1
00:00:01,099 --> 00:00:03,860
Maggie, if we don't leave now, we're
going to miss the start of that movie.

2
00:00:04,260 --> 00:00:06,700
I don't care. I'm just going to see Mel
Gibson.

3
00:00:09,440 --> 00:00:12,520
Remember, Mike, Chrissy's bedtime is...
Right now.

4
00:00:12,780 --> 00:00:14,300
Hey, you told me it was in an hour.

5
00:00:14,560 --> 00:00:16,140
You guys go. We'll work it out.

6
00:00:17,600 --> 00:00:21,720
Hey, when you get Chrissy to bed, look
into cleaning up that kitchen, okay?

7
00:00:22,080 --> 00:00:25,120
And we have a few light bulbs out on the
front porch. Could use changing.

8
00:00:25,710 --> 00:00:28,510
And remember that floor sander up in the
attic... Dad,

9
00:00:29,230 --> 00:00:30,770
come on. I'm just babysitting here.

10
00:00:31,170 --> 00:00:33,650
Mike, you're being very well paid for
the next four hours.

11
00:00:33,930 --> 00:00:36,610
Well paid? Yeah, right. And in fever
credit?

12
00:00:37,870 --> 00:00:40,050
Well, if you don't do those chores,
you're not going to get anything.

13
00:00:44,210 --> 00:00:45,750
The light bulbs are changed.

14
00:00:49,100 --> 00:00:50,740
then you just better get started on the
kitchen.

15
00:00:51,020 --> 00:00:53,100
I like it better when Carol babysits.

16
00:00:53,380 --> 00:00:56,680
Hey, now, come on. We can't begrudge her
her yearly date.

17
00:00:58,360 --> 00:01:00,120
Yo. Hey, you babysitting?

18
00:01:00,460 --> 00:01:02,240
Yeah. I was talking to Chrissy.

19
00:01:02,500 --> 00:01:03,500
I like that.

20
00:01:04,860 --> 00:01:06,380
Oh, you're laughing, huh?

21
00:01:06,580 --> 00:01:10,680
Yeah. Well, Mom and Dad left some strict
orders for you, okay? They want you to

22
00:01:10,680 --> 00:01:14,760
get in there and clean up the kitchen,
and then, um, you know that floor

23
00:01:14,760 --> 00:01:17,820
up in the attic? Well, they want you to,
uh, to, um... To what?

24
00:01:18,380 --> 00:01:21,080
Hey, if I were you, pal, I'd stop asking
questions and just get to it.

25
00:01:24,700 --> 00:01:29,480
All right, I got the big kid doing the
chores, and I got the little kid in bed.

26
00:01:34,100 --> 00:01:36,500
I just wanted you to know I'm a step
ahead of you.

27
00:01:47,470 --> 00:01:51,610
Don't waste another minute on your
crying.

28
00:03:04,270 --> 00:03:07,870
in the promised land of available babes.
Night. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

29
00:03:07,970 --> 00:03:11,610
Eddie, what do you mean promised land of
available babes? Oh, Michael, I have

30
00:03:11,610 --> 00:03:14,110
been to the mountaintop and I have seen
the other side.

31
00:03:14,990 --> 00:03:21,290
It is a place filled with beautiful
women, passionate women, hungry women.

32
00:03:22,690 --> 00:03:25,970
Michael, it's a place where they treat
men like red meat thrown into their

33
00:03:25,970 --> 00:03:26,970
cages.

34
00:03:28,720 --> 00:03:32,540
This isn't that place in New Jersey, is
it? No, Mike. Come on, let's go.

35
00:03:32,780 --> 00:03:36,360
No, I can't. I told you, Eddie, I'm
babysitting. Ben's 14. He doesn't need a

36
00:03:36,360 --> 00:03:38,520
sitter. No, no, no, no. Chrissy's here.

37
00:03:38,960 --> 00:03:40,320
Another reason Ben will be fine.

38
00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:45,140
I cannot go out with you until I find
some other sucker to babysit.

39
00:03:47,440 --> 00:03:51,500
I don't care how long it's been since my
last date. I refuse to go out with a

40
00:03:51,500 --> 00:03:52,560
guy who burps hello.

41
00:04:01,040 --> 00:04:02,540
Can't you see the girl is hurting here?

