1
00:00:07,589 --> 00:00:08,920
What's wrong, Michael?

2
00:00:08,990 --> 00:00:10,651
I got gum in my hair.

3
00:00:10,725 --> 00:00:11,749
You do.

4
00:00:11,826 --> 00:00:14,124
This just stinks.

5
00:00:14,195 --> 00:00:15,753
Don't touch it.
Please, don't touch it!

6
00:00:15,830 --> 00:00:16,854
You've got a ton of dandruff.

7
00:00:16,931 --> 00:00:17,989
Okay, let me be.

8
00:00:18,066 --> 00:00:19,124
How'd you get gum in your hair?

9
00:00:19,200 --> 00:00:21,760
I was walking in and I noticed
something shiny under Stanley's car,

10
00:00:21,836 --> 00:00:26,102
and I'd gotten under to see what
it was, and I messed up my hair.

11
00:00:26,174 --> 00:00:28,233
All for a stupid
piece of tin foil.

12
00:00:28,309 --> 00:00:30,607
But, best-case scenario, you
thought it was a quarter.

13
00:00:30,678 --> 00:00:32,145
Kill me, right now.

14
00:00:32,213 --> 00:00:34,408
We have peanut butter
in the kitchen.

15
00:00:34,582 --> 00:00:37,244
I don't feel like peanut butter.
Get me an ice cream sandwich.

16
00:00:37,318 --> 00:00:40,719
Nope, not for you, it's for your hair.
And it is 9:00 a.m.

17
00:00:41,623 --> 00:00:44,319
No, Dwight, not the good peanut butter.
People are gonna get mad.

18
00:00:44,392 --> 00:00:47,088
Hey, hey, hey. This is my
hair we're talking about.

19
00:00:49,597 --> 00:00:51,030
Smells good.

20
00:00:52,300 --> 00:00:53,324
Tastes good, too.

21
00:00:53,401 --> 00:00:55,301
Oh, don't, that's disgusting.

22
00:00:55,670 --> 00:00:57,069
Wow, a lot of calories.

23
00:00:57,138 --> 00:00:59,402
Well, just don't
leave it on too long.

24
00:00:59,874 --> 00:01:01,808
Keep massaging, please.

25
00:01:02,610 --> 00:01:04,339
Oh, yeah, that's nice.

26
00:01:40,415 --> 00:01:42,747
Hey, Michael, how was
your date last night?

27
00:01:44,319 --> 00:01:47,220
I will be honest. The dating
has not been going well.

28
00:01:47,589 --> 00:01:50,888
Look, men are visual creatures.

29
00:01:51,526 --> 00:01:57,761
We crave beauty. Like
a piece of fine art by

30
00:01:59,434 --> 00:02:02,028
any number of renowned artists.

31
00:02:02,103 --> 00:02:07,769
Or an arty photograph
of Cindy Crawford nude.

32
00:02:08,076 --> 00:02:11,273
That, but the women I'm
getting fixed up with are...

33
00:02:12,580 --> 00:02:17,483
Not that they aren't nice
or have great personalities,

34
00:02:17,552 --> 00:02:21,613
they just, they just lack
a certain Crawfordness.

35
00:02:22,523 --> 00:02:25,356
I am livid. Absolutely livid.

36
00:02:25,426 --> 00:02:26,518
It's ridiculous.

37
00:02:26,594 --> 00:02:29,222
Yes, I'm having the Scranton
branch come in on one Saturday,

38
00:02:29,297 --> 00:02:31,731
so they can re-enter sales
that they made on the phone

39
00:02:31,799 --> 00:02:34,996
as sales made by the website, which
they should've done in the first place,

40
00:02:39,874 --> 00:02:42,809
My favorite branch.
How's everybody doing?

41
00:02:43,745 --> 00:02:45,178
Hey, man, do you mind if
I run something by you?

42
00:02:45,246 --> 00:02:47,214
Love it! Go.

43
00:02:47,315 --> 00:02:51,376
Well, I kind of feel like what we have
going for us is our customer service.

44
00:02:51,619 --> 00:02:53,780
And no matter how much
we change this up,

45
00:02:53,855 --> 00:02:56,483
I don't know that a website's
gonna be able to replace that.

46
00:02:56,557 --> 00:02:58,718
I can tell you've thought about this a lot.
I appreciate that.

47
00:02:58,793 --> 00:02:59,782
Thanks.

48
00:02:59,861 --> 00:03:00,919
David Wallace does, too.

49
00:03:00,995 --> 00:03:04,158
You told him all about this
at the Christmas party, right?

50
00:03:05,967 --> 00:03:06,991
Did I?

51
00:03:07,068 --> 00:03:08,228
You did, yeah.

52
00:03:08,303 --> 00:03:09,292
Hmm.

