happy, Meg. I'm just 75 00:04:55,610 --> 00:04:59,690 kidding around. I mean, if I thought that my mother were ever going to be 76 00:04:59,810 --> 00:05:03,730 if there were ever any real problems there with her, well, I don't know. I 77 00:05:03,730 --> 00:05:04,649 know what I'd do. 78 00:05:04,650 --> 00:05:08,010 You know, honey, Wally really is a pretty good guy. 79 00:05:08,330 --> 00:05:11,770 Yeah. Well, not good enough for my mom. Well, who would be? 80 00:05:12,290 --> 00:05:13,290 My dad. 81 00:05:13,550 --> 00:05:14,550 Rest his soul. 82 00:05:19,490 --> 00:05:20,490 Hello. 83 00:05:20,730 --> 00:05:21,730 Oh, hi, Mom. 84 00:05:21,970 --> 00:05:23,870 Yeah, no, we were just getting ready. 85 00:05:24,150 --> 00:05:25,150 Huh? 86 00:05:26,430 --> 00:05:27,430 Tonight? 87 00:05:28,530 --> 00:05:29,750 Okay, no, I'll be right there. 88 00:05:30,210 --> 00:05:31,210 All right, bye. 89 00:05:32,310 --> 00:05:33,310 What is it? 90 00:05:33,490 --> 00:05:34,570 She's leaving Wally. 91 00:05:35,690 --> 00:05:36,690 What? 92 00:05:37,290 --> 00:05:39,990 She wants me to come right over and pick her up. Maggie, this is terrible. 93 00:05:40,390 --> 00:05:41,970 Oh, honey, what are we going to do? 94 00:05:42,430 --> 00:05:43,430 I know. 95 00:05:43,770 --> 00:05:44,770 Let's make love. 96 00:05:47,270 --> 00:05:50,870 What's that got to do with anything? Well, no, just say yes and I'll find a 97 00:05:50,870 --> 00:05:55,010 to tie it in. This concludes our broadcasting day. 98 00:05:55,330 --> 00:05:59,670 Now stay tuned for the national anthem sung by Miss Roseanne Barr. 99 00:06:01,530 --> 00:06:02,530 That was close. 100 00:06:07,080 --> 00:06:08,740 See how he survives on his own. 101 00:06:08,980 --> 00:06:11,560 Let's see what he does without his clean underwear. 102 00:06:13,160 --> 00:06:14,800 Let's see if he can find his teeth. 103 00:06:15,200 --> 00:06:19,280 Oh, Mom, you're exaggerating. I'm sure Wally won't have any trouble finding his 104 00:06:19,280 --> 00:06:20,280 teeth. 105 00:06:23,380 --> 00:06:27,960 Irma, this may not be my place, but it was just an argument in a restaurant. 106 00:06:28,300 --> 00:06:30,180 It wasn't just this argument. 107 00:06:31,300 --> 00:06:35,000 Don't you ever have a moment when it occurs to you that you are married to 108 00:06:35,000 --> 00:06:36,000 wrong person? 109 00:06:36,170 --> 00:06:37,170 Oh, it's only natural. 110 00:06:39,550 --> 00:06:43,530 Well, it just points out that we have absolutely nothing in common. 111 00:06:43,730 --> 00:06:47,930 Oh, Irma, well, you're welcome to stay here and live here with us as long as 112 00:06:47,930 --> 00:06:48,930 want to. 113 00:06:49,070 --> 00:06:50,450 Today you should do it. 114 00:06:50,910 --> 00:06:51,910 Pardon me? 115 00:06:52,310 --> 00:06:54,950 Well, you people act as if I'm headed for divorce. 116 00:06:55,570 --> 00:06:56,570 I'm confused. 117 00:06:57,830 --> 00:06:58,830 What's confusing? 118 00:06:59,810 --> 00:07:04,350 Two days on his own will teach him that life is not so bad on a short leash. 119 00:07:06,180 --> 00:07:07,480 So you're not splitting up? 120 00:07:07,780 --> 00:07:09,600 Oh, it hasn't been all bad. 121 00:07:10,740 --> 00:07:15,060 And the romance department is, uh, quite nice. 122 00:07:15,500 --> 00:07:16,780 Oh, my, please! 