1 00:00:02,200 --> 00:00:03,700 Anytime this year, Ben. 2 00:00:03,980 --> 00:00:06,420 The lock is messed up. You're messed up. 3 00:00:06,960 --> 00:00:10,140 It's been a lovely birthday, Mike. Don't ruin it. 4 00:00:10,380 --> 00:00:13,480 I'm not thinking of me. I'm thinking of poor little Daddy who has to carry all 5 00:00:13,480 --> 00:00:14,439 your presents. 6 00:00:14,440 --> 00:00:15,440 How thoughtful. 7 00:00:16,960 --> 00:00:17,960 There. 8 00:00:20,740 --> 00:00:23,360 Oh, this has been a lot of fun. 9 00:00:23,740 --> 00:00:27,240 Well, I just want to thank all of you. Maggie, can I just put these down first? 10 00:00:27,340 --> 00:00:28,400 Oh, sure. 11 00:00:28,920 --> 00:00:29,920 Sorry. 12 00:00:31,020 --> 00:00:34,180 I just want to thank all of you for your wonderful gift. 13 00:00:34,780 --> 00:00:36,060 Except Mike, of course. 14 00:00:36,640 --> 00:00:40,580 What? Next time you buy perfume, don't buy it at a bowling alley. 15 00:00:42,700 --> 00:00:44,900 Excuse me, why isn't the light on in the living room? 16 00:00:45,120 --> 00:00:46,360 I don't know, maybe it burned out. 17 00:00:46,960 --> 00:00:47,960 Uh -huh. 18 00:00:48,320 --> 00:00:49,920 And you had nothing to do with it? 19 00:00:50,620 --> 00:00:51,620 What? 20 00:00:52,160 --> 00:00:53,460 Carol? What? 21 00:00:54,160 --> 00:00:55,840 Mike? Hey, I didn't do it. 22 00:00:56,720 --> 00:00:58,640 You guys are throwing me a surprise. 23 00:01:02,960 --> 00:01:05,900 No. Don't ever play poker, Jason. You're a terrible bluffer. 24 00:01:06,620 --> 00:01:07,620 No, Mom. 25 00:01:07,640 --> 00:01:11,380 There's no party. See, we discussed it and we decided that it would be cheaper. 26 00:01:15,260 --> 00:01:17,260 Easier if we just took you out to dinner. 27 00:01:17,820 --> 00:01:18,820 Right. 28 00:01:19,860 --> 00:01:24,000 Maggie, all these years you've always said how you hate surprise parties. 29 00:01:24,220 --> 00:01:27,900 Yes, but underneath you knew what I really was saying and you ignored what I 30 00:01:27,900 --> 00:01:29,790 saying. That's why I love you. 31 00:01:30,070 --> 00:01:31,070 What are you saying? 32 00:01:31,790 --> 00:01:33,070 I'm ready for my party. 33 00:01:36,130 --> 00:01:40,310 Boy, is it dark in here, honey. You better turn on a light before I trip 34 00:01:40,310 --> 00:01:41,610 something or somebody. 35 00:03:04,910 --> 00:03:05,910 thing we'll call the police. 36 00:03:06,630 --> 00:03:08,930 Jason, look at my knick -knacks. 37 00:03:10,750 --> 00:03:13,030 Well, those thieves didn't miss a thing. They even got the phone. 38 00:03:13,610 --> 00:03:15,290 Why would someone rob us? 39 00:03:15,530 --> 00:03:16,610 We're the seamers. 40 00:03:18,990 --> 00:03:19,990 Oh, good. 41 00:03:22,130 --> 00:03:24,270 At least they didn't take that phone. Dad, Dad, don't touch it. There could be 42 00:03:24,270 --> 00:03:27,130 fingerprints anywhere, okay? I like to put my fingerprints somewhere. 43 00:03:27,530 --> 00:03:30,210 All right, now, everybody, I just want you all to just calm down, okay? Calm 44 00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:32,070 down, Dad. We've been invaded here. 45 00:03:49,870 --> 00:03:51,170 Yes, I want to report a burglary. 46 00:03:51,690 --> 00:03:54,010 Yeah, my name is... Jason! I know that. 47 00:03:55,970 --> 00:03:57,070 It's still hot. 48 00:04:09,570 --> 00:04:10,570 What's that noise? 