1 00:00:09,050 --> 00:00:10,090 Oh, sweetheart. 2 00:00:13,210 --> 00:00:18,410 You know, I was just thinking, with Carol working late and Chrissy asleep, 3 00:00:18,410 --> 00:00:19,770 out doing God knows what. 4 00:00:19,990 --> 00:00:22,730 You and I have this whole house to ourselves. 5 00:00:24,530 --> 00:00:26,190 Jason, it's not even dark out. 6 00:00:26,490 --> 00:00:27,490 I know. 7 00:00:28,030 --> 00:00:29,290 I can't wait. 8 00:00:29,950 --> 00:00:32,070 This is my favorite re -run of Tag Me and Lacey. 9 00:00:32,270 --> 00:00:33,270 Spread them, clown! 10 00:00:33,970 --> 00:00:34,970 Never mind. 11 00:00:39,570 --> 00:00:41,310 Sounds like your son's in trouble again. 12 00:00:41,590 --> 00:00:44,410 Yeah, let's get him in here and make him watch Cagney and Lacey. 13 00:00:47,630 --> 00:00:52,850 What the heck's going on out here? Why is there sand all over the driveway? And 14 00:00:52,850 --> 00:00:56,070 it's 40 degrees out. What are you girls doing in bathing suits? 15 00:00:56,370 --> 00:00:59,850 Because we were stupid enough to believe that Ben was a serious filmmaker, like 16 00:00:59,850 --> 00:01:01,110 Sylvester Stallone. 17 00:01:02,050 --> 00:01:03,050 Ben, 18 00:01:03,210 --> 00:01:04,210 what do you have to say for yourself? 19 00:01:05,390 --> 00:01:06,390 Yo. 20 00:01:07,950 --> 00:01:08,950 Let's go, ladies. 21 00:01:11,630 --> 00:01:12,630 Talk now. 22 00:01:13,670 --> 00:01:18,850 Well, see, I was just finishing my movie for English class when Laurel and got 23 00:01:18,850 --> 00:01:23,330 the crazy idea that I was just doing the movie so I could, um... So you could 24 00:01:23,330 --> 00:01:24,330 grope me. 25 00:01:24,910 --> 00:01:26,710 If you're gonna leave, leave! 26 00:01:29,670 --> 00:01:32,350 Women can be so nuts. Wrong parent, Ben. 27 00:01:32,970 --> 00:01:35,530 Women can be so nuts. Wrong driveway, Ben. 28 00:01:36,940 --> 00:01:40,020 I thought you were going to do a documentary about me, a working mother 29 00:01:40,020 --> 00:01:41,260 to balance career and home. 30 00:01:41,900 --> 00:01:44,200 Face it, Mom, no one's interested in that. 31 00:01:45,220 --> 00:01:49,060 So you cast up something worthwhile like that to do girls in bathing suits? 32 00:01:49,480 --> 00:01:52,100 Jason, can you believe this? Your mother's got a point, Ben. There's 33 00:01:52,100 --> 00:01:53,680 wrong with doing a boring movie. 34 00:03:00,650 --> 00:03:04,090 The stuff on that tape, I haven't edited out yet. Yeah, I just bet there is. 35 00:03:04,870 --> 00:03:05,950 Well, what are you guys watching? 36 00:03:06,370 --> 00:03:08,270 Ben's movie for English class. 37 00:03:08,690 --> 00:03:12,030 What? Ben, you said you'd tell me when that was done so I could see how it came 38 00:03:12,030 --> 00:03:15,530 out. So you knew? You knew he wasn't making the documentary about Me Too? 39 00:03:15,870 --> 00:03:17,590 Well, I was there when Dad talked him out of it. 40 00:03:19,050 --> 00:03:20,050 Popcorn! 41 00:03:20,450 --> 00:03:22,630 Jason, we are about to start the tape. 42 00:03:25,390 --> 00:03:28,470 Ben, it's rated R! Come on, you admit it's dirty. 43 00:03:29,130 --> 00:03:33,070 No, I don't. It's just no kid wants to watch a movie anymore if it's not rated 44 00:03:33,070 --> 00:03:36,110 R. Oh, I bet your movie's rated R. I'm watching it. 45 00:03:38,030 --> 00:03:41,870 Well, Maggie, speaking as your husband, Jason, it sure has been a great Florida 46 00:03:41,870 --> 00:03:45,570 vacation, considering it's 1978 and we're a typical American family. 