1
00:00:20,171 --> 00:00:21,994
Calvin.
2
00:00:22,093 --> 00:00:23,553
Calvin.
3
00:00:29,418 --> 00:00:31,970
I was watching that.
4
00:00:33,428 --> 00:00:34,457
Do you hear that?
5
00:00:34,556 --> 00:00:35,549
Hear what?
6
00:00:35,583 --> 00:00:37,240
I think I hear the baby crying.
7
00:00:37,339 --> 00:00:39,726
The baby in the house next door?
8
00:00:39,825 --> 00:00:42,577
Yes. What if Daphne is crying?
9
00:00:42,709 --> 00:00:44,773
You know, Marty and Courtney,
they don't know what to do.
10
00:00:44,797 --> 00:00:46,852
They're new
parents. Okay, babe,
11
00:00:46,952 --> 00:00:48,510
look, they'll figure it out.
12
00:00:48,609 --> 00:00:51,891
I know you loved having that
baby over here the first night,
13
00:00:51,990 --> 00:00:54,807
but her place is
with her parents.
14
00:00:56,066 --> 00:00:58,884
Come on now. Come
on. Okay, fine.
15
00:00:58,983 --> 00:01:00,573
I know I'm not crazy.
16
00:01:00,574 --> 00:01:02,464
I know I heard the baby crying.
17
00:01:02,596 --> 00:01:05,513
You ain't heard nothing crying
from all the way over here.
18
00:01:14,991 --> 00:01:17,477
Where did you
leave her pacifier?
19
00:01:17,478 --> 00:01:19,533
Shh. I don't want
to wake Malcolm up.
20
00:01:21,721 --> 00:01:24,307
Oh, good, you're already up.
21
00:01:24,406 --> 00:01:26,494
Technically, I am still up.
22
00:01:26,593 --> 00:01:27,952
I never fell asleep.
23
00:01:28,050 --> 00:01:29,708
Is something on
your mind, Malcolm?
24
00:01:32,028 --> 00:01:35,044
Yeah, I'm-I'm-I'm-I'm
concerned about plastic straws.
25
00:01:35,045 --> 00:01:36,735
Oh, they're making
them out of pasta now.
26
00:01:36,835 --> 00:01:39,089
I don't give a damn
about them straws.
27
00:01:40,049 --> 00:01:42,601
Look, it is impossible to
get any sleep around here.
28
00:01:42,701 --> 00:01:45,121
No offense. I love my niece,
29
00:01:45,122 --> 00:01:47,276
but she has got
our mama's lungs.
30
00:01:52,777 --> 00:01:55,362
You not even gonna
wipe that off?
31
00:01:56,324 --> 00:01:57,682
Why?
32
00:02:00,533 --> 00:02:02,355
Hey, Marty, how about you trade
33
00:02:02,356 --> 00:02:03,913
and let Malcolm sleep out here?
34
00:02:04,045 --> 00:02:06,112
I'm sure it's quieter than
being next door to Daphne.
35
00:02:06,201 --> 00:02:09,350
I can hear everything
through those thin walls.
36
00:02:09,449 --> 00:02:11,636
Daphne crying, Courtney pumping,
37
00:02:11,736 --> 00:02:13,360
Marty crying.
38
00:02:13,459 --> 00:02:15,547
I'm just so tired.
39
00:02:23,370 --> 00:02:24,595
Where you going?
40
00:02:24,596 --> 00:02:27,578
I just remembered. I
need some kumquats.
41
00:02:28,971 --> 00:02:30,993
Nobody "needs" kumquats,
42
00:02:31,092 --> 00:02:32,882
especially not at
2:00 in the morning.
43
00:02:34,538 --> 00:02:36,163
I got a craving for
kumquat marmalade.
44
00:02:36,263 --> 00:02:38,815
Are you gonna tell me that
I don't need marmalade?
45
00:02:39,577 --> 00:02:41,442
Babe, this is literally
the first time in my life
46
00:02:41,466 --> 00:02:43,554
I ever heard you say
the word "marmalade."
47
00:02:44,913 --> 00:02:46,737
And you only going
to that kumquat tree
48
00:02:46,836 --> 00:02:49,090
because it's next to
Marty's kitchen window.
49
00:02:49,189 --> 00:02:50,880
You're spying.
50
00:02:50,979 --> 00:02:52,305
Okay, well, I'm
going over there.
51
00:02:52,438 --> 00:02:53,805
Don't you go over there.
I'm going over there.
52
00:02:53,829 --> 00:02:55,452
Don't you go over there.
53
00:02:57,044 --> 00:02:58,800
She going over there.
54
00:03:00,026 --> 00:03:02,093
♪ Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ♪
55
00:03:02,148 --> 00:03:03,607
♪ Welcome to the hood. ♪
56
00:03:17,860 --> 00:03:21,703
What's up, party people?
57
00:03:22,533 --> 00:03:25,019
Let's freakin' go.
58
00:03:25,847 --> 00:03:27,835
I haven't slept in two days.
59
00:03:27,935 --> 00:03:31,349
There is no party, and I'm
not freakin' going anywhere.
60
00:03:31,448 --> 00:03:33,570
Uh-oh. Baby?
