1
00:00:01,740 --> 00:00:05,960
And in the lighter side of the news,
Teen Scene Magazine today released the

2
00:00:05,960 --> 00:00:08,520
results of its annual teen heartthrob
poll.

3
00:00:08,720 --> 00:00:13,340
They have declared that the dreamiest
guy alive is Kirk. Who cares?

4
00:00:17,420 --> 00:00:18,420
How many watching?

5
00:00:18,720 --> 00:00:19,679
Nothing's on.

6
00:00:19,680 --> 00:00:20,680
Yeah, there's gotta be.

7
00:00:21,380 --> 00:00:24,980
Anyway, you're not supposed to watch TV.
You promised Mom and Dad you'd actually

8
00:00:24,980 --> 00:00:26,380
do your homework for a teen.

9
00:00:26,680 --> 00:00:28,040
You don't sweat it, I will.

10
00:00:29,420 --> 00:00:30,420
Well, me, love.

11
00:00:30,960 --> 00:00:35,440
more properly known as the Castor. It is
one of nature's most ambitious

12
00:00:35,440 --> 00:00:36,440
engineers.

13
00:00:36,860 --> 00:00:38,720
And you said nothing was on.

14
00:00:41,220 --> 00:00:45,560
What, Mike? What in the world are you
doing in here when you have that darn

15
00:00:45,560 --> 00:00:46,860
English report due?

16
00:00:47,340 --> 00:00:49,700
What? I'm gonna get you for this, Carol.

17
00:00:50,260 --> 00:00:54,080
Like, didn't you put your hand on your
heart and promise to do your homework?

18
00:00:54,380 --> 00:00:55,380
Dad, I will.

19
00:00:55,540 --> 00:00:57,360
Well, what do we have to do? Pay you to
do it?

20
00:00:58,000 --> 00:00:59,620
You know, I think you're onto something
here, Dad.

21
00:01:00,760 --> 00:01:03,120
Is that PBS Beaver special on yet?

22
00:01:05,239 --> 00:01:07,840
Mike, you are supposed to be doing your
English homework.

23
00:01:08,200 --> 00:01:10,720
I know. What is it with you people? You
act like I never do my homework or

24
00:01:10,720 --> 00:01:11,679
something.

25
00:01:11,680 --> 00:01:15,600
Come on, look. It's a crummy little four
-page English report on Raymond

26
00:01:15,600 --> 00:01:17,540
Chandler. Four pages that are typed.

27
00:01:18,020 --> 00:01:21,000
Researched. Footnoted. With
bibliography. That you should have been

28
00:01:21,000 --> 00:01:22,940
for four weeks. And that is due
tomorrow.

29
00:01:23,160 --> 00:01:26,400
And... According to your teacher... If
you don't get at least a B on this...

30
00:01:26,400 --> 00:01:29,160
won't pass the course and that means
that you... Won't graduate. Yeah!

31
00:01:30,340 --> 00:01:32,860
What are you going to do? Get together
and rehearse this or something?

32
00:01:33,980 --> 00:01:37,730
Mike. Mom, Dad, look, you don't have to
get so excited.

33
00:01:37,990 --> 00:01:41,730
Oh, we don't? Look, I know that over the
years, my school record hasn't exactly

34
00:01:41,730 --> 00:01:42,730
been terrific.

35
00:01:42,770 --> 00:01:43,770
What? Whoa.

36
00:01:46,920 --> 00:01:50,080
I know how important this report is, and
I know that I kid around a lot, but

37
00:01:50,080 --> 00:01:53,580
there is no way that I'm going to let
myself fail this course. I mean, Dad,

38
00:01:53,580 --> 00:01:57,560
even read the book, and that's why I
have set everything aside this evening

39
00:01:57,560 --> 00:02:01,680
can spend the entire night in my room at
my desk finishing that report no matter

40
00:02:01,680 --> 00:02:02,680
how long it takes.

41
00:02:02,980 --> 00:02:05,200
Hello? Mikey, sorry I'm late. Ready to
split?