49 00:04:10,950 --> 00:04:15,610 It sounded like someone walking through the bushes with a big knife and a gun, 50 00:04:15,650 --> 00:04:17,310 and they... It's your imagination, Carol. 51 00:04:18,049 --> 00:04:20,750 Jason, it has been over an hour. Where are the police? 52 00:04:21,029 --> 00:04:23,910 Just figures. There's only cops around when you don't need them. 53 00:04:24,310 --> 00:04:25,309 Like when? 54 00:04:25,310 --> 00:04:28,950 Like when you're speeding a little bit or sneaking into a drive -in or 55 00:04:28,950 --> 00:04:29,950 a street sign. 56 00:04:32,230 --> 00:04:34,170 These are just random examples, Dad. 57 00:04:35,330 --> 00:04:36,850 Where are those clowns anyway? 58 00:04:40,790 --> 00:04:43,610 The police are clowns. 59 00:04:44,670 --> 00:04:45,670 You've seen her? 60 00:04:46,030 --> 00:04:47,030 Yes, who are you? 61 00:04:49,390 --> 00:04:50,970 I'm a happy birthday girl. 62 00:04:51,210 --> 00:04:55,750 Happy birthday girl. Happy, happy, happy, happy. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, 63 00:04:56,950 --> 00:04:58,050 Well, that was pretty rude. 64 00:05:00,130 --> 00:05:01,950 Well, you were supposed to be here at 9 o 'clock. 65 00:05:02,650 --> 00:05:04,490 And you were supposed to be Humphrey Bogart. 66 00:05:04,990 --> 00:05:06,550 Oh, wow, you're kidding. 67 00:05:07,650 --> 00:05:08,690 I feel terrible. 68 00:05:12,010 --> 00:05:14,490 What a mix -up. You must think I'm a total bozo. 69 00:05:18,950 --> 00:05:21,690 Long as I'm here, want me to make you a balloon rhino? 70 00:05:22,290 --> 00:05:24,510 Less than anything in the world. 71 00:05:27,650 --> 00:05:28,810 Oh, Jason. 72 00:05:29,350 --> 00:05:30,690 Robbed on my birthday. 73 00:05:31,130 --> 00:05:33,030 Jason, it just doesn't seem fair. 74 00:05:33,470 --> 00:05:36,470 I wanted you to remember this birthday forever. 75 00:05:37,050 --> 00:05:38,190 I wish you well, Dad. 76 00:05:41,810 --> 00:05:43,650 What are you people doing to me? 77 00:05:44,210 --> 00:05:45,670 Excuse me, are you the fever? 78 00:05:45,910 --> 00:05:46,910 Yes, yes. 79 00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:49,620 Officer Wright, Long Island PD. You reported a burglary? 80 00:05:50,080 --> 00:05:52,040 Uh, wait a minute. You got some ID? 81 00:05:54,820 --> 00:05:56,260 You think he's my jammy son? 82 00:05:57,880 --> 00:06:00,800 Mike. Come on, Dad. You could have rented that from a costume shop. 83 00:06:01,340 --> 00:06:03,240 The man is a policeman, Mike, okay? 84 00:06:03,580 --> 00:06:04,580 Thank you. 85 00:06:05,260 --> 00:06:06,260 Do you have some ID? 86 00:06:07,400 --> 00:06:08,680 No, it's okay. No, we'll trust you. 87 00:06:09,140 --> 00:06:11,280 Well, how about we go inside so I can take down your report? 88 00:06:11,760 --> 00:06:13,900 Well, we're not even sure the burglars have left yet. 89 00:06:17,260 --> 00:06:20,520 Mr. Seaver, it's been an hour. You really think he's hanging around in 90 00:06:20,520 --> 00:06:21,520 taking a bubble bath? 91 00:06:22,760 --> 00:06:23,760 That's a good thinking. 92 00:06:24,320 --> 00:06:25,320 Okay, everybody, come on in. 93 00:06:31,200 --> 00:06:32,880 I am still scared. 94 00:06:33,340 --> 00:06:35,220 Maggie, look at the size of this guy. 95 00:06:35,700 --> 00:06:36,700 I feel safe. 96 00:06:39,540 --> 00:06:44,940 You know, my grandpa's a cop, so I know all about it. Watch my step. 97 00:06:45,460 --> 00:06:46,620 He's not black, though. 98 00:06:47,420 --> 00:06:48,420 Nobody's perfect. 