53
00:03:10,672 --> 00:03:12,196
Watch your back, Jim.

54
00:03:13,274 --> 00:03:14,639
I'm just kidding.

55
00:03:18,346 --> 00:03:20,940
Ladies and gentlemen, may I
have your attention, please?

56
00:03:21,015 --> 00:03:23,210
I know that a lot of you
are very angry with Ryan,

57
00:03:23,284 --> 00:03:25,343
because he is the reason we
all have to come in tomorrow.

58
00:03:25,420 --> 00:03:30,448
However, I swear to God, if
any of you hurts him in any way

59
00:03:30,558 --> 00:03:32,685
emotionally, or taunts him,

60
00:03:32,760 --> 00:03:36,321
or makes fun of his height
or his half-beard...

61
00:03:36,397 --> 00:03:38,661
Okay. Thanks, Michael.
He... Yeah.

62
00:03:38,733 --> 00:03:39,927
I'm here today

63
00:03:40,001 --> 00:03:42,970
to do some creative problem solving
about Dunder Mifflin Infinity

64
00:03:43,037 --> 00:03:44,971
and field your questions.
Question.

65
00:03:45,039 --> 00:03:46,028
Dwight.

66
00:03:46,107 --> 00:03:47,131
Why am I being forced
to come in tomorrow

67
00:03:47,208 --> 00:03:49,335
and pretend that a website
made sales that I made?

68
00:03:49,410 --> 00:03:52,607
This is a temporary measure to
increase the legitimacy of the site.

69
00:03:52,680 --> 00:03:55,342
I don't like when my clients call
me to help them use the website.

70
00:03:55,416 --> 00:03:57,043
I'm not seeing
commissions on that.

71
00:03:57,118 --> 00:03:59,643
I hear you, Stanley. That
is a great observation.

72
00:03:59,721 --> 00:04:04,351
Problems like that will not happen when
we launch Dunder Mifflin Infinity 2.0.

73
00:04:04,559 --> 00:04:06,288
When will that be? TBD.

74
00:04:06,361 --> 00:04:07,385
Phyllis.

75
00:04:07,462 --> 00:04:08,486
Did the police solve
the problem with...

76
00:04:08,563 --> 00:04:10,895
Yes, yes, they did.
Yes, they did.

77
00:04:10,965 --> 00:04:15,129
Yes, the social networking feature of
the Dunder Mifflin Infinity website

78
00:04:15,203 --> 00:04:17,728
was infiltrated by
sexual predators.

79
00:04:17,805 --> 00:04:20,740
I don't understand why our website
needs to have social networking at all.

80
00:04:20,808 --> 00:04:22,708
Yeah, actually I have to
agree with Dwight on that one.

81
00:04:22,777 --> 00:04:26,269
It's all about creating a
one-stop consumer experience.

82
00:04:26,381 --> 00:04:28,281
All right? You're chatting
with your friends,

83
00:04:28,349 --> 00:04:30,146
you're talking about
the latest music.

84
00:04:30,218 --> 00:04:31,276
About the election.

85
00:04:31,352 --> 00:04:35,550
All of it is happening in
our virtual paper store.

86
00:04:35,623 --> 00:04:38,183
And then an older gentleman
asks you, "Boxers or briefs?"

87
00:04:38,259 --> 00:04:40,659
I don't get the big fuss, here.
I like the site.

88
00:04:40,728 --> 00:04:44,129
If I had created a website with
this many problems, I'd kill myself.

89
00:04:44,198 --> 00:04:45,290
Do you have a question, Kelly?

90
00:04:45,366 --> 00:04:46,458
Yeah, I have a lot of questions.

91
00:04:46,534 --> 00:04:48,229
Number one. How dare you?

92
00:04:51,706 --> 00:04:57,338
Ryan has done a very good job, and
I am not applauding sarcastically.

93
00:04:57,412 --> 00:04:59,107
Think about it. A month ago,

94
00:04:59,180 --> 00:05:01,375
nobody would go on this
site, because we were worried

95
00:05:01,449 --> 00:05:05,852
about getting molested or losing
our identity, having it stolen.

96
00:05:05,920 --> 00:05:12,484
But now, at a time TDB, all of
these problems will be in the past.

97
00:05:12,560 --> 00:05:15,028
You done good, kid.
You done good.

98
00:05:19,734 --> 00:05:21,929
Well, it has been nice
seeing you again, my friend.

99
00:05:22,003 --> 00:05:23,027
You, too.

100
00:05:24,972 --> 00:05:27,338
Oh, Ryan, I need a
girlfriend so bad.

101
00:05:27,408 --> 00:05:28,932
Michael, let me go.

102
00:05:29,010 --> 00:05:30,170
Let me go, Michael.

103
00:05:30,244 --> 00:05:31,336
All right.

