1 00:00:07,440 --> 00:00:10,380 Glug, glug, glug. Oh, this is great. I gotta get an A. 2 00:00:11,400 --> 00:00:12,700 No, you won't. 3 00:00:13,100 --> 00:00:17,240 Are you kidding? I got this baby rigged to blow at the push of a button. I mean, 4 00:00:17,260 --> 00:00:18,300 lava's gonna shoot everywhere. 5 00:00:18,620 --> 00:00:21,760 Over roads, Romans, gladiators, naked virgins. 6 00:00:23,400 --> 00:00:25,680 But you won't get an A. Why? 7 00:00:25,920 --> 00:00:29,700 Because people like you don't get A's. They just mark their time in school so 8 00:00:29,700 --> 00:00:32,580 they can take their rightful place in society as toll collectors. 9 00:00:34,160 --> 00:00:36,320 Put your face over my volcano and say that. 10 00:00:46,390 --> 00:00:50,030 Ben, I need that table cleared off. I'm coming back with lots of groceries for 11 00:00:50,030 --> 00:00:53,090 your father's party. But it's not till tomorrow. And I haven't even had my 12 00:00:53,090 --> 00:00:56,330 test firing yet. Get that mountain thingy out of my kitchen now. 13 00:00:56,610 --> 00:00:59,870 It's not a mountain thingy. It's a... A C -plus top. 14 00:01:01,630 --> 00:01:04,010 Jason, we never got an RSVP from the Blankenship. 15 00:01:04,489 --> 00:01:05,289 Yes, we did. 16 00:01:05,290 --> 00:01:06,610 Rich told me at the office. 17 00:01:06,930 --> 00:01:07,950 Well, you didn't tell me. 18 00:01:08,650 --> 00:01:10,830 The blanket chips are coming to the reception tomorrow. 19 00:01:14,830 --> 00:01:17,250 Okay, then that makes 54 people. 20 00:01:17,710 --> 00:01:19,070 And the Johnsons, too. 21 00:01:19,590 --> 00:01:22,530 How many others have you forgotten to tell me about? None, Maggie. 22 00:01:23,030 --> 00:01:27,950 Well, the Snyders. Oh, geez, how can I plan for this thing if you keep changing 23 00:01:27,950 --> 00:01:31,430 the number of people who are coming? Honey, relax. It's 58, and we ordered 24 00:01:31,430 --> 00:01:32,430 for 60. 25 00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:35,000 I wonder if it's too late to call the caterer and cut back the order. 26 00:01:35,760 --> 00:01:36,760 Just a thought. 27 00:01:36,900 --> 00:01:40,360 Jason, I just want everything to be perfect. I mean, we don't know these 28 00:01:40,440 --> 00:01:41,980 and they're important, they're rich. 29 00:01:42,400 --> 00:01:45,240 They're people you read about in paper. And they're no different than we are. 30 00:01:45,760 --> 00:01:48,820 They sure are. They're willing to blow 500 bucks a pop just to hang out at our 31 00:01:48,820 --> 00:01:52,960 place. They're not blowing $500, Mike. They're donating it. 32 00:01:53,160 --> 00:01:56,520 And it's for the free mental health clinic, a very worthy cause. Thank you. 33 00:01:56,890 --> 00:02:00,010 Hey, if they're dropping 500 bucks a head, they should just skip this party 34 00:02:00,010 --> 00:02:01,010 check into the clinic. 35 00:02:02,230 --> 00:02:03,230 I'll get it. 36 00:02:03,810 --> 00:02:06,550 How can we ever start cleaning a day early for a family party? 37 00:02:06,930 --> 00:02:08,270 Well, they don't have to like us. 38 00:02:08,530 --> 00:02:09,630 They're related to us. 39 00:02:11,630 --> 00:02:12,950 Out of my way, it's heavy. 