1
00:00:02,140 --> 00:00:04,580
Jason, isn't it a little early to start
the baking?

2
00:00:04,780 --> 00:00:09,340
Hey, not in this family. The only way I
can get a slice is to cook it early. The

3
00:00:09,340 --> 00:00:11,360
earlier, the better. That's ridiculous.

4
00:00:11,760 --> 00:00:14,140
Not ridiculous, Maggie. That's self
-defense.

5
00:00:18,200 --> 00:00:19,920
Smooth, Maggie. Very smooth.

6
00:00:23,040 --> 00:00:24,740
Hello. Uh -huh.

7
00:00:25,500 --> 00:00:26,500
Who's this?

8
00:00:26,940 --> 00:00:27,940
That's impossible.

9
00:00:28,080 --> 00:00:29,960
I don't have a favorite father -in -law.

10
00:00:31,020 --> 00:00:32,019
It's Daddy?

11
00:00:32,140 --> 00:00:33,440
Ed, how are you?

12
00:00:33,840 --> 00:00:34,840
How close?

13
00:00:35,120 --> 00:00:36,120
They're close?

14
00:00:36,720 --> 00:00:37,720
Stopping by.

15
00:00:37,840 --> 00:00:39,840
When? They're coming here?

16
00:00:40,180 --> 00:00:43,840
Yeah, no, no, that's nice of you to call
first, Ed.

17
00:00:44,740 --> 00:00:45,740
For a change.

18
00:00:46,520 --> 00:00:49,100
When? So, uh, when can we expect you?

19
00:00:54,640 --> 00:00:58,740
lunatics honking his horn here. Jason.
Okay. Here, you talk to your father

20
00:00:58,740 --> 00:01:00,400
I go yell at one of Mike's friends.

21
00:01:00,800 --> 00:01:01,800
Hi, Daddy.

22
00:01:02,760 --> 00:01:03,940
Why are you laughing?

23
00:01:06,380 --> 00:01:08,640
Hey, you people are trying to sleep it.

24
00:01:09,320 --> 00:01:10,940
Aren't car phones wonderful?

25
00:01:12,560 --> 00:01:14,000
Mom, they're here.

26
00:01:15,800 --> 00:01:17,640
Aren't car phones wonderful?

27
00:01:18,600 --> 00:01:21,320
Daddy, Mom, the cross -country trap.

28
00:01:24,680 --> 00:01:27,560
Hey, you still don't have much of a
grip, do you?

29
00:01:28,020 --> 00:01:29,420
Good to see you too, Ed.

30
00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:31,380
What happened to the Winnebago?

31
00:01:31,660 --> 00:01:35,280
Oh, your father swapped it for this with
some pimp in Cincinnati.

32
00:01:37,180 --> 00:01:39,700
Mom, how do you know what a pimp looks
like?

33
00:01:39,900 --> 00:01:43,580
I know every song ever recorded by
Gladys Knight and the pimps.

34
00:01:45,620 --> 00:01:48,880
Now take me to meet my new
granddaughter.

35
00:01:49,340 --> 00:01:52,420
This is some car you got here.

36
00:01:52,810 --> 00:01:56,950
I feel it's good for a fellow's attitude
if you get my drift.

37
00:01:58,110 --> 00:02:00,190
Yeah, well, does that mean your days on
the road are over?

38
00:02:00,590 --> 00:02:03,450
Well, we're going to give retirement
condo living a try.

39
00:02:03,710 --> 00:02:08,030
I want to know what it feels like to sit
around and do nothing all day long.

40
00:02:08,389 --> 00:02:10,030
He sure seems to agree with you.

41
00:02:13,150 --> 00:02:14,910
Is that bacon I'm smelling now?

42
00:02:15,310 --> 00:02:16,930
No. It's got to be.

43
00:02:17,670 --> 00:02:20,230
Wait till I get my tote bag. You know me
and bacon.

44
00:02:20,710 --> 00:02:21,710
Yes, I do.

45
00:02:21,900 --> 00:02:22,900
I'll see you inside.

