1 00:00:00,508 --> 00:00:02,156 Okay. 2 00:00:03,574 --> 00:00:05,132 Screwdriver? 3 00:00:08,625 --> 00:00:09,867 Oh, no. 4 00:00:11,070 --> 00:00:12,795 Backup screwdriver. 5 00:00:13,453 --> 00:00:16,530 I come from a long line of handy men. 6 00:00:16,555 --> 00:00:18,383 My dad used to fix everything... 7 00:00:18,408 --> 00:00:20,576 lawnmowers, cars, our cat. 8 00:00:20,601 --> 00:00:22,492 So it made sense that I tackled the clothes dryer 9 00:00:22,516 --> 00:00:24,816 after the repair guy tried to rip me off. 10 00:00:24,884 --> 00:00:26,560 I'm not paying $350 11 00:00:26,585 --> 00:00:28,975 for a moisture sensor that costs $28. 12 00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:30,199 I'll fix it myself. 13 00:00:30,224 --> 00:00:31,665 It's a complicated job. 14 00:00:31,690 --> 00:00:33,836 - You know what I did back in Russia? - Yeah, yeah, I know. 15 00:00:33,860 --> 00:00:36,082 You were a doctor or a scientist. 16 00:00:36,107 --> 00:00:37,415 - I fixed dryers. - Oh. 17 00:00:37,517 --> 00:00:39,584 I've been doing this a long time is my point. 18 00:00:39,609 --> 00:00:42,593 Well, Yuri, Phil Dunphy is no pushover. 19 00:00:42,829 --> 00:00:45,126 I'm afraid it's a hard nyet. 20 00:00:48,665 --> 00:00:49,961 I guess these are clean enough. 21 00:00:49,986 --> 00:00:52,373 I'll have this thing running in no time, honey. 22 00:00:52,398 --> 00:00:54,016 I have an instructional video, 23 00:00:54,041 --> 00:00:56,878 and I'm labeling each part as I take it out. 24 00:00:56,903 --> 00:00:59,112 "Right-back corner. 25 00:00:59,137 --> 00:01:02,338 "Tiny elbow-y thingy. 26 00:01:02,409 --> 00:01:05,244 "My right. Dryer left." 27 00:01:05,269 --> 00:01:06,870 Can't you do this somewhere else? 28 00:01:06,895 --> 00:01:09,262 Right, the dryer's the one that needs to get its own place. 29 00:01:09,287 --> 00:01:11,831 Honey, you have to be up anyhow. We've got our cooking class. 30 00:01:11,856 --> 00:01:13,733 I want to get there early and grab a stove up front. 31 00:01:13,757 --> 00:01:15,378 Oh, my God, Mom. You and that chef. 32 00:01:15,403 --> 00:01:16,933 Keep it in your apron. 33 00:01:17,434 --> 00:01:19,734 Mom's obsessed with this TV chef Charles Dumont. 34 00:01:19,759 --> 00:01:21,456 She watches his show every day. 35 00:01:21,481 --> 00:01:23,581 Not sure she listens, though. 36 00:01:23,644 --> 00:01:24,909 A pinch of sugar, 37 00:01:24,934 --> 00:01:27,668 and your taste buds will surrender like the French. 38 00:01:27,903 --> 00:01:30,070 I'm sorry, that joke was a little fromage-y. 39 00:01:30,172 --> 00:01:31,901 - Did he say salt? - Sugar. 40 00:01:31,926 --> 00:01:34,078 Mmm! I'd love to give him some sugar. 41 00:01:34,103 --> 00:01:36,923 But I'm pretty sure he said salt here, baby. 42 00:01:36,948 --> 00:01:38,122 - Take taste. - Oh, no. Aah! 43 00:01:38,147 --> 00:01:39,431 - Mmm? - Hmm! Yeah. 44 00:01:39,456 --> 00:01:41,276 - Yeah? Yeah. - That's got something in it. 45 00:01:41,301 --> 00:01:43,060 - Oh, almost out of cookin' juice. - Mm-hmm. 46 00:01:43,085 --> 00:01:45,686 All right, the next step is very important. 47 00:01:45,711 --> 00:01:46,909 You sure you don't want to pause it? 48 00:01:46,933 --> 00:01:48,323 Oh, no, I'm good. 49 00:01:48,831 --> 00:01:50,224 - We got to fix this. - Mm-hmm 50 00:01:50,249 --> 00:01:51,831 We can't tell her how bad her food is 51 00:01:51,856 --> 00:01:53,671 because that would destroy her. 52 00:01:53,696 --> 00:01:56,081 So when I found out Chef Dumont was coming to town, 53 00:01:56,106 --> 00:01:58,974 I signed us up for his class, so he could do it. 54 00:02:01,972 --> 00:02:03,105 - Whoa! - I know. 55 00:02:03,130 --> 00:02:04,607 Pretty intense, huh? 56 00:02:04,632 --> 00:02:06,940 Now I just grab the sensor 57 00:02:07,042 --> 00:02:09,620 and put it... 58 00:02:09,667 --> 00:02:11,276 Oh, a little linty. 