42
00:02:07,980 --> 00:02:11,520
Show me that smile again. Ooh, show me
that smile.

43
00:02:12,180 --> 00:02:15,680
Don't waste another minute on your
crying.

44
00:02:16,240 --> 00:02:18,160
We're nowhere near the end.

45
00:02:18,960 --> 00:02:21,960
The best is ready to begin.

46
00:02:56,940 --> 00:02:58,000
After love.

47
00:03:01,600 --> 00:03:03,000
After

48
00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:26,900
love.

49
00:03:26,670 --> 00:03:27,670
Watch him dance.

50
00:03:28,470 --> 00:03:29,770
Well, okay, all right.

51
00:03:30,230 --> 00:03:33,610
Boner and I, we're merely going to take
a couple of minutes to drop in on a very

52
00:03:33,610 --> 00:03:37,770
dear, very close friend of ours who's
very nervous about this new job and who

53
00:03:37,770 --> 00:03:38,770
needs some support.

54
00:03:38,990 --> 00:03:40,270
The man is good.

55
00:03:40,790 --> 00:03:43,850
So who exactly is this very dear, very
close friend?

56
00:03:44,470 --> 00:03:45,470
Who? Yeah.

57
00:03:45,890 --> 00:03:49,610
Well, you know the name is kind of
slipping out of my mind. Sheena Woo Woo

58
00:03:49,610 --> 00:03:50,610
Buckowitz.

59
00:03:53,550 --> 00:03:56,830
Okay, all right. Now, before you jump to
the wrong conclusion here, you should

60
00:03:56,830 --> 00:04:00,950
know that Sheena just got a very
challenging job at Almondanza Pizza,

61
00:04:00,950 --> 00:04:01,888
dough in the air.

62
00:04:01,890 --> 00:04:02,890
Oh, yeah.

63
00:04:04,370 --> 00:04:08,250
And, Mom, Sheena's famous for needing
all kinds of support.

64
00:04:09,370 --> 00:04:10,370
Oh, yeah.

65
00:04:11,970 --> 00:04:12,970
Boner, get out.

66
00:04:13,510 --> 00:04:14,570
Jason, that's rude.

67
00:04:15,350 --> 00:04:16,350
Sorry.

68
00:04:16,570 --> 00:04:19,589
Mike, go to your room. Go straight to
your room and get started on your paper.

69
00:04:20,060 --> 00:04:23,280
And don't come out of your room until
you either finish that homework or you

70
00:04:23,280 --> 00:04:25,120
turn 21, whichever comes first.

71
00:04:26,860 --> 00:04:28,280
You tired up all night, Mikey?

72
00:04:28,960 --> 00:04:29,960
Bonner, get out!

73
00:04:32,360 --> 00:04:36,860
The crowd is stunned, ladies and
gentlemen. Mike Seaver is actually going

74
00:04:36,860 --> 00:04:37,860
the book.

75
00:04:39,180 --> 00:04:41,760
And what are you kids sitting around
for? Don't you have some chores to do?

76
00:04:41,940 --> 00:04:43,260
Whose night is it to take out the trash?

77
00:04:43,780 --> 00:04:45,740
Mike! Mike, take out the trash.

78
00:04:46,180 --> 00:04:49,360
What? Mike, it's your night to take out
the garbage. But I have to work on my

79
00:04:49,360 --> 00:04:51,120
report. Well, you do that after the
trash.

80
00:04:51,480 --> 00:04:52,480
Oh, okay.

81
00:04:52,580 --> 00:04:55,420
Fine, fine, fine, fine. But if I ever at
least get a beer in the street park,

82
00:04:55,480 --> 00:04:56,480
it's on your heads.

83
00:05:04,960 --> 00:05:06,400
32 seconds, not bad.

84
00:05:06,880 --> 00:05:10,720
No, I didn't get out of it, Bones. Yeah,
right, sure. Listen, woo -woo, shift

85
00:05:10,720 --> 00:05:11,720
ends at 8 o 'clock.

86
00:05:11,740 --> 00:05:14,220
I want to beat the crowd and get a spot
right in front of the window.

