1
00:00:07,041 --> 00:00:11,112
That cloud looks like a banana,
eating a banana.
2
00:00:11,212 --> 00:00:14,948
Whoa. Bananabalism.
3
00:00:15,849 --> 00:00:17,651
Uh, Flower, is that a bear?
4
00:00:17,751 --> 00:00:19,019
Oh, that one does look like a bear.
5
00:00:19,120 --> 00:00:20,221
Good call, Ira.
6
00:00:20,321 --> 00:00:21,222
No. I mean
7
00:00:21,322 --> 00:00:23,257
right there.
8
00:00:23,357 --> 00:00:26,727
Hey, Mr. Bear. How are you today?
9
00:00:26,827 --> 00:00:29,263
Mm. She is not long for this world.
10
00:00:29,363 --> 00:00:31,031
Thor happy for bear.
11
00:00:31,132 --> 00:00:32,500
Eat well tonight.
12
00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:34,835
What's that? Oh, you want a hug?
13
00:00:34,935 --> 00:00:36,804
I don't think that's what he's saying,
Flower!
14
00:00:52,686 --> 00:00:54,388
And she's staying.
15
00:00:54,488 --> 00:00:56,724
Hey. Hi.
16
00:00:56,824 --> 00:00:59,059
What are you guys looking at?
17
00:01:00,128 --> 00:01:02,596
Oh, man, I'd hate to be her.
18
00:01:02,696 --> 00:01:04,732
Yeah. Ugh.
19
00:01:05,566 --> 00:01:08,336
So, were you guys at the music festival,
or...
20
00:01:13,241 --> 00:01:16,344
And while today he may be celebrated
21
00:01:16,444 --> 00:01:17,678
as a great man,
22
00:01:17,778 --> 00:01:19,580
it turns out Hamilton was
23
00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:21,349
a bit of a nose-picker.
24
00:01:21,449 --> 00:01:22,416
Yeah, why don't you tell me
25
00:01:22,516 --> 00:01:23,651
about the revolution?
26
00:01:23,751 --> 00:01:25,085
What got you interested in that?
27
00:01:25,186 --> 00:01:27,555
Oh. Well, I mean, suppose
28
00:01:27,655 --> 00:01:29,623
it was around the time of the Stamp Act.
29
00:01:29,723 --> 00:01:31,625
You see,
the Crown had levied the most unjust tax
30
00:01:31,725 --> 00:01:33,461
on the colonies... Hmm.
31
00:01:33,561 --> 00:01:34,528
I'm sorry, what was that?
32
00:01:34,628 --> 00:01:36,330
Mm, nothing.
33
00:01:36,430 --> 00:01:38,366
Just a frog in my throat. I see.
34
00:01:38,466 --> 00:01:41,068
Um, anyway, where was I? Oh, yes.
35
00:01:41,169 --> 00:01:42,970
The Crown had levied a tax on the colonies
36
00:01:43,070 --> 00:01:45,239
to pay for their costly war with France--
37
00:01:45,339 --> 00:01:47,541
Hmm. Okay, well, there it is again.
38
00:01:48,909 --> 00:01:50,244
Sorry, I should get that.
39
00:01:50,344 --> 00:01:51,712
Wait-- Wait, but what about the book?
40
00:01:51,812 --> 00:01:54,248
Sam,
did you know they wouldn't let Hamilton sign
41
00:01:54,348 --> 00:01:56,016
the Declaration of Independence?
42
00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:58,886
Yes! They knew where those fingers had been!
43
00:01:58,986 --> 00:02:02,490
This is Paula.
She's interested in renting out our property
44
00:02:02,590 --> 00:02:04,057
as a shooting location.
45
00:02:04,158 --> 00:02:06,194
I'm with a docu-series called Dumb Deaths.
46
00:02:06,294 --> 00:02:08,396
I don't know if you're aware,
but this property was actually
47
00:02:08,496 --> 00:02:09,630
the site of a dumb death.
48
00:02:09,730 --> 00:02:11,332
Could you be more specific?
49
00:02:11,432 --> 00:02:13,267
There were a number of dumb
deaths that took place here.
50
00:02:14,168 --> 00:02:17,471
And also just some regular ones, too.
51
00:02:17,571 --> 00:02:19,207
Well, the one we're interested in involves
52
00:02:19,307 --> 00:02:20,608
a hippie back in the '60s.
53
00:02:20,708 --> 00:02:22,643
Oh, Flower... child.
54
00:02:22,743 --> 00:02:25,313
A flower child is probably
is what you're talking about.
55
00:02:25,413 --> 00:02:26,814
The woman's name was Susan Montero.
56
00:02:26,914 --> 00:02:29,783
She wandered over from a
music festival high on drugs.
57
00:02:29,883 --> 00:02:32,386
And then she tried to hug a bear.
58
00:02:32,486 --> 00:02:34,655
So, the show would be making fun of me?
59
00:02:34,755 --> 00:02:36,357
I don't love that.
60
00:02:36,457 --> 00:02:38,759
The shoot would be two days
and we'd give you $10,000.
61
00:02:38,859 --> 00:02:42,129
$10,000?
That's more than I paid for my Skylark.
62
00:02:42,230 --> 00:02:44,232
Uh, we could certainly use the money.
63
00:02:44,332 --> 00:02:47,601
Yeah, our busy season just
ended and it wasn't that busy.
64
00:02:47,701 --> 00:02:49,237
So, what do you say?
65
00:02:49,337 --> 00:02:51,171
Well, I...
66
00:02:51,272 --> 00:02:52,172
Sam, I said no.
67
00:02:52,273 --> 00:02:53,774
I don't want to look dumb.
68
00:02:53,874 --> 00:02:56,977
Tell this lady and that guy
that we're not interested.