40 00:02:13,890 --> 00:02:14,890 Excuse me? 41 00:02:14,990 --> 00:02:15,989 Who are you? 42 00:02:15,990 --> 00:02:17,650 No time to talk. I'm running late. 43 00:02:17,870 --> 00:02:19,610 Oh, this is our caterer, Norma. 44 00:02:19,870 --> 00:02:22,330 Charmed, I'm sure. Look, where do you want your seafood medley? 45 00:02:23,670 --> 00:02:25,720 Want it on ice? Norma, the party's tomorrow. 46 00:02:26,140 --> 00:02:27,140 No, it's not. 47 00:02:27,740 --> 00:02:28,740 Yes, it is. 48 00:02:30,160 --> 00:02:31,160 It's my party. 49 00:02:31,420 --> 00:02:33,140 My work order says today. 50 00:02:34,540 --> 00:02:37,620 Yeah, well, my wallet don't start talking until tomorrow, Norma. 51 00:02:39,060 --> 00:02:40,060 Fine. 52 00:02:40,260 --> 00:02:42,340 I'll let it rot in my refrigerator. 53 00:02:46,720 --> 00:02:50,000 Maggie, where'd you get this caterer? Well, Jason, they came highly 54 00:02:50,360 --> 00:02:53,320 Yeah, I don't have much confidence in the food if they can't even remember the 55 00:02:53,320 --> 00:02:56,620 date. Well, honey, it was a simple mistake, really. Relax. 56 00:02:57,140 --> 00:03:00,340 Well, anybody who can't work with a calendar shouldn't be working with 57 00:03:00,340 --> 00:03:01,340 toothpicks. 58 00:03:02,380 --> 00:03:05,460 I just talked to Donald Trump. 59 00:03:06,780 --> 00:03:07,780 Who's he? 60 00:03:09,860 --> 00:03:12,100 I hope you get a toll booth next to Ben. 61 00:03:13,340 --> 00:03:16,540 Well, he called from his helicopter. He said he was running a little bit late, 62 00:03:16,580 --> 00:03:18,860 but he'd be here at reception within an hour. 63 00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:20,240 Donald Trump! 64 00:03:20,750 --> 00:03:23,470 Hey, this isn't going to be a free clinic. It's going to be a free medical 65 00:03:23,470 --> 00:03:27,450 center. Oh, now, Mike, aren't you glad we're shampooing the rugs and washing 66 00:03:27,450 --> 00:03:28,590 windows and doing the floors? 67 00:03:29,430 --> 00:03:30,430 I'm tingling. 68 00:03:31,410 --> 00:03:34,330 Oh, well, who the heck is this guy? Oh, come on, Mike. He's one of the richest 69 00:03:34,330 --> 00:03:37,110 men in the world, for crying out loud. He owns everything in Manhattan the 70 00:03:37,110 --> 00:03:38,110 Japanese didn't buy. 71 00:03:38,830 --> 00:03:41,810 And he's going to be at our house in one hour. Whoa! 72 00:03:42,650 --> 00:03:44,430 Oh, the party's tomorrow, Carol. 73 00:03:44,790 --> 00:03:46,570 Wait, but Don said it was today. 74 00:03:46,890 --> 00:03:48,850 Oh, why didn't you just straighten him out? 75 00:03:49,370 --> 00:03:51,120 Well, he sounded so comfortable. Confident? 76 00:03:51,920 --> 00:03:54,360 Jason, are you absolutely sure this party's tomorrow? 77 00:03:54,700 --> 00:03:58,020 I'm thinking you're doubting your husband just because of something some 78 00:03:58,140 --> 00:04:00,460 powerful, multi -trillion billionaire said? 79 00:04:01,320 --> 00:04:02,580 How can I put this? 80 00:04:03,660 --> 00:04:04,660 Yes. 81 00:04:05,600 --> 00:04:06,600 I'm insulted. 