59 00:02:12,396 --> 00:02:14,558 I probably should have emptied... 60 00:02:15,785 --> 00:02:17,284 Aah! Are the parts okay? 61 00:02:17,386 --> 00:02:19,286 - Yeah, they're fine. - Oh, thank God. 62 00:02:19,388 --> 00:02:20,654 I don't know... Ow! 63 00:02:22,000 --> 00:02:28,074 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today 64 00:02:29,769 --> 00:02:34,246 Synced and corrected by Aaronnmb www.addic7ed.com 65 00:02:36,711 --> 00:02:38,655 All right, Joe. Fire it in here, buddy. 66 00:02:38,680 --> 00:02:40,206 Ooh! Yes! 67 00:02:40,231 --> 00:02:42,023 Good. Now I don't have to tell another son 68 00:02:42,048 --> 00:02:43,758 that some boys have different gifts. 69 00:02:43,783 --> 00:02:45,082 Good job there, slugger. 70 00:02:45,107 --> 00:02:47,238 What the hell's going on here, Gloria? 71 00:02:47,263 --> 00:02:49,741 I feel like I died. I'm watching my family as a ghost. 72 00:02:49,766 --> 00:02:51,101 Don't be silly. If that happened, 73 00:02:51,142 --> 00:02:53,240 I would have changed all this furniture. 74 00:02:53,265 --> 00:02:55,617 I hired Coach Gary. 75 00:02:55,642 --> 00:02:57,914 He's gonna teach Joe how to throw. 76 00:02:57,939 --> 00:03:00,617 Joe is the worst in his team. 77 00:03:00,642 --> 00:03:02,475 I hear you! 78 00:03:02,500 --> 00:03:04,222 Your son's in good hands, Jay. 79 00:03:04,247 --> 00:03:06,726 I led my team to the championship last year. 80 00:03:06,751 --> 00:03:09,459 We weren't supposed to keep score, but I did in my head. 81 00:03:09,484 --> 00:03:10,545 This is crazy. 82 00:03:10,570 --> 00:03:13,039 A kid's supposed to learn this stuff from his dad... 83 00:03:13,064 --> 00:03:15,197 baseball, how to drive a car, 84 00:03:15,222 --> 00:03:16,586 how to fight a guy from Jersey. 85 00:03:16,611 --> 00:03:17,744 If you think you took his knife... 86 00:03:17,768 --> 00:03:19,164 He's got another one. 87 00:03:19,337 --> 00:03:21,547 Joe learned to throw by copying Jay, 88 00:03:21,572 --> 00:03:24,789 but Jay throws all crazy because of his bad shoulder. 89 00:03:25,086 --> 00:03:26,734 Like this, buddy. 90 00:03:27,618 --> 00:03:29,241 Son of a...! 91 00:03:31,019 --> 00:03:32,752 Son of a...! 92 00:03:33,827 --> 00:03:35,623 It's the same reason Joe whistles 93 00:03:35,648 --> 00:03:38,082 "Sentimental Journey" when he pees. 94 00:03:38,569 --> 00:03:40,054 You seem like a nice guy and all, 95 00:03:40,079 --> 00:03:41,436 but, uh, I got this. 96 00:03:41,482 --> 00:03:44,006 Hey, no sweat. Coach Gary gets it. 97 00:03:44,597 --> 00:03:47,006 Hey, uh, don't forget your ball. 98 00:03:51,373 --> 00:03:52,873 It's okay, Jay. 99 00:03:52,898 --> 00:03:55,990 Some boys have different gifts. 100 00:03:57,205 --> 00:03:58,772 Let me get the door. 101 00:03:58,797 --> 00:03:59,929 Okay, thank you. 102 00:04:02,093 --> 00:04:04,553 - Hi. Can I help you? - I'm here for Lily. 103 00:04:04,760 --> 00:04:06,553 I always knew this day would come. 104 00:04:06,578 --> 00:04:07,845 Probably not what she's here for. 105 00:04:07,869 --> 00:04:09,003 How do you know our daughter? 106 00:04:09,027 --> 00:04:11,107 I don't. She hired me for a cleaning job. 107 00:04:11,132 --> 00:04:12,192 - Oh. - What? 108 00:04:12,217 --> 00:04:13,373 Wow. Right on time. 109 00:04:13,398 --> 00:04:15,537 Wait, Lily, did you hire a cleaning lady? 110 00:04:15,562 --> 00:04:16,865 Yeah, with an app on your phone. 