69
00:02:57,745 --> 00:02:58,946
Um, Flower, look,
70
00:02:59,046 --> 00:03:00,814
I think you're looking
at this the wrong way.
71
00:03:00,914 --> 00:03:04,652
I mean, this is an opportunity
to really help Sam and Jay here.
72
00:03:05,686 --> 00:03:07,355
Were you going to say something?
73
00:03:07,455 --> 00:03:10,123
Yes. Yes, I was just
74
00:03:10,224 --> 00:03:11,592
thinking about your offer.
75
00:03:11,692 --> 00:03:13,126
So, give me one moment.
76
00:03:13,227 --> 00:03:16,029
Mm. Yeah,
this is all just part of her process.
77
00:03:16,129 --> 00:03:17,465
She's very deliberative.
78
00:03:17,565 --> 00:03:19,533
As a small business owner in life myself,
79
00:03:19,633 --> 00:03:21,602
I can attest to the fact
that these early days
80
00:03:21,702 --> 00:03:23,537
can be some of the most stressful.
81
00:03:26,607 --> 00:03:29,710
You should see her try to pick out a movie.
Oof!
82
00:03:29,810 --> 00:03:31,979
Heck, I've arguably got the
dumbest death of them all.
83
00:03:32,079 --> 00:03:34,615
But I'd still be proud to
be able to lend a hand.
84
00:03:34,715 --> 00:03:36,684
I mean, think of all Sam does for us.
85
00:03:36,784 --> 00:03:39,987
Yeah, Flower. Do it for Sam and Jay.
86
00:03:40,854 --> 00:03:42,556
I guess you're right.
87
00:03:42,656 --> 00:03:45,493
Okay, Sam. They can do the show about me.
88
00:03:46,327 --> 00:03:49,162
Okay.
Having thought about the pros and cons,
89
00:03:49,263 --> 00:03:51,064
I think we should do it.
90
00:03:51,164 --> 00:03:52,800
Great.
91
00:03:52,900 --> 00:03:54,668
You know, Nigel,
92
00:03:54,768 --> 00:03:56,036
earlier today, when I was telling Sam
93
00:03:56,136 --> 00:03:58,372
about the injustices building up to the war,
94
00:03:58,472 --> 00:04:01,542
you, um, had a reaction.
95
00:04:01,642 --> 00:04:04,845
A reaction? A rather pointed, "Hmm."
96
00:04:04,945 --> 00:04:05,713
Did I?
97
00:04:05,813 --> 00:04:06,914
I'm still getting to know
98
00:04:07,014 --> 00:04:08,081
all your adorable little tics,
99
00:04:08,181 --> 00:04:11,184
but this pointed "Hmm" seems to occur
100
00:04:11,285 --> 00:04:12,986
only when you're displeased.
101
00:04:13,086 --> 00:04:15,789
I thought it was actually
quite a reserved utterance,
102
00:04:15,889 --> 00:04:18,191
given the egregious
misrepresentation of history
103
00:04:18,292 --> 00:04:20,594
I was hearing. Excuse me?
104
00:04:20,694 --> 00:04:23,664
Well, the Stamp Act you maligned
105
00:04:23,764 --> 00:04:26,033
was necessary to pay for the many troops
106
00:04:26,133 --> 00:04:27,901
we brought to protect you from France
107
00:04:28,001 --> 00:04:29,169
during the Seven Years' War.
108
00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:31,305
Oh. Please.
109
00:04:31,405 --> 00:04:33,607
If anything,
you rebels should be thanking us.
110
00:04:33,707 --> 00:04:35,876
Thanking you? Thor.
111
00:04:35,976 --> 00:04:38,446
Thor, could you come in here for a second?
112
00:04:38,546 --> 00:04:40,514
I need you to settle something for us.
113
00:04:40,614 --> 00:04:42,115
Who was right about the Stamp Act?
114
00:04:42,215 --> 00:04:46,354
Well, Thor feel there's no real
upside to weighing in here.
115
00:04:46,454 --> 00:04:48,589
Don't want to get in middle of--
116
00:04:48,689 --> 00:04:50,524
Oh, come now.
117
00:04:50,624 --> 00:04:52,526
Was it the righteous monarchy
118
00:04:52,626 --> 00:04:54,795
or the sniveling colonists?
119
00:04:54,895 --> 00:04:57,130
What's that?
120
00:04:57,230 --> 00:04:59,099
Be right there!
121
00:05:05,205 --> 00:05:07,708
Whoa, that guy's shirt says,
"It's Getting Hot In Here,
122
00:05:07,808 --> 00:05:09,610
season one." Yeah, the producer said
123
00:05:09,710 --> 00:05:10,944
it's actually a lot of the same crew.
124
00:05:11,044 --> 00:05:13,781
We walk amongst the gods!
125
00:05:13,881 --> 00:05:16,083
So how are you gonna shoot the bear?
126
00:05:16,183 --> 00:05:18,285
Is it gonna be CGI or are you
gonna get one of those guys
127
00:05:18,386 --> 00:05:19,387
in a bear suit?
128
00:05:19,487 --> 00:05:20,854
Oh, we actually pivoted
129
00:05:20,954 --> 00:05:22,856
from the hippie hugging a bear idea.
130
00:05:22,956 --> 00:05:24,725
What? The network felt there were
131
00:05:24,825 --> 00:05:26,594
too many animal episodes this season.
132
00:05:26,694 --> 00:05:28,729
But we had the location, so we looked into
133
00:05:28,829 --> 00:05:30,564
some of the other deaths
your wife had mentioned.
134
00:05:30,664 --> 00:05:31,732
Huh.