82 00:04:07,680 --> 00:04:11,520 You ever screwed up big time, huh, Dad? No, I didn't screw up. Mike, come on. 83 00:04:11,540 --> 00:04:14,140 The party's on the 13th like we've been saying for weeks. 84 00:04:14,500 --> 00:04:16,459 Dad, today's the 13th. 85 00:04:21,360 --> 00:04:24,720 It is, Jason. It is not. No, today's Saturday. Tomorrow's Sunday. 86 00:04:25,040 --> 00:04:27,960 The 13th. It's always been on the 13th. 87 00:04:30,640 --> 00:04:31,640 Hello. 88 00:04:31,960 --> 00:04:33,340 Sunday, the 13th. 89 00:04:35,640 --> 00:04:39,180 Jason, this calendar's from 1985. 90 00:04:42,500 --> 00:04:44,740 Honey, you can't reuse these things. 91 00:04:46,560 --> 00:04:47,800 The party's today. 92 00:04:48,460 --> 00:04:51,710 Maybe this Trump dude will help us buff our floors. Thank you. 93 00:06:14,990 --> 00:06:17,190 23. We've got 22 minutes for a party. 94 00:06:17,570 --> 00:06:20,370 You aren't even going to apologize, are you? For what, Maggie? 95 00:06:20,770 --> 00:06:21,770 You don't know? 96 00:06:22,170 --> 00:06:23,830 You really don't know? 97 00:06:24,390 --> 00:06:27,210 Maggie, we've got 58 people coming here in 21 minutes. 98 00:06:27,450 --> 00:06:30,870 And they'll find a house unprepared for a party, and who are they going to 99 00:06:30,870 --> 00:06:35,170 blame? The respected, responsible husband? Or the long -suffering wife? 100 00:06:35,690 --> 00:06:36,950 What about the idiot daughter? 101 00:06:38,450 --> 00:06:44,070 No. The wife. They always blame the wife. I guess that my humiliation means 102 00:06:44,070 --> 00:06:44,989 nothing to you. 103 00:06:44,990 --> 00:06:47,270 Oh, it'll mean plenty right after the party, Maggie. 104 00:06:47,510 --> 00:06:49,170 Oh, you have no idea. 105 00:06:52,010 --> 00:06:53,890 I'll get it. It might be Donnie again. 106 00:06:54,230 --> 00:06:55,290 Well, tell him to hover. 107 00:06:56,250 --> 00:06:59,830 We've got a lot to do here, a lot that we've got to go. I'll make a list of the 108 00:06:59,830 --> 00:07:02,690 chores. At least you had 20 good years with the man, Mom. 109 00:07:03,810 --> 00:07:07,610 It wasn't Donald Trump. It was only the president of the Chase Manhattan Bank. 110 00:07:09,250 --> 00:07:10,830 Okay, kids, we have to pitch in here. 111 00:07:11,310 --> 00:07:13,710 I'll call the caterers and see if I can get them back. Carol, you take the 112 00:07:13,710 --> 00:07:15,850 kitchen and the bathroom. Clean things or hide things, whatever's quicker. 113 00:07:16,090 --> 00:07:17,090 Hiding's quicker. 114 00:07:17,210 --> 00:07:19,430 Mike, you get the folding chairs out of the garage and get this room back 115 00:07:19,430 --> 00:07:20,650 together. Now let's go. 116 00:07:22,530 --> 00:07:27,250 I made a list of all the chores alphabetically. If we all pull 117 00:07:27,250 --> 00:07:33,610 She left me and took the kids. 118 00:07:36,110 --> 00:07:37,910 So, Mom, you want to see a practice eruption? 119 00:07:38,350 --> 00:07:40,980 No, Ben. I told you to take your mountain out of here. 120 00:07:41,500 --> 00:07:45,000 It's not a mountain. It's Vesuvius, one of the biggest disasters in history. 121 00:07:45,280 --> 00:07:47,320 We'll see about that after this party. 