1
00:00:02,990 --> 00:00:07,230
11 .05 on a Christmas Eve morning, and
by this time tomorrow, fellow kiddies,

2
00:00:07,290 --> 00:00:09,870
it'll all be over but the exchanging.

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00:00:10,090 --> 00:00:12,870
Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell
rock.

4
00:00:13,530 --> 00:00:14,530
Jacket.

5
00:00:19,990 --> 00:00:20,990
Garb.

6
00:00:21,990 --> 00:00:22,990
Blue.

7
00:00:25,570 --> 00:00:26,570
All right.

8
00:00:28,250 --> 00:00:30,090
Shirt. Long sleeve.

9
00:00:30,840 --> 00:00:31,980
Oh, wrong style.

10
00:00:32,200 --> 00:00:34,040
Exchange value, $22 .50.

11
00:00:35,280 --> 00:00:36,460
Don't want to mine, Mike.

12
00:00:36,760 --> 00:00:38,280
Ben, I'm a little busy right now.

13
00:00:38,820 --> 00:00:39,820
Just one.

14
00:00:39,960 --> 00:00:41,180
All right, okay, one.

15
00:00:44,880 --> 00:00:45,880
Underwear.

16
00:00:46,240 --> 00:00:47,240
Again?

17
00:00:47,420 --> 00:00:49,280
How am I supposed to have fun with
underwear?

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00:00:49,700 --> 00:00:50,700
I don't know, wear it backwards.

19
00:00:54,520 --> 00:00:55,620
Do another, Mike.

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00:00:56,290 --> 00:00:59,310
Man, do you mind? I'm looking for the
compact disc player I've been hinting

21
00:00:59,310 --> 00:01:02,310
about, all right? Just one more, Mike.
Just one more, please. All right, all

22
00:01:02,310 --> 00:01:03,310
right, all right.

23
00:01:06,030 --> 00:01:07,510
Fox. Fox?

24
00:01:07,950 --> 00:01:10,130
What the heck's going on around here?

25
00:01:11,550 --> 00:01:15,390
Hey, don't you let Santa catch you
peeking. He'll leave a lump of coal in

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00:01:15,390 --> 00:01:18,810
stocking. I'm sure I'll have plenty of
other socks.

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00:01:20,650 --> 00:01:21,650
Ah, say, Dad.

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00:01:22,060 --> 00:01:25,740
By chance, would you need a hand
carrying all the other gifts to the

29
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The other gifts? Like all the toys I
asked for.

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00:01:29,740 --> 00:01:33,200
Why do I get the feeling neither of you
guys understands the first thing about

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00:01:33,200 --> 00:01:34,520
the true spirit of Christmas?

32
00:01:35,960 --> 00:01:38,060
You know, it's like I've been saying all
day, Ben.

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00:01:38,360 --> 00:01:41,340
It's not what we get for Christmas, it's
what we give.

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00:01:44,160 --> 00:01:47,240
Now, I, for one, will have a very merry
Christmas, no matter what I get under

35
00:01:47,240 --> 00:01:48,240
that tree.

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00:01:48,350 --> 00:01:52,030
Even if it's not the CD player that's on
sale at Crazy Harry's Computer in

37
00:01:52,030 --> 00:01:53,650
Stereo City for only $150.

38
00:01:55,570 --> 00:01:59,270
You know, Mike, there are kids in this
world who are worried about a lot more

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00:01:59,270 --> 00:02:00,630
than whether or not they get a stereo.

40
00:02:00,950 --> 00:02:04,910
Which they would probably trade in a
minute, happily, just to have what you

41
00:02:04,910 --> 00:02:05,848
already have.

42
00:02:05,850 --> 00:02:09,650
Which is a family that loves you almost
as much as you love yourself.

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00:02:14,630 --> 00:02:16,510
There, you happy now? You made him mad.

44
00:02:20,460 --> 00:02:21,960
Show me that smile.

45
00:03:30,030 --> 00:03:33,110
And a Christmas, um, bra?

46
00:03:35,070 --> 00:03:36,570
No, Mom, it's a modem.

47
00:03:36,870 --> 00:03:37,870
A modem?