135
00:05:31,832 --> 00:05:33,634
It turns out some idiot
136
00:05:33,734 --> 00:05:35,102
got shot teaching archery
137
00:05:35,202 --> 00:05:37,004
to a bunch of little girls.
138
00:05:38,406 --> 00:05:40,240
Thank you, so nice to meet you.
139
00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:41,609
What's your name?
140
00:05:41,709 --> 00:05:44,277
Oh, my God. They're doing you, Pete.
141
00:05:44,378 --> 00:05:46,880
Aw, now you get to help Sam and Jay.
142
00:05:46,980 --> 00:05:49,316
You must be so happy.
143
00:05:49,417 --> 00:05:50,818
This is... so cool.
144
00:05:50,918 --> 00:05:53,220
I'm so sorry, I don't want to be that guy.
145
00:05:53,320 --> 00:05:55,856
But mobile phones weren't around in 1985.
146
00:05:55,956 --> 00:05:57,525
So, would you mind?
147
00:05:57,625 --> 00:05:59,359
Just-- I know you're not onscreen,
148
00:05:59,460 --> 00:06:00,928
but it's just the vibe for me.
149
00:06:01,028 --> 00:06:03,230
Also, could somebody please fetch me a Tab?
150
00:06:09,002 --> 00:06:10,804
I actually put on 75
pounds for my last role.
151
00:06:10,904 --> 00:06:12,205
Took months to lose it,
152
00:06:12,305 --> 00:06:14,341
but no one will ever
forget Customer Number Two.
153
00:06:14,442 --> 00:06:16,977
You sure you okay with this, Pete?
154
00:06:17,077 --> 00:06:18,746
Yeah, I was rattled at first,
155
00:06:18,846 --> 00:06:20,748
but I was right in what I told Flower.
156
00:06:20,848 --> 00:06:23,551
I mean,
this is my chance to really help Jay and Sam.
157
00:06:23,651 --> 00:06:25,252
Daniel, um, could I have a quick word?
158
00:06:25,352 --> 00:06:27,287
Just have a few questions
about my character.
159
00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:29,423
Well, it's five lines
160
00:06:29,523 --> 00:06:31,024
and then you get shot with an arrow,
but sure.
161
00:06:31,124 --> 00:06:34,094
What drives Pete Martino?
162
00:06:34,194 --> 00:06:36,597
Who is Pete Martino?
163
00:06:36,697 --> 00:06:39,399
A good-hearted man.
Kind to his family and troops.
164
00:06:39,500 --> 00:06:41,969
Dude, he's an idiot.
Got killed by a little girl.
165
00:06:42,069 --> 00:06:43,471
Okay, that's another take.
166
00:06:43,571 --> 00:06:45,005
Now, why would he do something
167
00:06:45,105 --> 00:06:47,340
so unbelievably stupid?
168
00:06:47,441 --> 00:06:49,209
You know, what causes a man--
169
00:06:49,309 --> 00:06:51,144
an experienced troop leader--
170
00:06:51,244 --> 00:06:53,581
to put himself directly in the line of fire?
171
00:06:53,681 --> 00:06:55,516
I don't know. Maybe he was drunk?
172
00:06:55,616 --> 00:06:56,416
What?
173
00:06:56,517 --> 00:06:58,519
That's crazy. Were you?
174
00:06:58,619 --> 00:06:59,920
No!
175
00:07:00,020 --> 00:07:01,154
Yes, of course he was.
176
00:07:01,254 --> 00:07:02,923
He looked around one day and realized
177
00:07:03,023 --> 00:07:05,258
how pathetic his life was.
178
00:07:05,358 --> 00:07:08,562
A travel agent booking
other people's holidays
179
00:07:08,662 --> 00:07:10,297
while going nowhere himself.
180
00:07:10,397 --> 00:07:12,232
Hey, we went to Epcot, buddy.
181
00:07:12,332 --> 00:07:14,167
That's the whole world all at once!
182
00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:16,670
And so he hit the bottle. I can play that.
183
00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:18,438
Great. We good?
184
00:07:18,539 --> 00:07:20,541
Mm-hmm. I'll need a flask.
185
00:07:21,475 --> 00:07:22,510
I'll talk to Props.
186
00:07:22,610 --> 00:07:24,177
Hey, do not get him a "flahsk"!
187
00:07:24,277 --> 00:07:26,580
We do not need a flask! Sam!
188
00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:29,082
Sorry, in a bit of a rush.
189
00:07:29,182 --> 00:07:31,785
Who is this woman who just
walked to the head of the line?
190
00:07:31,885 --> 00:07:33,086
That's the producer.
191
00:07:33,186 --> 00:07:34,588
That's the most baller job on a film set.
192
00:07:34,688 --> 00:07:36,857
She could fire someone
for just looking at her.
193
00:07:36,957 --> 00:07:38,759
Really? So powerful.
194
00:07:38,859 --> 00:07:40,393
Hey, Paula, hey, hi.
195
00:07:40,494 --> 00:07:42,496
The arrow guy's a drunk now.
Which flask do you want?
196
00:07:42,596 --> 00:07:44,765
I'd like to see some more choices.
197
00:07:44,865 --> 00:07:47,234
Is that a problem, Gary? No, ma'am.
198
00:07:47,334 --> 00:07:49,402
No, right away.
199
00:07:49,503 --> 00:07:50,838
I like her.
200
00:07:52,372 --> 00:07:55,375
Can I bend your ears about something?
201
00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:58,979
I am in the most
frustrating tiff with Nigel.
202
00:07:59,079 --> 00:07:59,980
About what?
203
00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:01,381
The American Revolution.
204
00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:03,083
Mm, may be time to let this one go, bud.
205
00:08:03,183 --> 00:08:04,484
No, no, no, I get it.