87
00:05:14,920 --> 00:05:17,160
No, I'm serious, man. I've got to finish
my stupid English report.

88
00:05:17,820 --> 00:05:19,560
Mikey, Mikey, think about what counts
here.

89
00:05:19,780 --> 00:05:21,120
We don't got no need for English.

90
00:05:22,540 --> 00:05:26,120
I can't believe it. I mean, all of my
life, I've been walking past the windows

91
00:05:26,120 --> 00:05:28,120
of pizza parlors, and who's always in
there?

92
00:05:28,380 --> 00:05:31,320
Yeah, some porked -out old guy named
Guido.

93
00:05:32,060 --> 00:05:34,220
But now, it's woo -woo Berkowitz.

94
00:05:36,400 --> 00:05:40,760
Throwing gobs of dough high into the
air, reaching up to catch him, arching

95
00:05:40,760 --> 00:05:41,760
back and stretching.

96
00:05:43,020 --> 00:05:45,660
The perfect blend of form and function.

97
00:05:45,940 --> 00:05:46,940
The faith.

98
00:05:47,100 --> 00:05:48,100
The hair.

99
00:05:48,200 --> 00:05:49,320
The anchovies.

100
00:05:50,820 --> 00:05:53,780
You know, I would pay money to see her
toss anything in the air.

101
00:05:54,900 --> 00:05:57,760
Look, man, there's always tomorrow
night, right? No, no, no, not for me.

102
00:05:57,760 --> 00:05:59,000
see, I'm going tonight because...

103
00:05:59,310 --> 00:06:01,870
There could be a nuclear war tomorrow,
and I would never forgive myself.

104
00:06:02,910 --> 00:06:04,190
Oh, great. That's great, though.

105
00:06:05,270 --> 00:06:06,270
Oh, Mike.

106
00:06:06,870 --> 00:06:07,870
Oh, Dad.

107
00:06:08,230 --> 00:06:10,930
Yeah, Mike, you know, when I saw you out
here playing with a basketball, just

108
00:06:10,930 --> 00:06:14,390
wasting time, I thought to myself, well,
I gotta tell you, I gotta be honest

109
00:06:14,390 --> 00:06:16,010
here, I gotta tell you right now, I got
angry.

110
00:06:16,790 --> 00:06:19,850
And then I thought, no, no, no, no,
maybe my kid's really got a future in

111
00:06:19,850 --> 00:06:20,850
professional basketball.

112
00:06:21,270 --> 00:06:24,090
So why not just forget about that
English report? Forget about school.

113
00:06:24,450 --> 00:06:26,390
Forget about the fact you're 5 '7 and
white.

114
00:06:27,630 --> 00:06:31,970
Now, I promise myself, Mike, if you made
that last shot, boy, I'd just let you

115
00:06:31,970 --> 00:06:35,050
party. Just sail right on into that NBA
draft.

116
00:06:36,650 --> 00:06:39,630
I guess we both know what that last
airball cost you.

117
00:06:44,010 --> 00:06:45,010
Later, bone.

118
00:06:45,330 --> 00:06:47,610
Boy, one airball and your whole life is
down the chute.

119
00:06:47,970 --> 00:06:49,190
No doubt it's really strict.

120
00:06:50,850 --> 00:06:54,070
Look, if you guys don't have any faith
in me, don't beat around the bush. Just

121
00:06:54,070 --> 00:06:55,070
say it.

122
00:06:55,090 --> 00:06:56,450
We have no faith.

123
00:07:00,320 --> 00:07:01,900
Whoa, what is that?

124
00:07:02,880 --> 00:07:05,120
It's a woman in a bikini bending over.

125
00:07:08,080 --> 00:07:11,780
Ben, does Mom and Dad know that you're
watching that cable channel?

126
00:07:12,280 --> 00:07:16,020
This isn't cable. This is the local
news. This week they're examining the

127
00:07:16,020 --> 00:07:17,020
question.

128
00:07:17,200 --> 00:07:19,740
The only question I got is, what's her
phone number?