48
00:03:38,150 --> 00:03:42,530
Yeah, the thing I told you I needed for
my computer that if I get will make this

49
00:03:42,530 --> 00:03:44,270
the happiest Christmas ever.

50
00:03:47,290 --> 00:03:49,110
Maggie, Carol, come here. Come look.

51
00:03:49,350 --> 00:03:50,830
It's snowing harder than before.

52
00:03:51,090 --> 00:03:52,690
Oh, isn't it beautiful?

53
00:03:54,250 --> 00:03:55,510
Happy? Yeah.

54
00:03:56,130 --> 00:03:57,790
Now, you're thinking how perfect it is.

55
00:03:59,050 --> 00:04:00,130
A beautiful home.

56
00:04:00,410 --> 00:04:01,410
Everybody's healthy.

57
00:04:03,270 --> 00:04:07,250
A great dinner's almost ready. It's
Christmas Eve and it's snowing.

58
00:04:07,630 --> 00:04:09,810
I can't think of a single other thing we
need.

59
00:04:11,270 --> 00:04:13,430
A motor might come in mighty handy.

60
00:04:14,450 --> 00:04:15,770
Not you too, Carol.

61
00:04:16,130 --> 00:04:17,329
Not me too what?

62
00:04:17,610 --> 00:04:20,290
Well, it seems like the only thing you
care about is whether you get this

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00:04:20,290 --> 00:04:21,290
present you want.

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00:04:22,330 --> 00:04:28,030
I was only commenting that if I'm lucky
enough to get a modem for my computer,

65
00:04:28,330 --> 00:04:30,990
I'd be more than willing to share it
with Mom, who could use it to write her

66
00:04:30,990 --> 00:04:34,830
stories by tying into virtually any
database in the entire planet.

67
00:04:36,410 --> 00:04:38,070
How could I have misjudged you?

68
00:04:39,850 --> 00:04:41,830
Oh, look at this. It's snowing harder.

69
00:04:42,210 --> 00:04:43,430
Oh, isn't it beautiful?

70
00:04:44,090 --> 00:04:45,930
Beautiful? Mom, the roads are getting
bad.

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00:04:46,770 --> 00:04:49,570
Michael, where do you have to go on
Christmas Eve that's more important than

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00:04:49,570 --> 00:04:50,570
your family?

73
00:04:50,670 --> 00:04:53,170
Well, nowhere. I was just thinking of my
dear old dad.

74
00:04:54,110 --> 00:04:55,190
Where does he have to go?

75
00:04:58,730 --> 00:05:00,130
or a fitty Christmas Eve blowout?

76
00:05:01,130 --> 00:05:03,790
Come on, you guys getting a kickback
from this man or what?

77
00:05:06,110 --> 00:05:07,110
Ho, ho, ho.

78
00:05:07,290 --> 00:05:08,870
Boy, have I got great news.

79
00:05:09,110 --> 00:05:12,210
You know how you guys have been saying
the real meaning of Christmas has got

80
00:05:12,210 --> 00:05:14,210
nothing to do with the presents and
other neat stuff?

81
00:05:14,910 --> 00:05:18,110
We've been talking about how sharing and
giving are more important than getting.

82
00:05:18,670 --> 00:05:23,230
Yeah, well, I was in the dumpster behind
the pizza place around the corner. Oh,

83
00:05:23,230 --> 00:05:24,230
wait, wait, wait, wait.

84
00:05:25,910 --> 00:05:28,110
Ben, what were you doing in the
dumpster?

85
00:05:28,490 --> 00:05:29,770
Christmas shopping for Mike.

86
00:05:34,570 --> 00:05:35,810
Ben, you are new.

87
00:05:36,510 --> 00:05:39,910
Yeah, well, I met this kid and I invited
her home for Christmas Eve dinner.

88
00:05:42,850 --> 00:05:43,850
What did you do?

89
00:05:45,750 --> 00:05:48,270
I brought her home so we could all share
the joy of giving.

90
00:05:48,690 --> 00:05:49,690
Hey, kid!

91
00:05:50,630 --> 00:05:55,250
Mom, this is going to ruin my entire
Christmas. Ben, you're just too young to

92
00:05:55,250 --> 00:05:56,430
inviting strangers.