122 00:07:48,420 --> 00:07:50,660 Mom, go sit in that chair. It's got lava all over it. 123 00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:54,980 Ben, we're in a crisis mode here. Do me a favor. For the next 20 minutes, take 124 00:07:54,980 --> 00:07:57,580 your volcano out of the house and keep Chrissy with you. 125 00:07:57,900 --> 00:07:59,920 But she keeps nibbling on my gladiators. 126 00:08:00,240 --> 00:08:01,240 Go! 127 00:08:03,800 --> 00:08:04,800 Come on, Chrissy. 128 00:08:05,280 --> 00:08:06,280 Come on. 129 00:08:06,340 --> 00:08:08,980 Yes, we're the Seavers, and we ordered the appetizers for today, and we sent 130 00:08:08,980 --> 00:08:11,320 Norm away because we told her, I mean, my husband told her that it was the 131 00:08:11,320 --> 00:08:13,400 day, but it was really the right day, and if I don't get those hors d 'oeuvres 132 00:08:13,400 --> 00:08:14,940 back in the next 20 minutes, I'm going to kill him. 133 00:08:16,320 --> 00:08:18,320 Okay, what language do you say, Aubrey? 134 00:08:20,140 --> 00:08:21,260 Carol? Yeah? 135 00:08:21,800 --> 00:08:23,300 How do you say hors d 'oeuvres in Spanish? 136 00:08:23,940 --> 00:08:27,180 Believe it or not, I actually know that. It's funny, because it's rather 137 00:08:27,180 --> 00:08:28,840 obscure. What the hell is it? 138 00:08:30,500 --> 00:08:31,500 Botana. 139 00:08:31,560 --> 00:08:32,559 Botana. 140 00:08:32,700 --> 00:08:34,740 Pronto. Today, not tomorrow. 141 00:08:35,579 --> 00:08:36,919 15 Robin Hood Lane. 142 00:08:37,440 --> 00:08:38,620 Please tell me you understand. 143 00:08:39,880 --> 00:08:40,880 Please. 144 00:08:41,480 --> 00:08:42,480 Hello? 145 00:08:43,140 --> 00:08:44,140 Hello? 146 00:08:49,540 --> 00:08:51,560 Honey, I can't do this all by myself. 147 00:08:54,240 --> 00:08:56,280 I just had a conversation in Spanish. 148 00:08:56,700 --> 00:08:57,780 You don't speak Spanish. 149 00:08:57,980 --> 00:09:01,640 Oh, a little, but not enough to fully convey to the caterer that my husband 150 00:09:01,640 --> 00:09:03,000 a blockhead when he sent the food away. 151 00:09:03,400 --> 00:09:06,860 Oh, honey, I'm sorry about... That whole date thing. Oh, big man. 152 00:09:07,680 --> 00:09:09,140 Come on, we've got plenty of food. 153 00:09:09,340 --> 00:09:12,440 No, we don't. I didn't get a chance to go shopping yet. Hey, how about these 154 00:09:12,440 --> 00:09:16,840 dumb microwavable meatballs, huh? The ones that even Ben won't eat? Come on, 155 00:09:16,840 --> 00:09:18,000 we've got veggies, sweetheart. 156 00:09:18,340 --> 00:09:20,080 You can make one of those stupid dips. 157 00:09:21,800 --> 00:09:23,300 Stupid dips? To taste you. 158 00:09:24,100 --> 00:09:29,220 Jason, we have 60 rich people and Donald Trump on their way to a filthy house, 159 00:09:29,300 --> 00:09:30,500 and now we're going to starve them? 160 00:09:31,020 --> 00:09:33,440 Starve? Honey, with happy, tasty meat treats? 161 00:09:35,760 --> 00:09:36,760 Can't even spoil. 162 00:09:37,880 --> 00:09:39,240 I won't serve them. 163 00:09:41,160 --> 00:09:42,160 Well, I will. 164 00:09:44,980 --> 00:09:48,560 And a semi -eaten breakfast sausage. We'll file it down. Nobody will know the 165 00:09:48,560 --> 00:09:49,560 difference. 