111 00:04:16,890 --> 00:04:18,708 Daddy said my room was a pig sty. 112 00:04:18,733 --> 00:04:20,748 Okay, we'll double back to that unnecessary 113 00:04:20,773 --> 00:04:22,318 and inaccurate slam on pigs, 114 00:04:22,343 --> 00:04:24,428 and I think daddy meant for you to clean your room. 115 00:04:24,453 --> 00:04:25,819 We can't have you cleaning our daughter's room. 116 00:04:25,843 --> 00:04:27,881 It just... it sends the wrong message. 117 00:04:28,015 --> 00:04:29,915 We get to review you guys, too, you know. 118 00:04:29,940 --> 00:04:32,397 Okay. Now go clean your room. 119 00:04:32,422 --> 00:04:34,872 It's not fair. You guys use apps for everything. 120 00:04:34,897 --> 00:04:36,272 No, we don't. 121 00:04:36,297 --> 00:04:37,319 Well... 122 00:04:37,344 --> 00:04:39,544 Okay, there's Uber for when we eat out... 123 00:04:39,589 --> 00:04:41,389 and Postmates for when we eat in. 124 00:04:41,476 --> 00:04:43,242 And TaskRabbit for stuff around the house. 125 00:04:43,267 --> 00:04:44,772 And Washio and ParkMe 126 00:04:44,797 --> 00:04:46,517 and the one where the guy comes over 127 00:04:46,542 --> 00:04:47,808 and builds a fire in your fireplace. 128 00:04:47,832 --> 00:04:49,832 Oh, LogBuddy. I love LogBuddy. 129 00:04:49,857 --> 00:04:51,842 We need to start leading by example. 130 00:04:51,867 --> 00:04:55,035 From now on, we're all gonna be a little more self-reliant. 131 00:04:55,060 --> 00:04:57,427 For starters, I'll build the fires. 132 00:04:57,452 --> 00:05:00,587 But the LogBuddy guy comes dressed as a lumberjack. 133 00:05:00,612 --> 00:05:02,980 I have a flannel shirt. 134 00:05:03,732 --> 00:05:04,799 Huh? 135 00:05:04,867 --> 00:05:06,054 Where are all the extra pieces? 136 00:05:06,078 --> 00:05:08,479 There aren't any. I used every last one. 137 00:05:08,504 --> 00:05:09,614 Did you throw them away? 138 00:05:09,639 --> 00:05:11,272 You can tell me. I won't be angry. 139 00:05:11,307 --> 00:05:12,827 I fixed the dryer, Claire, 140 00:05:12,852 --> 00:05:15,701 and you get to be here for the moment of truth. 141 00:05:16,065 --> 00:05:17,471 Pull the pin. 142 00:05:21,150 --> 00:05:22,696 It works. 143 00:05:22,721 --> 00:05:25,697 I had no idea you were so good with your hands. 144 00:05:25,738 --> 00:05:27,049 Very manly. 145 00:05:27,150 --> 00:05:29,713 I pinched my thumb with a pair of pliers earlier. 146 00:05:29,878 --> 00:05:30,954 Not a peep. 147 00:05:30,979 --> 00:05:32,746 Luke, Daddy and I need to go upstairs 148 00:05:32,771 --> 00:05:34,321 to discuss something in private. 149 00:05:34,346 --> 00:05:37,113 Just go. You're ruining sex for me. 150 00:05:40,151 --> 00:05:42,979 Oh, we just created some static in these sheets, huh? 151 00:05:43,004 --> 00:05:44,831 - That felt amazing. - Yeah. 152 00:05:44,856 --> 00:05:47,979 I got all up in that dryer and fixed the hell out of it. 153 00:05:49,461 --> 00:05:51,290 I feel capable of anything. 154 00:05:51,315 --> 00:05:53,135 - You know what? - Hmm? 155 00:05:53,632 --> 00:05:54,774 I'm gonna build it. 156 00:05:54,799 --> 00:05:56,299 - Dunphy Tower? - Dunphy Tower. 157 00:05:56,401 --> 00:05:57,433 Dunphy Tower... 158 00:05:57,535 --> 00:05:59,435 My first commercial real-estate development. 159 00:05:59,528 --> 00:06:01,144 I've been dreaming of building it since I was a kid, 160 00:06:01,168 --> 00:06:02,905 and now it's all happening. 161 00:06:03,111 --> 00:06:05,018 Well, minus the trampoline park on the roof 162 00:06:05,043 --> 00:06:06,976 and the tunnel to my best friend's house. 163 00:06:07,078 --> 00:06:09,445 I am still holding out hope for a fireman's pole 164 00:06:09,470 --> 00:06:11,758 that takes you to the parking garage. 