42
00:04:03,040 --> 00:04:07,360
I mean, come on, why can't she find a
decent guy who would appreciate her for

43
00:04:07,360 --> 00:04:08,440
the catch that she is?

44
00:04:09,420 --> 00:04:10,860
Is that a fish joke?

45
00:04:12,220 --> 00:04:15,900
No, I'm just saying that you're a
decent, caring person with great family

46
00:04:15,900 --> 00:04:17,579
values. That's true.

47
00:04:17,839 --> 00:04:21,839
And you're loyal, too. I mean, you're
the kind of girl who would just drop

48
00:04:21,839 --> 00:04:25,560
everything just to babysit your little
sister.

49
00:04:25,780 --> 00:04:26,940
Oh, you bet I would.

50
00:04:27,260 --> 00:04:28,260
See ya.

51
00:05:02,380 --> 00:05:03,380
Who are these people?

52
00:05:04,220 --> 00:05:05,580
Parents without mates.

53
00:05:07,700 --> 00:05:08,659
I'm leaving.

54
00:05:08,660 --> 00:05:10,160
Okay, Mike, fine. Leave more for me.

55
00:05:11,360 --> 00:05:14,860
See, I don't know about you, but I'm
just happy to find a place where I can

56
00:05:14,860 --> 00:05:16,520
relax and be myself.

57
00:05:17,180 --> 00:05:18,880
Edward! Oh, hi!

58
00:05:19,620 --> 00:05:21,220
How was Europe?

59
00:05:22,240 --> 00:05:23,240
Excellent!

60
00:05:25,160 --> 00:05:26,540
Here's your piece of the wall.

61
00:05:33,130 --> 00:05:35,350
from the parking lot. She's so happy.

62
00:05:37,190 --> 00:05:41,550
Eddie, look, all I'm saying is that this
is not my idea. Excuse me, is this 36C?

63
00:05:42,330 --> 00:05:43,330
36C!

64
00:05:46,050 --> 00:05:48,210
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it is. Thanks.

65
00:05:56,890 --> 00:06:02,390
All right, ladies and gentlemen, shall
we begin?

66
00:06:03,320 --> 00:06:04,320
Well, see you, Mike.

67
00:06:04,880 --> 00:06:06,960
I think I may stay for a minute or two.

68
00:06:09,420 --> 00:06:12,060
Oh, well, I see we have some newcomers
this evening.

69
00:06:12,960 --> 00:06:15,600
You want to tell us your name and how
you became a single parent?

70
00:06:20,620 --> 00:06:24,640
Well, you see, I... Oh, I didn't know.
No, no, no, please. Ladies first.

71
00:06:27,050 --> 00:06:30,370
This is all a little new to me, so if
it's okay with everybody, I'd just like

72
00:06:30,370 --> 00:06:32,590
listen for a while. That is more than
okay.

73
00:06:35,210 --> 00:06:36,210
Yes?

74
00:06:36,750 --> 00:06:37,830
She didn't give her name.

75
00:06:40,810 --> 00:06:41,810
I'm Rachel.

76
00:06:41,830 --> 00:06:42,830
Hi, Rachel.

77
00:06:44,890 --> 00:06:46,350
Great. I'm Mike.

78
00:06:46,730 --> 00:06:47,730
Hello, Mike.

79
00:06:50,070 --> 00:06:56,110
He said he loved kids, but when things
started getting serious, he said...

80
00:06:57,560 --> 00:06:58,660
Natalie, I'm gone.

81
00:06:59,800 --> 00:07:02,180
Please. You're tearing me up.

82
00:07:06,060 --> 00:07:08,280
I don't know. I just met him in the
hall.

83
00:07:09,460 --> 00:07:13,240
I see we're just about out of time, and
I want to thank you all for coming this

84
00:07:13,240 --> 00:07:14,240
evening. Good night.

85
00:07:18,800 --> 00:07:20,660
Thanks. You're welcome.

86
00:07:23,370 --> 00:07:25,870
I'm really glad I came tonight. Oh,
whoa, whoa, me too.

87
00:07:26,090 --> 00:07:27,090
Me too.

88
00:07:28,930 --> 00:07:29,930
I'm Mike.