166 00:09:51,220 --> 00:09:56,180 Oh, great, Jason. We'll just serve them these and refuse to call the ambulance 167 00:09:56,180 --> 00:09:59,660 until they've written their checks. Honey, we've got 17 minutes. What do you 168 00:09:59,660 --> 00:10:00,459 want to do? 169 00:10:00,460 --> 00:10:01,460 Leave. 170 00:10:03,340 --> 00:10:07,800 Put a little perspective on this. Yes, okay, we've got 16 minutes. And yes, we 171 00:10:07,800 --> 00:10:11,340 have no food. Yes, the house is in a shambles. But honey, we can make this 172 00:10:11,780 --> 00:10:15,280 Yes, come on. I mean, if this happened on Perfect Strangers, would Balky lose 173 00:10:15,280 --> 00:10:16,280 it? 174 00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:18,200 Don't be ridiculous. 175 00:10:18,840 --> 00:10:20,280 I hate that show. 176 00:10:21,100 --> 00:10:24,680 You love Lucy. Lucy. I remember Lucy and Ethel, they were in the candy factory 177 00:10:24,680 --> 00:10:26,940 and they had that little conveyor belt and the thing was going along like this 178 00:10:26,940 --> 00:10:27,940 and they were... All right! 179 00:10:32,490 --> 00:10:33,490 Thank you. 180 00:11:01,480 --> 00:11:02,800 Did your mother pay you to do that? 181 00:11:04,320 --> 00:11:06,240 Well... Think she would? 182 00:11:10,120 --> 00:11:12,640 Ben, you're supposed to be watching Chrissy. 183 00:11:13,320 --> 00:11:15,060 And you're supposed to be feminine. 184 00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:18,000 Carol, that's gross. 185 00:11:18,360 --> 00:11:19,920 I was cleaning your bathroom, Ben. 186 00:11:20,300 --> 00:11:21,300 Oh, okay. 187 00:11:21,440 --> 00:11:25,260 So, Chrissy, you want to see some Romans bite it? 188 00:11:26,340 --> 00:11:29,000 And this is what's going to happen to you if you give me any trouble. 189 00:11:35,440 --> 00:11:37,380 Well, just keep watching and don't try this at home. 190 00:11:41,780 --> 00:11:47,440 Oh, I know what I have to do. I have to hold the button no longer. 191 00:11:49,220 --> 00:11:56,220 I got no 192 00:11:56,220 --> 00:11:57,220 luck at all today. 193 00:11:57,860 --> 00:11:59,840 Ben, what are you doing out here with that mountain? 194 00:12:00,280 --> 00:12:03,100 Well, you told me to bring it out here. Well, you can't be in the driveway with 195 00:12:03,100 --> 00:12:05,750 it when Donald Trump climbs out of his helicopter. or what's he going to think? 196 00:12:06,410 --> 00:12:07,410 Who's Donald Trump? 197 00:12:07,770 --> 00:12:09,690 The man who got the date right for this party. 198 00:12:13,490 --> 00:12:14,950 Mom, what are you doing? 199 00:12:15,850 --> 00:12:17,510 Pilling out the appetizer tray. 200 00:12:18,770 --> 00:12:19,770 Huh? 201 00:12:19,930 --> 00:12:23,090 There's some J .O. bread in here somewhere. I want to make croutons for 202 00:12:23,090 --> 00:12:24,090 stupid dip. 203 00:12:25,970 --> 00:12:29,610 You know, Chrissy, I have a feeling that something's going on around here 204 00:12:29,610 --> 00:12:30,770 besides my volcano. 205 00:12:38,380 --> 00:12:40,400 I'm telling you, you're missing a bit by setting up all these chairs. 