104
00:05:32,180 --> 00:05:35,081
Do you know any girls in New York
you might want to hook me up with,

105
00:05:35,149 --> 00:05:38,050
that might be interested
in a guy like me?

106
00:05:38,586 --> 00:05:39,848
Nah. Nah.

107
00:05:39,921 --> 00:05:41,513
Sorry, man. Well, you tried.

108
00:05:41,589 --> 00:05:43,056
But, seriously...

109
00:05:43,124 --> 00:05:45,820
You should see the girls I
meet at clubs in the city.

110
00:05:45,893 --> 00:05:46,985
Unreal.

111
00:05:47,061 --> 00:05:48,426
They sound great.

112
00:05:48,930 --> 00:05:53,026
Bye, everyone! Stay real,
Scranton, all right? Peace!

113
00:05:55,703 --> 00:05:57,068
Would you have
sex with Meredith?

114
00:05:57,138 --> 00:05:58,162
What?

115
00:05:58,239 --> 00:05:59,399
Do you think she'd
keep it quiet?

116
00:05:59,474 --> 00:06:00,998
I'm gonna go to my desk.

117
00:06:01,075 --> 00:06:04,909
Jim, it's not the horniness, okay?
It's the loneliness. That's...

118
00:06:05,279 --> 00:06:06,303
I know.

119
00:06:06,647 --> 00:06:08,842
Let's go to New York. We'll
go clubbing with Ryan.

120
00:06:08,916 --> 00:06:10,213
I can't. Yes, you can.

121
00:06:10,284 --> 00:06:12,047
You're single, I'm single.
It'll be awesome.

122
00:06:12,119 --> 00:06:13,177
I'm not single.

123
00:06:13,254 --> 00:06:14,721
Who are you dating?

124
00:06:15,356 --> 00:06:16,380
Pam.

125
00:06:16,457 --> 00:06:18,015
That's still going on?

126
00:06:21,062 --> 00:06:23,155
Okay, Dwight, grab your stuff.

127
00:06:23,231 --> 00:06:25,791
We're going to New York to party
with Ryan and to meet girls.

128
00:06:25,867 --> 00:06:26,993
- Yeah!
- Oh, yes.

129
00:06:27,068 --> 00:06:31,232
Count me in, dudes. I am in
serious need of some bro time.

130
00:06:32,206 --> 00:06:35,334
Old ball and chain's been a lot
more chain than ball lately,

131
00:06:35,409 --> 00:06:37,104
if you know what I'm saying.
I'm right here.

132
00:06:37,178 --> 00:06:40,670
No, singles only. Singles only.
Also, three is unlucky.

133
00:06:41,983 --> 00:06:43,348
Curse of three. Sorry, Andy.

134
00:06:43,417 --> 00:06:45,681
Cannot take any chances on curses.
Not tonight.

135
00:06:45,753 --> 00:06:48,449
Let's go. Everybody, I will see
you tomorrow, Saturday morning,

136
00:06:48,523 --> 00:06:51,822
probably wearing the same clothes
that I'm wearing right now,

137
00:06:52,126 --> 00:06:54,117
if you catch my drift.

138
00:06:54,262 --> 00:06:55,320
We get it.

139
00:06:55,396 --> 00:06:56,886
I am going

140
00:06:57,565 --> 00:06:58,623
to go get laid.

141
00:06:58,699 --> 00:06:59,723
Goodbye!

142
00:06:59,800 --> 00:07:01,324
With sex!

143
00:07:04,739 --> 00:07:06,730
You know what? If we all stayed
a couple hours late tonight

144
00:07:06,807 --> 00:07:10,004
without Michael distracting us, we
wouldn't have to come in at all tomorrow.

145
00:07:11,846 --> 00:07:15,247
So I caught everyone before they
left, and I told them my idea.

146
00:07:15,516 --> 00:07:16,676
And they loved it.

147
00:07:16,751 --> 00:07:19,515
Because this is a group
that respects good ideas.

148
00:07:20,421 --> 00:07:22,321
The one time a
year they hear one.

149
00:07:25,593 --> 00:07:27,584
Ryan's assistant told us

150
00:07:27,662 --> 00:07:30,631
that he would be at
this club this evening.

151
00:07:30,698 --> 00:07:32,325
It is called Prerogative.

152
00:07:37,104 --> 00:07:38,571
This place is packed!

153
00:07:38,639 --> 00:07:40,129
Fire hazard.

154
00:07:40,474 --> 00:07:41,566
Packed with

155
00:07:41,842 --> 00:07:43,309
"beautiful babies."

156
00:07:44,111 --> 00:07:45,942
Swingers, classic.

157
00:07:46,747 --> 00:07:50,080
Jon Favreau, tall
guy from Dodgeball.

158
00:07:50,952 --> 00:07:52,385
These women look
like white slaves.