165 00:06:11,783 --> 00:06:13,783 Well, if you're sure you're finally ready. 166 00:06:13,852 --> 00:06:15,662 Of course I am. I just fixed the dryer. 167 00:06:15,687 --> 00:06:17,120 Hmm. 168 00:06:17,222 --> 00:06:20,065 And it was the most satisfying thing I've ever done. 169 00:06:20,859 --> 00:06:23,393 I'll just get dressed, I guess. 170 00:06:28,554 --> 00:06:29,687 Ta-da! 171 00:06:29,712 --> 00:06:31,538 Phil, I know where we are. I drove. 172 00:06:31,563 --> 00:06:32,593 You know what this is, 173 00:06:32,618 --> 00:06:34,450 but I'm about to tell you what this could be. 174 00:06:34,475 --> 00:06:36,382 This is my least-favorite way of talking. 175 00:06:36,415 --> 00:06:39,130 You are standing on the site of the future... 176 00:06:39,155 --> 00:06:40,468 Dunphy Tower. 177 00:06:40,493 --> 00:06:42,286 A quarter acre of mixed-use space 178 00:06:42,355 --> 00:06:44,248 in a rapidly gentrifying neighborhood. 179 00:06:44,273 --> 00:06:46,078 Commercial real estate, huh? 180 00:06:46,172 --> 00:06:47,546 This is a departure for you. 181 00:06:47,571 --> 00:06:49,404 I thought about it down to the last detail. 182 00:06:49,493 --> 00:06:50,625 Imagine a happy worker 183 00:06:50,694 --> 00:06:52,533 coming down from their transit-friendly office 184 00:06:52,573 --> 00:06:54,625 for a fancy coffee beverage or yoga, 185 00:06:54,650 --> 00:06:56,322 and what's that over there? 186 00:06:56,752 --> 00:06:58,196 A doll's foot, I hope. 187 00:06:58,221 --> 00:06:59,854 A farm-to-table dog bakery. 188 00:06:59,879 --> 00:07:02,563 Ooh, Stella and I went to one of those in Solvang. 189 00:07:02,588 --> 00:07:05,156 She got a quiche. It looked so good, I almost split it with her. 190 00:07:05,258 --> 00:07:06,692 I don't want you to feel pressured to invest, 191 00:07:06,716 --> 00:07:08,170 but I want you to know this isn't a whim. 192 00:07:08,194 --> 00:07:09,681 I've been thinking about this a lot. 193 00:07:09,706 --> 00:07:11,162 What got you off the sidelines? 194 00:07:11,230 --> 00:07:14,181 This is gonna sound silly, but I fixed a dryer today. 195 00:07:14,206 --> 00:07:16,535 I took it all apart and swapped out the sensor. 196 00:07:16,560 --> 00:07:17,597 Get out of here. 197 00:07:17,632 --> 00:07:19,799 The guy wanted 350 bucks. I paid $28. 198 00:07:19,901 --> 00:07:21,134 Holy cow! 199 00:07:21,159 --> 00:07:23,397 How come we haven't been talking about this the whole time? 200 00:07:23,421 --> 00:07:25,254 Because I'm so excited about this project. 201 00:07:25,279 --> 00:07:27,229 I-I really think this could be a good investment. 202 00:07:27,254 --> 00:07:28,333 I don't want to hear any more. 203 00:07:28,357 --> 00:07:30,934 You're the most cautious guy I know when it comes to business. 204 00:07:30,959 --> 00:07:33,504 If you think this is a slam dunk, I'm in. 205 00:07:33,529 --> 00:07:34,579 Really? 206 00:07:34,604 --> 00:07:35,838 'Cause I have an offer ready to go. 207 00:07:35,862 --> 00:07:37,458 - You say the word, I hit "send." - Do it. 208 00:07:37,482 --> 00:07:39,378 I've been looking for investment opportunities. 209 00:07:39,403 --> 00:07:41,612 If you're confident, I'm confident. 210 00:07:43,257 --> 00:07:45,854 Because you know what I'd do to you if you blew my money. 211 00:07:51,399 --> 00:07:54,914 All right, you are about to get an important lesson 212 00:07:54,939 --> 00:07:56,873 on self-reliance, young lady. 213 00:07:56,975 --> 00:07:59,152 I know he's serious when he calls me "young lady." 214 00:07:59,177 --> 00:08:01,441 My dad did the same thing. Okay. 215 00:08:01,466 --> 00:08:03,846 Okay, no more doing chores with our phones. 