123 00:07:19,040 --> 00:07:22,680 Oh, my marriage would be perfect if only I could get him to change completely. 124 00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:24,020 I hear you. 125 00:07:25,940 --> 00:07:28,600 Oh, Jason, could you do me one more favor, dear? 126 00:07:28,820 --> 00:07:32,520 Yeah, name it. Well, I've packed a couple more bags back at the apartment. 127 00:07:33,420 --> 00:07:34,500 For the dramatic effect. 128 00:07:35,800 --> 00:07:38,500 When you're in the city tomorrow, could you pick them up for me, please? 129 00:07:38,920 --> 00:07:43,100 Yeah. I think when he sees you pick them up, that will put a twist in his lower 130 00:07:43,100 --> 00:07:45,180 track like a Bavarian pretzel. 131 00:07:47,220 --> 00:07:48,220 Good night, all. 132 00:07:48,740 --> 00:07:49,740 Good night. 133 00:07:50,400 --> 00:07:52,920 Oh, what a lovely woman. 134 00:07:53,820 --> 00:07:57,940 Well, you have to put this in perspective, Maggie. I mean, she's so 135 00:07:57,940 --> 00:08:01,700 she can't admit the truth. She has to repress it. Oh, and what truth is that? 136 00:08:02,380 --> 00:08:06,080 That she should be rid of that guy right now. That the memory of him should be 137 00:08:06,080 --> 00:08:07,300 erased from all of us. 138 00:08:07,840 --> 00:08:10,100 Well, maybe I should be the one to go pick up the suitcase. 139 00:08:10,400 --> 00:08:11,800 Oh, you think I can't be objective? 140 00:08:12,180 --> 00:08:13,180 Yes. 141 00:08:14,060 --> 00:08:15,560 You misjudge me so. 142 00:08:22,760 --> 00:08:24,100 Enjoy the lasagna, Wally. 143 00:08:24,340 --> 00:08:26,500 And by the way, keep the teeth as long as you like. 144 00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:28,240 Bye -bye. 145 00:08:31,700 --> 00:08:32,700 Where? Where? 146 00:08:34,740 --> 00:08:35,740 Hey, 147 00:08:36,700 --> 00:08:37,919 Jerry, they fit far. 148 00:08:38,220 --> 00:08:39,220 Hi, Walt. 149 00:08:39,840 --> 00:08:41,220 What do you want, you quack? 150 00:08:41,580 --> 00:08:45,120 No need for name -calling, Wally. Well, then I got nothing more to say to you. 151 00:08:45,480 --> 00:08:47,780 I just came to get some of my mother's things. 152 00:08:51,840 --> 00:08:55,600 This is supposed to twist my lower tract into a sheep shank, right? 153 00:08:56,340 --> 00:08:58,220 I actually have a variant pretzel. 154 00:08:58,800 --> 00:09:00,140 Well, come on in. 155 00:09:02,480 --> 00:09:06,040 You just love this, don't you? Absolutely not, Wally. 156 00:09:06,340 --> 00:09:10,240 Well, tell her I'm sitting pretty with Jerry Vale's underwear and teeth. 157 00:09:12,260 --> 00:09:13,280 I'll tell her that. 158 00:09:13,520 --> 00:09:14,520 Where are the bags? 159 00:09:14,600 --> 00:09:15,600 Over there. 160 00:09:15,680 --> 00:09:18,620 And you can tell her for me, her little plan didn't work. 161 00:09:18,840 --> 00:09:21,000 I'm not going to be kept on a short leash. 162 00:09:21,600 --> 00:09:23,600 You actually think my mother's like that? 163 00:09:23,900 --> 00:09:27,860 Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho. All day long I hear, don't eat that. 164 00:09:28,120 --> 00:09:29,280 Oh, don't wear that. 165 00:09:29,580 --> 00:09:31,020 Don't you want to go to the theater? 