89
00:07:30,910 --> 00:07:34,510
You've said that several times. Yeah,
well, I just want to let you know it

90
00:07:34,510 --> 00:07:35,510
hasn't changed.

91
00:07:38,290 --> 00:07:41,370
Hey, so you feel like maybe going out
and getting something to eat?

92
00:07:41,730 --> 00:07:44,170
Me? Yeah, I mean, it's only 9 .30.

93
00:07:44,410 --> 00:07:46,050
What about my babysitter?

94
00:07:47,410 --> 00:07:49,290
Oh, okay, but I'd rather go out with
you.

95
00:08:10,730 --> 00:08:12,570
does this alley bring back memories for
me?

96
00:08:15,710 --> 00:08:19,810
Oh, well, back at McNary High, this is
how me and my friends used to sneak in

97
00:08:19,810 --> 00:08:20,729
and out.

98
00:08:20,730 --> 00:08:23,650
Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a minute. You
went to McNary? I went to Dewey.

99
00:08:24,030 --> 00:08:26,970
Ooh, I know. I know, I know.

100
00:08:27,570 --> 00:08:31,690
Oh, this is going to sound dumb, but I
feel like a carefree college kid

101
00:08:32,070 --> 00:08:34,690
Oh, yeah, I could be reminded of that,
too.

102
00:08:35,870 --> 00:08:38,690
Oh, the last time I went dancing was
Judith's third birthday.

103
00:08:39,320 --> 00:08:40,679
And it was the Hokey Pokey.

104
00:08:41,200 --> 00:08:41,999
Oh, yeah?

105
00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:43,000
Who's Judith?

106
00:08:43,220 --> 00:08:44,220
Oh, my daughter.

107
00:08:44,960 --> 00:08:45,960
You have a daughter?

108
00:08:47,760 --> 00:08:49,140
Oh, oh, oh, right.

109
00:08:49,440 --> 00:08:50,980
That's right. I thought you said you had
a son.

110
00:08:51,360 --> 00:08:52,380
No, you have a son.

111
00:08:52,720 --> 00:08:53,720
That's right, I do.

112
00:08:54,940 --> 00:08:56,740
For a minute there, I forgot we both had
kids.

113
00:08:56,980 --> 00:08:58,640
And I want to thank you for reminding
me.

114
00:09:00,020 --> 00:09:01,400
Uh, what's your son's name?

115
00:09:01,680 --> 00:09:02,680
Uh, it's Chrissy.

116
00:09:03,300 --> 00:09:05,340
Uh, Chris E.

117
00:09:05,680 --> 00:09:06,680
Seaver.

118
00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:08,080
What does the E stand for?

119
00:09:09,120 --> 00:09:10,120
Elvis.

120
00:09:13,820 --> 00:09:18,120
Yeah, see, my ex -wife was a real big
fan. In fact, she left me to go find

121
00:09:20,440 --> 00:09:21,440
Just kidding.

122
00:09:22,540 --> 00:09:24,780
I wish I could laugh about my ex that
way.

123
00:09:26,500 --> 00:09:28,180
Mike, I had a lovely time.

124
00:09:28,480 --> 00:09:30,980
Oh, what do you mean, had? Come on, it's
only 12 .30.

125
00:09:31,400 --> 00:09:35,280
12 .30? Yeah, what's wrong? I told my
sitter I'd be home by 11.

126
00:09:37,320 --> 00:09:38,380
Just sneak in.

127
00:09:41,460 --> 00:09:43,580
Hey, okay, Rachel, when can I see you
again?

128
00:09:44,140 --> 00:09:45,580
Um, are you going to the picnic
tomorrow?

129
00:09:45,940 --> 00:09:47,500
Oh, I've been planning on it for a week.

130
00:09:48,340 --> 00:09:49,340
What picnic?

131
00:09:50,140 --> 00:09:52,140
The Parents Without Mates picnic.

132
00:09:52,860 --> 00:09:53,860
Oh, oh, right.

133
00:09:53,880 --> 00:09:56,860
You know, you have a chance to meet my
Judith, and I can't wait to meet your

134
00:09:56,860 --> 00:09:57,860
Chris.

135
00:09:58,260 --> 00:09:59,260
Neither can I.

136
00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:05,140
And you didn't think Ben standing away a
quarter inch of linoleum floor was a

137
00:10:05,140 --> 00:10:06,140
little odd?