216 00:08:03,871 --> 00:08:06,072 We are going to get our hands dirty. 217 00:08:06,140 --> 00:08:07,800 And, Mitchell, you're gonna start right here 218 00:08:07,824 --> 00:08:09,088 and manscape this. 219 00:08:09,113 --> 00:08:11,316 - Really? Okay. - And guess what you're gonna do? 220 00:08:11,341 --> 00:08:12,974 Can I be in charge of watering the cement 221 00:08:12,999 --> 00:08:14,398 - like the gardener? - Nope. 222 00:08:14,423 --> 00:08:16,222 You're gonna get down on your hands and knees 223 00:08:16,247 --> 00:08:17,313 and pick weeds. 224 00:08:17,338 --> 00:08:18,998 - Aw! - Aw! 225 00:08:19,023 --> 00:08:21,350 You... you know what I had to do when I was your age? 226 00:08:21,375 --> 00:08:24,666 I had to crawl through a cornfield and pick up rocks. 227 00:08:24,691 --> 00:08:26,670 That's right. I couldn't even have breakfast 228 00:08:26,695 --> 00:08:28,233 until I picked 100. 229 00:08:28,258 --> 00:08:30,569 I'd strap a flashlight to my head, 230 00:08:30,594 --> 00:08:32,117 and off I'd go. 231 00:08:32,142 --> 00:08:34,542 One rock, two rocks, 232 00:08:34,717 --> 00:08:36,036 three rocks. 233 00:08:36,061 --> 00:08:37,085 Oh, my God! 234 00:08:37,110 --> 00:08:39,663 - It's called dramatic tension. - It's called a beehive. 235 00:08:39,688 --> 00:08:40,719 - What?! - Right... right there. 236 00:08:40,743 --> 00:08:41,755 Yep. Mm-hmm. 237 00:08:41,780 --> 00:08:43,125 - Oh, Oh, no. It's worse. - Yeah, yeah. 238 00:08:43,149 --> 00:08:45,350 - Those are wasps. - Oh, I hate wasps! 239 00:08:45,375 --> 00:08:47,272 No, not you, Mr. Fletcher. The... 240 00:08:47,297 --> 00:08:48,730 Come on. 241 00:08:48,858 --> 00:08:50,040 Gloria? 242 00:08:50,108 --> 00:08:52,075 Phil got me to invest in a mini-mall, 243 00:08:52,100 --> 00:08:53,307 so you might want to dial back 244 00:08:53,332 --> 00:08:54,988 on the shoe purchases for a while. 245 00:08:55,013 --> 00:08:56,831 One second, one second. 246 00:08:57,018 --> 00:08:58,860 "Place order." 247 00:08:58,885 --> 00:09:00,330 What did you say, baby? 248 00:09:00,355 --> 00:09:01,776 - Drawer's fixed. - What the hell?! 249 00:09:01,801 --> 00:09:03,301 Don't sneak up on people like that. 250 00:09:03,326 --> 00:09:05,454 I'm liable to have knocked you out. 251 00:09:05,479 --> 00:09:07,861 - I doubt it. - I was gonna fix that, anyway. 252 00:09:07,886 --> 00:09:09,978 Ay. Like you were going to clean the gutter? 253 00:09:10,003 --> 00:09:11,570 Coach Gary did it already. 254 00:09:11,605 --> 00:09:13,041 It really wasn't a problem. 255 00:09:13,066 --> 00:09:14,784 I'm not afraid of heights, and... 256 00:09:14,809 --> 00:09:16,134 I've got big hands. 257 00:09:16,159 --> 00:09:18,065 Those are fun details. 258 00:09:18,603 --> 00:09:20,470 It's like the guy was trying to steal my life. 259 00:09:20,495 --> 00:09:22,215 I wish he'd shown up when I was married to Dede. 260 00:09:22,239 --> 00:09:23,791 I would have made him a key. 261 00:09:24,002 --> 00:09:25,496 Let me show you out, although you sound like 262 00:09:25,520 --> 00:09:27,151 you know the place pretty good already. 263 00:09:27,176 --> 00:09:28,635 Hey, Jay, I've got a date Friday night. 264 00:09:28,659 --> 00:09:29,885 - Can I borrow your car? - Sure, 265 00:09:29,909 --> 00:09:31,184 you can borrow your mother's car. 266 00:09:31,208 --> 00:09:33,291 - Who's the lucky girl? - Rachel Caputo. 267 00:09:33,316 --> 00:09:35,346 She and Manny work on the school paper together. 268 00:09:35,432 --> 00:09:37,266 Extra, extra, she's a cutie. 