99 00:06:56,660 --> 00:06:57,660 Excuse me. 100 00:07:00,600 --> 00:07:02,700 What a shame. 101 00:07:04,240 --> 00:07:07,060 We reach right through here and pop the front door. 102 00:07:07,540 --> 00:07:09,960 Come on, you're touching the glass. How are you supposed to take fingerprints? 103 00:07:10,380 --> 00:07:12,880 We don't have the manpower to take prints on a minor crime. 104 00:07:13,720 --> 00:07:14,720 Minor? 105 00:07:17,840 --> 00:07:18,840 No one was hurt. 106 00:07:19,420 --> 00:07:20,600 And that's our fault? 107 00:07:22,060 --> 00:07:24,620 If you don't take fingerprints, how are you supposed to put out an APB? 108 00:07:25,100 --> 00:07:26,100 We don't. 109 00:07:27,740 --> 00:07:30,500 Well, not exactly Miami Vice now, are we? 110 00:07:33,480 --> 00:07:35,520 And you're not exactly the Cosby Show either. 111 00:07:41,880 --> 00:07:46,260 Uh, excuse me, but would it ruin any evidence if I go to the bathroom? 112 00:07:46,650 --> 00:07:48,370 If not, we're going to have a major problem. 113 00:07:48,750 --> 00:07:49,750 No, that should be okay. 114 00:07:51,070 --> 00:07:53,130 Hello, officer. If you don't take prints, what do you do? 115 00:07:54,050 --> 00:07:58,290 Well, first I look for any hard evidence. You know, burglar tools, 116 00:07:58,830 --> 00:07:59,830 Point of entry. 117 00:08:00,030 --> 00:08:01,030 Right. 118 00:08:01,390 --> 00:08:03,730 Then we fill out a report listing all your stolen items. 119 00:08:04,010 --> 00:08:05,590 You'll need that for your insurance company. 120 00:08:06,090 --> 00:08:07,670 Then I go to my next burglary call. 121 00:08:08,570 --> 00:08:10,150 Is that how your grandpa would handle it? 122 00:08:10,670 --> 00:08:15,590 No. He'd single -handedly capture the bad guys, take their guns, and be 123 00:08:15,590 --> 00:08:16,590 invited... 124 00:08:25,120 --> 00:08:26,120 Wow. Hey, 125 00:08:26,860 --> 00:08:32,799 happy birthday. 126 00:08:35,059 --> 00:08:38,100 Now, should we wait before we file the insurance claim and give you guys a 127 00:08:38,100 --> 00:08:39,100 chance to find our stuff? 128 00:08:39,940 --> 00:08:43,200 Is that a no? 129 00:08:48,620 --> 00:08:49,620 Jason, look at this. 130 00:08:49,720 --> 00:08:51,860 Just a second, honey. This is important. 131 00:08:52,140 --> 00:08:54,360 What? My secret recipe chicken soup. 132 00:08:56,440 --> 00:08:57,520 It's gone, too? 133 00:08:58,220 --> 00:09:02,660 Well, yeah, maybe just one of the kids. No, no, no. Ask them. Can you believe 134 00:09:02,660 --> 00:09:03,660 this? 135 00:09:03,720 --> 00:09:05,420 Honey, we're missing a lot of things. 136 00:09:05,740 --> 00:09:07,520 What's so important about your chicken soup? 137 00:09:08,620 --> 00:09:11,380 I didn't make it for them. I made it for us. 138 00:09:11,960 --> 00:09:15,060 Well, that just about covers it. Add chicken soup to that list. 139 00:09:15,300 --> 00:09:17,480 What? Or is that too minor? 140 00:09:18,990 --> 00:09:19,990 I'd do it. 141 00:09:21,110 --> 00:09:22,110 Chicken soup. 142 00:09:22,170 --> 00:09:23,170 Whip noodle. 143 00:09:23,210 --> 00:09:26,110 Got it. If there's any additional missing items, here's my card. 144 00:09:26,770 --> 00:09:28,610 Want to get a thicker and a cup of coffee? 145 00:09:29,330 --> 00:09:30,870 No, not tonight. 146 00:09:31,070 --> 00:09:32,070 Too busy. 147 00:09:32,570 --> 00:09:34,910 Oh, come on. You don't have to go yet. Stay. 148 00:09:35,610 --> 00:09:38,230 Eat. Mom, make him a cake. 149 00:09:39,770 --> 00:09:40,770 Can't stay, little buddy. 