46
00:02:25,580 --> 00:02:27,360
Hey, Grandpa, aren't you all great?

47
00:02:27,840 --> 00:02:30,120
Hey, how you doing? Sure, I was great.

48
00:02:30,340 --> 00:02:33,320
How do you like my wheels? Oh, well,
this thing is harder than you said.

49
00:02:33,600 --> 00:02:35,300
Well, a hot car for a hot guy.

50
00:02:35,700 --> 00:02:38,680
Listen, my bird, is everything all set
up?

51
00:02:38,900 --> 00:02:41,220
Oh, yeah, I've taken care of the whole
shoot.

52
00:02:41,960 --> 00:02:44,320
Your mother doesn't suspect it? No.

53
00:02:44,540 --> 00:02:45,539
And your dad?

54
00:02:45,540 --> 00:02:46,640
Oh, Dad doesn't have a clue.

55
00:02:47,100 --> 00:02:49,160
Well, I know that, but is he on to the
surprise?

56
00:03:01,419 --> 00:03:04,600
The best is ready to begin.

57
00:04:02,480 --> 00:04:03,480
to be ready right away.

58
00:04:03,740 --> 00:04:07,180
So we were kind of hoping that we could
bunk in here with you until it is, huh?

59
00:04:07,600 --> 00:04:10,860
Oh, Daddy, that would be great, Jason.

60
00:04:11,620 --> 00:04:12,860
Great isn't the word.

61
00:04:14,440 --> 00:04:17,420
And, Carol, you're looking so svelte and
sexy.

62
00:04:17,640 --> 00:04:20,200
What made you decide to lose all that
weight?

63
00:04:20,600 --> 00:04:22,500
Hey, it was either that or we add on to
the house.

64
00:04:25,320 --> 00:04:26,880
High outside, ball four.

65
00:04:28,200 --> 00:04:30,440
Maggie, you were going to add on to the
house?

66
00:04:32,240 --> 00:04:34,820
Could you grab that other pound of bacon
for me, Jason?

67
00:04:35,180 --> 00:04:37,100
That was the other pound of bacon, Ed.

68
00:04:37,500 --> 00:04:39,740
What? You guys have gone through both of
them already?

69
00:04:40,020 --> 00:04:44,040
Well, if you'd call and give me, say, a
day's notice in advance, I would have

70
00:04:44,040 --> 00:04:45,660
had a dead pig waiting for you.

71
00:04:47,560 --> 00:04:51,240
You know, to say thank you in advance
for letting us bunk in here with you,

72
00:04:51,540 --> 00:04:55,740
Katie and I would like to take you and
Jason here out to dinner tonight.

73
00:04:56,040 --> 00:04:59,680
Oh, Daddy, that won't be necessary.
Thank you. The man wants to buy us

74
00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:04,260
I didn't say buy dinner. I said take you
out to dinner.

75
00:05:05,280 --> 00:05:06,280
Come on, Mom.

76
00:05:06,520 --> 00:05:08,260
Let's get Chrissy bathed and dressed.

77
00:05:09,080 --> 00:05:10,720
Ooh, she pooped.

78
00:05:13,540 --> 00:05:16,160
Grandpa, can I wash your new car? Sure
you can, lad.

79
00:05:16,480 --> 00:05:18,640
And you can wash my new car, too, lad.

80
00:05:18,900 --> 00:05:19,900
You're right.

81
00:05:21,940 --> 00:05:26,620
Well, I guess I'd better go down to the
grocery store and stock up if we're

82
00:05:26,620 --> 00:05:27,900
going to have guests for a month.

83
00:05:29,520 --> 00:05:31,980
Would you pick up some of that decaf
coffee for yourself?

84
00:05:33,140 --> 00:05:34,560
You're beginning to look a little tense.

85
00:05:39,740 --> 00:05:43,800
Everybody is going to be so excited when
he finds out. Oh, yeah, we're going to

86
00:05:43,800 --> 00:05:45,660
have a wonderful anniversary party.

87
00:05:45,900 --> 00:05:48,720
Oh, I was talking about him finding out
you're not going to be staying for a

88
00:05:48,720 --> 00:05:49,720
month.