138
00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:07,840
Carol, how could you...

139
00:10:08,850 --> 00:10:10,570
Wait a minute. Who did you put in
charge?

140
00:10:11,110 --> 00:10:12,930
Mike. And who sanded the floor?

141
00:10:13,190 --> 00:10:15,770
Ben. So how did this become my fault?

142
00:10:16,450 --> 00:10:20,510
Yeah, you're the most dependable child
we have. We rely on you. You rarely let

143
00:10:20,510 --> 00:10:21,209
us down.

144
00:10:21,210 --> 00:10:23,770
That's why it's so disappointing when
something like this happens.

145
00:10:24,690 --> 00:10:26,350
See you guys. Chris and I are going to
go to the park.

146
00:10:26,950 --> 00:10:30,410
Oh, great. He gets to go out and have
fun, and I get to sit here and be yelled

147
00:10:30,410 --> 00:10:32,110
at by you two, and I didn't even do
anything.

148
00:10:32,430 --> 00:10:34,510
Well, that just may be the problem,
young lady.

149
00:10:37,170 --> 00:10:38,170
How's that, Mike?

150
00:10:39,180 --> 00:10:41,320
No, no, no, no, no. Here, here, take the
wheel.

151
00:10:42,800 --> 00:10:44,460
Okay. All right.

152
00:10:44,840 --> 00:10:45,840
All right, now.

153
00:10:46,860 --> 00:10:47,860
Who's your daddy?

154
00:10:48,100 --> 00:10:49,100
You are, Dad.

155
00:10:49,480 --> 00:10:51,640
There we go. Okay, I got it.

156
00:10:52,040 --> 00:10:55,240
All right, very good. Now, are you a boy
or a girl?

157
00:10:55,600 --> 00:10:56,600
Today I'm a boy.

158
00:10:56,800 --> 00:11:00,080
Very, very good. Now, I want you to
forget about the today part.

159
00:11:00,440 --> 00:11:01,960
I'm a boy. I'm a boy.

160
00:11:02,200 --> 00:11:03,200
I'm a boy.

161
00:11:03,900 --> 00:11:06,180
I hope I'm not doing serious damage
here.

162
00:11:07,360 --> 00:11:08,580
All right, okay.

163
00:11:09,230 --> 00:11:10,230
There's only one more thing.

164
00:11:10,250 --> 00:11:12,370
Now, your middle name is Elvis.

165
00:11:12,910 --> 00:11:14,690
You mean the king?

166
00:11:17,790 --> 00:11:21,590
Hey, you're right. All right, go on.
Hey, come on. Hey, come on. Stop

167
00:11:21,910 --> 00:11:23,610
Let's go, Chris. Chris, open up. Here we
go. Here we go.

168
00:11:24,350 --> 00:11:26,570
What? Make a broken nail.

169
00:11:28,530 --> 00:11:30,570
Yeah, boys don't care about broken
nails.

170
00:11:30,830 --> 00:11:31,830
I don't either.

171
00:11:33,330 --> 00:11:37,170
You know, if I ever get married again
and have another child, I think I'd like

172
00:11:37,170 --> 00:11:38,390
boy. I'm a boy.

173
00:11:40,800 --> 00:11:41,800
That's rude.

174
00:11:43,080 --> 00:11:44,080
Mike, let's play.

175
00:11:44,240 --> 00:11:47,620
Yeah. Okay. Okay. All right. I'm going
to move us up for a little play. Come

176
00:11:47,660 --> 00:11:48,660
Come on. Let's go.

177
00:11:49,700 --> 00:11:50,700
All right.

178
00:11:50,940 --> 00:11:54,420
All right. Look. Yesterday, you felt
like a college kid. Today, you're going

179
00:11:54,420 --> 00:11:57,640
feel like a four -year -old. And by our
third date, you're going to be in

180
00:11:57,640 --> 00:12:00,880
diapers. I can't wait. All right. You
ready, guys?

181
00:12:01,500 --> 00:12:03,260
Ready. Okay. Here we go.

182
00:12:13,520 --> 00:12:17,740
a third date. Uh, I was wondering if
maybe... Oh, no.

183
00:12:18,280 --> 00:12:20,780
Uh, look, I can explain everything.