150 00:09:41,570 --> 00:09:44,370 But who's going to protect us when the bad guys get back? 151 00:09:44,710 --> 00:09:45,710 Hey, hey, hey. 152 00:09:45,890 --> 00:09:46,890 Don't worry. 153 00:09:47,310 --> 00:09:48,310 They won't come back tonight. 154 00:09:53,530 --> 00:09:54,530 Night. 155 00:09:57,690 --> 00:09:59,810 And the silver candlesticks are gone, too. 156 00:10:00,450 --> 00:10:01,450 That's about it. 157 00:10:01,470 --> 00:10:02,470 Aren't you forgetting something? 158 00:10:02,830 --> 00:10:05,870 What? Well, that sweater that your mother knitted for me. 159 00:10:06,350 --> 00:10:08,070 It's the sleeve that's five feet long. 160 00:10:09,630 --> 00:10:10,770 It's right in your hand. 161 00:10:11,030 --> 00:10:13,590 Well, you know that, and I know that, but your mother doesn't know it. 162 00:10:15,910 --> 00:10:19,670 My mother worked very hard on that sweater. That's why it's going to be 163 00:10:19,670 --> 00:10:20,670 tragic loss. 164 00:10:24,870 --> 00:10:25,870 Maggie? 165 00:10:27,410 --> 00:10:28,430 Honey, what is it? 166 00:10:29,870 --> 00:10:30,870 Hey. 167 00:10:31,850 --> 00:10:36,950 Oh, Jason, they... They came into my house, they touched our things, they 168 00:10:36,950 --> 00:10:37,950 through everything. 169 00:10:38,570 --> 00:10:40,990 They know what size my underwear is. 170 00:10:42,630 --> 00:10:44,890 Well, we're okay. Nobody was hurt. 171 00:10:45,470 --> 00:10:47,310 But what if they come back when we're here? 172 00:10:47,610 --> 00:10:48,810 Why would they come back? 173 00:10:49,310 --> 00:10:51,230 Why did they come in the first place? 174 00:10:52,910 --> 00:10:54,630 Hi. Hi, honey. 175 00:10:54,990 --> 00:10:56,930 Can I come sleep with you guys? 176 00:10:58,130 --> 00:10:59,130 Sure. 177 00:11:05,250 --> 00:11:07,450 Hey, nobody's getting my stuff. 178 00:11:09,290 --> 00:11:11,050 Hi. Hi, sweetheart. 179 00:11:11,730 --> 00:11:14,510 Listen, you know, I was wondering... 180 00:11:15,470 --> 00:11:16,970 Come on in. 181 00:11:17,590 --> 00:11:18,590 Thanks. 182 00:11:20,970 --> 00:11:21,970 Hey. 183 00:11:22,550 --> 00:11:23,610 You scared, too? 184 00:11:24,490 --> 00:11:29,310 Me? Scared? Come on, man. I just thought that you guys could use a little 185 00:11:29,310 --> 00:11:31,050 protection up here. 186 00:11:32,530 --> 00:11:34,270 I don't buy that for a second. 187 00:11:34,690 --> 00:11:35,690 Hey. 188 00:11:55,120 --> 00:11:56,120 else awake? 189 00:11:56,520 --> 00:11:57,520 Yeah. 190 00:11:59,080 --> 00:12:00,140 Well, this is silly. 191 00:12:01,620 --> 00:12:02,620 You know what I think? 192 00:12:03,400 --> 00:12:07,200 I think everybody should get up and we should go explore our feelings about 193 00:12:07,200 --> 00:12:07,999 what's happened. 194 00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:09,200 I don't believe this. 195 00:12:09,540 --> 00:12:12,020 No, I mean it. Come on. Everybody up. Let's go. 196 00:12:12,500 --> 00:12:15,780 Conversation is just what the doctor ordered. I know. I'm the doctor. 197 00:12:16,020 --> 00:12:17,680 We don't have anything to talk about. 