206 00:12:40,600 --> 00:12:43,780 If these people are dumb enough to pay $500 just to get in the door, think what 207 00:12:43,780 --> 00:12:44,780 they'd pay to sit down. 208 00:12:45,380 --> 00:12:48,380 Come on. Come on. That's... That's interesting. 209 00:12:50,320 --> 00:12:53,420 Oh, less than 13 minutes. All right, all right. What do we do? What do we do? 210 00:12:53,460 --> 00:12:54,960 Help your mother lay out all the food. 211 00:12:55,280 --> 00:12:57,020 Oh, look at that. 212 00:12:57,440 --> 00:12:59,720 That'd be great. Mike, we're going to pull this thing off. 213 00:13:01,360 --> 00:13:05,220 I have just been rooting through garbage cans for food. 214 00:13:22,990 --> 00:13:25,110 They're spectacular. And we got 12 minutes to spare. 215 00:13:26,230 --> 00:13:29,550 Oh, I haven't even showered. Go, go, go, go, go shower. 216 00:13:30,310 --> 00:13:34,450 Ben, if you don't take that volcano out of here, I am going to erupt. But you 217 00:13:34,450 --> 00:13:35,630 said to... Ben. Dad. 218 00:13:36,190 --> 00:13:37,190 You heard your mother? 219 00:13:37,970 --> 00:13:40,250 Bathrooms are clean. I can see my face in the toilet. 220 00:14:14,580 --> 00:14:16,800 No, I'm sure if I can get it to work once, it'll work. 221 00:14:24,720 --> 00:14:25,860 Nice, Chrissy, real nice. 222 00:14:28,880 --> 00:14:32,140 Your hair, your house, your humiliation. Well, pardon me, Ms. 223 00:14:32,380 --> 00:14:33,380 Puddin' Head. 224 00:14:34,760 --> 00:14:38,620 Stop it! Just stop it! People will be arriving here in nine minutes. You'll be 225 00:14:38,620 --> 00:14:40,340 serving garbage with pudding in your hair. 226 00:14:40,840 --> 00:14:42,920 This isn't a family, it's a freak show. 227 00:14:43,180 --> 00:14:46,300 All right, everybody just calm down and relax and stop the name -calling, 228 00:14:46,400 --> 00:14:47,640 especially you, toilet face. 229 00:14:48,880 --> 00:14:52,120 That's the first constructive suggestion I've heard in the last 15 minutes. 230 00:14:52,340 --> 00:14:56,050 Dad! Oh, stop whining, Carol. Your brother's been right about you for 231 00:14:58,690 --> 00:15:00,090 All right. All right. 232 00:15:00,310 --> 00:15:03,750 All right. I'm going to use my wet -dry vac and I'll have this place clean in a 233 00:15:03,750 --> 00:15:06,010 snap. Where did you get a wet -dry vac? 234 00:15:07,330 --> 00:15:08,570 Let's just say I got one, all right? 235 00:15:10,130 --> 00:15:13,970 Our son is the only person around here in this family who still cares about 236 00:15:13,970 --> 00:15:15,270 making this fundraiser work. 237 00:15:18,070 --> 00:15:19,070 Wait a minute. 238 00:15:19,290 --> 00:15:20,990 I thought Dad's fundraiser was tomorrow. 239 00:15:36,490 --> 00:15:37,730 Uh, your pizza, the one you ordered. 240 00:15:38,610 --> 00:15:40,830 That saves the day. Somebody ordered a pizza. 241 00:15:41,370 --> 00:15:43,070 Yeah, that'll be $9 .85. 242 00:15:43,450 --> 00:15:45,590 Hey, it's all right. There's $10. 243 00:15:45,930 --> 00:15:47,590 I'm in such a good mood, keep the change. 244 00:15:48,710 --> 00:15:50,470 I may weep, Mr. Kuzma. 