89
00:05:51,820 --> 00:05:53,280
When are they going to leave for dinner?

90
00:05:53,660 --> 00:05:54,980
When are they going to leave for dinner?

91
00:05:55,240 --> 00:05:56,340
Relax, you'll watch yourself.

92
00:05:57,050 --> 00:06:00,370
Okay, now, just to double -check, the
food is on the table. Grandpa, trust me,

93
00:06:00,410 --> 00:06:03,430
there's going to be tons of food, tons
of people. And tons of fun.

94
00:06:03,890 --> 00:06:05,390
Hey, I made a joke.

95
00:06:06,770 --> 00:06:08,310
No, you didn't. Okay,

96
00:06:10,410 --> 00:06:13,630
we're going to keep your folks away
until about 7 .30. Perfect.

97
00:06:13,850 --> 00:06:16,570
Carol, did you invite a boyfriend to
this party?

98
00:06:16,850 --> 00:06:20,990
Well, he's not exactly my boyfriend yet,
but, yeah, Sandy will be here.

99
00:06:21,330 --> 00:06:22,770
My girlfriend's coming, too.

100
00:06:23,450 --> 00:06:26,910
Oh, you got a girlfriend now, do you,
Ben? Yeah, it's pretty serious, too.

101
00:06:26,910 --> 00:06:29,070
the first girl I've ever met that
doesn't make me puke.

102
00:06:30,730 --> 00:06:32,090
Well, that's important.

103
00:06:32,570 --> 00:06:35,290
How about you, Mikey? You got a hot one
on for this evening?

104
00:06:35,570 --> 00:06:36,469
Uh, no.

105
00:06:36,470 --> 00:06:37,990
No, I'm going stag tonight.

106
00:06:38,390 --> 00:06:41,290
Well, you're usually such a ladies' man.

107
00:06:41,610 --> 00:06:46,630
Eddie, don't push him. If he doesn't
like girls, he doesn't like girls.

108
00:06:51,240 --> 00:06:53,700
You, Jason, send my parents to the YMCA.

109
00:06:57,380 --> 00:06:58,380
YMCA.

110
00:06:58,500 --> 00:06:59,940
I love that song.

111
00:07:02,440 --> 00:07:08,560
Did you remember to call Julie about
coming over to take care of Christy?

112
00:07:08,580 --> 00:07:12,400
I called. Julie's all set. Okay. The
caterers get here in an hour. The first

113
00:07:12,400 --> 00:07:15,220
guest's in an hour and a half. This is
going to go like clockwork.

114
00:07:15,960 --> 00:07:17,420
It's probably Julie right now.

115
00:07:20,650 --> 00:07:23,970
Hey, Saks Party Animal Party Rentals,
let's party.

116
00:07:25,390 --> 00:07:26,390
You're early.

117
00:07:26,530 --> 00:07:27,530
I had nowhere to go.

118
00:07:29,490 --> 00:07:30,990
The kitchen's that way.

119
00:07:31,310 --> 00:07:34,330
You didn't park your van in our
driveway, did you? Because it's a

120
00:07:34,330 --> 00:07:36,170
party. They don't give me a van.

121
00:07:41,070 --> 00:07:42,070
Clockwork, huh?

122
00:07:42,150 --> 00:07:43,950
Oh, one mistaken on a bozo?

123
00:07:45,030 --> 00:07:46,210
Your turn, bozo.

124
00:07:58,280 --> 00:08:00,980
Well, your grandmother thought you might
need some help, Carol. Yeah, she does.

125
00:08:01,140 --> 00:08:02,140
Any of you a plastic surgeon?

126
00:08:03,320 --> 00:08:04,320
Honey,

127
00:08:07,180 --> 00:08:08,180
is everything all set?

128
00:08:08,220 --> 00:08:12,200
Grandma, everything's going to go
perfectly. And your mom does not suspect

129
00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:13,420
thing? Nope. Your dad?

130
00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:14,940
Dad doesn't have a clue.