166 00:09:31,560 --> 00:09:33,580 Well, hell no, I don't want to go to the theater. 167 00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:36,500 I want to watch a ball game and eat a brat. 168 00:09:37,540 --> 00:09:41,060 Well, she's only looking out for your best interest, Wally. Well, I will not 169 00:09:41,060 --> 00:09:42,740 manipulated by that woman. 170 00:09:42,980 --> 00:09:46,440 Well, these things happen all the time, you know. A couple's sailing along in a 171 00:09:46,440 --> 00:09:48,000 marriage and all of a sudden poofed. 172 00:09:48,360 --> 00:09:51,460 What poofed? This poof. Who poofed? You poofed. I didn't poof. 173 00:09:51,880 --> 00:09:55,420 You poofed your mother poofed. You take that back, Wally. Well, what am I 174 00:09:55,420 --> 00:09:57,320 standing here for talking to an errand boy? 175 00:10:00,760 --> 00:10:01,760 An errand boy? boy. 176 00:10:02,680 --> 00:10:04,280 All right, one more errand, Wally. 177 00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:07,620 Mother would like the deed of trust of this condo. 178 00:10:08,340 --> 00:10:11,440 Well, what does she want that for? I don't know. Who knows where these things 179 00:10:11,440 --> 00:10:12,119 could lead? 180 00:10:12,120 --> 00:10:13,119 What are you saying? 181 00:10:13,120 --> 00:10:15,640 I'm not saying anything, Wally. I'm a psychiatrist, not a lawyer. 182 00:10:15,960 --> 00:10:17,400 Lawyer? She's getting a lawyer? 183 00:10:17,720 --> 00:10:21,680 Well, yeah, the papers can wait for a day or two. Look, I'm just going to take 184 00:10:21,680 --> 00:10:23,280 these bags and you finish your lasagna. 185 00:10:23,820 --> 00:10:26,360 Oh, suddenly I'm not so hungry. 186 00:10:27,520 --> 00:10:29,760 Jason, I'm too old for this. 187 00:10:30,320 --> 00:10:31,229 Pardon me? 188 00:10:31,230 --> 00:10:34,310 Well, she's talking lawyers and condo papers? 189 00:10:34,530 --> 00:10:37,770 Well, I might have exaggerated a little. Maybe I got carried away. Oh, no, no, 190 00:10:37,770 --> 00:10:40,410 no more right now, Jason. My colon's dancing. 191 00:10:49,570 --> 00:10:56,210 Jason? No, Grandma. Just, uh... You ask her. No, you. You've known her longer. 192 00:10:58,270 --> 00:11:01,100 Look. Grandma, you can't sit around here moping all day. 193 00:11:02,160 --> 00:11:03,260 You want to shoot some hoops? 194 00:11:04,180 --> 00:11:05,720 Oh, that's very sweet, dear. 195 00:11:06,400 --> 00:11:07,400 No, thank you. 196 00:11:09,340 --> 00:11:11,420 There, we made the offer that takes care of that. 197 00:11:12,800 --> 00:11:18,640 Grandma, I heard about you and Wally. This is the worst thing. I have been so 198 00:11:18,640 --> 00:11:21,180 upset. I haven't been able to sleep or eat. 199 00:11:22,220 --> 00:11:23,600 This message is from me. 200 00:11:23,880 --> 00:11:26,160 It's from a boy last night. 201 00:11:29,360 --> 00:11:32,340 Oh, I'm sorry, dear. I guess I was just a little preoccupied. 202 00:11:32,680 --> 00:11:35,040 Oh, sure. Oh, sure. Just think of yourself. 203 00:11:36,780 --> 00:11:38,580 What was Carol shouting about? 