206
00:08:04,585 --> 00:08:06,319
It's like you guys are
rooting for different teams.
207
00:08:06,419 --> 00:08:07,420
I've been there.
208
00:08:07,521 --> 00:08:09,189
I was a huge Giants fan
209
00:08:09,289 --> 00:08:11,424
and I dated this chick who liked the Eagles.
Mortal enemies.
210
00:08:11,525 --> 00:08:13,326
S-So, what did you do?
211
00:08:13,426 --> 00:08:14,762
Whenever football came up,
212
00:08:14,862 --> 00:08:16,697
I would change the subject to something
213
00:08:16,797 --> 00:08:18,599
that no one would find controversial,
214
00:08:18,699 --> 00:08:21,034
like, uh,
The Cosby Show or Woody Allen movies.
215
00:08:21,134 --> 00:08:24,872
So you're saying in order to keep the peace,
216
00:08:24,972 --> 00:08:27,340
I should avoid the war?
217
00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:29,276
Damn, Isaac, that was good.
218
00:08:29,376 --> 00:08:31,612
Suck on that, Hamilton.
219
00:08:31,712 --> 00:08:33,446
What's going on? Pete's upset with the way
220
00:08:33,547 --> 00:08:35,015
the show is trying to portray him.
221
00:08:35,115 --> 00:08:36,684
It's a gosh darn hatchet job!
222
00:08:36,784 --> 00:08:39,152
Sorry about the locker room talk,
but I am steamed.
223
00:08:39,252 --> 00:08:41,955
They're implying that he was
drunk the day of the incident.
224
00:08:42,055 --> 00:08:44,357
Look,
I may not have had the perfect marriage.
225
00:08:44,457 --> 00:08:46,126
And at work, I was a good travel agent,
226
00:08:46,226 --> 00:08:47,527
but I was no Greg Flannagan.
227
00:08:47,628 --> 00:08:49,630
Famous travel agent?
228
00:08:49,730 --> 00:08:51,765
There are no famous travel agents.
229
00:08:51,865 --> 00:08:54,101
The point is,
the one thing I could hang my hat on
230
00:08:54,201 --> 00:08:56,103
was that I was a great Scout troop leader.
231
00:08:56,203 --> 00:08:58,606
Those kids loved me,
and I was there for them.
232
00:08:58,706 --> 00:09:00,641
That's what makes this so hurtful.
233
00:09:01,575 --> 00:09:03,476
Hey, uh, Paula, could I just have a second?
234
00:09:03,577 --> 00:09:05,445
I'm a little concerned about this whole,
235
00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:07,314
"Portraying Pete as a drunk" thing.
236
00:09:07,414 --> 00:09:09,583
Um, yeah,
we don't typically take creative notes
237
00:09:09,683 --> 00:09:11,218
from the owners of the location.
238
00:09:11,318 --> 00:09:12,953
Now, is that all? Because Paula and I have
239
00:09:13,053 --> 00:09:14,822
a million things to do if
we're gonna make our day.
240
00:09:14,922 --> 00:09:17,224
Right, it's just, I actually know his widow.
241
00:09:17,324 --> 00:09:19,359
I met his grandkid.
242
00:09:19,459 --> 00:09:20,594
Oh, God, Little Pete's gonna see this.
243
00:09:20,694 --> 00:09:22,295
This is how he's gonna know me.
244
00:09:22,395 --> 00:09:23,463
And I don't think they would appreciate
245
00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:24,898
an inaccurate depiction.
246
00:09:24,998 --> 00:09:26,800
How do you know it's inaccurate?
Were you there?
247
00:09:26,900 --> 00:09:28,468
Yes! No.
248
00:09:28,568 --> 00:09:30,170
Okay, well, if we need you
249
00:09:30,270 --> 00:09:31,404
to move your cars or anything,
250
00:09:31,504 --> 00:09:32,873
we'll let you know.
251
00:09:32,973 --> 00:09:35,008
Producers coming through, clear the way.
252
00:09:36,910 --> 00:09:38,478
This is so unfair.
253
00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:40,013
They can't do this to my guy Pete.
254
00:09:40,113 --> 00:09:41,348
What are we supposed to do, Jay?
255
00:09:41,448 --> 00:09:42,983
They're right, we weren't there.
256
00:09:43,083 --> 00:09:45,986
But we were.
257
00:09:47,020 --> 00:09:48,555
Right, that's also not helpful.
258
00:09:48,656 --> 00:09:51,358
What about one of his old troopers?
259
00:09:51,458 --> 00:09:52,693
That's it.
260
00:09:52,793 --> 00:09:54,027
We could track one of them down
261
00:09:54,127 --> 00:09:55,328
and they could set the record straight.
262
00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:56,697
That's a great idea!
263
00:09:56,797 --> 00:09:58,431
I'll look them up, and assuming they're not
264
00:09:58,531 --> 00:09:59,967
too traumatized to talk about it,
265
00:10:00,067 --> 00:10:00,968
we'll make it happen.
266
00:10:01,068 --> 00:10:02,502
It was very traumatizing.
267
00:10:02,602 --> 00:10:04,905
Thor not sleep for many
moons after witnessing.
268
00:10:05,005 --> 00:10:08,308
And I've chopped heads off,
and drank blood from open necks.
269
00:10:09,142 --> 00:10:11,278
Now, let's track down a middle-aged woman.
270
00:10:14,381 --> 00:10:18,986
Isaac, I hope you're not too
upset to go on our stroll.
271
00:10:19,086 --> 00:10:20,220
Just the opposite.
272
00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:21,855
And I was thinking
273
00:10:21,955 --> 00:10:24,491
we should avoid talk of
the revolution altogether.