47 00:03:45,830 --> 00:03:49,630 And me being a working mom trying to balance a career and home. 48 00:03:50,970 --> 00:03:52,390 Those parents supposed to be us? 49 00:03:53,530 --> 00:03:56,190 Well... Seems like it would have been simpler to just write your movie parents 50 00:03:56,190 --> 00:03:57,230 like your real parents. 51 00:03:58,510 --> 00:03:59,510 They're kidding, right? 52 00:04:00,590 --> 00:04:01,990 Either you get it or you don't. 53 00:04:04,050 --> 00:04:05,650 Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. 54 00:04:06,890 --> 00:04:08,710 Jason, everything is so perfect. 55 00:04:08,930 --> 00:04:11,810 The sunshine, the good times, the oranges. 56 00:04:12,390 --> 00:04:14,370 How could possibly go wrong? 57 00:04:15,010 --> 00:04:18,310 Hey, Maggie, look. Baby alligators for 50 cents each. 58 00:04:22,010 --> 00:04:25,610 Alligator little, uh, little, uh, what's his name? 59 00:04:25,830 --> 00:04:27,960 Jason, that is our son. you are talking about? 60 00:04:28,620 --> 00:04:30,340 You'll have to give me a little bit more of a hint of that. 61 00:04:33,360 --> 00:04:37,140 Hey, stop all the hammering. We're trying to make a movie here. 62 00:04:38,900 --> 00:04:41,360 But Baby Alligator is so cute. 63 00:04:41,580 --> 00:04:44,560 Oh, yeah, and the best part, Maggie, is I got a ten -cent discount because he 64 00:04:44,560 --> 00:04:45,560 only has one eye. 65 00:05:30,830 --> 00:05:32,890 The parts in the stew. Keep your shirt on. 66 00:05:33,170 --> 00:05:34,270 Yes, please. 67 00:05:40,630 --> 00:05:41,630 Happy now? 68 00:05:43,690 --> 00:05:49,990 Well, honey, tell your husband, Jason, it sure is a beautiful day for 1990, as 69 00:05:49,990 --> 00:05:51,970 it's being a typical American family. 70 00:05:52,990 --> 00:05:57,890 Jason, honey, wasn't it worth trying to make a beautiful day for... 1990, 71 00:05:58,210 --> 00:06:00,490 considering we're a typical American family. 72 00:06:01,150 --> 00:06:03,570 Jason, I thought you were going to make breakfast today. 73 00:06:03,850 --> 00:06:09,870 I mean, after all, I am a working mother trying to balance a career and home. 74 00:06:10,090 --> 00:06:11,750 I need one of you guys to sign my report card. 75 00:06:12,010 --> 00:06:13,690 Oh, well, shouldn't it be one of your parents? 76 00:06:14,210 --> 00:06:15,450 You've got to go to my parents. 77 00:06:16,170 --> 00:06:17,170 Oh, right. 78 00:06:17,830 --> 00:06:20,070 Jim. Yes, Jim, Jim. 79 00:06:20,330 --> 00:06:22,950 My, Jim, haven't you grown over the last 12 years? 80 00:06:23,260 --> 00:06:26,020 since we bought that alligator and flushed him down the toilet and haven't 81 00:06:26,020 --> 00:06:27,020 thought of since. 82 00:06:31,040 --> 00:06:34,400 Don't you think that we should check his report card before we sign it? 83 00:06:34,600 --> 00:06:37,160 Why, dear, little Tim has turned out just fine. 84 00:06:37,680 --> 00:06:38,820 Jim! Jim! 85 00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:41,160 We named you. We can change it. 86 00:06:41,580 --> 00:06:42,580 Yes. 87 00:06:43,360 --> 00:06:46,320 Well, son, to show you that I have no hard feelings about these selfish 88 00:06:46,320 --> 00:06:49,560 outbursts, I'm going to reward you for all these fine C's. 89 00:06:50,020 --> 00:06:55,900 Here's a coupon for, uh... For six cents off of a tidy flush, which you can use 90 00:06:55,900 --> 00:06:59,540 to clean the toilet bowl where we flushed your alligator 12 years ago and 91 00:06:59,540 --> 00:07:00,540 haven't thought of it. 92 00:07:07,520 --> 00:07:10,480 Sorry. I didn't do it. 93 00:07:11,060 --> 00:07:12,800 Shut up. We'll shoot this thing. 