184
00:12:22,260 --> 00:12:23,560
Daddy, daddy, daddy!

185
00:12:30,840 --> 00:12:31,900
That's your son?

186
00:12:32,220 --> 00:12:34,440
Yeah, he's big like his mother.

187
00:12:35,920 --> 00:12:36,920
Mike?

188
00:12:38,140 --> 00:12:39,140
You were saying?

189
00:12:39,260 --> 00:12:40,380
Uh, nothing.

190
00:12:40,820 --> 00:12:42,400
Nothing. Uh, you were saying?

191
00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:47,860
Oh, well, no, I was just saying, you
know, speaking of a third date, I was

192
00:12:47,860 --> 00:12:50,160
wondering if you weren't busy tonight
and you could get a sitter.

193
00:12:50,360 --> 00:12:51,900
Oh, that wouldn't be a problem.

194
00:12:52,360 --> 00:12:54,320
Well, how about coming to my house for
dinner tonight?

195
00:12:54,640 --> 00:12:56,140
Oh, so you cook, too?

196
00:12:56,440 --> 00:12:57,440
No.

197
00:12:58,600 --> 00:13:00,860
Hey, well, I would love to.

198
00:13:01,500 --> 00:13:03,060
Yeah? Yeah, yeah, I'd love to.

199
00:13:05,500 --> 00:13:09,860
I'm probably making a big mistake by
telling you this, but I feel safe with

200
00:13:11,840 --> 00:13:12,840
You do?

201
00:13:14,510 --> 00:13:17,850
I haven't met anybody in a long time
that I can trust.

202
00:13:24,030 --> 00:13:25,330
What a great daddy.

203
00:13:25,570 --> 00:13:28,430
He gave me $20 for the ice cream truck.

204
00:13:28,670 --> 00:13:32,230
I want my change, young man, or you
won't sit for a week. You got that, puss

205
00:13:32,230 --> 00:13:33,230
bag?

206
00:13:33,530 --> 00:13:38,330
I'm serious.

207
00:13:38,550 --> 00:13:40,750
I mean, she says she trusts me. Michael.

208
00:13:41,180 --> 00:13:44,480
Trust is the second most important thing
a woman can give you, because without

209
00:13:44,480 --> 00:13:45,940
it, you can't get the first!

210
00:13:48,220 --> 00:13:50,960
Eddie, come on, man. She's been hurt
before.

211
00:13:51,460 --> 00:13:52,460
Not your fault.

212
00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:56,960
Eddie, she's got a little girl.

213
00:13:57,700 --> 00:14:01,100
All right, Mike, I see what you're
getting at. You feel it was a mistake

214
00:14:01,100 --> 00:14:03,120
to go to Parents Without Mates last
night, and you're right.

215
00:14:03,520 --> 00:14:05,800
Okay. You should have gone to Parents
Without Brains.

216
00:14:07,900 --> 00:14:08,900
Yeah.

217
00:14:09,980 --> 00:14:12,660
Eddie, I... I saw your card upstairs.
Here's your change from the ice cream

218
00:14:12,660 --> 00:14:13,660
money.

219
00:14:13,940 --> 00:14:17,140
37 cents? You wasted my 20 bucks on ice
cream?

220
00:14:17,460 --> 00:14:18,700
No, on my new CD.

221
00:14:19,280 --> 00:14:20,460
Oh, no, no, no.

222
00:14:20,680 --> 00:14:22,620
Don't give me that. I'm not made of
money.

223
00:14:23,020 --> 00:14:25,820
Oh, Dad, you should have thought of that
before you brought me into this world.

224
00:14:26,080 --> 00:14:27,140
Oh, yeah, no, no, no.

225
00:14:27,440 --> 00:14:29,780
Stop, stop. Cut it out. Cut it out.

226
00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:31,000
Hey, get out of here.

227
00:14:31,900 --> 00:14:32,900
Yeah, fungus.

228
00:14:34,380 --> 00:14:35,640
Hey, I'm talking to you two.

229
00:14:36,180 --> 00:14:37,420
Oh, hey, fine.

230
00:14:37,620 --> 00:14:39,720
I got some news that could cheer you up,
but...

231
00:14:40,190 --> 00:14:41,190
Guy, you're making me leave.

232
00:14:41,530 --> 00:14:42,570
All right, no, all right.