274
00:10:24,591 --> 00:10:26,293
Ah. Splendid idea.
275
00:10:26,393 --> 00:10:28,996
Ooh, I wonder if we'll see ducks!
276
00:10:29,096 --> 00:10:30,397
You know, I was thinking,
277
00:10:30,497 --> 00:10:31,999
we always go for a walk by the lake.
278
00:10:32,099 --> 00:10:34,601
Why not mix it up and go for
a walk in the woods instead?
279
00:10:34,702 --> 00:10:36,403
That would be most enjoyable.
280
00:10:36,503 --> 00:10:38,672
But it is tradition that
we stroll by the lake.
281
00:10:38,772 --> 00:10:40,207
It's how we've always strolled.
282
00:10:40,307 --> 00:10:42,609
Yes, but sometimes tradition
is meant to be broken,
283
00:10:42,710 --> 00:10:43,877
especially when one party
284
00:10:43,977 --> 00:10:45,679
desires to go in a new direction.
285
00:10:45,779 --> 00:10:48,415
Well, why go in a new direction
when the old direction
286
00:10:48,515 --> 00:10:49,950
is working just fine?
287
00:10:50,050 --> 00:10:51,985
I deserve a vote in where we walk.
288
00:10:52,085 --> 00:10:54,354
No ambulation without representation.
289
00:10:54,454 --> 00:10:55,923
Wait a minute.
290
00:10:56,023 --> 00:10:58,191
You're not talking about the walk!
291
00:10:58,291 --> 00:10:59,793
Oh, nothing gets by you, does it?
292
00:10:59,893 --> 00:11:02,029
Except the most prosperous
colony in all the empire.
293
00:11:02,129 --> 00:11:05,699
Oh! This is precisely the
kind of childish behavior
294
00:11:05,799 --> 00:11:07,534
one would expect from a...
295
00:11:07,634 --> 00:11:09,002
A what?
296
00:11:09,102 --> 00:11:10,871
Say it. I dare you.
297
00:11:10,971 --> 00:11:12,605
Yankee.
298
00:11:12,706 --> 00:11:14,207
You did not.
299
00:11:14,307 --> 00:11:17,010
Yankee, Yankee, Yankee, Yankee!
300
00:11:17,110 --> 00:11:18,611
I don't get this rewrite.
301
00:11:18,712 --> 00:11:19,947
Why would I say "Howdy?"
302
00:11:20,047 --> 00:11:22,215
Is this a Western? Am I Jonathan Wayne?
303
00:11:22,315 --> 00:11:23,316
Just say the words.
304
00:11:23,416 --> 00:11:24,517
Picture's up in ten
305
00:11:24,617 --> 00:11:25,719
and we're running out of daylight.
306
00:11:25,819 --> 00:11:27,855
Thank you so much for coming.
307
00:11:27,955 --> 00:11:29,857
It would mean a lot to Pete's
family that you're here.
308
00:11:29,957 --> 00:11:31,859
I mean, it was a pretty crazy call to get,
309
00:11:31,959 --> 00:11:33,894
but if I can do something to
help out Mr. Martino, I'm game.
310
00:11:33,994 --> 00:11:36,529
Aw, she's a good kid.
Oh, Sam, offer her a ring-pop.
311
00:11:36,629 --> 00:11:38,131
Cherry's her favorite flavor.
312
00:11:38,231 --> 00:11:41,401
Paula, I would like to introduce
you to Jennifer Macklin.
313
00:11:41,501 --> 00:11:43,136
She's actually one of the little girls
314
00:11:43,236 --> 00:11:45,305
from Pete's Pinecone troop. Pete?
315
00:11:45,405 --> 00:11:47,274
The guy who died?
316
00:11:47,374 --> 00:11:48,675
Oh, right, this week's idiot.
317
00:11:48,776 --> 00:11:50,043
She has a lot on her plate.
318
00:11:50,143 --> 00:11:51,845
You were there?
319
00:11:51,945 --> 00:11:53,180
Tell me everything, Jennifer.
320
00:11:53,280 --> 00:11:56,984
Bring me inside the mind... of a madman.
321
00:11:57,084 --> 00:11:59,486
Well, for one,
Mr. Martino would never have a flask.
322
00:11:59,586 --> 00:12:00,587
He wasn't a drinker.
323
00:12:00,687 --> 00:12:02,189
Ha, see? I told you.
324
00:12:02,289 --> 00:12:04,858
But he was a bitter soul,
325
00:12:04,958 --> 00:12:06,860
visibly haunted by demons from his past?
326
00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:08,762
No. I'm sorry.
327
00:12:08,862 --> 00:12:11,598
That's about the exact
opposite of Mr. Martino.
328
00:12:11,698 --> 00:12:14,134
Damn it! Whatever tenuous foothold I had
329
00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:15,602
into this man is gone.
330
00:12:15,702 --> 00:12:17,137
I've completely lost my character.
331
00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:19,206
Right, back to basics.
332
00:12:19,306 --> 00:12:20,640
I'm a bumbling cuckold
333
00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:22,742
whose only friends are little children.
334
00:12:22,843 --> 00:12:24,344
So, you see, Pete did nothing wrong.
335
00:12:24,444 --> 00:12:25,879
It was an unfortunate incident
336
00:12:25,979 --> 00:12:28,148
and nothing "dumb" on Pete's part.
337
00:12:28,248 --> 00:12:30,183
Yeah, sorry, Paula,
if that's not good for your show,
338
00:12:30,283 --> 00:12:32,052
but, I mean,
you heard it from an eyewitness.
339
00:12:32,152 --> 00:12:34,154
Well, he did do something sort of dumb.
340
00:12:34,254 --> 00:12:35,622
Wait, what?