131
00:08:15,460 --> 00:08:17,560
I know, but is he on to the party?

132
00:08:39,820 --> 00:08:44,500
I meant the one and only Sandy, who I
care about deeply.

133
00:08:44,880 --> 00:08:47,020
Well, shouldn't they be here at 7 .45?

134
00:08:47,520 --> 00:08:50,400
Oh, wait, it's really them this time.
Everybody hide. Here we go.

135
00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:54,560
Happy anniversary!

136
00:08:58,280 --> 00:09:00,240
Hey, hey, cheer up.

137
00:09:00,600 --> 00:09:03,760
Lar is here. So let the games begin.

138
00:09:04,860 --> 00:09:08,880
So where's the happy 20th anniversary
couple?

139
00:09:11,370 --> 00:09:12,249
Cousin Larry.

140
00:09:12,250 --> 00:09:14,930
And you have got to be Charlie.

141
00:09:15,370 --> 00:09:16,370
Uh, no, Carol.

142
00:09:16,990 --> 00:09:19,530
Close. I knew it was a bisexual name.

143
00:09:20,410 --> 00:09:22,790
Too bad about you losing the hair,
Jason.

144
00:09:23,430 --> 00:09:25,890
But damn it, you look good.

145
00:09:28,070 --> 00:09:30,890
Well, thanks, Padre. Damn it, I feel
good.

146
00:09:33,890 --> 00:09:36,890
Carol, you're the spitting image of your
mother.

147
00:09:37,310 --> 00:09:38,910
Uh, I'm not Carol.

148
00:09:39,310 --> 00:09:40,310
Oh.

149
00:09:46,240 --> 00:09:48,960
There are going to be, like, no people
our age here whatsoever.

150
00:09:49,980 --> 00:09:52,900
Well, my cousin might be coming. He's
old, but he's very short.

151
00:09:55,420 --> 00:09:58,300
Carol, how come we don't know most of
these people?

152
00:09:58,560 --> 00:10:01,380
Beats me. I use Mom's Christmas card
list for the invitations.

153
00:10:03,380 --> 00:10:06,660
Mike, that Larry creature's been here
less than a minute, and he's already

154
00:10:06,660 --> 00:10:07,660
pinched me twice.

155
00:10:08,100 --> 00:10:09,360
Hey, you can't say I blame him.

156
00:10:09,580 --> 00:10:10,580
Oh, hey, please.

157
00:10:11,020 --> 00:10:12,500
It's not even me. I didn't do it.

158
00:10:13,100 --> 00:10:15,900
What am I talking to you for? You
couldn't even get a date.

159
00:10:20,780 --> 00:10:21,780
Grandpa,

160
00:10:22,820 --> 00:10:24,240
is this moment yet here? Relax.

161
00:10:24,780 --> 00:10:26,000
I beat him by a mile.

162
00:10:26,240 --> 00:10:28,740
He should have a bumper sticker. I break
for everything.

163
00:10:30,300 --> 00:10:31,300
Eddie!

164
00:10:32,440 --> 00:10:33,440
Irma!

165
00:10:34,560 --> 00:10:37,820
How have you been, you old flatfoot?

166
00:10:38,040 --> 00:10:41,490
Great. How have you been, you gorgeous
dame? One.

167
00:10:43,490 --> 00:10:44,490
Kate.

168
00:10:47,150 --> 00:10:51,070
Irma. I want you two to meet my special
fellow.

169
00:10:51,490 --> 00:10:57,170
Ed and Kate, this is Wally Obermeyer, my
fiance. Hello, Ed. You must be that

170
00:10:57,170 --> 00:11:01,350
soldier boy Maggie's telling us about.
Captain, U .S. Army, retired.

171
00:11:01,870 --> 00:11:03,490
Oh, an officer.

172
00:11:04,070 --> 00:11:06,350
I was in the real army myself.

173
00:11:08,620 --> 00:11:11,400
You ever serve any time in Korea? Yes,
I've been there twice.

174
00:11:11,840 --> 00:11:14,520
You? Oh, you bet. Yeah, military police.