245 00:15:51,230 --> 00:15:55,430 Kuzma, Kuzma, all you want is... Ah, excuse us, excuse us. Dad, Dad, come on. 246 00:15:55,430 --> 00:15:58,130 have food right here staring us in the face. And with people showing up in 247 00:15:58,130 --> 00:16:00,290 minutes, what are you doing? Mike, I can't lie to the guys. 248 00:16:00,670 --> 00:16:03,190 But, Dad, think of all the people you're going to be helping with your health 249 00:16:03,190 --> 00:16:05,930 clinic. Mike, there's never a time to lie. 250 00:16:07,030 --> 00:16:08,030 Son, 251 00:16:08,950 --> 00:16:10,710 we ordered five pizzas, not one. 252 00:16:11,670 --> 00:16:14,690 And that was 31 minutes ago, so they're free. 253 00:16:15,050 --> 00:16:17,870 Oh, come on. Don't mess with me, kid. I got nothing to lose. 254 00:16:18,310 --> 00:16:22,090 Yes, sir. I thought there was never a time to lie. 255 00:16:49,640 --> 00:16:53,680 Honey, I'm sorry I called you puttin' in. Oh, and I'm sorry I said I wish 256 00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:54,700 got our wedding date wrong. 257 00:16:55,100 --> 00:16:56,100 Why did you say that? 258 00:16:56,320 --> 00:16:57,360 Several times today. 259 00:17:00,060 --> 00:17:01,600 It'd be faster if we showered together. 260 00:17:03,220 --> 00:17:07,319 Oh, great. The sink is clogged. Yeah, that's no problem at all for the owner 261 00:17:07,319 --> 00:17:08,319 a wet and dry vac. 262 00:17:08,480 --> 00:17:14,160 Now step aside, both of you. Allow me. Just put your hose in the right port and 263 00:17:14,160 --> 00:17:15,920 blow your problems away. 264 00:17:44,300 --> 00:17:47,960 Jason, I called the Kuzmans to see if they had any food at all, and they are 265 00:17:47,960 --> 00:17:49,360 expecting a pizza. 266 00:17:50,220 --> 00:17:52,700 And as soon as it gets there, they're going to send it right over. 267 00:17:53,120 --> 00:17:55,160 Yeah, well, the Kuzmans aren't getting the pizza. 268 00:17:55,540 --> 00:17:57,480 What? I already hijacked their pie. 269 00:17:59,460 --> 00:18:01,020 This is truly pathetic. 270 00:18:01,520 --> 00:18:04,880 Let's go. Let's go. Four minutes to shower, honey. Oh, what's the point? 271 00:18:04,880 --> 00:18:07,220 who serve food like this are beyond showers. 272 00:18:07,660 --> 00:18:09,560 I'll tell everybody it was all my fault. 273 00:18:10,100 --> 00:18:13,580 Oh, honey, maybe looking very, very sad will help you raise money. 274 00:18:14,440 --> 00:18:16,240 Well, let's just hope they don't run the pictures. 275 00:18:16,460 --> 00:18:19,940 The what? The pictures, honey. The New York Times. They're coming today. Didn't 276 00:18:19,940 --> 00:18:20,940 I tell you? 277 00:18:58,040 --> 00:19:02,380 I hope it's enough. That's all I had in my room. 278 00:19:02,680 --> 00:19:06,300 Oh, Stingy, you are wonderful. 279 00:19:06,720 --> 00:19:07,880 How'd you know we needed food? 280 00:19:08,200 --> 00:19:09,700 Ben called me. Our Ben. 281 00:19:10,540 --> 00:19:13,240 And I brought my accordion in case you want to get down and get funky. 282 00:19:47,820 --> 00:19:48,820 should get the door. 283 00:19:49,180 --> 00:19:52,340 I'll get it. I can do anything to help. Just ask. 284 00:19:52,600 --> 00:19:53,600 Yeah. 285 00:19:57,120 --> 00:19:59,160 Hello. Come in. Welcome. 