341
00:12:35,722 --> 00:12:37,424
Was it pills? Pills I can play.
Was it pills?
342
00:12:37,524 --> 00:12:39,759
For some reason, on that day,
I remember him handing out
343
00:12:39,860 --> 00:12:42,395
the bows and arrows before
the safety demonstration.
344
00:12:42,495 --> 00:12:43,831
What? That's not true.
345
00:12:43,931 --> 00:12:45,799
40 years seems like an awfully long time
346
00:12:45,899 --> 00:12:47,234
for such a small detail.
347
00:12:47,334 --> 00:12:48,601
No, this I'm sure about.
348
00:12:48,701 --> 00:12:50,070
He just seemed really distracted.
349
00:12:50,170 --> 00:12:52,239
He kept muttering something
about donut holes.
350
00:12:52,339 --> 00:12:53,740
Oh, my God...
351
00:12:53,841 --> 00:12:57,945
Yeah. You were muttering about donut holes.
352
00:12:58,045 --> 00:12:59,412
She's right.
353
00:12:59,512 --> 00:13:00,814
It all started that morning
354
00:13:00,914 --> 00:13:02,883
before I headed to the archery lesson.
355
00:13:07,587 --> 00:13:10,090
Is, uh-- Sweetie,
did-did you eat the rest of the donut holes?
356
00:13:10,190 --> 00:13:11,825
Yeah, I thought you were done with them.
357
00:13:11,925 --> 00:13:13,593
No, Carol, I was looking forward
358
00:13:13,693 --> 00:13:15,528
to having some before I left.
359
00:13:15,628 --> 00:13:17,297
You don't even like donut holes.
360
00:13:17,397 --> 00:13:19,366
No, I like donut holes. I don't like donuts.
361
00:13:19,466 --> 00:13:21,068
Okay, that doesn't make any sense.
362
00:13:21,168 --> 00:13:23,236
The donut holes are punched out of the donut.
That's wrong.
363
00:13:23,336 --> 00:13:24,972
You see,
donut holes come from their own machine.
364
00:13:25,072 --> 00:13:27,540
Okay, even if that were true,
365
00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:29,910
they're all donut material!
366
00:13:30,010 --> 00:13:32,679
I was so distracted, I must have handed out
367
00:13:32,779 --> 00:13:34,347
the arrows before doing the safety speech.
368
00:13:34,447 --> 00:13:38,651
Okay, so he wasn't a reckless drunk,
he was just an idiot?
369
00:13:38,751 --> 00:13:40,053
Are we done here?
370
00:13:43,490 --> 00:13:44,491
Don't listen to her, Pete.
371
00:13:44,591 --> 00:13:45,859
Why not? She's right.
372
00:13:45,959 --> 00:13:47,727
I failed those girls.
373
00:13:48,929 --> 00:13:50,998
I was a terrible Pinecone troop leader.
374
00:13:52,699 --> 00:13:55,002
A sugar fiend in need of his fix.
375
00:13:55,102 --> 00:13:59,239
His blind pursuit of pastries
ultimately costing him his life,
376
00:13:59,339 --> 00:14:01,641
and earning me a general
meeting with JJ Abrams,
377
00:14:01,741 --> 00:14:03,110
or someone at his company.
378
00:14:08,916 --> 00:14:10,683
So, how's Pete doing? He looks pretty glum.
379
00:14:10,783 --> 00:14:13,153
He tried to rip off his
Pinecone Trooper badge,
380
00:14:13,253 --> 00:14:14,821
but it just zapped right back into place.
381
00:14:14,922 --> 00:14:16,623
Thanks for highlighting my impotence.
382
00:14:16,723 --> 00:14:18,926
What's going on? Pete's impotent.
383
00:14:19,026 --> 00:14:22,362
Oh,
is that why he didn't want to be our third?
384
00:14:22,462 --> 00:14:25,598
It's okay. There's still stuff you can do.
385
00:14:25,698 --> 00:14:26,666
Paula.
386
00:14:26,766 --> 00:14:28,501
I'm sorry, but we're going to have
387
00:14:28,601 --> 00:14:30,003
to shut this whole thing down.
388
00:14:30,103 --> 00:14:31,004
Oh, my God.
389
00:14:31,104 --> 00:14:32,372
Just forget it, Sam.
390
00:14:32,472 --> 00:14:34,774
I died dumb. It's time to pay the piper.
391
00:14:34,874 --> 00:14:37,377
I get that it's accurate now,
but as friends of Pete's family,
392
00:14:37,477 --> 00:14:39,212
we just don't feel comfortable...
393
00:14:39,312 --> 00:14:40,647
Here's the thing. You signed a contract
394
00:14:40,747 --> 00:14:42,382
stipulating we can shoot here,
395
00:14:42,482 --> 00:14:45,185
so we're shooting here. Okay, sweetie?
396
00:14:46,153 --> 00:14:48,455
And that is why you are you,
397
00:14:48,555 --> 00:14:52,359
and she produced World's Hottest Dentists.
398
00:14:55,728 --> 00:14:57,197
Isaac...
399
00:14:57,297 --> 00:14:58,999
what's going on?
400
00:14:59,099 --> 00:15:02,435
It's just this thing that I have with Nigel.
401
00:15:02,535 --> 00:15:04,037
It's not going to last.
402
00:15:04,137 --> 00:15:05,472
What happened?
403
00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:10,377
It's just that our differences
are simply irreconcilable.
404
00:15:11,611 --> 00:15:13,880
Americans and the British are sworn enemies
405
00:15:13,981 --> 00:15:16,249
and it shall remain that
way until the end of time.
406
00:15:16,349 --> 00:15:18,618
Isaac. Hmm?