204 00:11:39,260 --> 00:11:41,440 She was comforting me, I think. 205 00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:45,920 Oh, Jason, how did he take it when he picked up the bags? 206 00:11:46,300 --> 00:11:47,320 Well... Was he devastated? 207 00:11:47,780 --> 00:11:49,540 Well, I... Maggie, 208 00:11:50,860 --> 00:11:52,080 get your husband to talk. 209 00:11:52,820 --> 00:11:53,820 Jason, let's talk. 210 00:11:54,100 --> 00:11:57,600 Well, the luggage thing didn't work. He's on to you, Mother. Oh, he knows me 211 00:11:57,600 --> 00:11:59,440 well. He's smarter than he looks. 212 00:12:01,120 --> 00:12:07,820 So in keeping with the spirit of your plan, I ask him to turn over the 213 00:12:07,820 --> 00:12:09,520 papers to the Condor. 214 00:12:09,860 --> 00:12:12,600 My son, I have trained you well. 215 00:12:14,300 --> 00:12:17,760 You have no idea. We started talking, one thing led to another, and before I 216 00:12:17,760 --> 00:12:20,360 know it, he was asking me to help you two get back together again. 217 00:12:20,620 --> 00:12:21,620 You? 218 00:12:21,760 --> 00:12:23,500 But you can't stand Wally. 219 00:12:23,700 --> 00:12:25,040 I know, I know. I told him that. 220 00:12:25,440 --> 00:12:28,240 He said it didn't matter. As far as he's concerned, he believes that I'm an 221 00:12:28,240 --> 00:12:29,240 honest man. 222 00:12:29,320 --> 00:12:31,020 Then he was lying through his teeth. 223 00:12:32,460 --> 00:12:33,760 Actually, Jerry Bale's teeth. 224 00:12:36,360 --> 00:12:37,660 Hey, well, he's really upset. 225 00:12:38,600 --> 00:12:39,600 Are you sure? 226 00:12:39,680 --> 00:12:42,060 No, there was a whole plate of lasagna there. He couldn't eat a bite. 227 00:12:42,480 --> 00:12:44,060 But lasagna's his favorite food. 228 00:12:44,720 --> 00:12:46,140 I won't cook it for him ever. 229 00:12:49,100 --> 00:12:53,140 Look, he said that he thought I was his last chance to work things out or you 230 00:12:53,140 --> 00:12:55,840 two would lose everything. Oh, dear, this is more serious than I thought. 231 00:12:56,920 --> 00:12:57,960 What have I done? 232 00:12:58,680 --> 00:12:59,840 Excuse me, Irma. 233 00:13:00,900 --> 00:13:02,960 Jason, what have you done? 234 00:13:03,180 --> 00:13:07,020 Well, nothing. I even told Walter the idea for the papers in the condo. That 235 00:13:07,020 --> 00:13:09,720 mine, not Mom's. Well, something tells me that you weren't that objective. 236 00:13:10,160 --> 00:13:13,360 Maggie, nothing went on in that apartment that I'm ashamed of, all 237 00:13:13,360 --> 00:13:14,880 maybe that poof thing. 238 00:13:15,100 --> 00:13:17,220 What poof thing? Don't even get me started on that. 239 00:13:19,440 --> 00:13:20,440 Well, he's me. 240 00:13:20,840 --> 00:13:24,300 Listen, I was thinking that... What? 241 00:13:26,760 --> 00:13:27,760 Oh, yes. 242 00:13:29,520 --> 00:13:30,520 Goodbye. 243 00:13:32,580 --> 00:13:35,020 He said he can't talk to me. He's too upset. 244 00:13:35,940 --> 00:13:40,200 Oh, Irma, you two obviously love each other. You wouldn't be putting each 245 00:13:40,200 --> 00:13:41,159 through this hell. 246 00:13:41,160 --> 00:13:42,960 We can't even talk to each other anymore. 