159
00:07:52,453 --> 00:07:54,683
No, they're just hot. Hotties.

160
00:07:54,755 --> 00:07:57,952
I don't know. When you think about
it, Cabo is really the Third World.

161
00:07:58,025 --> 00:08:00,585
I don't go to a place like that
to see more poverty, you know?

162
00:08:00,661 --> 00:08:01,685
You go there to get
some glamour, and...

163
00:08:01,762 --> 00:08:02,751
Hey.

164
00:08:02,863 --> 00:08:03,852
Michael?

165
00:08:03,931 --> 00:08:04,955
Hey.

166
00:08:05,032 --> 00:08:06,056
What are you doing here?

167
00:08:06,133 --> 00:08:07,157
Well, you know,

168
00:08:07,234 --> 00:08:09,099
just taking you up on
your offer to party, so...

169
00:08:09,170 --> 00:08:10,159
Ta-da!

170
00:08:10,504 --> 00:08:11,903
That is so awesome, man!

171
00:08:11,973 --> 00:08:13,167
All right!

172
00:08:13,708 --> 00:08:14,732
And you brought this guy!

173
00:08:14,809 --> 00:08:16,037
Yeah!

174
00:08:16,143 --> 00:08:17,371
Oh!

175
00:08:19,313 --> 00:08:20,803
Ryan, it's Michael and Dwight.

176
00:08:20,881 --> 00:08:22,280
I know it's you guys! Okay.

177
00:08:22,350 --> 00:08:24,318
I'm so psyched you're here.
Well...

178
00:08:25,486 --> 00:08:26,612
All right!

179
00:08:27,154 --> 00:08:28,280
Let's get a drink!

180
00:08:28,356 --> 00:08:29,380
Let's do it!

181
00:08:36,031 --> 00:08:38,124
Thanks a lot, guys! Good job!

182
00:08:41,136 --> 00:08:42,160
Later.

183
00:08:42,270 --> 00:08:43,737
Nice job, everybody.

184
00:08:43,805 --> 00:08:44,931
Great work.

185
00:08:51,279 --> 00:08:54,407
Did you not tell the security
guard we were working late?

186
00:08:54,850 --> 00:08:57,080
Nope. I didn't.

187
00:08:57,953 --> 00:09:00,717
But let's go inside and
I can call him right now.

188
00:09:00,789 --> 00:09:03,724
We can't. I locked the office
from the inside when we left.

189
00:09:03,792 --> 00:09:06,352
Perfect. You guys worked
together on this one.

190
00:09:06,862 --> 00:09:10,923
If I'm not in my bath with a glass of
red wine in one hour, you're both dead.

191
00:09:15,404 --> 00:09:18,567
There is a master key and
a spare key for the office.

192
00:09:19,341 --> 00:09:20,865
Dwight has them both.

193
00:09:21,443 --> 00:09:25,140
When I asked, "What if you die, Dwight?
How will we get into the office?"

194
00:09:25,213 --> 00:09:28,614
He said, "If I'm dead, you
guys have been dead for weeks."

195
00:09:29,351 --> 00:09:32,616
Guys, I want you to meet a really
good friend of mine. This is Troy.

196
00:09:32,688 --> 00:09:33,746
Hey, nice to meet you.

197
00:09:33,822 --> 00:09:34,846
How're you doing?

198
00:09:34,923 --> 00:09:36,220
Hi. Dwight.

199
00:09:36,825 --> 00:09:38,759
You resemble the
Tolkien character.

200
00:09:38,827 --> 00:09:41,796
He basically is, man. He's
a regular banking wizard.

201
00:09:41,863 --> 00:09:43,990
No, no, no, not a wizard.
A hobbit.

202
00:09:45,267 --> 00:09:46,325
Bottle service, y'all?

203
00:09:46,401 --> 00:09:48,835
Oh, okay. All I know is,

204
00:09:48,904 --> 00:09:52,067
I would like some chicken
fingers and a Midori Sour.

205
00:09:52,140 --> 00:09:53,869
We don't serve food here.

206
00:09:54,009 --> 00:09:57,035
Oh, okay. Then just
bring me two cups,

207
00:09:57,112 --> 00:10:01,173
one with olives, and another one
filled with maraschino cherries.

208
00:10:03,018 --> 00:10:05,213
Do you live in a
regular-sized house?

209
00:10:06,054 --> 00:10:07,681
Yeah, he's a normal guy.
He's cool.

210
00:10:08,423 --> 00:10:09,890
You really don't have
his phone number?

211
00:10:09,958 --> 00:10:12,222
I told you, I have the
number that rings here.

212
00:10:12,294 --> 00:10:13,420
Do you want that number?

213
00:10:13,495 --> 00:10:15,190
I might have it in here.