175
00:11:14,740 --> 00:11:17,700
Us MPs used to wipe up the bars with you
guys pretty regularly.

176
00:11:18,600 --> 00:11:21,420
I bet I may have even slung you over my
jeep once or twice.

177
00:11:21,760 --> 00:11:23,720
Oh, I don't think so, Ed.

178
00:11:24,140 --> 00:11:28,200
You know, the only MPs I ever met were
loudmouth clowns.

179
00:11:31,140 --> 00:11:32,079
Hey, everybody!

180
00:11:32,080 --> 00:11:33,820
Mom and Dad are coming up the front
porch!

181
00:11:34,800 --> 00:11:36,640
Hey, look, you sure it's them and not
just another guest?

182
00:11:37,320 --> 00:11:40,800
Hey, what kind of rude jerk would show
up late to a surprise party?

183
00:11:43,080 --> 00:11:47,200
Your father should have a bumper sticker
that says, I don't break for anything.

184
00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:52,120
Oh, Jason, at least the meal was nice.
Oh, sure it was. I paid for it.

185
00:11:52,660 --> 00:11:54,820
I thought my dad was going to pick up
the check.

186
00:11:55,100 --> 00:11:55,919
Oh, he did.

187
00:11:55,920 --> 00:11:57,100
Then he handed it to me.

188
00:11:58,660 --> 00:12:00,400
Oh, now, come on, honey. Now, be honest.

189
00:12:00,840 --> 00:12:04,800
Now, how would you feel if suddenly my
side of the family showed up

190
00:12:05,420 --> 00:12:06,740
Uh... Mm -hmm, exactly.

191
00:12:15,980 --> 00:12:19,440
Well... Oh, Mom!

192
00:12:20,060 --> 00:12:21,060
Oh!

193
00:12:21,220 --> 00:12:25,380
Well, this is great, but our anniversary
isn't for two weeks.

194
00:12:25,620 --> 00:12:26,620
Three weeks.

195
00:12:26,980 --> 00:12:31,160
Exactly. You know, that's what was so
clever about my idea for the surprise

196
00:12:31,160 --> 00:12:33,260
party. If I do say so myself.

197
00:12:33,640 --> 00:12:34,820
Your idea.

198
00:12:35,560 --> 00:12:37,060
Hold it. Let's get a picture.

199
00:12:38,020 --> 00:12:43,960
I don't have a camera.

200
00:12:45,060 --> 00:12:47,100
Hey, do I have to do everything?

201
00:12:49,640 --> 00:12:50,640
Jason.

202
00:12:50,780 --> 00:12:54,020
Jason, you should have seen the way your
eyes bugged out when I told you we were

203
00:12:54,020 --> 00:12:55,760
bunking in for a month. You mean you're
not?

204
00:12:56,520 --> 00:13:01,240
Oh, heck no, that was just part of the
surprise scam. Oh, thank you, thank you.

205
00:13:01,300 --> 00:13:03,120
Thank you, thank you, thank you.

206
00:13:04,400 --> 00:13:08,260
Mel, were you kids in on this? I sure
was. I sent the invitation.

207
00:13:08,760 --> 00:13:11,140
Now I know why you only send these
people Christmas cards.

208
00:13:11,940 --> 00:13:12,940
Okay, everybody.

209
00:13:14,180 --> 00:13:18,920
After some more mingling and eating, Mom
and Dad will re -pledge the trough they

210
00:13:18,920 --> 00:13:21,500
pledged almost 20 years ago.

211
00:13:29,200 --> 00:13:32,020
McGregor, the minister who performed the
original ceremony.

212
00:13:36,260 --> 00:13:38,520
Oh, hi.

213
00:13:43,400 --> 00:13:47,020
If you're out of margarita mix, I'll
have a pina colada.

214
00:13:53,420 --> 00:13:55,340
First, my name's not Babe.

215
00:13:55,620 --> 00:13:58,120
Second, I take care of Chrissy. I'm not
the help.

216
00:13:58,410 --> 00:14:02,430
And no, I do not own one of those out
-of -sight French maid outfits.