233
00:14:42,910 --> 00:14:43,910
Okay, okay.

234
00:14:44,070 --> 00:14:45,530
You know my girlfriend, Natalie?

235
00:14:46,630 --> 00:14:50,110
Yeah. Well, I just found out she's got a
daughter my age.

236
00:14:50,610 --> 00:14:52,870
I think we're talking letters to
penthouse here.

237
00:14:53,970 --> 00:14:55,610
Get out, get out, get out.

238
00:14:59,030 --> 00:15:00,030
Tacky enough?

239
00:15:00,550 --> 00:15:01,550
No comment.

240
00:15:02,770 --> 00:15:05,650
Jason, wouldn't it be easier if we have
this professionally installed?

241
00:15:06,070 --> 00:15:08,510
Maggie, those guys get three, four
hundred dollars.

242
00:15:34,290 --> 00:15:35,290
What's that?

243
00:15:35,710 --> 00:15:36,710
Um, my new CD.

244
00:15:37,410 --> 00:15:38,630
Where'd you get the money to buy this?

245
00:15:39,510 --> 00:15:40,510
Uh, money.

246
00:15:41,150 --> 00:15:42,290
You don't have any money, Ben.

247
00:15:44,110 --> 00:15:46,690
Did I say I bought it? I meant I stole
it.

248
00:15:49,430 --> 00:15:50,470
Hey, hey!

249
00:15:51,170 --> 00:15:52,170
Yeah?

250
00:15:52,990 --> 00:15:54,410
Where's that slime ball, Eddie?

251
00:15:57,460 --> 00:16:01,400
Why? Was something the matter? After
what Ben told me, Eddie did a lot.

252
00:16:02,240 --> 00:16:04,280
Eddie did something? Oh, yeah.

253
00:16:04,520 --> 00:16:08,940
He actually paid Ben to pretend to be
his son so Eddie could get closer to

254
00:16:08,940 --> 00:16:12,040
vulnerable, unsuspecting woman. Can you
imagine that?

255
00:16:13,000 --> 00:16:14,000
I can.

256
00:16:15,040 --> 00:16:18,700
Did Ben say anything else? Isn't that
enough?

257
00:16:19,200 --> 00:16:20,680
Oh, if it is for me.

258
00:16:22,200 --> 00:16:25,940
How's Ben supposed to learn to respect
women when there's an example like that

259
00:16:25,940 --> 00:16:26,940
around?

260
00:16:29,640 --> 00:16:32,460
I'm just glad that he still looks up to
you, Mike. I mean, you've really done

261
00:16:32,460 --> 00:16:36,640
some harebrained things in your life,
but you've never done anything as

262
00:16:36,660 --> 00:16:37,740
as scummy as that.

263
00:16:39,180 --> 00:16:41,560
Uh, well, don't you think you've been a
little strong, Dad?

264
00:16:42,660 --> 00:16:46,180
How else would you describe it, Mike,
when somebody takes advantage of

265
00:16:46,180 --> 00:16:47,660
at their weakest moment like that?

266
00:16:50,040 --> 00:16:51,860
I never really thought of it like that.

267
00:16:53,320 --> 00:16:56,240
Uh, and I'm sure Eddie probably never
thought it through either.

268
00:16:58,120 --> 00:16:59,140
That's nice of you, Mike.

269
00:16:59,440 --> 00:17:00,880
Sticking up for your friend like that.

270
00:17:02,080 --> 00:17:05,440
Tell you, I'm just glad that I don't
have a son who would do something like

271
00:17:05,440 --> 00:17:06,440
that.

272
00:17:19,160 --> 00:17:20,160
Mike, you're early.

273
00:17:20,540 --> 00:17:21,540
Hi.

274
00:17:22,099 --> 00:17:25,599
Look, Rachel, there's some things that
I've been thinking about, and there's

275
00:17:25,599 --> 00:17:27,819
something that I really need to talk to
you about, and I don't think it should

276
00:17:27,819 --> 00:17:28,820
wait.

277
00:17:29,200 --> 00:17:30,520
Paige, I can't find Judith's penguin.

278
00:17:31,600 --> 00:17:33,220
Ah, this has to be him.

279
00:17:33,820 --> 00:17:35,260
Yep. Mom,

280
00:17:36,040 --> 00:17:37,040
this is Mike Seaver.