93
00:06:02,990 --> 00:06:04,150
Because she doesn't have anything.

94
00:06:04,890 --> 00:06:05,970
Isn't this fantastic?

95
00:06:13,430 --> 00:06:14,430
Ben,

96
00:06:15,190 --> 00:06:19,110
we thought you understood that if any
time a stranger should come up to you

97
00:06:19,110 --> 00:06:21,610
any reason... That you should have
nothing to do with them.

98
00:06:22,030 --> 00:06:23,030
I know.

99
00:06:23,430 --> 00:06:27,270
Honey, when we're in the city and
someone comes up to me and asks me for

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00:06:27,370 --> 00:06:28,370
what do I do?

101
00:06:28,530 --> 00:06:29,530
You keep walking.

102
00:06:30,030 --> 00:06:31,650
Right. And Dad gives him money.

103
00:06:33,750 --> 00:06:38,930
What? We can talk about this later, Ben.
The point is, well, you're still a

104
00:06:38,930 --> 00:06:43,330
young boy, and if somebody asks you for
something, you're just too young to

105
00:06:43,330 --> 00:06:45,950
decide for yourself whether they're
needy or dangerous.

106
00:06:46,850 --> 00:06:48,770
But she didn't ask me for anything.

107
00:06:49,570 --> 00:06:50,610
Well, how did you meet her?

108
00:06:50,890 --> 00:06:52,050
I jumped on her head.

109
00:06:54,370 --> 00:06:58,290
What? Well, as I was getting into the
dumpster... Ben, what was she doing in

110
00:06:58,290 --> 00:07:01,130
dumpster? Waiting for the pizza place to
throw out a pizza.

111
00:07:01,750 --> 00:07:02,810
Oh, dear.

112
00:07:03,690 --> 00:07:06,910
You know that guy at the pizza place
with the funny mole on his forehead with

113
00:07:06,910 --> 00:07:07,910
the hair growing out of it?

114
00:07:09,390 --> 00:07:12,870
Yeah, well, he came out and told us he
was calling the cops. And since it was

115
00:07:12,870 --> 00:07:17,090
snowing and she didn't have anything to
eat or any place to stay, I invited her

116
00:07:17,090 --> 00:07:18,090
to come here.

117
00:07:18,710 --> 00:07:20,350
That's what you guys would have done,
right?

118
00:07:20,830 --> 00:07:25,010
Well, I don't know. She may be one of
us.

119
00:07:33,320 --> 00:07:34,259
The John?

120
00:07:34,260 --> 00:07:35,560
We don't have one.

121
00:07:36,660 --> 00:07:39,440
Uh, no, it's down the hall to your left.

122
00:07:45,140 --> 00:07:47,960
How could you let her use our bathroom?

123
00:07:48,860 --> 00:07:50,400
Hey, I never use that bathroom.

124
00:07:52,500 --> 00:07:53,500
Where is she?

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00:07:54,020 --> 00:07:56,880
Uh, she didn't like the way Carol
smelled, so she left.

126
00:07:57,680 --> 00:07:58,680
She's in the bath.

127
00:07:59,320 --> 00:08:01,600
Oh, I better get some towels.

128
00:08:02,580 --> 00:08:05,660
Well, it seems as though Ben has
presented all of us with quite a

129
00:08:05,880 --> 00:08:08,220
Yeah, all right. So what's going to be
his punishment, Dad? Well, I'm not

130
00:08:08,220 --> 00:08:09,220
punishing him. What?

131
00:08:09,540 --> 00:08:12,080
And the girl will be staying for dinner
and spending the night.

132
00:08:12,440 --> 00:08:13,440
What?

133
00:08:13,640 --> 00:08:15,840
Oh, come on, Dad. Grow up.

134
00:08:17,680 --> 00:08:21,240
Hey, Dad, there's a real fine line
between being nice and stupid.

135
00:08:21,800 --> 00:08:23,460
Where do you two get these kind of
ideas?

136
00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:25,240
Where's the disinfectant?

137
00:08:26,880 --> 00:08:30,960
Maggie. Yes? Would you explain to Carol
and Mike how you feel about all this?