61
00:03:33,669 --> 00:03:36,717
Baby. Up crying half the night.
62
00:03:36,718 --> 00:03:38,144
Hey, man, I'm exhausted, too,
63
00:03:38,276 --> 00:03:39,635
and you don't hear
me complaining.
64
00:03:39,734 --> 00:03:43,180
Well, you don't get to
complain. It's your baby.
65
00:03:44,075 --> 00:03:45,502
You know, if you want,
66
00:03:45,503 --> 00:03:47,954
I could come over and handle
the overnight feedings,
67
00:03:48,053 --> 00:03:49,679
and then give her
some breakfast,
68
00:03:49,777 --> 00:03:51,996
have a quick bath,
take her for a walk,
69
00:03:51,997 --> 00:03:53,920
have some lunch, a
nap, and then, uh,
70
00:03:54,019 --> 00:03:55,677
have her back in
time for dinner.
71
00:03:55,810 --> 00:03:58,660
Mama, we really appreciate
everything that you've done,
72
00:03:58,792 --> 00:04:00,317
but we got it.
73
00:04:00,450 --> 00:04:03,232
Anyway, I hate to run,
but I have got a date
74
00:04:03,233 --> 00:04:04,725
with a little lady who
75
00:04:04,726 --> 00:04:06,648
wants to throw up in my mouth.
76
00:04:09,929 --> 00:04:13,409
I am so tired, and I
have a midterm tomorrow.
77
00:04:13,509 --> 00:04:15,631
You know what?
78
00:04:15,730 --> 00:04:17,585
I'm-a get a room at
the Marengo Suites.
79
00:04:17,684 --> 00:04:18,514
Hmm.
80
00:04:18,613 --> 00:04:20,304
That's smart thinking,
81
00:04:20,305 --> 00:04:22,788
'cause nobody is getting
any sleep around here
82
00:04:22,789 --> 00:04:24,546
until that baby gets some sleep.
83
00:04:24,645 --> 00:04:26,337
Wait, Gemma.
84
00:04:26,469 --> 00:04:27,925
I have a solution.
85
00:04:27,926 --> 00:04:31,009
The magic blue chair.
The magic blue chair.
86
00:04:31,109 --> 00:04:33,164
Let's freakin' go.
87
00:04:33,992 --> 00:04:36,014
Uh, what-what's the
magic blue chair?
88
00:04:36,114 --> 00:04:38,103
Oh, it's this super
snuggly vibrating chair
89
00:04:38,202 --> 00:04:39,594
that no baby can resist.
90
00:04:39,694 --> 00:04:41,184
Sounds great. Where is it?
91
00:04:41,185 --> 00:04:44,498
Ooh, it's in my attic.
Calvin... I'm telling you,
92
00:04:44,499 --> 00:04:48,112
Grover used to sleep 21
hours a day in this thing.
93
00:04:49,404 --> 00:04:53,018
Hearing that out loud,
that probably wasn't good.
94
00:04:53,150 --> 00:04:55,238
Let's freakin' go.
95
00:04:56,597 --> 00:04:57,591
You know what?
96
00:04:57,657 --> 00:04:59,050
Y'all go ahead.
97
00:05:03,789 --> 00:05:04,917
Found it.
98
00:05:05,016 --> 00:05:06,704
Ooh. Maybe before
we give it to them,
99
00:05:06,705 --> 00:05:10,351
we should peel the 14-year-old
Cheerios off it first.
100
00:05:12,242 --> 00:05:13,303
Hey, Gem, look at this.
101
00:05:13,402 --> 00:05:15,522
It's a bunch of
old lists I made.
102
00:05:15,622 --> 00:05:17,642
"Rockin' Band Names."
103
00:05:17,642 --> 00:05:19,830
"Top Ten Dogs."
104
00:05:19,831 --> 00:05:23,345
Ooh. "Things to Do
Before I'm 40." Huh.
105
00:05:23,477 --> 00:05:25,168
"Ride a camel."
106
00:05:25,267 --> 00:05:27,422
"Scale the Sears Tower."
107
00:05:28,581 --> 00:05:30,968
Man, I haven't done
any of these things.
108
00:05:31,067 --> 00:05:33,387
"Meet Mr. T."
109
00:05:33,388 --> 00:05:35,775
"Franchise a Boston Market."
110
00:05:36,602 --> 00:05:39,917
"Learn Japanese 'the hard way.'"
111
00:05:40,015 --> 00:05:41,707
What does that even mean?
112
00:05:41,806 --> 00:05:43,297
Well, I don't remember.
113
00:05:44,391 --> 00:05:46,215
But I haven't done it.
114
00:05:46,347 --> 00:05:49,162
I mean, I haven't done
any of these things.
115
00:05:49,163 --> 00:05:51,384
"Party like a rock star."
116
00:05:51,517 --> 00:05:53,573
"See five geysers."
117
00:05:53,673 --> 00:05:56,092
Come on, how many
geysers are there?
118
00:05:56,191 --> 00:05:58,014
Gemma, this is awful.
119
00:05:58,147 --> 00:05:59,504
I'm over 40,
120
00:05:59,604 --> 00:06:01,991
and what have I
accomplished? Nothing.