269 00:09:37,291 --> 00:09:38,333 Thanks for your help. 270 00:09:38,402 --> 00:09:40,822 Hey, I just played the ukulele. 271 00:09:40,846 --> 00:09:42,360 - You sang the song. - Yeah. 272 00:09:42,385 --> 00:09:44,581 - Coach Cupid! - All right, Gar. 273 00:09:44,606 --> 00:09:46,260 You don't want to miss that bus. 274 00:09:46,285 --> 00:09:47,798 Thanks again, Coach Gary. 275 00:09:47,823 --> 00:09:49,287 He's not even your coach. 276 00:09:49,312 --> 00:09:51,579 I need a scotch and a James Bond marathon. 277 00:09:51,604 --> 00:09:52,624 You may be out of luck. 278 00:09:52,692 --> 00:09:54,036 The TV wasn't working a minute ago. 279 00:09:54,060 --> 00:09:55,437 Sounds like the satellite dish. 280 00:09:55,462 --> 00:09:58,036 Big Hands probably messed it up poking around in my gutters. 281 00:09:58,061 --> 00:09:59,637 - Let me check it out. - No, no, no. 282 00:09:59,662 --> 00:10:01,195 That might be very dangerous. 283 00:10:01,264 --> 00:10:03,364 Let me go grab Coach Gary, and he can help you. 284 00:10:03,389 --> 00:10:04,409 I said I'd do it. 285 00:10:04,434 --> 00:10:05,700 Yeah, but I'm sure Coach Gary 286 00:10:05,725 --> 00:10:07,091 wouldn't mind sticking around. 287 00:10:07,116 --> 00:10:09,151 I'm getting that impression myself! 288 00:10:09,971 --> 00:10:11,518 Thank you all for coming. 289 00:10:11,543 --> 00:10:13,544 Who here wants to go to Paris right now? 290 00:10:13,569 --> 00:10:15,174 - Moi! - No. 291 00:10:15,199 --> 00:10:16,427 We're not getting on a plane. 292 00:10:16,472 --> 00:10:20,007 We'll be transported by these humble ingredients. 293 00:10:20,075 --> 00:10:21,626 How great is he? 294 00:10:21,651 --> 00:10:23,596 So great. Listen to everything he says. 295 00:10:23,621 --> 00:10:25,988 Look to your left. Look to your right. 296 00:10:26,013 --> 00:10:27,721 Before this class is through, 297 00:10:27,746 --> 00:10:30,784 all of you will know how to make herb-roasted chicken! 298 00:10:30,809 --> 00:10:32,409 Ohh! I know this recipe. 299 00:10:32,434 --> 00:10:35,035 - I could make this chicken in my sleep. - How about we try it awake? 300 00:10:35,059 --> 00:10:38,009 Let's start with the most important ingredient... thyme. 301 00:10:38,034 --> 00:10:40,201 That's right. It's time to chop thyme. 302 00:10:40,269 --> 00:10:42,901 - He's just like he is on TV. - Yeah. 303 00:10:42,926 --> 00:10:45,181 Thyme and chicken play together very well, 304 00:10:45,206 --> 00:10:47,345 unlike dogs and chickens. 305 00:10:47,370 --> 00:10:49,376 Tragic story... my rescue whippet and I 306 00:10:49,401 --> 00:10:50,993 live next to an urban farm and... 307 00:10:51,018 --> 00:10:53,798 Oh, my, do you mind if I use this as an example? 308 00:10:53,823 --> 00:10:55,986 Oh! Avec pleasure. 309 00:10:56,011 --> 00:10:58,190 See how she's chopped it... 310 00:10:58,215 --> 00:11:00,104 stems and all? 311 00:11:00,129 --> 00:11:01,461 That's wrong. 312 00:11:01,594 --> 00:11:04,060 Sloppiness like this can ruin a dish. 313 00:11:04,086 --> 00:11:05,735 Oh. I had no idea. 314 00:11:05,760 --> 00:11:07,620 I suppose when it comes to herbs, though, 315 00:11:07,645 --> 00:11:09,233 you're something of a sage. 316 00:11:09,258 --> 00:11:10,869 - That's clever. - Thank you. 317 00:11:10,894 --> 00:11:12,126 - You can't eat clever. - Oh. 318 00:11:17,349 --> 00:11:18,370 Freeze! Police! 319 00:11:18,395 --> 00:11:20,262 I'm a Realtor. I'm not a criminal. 320 00:11:20,287 --> 00:11:22,017 Oh, well, then you're not doing it right. 321 00:11:23,092 --> 00:11:24,093 Hey, Gil. 322 00:11:24,118 --> 00:11:25,393 If one of your clients is actually thinking 323 00:11:25,417 --> 00:11:27,403 about buying this minefield, 324 00:11:27,428 --> 00:11:29,626 that would be their second bad decision. 