138
00:08:31,370 --> 00:08:36,150
Oh, well, I agree with your dad that we
should share our dinner with this girl.

139
00:08:36,370 --> 00:08:37,470
And let her spend the night.

140
00:08:37,710 --> 00:08:38,870
Oh, come on, Jason.

141
00:08:39,070 --> 00:08:40,070
Grow up.

142
00:08:41,710 --> 00:08:42,710
Hello.

143
00:08:43,070 --> 00:08:46,550
We haven't officially met. I'm Jason.
This is Maggie.

144
00:08:47,230 --> 00:08:49,410
Carol and Mike, this is Ben's brother
and sister.

145
00:08:50,730 --> 00:08:51,730
Who's Ben?

146
00:08:51,970 --> 00:08:53,470
Ben's the kid you met in the dumpster.

147
00:08:54,110 --> 00:08:55,110
Our son.

148
00:08:55,890 --> 00:08:56,890
And you are?

149
00:08:57,530 --> 00:08:58,530
Nancy Reagan.

150
00:09:00,650 --> 00:09:03,550
Well, Nancy, nice to finally meet you in
person.

151
00:09:05,810 --> 00:09:07,010
Meet you in person.

152
00:09:08,910 --> 00:09:09,910
Well, okay.

153
00:09:10,610 --> 00:09:14,590
You know, there's just enough time
before dinner for a nice hot shower.

154
00:09:15,530 --> 00:09:16,530
So go ahead.

155
00:09:27,190 --> 00:09:30,410
I have something for you to put on
after. to your shower, Mrs. Reagan.

156
00:09:33,070 --> 00:09:34,890
I'll just slip your clothes into the
washer.

157
00:09:36,110 --> 00:09:39,730
Um, I don't want to put you out or
nothing. Oh, no, no. It's my pleasure.

158
00:09:40,050 --> 00:09:44,250
I mean, how much trouble could it be to
rinse out a couple of, you know... Oh,

159
00:09:44,270 --> 00:09:45,610
thanks.

160
00:09:47,490 --> 00:09:51,050
Oh, I hope my washer has a yuck cycle.

161
00:09:53,310 --> 00:09:57,530
Rudolph the Red -Nosed Reindeer.

162
00:09:59,080 --> 00:10:02,240
Had a very shiny life.

163
00:10:09,720 --> 00:10:10,720
Honey,

164
00:10:19,840 --> 00:10:20,659
can I come in?

165
00:10:20,660 --> 00:10:21,700
Oh, please do.

166
00:10:22,100 --> 00:10:24,300
I bribed the kids to set the table.

167
00:10:24,600 --> 00:10:25,840
Jason. Honey.

168
00:10:29,230 --> 00:10:30,230
Drive them again.

169
00:10:31,330 --> 00:10:32,430
What are you doing?

170
00:10:32,810 --> 00:10:34,590
Oh, Jason, this belongs to her.

171
00:10:35,770 --> 00:10:36,770
Oh, boy.

172
00:10:37,190 --> 00:10:40,750
Honey, I think charity is wonderful,
too, and you're a dear, sweet man, but

173
00:10:40,750 --> 00:10:43,130
couldn't we help someone who doesn't
pack a big sticker?

174
00:10:43,450 --> 00:10:45,110
Calm down.

175
00:10:45,370 --> 00:10:46,289
Don't get excited.

176
00:10:46,290 --> 00:10:49,130
That's easy for you to say. You're
trained to deal with disturbed people.

177
00:10:49,130 --> 00:10:50,470
you don't know that this kid is
disturbed.

178
00:10:50,970 --> 00:10:55,450
Jason, don't you think the fact... that
she lives in filth and carries her own

179
00:10:55,450 --> 00:10:58,650
cutlery. It indicates a teensy -weensy
problem.

180
00:10:59,330 --> 00:11:02,830
Honey, I have an awful lot of experience
dealing with runaways down at the

181
00:11:02,830 --> 00:11:06,550
shelter. I know. Well, I know that
they're lonely and they're desperate.

182
00:11:06,710 --> 00:11:07,589
They're frightened.

183
00:11:07,590 --> 00:11:08,590
Me too.

184
00:11:08,650 --> 00:11:10,390
All right, then let me talk to her.