198 00:12:18,220 --> 00:12:21,140 Oh, your dad's right. We could use some help falling asleep and listening to 199 00:12:21,140 --> 00:12:22,680 your father could put us right out. 200 00:12:24,320 --> 00:12:27,740 Thank you. I didn't mean that. I don't know what I meant, but I didn't mean 201 00:12:27,740 --> 00:12:28,740 that. 202 00:12:29,300 --> 00:12:30,520 Okay, I meant it. 203 00:12:31,380 --> 00:12:34,200 Come on, let's go. Hey, Dad, do you want me to wake Ben up? 204 00:12:35,060 --> 00:12:37,540 So we can find out why he's having trouble sleeping? 205 00:12:38,560 --> 00:12:39,800 Oh, good, Mike, good. 206 00:12:44,110 --> 00:12:47,410 Well, since something like this has never happened to us before, it's 207 00:12:47,410 --> 00:12:49,210 that we dig into our anxieties. 208 00:12:49,770 --> 00:12:50,910 Examine our feelings. 209 00:12:51,390 --> 00:12:53,530 We've got to go inward and downward. 210 00:12:55,190 --> 00:12:56,650 Right now, I'll make coffee. 211 00:12:57,350 --> 00:12:58,410 That'll help us sleep. 212 00:12:58,810 --> 00:13:01,610 Okay, decaf. I'm in no mood to argue, Jason. 213 00:13:06,250 --> 00:13:07,250 Okay, kids, come on. 214 00:13:08,270 --> 00:13:12,250 Let's talk about what's bothering you. I see no reason whatsoever to discuss 215 00:13:12,250 --> 00:13:13,250 this a moment longer. 216 00:13:13,989 --> 00:13:14,989 That's a good start. 217 00:13:16,030 --> 00:13:17,030 Right? 218 00:13:18,210 --> 00:13:19,210 Mike. 219 00:13:20,150 --> 00:13:21,530 Oh, uh, right. 220 00:13:22,090 --> 00:13:25,330 But yeah, yeah, that's a real good start, too. Let's get in touch a little 221 00:13:25,330 --> 00:13:26,710 with why you're so weird, all right? 222 00:13:28,770 --> 00:13:31,630 This is not good. I bet one of your scumbag friends has something to do with 223 00:13:31,630 --> 00:13:35,170 this burglary. Hey, hey, don't talk about my friends like that, all right? 224 00:13:35,170 --> 00:13:37,250 and Boner are too stupid to think of something like this. 225 00:13:38,390 --> 00:13:39,390 Oh, thank you. 226 00:13:43,950 --> 00:13:44,950 See, this is good. 227 00:13:47,410 --> 00:13:51,490 See, the anger you two are feeling right now is a carryover from the burglary. 228 00:13:51,570 --> 00:13:53,870 And it's good to... Let me finish! 229 00:13:58,510 --> 00:13:59,510 Maggie? 230 00:14:05,370 --> 00:14:06,370 Honey, 231 00:14:08,210 --> 00:14:09,029 what is it? 232 00:14:09,030 --> 00:14:11,910 What? You came in here to make coffee. 233 00:14:12,480 --> 00:14:15,760 You want me to make coffee, Jason? We're having a hard enough time getting to 234 00:14:15,760 --> 00:14:16,760 sleep as it is. 235 00:14:17,700 --> 00:14:21,360 Then let's just go in and sit down and talk about what's disturbing you. Oh, 236 00:14:21,380 --> 00:14:25,100 nothing's disturbing me. Just because I want to sterilize everything that scum 237 00:14:25,100 --> 00:14:26,100 touched. 238 00:14:26,280 --> 00:14:29,900 I know. I mean, he had a cup of coffee. You want to drink out of the same coffee 239 00:14:29,900 --> 00:14:30,900 pot he did? 240 00:14:31,200 --> 00:14:32,720 Honey, I don't even want coffee. 241 00:14:33,740 --> 00:14:35,720 Well, then what did you ask me to make it for? 242 00:14:57,800 --> 00:14:58,820 Oh, grow up, Ben. 243 00:14:59,720 --> 00:15:01,200 Will you go easy on him, Mike? 244 00:15:01,660 --> 00:15:04,260 Ben, we're going to be downstairs. If you want to join us, we're going to be 245 00:15:04,260 --> 00:15:05,380 talking through our feelings. 246 00:15:05,860 --> 00:15:07,940 I don't have any feelings. I'm fine. 247 00:15:08,400 --> 00:15:09,400 You're fine? 248 00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:12,100 I will be as soon as I change my shorts. 