407
00:15:18,718 --> 00:15:21,821
Britain and the U.S. are
basically best friends.
408
00:15:23,290 --> 00:15:24,791
What? Really?
409
00:15:24,891 --> 00:15:26,726
They are, like, our closest ally.
410
00:15:26,826 --> 00:15:29,096
You know,
there's even a name for the friendship
411
00:15:29,196 --> 00:15:30,830
between Britain and America.
412
00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:33,166
It's called, "The Special Relationship."
413
00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:34,767
Honestly, Samantha,
414
00:15:34,867 --> 00:15:37,404
I'm impressed with your
knowledge of geopolitics.
415
00:15:37,504 --> 00:15:39,306
Thank you. I... I learned it from a movie
416
00:15:39,406 --> 00:15:40,807
called Love Actually.
417
00:15:40,907 --> 00:15:42,375
There we go.
418
00:15:42,475 --> 00:15:44,211
All right, last looks, everybody!
419
00:15:44,311 --> 00:15:46,746
Oh, Daniel, an idea, if I may.
420
00:15:46,846 --> 00:15:49,816
When the arrow's punctured
my neck and shattered
421
00:15:49,916 --> 00:15:51,084
Pete Martino's dreams...
422
00:15:51,184 --> 00:15:53,120
I urinate.
423
00:15:53,220 --> 00:15:54,487
Sure, why not?
424
00:15:54,587 --> 00:15:56,456
You know, that's real.
That's what the body does.
425
00:15:56,556 --> 00:15:58,691
I like it. Yeah, that's not bad.
426
00:15:58,791 --> 00:16:01,194
Wardrobe! We're gonna need more shorts.
427
00:16:01,294 --> 00:16:02,729
This is going great.
428
00:16:02,829 --> 00:16:03,863
Poor Pete.
429
00:16:03,963 --> 00:16:05,498
We have to do something to stop this.
430
00:16:05,598 --> 00:16:07,867
Sam already tried, but it didn't work.
431
00:16:09,002 --> 00:16:11,371
Well...
432
00:16:11,471 --> 00:16:15,675
then we do something.
433
00:16:18,211 --> 00:16:19,979
Are you gonna make a suggestion, or...
434
00:16:20,747 --> 00:16:23,883
Oh. No,
Thor just trying to get the ball rolling.
435
00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:26,786
You know? While I have poured
436
00:16:26,886 --> 00:16:29,289
my heart and soul into this production,
437
00:16:29,389 --> 00:16:31,491
my allegiance is with Peter.
438
00:16:31,591 --> 00:16:33,393
And I know how we can shut this thing down.
439
00:16:33,493 --> 00:16:35,062
Thor, we'll need your ghost power.
440
00:16:35,162 --> 00:16:36,963
We're going to focus
your destructive capacity
441
00:16:37,064 --> 00:16:38,998
on the most important
part of any production.
442
00:16:39,099 --> 00:16:40,300
The writer?
443
00:16:41,868 --> 00:16:44,771
Oh, sorry,
I thought you were purposely making a joke.
444
00:16:44,871 --> 00:16:48,075
No. I am talking about... the camera.
445
00:16:48,175 --> 00:16:50,110
All right, picture's up!
446
00:16:56,683 --> 00:16:59,586
Okay, I've got three takes in me.
Let's make them count.
447
00:16:59,686 --> 00:17:01,354
All right, the stunt of him getting shot
448
00:17:01,454 --> 00:17:02,789
in the neck is up next, so just make sure
449
00:17:02,889 --> 00:17:04,657
the bow and arrow's ready. Copy.
450
00:17:04,757 --> 00:17:06,626
I know I'm not technically with production,
451
00:17:06,726 --> 00:17:09,196
but hey, I am the owner of the house,
452
00:17:09,296 --> 00:17:11,464
so gimme a tuna sandwich, huh?
453
00:17:11,564 --> 00:17:13,233
No one has to know. All right.
454
00:17:13,333 --> 00:17:16,703
So, you've given the little
girls the bow and arrows.
455
00:17:16,803 --> 00:17:18,671
You should have given them
the safety precautions,
456
00:17:18,771 --> 00:17:21,974
but you were too distracted
by your donut hole rant.
457
00:17:22,075 --> 00:17:24,277
Okay, just say, "Action,"
I can't hold it in much longer.
458
00:17:24,377 --> 00:17:27,214
And... action!
459
00:17:27,314 --> 00:17:29,882
Girls, listen up, pay attention.
460
00:17:29,982 --> 00:17:30,950
Thor, camera!
461
00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:33,286
Prepare to be destroyed, tiny foe!
462
00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:36,323
I'd like to talk to you through
463
00:17:36,423 --> 00:17:37,957
some important safety procedures.
464
00:17:38,057 --> 00:17:39,792
This is all information that
would've been really useful
465
00:17:39,892 --> 00:17:42,929
before you handed out the deadly weapons,
you idiot!
466
00:17:44,831 --> 00:17:47,267
Oh, just lost a battery.
467
00:17:47,367 --> 00:17:49,001
You did it, Thor!
468
00:17:49,102 --> 00:17:52,004
Because I told him so. Producing!
469
00:17:52,105 --> 00:17:53,072
Okay, good to go.
470
00:17:53,173 --> 00:17:54,174
What?
471
00:17:54,274 --> 00:17:55,875
All right, action! What?
472
00:17:55,975 --> 00:17:57,677
Listen up, girls, pay attention.
473
00:17:57,777 --> 00:17:59,312
You got another one in you, big guy?
474
00:17:59,412 --> 00:18:00,813
You can do it.
475
00:18:00,913 --> 00:18:02,782
Come on, Thor. Come on, Thor.