185
00:11:12,110 --> 00:11:15,470
Trust me. I can promise you one thing.
She won't get the knife back. And if I

186
00:11:15,470 --> 00:11:17,050
sense any danger, I'll call the
authorities.

187
00:11:18,010 --> 00:11:19,010
Okay.

188
00:11:19,820 --> 00:11:24,080
You see, I do know how to handle
disturbed people. Oh, don't lose your

189
00:11:28,660 --> 00:11:31,620
Feel better?

190
00:11:33,380 --> 00:11:34,380
Cleaner.

191
00:11:35,860 --> 00:11:37,080
Hey, that's my blade!

192
00:11:37,360 --> 00:11:39,880
Well, we would prefer that our guests
were unarmed.

193
00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:43,000
Fine. Give me the knife and I'll split.

194
00:11:43,880 --> 00:11:44,880
Can we talk?

195
00:11:46,220 --> 00:11:47,260
Just let me leave.

196
00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:49,000
Sit down.

197
00:11:50,119 --> 00:11:53,800
Why? Well, because I have a bit of a
problem with the idea of you wandering

198
00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:55,880
streets cold and hungry on Christmas
Eve.

199
00:11:56,120 --> 00:11:57,120
So, you're a Democrat.

200
00:11:59,080 --> 00:12:00,880
You want to talk, or should I call the
authorities?

201
00:12:01,360 --> 00:12:02,360
Republican.

202
00:12:02,880 --> 00:12:03,880
Sid.

203
00:12:05,040 --> 00:12:08,680
If you're thinking of calling the
juvies, I got better things to do than

204
00:12:08,680 --> 00:12:09,720
to some stupid shrink.

205
00:12:13,220 --> 00:12:15,020
Well, then, this isn't your day.

206
00:12:15,980 --> 00:12:16,980
What do you mean?

207
00:12:18,280 --> 00:12:19,480
I'm a stupid shrink.

208
00:12:21,780 --> 00:12:22,780
Oh, boy.

209
00:12:23,380 --> 00:12:26,700
Out of all the dumpsters in the world,
your kid had to fall into mine.

210
00:12:28,320 --> 00:12:31,640
Well, I don't see any Secret Service
people around, so I'm going to assume

211
00:12:31,640 --> 00:12:33,020
you're not really Nancy Reagan.

212
00:12:33,360 --> 00:12:34,460
I say, you are good.

213
00:12:36,880 --> 00:12:37,880
Why did you run away?

214
00:12:39,160 --> 00:12:40,660
I didn't like the new TV season.

215
00:12:44,010 --> 00:12:47,450
Well, if everybody who hated TV did
that, we wouldn't have an empty dumpster

216
00:12:47,450 --> 00:12:48,450
between here and Denver.

217
00:12:50,750 --> 00:12:52,110
Why did you really leave home?

218
00:12:53,950 --> 00:12:55,430
Because nobody wanted me there.

219
00:12:55,850 --> 00:12:57,070
Your parents told you that?

220
00:12:57,930 --> 00:12:59,850
Look, Doc, let me save you some time.

221
00:13:00,570 --> 00:13:03,790
Nobody hit me, nobody touched me, nobody
did anything.

222
00:13:04,050 --> 00:13:05,170
Nobody gave a damn.

223
00:13:05,670 --> 00:13:06,670
You sure?

224
00:13:07,510 --> 00:13:09,290
Look, who cares? I don't anymore.

225
00:13:10,270 --> 00:13:11,410
I don't believe you.

226
00:13:15,080 --> 00:13:18,400
So if you want to use our phone, you
don't have to tell them where you're

227
00:13:18,400 --> 00:13:22,320
calling from. Just make a call and let
them know you're still alive, okay?

228
00:13:26,220 --> 00:13:27,220
Okay.

229
00:13:27,580 --> 00:13:28,960
You're going to call the heat now,
aren't you?

230
00:13:29,640 --> 00:13:30,539
That figures.

231
00:13:30,540 --> 00:13:31,540
That just figures.

232
00:13:32,460 --> 00:13:33,780
No, I'm not going to call anybody.