249 00:15:33,830 --> 00:15:35,290 Okay, Mike, we'll come back to you. 250 00:15:37,470 --> 00:15:38,470 Ben, what about you? 251 00:15:39,010 --> 00:15:40,010 She's bleeping. 252 00:15:40,830 --> 00:15:43,710 Jason, this has been very helpful, and I feel much better. 253 00:15:44,110 --> 00:15:46,990 Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some cleaning to do. 254 00:15:48,650 --> 00:15:52,010 Dad, do you think the thieves are sitting around the thief place exploring 255 00:15:52,010 --> 00:15:53,010 emotions? 256 00:15:54,130 --> 00:15:55,690 Maggie, can you just sit down, please? 257 00:15:56,330 --> 00:15:58,010 You can clean while we talk, can't I? 258 00:15:58,250 --> 00:15:59,250 All right, sure. 259 00:16:05,580 --> 00:16:06,580 Could you turn it off? 260 00:16:07,980 --> 00:16:10,340 I'm sorry. I couldn't hear you over the vacuum cleaner. 261 00:16:11,400 --> 00:16:13,120 You're okay, Ben. It's all right. You're safe. 262 00:16:13,320 --> 00:16:14,219 You're safe. 263 00:16:14,220 --> 00:16:15,220 Oh, good. 264 00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:17,040 I wish I could buy that. 265 00:16:17,940 --> 00:16:19,320 Are you saying we're not safe? 266 00:16:19,720 --> 00:16:22,680 Let's put it this way, Ben. If some big dude breaks into the house, you think 267 00:16:22,680 --> 00:16:24,300 Dad is going to wrestle him to the ground? 268 00:16:25,960 --> 00:16:26,960 Or Mom. 269 00:16:28,660 --> 00:16:31,740 Who else thinks there's a possibility someone else will break in? 270 00:16:33,200 --> 00:16:34,200 Come on, be honest. 271 00:16:38,829 --> 00:16:39,829 Maggie? 272 00:16:40,990 --> 00:16:44,390 Well, you wanted honesty. See what happens when you ask for that? I was 273 00:16:44,390 --> 00:16:46,410 happy to stand here with my vacuum cleaner and lie. 274 00:16:46,970 --> 00:16:48,850 No, I'm glad you didn't. This is good. 275 00:16:52,450 --> 00:16:55,910 I mean, it's good that we're finally able to admit that the reason we can't 276 00:16:55,910 --> 00:16:56,910 sleep is we're afraid. 277 00:16:57,490 --> 00:16:58,490 All of us. 278 00:16:59,270 --> 00:17:00,410 You're afraid, too? 279 00:17:00,690 --> 00:17:01,690 Yes, Ben. 280 00:17:01,950 --> 00:17:03,310 You're a dad in everything. 281 00:17:05,680 --> 00:17:07,980 If you keep going on like this, this kid is going to explode. 282 00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:12,140 Look, I don't mean to frighten anyone, but if we don't deal with this honestly, 283 00:17:12,380 --> 00:17:14,220 Ben's going to be dragging that box to college. 284 00:17:15,900 --> 00:17:16,900 I'm not heavy. 285 00:17:19,260 --> 00:17:20,260 What should we do? 286 00:17:20,540 --> 00:17:21,760 Well, that's the question. 287 00:17:22,920 --> 00:17:25,000 Something terrible has just happened to us. 288 00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:26,200 What do we do? 289 00:17:26,800 --> 00:17:29,480 Daddy, that's one of those questions that you always ask us that you already 290 00:17:29,480 --> 00:17:30,480 know the answer to. 291 00:17:31,680 --> 00:17:33,500 Well, I have some thoughts. I'd like to hear yours. 292 00:17:34,240 --> 00:17:37,260 I say we get a burglar alarm, the biggest and loudest. 293 00:17:37,500 --> 00:17:40,700 Do you honestly think Sylvester Stallone had the burglar alarm? 