217
00:14:03,950 --> 00:14:07,290
Hey, I'm just trying to make a little
small talk here, babe.

218
00:14:07,630 --> 00:14:08,630
Chill out.

219
00:14:10,550 --> 00:14:12,410
Uh, is there a problem, Larry?

220
00:14:12,610 --> 00:14:13,950
No, no problem.

221
00:14:14,450 --> 00:14:18,610
Oh, hey, look, Mikey, I couldn't help
noticing that you're a stag at this

222
00:14:20,090 --> 00:14:21,029
Me too.

223
00:14:21,030 --> 00:14:24,970
So I'm warning you right now. I've
already staked my claim on Blondie over

224
00:14:24,970 --> 00:14:28,100
there. Ooh, she's got her eyes on the
prize.

225
00:14:29,940 --> 00:14:31,560
You talking about Julie?

226
00:14:31,960 --> 00:14:33,280
Julie? Hey, thanks.

227
00:14:33,600 --> 00:14:34,720
She wants me.

228
00:14:35,380 --> 00:14:37,120
I think it's my vulnerability.

229
00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:42,580
Yeah, well, listen, Larry, I don't think
Julie would be interested in you.

230
00:14:42,940 --> 00:14:43,940
Yeah, right.

231
00:14:44,600 --> 00:14:48,720
No, no, no, I'm serious. I mean, I don't
know if I should tell you this, but she

232
00:14:48,720 --> 00:14:51,000
used to be a guy.

233
00:14:55,280 --> 00:14:56,159
A guy?

234
00:14:56,160 --> 00:14:58,240
Yeah. Let's get out of town.

235
00:14:58,460 --> 00:14:59,460
No, no, I'm serious.

236
00:15:00,080 --> 00:15:02,660
Before the operation, we used to be
fraternity brothers.

237
00:15:04,300 --> 00:15:07,240
Hey, aren't you glad I told you before
you went and made a fool out of

238
00:15:07,800 --> 00:15:08,800
Not now, kid.

239
00:15:09,760 --> 00:15:10,760
Hey, Julie.

240
00:15:11,220 --> 00:15:12,620
How about them Knicks?

241
00:15:15,020 --> 00:15:17,040
I was just saying that perhaps you were
mistaken.

242
00:15:18,020 --> 00:15:19,160
Mistaken, Irma, dear?

243
00:15:19,380 --> 00:15:22,400
I'm as sure of this as I am of my own
hair color.

244
00:15:22,680 --> 00:15:26,360
Well, Kate, dear, I'm as sure of this as
I am that I am still a size two.

245
00:15:27,320 --> 00:15:28,320
Maggie!

246
00:15:28,460 --> 00:15:29,520
Maggie, come here, dear.

247
00:15:29,920 --> 00:15:35,140
Mom, Irma, what is it? Irma has this
misguided notion that Chrissy looks like

248
00:15:35,140 --> 00:15:40,220
her side of the family. It is not a
misguided notion, Kate. Maggie agreed

249
00:15:40,220 --> 00:15:41,220
me, didn't you, Maggie?

250
00:15:41,260 --> 00:15:43,860
That's not what she told me. Tell her,
dear.

251
00:15:44,120 --> 00:15:45,120
Is it?

252
00:15:45,380 --> 00:15:47,980
Did I mention what a great dress that
is?

253
00:15:48,580 --> 00:15:50,020
Oh, thank you.

254
00:15:55,340 --> 00:15:57,420
So, who are you rooting for, Dad?

255
00:15:57,980 --> 00:15:59,500
Well, let's see now.

256
00:16:00,590 --> 00:16:04,730
is my father -in -law. Wally's gonna be
my stepfather soon, so, um... I think

257
00:16:04,730 --> 00:16:06,090
they're both gonna bust a gut.

258
00:16:06,930 --> 00:16:08,030
I can live with that.

259
00:16:11,130 --> 00:16:12,670
Ha -ha! Gotcha!

260
00:16:13,150 --> 00:16:18,730
Ha -ha -ha -ha! You didn't get me. You
cheated. Your elbow was a foot off the

261
00:16:18,730 --> 00:16:19,730
stinking table.