247 00:13:43,980 --> 00:13:46,860 Maybe what you need is just a little time to let things cool off, Mom. 248 00:13:47,790 --> 00:13:49,390 What I need is your help. 249 00:13:50,210 --> 00:13:53,790 If Wally can rely on someone he detests, so can I. 250 00:13:55,770 --> 00:14:00,270 Erma? Erma, I think that maybe what you and Wally need to do is see a 251 00:14:00,270 --> 00:14:03,470 professional. I don't want a professional. I want my son. 252 00:14:05,110 --> 00:14:07,370 No, look, I don't want to get in the middle of this, Mom. 253 00:14:07,750 --> 00:14:10,570 Well, you should have thought of that before you volunteered to go pick up my 254 00:14:10,570 --> 00:14:11,570 suitcases. 255 00:14:15,390 --> 00:14:16,990 Jason, I love you. 256 00:14:17,260 --> 00:14:19,060 And please don't take this personally. 257 00:14:19,460 --> 00:14:21,460 But you're a lying sack, you know that? 258 00:14:21,960 --> 00:14:24,580 Maggie, didn't you hear what I just said? I don't want to get caught in the 259 00:14:24,580 --> 00:14:27,940 middle of this thing. Jason, you can't tell me that on a subconscious level you 260 00:14:27,940 --> 00:14:31,480 weren't thrilled your mother handed you a gun loaded with a bullet with Wally's 261 00:14:31,480 --> 00:14:32,480 name on it. 262 00:14:33,740 --> 00:14:37,360 I'm a little hurt, Maggie, that my mother sees me more clearly right now 263 00:14:37,360 --> 00:14:38,099 you do. 264 00:14:38,100 --> 00:14:39,200 Oh, and how is that? 265 00:14:40,140 --> 00:14:44,700 Well, she's fully prepared to rely on her honest and fair and objective son. 266 00:14:46,440 --> 00:14:47,680 I thought you were an only child. 267 00:14:57,080 --> 00:14:58,420 Wally should be here by now. 268 00:14:58,820 --> 00:15:00,460 Are you sure you told him it's seven o 'clock? 269 00:15:02,880 --> 00:15:05,040 Will somebody open this damn door? 270 00:15:05,960 --> 00:15:07,180 Let him wait a minute. 271 00:15:08,140 --> 00:15:10,700 Are either of you going to open the door? 272 00:15:12,320 --> 00:15:13,480 Forty seconds to go. 273 00:15:17,870 --> 00:15:19,430 Wally, it's good to see you. 274 00:15:23,330 --> 00:15:24,330 Hi, Irma. 275 00:15:24,870 --> 00:15:25,870 Hi, Wally. 276 00:15:26,830 --> 00:15:27,830 Oh, you look different. 277 00:15:28,590 --> 00:15:29,590 It's the teeth. 278 00:15:31,370 --> 00:15:32,590 Would you like to sit? 279 00:15:33,010 --> 00:15:37,110 Sit? Well, I thought we were supposed to lie down and do things. 280 00:15:37,510 --> 00:15:41,430 No, no, it doesn't work quite that way, Wally. What happens is I talk to each of 281 00:15:41,430 --> 00:15:43,110 you individually, and then we all talk together. 282 00:15:43,450 --> 00:15:44,450 You first. 283 00:15:44,620 --> 00:15:45,359 You first. 284 00:15:45,360 --> 00:15:46,900 No, after you. Oh, you should go first. 285 00:15:47,540 --> 00:15:48,740 You have a serious problem. 286 00:15:50,940 --> 00:15:53,860 You should go first because you are the serious problem. 287 00:15:56,540 --> 00:15:58,920 I'll decide, all right? Wally, you're going first. 288 00:15:59,220 --> 00:16:00,940 Well, let's figure you should side with your mother. 289 00:16:01,280 --> 00:16:05,520 I'm not taking sides, Wally. Okay, Mom, you go first. Oh, you said me first. I'm 290 00:16:05,520 --> 00:16:06,199 going first. 