294 00:17:41,260 --> 00:17:43,680 No, his wife got that in the settlement. 295 00:17:45,540 --> 00:17:50,300 My point is, the only way to protect yourself is with guns, lots of them. 296 00:17:50,460 --> 00:17:52,240 No. That's so stupid. 297 00:17:52,500 --> 00:17:53,500 You got a better idea? 298 00:17:53,620 --> 00:17:54,840 As a matter of fact, I do. 299 00:17:55,100 --> 00:17:56,320 All right, let's hear it. Okay. 300 00:17:57,340 --> 00:18:02,140 Well, ever since this has happened, I've been asking myself, why do thieves come 301 00:18:02,140 --> 00:18:03,140 here? Why? 302 00:18:03,580 --> 00:18:04,580 To steal junk. 303 00:18:04,980 --> 00:18:07,160 Exactly. And they call her the genius? 304 00:18:08,940 --> 00:18:12,860 You can't steal someone's possessions if they don't have any, right? 305 00:18:13,480 --> 00:18:17,120 So the answer is, we get rid of all our possessions. 306 00:18:20,160 --> 00:18:23,220 Everybody who thinks that's the stupidest idea they ever heard, raise 307 00:18:24,540 --> 00:18:25,680 All right, what's it going to be? 308 00:18:25,900 --> 00:18:27,020 Rifles or handguns? 309 00:18:27,230 --> 00:18:31,650 Neither. I will not have my children armed. It's a rule I have. I'm sorry, I 310 00:18:31,650 --> 00:18:32,650 didn't mention it before. 311 00:18:33,290 --> 00:18:35,250 Well, I'd like to explore Carol's idea. 312 00:18:35,990 --> 00:18:37,470 This shouldn't be a short trip. 313 00:18:39,970 --> 00:18:43,990 You know, Anna, Carol, are you saying that we should get rid of our furniture? 314 00:18:44,370 --> 00:18:45,370 Yes. 315 00:18:46,050 --> 00:18:47,050 Our appliances? 316 00:18:47,430 --> 00:18:48,430 Sure. 317 00:18:48,870 --> 00:18:49,870 Your hair dryer? 318 00:18:51,490 --> 00:18:54,610 Well, seen in the proper perspective... 319 00:18:55,920 --> 00:18:59,840 Dryer's really nothing more than concentrated wind, which is free. 320 00:19:00,120 --> 00:19:01,280 And that's not a possession. 321 00:19:02,200 --> 00:19:03,660 See, it all works out. 322 00:19:04,800 --> 00:19:06,840 I wish I had a gun now. 323 00:19:09,440 --> 00:19:14,040 Jason, it would be helpful to limit this conversation to reasonable, rational 324 00:19:14,040 --> 00:19:15,040 solutions. 325 00:19:15,300 --> 00:19:16,199 Like what? 326 00:19:16,200 --> 00:19:19,280 Like putting our house up for sale and moving to a small island off the coast 327 00:19:19,280 --> 00:19:20,280 Maine. 328 00:19:20,520 --> 00:19:23,020 Why not a small island off the coast of France? 329 00:19:23,480 --> 00:19:24,540 We don't speak... 330 00:19:29,770 --> 00:19:31,650 Look, I know we can't move. 331 00:19:33,110 --> 00:19:38,270 But I sure feel like going somewhere that's secure. All I want is for my kids 332 00:19:38,270 --> 00:19:40,250 feel as safe as I did when I was a little girl. 333 00:19:41,330 --> 00:19:43,270 Maggie, your father was a policeman. 334 00:19:44,270 --> 00:19:45,630 Nobody would rob a cop. 335 00:19:46,190 --> 00:19:48,470 Right, because everybody knows that cops have guns. 336 00:19:50,790 --> 00:19:52,250 Guns are not the answer, Mike. 337 00:19:53,130 --> 00:19:55,570 Besides, if we had a gun, that could have gotten stolen, too. 338 00:19:56,270 --> 00:19:59,550 And there's a distinct possibility that somebody could get accidentally shot 339 00:19:59,550 --> 00:20:01,390 while sneaking in here late. 340 00:20:02,810 --> 00:20:03,810 That's a point. 