281
00:17:37,380 --> 00:17:40,420
Mike, this is my mother, Betty. Hi, nice
to meet you. My pleasure.

282
00:17:40,840 --> 00:17:42,740
Excuse me, I'll just get Judith's
penguin.

283
00:17:44,120 --> 00:17:47,780
You don't look so goofy to me.

284
00:17:50,500 --> 00:17:52,420
Oh, she told you about that, huh?

285
00:17:52,680 --> 00:17:53,680
You remember Mike?

286
00:17:54,060 --> 00:17:56,280
I remember. I've been talking about him
all day.

287
00:17:56,580 --> 00:17:57,580
We should go.

288
00:17:58,110 --> 00:17:59,370
We're going to have such fun.

289
00:17:59,750 --> 00:18:00,689
Say goodnight.

290
00:18:00,690 --> 00:18:02,230
Bye, Mom. Bye -bye. Bye.

291
00:18:02,570 --> 00:18:04,650
Bye, Mommy. Bye, Mike. You're up.

292
00:18:06,450 --> 00:18:09,370
So, Mike, what was it that couldn't
wait?

293
00:18:12,610 --> 00:18:14,150
Uh, maybe it can wait.

294
00:18:15,770 --> 00:18:17,470
Okay, I'll go get my appetizers.

295
00:18:19,270 --> 00:18:20,830
No, it can't wait.

296
00:18:21,690 --> 00:18:22,690
Okay.

297
00:18:24,210 --> 00:18:26,450
Uh, get your appetizers.

298
00:18:27,860 --> 00:18:28,860
Okay.

299
00:18:37,400 --> 00:18:41,140
Can I get you something to drink?

300
00:18:44,140 --> 00:18:45,860
Look, Rachel, I'm not who I said I was.

301
00:18:48,580 --> 00:18:49,620
I've never been married.

302
00:18:51,060 --> 00:18:52,060
Never been married?

303
00:18:53,140 --> 00:18:54,140
No.

304
00:18:55,440 --> 00:18:56,440
It's okay.

305
00:18:58,120 --> 00:18:59,039
It is?

306
00:18:59,040 --> 00:19:00,680
You don't have to explain anything.

307
00:19:01,320 --> 00:19:04,940
All that matters is the love I see
between you and your son.

308
00:19:08,560 --> 00:19:11,020
Can I get you something to drink?

309
00:19:11,460 --> 00:19:12,580
Wine? Soft drink?

310
00:19:12,840 --> 00:19:13,840
Puffball?

311
00:19:15,500 --> 00:19:16,880
Look, my son is a girl.

312
00:19:20,020 --> 00:19:21,860
Pardon? Yes, Chris.

313
00:19:22,480 --> 00:19:25,700
Chris, it's my little sister Chrissy.

314
00:19:26,920 --> 00:19:29,820
And Eddie, that sleazy guy at the
meeting who I said I didn't know?

315
00:19:30,460 --> 00:19:31,900
The guy that works for the CIA?

316
00:19:34,860 --> 00:19:35,900
Yeah, that's the one.

317
00:19:38,620 --> 00:19:42,920
Look, he thought it would be a good idea
if the two of us went down to the

318
00:19:42,920 --> 00:19:45,520
parents without mates meeting to meet
some girls.

319
00:19:47,660 --> 00:19:48,660
So I went.

320
00:19:52,460 --> 00:19:53,460
I'm not a father.

321
00:19:56,720 --> 00:19:57,720
I guess I'm not much of anything.

322
00:20:07,740 --> 00:20:09,040
Rachel, come on, say something.

323
00:20:10,820 --> 00:20:11,860
You lied to me.

324
00:20:13,800 --> 00:20:15,980
Look, I... No, I thought you were
different.

325
00:20:16,620 --> 00:20:20,160
Look, come on, Rachel. I mean, I know
you must have been through a lot, and I

326
00:20:20,160 --> 00:20:23,720
didn't mean to hurt you, honest. Well,
nobody means to hurt anybody, but it

327
00:20:23,720 --> 00:20:25,060
still happens, doesn't it?

328
00:20:25,260 --> 00:20:28,620
Well, look, you know, the easiest thing
in the world for me to have done tonight

329
00:20:28,620 --> 00:20:30,180
would have been just not to show up
here.