94 00:07:16,820 --> 00:07:18,960 Sorry I'm late, Ms. Merkin. Here's my report card. 95 00:07:19,840 --> 00:07:20,840 Card. 96 00:07:22,280 --> 00:07:23,280 You new here? 97 00:07:24,980 --> 00:07:26,080 I'm Jim Jenkins. 98 00:07:26,520 --> 00:07:28,680 Well, how long have you been in my class? 99 00:07:29,140 --> 00:07:32,560 Eight years. Eight years? How come I've never seen you before? 100 00:07:32,860 --> 00:07:35,800 You have seen me. Every day when we have this conversation. 101 00:07:36,300 --> 00:07:38,900 Oh. Well, then stop being so bland. 102 00:07:39,580 --> 00:07:40,580 Yes, ma 'am. 103 00:07:42,400 --> 00:07:43,780 Oh, this is getting old. 104 00:07:44,080 --> 00:07:46,760 My parents don't know me. My teacher doesn't know me. 105 00:07:47,360 --> 00:07:50,620 You can't sit there. My best friend Jim Jenkins usually sits there. 106 00:07:51,770 --> 00:07:52,770 I am Jim Jenkins. 107 00:07:53,210 --> 00:07:55,490 Sorry, Jim. You're just so darn forgettable. 108 00:07:55,910 --> 00:07:57,830 Well, don't forget who you are, skunky. 109 00:07:58,210 --> 00:07:59,410 That's because I smell. 110 00:08:01,890 --> 00:08:06,230 Ooh, here comes Bambi, the hottest, most beautiful girl in school. She's got the 111 00:08:06,230 --> 00:08:09,130 body of a 5 '8'' beauty on a 4 '8'' frame. 112 00:08:13,080 --> 00:08:16,560 You're not going to use that, are you? Not only is she beautiful, she's smart. 113 00:08:16,640 --> 00:08:20,500 She's today's woman with the right combination of savvy style and 114 00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:22,160 and the giddiness that makes me dizzy. 115 00:08:22,660 --> 00:08:23,660 Who are you? 116 00:08:25,460 --> 00:08:26,460 I'm Jim Jenkins. 117 00:08:26,660 --> 00:08:28,580 I've been going to school with you for eight years. 118 00:08:28,920 --> 00:08:30,440 I knew you before you had breasts. 119 00:08:30,760 --> 00:08:32,020 Who had breasts? 120 00:08:32,440 --> 00:08:33,919 Shut up, Stinky. That's her line. 121 00:08:34,700 --> 00:08:36,120 I'm not going to say that, Ben. 122 00:08:36,539 --> 00:08:40,260 Hey, a breast is a part of a chicken. The most popular part, I believe. 123 00:08:41,150 --> 00:08:42,950 Benny, you're not helping yourself here. 124 00:08:43,789 --> 00:08:45,050 I have a wardrobe question. 125 00:08:45,830 --> 00:08:48,130 Why am I wearing a bathing suit in class? 126 00:08:48,650 --> 00:08:50,070 Because you're going to the beach later. 127 00:08:50,890 --> 00:08:52,690 But would my character know that yet? 128 00:08:53,650 --> 00:08:54,970 Laura, Laura, Laura. 129 00:08:55,730 --> 00:09:00,670 See, this girl Bambi isn't like you at all. She's just a dumb bimbo. 130 00:09:01,310 --> 00:09:04,630 But you said she was a savvy, stylish, sophisticated woman. 131 00:09:04,970 --> 00:09:07,290 I didn't say that. Jim said that. 132 00:09:07,600 --> 00:09:10,560 See, he was just lying. He'd do anything to get a chance to grope her. 133 00:09:10,980 --> 00:09:12,180 Is that fleas? 134 00:09:12,520 --> 00:09:13,940 Hey, he disgusts me, too. 135 00:09:14,300 --> 00:09:15,980 But I'll do my best to play him. 136 00:09:17,020 --> 00:09:18,020 Yeah. 137 00:09:22,980 --> 00:09:23,980 Okay. 138 00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:48,100 Everyone forgetting my name. 139 00:09:48,360 --> 00:09:49,440 I hate school. 140 00:09:49,900 --> 00:09:51,180 I think I'm going to drop out. 141 00:09:51,720 --> 00:09:53,440 Don't be a fool. Stay in school. 142 00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:56,040 Dropouts just take their future and flush it down the toilet. 