262
00:16:19,950 --> 00:16:21,770
The Houdini it was.

263
00:16:22,050 --> 00:16:23,050
Pardon me, Jason.

264
00:16:23,160 --> 00:16:26,340
Jake, now you saw this. Tell him. No, I
was talking to the kid. Tell him he's

265
00:16:26,340 --> 00:16:27,340
full of malarkey, Jase.

266
00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:29,000
Nifty party.

267
00:16:30,260 --> 00:16:33,860
Are you just saying that because my
family are lunatics and you're too

268
00:16:33,860 --> 00:16:34,519
be honest?

269
00:16:34,520 --> 00:16:35,259
Yeah. Uh -huh.

270
00:16:35,260 --> 00:16:38,200
No, I do not want to discuss my
operation.

271
00:16:39,060 --> 00:16:40,280
Okay, okay, gee.

272
00:16:40,720 --> 00:16:43,580
It's not like I asked you to show me
your scar or something.

273
00:16:45,140 --> 00:16:46,900
This is Laura. She's my friend.

274
00:16:48,200 --> 00:16:49,200
Date.

275
00:16:49,880 --> 00:16:50,880
Honey?

276
00:16:58,180 --> 00:17:01,240
Anyway. So, kid, couldn't snag a date
for this, huh?

277
00:17:02,060 --> 00:17:03,060
Well, me neither.

278
00:17:03,520 --> 00:17:05,339
No, I could not find a date for this
thing, all right?

279
00:17:05,560 --> 00:17:07,940
What do you want to do, take an ad out
in the New York Times? No, I got to...

280
00:17:07,940 --> 00:17:09,260
Why don't we just hire a skywriter?

281
00:17:09,920 --> 00:17:12,700
I ought to forget about that blonde over
there. She used to be a guy.

282
00:17:16,740 --> 00:17:18,020
You the anniversary couple?

283
00:17:18,599 --> 00:17:19,479
Heard so.

284
00:17:19,480 --> 00:17:20,480
Then I guess you get this.

285
00:17:21,460 --> 00:17:22,460
Major credit card.

286
00:17:23,319 --> 00:17:24,980
No personal checks.

287
00:17:25,720 --> 00:17:27,540
Lime, model top, etc.

288
00:17:31,420 --> 00:17:34,240
I would

289
00:17:34,240 --> 00:17:43,280
like

290
00:17:43,280 --> 00:17:47,400
to remind all you stinking people that
we are family and we love each other.

291
00:17:55,500 --> 00:18:00,420
Eight years ago, my Grandpa Ed toasted
two newlyweds as they began their life

292
00:18:00,420 --> 00:18:04,400
together. So, Grandpa, would you please
lead us in another toast?

293
00:18:05,520 --> 00:18:08,860
Look, look, I'm not very good at this,
but, well, here goes.

294
00:18:09,640 --> 00:18:15,760
Now, I'll be the first to admit that I
didn't think this marriage was going to

295
00:18:15,760 --> 00:18:16,760
work in the first place.

296
00:18:18,360 --> 00:18:22,160
I would have bet a week's pay that
Maggie's marriage to Jason was going to

297
00:18:22,160 --> 00:18:23,160
in disaster.

298
00:18:24,810 --> 00:18:25,810
You weren't kidding.

299
00:18:26,010 --> 00:18:27,490
You're not very good at this.

300
00:18:28,270 --> 00:18:32,870
What I'm saying is that while we're
mainly here with a lot of obnoxious

301
00:18:32,870 --> 00:18:37,830
eating bad food and drinking cheap
booze, couldn't we at least pretend that

302
00:18:37,830 --> 00:18:38,910
were having a good time?

303
00:18:40,430 --> 00:18:41,430
Here's the toast.

304
00:18:41,830 --> 00:18:43,990
To Maggie and Jason. Who knew?

305
00:18:50,800 --> 00:18:54,100
Oh, Jason, you know what all that
fighting in there reminds me of? Our

306
00:18:54,100 --> 00:18:55,100
reception.