214
00:10:15,464 --> 00:10:17,159
Wow, that's great, Toby.

215
00:10:17,299 --> 00:10:19,096
It's so random that I have it.

216
00:10:19,167 --> 00:10:20,657
Toby, you're the best!

217
00:10:20,736 --> 00:10:24,035
When I put it in, I thought it might be a
waste of time, but I guess it was worth it.

218
00:10:24,106 --> 00:10:26,506
Great. It's under here
as "security guard home."

219
00:10:26,575 --> 00:10:28,475
Did you not get his name, or...
No.

220
00:10:28,543 --> 00:10:30,943
It's ringing... Does anybody
have his name, quick?

221
00:10:31,012 --> 00:10:32,070
Yes, it's Eddie.

222
00:10:32,147 --> 00:10:34,081
It's not... It's not Eddie.
It's Evan or...

223
00:10:34,149 --> 00:10:35,548
Hank. His name is Hank.

224
00:10:35,617 --> 00:10:38,279
No, guys, his name's not Hank, it's...
Is it Edgar?

225
00:10:38,353 --> 00:10:39,377
Elliot. Elliot.

226
00:10:39,454 --> 00:10:41,388
Is it... Hey, chief.

227
00:10:42,057 --> 00:10:44,218
This is Jim Halpert from

228
00:10:44,359 --> 00:10:45,656
where you work.

229
00:10:46,027 --> 00:10:50,191
You are the guy who sits behind the desk.
You're the...

230
00:10:50,866 --> 00:10:52,766
The African-American guy.

231
00:10:52,834 --> 00:10:54,324
I mean, you're...

232
00:10:55,137 --> 00:10:56,297
Who have I got here?

233
00:10:56,371 --> 00:10:59,829
Dwight Schrute, man.
How's Schrute Farms?

234
00:10:59,908 --> 00:11:01,170
Good.

235
00:11:01,243 --> 00:11:03,074
This guy owns his own beet farm.

236
00:11:03,145 --> 00:11:04,169
Insane!

237
00:11:04,246 --> 00:11:06,305
Well, it's weevil season,
but we were prepared.

238
00:11:06,381 --> 00:11:09,043
"Weevils." What a
crazy word, man.

239
00:11:09,251 --> 00:11:11,685
I don't even know what that means.
What does that mean?

240
00:11:11,753 --> 00:11:14,119
They lay their eggs inside
the unripe beetroot,

241
00:11:14,189 --> 00:11:16,282
then, come springtime, the
babies eat their way out.

242
00:11:16,358 --> 00:11:17,689
Crazy! Sick!

243
00:11:18,660 --> 00:11:21,220
That's too much for me, man.
I'm gonna hit the bathroom.

244
00:11:21,296 --> 00:11:23,287
You've already
been several times.

245
00:11:23,365 --> 00:11:24,389
Yeah?

246
00:11:24,466 --> 00:11:26,058
Maybe you have some kind
of bladder infection.

247
00:11:26,134 --> 00:11:27,192
I don't know. Maybe.

248
00:11:27,269 --> 00:11:28,930
I'll order you some
cranberry juice.

249
00:11:29,004 --> 00:11:30,801
With vodka. You're the best!

250
00:11:32,707 --> 00:11:33,969
Do you have powers?

251
00:11:34,576 --> 00:11:35,804
Oh, thank you, Hank.

252
00:11:35,877 --> 00:11:38,539
You are a lifesaver, Hank.
Appreciate it.

253
00:11:38,613 --> 00:11:42,242
All right, so Hank is going to come
down here. He's gonna let us all out.

254
00:11:42,317 --> 00:11:44,615
He said it should be
just under an hour, so...

255
00:11:44,686 --> 00:11:45,948
Oh!

256
00:11:46,021 --> 00:11:47,045
We did it.

257
00:11:47,122 --> 00:11:49,955
We should all make sure to give
him a big tip this Christmas.

258
00:11:50,025 --> 00:11:53,188
Sorry, guys, but I don't think
I chipped in for last year's.

259
00:11:53,261 --> 00:11:54,523
Neither did I.

260
00:11:54,896 --> 00:11:56,955
Jim was supposed to collect it.

261
00:11:59,367 --> 00:12:00,891
Way to go, man.

262
00:12:00,969 --> 00:12:02,300
Now he's never gonna come.

263
00:12:02,370 --> 00:12:06,136
By a show of hands, who thinks we're
a better couple than Jim and Pam?

264
00:12:09,277 --> 00:12:10,335
Phyllis!

265
00:12:12,347 --> 00:12:16,306
I thought about getting a tattoo
on my back, as well, at one point.

266
00:12:16,818 --> 00:12:19,446
I was thinking about
getting Back to the Future.