143 00:09:56,460 --> 00:09:58,200 Much like that one -eyed alligator. 144 00:09:58,760 --> 00:10:00,360 Oh, great. 145 00:10:01,780 --> 00:10:03,480 Don't be a fool. Stay in school. 146 00:10:03,780 --> 00:10:05,880 Dropouts just take their future and drop it. 147 00:10:06,620 --> 00:10:08,360 Don't be a fool. Stay in school. 148 00:10:08,600 --> 00:10:10,900 Dropouts just take their future and flush it down the toilet. 149 00:10:11,300 --> 00:10:14,680 Much like that one -eyed alligator your parents bought for you 12 years ago and 150 00:10:14,680 --> 00:10:15,680 never thought of since. 151 00:10:20,010 --> 00:10:23,590 God, Stinky, I'm glad we had this little talk. I'm going to stay in school. 152 00:10:24,530 --> 00:10:27,810 Speaking of dizzy, want to think about blondes first or redheads? 153 00:10:28,250 --> 00:10:32,530 I don't care who we think about. I have to get my mind off a beautiful Bambi. 154 00:10:32,870 --> 00:10:34,070 Just stick to the script. 155 00:10:34,690 --> 00:10:38,550 I'm sure someday, Jim, you'll do something to make her notice you. 156 00:10:38,550 --> 00:10:40,310 big. Something great. 157 00:10:40,790 --> 00:10:42,250 Till then, you can dream. 158 00:10:42,450 --> 00:10:43,490 I can go to the camp. 159 00:10:50,120 --> 00:10:52,260 At least open the window a crack in there, Jim. 160 00:10:54,520 --> 00:10:55,520 Skunky? 161 00:10:56,680 --> 00:10:57,860 Skunky, you okay in there? 162 00:10:58,380 --> 00:10:59,380 Skunky? 163 00:11:00,860 --> 00:11:01,860 Skunky! 164 00:11:05,260 --> 00:11:07,040 Skunky, what happened? You're just ahead. 165 00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:09,520 An alligator came out of the toilet and ate me. 166 00:11:10,040 --> 00:11:11,040 Why didn't you run? 167 00:11:11,300 --> 00:11:14,020 I didn't see him coming. I don't have eyes in the back of my head. 168 00:11:14,280 --> 00:11:17,540 Come to think of it, I don't have anything in the back of my head. 169 00:11:18,530 --> 00:11:20,750 Jim, I only have time to give you this one warning. 170 00:11:21,030 --> 00:11:24,390 All the alligators that were flushed down the toilets by American parents who 171 00:11:24,390 --> 00:11:27,290 haven't thought of them since have come home to Ruth. 172 00:11:35,230 --> 00:11:36,230 Well, 173 00:11:37,210 --> 00:11:42,010 as your husband, Maggie, I sure am glad that we have a typical American family 174 00:11:42,010 --> 00:11:46,490 with two cars, a beautiful home, and a child of some sort. 175 00:11:47,060 --> 00:11:49,060 And a big green dog. 176 00:11:50,980 --> 00:11:51,980 Come on, Dad. 177 00:11:52,180 --> 00:11:55,140 Skunky Mulligan just got eaten by a gator that climbed out of our toilet. 178 00:11:55,140 --> 00:11:56,140 for your lives! 179 00:11:56,280 --> 00:12:00,280 Well, if you were our... I'm sorry, young man, but our son isn't here to 180 00:12:00,280 --> 00:12:01,280 with you. 181 00:12:01,460 --> 00:12:04,840 I am your Skunky Mulligan just got eaten by a gator that came out of our toilet. 182 00:12:05,460 --> 00:12:08,500 I'm sorry, young man, but our son isn't here to play with you. 183 00:12:08,820 --> 00:12:10,100 I am your son, Jim. 184 00:12:10,900 --> 00:12:14,120 Well, if you were my son, you would know my name isn't Jim. It's Jason. 185 00:12:14,440 --> 00:12:16,120 This is our son, Jason. 