121
00:06:02,125 --> 00:06:05,735
Hello, you have a
wife and a child.
122
00:06:05,736 --> 00:06:08,421
Come on, everyone
has those, big whoop.
123
00:06:11,040 --> 00:06:13,723
Okay. Okay, wait,
look at number 11.
124
00:06:13,857 --> 00:06:16,376
"Leave Kalamazoo, move to
a big city." You did that.
125
00:06:16,475 --> 00:06:19,889
Yeah, because you got
this great job here.
126
00:06:20,719 --> 00:06:22,509
Slept my way into that.
127
00:06:29,071 --> 00:06:30,960
Yes, hello, room service.
128
00:06:31,059 --> 00:06:34,473
Do I need to have a child
to order off the kids' menu?
129
00:06:36,361 --> 00:06:37,523
I understand.
130
00:06:38,251 --> 00:06:41,366
Then my son will be
having the dino nuggets,
131
00:06:41,367 --> 00:06:44,814
the mac and cheese,
and your finest IPA.
132
00:06:53,830 --> 00:06:54,989
What the hell?
133
00:06:55,089 --> 00:06:56,912
Did you go and steal that baby?
134
00:06:58,867 --> 00:07:01,817
What? No. I'm not crazy.
135
00:07:01,916 --> 00:07:04,271
I just hid a baby monitor
in a stuffed animal
136
00:07:04,370 --> 00:07:06,126
in Daphne's nursery.
137
00:07:08,015 --> 00:07:10,070
Now I can be sure to hear
if my baby needs help.
138
00:07:10,169 --> 00:07:12,390
Tina, you the one
that need help.
139
00:07:13,750 --> 00:07:15,208
Shh, shh, shh, shh.
140
00:07:15,308 --> 00:07:17,494
You hear that?
She needs to burp.
141
00:07:17,495 --> 00:07:21,174
Okay, you know what?
This has gone too far.
142
00:07:21,273 --> 00:07:23,758
Do you realize that you
are already over there,
143
00:07:23,759 --> 00:07:25,152
all day every day?
144
00:07:25,251 --> 00:07:27,836
And now I don't have to be.
145
00:07:27,968 --> 00:07:30,653
Burp. There it is. I told you.
146
00:07:30,752 --> 00:07:33,205
That's it. That's it.
147
00:07:33,305 --> 00:07:34,762
I'm not gonna be a part of this.
148
00:07:34,896 --> 00:07:36,388
Well, where you
going? I don't know,
149
00:07:36,487 --> 00:07:38,011
but you need to
be stormed out on.
150
00:07:44,309 --> 00:07:47,424
Set my alarm for 8:00 a.m.
151
00:07:47,523 --> 00:07:48,916
Mm-hmm.
152
00:07:50,638 --> 00:07:52,496
Before I forget...
153
00:07:52,628 --> 00:07:54,252
Mm.
154
00:07:55,246 --> 00:07:57,632
Oh, God, no.
155
00:07:59,687 --> 00:08:02,007
Your mother is driving me crazy.
156
00:08:02,107 --> 00:08:04,029
You know... Ooh.
This a good idea.
157
00:08:04,030 --> 00:08:05,985
I do not want to be disturbed.
158
00:08:08,073 --> 00:08:09,663
What side the bed you want?
159
00:08:16,690 --> 00:08:20,900
Mm. Parking lot
view, but it'll do.
160
00:08:22,259 --> 00:08:25,540
Yes, it'll do, for me. Pop,
look, why are you here?
161
00:08:25,640 --> 00:08:28,556
You know I love
your mama, right?
162
00:08:28,689 --> 00:08:31,076
But I need me some alone time.
163
00:08:32,533 --> 00:08:34,855
Ooh, uh, you gonna finish
these dino nuggets?
164
00:08:34,954 --> 00:08:36,876
I was planning to.
165
00:08:36,976 --> 00:08:38,069
Never mind.
166
00:08:38,169 --> 00:08:39,560
You got honey mustard.
167
00:08:39,659 --> 00:08:42,776
I raised you better than
that. We ketchup people.
168
00:08:44,466 --> 00:08:48,244
Now, this bed does look comfy.
I haven't slept in days.
169
00:08:48,378 --> 00:08:49,503
Man. Ooh.
170
00:08:49,504 --> 00:08:51,724
Oh.
171
00:08:52,984 --> 00:08:55,371
Th-This is my bed, Pop.
172
00:08:55,502 --> 00:08:57,558
We in a hotel, man.
You can get your own.
173
00:08:57,691 --> 00:08:59,945
And pay for two rooms?
174
00:09:00,044 --> 00:09:01,668
Boy, I raised you
better than that now.
175
00:09:03,259 --> 00:09:04,982
Listen, if that's room service,
176
00:09:05,081 --> 00:09:07,634
see if they got some ketchup
for the dino nuggets.
177
00:09:07,734 --> 00:09:09,988
Get your own ketchup, man.
178
00:09:10,750 --> 00:09:12,805
Oh, good, Malcolm,
it's you. Oh, my God.
179
00:09:12,938 --> 00:09:14,097
Ugh.
180
00:09:14,195 --> 00:09:15,921
All right. I found him!