267
00:12:19,521 --> 00:12:21,512
"Back" because it's on my back,

268
00:12:22,057 --> 00:12:26,255
and "Future" because I'm the kind of guy
who likes to look ahead into the future.

269
00:12:26,728 --> 00:12:29,891
I just think a tattoo should
mean something, you know?

270
00:12:30,098 --> 00:12:31,565
And it's my
second-favorite movie.

271
00:12:31,633 --> 00:12:33,066
I've never heard of that movie.

272
00:12:33,134 --> 00:12:36,228
Back to the Future? Oh, wow!

273
00:12:36,705 --> 00:12:39,333
Well, you should take a
film education course.

274
00:12:39,474 --> 00:12:40,668
How old are you?

275
00:12:40,742 --> 00:12:42,573
40... I'm in my 40s.

276
00:12:43,044 --> 00:12:45,774
Wow, that's so cool.

277
00:12:45,847 --> 00:12:46,836
Yeah.

278
00:12:47,515 --> 00:12:49,278
Well, I'm gonna go
back to my group now.

279
00:12:49,351 --> 00:12:50,545
Oh, okay.

280
00:12:50,752 --> 00:12:51,810
Thanks for the drink.

281
00:12:51,887 --> 00:12:53,252
You are welcome.

282
00:12:58,560 --> 00:13:00,824
This place is like a...
Like a sexy preschool.

283
00:13:00,896 --> 00:13:02,796
Did you want a place where
we can meet older women?

284
00:13:02,864 --> 00:13:05,264
I would love a place where
we can meet older girls.

285
00:13:05,333 --> 00:13:06,459
Hell, yeah!

286
00:13:07,269 --> 00:13:08,634
I'll hook it up!

287
00:13:09,638 --> 00:13:10,866
Wow, that's dangerous.

288
00:13:19,514 --> 00:13:20,572
Excuse me.

289
00:13:20,649 --> 00:13:21,741
Yeah?

290
00:13:22,284 --> 00:13:24,275
How did you all find each other?

291
00:13:24,753 --> 00:13:28,416
We're the Jersey State varsity basketball
team. Northeast Regional Champs.

292
00:13:31,092 --> 00:13:32,286
Amazons!

293
00:13:33,929 --> 00:13:35,487
It's off. It's not
the dude I know.

294
00:13:35,563 --> 00:13:37,656
It's some other loser who
won't let us in without chicks.

295
00:13:37,732 --> 00:13:39,222
- You're kidding.
- Let's bail.

296
00:13:39,301 --> 00:13:42,634
Wait, wait, wait. You two,
Jersey State girls, let's go.

297
00:13:42,704 --> 00:13:44,569
We're not going
unless we can all go.

298
00:13:44,639 --> 00:13:46,106
Okay, you know what? Fine.

299
00:13:46,174 --> 00:13:48,506
Let's go, two girls to a guy.
Come on, let's do it.

300
00:13:48,576 --> 00:13:50,168
Come on, Ryan. Move out!

301
00:13:50,245 --> 00:13:53,476
Hey, three or four with him.
Let's go, come on. Here we go.

302
00:13:53,748 --> 00:13:55,045
Don't step on him.

303
00:13:56,918 --> 00:13:57,907
Really?

304
00:13:57,986 --> 00:13:59,817
Hey, look what I
found in the back.

305
00:13:59,888 --> 00:14:01,253
Want to play? I can
teach you to throw.

306
00:14:01,323 --> 00:14:02,483
I know how to throw a football.

307
00:14:02,557 --> 00:14:03,683
Of course you do.

308
00:14:03,758 --> 00:14:05,521
Yeah, Pam! Hit me up!

309
00:14:05,593 --> 00:14:06,719
Go long!

310
00:14:13,601 --> 00:14:14,829
There you go.

311
00:14:14,903 --> 00:14:16,803
Wait a minute. What is this?
I didn't order this.

312
00:14:16,871 --> 00:14:19,066
It's for you. From them.

313
00:14:24,245 --> 00:14:25,439
What are you doing, man?

314
00:14:25,513 --> 00:14:28,243
It's not safe. Anything
could have been in there.

315
00:14:28,450 --> 00:14:29,712
Nice try!

316
00:14:29,985 --> 00:14:31,885
I've never met
anybody who does that.

317
00:14:31,953 --> 00:14:34,046
You wash dogs. Very cool.

318
00:14:34,122 --> 00:14:36,647
That's one aspect of small pet grooming.
What do you do?

319
00:14:36,725 --> 00:14:38,056
I am a bank teller.

320
00:14:38,626 --> 00:14:41,754
Ryan told me to always tell
women you work in finance.

321
00:14:41,830 --> 00:14:43,058
Cool. Yeah.

322
00:14:43,131 --> 00:14:44,655
I think so. Yeah, I have fun.

323
00:14:44,733 --> 00:14:46,633
I'm just gonna use
the powder room.