476
00:18:02,882 --> 00:18:05,017
Ow! Oh. Ooh.
477
00:18:05,118 --> 00:18:06,753
Whoa, what was in that tuna wrap?
478
00:18:06,853 --> 00:18:08,155
Oh, he's quite stoned.
479
00:18:08,255 --> 00:18:11,057
Hey. You want to go for a ride,
little buddy?
480
00:18:12,259 --> 00:18:14,026
Oh.
481
00:18:14,127 --> 00:18:15,195
Ow!
482
00:18:15,295 --> 00:18:16,529
Jay!
483
00:18:17,764 --> 00:18:19,599
Is there an arrow in my butt?
484
00:18:20,533 --> 00:18:22,935
Do not remove the arrow. Stay calm.
485
00:18:23,035 --> 00:18:24,671
Help. Is anyone going to do anything?
486
00:18:24,771 --> 00:18:27,073
Do not remove the arrow. Stay calm. Okay.
487
00:18:27,174 --> 00:18:28,475
Bandages. Tape.
488
00:18:28,575 --> 00:18:30,009
Uh,
we need to support the arrow and secure it.
489
00:18:30,109 --> 00:18:31,678
Then we're gonna make a tourniquet.
490
00:18:31,778 --> 00:18:33,280
Bandages. Tape.
We need to support the arrow,
491
00:18:33,380 --> 00:18:35,948
secure it,
and then we're going to make a tourniquet.
492
00:18:36,048 --> 00:18:39,186
Wait, so Jennifer can hear ghosts?
493
00:18:40,387 --> 00:18:43,190
No. She just... remembers.
494
00:18:44,591 --> 00:18:47,527
Because you were a good troop leader.
495
00:18:48,328 --> 00:18:49,529
I guess I was.
496
00:18:54,066 --> 00:18:55,235
Oh, that's a waste.
497
00:18:55,335 --> 00:18:57,437
And he wet himself.
498
00:18:57,537 --> 00:19:00,440
Wardrobe. We're gonna need new shorts.
499
00:19:00,540 --> 00:19:01,908
And socks!
500
00:19:02,008 --> 00:19:03,510
Also socks.
501
00:19:09,282 --> 00:19:11,017
Everybody dies.
502
00:19:11,117 --> 00:19:13,119
But not everybody dies... dumbly.
503
00:19:13,220 --> 00:19:15,988
This is Dumb Deaths.
504
00:19:17,390 --> 00:19:18,691
Oh,
is this the program they did about Peter?
505
00:19:18,791 --> 00:19:21,528
No, uh, after Jay got shot with an arrow,
506
00:19:21,628 --> 00:19:22,995
we agreed not to sue in return for them
507
00:19:23,095 --> 00:19:24,564
not doing Pete's story.
508
00:19:24,664 --> 00:19:26,333
Thank you, Sam. But we still wanted
509
00:19:26,433 --> 00:19:28,067
Sam and Jay to get paid, so...
510
00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:30,102
This week's dummy is a hippie
511
00:19:30,203 --> 00:19:32,639
who tried to hug a bear.
512
00:19:34,341 --> 00:19:35,942
Hey, glad you and Nigel made up.
513
00:19:36,042 --> 00:19:37,310
Yes. If America and England
514
00:19:37,410 --> 00:19:39,246
can resolve their issues, so can we.
515
00:19:39,346 --> 00:19:41,381
They are very similar countries.
516
00:19:41,481 --> 00:19:43,816
So one has a parliamentary system
517
00:19:43,916 --> 00:19:46,453
that's slightly superior. No matter.
518
00:19:47,420 --> 00:19:48,455
Hmm.
519
00:19:48,555 --> 00:19:50,122
What was that, my special friend?
520
00:19:50,223 --> 00:19:52,024
Hmm? Oh, nothing, my special friend.
521
00:19:52,124 --> 00:19:54,160
Sam, you're on the TV.
522
00:19:55,328 --> 00:19:57,664
Yo, man, is that a bear?
523
00:19:58,498 --> 00:20:00,733
I bet it totally wants to hug me.
524
00:20:01,901 --> 00:20:03,403
Uh... Hey, Fluffy.
525
00:20:03,503 --> 00:20:06,373
Ooh! Oh, my God, this is so embarrassing.
526
00:20:06,473 --> 00:20:09,075
Then why did you insist they
cast you as part of the deal?
527
00:20:09,175 --> 00:20:10,677
Who else was gonna step in last second?
528
00:20:10,777 --> 00:20:12,912
And besides,
I was in drama club in high school.
529
00:20:13,012 --> 00:20:14,447
I thought you just built sets.
530
00:20:14,547 --> 00:20:16,549
Because of politics, Jay! No!
531
00:20:16,649 --> 00:20:20,387
This was supposed to be a hip and groovy day,
you dig?
532
00:20:20,487 --> 00:20:24,524
But this is like... the opposite of groovy!
533
00:20:24,624 --> 00:20:26,859
Didn't the real Ira run off screaming?
534
00:20:26,959 --> 00:20:27,960
He didn't think that was something
535
00:20:28,060 --> 00:20:28,995
his character would do.
536
00:20:29,095 --> 00:20:30,530
There's no such thing
537
00:20:30,630 --> 00:20:32,031
as free love.
538
00:20:32,131 --> 00:20:35,234
There's always a price.
539
00:20:38,338 --> 00:20:41,140
Is he... soiling himself?
540
00:20:42,709 --> 00:20:44,210
Yep.
541
00:20:49,015 --> 00:20:53,119
Captioning sponsored by CBS
542
00:20:53,219 --> 00:20:56,723
and TOYOTA.
543
00:20:56,823 --> 00:21:01,260
Captioned by Media Access
Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org