129
00:07:21,360 --> 00:07:24,740
Oh, watch out for those nasty waves.

130
00:07:26,960 --> 00:07:30,080
I knew with 36 pounds there had to be
something good on it. Oh, look at that.

131
00:07:30,100 --> 00:07:32,120
She's getting all soaking wet. Poor
baby.

132
00:07:33,200 --> 00:07:35,740
Look at that. Oh, look at that.

133
00:07:38,240 --> 00:07:42,880
Why don't you videotape it? Good idea.

134
00:07:43,160 --> 00:07:44,160
Mom,

135
00:07:47,860 --> 00:07:48,980
this isn't disgusting.

136
00:07:49,220 --> 00:07:50,240
This is the local news.

137
00:07:50,520 --> 00:07:53,200
The TV stays off for the rest of the
night. What?

138
00:07:53,480 --> 00:07:55,440
Sorry, Ben. Your brother can't handle
the distractions.

139
00:08:00,520 --> 00:08:01,520
Mike, upstairs.

140
00:08:01,760 --> 00:08:03,060
And I mean now.

141
00:08:03,840 --> 00:08:04,960
March. March?

142
00:08:05,220 --> 00:08:08,900
Mom, come on. Look, we're both adults
here, and you don't need to treat me

143
00:08:08,900 --> 00:08:10,080
I'm some silly little child.

144
00:08:10,360 --> 00:08:11,500
Go! Now!

145
00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:13,200
Oh, no.

146
00:08:19,260 --> 00:08:23,360
Treat me like a little kid, huh?

147
00:08:24,040 --> 00:08:25,520
All right. To work.

148
00:08:29,040 --> 00:08:30,040
Where's my desk?

149
00:08:32,820 --> 00:08:35,419
All right, who swipes my desk?

150
00:08:35,780 --> 00:08:37,539
Get to work, now.

151
00:08:37,980 --> 00:08:40,919
Fine, how's a guy supposed to work
without a stupid desk?

152
00:08:42,679 --> 00:08:43,880
Oh, wait a minute.

153
00:08:46,060 --> 00:08:47,920
Oh, here it is.

154
00:08:49,060 --> 00:08:52,360
All right, a desk.

155
00:08:52,780 --> 00:08:53,780
Now what else?

156
00:08:54,460 --> 00:08:55,460
Typewriter.

157
00:09:08,120 --> 00:09:11,880
How was the guy supposed to type a
stupid report when he... Ow.

158
00:09:17,720 --> 00:09:18,720
Okay.

159
00:09:22,060 --> 00:09:24,820
Now, where's that Raymond Chandler book?

160
00:09:26,300 --> 00:09:27,300
Oh, great.

161
00:09:41,070 --> 00:09:43,090
It's a lot of paper. I only need four
pieces.

162
00:09:45,290 --> 00:09:49,730
Okay. First, I'll start with putting the
paper in.

163
00:09:52,210 --> 00:09:53,750
All right. Not bad.

164
00:09:54,290 --> 00:09:56,810
All right. Now, my name.

165
00:09:58,910 --> 00:09:59,350
All

166
00:09:59,350 --> 00:10:07,090
right.

167
00:10:07,150 --> 00:10:07,909
Where was I?

168
00:10:07,910 --> 00:10:08,910
Oh, yeah.

169
00:10:09,110 --> 00:10:10,110
My name.

170
00:10:16,840 --> 00:10:18,020
Ah, this is easy.

171
00:10:19,340 --> 00:10:22,860
No? No, no, wait a minute. I should
write this out before I type it. Yeah.

172
00:10:23,620 --> 00:10:24,620
Okay.

173
00:10:25,960 --> 00:10:26,960
All right.

174
00:10:29,460 --> 00:10:30,460
Hmm.

175
00:10:32,220 --> 00:10:33,280
Ticonderoga number two.

176
00:10:47,370 --> 00:10:48,370
with your paper.

177
00:10:50,170 --> 00:10:51,170
How'd you know it was me?