233
00:13:34,600 --> 00:13:36,120
You see, you're wrong about me.

234
00:13:37,000 --> 00:13:40,200
And if you could be wrong about me, you
should consider the possibility you

235
00:13:40,200 --> 00:13:41,760
might be wrong about your folks, too.

236
00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:50,100
And for your information, in the last
three elections, I voted independent.

237
00:13:57,280 --> 00:13:58,280
Mom,

238
00:14:02,240 --> 00:14:03,920
mom, could you turn that down a little
bit?

239
00:14:04,160 --> 00:14:07,540
Wait, wait, you're asking me to turn the
stereo down?

240
00:14:08,160 --> 00:14:11,920
Yeah, I know it's a first, but come on,
I'm getting full of a lot of death here.

241
00:14:13,310 --> 00:14:15,750
No problem, Mike. I'll just put on the
Beach Boys Christmas album.

242
00:14:16,470 --> 00:14:17,970
No, no, this is fine.

243
00:14:20,370 --> 00:14:23,430
Oh, Ben, don't you... Save it, Mom.

244
00:14:23,670 --> 00:14:25,930
This suit has weenie written all over
it.

245
00:14:31,010 --> 00:14:32,250
Hey, Ben, where's the kid?

246
00:14:32,830 --> 00:14:34,890
Carol's dressing her in some dippy
outfit.

247
00:14:35,870 --> 00:14:38,910
Yeah, well, I know. She's not sitting
next to me when I'm trying to eat.

248
00:14:39,320 --> 00:14:40,940
Make way for Big Pig.

249
00:14:41,820 --> 00:14:43,860
And this is the last of it.

250
00:14:44,220 --> 00:14:45,900
Hey, Mom, you should have heard what Dad
just called you.

251
00:14:50,100 --> 00:14:52,840
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Aren't we missing
Carol and our guest?

252
00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:55,020
Why, I swear.

253
00:14:55,260 --> 00:14:57,440
You guys are not going to believe this.

254
00:14:59,860 --> 00:15:00,860
Oh,

255
00:15:01,800 --> 00:15:02,800
don't you?

256
00:15:03,560 --> 00:15:06,200
Wonderful, Jason. Doesn't she look
beautiful?

257
00:15:07,580 --> 00:15:09,000
She doesn't look dippy at all.

258
00:15:09,880 --> 00:15:12,080
I'm sorry. Was that you I kicked, Ben?

259
00:15:13,080 --> 00:15:14,780
Why don't you sit next to Ben?

260
00:15:16,420 --> 00:15:18,080
You even smell good.

261
00:15:18,760 --> 00:15:21,580
I hardly miss the dumpster.

262
00:15:23,200 --> 00:15:27,460
On that festive note, I would like to
remind you all of the great fever family

263
00:15:27,460 --> 00:15:32,720
tradition where we go around the table
and everyone tells everybody else.

264
00:15:33,100 --> 00:15:36,600
why they're so thankful for this. Dad,
we do this every year. Well, if you'd

265
00:15:36,600 --> 00:15:39,540
rather just forget about it, you're out
of luck, okay?

266
00:15:41,300 --> 00:15:43,040
All right, now, Ben, you start.

267
00:15:43,480 --> 00:15:44,480
Come on, Ben.

268
00:15:44,700 --> 00:15:45,820
Let's go, Ben. All right.

269
00:15:46,360 --> 00:15:49,460
I'm thankful that I got taller this year
and Mike didn't.

270
00:15:50,840 --> 00:15:51,579
That's it?

271
00:15:51,580 --> 00:15:54,620
Oh, yeah, and I'm thankful there wasn't
too much damage from the goofy glue

272
00:15:54,620 --> 00:15:55,620
incident.

273
00:15:57,500 --> 00:15:59,160
Could happen to anyone.

274
00:16:02,710 --> 00:16:03,830
Carol. Okay.

275
00:16:04,590 --> 00:16:08,130
Well, I'm glad that I got straight A's
for the seventh year in a row.

276
00:16:11,010 --> 00:16:15,830
And I'm also pretty pleased that Bobby
Wynette finally called me after three

277
00:16:15,830 --> 00:16:16,830
weeks.