341 00:20:05,190 --> 00:20:07,270 Well, we all agree. We give everything away. 342 00:20:07,710 --> 00:20:08,850 Right. What? 343 00:20:09,330 --> 00:20:13,190 Your father doesn't mean that. He's trying to make a point. 344 00:20:14,310 --> 00:20:16,530 You are trying to make a point, aren't you? 345 00:20:16,730 --> 00:20:18,570 Well, I think Carol has a good idea. 346 00:20:19,190 --> 00:20:21,090 Why not get rid of all of our possessions? 347 00:20:21,630 --> 00:20:25,880 Yeah. Get rid of everything. That way nobody will rob us. Right. We'll be 348 00:20:26,100 --> 00:20:30,180 Exactly. We can sit here, happy and secure on a bare floor, naked. 349 00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:33,000 Not me. 350 00:20:33,660 --> 00:20:35,620 Well, we'll save some rags for clothes. 351 00:20:36,020 --> 00:20:37,020 No brand name. 352 00:20:37,480 --> 00:20:38,480 Fine. 353 00:20:38,780 --> 00:20:41,980 Fine, but then what happens one day when somebody comes to the door? I forgot, 354 00:20:42,040 --> 00:20:43,019 we gave away the door. 355 00:20:43,020 --> 00:20:46,360 Somebody comes to where the door used to be, and they say, well, I notice you're 356 00:20:46,360 --> 00:20:49,420 all happy and secure in here, so why don't I just take that away, too? 357 00:20:49,720 --> 00:20:51,080 Is this person a teacher? 358 00:20:52,940 --> 00:20:53,940 It doesn't matter. 359 00:20:54,020 --> 00:20:55,620 Dad, the question doesn't make sense. 360 00:20:55,880 --> 00:20:56,880 Why not? 361 00:20:57,460 --> 00:21:01,380 Well, if we're feeling safe and secure, no one can steal that. 362 00:21:03,460 --> 00:21:07,580 And isn't that exactly what they were... We're letting the thieves do to us. 363 00:21:09,900 --> 00:21:12,120 Yeah, that's right. 364 00:21:13,100 --> 00:21:15,000 But what the heck are we supposed to do? 365 00:21:15,580 --> 00:21:17,160 We don't let them take it, Ben. 366 00:21:17,520 --> 00:21:18,760 We carry on. 367 00:21:19,420 --> 00:21:22,100 We do exactly what we would do every Saturday morning. 368 00:21:22,800 --> 00:21:24,860 Listen to you yell at Mike for sneaking in late. 369 00:21:26,160 --> 00:21:27,160 After that? 370 00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:29,560 We go out to breakfast. 371 00:21:29,880 --> 00:21:30,819 Right. 372 00:21:30,820 --> 00:21:31,820 Come on, what do you say? 373 00:21:32,380 --> 00:21:33,980 But who's going to watch my stuff? 374 00:21:34,260 --> 00:21:35,260 Nobody, Ben. 375 00:21:35,820 --> 00:21:39,040 That's it. You see, either you own your stuff or your stuff owns you. 376 00:21:41,240 --> 00:21:42,240 Mike. 377 00:21:43,920 --> 00:21:44,920 I could eat. 378 00:21:45,880 --> 00:21:46,880 Carol? 379 00:21:47,360 --> 00:21:49,360 I feel like pigs in a blanket. 380 00:21:50,100 --> 00:21:51,220 Shut up, Mike. 381 00:21:59,500 --> 00:22:04,500 I knew you were making a point. I was sure of it all along. I never doubted 382 00:22:04,500 --> 00:22:05,500 for a second. 383 00:22:06,080 --> 00:22:08,200 Okay, come on. You've all got five minutes to change. 384 00:22:08,600 --> 00:22:13,300 Who needs Sylvester Stallone when we've got Jason Roland Seaver? 385 00:22:14,720 --> 00:22:15,720 Roland? 386 00:22:16,760 --> 00:22:17,780 Come on, get upstairs. 387 00:22:18,840 --> 00:22:19,840 All right. 388 00:22:20,660 --> 00:22:21,660 Go ahead, Ben. 389 00:22:25,700 --> 00:22:28,420 Would it be all right if I just took my garbage belt, kids? 390 00:22:30,040 --> 00:22:31,200 Yeah. Come on, our secret.