181
00:09:16,020 --> 00:09:17,147
Yeah, sorry about all that.
182
00:09:17,245 --> 00:09:19,501
Lovely meeting all of you.
183
00:09:22,383 --> 00:09:23,675
Why are you here?
184
00:09:23,676 --> 00:09:26,195
Aw, man. I forgot to
turn off my ringer.
185
00:09:26,327 --> 00:09:28,581
Then I got a Scrabble alert,
and that woke up the baby.
186
00:09:28,681 --> 00:09:30,315
She started screaming, then
Courtney started screaming,
187
00:09:30,338 --> 00:09:32,260
then she said, "I'm
counting to three."
188
00:09:32,360 --> 00:09:33,454
I was in the car by two.
189
00:09:33,554 --> 00:09:35,673
Boy, that is a good
move, 'cause trust me,
190
00:09:35,807 --> 00:09:37,795
you do not want to see three.
191
00:09:37,895 --> 00:09:39,984
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
192
00:09:40,083 --> 00:09:41,739
This ain't your room.
193
00:09:42,602 --> 00:09:45,386
Uh, Pop, this ain't your room.
194
00:09:46,844 --> 00:09:48,337
But I'm already in the bed.
195
00:09:53,705 --> 00:09:55,561
Hey, Courtney. Hey.
196
00:09:55,695 --> 00:09:56,754
Yeah, some of your mail
197
00:09:56,854 --> 00:09:58,112
was accidentally
delivered to my house.
198
00:09:58,113 --> 00:09:59,548
I just wanted to
make sure you got it.
199
00:09:59,573 --> 00:10:01,825
It's addressed to
"current resident."
200
00:10:01,958 --> 00:10:03,781
Yeah, that's you.
201
00:10:03,881 --> 00:10:07,129
Oh, my little gumdrop.
202
00:10:07,229 --> 00:10:09,580
Are you sure she should
be moving that fast?
203
00:10:09,581 --> 00:10:12,266
Oh, she's fine. You
know, studies show
204
00:10:12,365 --> 00:10:14,256
a consistent lateral
gliding motion
205
00:10:14,388 --> 00:10:17,038
increases the number of
sleep-related brain oscillators,
206
00:10:17,039 --> 00:10:19,261
and you stopped
listening, didn't you?
207
00:10:19,392 --> 00:10:20,518
You know, I'm just gonna, uh,
208
00:10:20,618 --> 00:10:22,309
turn this thing
down to "slow."
209
00:10:22,408 --> 00:10:23,843
Well, that's not slow,
that's unplugged.
210
00:10:23,866 --> 00:10:24,859
Yeah, that works, too.
211
00:10:25,987 --> 00:10:28,109
Oh, I know. I know.
212
00:10:28,110 --> 00:10:30,330
Yes, your mama Tina
213
00:10:30,463 --> 00:10:33,545
just saved you from
that terrible machine.
214
00:10:33,644 --> 00:10:35,234
Oh, yes,
215
00:10:35,235 --> 00:10:36,825
she did.
216
00:10:39,544 --> 00:10:42,295
Malcolm, hey, before I hop in,
217
00:10:42,429 --> 00:10:43,654
are you taking the shower cap?
218
00:10:43,754 --> 00:10:45,775
The one you're wearing, Marty?
219
00:10:45,875 --> 00:10:47,134
No, you can keep it.
220
00:10:48,659 --> 00:10:51,509
God, does anybody know what
"do not disturb" means?
221
00:10:52,371 --> 00:10:54,691
Okay. Good, you're all here.
222
00:10:54,790 --> 00:10:56,051
You can ignore the group text.
223
00:10:56,149 --> 00:10:57,542
Uh, we did. I already did.
224
00:10:57,673 --> 00:10:58,934
I blocked you. I blocked you.
225
00:10:58,935 --> 00:11:00,457
All right, now, I need
you to be honest with me.
226
00:11:00,458 --> 00:11:02,778
This is not helpful
if you're not honest.
227
00:11:04,038 --> 00:11:05,695
Have I wasted my life?
228
00:11:05,795 --> 00:11:07,485
Wasted?
229
00:11:07,584 --> 00:11:09,738
Dave, you have a wife and child.
230
00:11:09,838 --> 00:11:11,760
Gosh, you sound just like Gemma.
231
00:11:11,894 --> 00:11:13,120
Look. Look at this.
232
00:11:13,219 --> 00:11:15,838
I made this list 20 years ago.
233
00:11:15,937 --> 00:11:17,560
All of my life goals.
234
00:11:17,660 --> 00:11:19,582
Oh, damn, he's about to read it.
235
00:11:22,168 --> 00:11:23,692
I am 42 years old,
236
00:11:23,825 --> 00:11:25,647
and I have only
seen two geysers,
237
00:11:25,648 --> 00:11:28,731
one of which was Old Faithful,
and that's just a gimme.
238
00:11:29,593 --> 00:11:31,216
Well, Dave, you
know what they say.
239
00:11:31,315 --> 00:11:33,239
You can't compare
yourself to people
240
00:11:33,338 --> 00:11:35,956
who've seen more
geysers than you.