178
00:10:51,610 --> 00:10:53,810
Because it was a dumb -sounding knock.
Get out.

179
00:10:55,230 --> 00:10:59,610
Well, for your information, I did not
come in here for your pathetic help. I'm

180
00:10:59,610 --> 00:11:00,770
merely here to sharpen a pencil.

181
00:11:01,310 --> 00:11:04,450
All right, over there. The pencil
sharpener is a little tricky. Maybe for

182
00:11:04,490 --> 00:11:06,490
but men are much better at handling
power tools.

183
00:11:12,410 --> 00:11:14,150
Oh, thanks a lot, Carol.

184
00:11:14,730 --> 00:11:15,950
Now, what am I supposed to do?

185
00:11:17,680 --> 00:11:18,680
how to be typed anyway.

186
00:11:18,880 --> 00:11:21,440
Yeah, but you gotta have a first draft
first. Don't you know anything?

187
00:11:21,940 --> 00:11:23,740
You mean you haven't even started yet?

188
00:11:24,040 --> 00:11:25,340
Look, what's your point?

189
00:11:26,040 --> 00:11:27,420
4 .0, what's yours?

190
00:11:29,400 --> 00:11:32,280
Look, Carol, I have got the whole report
right up here.

191
00:11:32,720 --> 00:11:33,740
Where it's safe.

192
00:11:34,720 --> 00:11:36,320
Look, what do you know anyway?

193
00:11:36,700 --> 00:11:41,700
I know that a cursory examination of
Raymond Chandler's work won't reveal the

194
00:11:41,700 --> 00:11:46,980
full extent of the depth, symbolism, and
import that he weaves into his story.

195
00:11:47,530 --> 00:11:50,650
I mean, take the long goodbye, for
example. I mean, here, Chandler.

196
00:11:52,850 --> 00:11:53,850
No, no,

197
00:11:55,890 --> 00:11:56,890
no,

198
00:11:57,850 --> 00:11:58,850
please.

199
00:12:03,450 --> 00:12:04,450
Testing,

200
00:12:05,970 --> 00:12:07,510
one, two, three, please work, please
work, please work.

201
00:12:08,270 --> 00:12:10,210
Testing, one, two, three, please work,
please work, please work.

202
00:12:19,660 --> 00:12:20,660
Oh, yeah?

203
00:12:21,580 --> 00:12:22,580
Oh, yeah, what?

204
00:12:22,920 --> 00:12:26,240
Well, I was saying that you were totally
wrong about what you were saying

205
00:12:26,240 --> 00:12:28,340
before. What was I saying?

206
00:12:28,780 --> 00:12:32,920
Oh, well, you know, about Raymond
Chandler playing the cymbals.

207
00:12:33,980 --> 00:12:37,800
No, Mike, I said his work was fraught
with symbolism and import.

208
00:12:38,180 --> 00:12:40,080
Oh, right, right. Well, prove it.

209
00:12:41,020 --> 00:12:41,739
Prove it?

210
00:12:41,740 --> 00:12:43,560
Yeah. Well, Mike, you need only...

211
00:12:43,850 --> 00:12:47,410
Read the long goodbye to see how
Chandler used the metaphor of the 40s

212
00:12:47,410 --> 00:12:51,870
to illustrate the plight of the modern
man in the 20th century, alone fighting

213
00:12:51,870 --> 00:12:52,870
incredible odds.

214
00:12:53,190 --> 00:12:57,270
I mean, essentially, Chandler's message
was that modern man hadn't traveled that

215
00:12:57,270 --> 00:12:59,090
far since Charles Syrian days.

216
00:12:59,570 --> 00:13:01,010
That's enough, Carol.

217
00:13:01,890 --> 00:13:02,890
What'd I do?

218
00:13:03,090 --> 00:13:05,410
Well, I'd guess about most of your
brother's paper.

219
00:13:06,230 --> 00:13:10,290
Oh, Mom, that is such an insult. I mean,
you actually think that I would have my

220
00:13:10,290 --> 00:13:11,910
little sister do my work for me?