278
00:16:18,930 --> 00:16:22,370
Oh, and I'm very happy that my whole
family is healthy.

279
00:16:22,690 --> 00:16:24,070
Oh, honey, that's funny.

280
00:16:25,170 --> 00:16:26,490
At least physically.

281
00:16:40,460 --> 00:16:41,620
Where to begin?

282
00:16:43,280 --> 00:16:48,640
Um, no, okay, I'm thankful for my car,
even though upkeep and routine

283
00:16:48,640 --> 00:16:51,780
maintenance has gone through the roof
lately, which can't drain a teenager's

284
00:16:51,780 --> 00:16:54,860
part -time job and come virtually wiping
out any... Mike!

285
00:16:56,400 --> 00:16:57,400
You there?

286
00:16:57,600 --> 00:16:58,600
Never mind.

287
00:16:59,620 --> 00:17:00,720
All right, you're up, Maggie.

288
00:17:01,400 --> 00:17:02,400
Okay,

289
00:17:02,680 --> 00:17:03,680
my mom.

290
00:17:04,420 --> 00:17:06,579
Okay, well, let's see.

291
00:17:08,020 --> 00:17:09,240
I'm thankful...

292
00:17:09,480 --> 00:17:10,480
For my kids.

293
00:17:13,260 --> 00:17:14,359
And my career.

294
00:17:15,119 --> 00:17:21,000
And I owe it all to the smartest,
sexiest guy in the whole U .S. of A.

295
00:17:21,480 --> 00:17:22,579
I'm just kidding.

296
00:17:24,619 --> 00:17:26,440
No, honey, I'm serious.

297
00:17:27,540 --> 00:17:28,740
Oh, brother.

298
00:17:30,280 --> 00:17:31,820
All right, it's my turn.

299
00:17:32,060 --> 00:17:33,580
Could take us in the new year.

300
00:17:34,420 --> 00:17:36,160
Well, I'm mad thankful.

301
00:17:36,700 --> 00:17:40,260
that the Seavers made it through yet
another year without any major

302
00:17:40,480 --> 00:17:42,220
with the exception of the Goofy Glue
incident.

303
00:17:42,660 --> 00:17:47,380
And I'm thankful that our lives are so
full of shut -up, Mike, joy.

304
00:17:49,260 --> 00:17:53,000
And I'm thankful that we have a guest in
our home this year who will go back out

305
00:17:53,000 --> 00:17:57,200
into the world and tell the people that
the Seavers' worst crime is that we're a

306
00:17:57,200 --> 00:17:58,200
little corny.

307
00:18:00,600 --> 00:18:02,180
Well, let's eat.

308
00:18:02,560 --> 00:18:03,560
Yes.

309
00:18:05,870 --> 00:18:07,210
Tell us what she's thankful for.

310
00:18:09,170 --> 00:18:10,970
I got nothing to say.

311
00:18:11,750 --> 00:18:12,549
That's okay.

312
00:18:12,550 --> 00:18:15,830
No, no, no. I think that if we're
supposed to treat her like a member of

313
00:18:15,830 --> 00:18:19,130
family, that she should suffer the same
humiliation we do, right? Let's just

314
00:18:19,130 --> 00:18:22,410
forget about it and just... But, Dad,
you said she... Ow!

315
00:18:22,670 --> 00:18:24,610
All right, who kicked me this time?

316
00:18:28,770 --> 00:18:29,770
Oh, okay, okay.

317
00:18:31,090 --> 00:18:34,510
Uh... Ben?

318
00:18:36,080 --> 00:18:37,540
thankful that you fished me out of the
garbage.

319
00:18:38,340 --> 00:18:41,420
And, uh, Mrs. Thiever, thank you for
washing my clothes.

320
00:18:42,300 --> 00:18:46,780
And Carol, thank you for lending me your
outfit, and I'm thankful that I'm not

321
00:18:46,780 --> 00:18:47,920
freezing to death in the snow.

322
00:18:49,380 --> 00:18:50,440
For one day, at least.

323
00:18:58,120 --> 00:19:02,320
Gee, that's all that. The goofy glue
incident seems pretty silly.

324
00:19:35,010 --> 00:19:37,210
Don't stop for the table.