241
00:11:36,056 --> 00:11:36,918
Oh.
242
00:11:37,017 --> 00:11:40,033
If only it was just the geysers.
243
00:11:40,896 --> 00:11:42,319
I've never ridden in a sidecar,
244
00:11:42,419 --> 00:11:44,242
I never got my Frasier
reboot off the ground
245
00:11:44,341 --> 00:11:47,855
and I have never once
partied like a rock star.
246
00:11:49,346 --> 00:11:51,003
I think they did
a Frasier reboot.
247
00:11:51,004 --> 00:11:52,960
I know,
248
00:11:53,059 --> 00:11:54,618
and it was magnificent.
249
00:11:54,717 --> 00:11:55,710
All right, you know what?
250
00:11:55,744 --> 00:11:57,036
Dave, calm down,
251
00:11:57,169 --> 00:11:59,025
you're bringing down the
vibe in my hotel room.
252
00:11:59,124 --> 00:12:00,449
It is not
253
00:12:00,549 --> 00:12:02,140
your hotel room.
254
00:12:02,239 --> 00:12:03,831
Wait a minute.
255
00:12:03,964 --> 00:12:05,356
What do you got in
that mini fridge?
256
00:12:05,455 --> 00:12:06,848
Ain't no ketchup.
257
00:12:09,001 --> 00:12:10,128
Okay, all right.
258
00:12:10,261 --> 00:12:12,912
Two Amstel Lights and
a mini chardonnay.
259
00:12:13,012 --> 00:12:15,265
Tonight, I'm partying
like a rock star.
260
00:12:15,364 --> 00:12:17,288
This hotel room is
getting trashed.
261
00:12:17,387 --> 00:12:18,713
Oh. Okay, okay.
262
00:12:18,845 --> 00:12:20,403
Uh, they have my
credit card on file.
263
00:12:20,503 --> 00:12:21,794
Let's not get crazy, Dave.
264
00:12:21,895 --> 00:12:24,480
That's exactly what
we are going to do.
265
00:12:24,579 --> 00:12:25,804
Get crazy.
266
00:12:25,805 --> 00:12:28,855
Marty, crank the clock
radio to Jack FM.
267
00:12:31,174 --> 00:12:32,733
I'm not gonna do that.
268
00:12:33,463 --> 00:12:34,953
Okay, fine. One of you guys
269
00:12:35,086 --> 00:12:36,877
pop that chardonnay.
270
00:12:38,267 --> 00:12:40,156
I'm gonna throw the
TV out the window.
271
00:12:41,283 --> 00:12:42,277
Again, again,
272
00:12:42,411 --> 00:12:43,638
my card is on file.
273
00:12:43,737 --> 00:12:45,759
It's about to get
lit in here, man.
274
00:12:45,858 --> 00:12:47,681
We're doing this thing right!
275
00:12:50,862 --> 00:12:53,581
It's really... They screwed
it all the way into the wall.
276
00:12:53,681 --> 00:12:55,171
All right, okay, look, look.
277
00:12:55,273 --> 00:12:57,070
If we're really gonna turn
this thing into a party,
278
00:12:57,094 --> 00:12:58,321
let's just get some glasses,
279
00:12:58,420 --> 00:12:59,812
we'll get the ice filled up,
280
00:12:59,945 --> 00:13:01,436
let's get the thing
rolling, okay?
281
00:13:01,437 --> 00:13:02,729
Hoo-hoo-hoo!
282
00:13:02,828 --> 00:13:04,717
This tiny chardonnay
must be really good
283
00:13:04,718 --> 00:13:06,608
because it is $30.
284
00:13:07,535 --> 00:13:08,794
Okay, all right.
285
00:13:08,893 --> 00:13:10,187
I'm going to my car.
286
00:13:10,188 --> 00:13:11,777
I'm getting my Scattergories.
287
00:13:11,909 --> 00:13:13,733
Uh, no, no, no. You know what?
288
00:13:13,831 --> 00:13:15,556
You go to your car and leave.
289
00:13:15,655 --> 00:13:16,814
All of you, right now.
290
00:13:16,815 --> 00:13:18,373
You know what? That's
right, Malcolm.
291
00:13:18,473 --> 00:13:20,296
Everybody get on out
of here. Go, now.
292
00:13:20,395 --> 00:13:21,687
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
293
00:13:21,821 --> 00:13:23,378
You, too, Pop.
294
00:13:23,477 --> 00:13:25,333
Everybody got to
go. Right now. Out.
295
00:13:25,433 --> 00:13:27,355
Me? Yeah, you.
296
00:13:27,454 --> 00:13:29,311
Ain't no ketchup in here, man.
297
00:13:36,801 --> 00:13:39,188
COURTNEY Hey, Marty, I'm
sorry I snapped at you before.
298
00:13:39,321 --> 00:13:40,414
Ooh, you'd better be.
299
00:13:40,514 --> 00:13:42,402
You were way out of line.
300
00:13:42,403 --> 00:13:44,027
I just lost it.
301
00:13:44,955 --> 00:13:46,612
Yeah, giving my
son the countdown.
302
00:13:46,711 --> 00:13:47,904
That's my move.