291 00:16:06,200 --> 00:16:07,200 Okay, fine. 292 00:16:07,540 --> 00:16:09,300 Fine, Wally. Step into my office. 293 00:16:09,860 --> 00:16:10,860 Oh, no. 294 00:16:11,100 --> 00:16:14,420 I'm not going into some office and laying on a couch where crazy people 295 00:16:14,420 --> 00:16:15,420 been. 296 00:16:16,100 --> 00:16:18,160 Wally, you think mental illness is a virus? 297 00:16:18,800 --> 00:16:21,900 Well, from where I'm standing, it looks pretty much hereditary. 298 00:16:23,380 --> 00:16:26,980 Oh, look, look, I've got an idea. Why don't you and Wally talk here, and Irma 299 00:16:26,980 --> 00:16:27,980 and I will go in the kitchen? 300 00:16:28,040 --> 00:16:29,160 Good. Okay, come on, Irma. 301 00:16:29,640 --> 00:16:30,640 Wally. 302 00:16:34,500 --> 00:16:36,020 Which end do I put my head on? 303 00:16:36,900 --> 00:16:37,839 Doesn't matter. 304 00:16:37,840 --> 00:16:38,900 I figured as much. 305 00:16:39,630 --> 00:16:41,150 You don't have to lie down, Wally. 306 00:16:41,470 --> 00:16:42,550 Well, can I have a beer? 307 00:16:43,370 --> 00:16:45,750 Wally, come on. Let's just concentrate on why you're here. 308 00:16:46,070 --> 00:16:48,990 I'd like you to talk about your marriage to my mom and what you think are the 309 00:16:48,990 --> 00:16:50,290 problems. It blows. 310 00:16:52,130 --> 00:16:53,410 Can you be a little more specific? 311 00:16:54,410 --> 00:16:55,410 Blows chunks. 312 00:16:58,310 --> 00:17:02,670 Sometimes I think she's trying to turn me into the person she thought I was 313 00:17:02,670 --> 00:17:05,369 we were married, but I wasn't because we were courting. 314 00:17:05,880 --> 00:17:09,740 All day long I... Look at him sitting there pouring his guts out to me. 315 00:17:10,180 --> 00:17:11,180 Like I care. 316 00:17:11,520 --> 00:17:13,280 Wait, I do care. I'm a professional. 317 00:17:13,560 --> 00:17:17,180 The fate of their marriage is in my hands. I shouldn't be thinking these 318 00:17:17,240 --> 00:17:19,060 I should be listening to his every word. 319 00:17:19,420 --> 00:17:22,900 And why should I rely on Jerry Vale to bring me my lasagna? 320 00:17:24,359 --> 00:17:26,359 And I stopped thinking to hear that. 321 00:17:30,320 --> 00:17:31,960 Oh, you don't have to lay down, Mom. 322 00:17:32,900 --> 00:17:34,020 Did Wally lay down? 323 00:17:34,929 --> 00:17:35,929 No, he said. 324 00:17:36,230 --> 00:17:37,230 Then I'll lay down. 325 00:17:41,550 --> 00:17:42,550 Mom? 326 00:17:48,890 --> 00:17:50,730 What? You're supposed to talk. 327 00:17:51,730 --> 00:17:53,210 Oh, I thought you were supposed to talk. 328 00:17:53,590 --> 00:17:55,910 No, no, the way this works is you talk and I listen. 329 00:17:57,070 --> 00:18:01,110 You mean you spent all those years in that expensive medical school just to 330 00:18:01,110 --> 00:18:02,490 there like a bump on a log to listen? 331 00:18:08,040 --> 00:18:10,800 I'm used to talking and nobody talking back. That's what it's like being with 332 00:18:10,800 --> 00:18:11,800 Wally. 333 00:18:12,160 --> 00:18:15,720 And the Home Shopping Network has their lingerie bonanza on. 334 00:18:16,140 --> 00:18:17,700 Wally speaks this the whole night. 