325 00:11:30,130 --> 00:11:31,797 - First was hiring you. - Yeah, I got it. 326 00:11:31,865 --> 00:11:34,104 You're not gonna push one of your clients into this swamp, are you? 327 00:11:34,128 --> 00:11:36,228 Maybe it just needs a developer with a little vision. 328 00:11:36,297 --> 00:11:37,814 Very little vision 329 00:11:37,839 --> 00:11:39,469 and no sense of smell. 330 00:11:39,494 --> 00:11:41,128 I mean, this neighborhood makes El Segundo 331 00:11:41,152 --> 00:11:42,238 seem like a Sephora. 332 00:11:42,263 --> 00:11:43,563 It's in transition. 333 00:11:43,665 --> 00:11:46,125 Yeah, it's turning into Fallujah. 334 00:11:46,150 --> 00:11:48,301 I'm out of here before I get jacked. 335 00:11:48,814 --> 00:11:50,813 - You gonna be around here for a while? - I might. 336 00:11:50,838 --> 00:11:53,128 Maybe you can score me some methadone. 337 00:11:56,478 --> 00:11:58,109 - Hey, Bob. - Good news, Phil. 338 00:11:58,134 --> 00:11:59,384 They accepted your offer. 339 00:11:59,409 --> 00:12:01,720 Without a counter? Maybe I came in too high. 340 00:12:01,745 --> 00:12:03,079 Whatever. They were really happy. 341 00:12:03,104 --> 00:12:04,503 Are... 342 00:12:04,528 --> 00:12:06,743 Hold on, Bob. It's my son. 343 00:12:07,040 --> 00:12:09,408 - Luke, what's up? - Dad? 344 00:12:09,433 --> 00:12:11,665 I think something's wrong with the dryer. 345 00:12:11,690 --> 00:12:13,256 But I-I fixed it. 346 00:12:13,281 --> 00:12:14,900 I fixed it good. 347 00:12:14,986 --> 00:12:16,319 I'll be right there. 348 00:12:16,344 --> 00:12:18,868 Hurry! I think it's leaving. 349 00:12:21,189 --> 00:12:23,246 Now, this is fresh produce. 350 00:12:23,271 --> 00:12:24,471 I can't even describe... 351 00:12:24,511 --> 00:12:25,932 Strike three! 352 00:12:26,332 --> 00:12:28,466 How exactly is this an improvement? 353 00:12:28,491 --> 00:12:30,158 Jay pick that lamp. 354 00:12:30,183 --> 00:12:32,422 By the way, have you seen him? 355 00:12:41,545 --> 00:12:42,973 I don't know how I got stuck. 356 00:12:42,998 --> 00:12:45,198 I've been on roofs since I was 14 and discovered 357 00:12:45,223 --> 00:12:48,068 it was the best way to see into Ethel Burkin's bedroom. 358 00:12:48,389 --> 00:12:50,070 Older gal. 50s, I think. 359 00:12:50,106 --> 00:12:51,717 Today you probably wouldn't give her a second look, 360 00:12:51,741 --> 00:12:53,407 but this was before the Internet. 361 00:12:53,476 --> 00:12:55,723 It was either that or a Sears catalog. 362 00:12:55,748 --> 00:12:57,739 Can I take a picture of this? 363 00:12:57,764 --> 00:13:00,185 Sometimes my friends don't believe my stories. 364 00:13:00,210 --> 00:13:01,877 There's got to be a better way of doing this. 365 00:13:01,901 --> 00:13:03,146 On the contrary, Mitchell. 366 00:13:03,171 --> 00:13:04,337 It's simplicity itself. 367 00:13:04,362 --> 00:13:06,714 I dislodge the nest. It falls into the trash can. 368 00:13:06,739 --> 00:13:07,872 You close the lid. 369 00:13:07,941 --> 00:13:09,788 Then we just have a barrel full of angry wasps. 370 00:13:09,813 --> 00:13:12,420 Which we swiftly transport to a farm upstate 371 00:13:12,445 --> 00:13:13,988 where they'll be much happier. 372 00:13:14,013 --> 00:13:15,965 Ooh, they'll see my friend's dog. 373 00:13:15,990 --> 00:13:17,811 Yeah, just like that. 374 00:13:18,850 --> 00:13:22,263 All right. First, we just have to dislodge the nest. 375 00:13:22,288 --> 00:13:24,610 No, no, no, no! 376 00:13:25,892 --> 00:13:27,670 There's one on my face. There's one on my face! 377 00:13:27,694 --> 00:13:30,280 Don't move. I've been compromised. 