186 00:12:16,980 --> 00:12:19,240 We don't have a son, Jason. That's my name. 187 00:12:20,140 --> 00:12:23,040 When you two are trying to figure out who you are, an alligator could come 188 00:12:23,040 --> 00:12:24,040 through the living room. 189 00:12:24,540 --> 00:12:27,300 Well, if it did, our big green dog would get him. 190 00:12:29,320 --> 00:12:36,240 My parents wouldn't believe me. And no one else knows 191 00:12:36,240 --> 00:12:37,179 who I am. 192 00:12:37,180 --> 00:12:38,540 Who can I tell about this? 193 00:12:48,200 --> 00:12:49,900 Operator, give me the number for 911. 194 00:12:51,460 --> 00:12:52,460 Oh, yeah. 195 00:12:52,800 --> 00:12:54,200 This is President Bush. 196 00:12:55,020 --> 00:12:56,680 That's who you get when you dial 911. 197 00:12:57,160 --> 00:13:01,380 Well, I got tired of giving out the time. By the way, it's 1 .15 in 30 198 00:13:02,880 --> 00:13:03,920 Look, Mr. 199 00:13:04,180 --> 00:13:07,540 President, a grave danger threatens the whole planet. There are alligators 200 00:13:07,540 --> 00:13:08,540 everywhere. 201 00:13:08,720 --> 00:13:11,540 This is Vice President Quayle again, isn't it? 202 00:13:12,060 --> 00:13:14,580 No, this is Jim Jenkins, and I'm serious, okay? 203 00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:15,960 Look, I... 204 00:13:16,430 --> 00:13:17,630 You've got to help call the Army. 205 00:13:17,830 --> 00:13:22,070 You've got to call the Army, the Navy, even the Air Force. 206 00:13:22,450 --> 00:13:26,970 Now, as your president, let me assure you that you have nothing to worry 207 00:14:12,560 --> 00:14:14,200 Jason, we have to go to the bathroom. 208 00:14:15,100 --> 00:14:16,100 I don't. 209 00:14:16,280 --> 00:14:17,280 Yes, you do. 210 00:14:19,760 --> 00:14:21,020 Well, look before you sit. 211 00:14:24,780 --> 00:14:28,100 Man, for people who want to see my movie, they're sure taking a long time 212 00:14:28,100 --> 00:14:30,400 bathroom. Benny, they're not in the bathroom. 213 00:14:31,100 --> 00:14:32,820 But they said they had to... Trust me. 214 00:14:33,040 --> 00:14:35,040 It's their own parents' trick. They're talking about you. 215 00:14:35,560 --> 00:14:36,419 You think? 216 00:14:36,420 --> 00:14:38,180 They have a lot to talk about, Ben. 217 00:14:38,540 --> 00:14:40,140 You're one thick little... 218 00:14:42,540 --> 00:14:43,940 Okay, Maggie, you were right about Ben. 219 00:14:44,160 --> 00:14:46,400 His hornballosity has gotten out of hand. 220 00:14:46,880 --> 00:14:47,920 You're wrong, Jason. 221 00:14:48,220 --> 00:14:50,840 I agreed with you, Maggie. How can I be wrong? I was wrong. 222 00:14:51,140 --> 00:14:53,360 Then I'm not wrong. Of course you are. Haven't you been listening? 223 00:14:54,200 --> 00:14:57,500 Jason, would Ben spend all this time, money, and effort with a cast of 224 00:14:57,500 --> 00:14:58,740 just to make out with Laura Lynn? 225 00:14:59,160 --> 00:15:00,160 Heck, I would. 226 00:15:00,860 --> 00:15:04,500 Not Laura Lynn. I mean, if I were a young boy and you were a young girl. 227 00:15:04,940 --> 00:15:06,460 Not that you're not a young girl, Maggie. 228 00:15:06,920 --> 00:15:11,100 Jason, think about it. A kid nobody listens to. People, his parents ignoring 229 00:15:11,100 --> 00:15:13,780 him. So he's got to save the world on his own. 230 00:15:14,120 --> 00:15:17,100 Honey, this movie is a cry for help. It's a cry for something. 231 00:15:18,900 --> 00:15:23,400 I stood on that ledge for an hour, thinking if I couldn't save the world, 232 00:15:23,400 --> 00:15:25,460 least I could populate a new one with Bambi. 233 00:15:26,640 --> 00:15:28,620 Luckily, I had a plane. 