303
00:13:47,905 --> 00:13:49,794
You know, I got to admit,
304
00:13:49,893 --> 00:13:51,485
I'm so tired, I
don't even remember
305
00:13:51,583 --> 00:13:53,043
what we were fighting about.
306
00:13:53,142 --> 00:13:55,031
Well, anyway, your
mother stopped by.
307
00:13:55,131 --> 00:13:57,120
She's so sweet. Aw.
308
00:13:57,219 --> 00:13:58,910
But, boy, she can be a lot.
309
00:14:00,998 --> 00:14:02,853
What?
310
00:14:02,952 --> 00:14:04,686
She came up with excuses
just to show up here
311
00:14:04,710 --> 00:14:05,870
five times today.
312
00:14:05,969 --> 00:14:09,613
Uh... Oh...
313
00:14:09,614 --> 00:14:11,304
To take that baby out of that
314
00:14:11,404 --> 00:14:14,354
oscillating death
saucer? My bad.
315
00:14:15,714 --> 00:14:17,568
Okay, now that's my mother
you're talking about.
316
00:14:17,569 --> 00:14:18,961
That's right, you
tell her, Marty.
317
00:14:19,062 --> 00:14:20,968
And if I know my mother,
she definitely came here
318
00:14:21,083 --> 00:14:22,939
more than five times.
319
00:14:24,166 --> 00:14:27,877
I mean, that woman is incapable
of staying in her lane.
320
00:14:27,977 --> 00:14:30,561
Watch your mouth, Marty.
321
00:14:32,750 --> 00:14:34,538
I've been a little
scared to handle Daphne
322
00:14:34,672 --> 00:14:36,758
alone in my apartment, but...
323
00:14:36,759 --> 00:14:38,782
I think it's time.
324
00:14:40,075 --> 00:14:41,467
Your apartment?
325
00:14:41,565 --> 00:14:44,912
Well... But that's all
the way across town. No.
326
00:14:44,913 --> 00:14:47,134
That's out of my range.
327
00:14:49,819 --> 00:14:51,741
Gemma, I'm telling you,
328
00:14:51,841 --> 00:14:54,559
David Lee Roth couldn't
get that TV off the wall.
329
00:14:54,659 --> 00:14:56,548
Dave, listen to yourself.
330
00:14:56,681 --> 00:14:58,802
And I'm not talking
about now David Lee Roth,
331
00:14:58,900 --> 00:15:01,254
I'm talking about "Hot for
Teacher" David Lee Roth.
332
00:15:04,137 --> 00:15:05,429
Dave, stop.
333
00:15:05,430 --> 00:15:07,850
Why did you even want
all these things?
334
00:15:07,983 --> 00:15:09,141
I don't know.
335
00:15:09,274 --> 00:15:10,568
Look, I was young,
336
00:15:10,667 --> 00:15:12,423
and everything seemed possible.
337
00:15:12,523 --> 00:15:14,147
And now it's too late.
338
00:15:14,279 --> 00:15:15,937
Too late? For what?
339
00:15:16,036 --> 00:15:17,196
The kid who wrote this list
340
00:15:17,197 --> 00:15:18,655
thought 40 was old.
341
00:15:18,755 --> 00:15:20,743
But it's not. You're
just beginning.
342
00:15:20,843 --> 00:15:22,069
Come on.
343
00:15:22,201 --> 00:15:24,388
Think about where
Marty and Courtney are.
344
00:15:24,522 --> 00:15:26,013
With a newborn?
345
00:15:26,113 --> 00:15:29,228
Their next 13, 14
years, they're screwed.
346
00:15:30,851 --> 00:15:32,277
But Grover's in eighth grade.
347
00:15:32,278 --> 00:15:34,167
He went to the mall
tonight with some friends,
348
00:15:34,266 --> 00:15:35,577
then they're
sleeping at Dexter's.
349
00:15:35,658 --> 00:15:37,281
We are going to be freer
350
00:15:37,282 --> 00:15:39,171
than we've been
in years. Okay.
351
00:15:39,271 --> 00:15:41,127
To do what?
352
00:15:41,259 --> 00:15:42,354
Anything we want.
353
00:15:42,453 --> 00:15:44,409
I mean, we can start
being stupid again.
354
00:15:44,509 --> 00:15:45,635
Let's just pick one
355
00:15:45,735 --> 00:15:47,058
and set it for this weekend.
356
00:15:47,059 --> 00:15:50,276
Number eight, swimming
with sharks, boom.
357
00:15:52,496 --> 00:15:53,688
Really?
358
00:15:53,689 --> 00:15:56,241
They do shark-diving
trips off Catalina.
359
00:15:57,500 --> 00:15:58,959
Okay.
360
00:15:59,057 --> 00:16:00,617
Yeah.
361
00:16:00,716 --> 00:16:02,406
Yeah, we could do that.
362
00:16:02,506 --> 00:16:03,831
We could definitely do that.
363
00:16:03,930 --> 00:16:04,957
Although, you know, the
water is pretty cold
364
00:16:04,958 --> 00:16:06,317
this time of year. Yeah.
365
00:16:07,510 --> 00:16:09,232
Okay, number nine, then.