335 00:18:19,080 --> 00:18:23,220 That poor woman. Why can't she see how wrong Wally is for her? 336 00:18:23,480 --> 00:18:27,580 It is obvious to me is the fact that I'd love to go to bed with Maggie right 337 00:18:27,580 --> 00:18:28,580 now. 338 00:18:28,940 --> 00:18:29,940 Boy, that's interesting. 339 00:18:30,100 --> 00:18:33,120 Every time I think of my mom's marriage breaking up, I want to go to bed with 340 00:18:33,120 --> 00:18:35,360 Maggie. I could write a paper on that. 341 00:18:35,700 --> 00:18:36,700 Maybe a book. 342 00:18:37,050 --> 00:18:38,710 Maybe get on Donahue, Oprah. 343 00:18:39,310 --> 00:18:40,410 Wait a minute, I'm drifting. 344 00:18:41,110 --> 00:18:42,910 Let me stick to what's important here. 345 00:18:43,210 --> 00:18:45,450 It's just a paper. I don't have enough for a book. 346 00:18:46,010 --> 00:18:49,070 No, the subject's my mom. Listen to what the woman is saying. 347 00:18:49,270 --> 00:18:50,450 She's counting on me. 348 00:18:50,650 --> 00:18:53,930 And he's always throwing Jerry Bale's lasagna in my face. 349 00:18:56,830 --> 00:19:01,290 Okay, I've been out here 20 minutes giving this some really serious thought. 350 00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:07,200 I could torpedo this marriage and no one would be the wiser. 351 00:19:09,840 --> 00:19:10,840 Jason? 352 00:19:11,980 --> 00:19:12,980 I'm done thinking. 353 00:19:15,520 --> 00:19:18,680 Maggie, you... Oh, boy, you look great in that dress. 354 00:19:20,220 --> 00:19:22,800 Thank you, honey. What about your Mama Wally? Well, I'll get rid of it. 355 00:19:23,020 --> 00:19:25,900 No. No, I'm going to help you. 356 00:19:26,120 --> 00:19:27,300 I'll take care of this. 357 00:19:28,080 --> 00:19:32,060 For the next few moments, I would like you both to think of me not as your son 358 00:19:32,060 --> 00:19:35,480 and not as someone you despise, but as a professional, because I want to give 359 00:19:35,480 --> 00:19:36,480 you my professional opinion. 360 00:19:37,240 --> 00:19:38,240 Think they bought that? 361 00:19:38,640 --> 00:19:39,820 Yipper dipper, they did. 362 00:19:42,180 --> 00:19:47,460 Now, in any marriage, no matter how much love is involved or how much love you 363 00:19:47,460 --> 00:19:48,860 think you have for one another. 364 00:19:49,240 --> 00:19:53,700 There's also a practical side of the relationship. There's that bond that 365 00:19:53,700 --> 00:19:58,000 depends on a basic compatibility or incompatibility of the people involved. 366 00:19:58,460 --> 00:20:00,780 Oh, man, she's crossing her legs. 367 00:20:03,280 --> 00:20:09,460 And, uh... Oh, you two. With you two, there's some incompatibility, and I see 368 00:20:09,460 --> 00:20:10,460 that... Mommy, Mommy, Mommy! 369 00:20:10,620 --> 00:20:11,740 Oh, what is it, sweetheart? 370 00:20:12,280 --> 00:20:14,500 Wim and Wally have to stay together. 371 00:20:18,890 --> 00:20:21,630 No matter what happens, they'll both still love you. 372 00:20:21,970 --> 00:20:25,890 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just want Grandma out of my room so I can sleep with the 373 00:20:25,890 --> 00:20:26,890 light on. 374 00:20:28,350 --> 00:20:31,610 So wait a minute. What you want is more important than what's good for them? 375 00:20:31,870 --> 00:20:32,870 Yep. 376 00:20:33,630 --> 00:20:35,750 Well, aren't you being just a little bit selfish? 