324
00:14:46,701 --> 00:14:48,328
All right. So,
I'll see you soon.

325
00:14:48,403 --> 00:14:49,631
Very perfect.

326
00:14:57,512 --> 00:15:00,379
This needs to be shared.

327
00:15:20,535 --> 00:15:22,264
She washes dogs.

328
00:15:22,337 --> 00:15:23,702
You're doing it, man I know!

329
00:15:23,772 --> 00:15:26,263
I don't want to get
ahead of myself, but...

330
00:15:26,908 --> 00:15:27,897
I think I want her
to meet my mom.

331
00:15:27,976 --> 00:15:29,466
Hey, man,

332
00:15:29,577 --> 00:15:32,637
do you ever think there's gonna
be this massive nuclear holocaust?

333
00:15:32,714 --> 00:15:34,443
And after all the major
nations are destroyed,

334
00:15:34,516 --> 00:15:37,383
there'll just be tribes in the
jungles that rise up and survive?

335
00:15:37,452 --> 00:15:39,977
That jungle warfare is
gonna rule the world?

336
00:15:40,922 --> 00:15:42,082
Yeah, maybe.

337
00:15:51,066 --> 00:15:52,090
It's inevitable, right?

338
00:15:52,167 --> 00:15:53,156
Mmm-hmm.

339
00:15:54,602 --> 00:15:56,035
Please don't pick up.
Please don't pick up.

340
00:15:56,104 --> 00:15:57,128
Hello.

341
00:15:57,205 --> 00:15:58,229
Hank.

342
00:15:58,306 --> 00:15:59,671
Is that you? Yeah.

343
00:16:00,675 --> 00:16:01,869
Still haven't left
the house yet, huh?

344
00:16:01,943 --> 00:16:03,501
I was getting ready to leave.

345
00:16:03,578 --> 00:16:05,569
Good. Please hurry.

346
00:16:05,713 --> 00:16:08,443
Stop calling me, so I
can put on my damn socks.

347
00:16:08,716 --> 00:16:11,207
Will do. I'll stop calling.

348
00:16:14,055 --> 00:16:15,317
I am.

349
00:16:15,457 --> 00:16:17,084
I am getting out there.

350
00:16:17,592 --> 00:16:20,288
Well, no, I've asked a lot
of girls to dance, Mom.

351
00:16:20,361 --> 00:16:22,158
They're just... It's not...

352
00:16:23,031 --> 00:16:24,089
Listen to me for a second.

353
00:16:25,300 --> 00:16:27,768
Yes, I shaved the
back of my neck.

354
00:16:27,836 --> 00:16:29,861
Oh, my God. Mom, I gotta go.

355
00:16:29,938 --> 00:16:31,963
One of my friends is getting
beaten up by some girls!

356
00:16:33,142 --> 00:16:36,839
Actually, it's kind of too bad
we're not coming into work tomorrow.

357
00:16:36,912 --> 00:16:38,072
Why?

358
00:16:38,147 --> 00:16:39,341
I bet Michael had some elaborate

359
00:16:39,415 --> 00:16:42,578
theme party planned, like
"Scrambled Egg Saturday."

360
00:16:43,586 --> 00:16:46,953
More like, "Hey, everyone, let's
get your boss laid" Saturday.

361
00:16:57,266 --> 00:17:00,997
I have an announcement to make.

362
00:17:01,370 --> 00:17:05,306
I am moving to Costa Rica.

363
00:17:05,407 --> 00:17:08,638
I've thought about it
for a long time, now,

364
00:17:09,145 --> 00:17:10,942
and I'm finally gonna do it.

365
00:17:12,515 --> 00:17:13,641
So...

366
00:17:14,416 --> 00:17:16,976
I'm just gonna hop the
fence and jog home, then.

367
00:17:33,135 --> 00:17:34,261
Those girls really
whaled on you bad.

368
00:17:34,336 --> 00:17:35,997
Why wouldn't they let me dance?

369
00:17:36,071 --> 00:17:37,436
Okay, I gotta go.

370
00:17:37,606 --> 00:17:39,506
Do not take him to a hospital.

371
00:17:42,011 --> 00:17:43,171
Pretty weird.

372
00:17:43,245 --> 00:17:44,712
Do you have to go with them?

373
00:17:44,780 --> 00:17:46,111
I do, I have to go.

374
00:17:46,182 --> 00:17:47,342
Stay. Just stay, please.

375
00:17:47,416 --> 00:17:48,542
Okay, no. I have to go.

376
00:17:48,617 --> 00:17:49,982
Good luck against Conn
College, all right?

377
00:17:50,052 --> 00:17:51,178
Call me.

378
00:17:51,253 --> 00:17:52,277
Uh-huh.

379
00:17:52,354 --> 00:17:53,548
I'm not gonna call her.