234 00:15:29,560 --> 00:15:31,940 Well, well, the engine looks okay. 235 00:15:34,090 --> 00:15:38,510 Now, I'll just get into the cockpit and... Dad, you... 236 00:15:38,510 --> 00:15:42,990 Okay, let's see what this baby can do. 237 00:15:52,110 --> 00:15:53,110 Where could she be? 238 00:15:53,270 --> 00:15:54,270 Where could she be? 239 00:16:05,390 --> 00:16:06,390 as fine as ever. 240 00:16:06,590 --> 00:16:09,530 Five foot eight inch beauty on a four foot eight inch frame. 241 00:16:10,370 --> 00:16:12,230 That's more like a four inch frame to me. 242 00:16:12,950 --> 00:16:14,330 And there they are. 243 00:16:18,890 --> 00:16:22,730 I could look for a safe place to land, but then I'd be too late. 244 00:16:23,530 --> 00:16:26,150 Or risk everything they've been. 245 00:16:41,360 --> 00:16:42,360 It was a close call. 246 00:16:44,220 --> 00:16:45,220 Hey, 247 00:16:46,440 --> 00:16:47,720 everybody run for your lives! 248 00:16:48,220 --> 00:16:49,220 Who are you? 249 00:16:49,440 --> 00:16:50,580 I'm Jim Jenkins. 250 00:16:50,820 --> 00:16:53,260 I've been going to school with you before you had breasts. 251 00:16:53,640 --> 00:16:57,480 Oh, yeah, you're the bad boy whose parents flushed the alligator down the 252 00:16:57,480 --> 00:16:58,720 and haven't thought of it since. 253 00:17:03,060 --> 00:17:05,180 Yeah, well, they're back, and they're bad. 254 00:17:22,160 --> 00:17:23,160 I'll protect you. 255 00:17:23,180 --> 00:17:25,420 If you save my life, I'll show you my appreciation. 256 00:17:54,250 --> 00:17:55,169 Yeah, Bambi. 257 00:17:55,170 --> 00:17:56,910 You feel like catching a little shut -eye, too? 258 00:18:07,490 --> 00:18:09,430 Jim! You know my name? 259 00:18:09,870 --> 00:18:12,010 Nobody on Earth knows who I am, and you do? 260 00:18:12,450 --> 00:18:14,150 I was your gator, Jim. 261 00:18:14,670 --> 00:18:15,670 Remember me? 262 00:18:15,870 --> 00:18:16,870 Flush. 263 00:18:22,670 --> 00:18:24,930 You'd be surprised what you pick up in the sewers, Jim. 264 00:18:26,290 --> 00:18:28,710 What are you doing killing people? 265 00:18:28,990 --> 00:18:30,330 We never meant to kill anyone. 266 00:18:30,630 --> 00:18:32,390 We just want what everybody wants. 267 00:18:32,630 --> 00:18:36,150 Enough to eat. A decent neighborhood to raise our kids in. 268 00:18:37,030 --> 00:18:43,450 And I want this guy here to get an A on this film project. 269 00:18:45,570 --> 00:18:49,510 Well, why don't you just swim for the open water? Where the ocean's clean and 270 00:18:49,510 --> 00:18:50,510 there's plenty of fish. 271 00:18:50,910 --> 00:18:52,090 What a great idea. 272 00:18:52,670 --> 00:18:57,190 And as for me getting an A, it's all in Mr. Bloomberg's hands. 273 00:18:57,870 --> 00:19:01,150 Well, he's a great guy, and he won't let me down. 274 00:19:01,810 --> 00:19:02,830 Come on, guys. 275 00:19:08,030 --> 00:19:11,530 Jim, you're my hero. How can I ever thank you? 276 00:19:16,090 --> 00:19:17,090 Well, 277 00:19:17,450 --> 00:19:20,210 your mother's got a point, Ben. There's nothing wrong with doing a boring movie. 278 00:19:22,830 --> 00:19:25,390 That's enough, Ben. I think this is where we came in. 279 00:19:26,890 --> 00:19:29,590 Hey, it's a well -known fact that cameras can lie. 280 00:19:29,810 --> 00:19:31,530 Yeah, so can 13 -year -old boys. 281 00:19:32,130 --> 00:19:34,310 We're going to have a little talk about respecting women. 282 00:19:34,530 --> 00:19:35,530 Jason, please. 283 00:19:36,210 --> 00:19:38,410 Ben, I know what you were trying to do. 284 00:19:38,770 --> 00:19:39,749 You do? 285 00:19:39,750 --> 00:19:41,850 Yes. You were feeling ignored and insignificant. 