221
00:13:12,609 --> 00:13:16,090
You were saying... Hey!

222
00:13:16,530 --> 00:13:18,570
All right, who put that in my pocket?

223
00:13:20,990 --> 00:13:23,070
I expected better of you, Dad.

224
00:13:28,110 --> 00:13:32,170
Not one more lame excuse. But, Mom, I...
Not one more word. Just not one

225
00:13:32,170 --> 00:13:33,830
syllable. Not one letter.

226
00:13:36,200 --> 00:13:39,980
You are not to set foot outside this
room until you have typed one entire

227
00:13:40,160 --> 00:13:42,420
If you understand me, bink your eyes.

228
00:13:44,060 --> 00:13:45,060
Bink?

229
00:13:46,100 --> 00:13:49,200
Okay, okay, Mike, you leave me no choice
except to take drastic action.

230
00:13:49,580 --> 00:13:51,240
Van! What are you going to do?

231
00:13:52,240 --> 00:13:54,160
I wasn't watching the news, I swear!

232
00:13:55,560 --> 00:13:57,200
Van, how would you like to make ten
dollars?

233
00:13:57,860 --> 00:13:59,020
I'd rather make a hundred.

234
00:13:59,220 --> 00:14:00,220
Ten zero.

235
00:14:00,680 --> 00:14:03,420
What's the job? I want you to stand
guard outside this room.

236
00:14:03,820 --> 00:14:08,960
What? If Mike comes out for any reason,
you let me know. Mom, Mom, look, if you

237
00:14:08,960 --> 00:14:14,580
think that Benny here, my pal, my bro,
my blood, would sue me out for $10, you

238
00:14:14,580 --> 00:14:16,940
are so wrong. I mean, Benny couldn't
live with himself, right?

239
00:14:17,480 --> 00:14:19,260
No, Mom, I couldn't. See?

240
00:14:19,840 --> 00:14:21,020
For $20, I could.

241
00:14:21,260 --> 00:14:22,800
$10. I can live with that.

242
00:14:28,520 --> 00:14:31,460
Well, I think we've finally done it. I
had to get tough.

243
00:14:31,950 --> 00:14:35,470
But Mike's in his room, Ben's standing
guard. It's only 8 o 'clock, and with

244
00:14:35,470 --> 00:14:37,330
luck, an English report will soon be
born.

245
00:14:37,590 --> 00:14:38,569
Great, great.

246
00:14:38,570 --> 00:14:39,409
What are you doing?

247
00:14:39,410 --> 00:14:40,990
I'm watching TV.

248
00:14:43,570 --> 00:14:44,930
Why can't I hear anything?

249
00:14:45,630 --> 00:14:48,470
Oh, I left the sound off so I wouldn't
disturb Mike.

250
00:14:48,730 --> 00:14:52,310
Well, that's very sweet, honey, but what
can you watch without sound?

251
00:14:52,790 --> 00:14:54,150
This is a new special.

252
00:14:56,060 --> 00:15:00,300
An in -depth examination of the bikini
question.

253
00:15:01,820 --> 00:15:03,620
I didn't know there was a question.

254
00:15:03,860 --> 00:15:04,860
Oh, yeah.

255
00:15:10,600 --> 00:15:11,600
Your turn.

256
00:15:12,200 --> 00:15:13,200
Out of the way, Ben.

257
00:15:14,020 --> 00:15:15,840
Has this visit been cleared by Mom?

258
00:15:16,340 --> 00:15:17,340
It has, yes.

259
00:15:17,480 --> 00:15:18,880
You got something on paper?

260
00:15:19,100 --> 00:15:20,100
Out of the way.

261
00:15:38,830 --> 00:15:39,830
Nice hat.

262
00:15:39,930 --> 00:15:41,570
Oh, thanks.

263
00:15:42,410 --> 00:15:46,050
Yeah, I was just gearing up a little
mood music, Dad. In the mood now?

264
00:15:46,250 --> 00:15:49,250
Yeah. Because this is a hostage, Mike.

265
00:15:49,530 --> 00:15:53,630
And this is a non -negotiable demand.