286 00:19:59,860 --> 00:20:00,860 I'm rich. 287 00:20:01,260 --> 00:20:03,100 Boy, these people just come right out and say it. 288 00:20:07,680 --> 00:20:11,920 Thank you. Listen, thank you so much for that contribution. 289 00:20:12,320 --> 00:20:13,820 We had a fabulous afternoon. 290 00:20:14,160 --> 00:20:19,210 Your eclectic display of food was an Eloquent statement on the needy causes 291 00:20:19,210 --> 00:20:20,210 today. 292 00:20:21,350 --> 00:20:24,430 Well, we figured, why put on a show? 293 00:20:26,130 --> 00:20:28,990 And listen, your donation was really more than I ever could have hoped for. 294 00:20:29,090 --> 00:20:32,510 Well, I figured the more people we have feeling good about themselves, the fewer 295 00:20:32,510 --> 00:20:34,710 people we have calling me a heartless slumlord. 296 00:20:36,650 --> 00:20:37,650 Words to live by. 297 00:20:38,290 --> 00:20:39,550 Ta -ta. Ta -ta. 298 00:20:40,210 --> 00:20:42,730 Thank you. Goodbye, dear. Goodbye. Nice meeting you. 299 00:20:57,000 --> 00:20:59,660 While you're showering, he had some beef jerky, a little Kool -Aid, and left. 300 00:21:00,260 --> 00:21:02,120 You met Donald Trump? 301 00:21:02,420 --> 00:21:03,420 Yeah. Who is he? 302 00:21:04,700 --> 00:21:06,560 I'm not the only stupid one around here. 303 00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:09,400 He told me to give you this. 304 00:21:11,400 --> 00:21:12,780 $10 ,000! 305 00:21:13,600 --> 00:21:15,640 For some beef jerky and Kool -Aid? 306 00:21:16,320 --> 00:21:17,680 We did all right, guys. 307 00:21:17,960 --> 00:21:18,959 Oh, we did! 308 00:21:18,960 --> 00:21:22,980 Yes! You know, the true test of character is grace under pressure, and I 309 00:21:22,980 --> 00:21:24,760 we all scored pretty darn well today. 310 00:21:25,310 --> 00:21:27,390 Come on, we pulled together as a family, a team. 311 00:21:28,110 --> 00:21:30,650 Nobody got petty, nobody got selfish, nobody got irrational. 312 00:21:30,890 --> 00:21:31,890 Hear, hear. 313 00:21:31,950 --> 00:21:33,770 Let's remember that in the troubled times ahead. 314 00:21:34,650 --> 00:21:38,030 I'm really glad you made that speech, because for a while there, I was 315 00:21:38,030 --> 00:21:40,910 to think there was no point in what we were doing. Ah, you're not alone, Ben. 316 00:21:41,030 --> 00:21:43,390 For a while, I had my doubts about this whole silly episode. 317 00:21:47,410 --> 00:21:48,650 We'll be back in a moment. 318 00:21:52,710 --> 00:21:54,310 I'm going to get my ear pierced, but that's okay. 319 00:21:54,750 --> 00:21:55,750 Fine. 320 00:21:58,290 --> 00:22:00,970 Get your ear pierced. Uh, yeah. 321 00:22:01,330 --> 00:22:02,550 In your dreams. 322 00:22:03,030 --> 00:22:06,530 I'm home now to deal with the kids' everyday problems, and you're out there 323 00:22:06,530 --> 00:22:09,530 working, so let me deal with the kids' everyday problems. Okay. 324 00:22:09,830 --> 00:22:12,790 Okay. Sorry, I didn't know you felt this strongly about it. Well, I do. 325 00:22:13,530 --> 00:22:15,550 Fine. Fine. I'm backing off. Good. 326 00:22:16,590 --> 00:22:18,670 Dad? Mike, I don't know what you're going to say. 327 00:22:18,890 --> 00:22:22,050 Save it. Save it. It's not what it looks like, okay? I'm not whipped.