325
00:19:42,330 --> 00:19:46,730
Jason, do you realize this is the first
year that the kids are actually going to

326
00:19:46,730 --> 00:19:48,390
be surprised on Christmas morning?

327
00:19:48,610 --> 00:19:50,150
Well, the attic was a stroke of genius.

328
00:19:50,430 --> 00:19:51,610
I'm glad I thought of it.

329
00:19:53,910 --> 00:19:56,690
Honey, does it ever occur to you that we
just have too much?

330
00:19:57,190 --> 00:19:59,490
Yep, we sure are lucky.

331
00:19:59,870 --> 00:20:01,330
I mean, look at all of this.

332
00:20:01,650 --> 00:20:04,190
To Carol from us, to Ben from us.

333
00:20:04,820 --> 00:20:06,040
To us from Ben.

334
00:20:06,300 --> 00:20:08,840
Oh, to Carol from Mike?

335
00:20:09,400 --> 00:20:12,540
To Mike from Mike?

336
00:20:15,520 --> 00:20:18,380
Look at this. To Nancy Reagan from
Carol.

337
00:20:19,040 --> 00:20:21,580
To Nancy from Ben. Honey, look at these.

338
00:20:22,160 --> 00:20:23,400
I don't have to.

339
00:20:24,100 --> 00:20:25,860
This is to Nancy from Mike.

340
00:20:26,640 --> 00:20:28,200
Well, they didn't have time to shop.

341
00:20:28,680 --> 00:20:29,680
Can you believe this?

342
00:20:31,899 --> 00:20:34,760
Either our kids are learning something
about Christmas or we're learning

343
00:20:34,760 --> 00:20:35,820
something about our kids.

344
00:20:44,600 --> 00:20:45,640
Who asked them?

345
00:20:46,500 --> 00:20:47,880
Who the hell asked them?

346
00:21:05,900 --> 00:21:06,799
What is it? What's wrong?

347
00:21:06,800 --> 00:21:07,800
What is it? Look!

348
00:21:08,080 --> 00:21:09,080
Oh, no.

349
00:21:09,400 --> 00:21:10,580
She took everything.

350
00:21:10,900 --> 00:21:12,720
Even my socks and underwear.

351
00:21:14,580 --> 00:21:17,640
All right, just tell me this. Had you
brought the good presents down from the

352
00:21:17,640 --> 00:21:18,640
attic yet?

353
00:21:22,620 --> 00:21:24,760
Mike, this is no time to be thinking of
yourself.

354
00:21:25,160 --> 00:21:28,900
Well, yesterday was a time for that
before Mr. Goofy Glue here brought his

355
00:21:28,900 --> 00:21:30,340
friend the cat burglar home.

356
00:21:30,680 --> 00:21:31,680
What a ripple.

357
00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:34,640
Boy, are we suckers. Michael, just stop
it.

358
00:21:34,860 --> 00:21:39,170
What? I can't believe it. I mean, I was
talking to her. I thought I was getting

359
00:21:39,170 --> 00:21:40,170
somewhere with her.

360
00:21:40,310 --> 00:21:43,510
Yeah, now she's getting somewhere with
our Christmas. I'm going after her.

361
00:21:43,710 --> 00:21:44,349
Me too.

362
00:21:44,350 --> 00:21:45,950
And you aren't going to find anything.

363
00:21:46,810 --> 00:21:47,810
Wow.

364
00:21:49,050 --> 00:21:50,930
What do you know, Jason?

365
00:21:51,490 --> 00:21:52,930
She couldn't go through with it.

366
00:21:53,710 --> 00:21:56,150
She stopped. I mean, she was home free.

367
00:21:56,670 --> 00:21:57,870
Maybe she was scared.

368
00:21:58,350 --> 00:21:59,350
Or sorry.

369
00:21:59,690 --> 00:22:00,690
Or nice.

370
00:22:01,730 --> 00:22:05,230
Or maybe she was just as affected by us
as we were by her.

371
00:22:38,640 --> 00:22:39,640
Hi, Daddy.

372
00:22:40,760 --> 00:22:41,760
It's Denise.

373
00:22:43,340 --> 00:22:45,020
Yeah, it's really me.