366
00:16:09,233 --> 00:16:11,157
Run with the bulls in Pamplona.
367
00:16:11,256 --> 00:16:13,310
We've been saving for a
trip, we could do that.
368
00:16:13,409 --> 00:16:14,801
Yeah. When I wrote this list,
369
00:16:14,900 --> 00:16:17,288
I didn't know how mean
they were to the bulls.
370
00:16:17,387 --> 00:16:19,112
Number ten.
371
00:16:19,243 --> 00:16:21,165
Eat every part of a cow.
372
00:16:21,166 --> 00:16:23,089
Yes, I can do that.
373
00:16:23,221 --> 00:16:24,711
I mean, over time.
Not in one sitting.
374
00:16:24,811 --> 00:16:25,837
No, of course not.
375
00:16:25,838 --> 00:16:27,364
How about this weekend,
376
00:16:27,464 --> 00:16:28,855
we go out for burgers?
377
00:16:28,954 --> 00:16:30,710
And not just any burgers. No?
378
00:16:30,809 --> 00:16:32,170
Smash burgers. Ooh.
379
00:16:32,302 --> 00:16:34,126
Number ten, I'm coming for you.
380
00:16:34,225 --> 00:16:36,015
Mark-mark... mark it off.
381
00:16:36,147 --> 00:16:38,732
Who knows, maybe
we'll even see Mr. T.
382
00:16:38,830 --> 00:16:41,450
Come on, Mr. T!
383
00:16:44,300 --> 00:16:45,461
Hey, babe. I'm back.
384
00:16:45,594 --> 00:16:47,051
You were gone?
385
00:16:47,847 --> 00:16:50,165
See, that's exactly it.
386
00:16:50,166 --> 00:16:52,388
You're so obsessed
with that baby monitor,
387
00:16:52,520 --> 00:16:54,774
you didn't even
notice I was gone.
388
00:16:54,874 --> 00:16:56,498
How could I notice?
389
00:16:56,597 --> 00:16:58,851
Daphne's moving back
to Courtney's place.
390
00:16:58,951 --> 00:17:00,376
Who told you that?
391
00:17:00,475 --> 00:17:01,868
Marty and Courtney.
392
00:17:02,695 --> 00:17:04,353
Well, what did you say?
393
00:17:04,452 --> 00:17:07,800
Well, they didn't
tell me personally.
394
00:17:07,899 --> 00:17:09,888
I heard it on the baby monitor.
395
00:17:13,004 --> 00:17:14,560
You know that's
messed up, right?
396
00:17:14,660 --> 00:17:16,185
No, no, no. You know
what's messed up?
397
00:17:16,186 --> 00:17:18,506
They said that I was a lot.
398
00:17:20,030 --> 00:17:21,787
Well, you definitely
not a little.
399
00:17:22,650 --> 00:17:24,139
Whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa.
400
00:17:24,140 --> 00:17:25,631
You agree with them?
401
00:17:25,632 --> 00:17:28,780
Okay. Say what you got to say.
402
00:17:28,781 --> 00:17:30,868
Okay, here's the thing, Tina.
403
00:17:30,968 --> 00:17:32,558
Your feelings
wouldn't even be hurt
404
00:17:32,659 --> 00:17:34,447
if you weren't listening in
405
00:17:34,448 --> 00:17:36,602
to other people's
private conversations.
406
00:17:36,703 --> 00:17:38,491
Marty and Courtney are
not "other people."
407
00:17:38,625 --> 00:17:40,651
And they don't know what
they're doing with my baby.
408
00:17:40,713 --> 00:17:42,204
Okay.
409
00:17:42,303 --> 00:17:44,127
And, see, that's
the other thing.
410
00:17:44,226 --> 00:17:45,917
She is not your baby.
411
00:17:46,017 --> 00:17:48,168
You know who you're
starting to sound like?
412
00:17:48,169 --> 00:17:49,728
Don't you say it.
I'm gonna say it.
413
00:17:49,861 --> 00:17:51,649
Don't you say it.
I'm gonna say it.
414
00:17:51,650 --> 00:17:52,986
Don't you say it.
I've got to say it.
415
00:17:53,010 --> 00:17:53,838
My mother!
416
00:17:53,937 --> 00:17:55,893
Damn it, you said it.
417
00:17:56,026 --> 00:17:57,584
I had to say it, Tina.
418
00:17:57,683 --> 00:17:59,373
It had to be said.
419
00:18:00,567 --> 00:18:03,251
You remember when my mama
used to re-diaper Malcolm?
420
00:18:03,351 --> 00:18:04,212
Huh?
421
00:18:04,312 --> 00:18:05,670
It made you mad, didn't it?
422
00:18:05,804 --> 00:18:06,930
No.
423
00:18:07,825 --> 00:18:09,879
It was helpful.
424
00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:11,305
Tina...
425
00:18:11,404 --> 00:18:12,299
I hated it.
426
00:18:12,398 --> 00:18:13,690
You know,
427
00:18:13,691 --> 00:18:15,449
I had just made
the perfect diaper,
428
00:18:15,549 --> 00:18:18,993
and she was always saying,
"Oh, that's too loose, Tina.