266
00:15:55,430 --> 00:15:56,850
I want the English report.

267
00:16:00,390 --> 00:16:04,350
Or you will never see your stereo alive
again.

268
00:16:08,430 --> 00:16:10,450
Dad, watch out for the... What

269
00:16:10,450 --> 00:16:16,770
the heck happened?

270
00:16:17,170 --> 00:16:18,170
No music.

271
00:16:18,230 --> 00:16:19,230
No friend.

272
00:16:19,490 --> 00:16:22,670
No food, except for whatever might be
growing under his bed.

273
00:16:23,290 --> 00:16:25,250
No more distractions. Nothing.

274
00:16:25,570 --> 00:16:27,510
Nothing to do except finish his paper.

275
00:16:29,130 --> 00:16:32,030
Oh, whatever happened to the bikini
question?

276
00:16:32,970 --> 00:16:34,210
They answered it.

277
00:16:35,530 --> 00:16:36,530
It was no.

278
00:16:39,180 --> 00:16:40,900
Are you sure there's nothing else up
there for him to do?

279
00:16:41,360 --> 00:16:45,580
Nothing. Unless he decides to clean up
his room.

280
00:16:47,500 --> 00:16:48,780
Nah. All

281
00:16:48,780 --> 00:16:56,100
right.

282
00:16:56,240 --> 00:16:57,240
Now I can...

283
00:17:22,160 --> 00:17:23,800
record for a nose balancing a pencil.

284
00:17:24,020 --> 00:17:26,079
And now, ladies and gentlemen, the
impossible.

285
00:17:26,380 --> 00:17:29,320
Steve is going to try with not only one,
but two pencils.

286
00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:39,540
Oh, please let there be batteries in it.
Please let there be batteries. I'll

287
00:17:39,540 --> 00:17:40,640
never drive over 35 again.

288
00:17:45,820 --> 00:17:47,580
Yes, all right.

289
00:17:48,020 --> 00:17:50,800
Steve is ready to work. I'm talking
ready. I'm ready.

290
00:19:46,890 --> 00:19:49,730
Well, either he's working... Or he
escaped out the window.

291
00:19:54,650 --> 00:19:56,610
Oh, he fell asleep working.

292
00:19:56,930 --> 00:19:57,930
Let's see how he did.

293
00:19:59,950 --> 00:20:00,950
The.

294
00:20:02,190 --> 00:20:03,190
Go on.

295
00:20:03,550 --> 00:20:04,550
There is no on.

296
00:20:06,350 --> 00:20:07,350
Mike.

297
00:20:07,950 --> 00:20:09,050
Oh, uh, Mom.

298
00:20:09,610 --> 00:20:11,830
Mom, I'm doing great here. I'm on a
roll.

299
00:20:12,090 --> 00:20:13,270
Oh, Dad, you're here, too.

300
00:20:13,930 --> 00:20:14,930
Oh, you're on a roll?

301
00:20:15,530 --> 00:20:18,490
One word, one lousy syllable in an hour
and a half?

302
00:20:19,210 --> 00:20:22,790
Yeah, but I spelled it right. Oh, Mike,
that's not funny.

303
00:20:22,990 --> 00:20:26,390
Look, I really wish I had more time to
chat here, but this report is due here

304
00:20:26,390 --> 00:20:29,390
pretty soon. Mike, this is not cute,
amusing, or charming.

305
00:20:29,750 --> 00:20:34,530
Well, Mom... I give up. Well, I don't.
Oh, Maggie, come on. We can't help him

306
00:20:34,530 --> 00:20:38,350
anymore. It's not enough for us to want
things for him. He's got to want them

307
00:20:38,350 --> 00:20:39,169
for himself.

308
00:20:39,170 --> 00:20:40,990
And apparently all he wants is to be a
bum.

309
00:20:44,110 --> 00:20:45,270
You're really mad at me, aren't you,
Dad?

310
00:20:45,610 --> 00:20:46,610
Yes. No.

311
00:20:46,790 --> 00:20:48,550
No? No, no, I'm mad at myself.