380
00:17:53,622 --> 00:17:54,611
I don't want to go back in.

381
00:17:54,690 --> 00:17:55,782
I know. Here we go.

382
00:18:00,663 --> 00:18:02,528
Cleaning people. Oscar?

383
00:18:05,634 --> 00:18:07,693
Okay, so all you need to do is
explain to them what happened,

384
00:18:07,770 --> 00:18:08,862
'cause I think they can help us.

385
00:18:08,938 --> 00:18:11,498
Why are you assuming
they only speak Spanish?

386
00:18:12,274 --> 00:18:13,866
If they speak Spanish.

387
00:18:14,276 --> 00:18:15,538
Good evening.

388
00:18:15,611 --> 00:18:17,238
We locked ourselves in.

389
00:18:23,485 --> 00:18:24,975
They happen to speak Spanish.

390
00:18:25,054 --> 00:18:26,385
Lucky us.

391
00:18:30,759 --> 00:18:33,227
This is a one-time thing.
You know that, right?

392
00:18:33,295 --> 00:18:34,956
Wow. All right!

393
00:18:35,030 --> 00:18:36,463
This is it.

394
00:18:36,532 --> 00:18:38,261
This is where the magic happens.

395
00:18:38,334 --> 00:18:40,131
Nice! Very nice.

396
00:18:40,202 --> 00:18:42,864
One of you can have the sofa, and
one of you can have the floor.

397
00:18:42,938 --> 00:18:44,371
- I got the sofa.
- I got sofa.

398
00:18:44,440 --> 00:18:45,566
Dwight, I got the
sofa, I'm the boss.

399
00:18:45,641 --> 00:18:47,006
Come on. I got floor!

400
00:18:47,076 --> 00:18:48,668
In case anybody needs
to go to the bathroom

401
00:18:48,744 --> 00:18:50,905
in the middle of the night, I don't
want to get my head stepped on.

402
00:18:50,980 --> 00:18:53,346
Do you want me to sing you a
song my mother used to sing me

403
00:18:53,415 --> 00:18:54,905
when we were sick? No.

404
00:18:56,085 --> 00:18:58,747
Okay, Dwight. Dwight.

405
00:19:00,256 --> 00:19:02,247
Leave him alone. It's a lullaby.

406
00:19:02,958 --> 00:19:05,586
Ryan? Ryan, we're gonna
take your clothes off.

407
00:19:05,761 --> 00:19:06,785
No!

408
00:19:09,465 --> 00:19:10,489
Guys...

409
00:19:11,967 --> 00:19:14,765
I think my friend Troy
might have a drug problem.

410
00:19:15,571 --> 00:19:16,799
What do I do?

411
00:19:17,406 --> 00:19:20,341
I think his species might have
a higher tolerance than ours.

412
00:19:20,409 --> 00:19:22,377
Just stop.

413
00:19:22,911 --> 00:19:24,378
Here's what you do.

414
00:19:25,314 --> 00:19:29,410
You tell him that you're his friend
and that you're going to help him,

415
00:19:29,485 --> 00:19:31,885
and that everything's
gonna be all right.

416
00:19:33,856 --> 00:19:35,790
And then you put a wire on him,

417
00:19:36,258 --> 00:19:38,726
and you find out who's
selling him drugs.

418
00:19:39,595 --> 00:19:42,462
And then you get that
guy and you flip him.

419
00:19:42,531 --> 00:19:45,227
You turn him into a snitch.
You follow that guy

420
00:19:45,534 --> 00:19:48,094
to the people who're
really, really bad.

421
00:19:48,504 --> 00:19:52,270
I've been watching The Wire recently.
I don't understand a word of it.

422
00:19:52,508 --> 00:19:53,805
Guys, I'm going to sleep.

423
00:19:53,876 --> 00:19:56,970
You can leave the light on if you
want, but please stop talking, okay?

424
00:19:57,046 --> 00:19:58,638
Okay. Good night, Ryan.

425
00:19:59,081 --> 00:20:00,412
Good night, Ryan.

426
00:20:03,519 --> 00:20:05,180
Best night ever.

427
00:20:05,954 --> 00:20:07,012
Like I said,

428
00:20:07,089 --> 00:20:10,217
it's not about the horniness.
It's about the loneliness.

429
00:20:10,492 --> 00:20:12,892
And how can I be
lonely with my boys?

430
00:20:14,229 --> 00:20:16,163
Like a famous person once said,

431
00:20:16,799 --> 00:20:18,164
Boys on the Side.

432
00:20:18,634 --> 00:20:20,192
But I don't... I disagree.

433
00:20:20,269 --> 00:20:23,864
I say, Let's Hear
It for the Boys.

434
00:20:39,254 --> 00:20:40,949
Son of a bitch.