286 00:19:42,850 --> 00:19:43,669 I was? 287 00:19:43,670 --> 00:19:46,190 And why shouldn't you? You're not the oldest, you're not the youngest, and 288 00:19:46,190 --> 00:19:48,570 you're certainly not the smartest. Mom, you're depressing me. 289 00:19:49,680 --> 00:19:52,800 I'm just saying, honey, I know that you made this movie to be noticed. 290 00:19:53,280 --> 00:19:54,099 I did? 291 00:19:54,100 --> 00:19:56,740 Well, it's either that or you're one thick little puppy. 292 00:19:57,980 --> 00:19:58,980 That's how I vote. 293 00:20:00,120 --> 00:20:03,820 What? Ben, I think you made this movie just so you could kiss your girlfriend. 294 00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:09,120 Okay, you got me. 295 00:20:10,560 --> 00:20:12,200 What, so this wasn't a cry for help? 296 00:20:13,040 --> 00:20:15,700 In a way. I don't understand males. 297 00:20:16,060 --> 00:20:18,540 Well, you're not going to learn anything watching Cagney and Lacey. 298 00:20:19,340 --> 00:20:20,820 And I don't understand women. 299 00:20:21,600 --> 00:20:23,400 Cagney and Lacey can't help you there either. 300 00:20:24,600 --> 00:20:27,740 Jason, you're not saying that you're actually proud of your son's behavior. 301 00:20:28,040 --> 00:20:32,980 No, I'm not, Maggie. I want Ben to learn to respect women. As human beings, not 302 00:20:32,980 --> 00:20:33,980 as sex objects. 303 00:20:34,540 --> 00:20:35,540 Cutie. 304 00:20:36,040 --> 00:20:41,640 Can I at least finish my movie? There's another scene? 305 00:20:42,500 --> 00:20:44,140 Yeah, it's the big scene. 306 00:20:44,400 --> 00:20:45,780 The big finish. 307 00:20:46,080 --> 00:20:48,020 And I was going to ask you and Dad to be in it. 308 00:20:48,400 --> 00:20:49,420 Yeah, right, Ben. 309 00:20:49,680 --> 00:20:51,680 And I'm the President of the United States. 310 00:20:59,940 --> 00:21:01,660 Here's your Medal of Honor, Jim. 311 00:21:03,260 --> 00:21:06,160 For bravery above and beyond the call of duty. 312 00:21:07,440 --> 00:21:10,740 Thank you very much, Mr. President. May I say something, young man? 313 00:21:11,419 --> 00:21:14,560 Well, see, Miss Bush, you don't actually have any lines here. Oh, fine. 314 00:21:14,840 --> 00:21:19,140 But you see, any time an upstanding American boy tries to kiss an American 315 00:21:19,140 --> 00:21:21,520 under false pretenses, it's wrong. Got it? 316 00:21:22,220 --> 00:21:23,179 Yes, Mom. 317 00:21:23,180 --> 00:21:26,860 And you'll find that young American women are far too clever to fall for 318 00:21:26,860 --> 00:21:27,860 silly ploys. 319 00:21:29,640 --> 00:21:31,760 Ben, you're shooting a scene without me? 320 00:21:32,240 --> 00:21:33,340 What are you doing here? 321 00:21:34,140 --> 00:21:36,040 Excuse me, Mr. and Mrs. President. 322 00:21:41,659 --> 00:21:45,400 Your movie was kind of a video love letter to me. 323 00:21:45,700 --> 00:21:50,080 The savvy, stylish, sophisticated woman whose giddiness makes you dizzy. 324 00:21:50,880 --> 00:21:52,680 You didn't want to grope me at all. 325 00:21:54,640 --> 00:21:56,320 Finally, we understand each other. 326 00:21:57,540 --> 00:21:58,900 I'm ready to go back to work now. 327 00:22:00,000 --> 00:22:03,580 Well, what are we wasting our time on this deadbeat scene for? Let's go back 328 00:22:03,580 --> 00:22:04,580 the beach. 329 00:22:04,900 --> 00:22:06,220 Ben, what about your movie? 330 00:22:06,540 --> 00:22:07,540 It's over. 331 00:22:09,260 --> 00:22:12,720 Barbara, it looks like you and me have the White House all to ourselves. 332 00:22:13,680 --> 00:22:15,020 Oh, George. 333 00:22:17,220 --> 00:22:19,200 Could you kiss again? I missed it. 334 00:22:32,640 --> 00:22:33,840 We'll be back in a moment.