312
00:20:50,010 --> 00:20:54,030
Oh, I believed, I really believed that
you were just, well, you were bright and

313
00:20:54,030 --> 00:20:55,550
intelligent, just a little bit lazy.

314
00:20:56,170 --> 00:21:00,330
I thought maybe someday you'd snap out
of it, but I've been kidding myself.

315
00:21:01,690 --> 00:21:02,669
What are you saying?

316
00:21:02,670 --> 00:21:05,570
Nothing that he means. Jason, tell Mike
that you don't mean a word that you're

317
00:21:05,570 --> 00:21:07,150
saying. I do mean it.

318
00:21:08,190 --> 00:21:10,790
I just think it's time, Maggie, that we
should admit that we're wrong.

319
00:21:11,830 --> 00:21:12,830
About what?

320
00:21:13,130 --> 00:21:15,190
What did you want about it? Come on.

321
00:21:16,370 --> 00:21:21,350
I mean, we've been pushing you to
realize your big potential. Maybe this

322
00:21:21,350 --> 00:21:22,350
the potential you've got.

323
00:21:23,110 --> 00:21:24,690
It is not, Jason.

324
00:21:24,930 --> 00:21:29,030
Well, that's the only explanation,
Maggie. No, it isn't, Dad. Look, come

325
00:21:29,290 --> 00:21:33,490
I'm a goof, a clown, a total bozo. But I
am not stupid.

326
00:21:40,190 --> 00:21:41,190
Mike.

327
00:21:41,710 --> 00:21:43,470
I believe you're a total bozo.

328
00:21:44,130 --> 00:21:45,130
What?

329
00:21:47,610 --> 00:21:48,610
Jason, what?

330
00:21:48,650 --> 00:21:52,230
You didn't mean that. Of course I didn't
mean that.

331
00:21:52,550 --> 00:21:53,950
But you sounded so convincing.

332
00:21:54,170 --> 00:21:55,170
I hope so.

333
00:22:04,390 --> 00:22:07,050
Jason, you should have started insulting
Mike years ago.

334
00:22:09,310 --> 00:22:10,310
Where are you going?

335
00:22:10,640 --> 00:22:13,760
Well, now that I'm on a roll, I think
I'll go and wake up Ben and tell him how

336
00:22:13,760 --> 00:22:15,080
disappointed I am in him.

337
00:22:42,430 --> 00:22:49,410
And so on behalf of the entire News
Center

338
00:22:49,410 --> 00:22:55,770
3 team, Mindy, Biff, Scotty, and Dr.
Goss with the weather, good night from

339
00:22:55,770 --> 00:22:59,070
guys and gals who treat your news
seriously.

340
00:23:02,710 --> 00:23:07,370
I did it. I did it. Four pages,
footnoted, typewritten, the whole shot.

341
00:23:07,370 --> 00:23:08,189
cover, too.

342
00:23:08,190 --> 00:23:09,270
Well, that's great, Mike.

343
00:23:09,840 --> 00:23:12,780
Yeah, where's Carol? I want a rubber
nose and something brilliant.

344
00:23:13,420 --> 00:23:15,300
In bed, Mike. It's 11 .30.

345
00:23:15,820 --> 00:23:19,600
It can't be. Yes, you've been working on
this for an hour and a half straight.

346
00:23:19,960 --> 00:23:20,960
I have?

347
00:23:21,580 --> 00:23:23,140
I mean, uh, yeah.

348
00:23:23,500 --> 00:23:24,500
What'd you expect?

349
00:23:25,620 --> 00:23:26,620
Exactly that.

350
00:23:29,400 --> 00:23:33,060
Yeah, well, see, like I said, Dad, I'm
merely a total bozo.

351
00:23:33,420 --> 00:23:34,420
I know, Mike.

352
00:23:34,560 --> 00:23:36,500
We've been meaning to talk to you about
that.

353
00:23:38,520 --> 00:23:39,520
Sit down, son.

354
00:23:39,870 --> 00:23:41,450
This could take quite a while.