330
00:20:31,140 --> 00:20:34,920
You know, but the only reason that I'm
standing here acting like a complete

331
00:20:34,920 --> 00:20:38,220
is because you mean something to me.

332
00:20:38,920 --> 00:20:40,020
You mean a lot to me.

333
00:20:42,480 --> 00:20:44,820
I mean, I really do care about you,
Rachel, and...

334
00:20:46,510 --> 00:20:47,910
I mean, can we just start over?

335
00:20:49,690 --> 00:20:50,690
Please?

336
00:20:53,010 --> 00:20:54,010
What do you say?

337
00:20:55,830 --> 00:20:58,370
My name's Mike Beaver, and I'm not a
father.

338
00:21:10,770 --> 00:21:12,450
Thanks a lot, Dad, for nothing.

339
00:21:12,810 --> 00:21:13,810
What's wrong, Mike?

340
00:21:21,100 --> 00:21:22,100
You want to know what's wrong?

341
00:21:22,600 --> 00:21:23,700
All right, I'll tell you what's wrong.

342
00:21:26,620 --> 00:21:27,660
Eddie's mad at me.

343
00:21:27,900 --> 00:21:28,499
He is?

344
00:21:28,500 --> 00:21:29,500
Yeah.

345
00:21:29,800 --> 00:21:31,580
Because I told him how angry you were.

346
00:21:32,200 --> 00:21:33,200
And?

347
00:21:33,500 --> 00:21:39,420
And... Well, he decided to go over to
this girl's house in person and tell her

348
00:21:39,420 --> 00:21:42,900
that he was lying to her and that he
really didn't have children and ask for

349
00:21:42,900 --> 00:21:43,900
forgiveness.

350
00:21:44,220 --> 00:21:48,360
And it was really hard for him, Dad,
because... I mean, he was about to walk

351
00:21:48,360 --> 00:21:49,420
the door, but he didn't.

352
00:21:49,800 --> 00:21:53,940
I mean, he really wanted to start over
with this girl with a clean slate.

353
00:21:54,960 --> 00:21:56,320
Because he really likes her.

354
00:21:57,160 --> 00:21:58,160
What happened?

355
00:21:58,900 --> 00:21:59,900
She kicked him out.

356
00:22:00,740 --> 00:22:01,740
Oh.

357
00:22:03,620 --> 00:22:04,620
Poor Eddie.

358
00:22:05,760 --> 00:22:08,620
I mean, Dad, what else could he have
done? I mean, it should have worked out

359
00:22:08,620 --> 00:22:09,620
okay.

360
00:22:10,620 --> 00:22:14,200
Well, you got to tell him, Mike. You
know, sometimes there are things in the

361
00:22:14,200 --> 00:22:15,820
adult world that just can't be fixed.

362
00:22:16,840 --> 00:22:18,340
But don't let Eddie doubt.

363
00:22:18,840 --> 00:22:20,560
For one minute, that he did the right
thing.

364
00:22:23,420 --> 00:22:24,420
Yeah.

365
00:22:25,780 --> 00:22:26,780
Good night.

366
00:22:27,180 --> 00:22:28,180
Good night.

367
00:22:28,440 --> 00:22:29,440
Oh, Mike.

368
00:22:30,120 --> 00:22:31,820
Something else you can tell Eddie for
me.

369
00:22:34,000 --> 00:22:35,000
Yeah?

370
00:22:37,080 --> 00:22:38,640
I'm very proud he's my son.

371
00:22:57,740 --> 00:22:59,020
Done growing pains.

372
00:22:59,720 --> 00:23:03,820
Some girl finds you vaguely attractive,
and you're about to turn her down?

373
00:23:04,360 --> 00:23:06,020
Well, look, let me put it this way.

374
00:23:06,240 --> 00:23:07,139
Did Mr.

375
00:23:07,140 --> 00:23:09,800
Haley say, I'll wait for the next comet?

376
00:23:12,680 --> 00:23:16,580
You really told him not to buckle the
peer pressure? To stand up to his

377
00:23:16,580 --> 00:23:17,580
and do the right thing?

378
00:23:17,640 --> 00:23:21,580
Yeah. And besides, if she's really
desperate, the weenie might get lucky.