307
00:18:56,920 --> 00:19:00,020
Still, it was real nice of the kids and
our folks to surprise us with this

308
00:19:00,020 --> 00:19:01,080
party. Oh, it sure was.

309
00:19:02,340 --> 00:19:03,360
Twenty years.

310
00:19:03,620 --> 00:19:04,620
Yeah.

311
00:19:04,740 --> 00:19:05,940
So much has changed.

312
00:19:06,220 --> 00:19:07,220
Oh, yeah.

313
00:19:07,300 --> 00:19:10,500
Yeah, we used to have to sneak up behind
their garage to make out.

314
00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:13,760
Now we have to sneak up behind our own
garage.

315
00:19:15,640 --> 00:19:19,040
Oh, Jason, I think that's the most
romantic thing you've ever said to me.

316
00:19:19,500 --> 00:19:20,500
I know.

317
00:19:22,620 --> 00:19:27,040
Can I tell you something that I've
wanted to tell you all these years?

318
00:19:27,420 --> 00:19:28,420
Yeah?

319
00:19:28,640 --> 00:19:31,180
Your cousin Larry is a rude jerk.

320
00:19:32,260 --> 00:19:33,780
There, I feel better.

321
00:19:34,600 --> 00:19:37,840
My cousin Larry? I always thought he was
your cousin Larry.

322
00:19:40,960 --> 00:19:42,220
Dessert is served.

323
00:19:50,460 --> 00:19:51,700
Can I get you a slice?

324
00:19:52,280 --> 00:19:53,700
Sure, thanks, Benjamin.

325
00:19:54,040 --> 00:19:55,700
Maybe just a small one.

326
00:19:55,920 --> 00:19:56,920
Yes, sir.

327
00:19:59,040 --> 00:20:03,900
Let me help you get that, Irma. Here,
I'll handle that, Ed. Eddie, Wally can

328
00:20:03,900 --> 00:20:04,739
handle it.

329
00:20:04,740 --> 00:20:07,840
Wally, I said I would get it. Ed, I said
I'll handle it.

330
00:20:37,230 --> 00:20:38,230
Sorry.

331
00:21:19,150 --> 00:21:22,230
Honey, it's a room full of our
relatives. What could be going on?

332
00:21:22,650 --> 00:21:24,310
I don't want to know.

333
00:21:27,270 --> 00:21:28,270
What are those?

334
00:21:29,050 --> 00:21:30,050
Daddy's keys.

335
00:21:31,610 --> 00:21:36,530
What do you say we elope? As long as I
can drive, I hear these cars do great

336
00:21:36,530 --> 00:21:38,330
things for a guy's attitude.

337
00:22:03,699 --> 00:22:05,540
Boy, have you got the wrong apartment.

338
00:22:05,780 --> 00:22:08,180
If it's you, Mike, I ran out to get a
pizza.

339
00:22:08,820 --> 00:22:09,960
Well, at least we won't starve.

340
00:22:11,380 --> 00:22:14,440
So come on in and make yourself at home.
The key is inside Mr.

341
00:22:14,780 --> 00:22:15,780
Edison's invention.

342
00:22:16,860 --> 00:22:17,860
Edison?

343
00:22:19,120 --> 00:22:20,660
Hey, there's no phone around here.

344
00:22:23,120 --> 00:22:25,260
Oh, that Edison.

345
00:22:46,780 --> 00:22:50,620
Listen, now, before you even say a word,
I just want to say, I really could have

346
00:22:50,620 --> 00:22:51,620
used a date tonight.

347
00:22:52,080 --> 00:22:52,899
Of course.

348
00:22:52,900 --> 00:22:55,200
But I know you're right. We have to keep
our relationship a secret.

349
00:22:55,620 --> 00:22:56,299
Let's face it.

350
00:22:56,300 --> 00:22:57,540
You could have used a date, too.

351
00:23:01,380 --> 00:23:03,240
Hey, I think that's pretty good for a
guy.

352
00:23:04,360 --> 00:23:05,360
Shut up, Mike.