377 00:20:36,130 --> 00:20:39,170 What did you say, Jason? Aren't you being a little bit selfish? 378 00:20:39,610 --> 00:20:40,630 What did you say, Jason? 379 00:20:41,130 --> 00:20:45,130 You asked me about being a little bit selfish, and the answer is no. Yes. 380 00:20:55,290 --> 00:20:57,790 Let's just get to the bad news, okay? 381 00:20:59,070 --> 00:21:03,210 Well, I think it's obvious that with all the differences that exist between you, 382 00:21:03,430 --> 00:21:06,970 you should stay together. 383 00:21:07,570 --> 00:21:08,570 What? 384 00:21:09,130 --> 00:21:12,970 Well, because neither one of you have enough sense not to love each other. You 385 00:21:12,970 --> 00:21:13,970 heard me. 386 00:21:14,430 --> 00:21:17,930 But everything you said made it sound like we should give it up. Yeah, well, I 387 00:21:17,930 --> 00:21:19,130 got problems of my own. 388 00:21:20,390 --> 00:21:22,370 I gotta get some fresh air. 389 00:21:29,080 --> 00:21:30,080 Jason. What? 390 00:21:31,540 --> 00:21:32,540 I love you. 391 00:21:33,160 --> 00:21:34,160 What's that for? 392 00:21:34,800 --> 00:21:38,080 For not being as selfish as your four -year -old daughter. Come on. Did you 393 00:21:38,080 --> 00:21:40,620 actually think for a second that I would put my own needs first? 394 00:21:41,580 --> 00:21:42,580 Yep. 395 00:21:43,320 --> 00:21:46,900 But deep down, I knew you'd do the right thing. Yep, yep, yep, yep. 396 00:21:47,600 --> 00:21:50,280 You can't second -guess yourself. You did what was right. 397 00:21:50,520 --> 00:21:52,320 Oh, Raleigh, you got that out. 398 00:21:52,540 --> 00:21:56,020 Irma, what do you say we see one of those boring plays you like so much? 399 00:21:56,540 --> 00:22:00,400 What do you say to a little lingerie bonanza? Oh, Irma, I'm through with the 400 00:22:00,400 --> 00:22:01,400 whole shopping network. 401 00:22:01,740 --> 00:22:03,340 I wasn't talking about TV. 402 00:22:06,440 --> 00:22:08,120 Does that make you want to puke? 403 00:22:09,360 --> 00:22:13,960 No, honey. We don't have to wait for them to leave. We can turn in now. 404 00:22:15,380 --> 00:22:16,840 Too little, too late. 405 00:22:17,640 --> 00:22:18,680 I'm not in the mood. 406 00:22:19,520 --> 00:22:20,520 Hey, guys. 407 00:22:21,120 --> 00:22:22,120 Mike, where have you been? 408 00:22:22,380 --> 00:22:23,880 I've been dropping off the babysitter. 409 00:22:24,300 --> 00:22:26,920 But you left last night. I know. She lived in Cincinnati. 410 00:22:37,100 --> 00:22:41,060 You look like the kind of guy who would enjoy a good bedtime story. 411 00:22:41,320 --> 00:22:42,760 Mr. Mouse finds a home. 412 00:22:43,080 --> 00:22:44,320 Sorry, Chrissy, but Mr. 413 00:22:44,540 --> 00:22:45,540 Mike found a blonde. 414 00:22:45,860 --> 00:22:48,500 I've never seen a six -foot mouse before. 415 00:22:49,240 --> 00:22:50,620 Sweetheart, who are you talking to? 416 00:22:51,380 --> 00:22:52,380 What? 417 00:22:54,200 --> 00:22:55,500 I am a smush, too. 418 00:22:56,220 --> 00:22:59,340 Sorry, I figured something healthy was better for you.