429
00:18:18,994 --> 00:18:20,849
"Oh, that's not
enough powder, Tina.
430
00:18:20,850 --> 00:18:24,132
Oh, that's not a diaper,
Tina. That's a washcloth."
431
00:18:24,231 --> 00:18:27,147
I mean, it happened one time.
432
00:18:27,247 --> 00:18:28,938
I was exhausted!
433
00:18:29,668 --> 00:18:33,212
Well, you're doing the
same thing to Courtney.
434
00:18:35,003 --> 00:18:36,925
You're right.
435
00:18:36,926 --> 00:18:39,810
What? Ooh, uh...
436
00:18:39,942 --> 00:18:41,400
I need to get that on my phone.
437
00:18:41,401 --> 00:18:42,958
You-you said I'm right.
438
00:18:43,057 --> 00:18:44,726
Say it again, one more
time, say I'm right.
439
00:18:44,814 --> 00:18:46,669
Just repeat right here
440
00:18:46,670 --> 00:18:47,864
into the camera. I'm right.
441
00:18:47,963 --> 00:18:49,785
Say it. "I'm right."
442
00:18:49,886 --> 00:18:51,177
Say...
443
00:18:51,178 --> 00:18:53,300
Would your mama say it again?
444
00:18:57,972 --> 00:18:59,200
Your sugar must be low.
445
00:18:59,299 --> 00:19:00,890
I'm gonna get you a cookie.
446
00:19:03,640 --> 00:19:06,060
So, tonight, you're
sleeping at Mommy's,
447
00:19:06,160 --> 00:19:08,413
but Daddy will see
you tomorrow morning.
448
00:19:09,740 --> 00:19:11,264
Hello?
449
00:19:11,363 --> 00:19:12,424
Mom?
450
00:19:12,557 --> 00:19:14,081
Since when do you knock?
451
00:19:14,180 --> 00:19:17,925
People can change. I
respect your privacy.
452
00:19:18,820 --> 00:19:20,046
Okay.
453
00:19:20,147 --> 00:19:21,705
We need to tell you something.
454
00:19:21,804 --> 00:19:24,190
Ooh, before you do, I just
wanted to let you know
455
00:19:24,289 --> 00:19:25,880
that I do realize,
at some point,
456
00:19:25,980 --> 00:19:28,267
you're going to want to take
Daphne back to your place.
457
00:19:28,366 --> 00:19:29,493
Well... Um...
458
00:19:29,592 --> 00:19:30,819
And that's okay.
459
00:19:30,919 --> 00:19:32,243
That's okay. I just
wanted to let you know
460
00:19:32,244 --> 00:19:33,669
that when you do come back here,
461
00:19:33,768 --> 00:19:36,785
I promise to work on
462
00:19:36,917 --> 00:19:38,509
staying out of your space,
463
00:19:38,608 --> 00:19:40,828
'cause I know I can be a lot.
464
00:19:43,513 --> 00:19:45,238
You? What? That's crazy.
465
00:19:45,337 --> 00:19:46,761
Who said that?
466
00:19:46,860 --> 00:19:48,917
But I will always be there
467
00:19:49,016 --> 00:19:50,572
for you two and Daphne,
468
00:19:50,671 --> 00:19:52,197
whenever you need me.
469
00:19:52,330 --> 00:19:53,855
But only when you need me.
470
00:19:53,987 --> 00:19:56,539
So don't be scared to
say when you need me,
471
00:19:56,672 --> 00:19:57,907
because when you need
me... Okay, Mommy? Mommy.
472
00:19:57,931 --> 00:19:59,754
I need you to stop.
473
00:19:59,854 --> 00:20:01,511
But thank you, Mrs. B.
474
00:20:01,610 --> 00:20:03,698
I will definitely need you.
475
00:20:03,798 --> 00:20:06,151
Courtney, you're a good mom.
476
00:20:06,250 --> 00:20:07,443
Really?
477
00:20:07,576 --> 00:20:08,538
No...
478
00:20:08,539 --> 00:20:10,427
No, I know that you are,
479
00:20:10,526 --> 00:20:11,952
I just didn't
think that she did.
480
00:20:12,847 --> 00:20:15,597
Well, I will leave you to it.
481
00:20:15,696 --> 00:20:18,282
I just want to take
this adorable cow
482
00:20:18,381 --> 00:20:21,696
as a keepsake for
my baby Daphne.
483
00:20:21,795 --> 00:20:23,751
Okay, bye, y'all. See you later.
484
00:20:26,933 --> 00:20:28,060
It's almost like she heard
485
00:20:28,159 --> 00:20:29,560
what we were talking
about last night.
486
00:20:29,584 --> 00:20:31,142
That cow was definitely
wearing a wire.
487
00:20:31,971 --> 00:20:33,926
I swear, that bear's eye
488
00:20:34,026 --> 00:20:35,418
looks like a camera lens.
489
00:20:35,516 --> 00:20:37,183
Yeah, I don't like the
look of this duck, either.
490
00:20:37,207 --> 00:20:38,399
Captioning sponsored by CBS
491
00:20:38,400 --> 00:20:39,826
and TOYOTA.
492
00:20:44,102 --> 00:20:47,515
Captioned by Media Access
Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org