378 00:13:30,305 --> 00:13:31,629 Okay, g-get in the house. 379 00:13:31,654 --> 00:13:34,288 Ow! Ow! Oh! Ow! Ooh! Bad idea! 380 00:13:34,313 --> 00:13:36,897 Ow! I was gonna take you to a farm! 381 00:13:36,922 --> 00:13:38,274 Ow! Ohh! 382 00:13:40,938 --> 00:13:43,005 I may have to change the name of this side dish 383 00:13:43,030 --> 00:13:45,464 to "potatoes au great-in." 384 00:13:45,757 --> 00:13:48,264 I'm not hearing a difference. 385 00:13:48,533 --> 00:13:49,577 Great. 386 00:13:49,602 --> 00:13:51,225 Oh, this is... unique. 387 00:13:51,250 --> 00:13:52,516 Yes, thank you very much. 388 00:13:52,541 --> 00:13:55,257 You know how on your show you were always taking chances 389 00:13:55,282 --> 00:13:56,467 and trusting your instincts? 390 00:13:56,492 --> 00:13:57,657 Well, that is what I did. 391 00:13:57,690 --> 00:13:59,124 That's because... 392 00:13:59,149 --> 00:14:00,749 - I have good instincts. - Mm-hmm. 393 00:14:00,774 --> 00:14:02,694 What's something you do well? 394 00:14:02,719 --> 00:14:04,047 - Cook? Hmm. - No. 395 00:14:04,072 --> 00:14:05,796 Uh, Mom, I think what he's trying to say 396 00:14:05,821 --> 00:14:07,758 is that you should more closely follow his recipe. 397 00:14:07,782 --> 00:14:09,661 You know, use the ingredients that he mentions. 398 00:14:09,686 --> 00:14:10,740 Measure stuff. 399 00:14:10,765 --> 00:14:11,964 - Right? - Not at all. 400 00:14:12,132 --> 00:14:14,991 As I say in the foreword of my third book, "Who Can't Cook?," 401 00:14:15,016 --> 00:14:17,303 "Some people can't cook." 402 00:14:17,671 --> 00:14:18,872 Don't feel bad. 403 00:14:18,897 --> 00:14:21,006 Gourmet cooking is tough, 404 00:14:21,075 --> 00:14:22,419 though not as tough as your chicken. 405 00:14:22,443 --> 00:14:23,909 I can't believe I'm hearing this. 406 00:14:23,978 --> 00:14:26,127 It's times like this I wish I had a refund policy. 407 00:14:26,152 --> 00:14:28,389 Wait a second. I have been making this food 408 00:14:28,414 --> 00:14:30,761 for my family for months now. 409 00:14:30,786 --> 00:14:32,460 I make a big meal every Sunday. 410 00:14:32,485 --> 00:14:33,897 I'm a working mom. 411 00:14:33,922 --> 00:14:36,015 It's my one chance a week 412 00:14:36,040 --> 00:14:37,449 to give my family something 413 00:14:37,474 --> 00:14:39,541 and make up for the time I haven't spent with them. 414 00:14:39,609 --> 00:14:42,850 Are you telling me that I have been giving my family... 415 00:14:42,875 --> 00:14:44,717 garbage? Wait, uh... 416 00:14:45,327 --> 00:14:46,961 Haley, honey, 417 00:14:46,986 --> 00:14:48,919 have I been serving you garbage? 418 00:14:49,139 --> 00:14:50,827 Um... 419 00:14:51,099 --> 00:14:52,671 What do you think I said? 420 00:14:53,272 --> 00:14:54,795 She is the best cook ever. 421 00:14:54,820 --> 00:14:55,985 We love all of her meals. 422 00:14:56,087 --> 00:14:57,530 - Hmm! - Yeah. 423 00:14:57,555 --> 00:14:58,588 Mm-hmm. 424 00:14:58,613 --> 00:15:00,466 - And my singing? - So good! 425 00:15:00,499 --> 00:15:02,155 So... 426 00:15:03,369 --> 00:15:04,796 Jay? 427 00:15:06,624 --> 00:15:07,964 Jay! 428 00:15:08,066 --> 00:15:09,566 I'm up here. 429 00:15:09,877 --> 00:15:12,907 Ay, Dios mío! Your time was too short! 430 00:15:12,932 --> 00:15:14,361 I'm on the roof. 431 00:15:14,386 --> 00:15:16,322 Ah. Oh, okay. So... 432 00:15:16,347 --> 00:15:18,925 come down because the TV's working already. 433 00:15:18,950 --> 00:15:22,415 You know, I'm kind of enjoying hanging out up here. I... 434 00:15:22,440 --> 00:15:24,141 I'll be down in a little bit. 435 00:15:24,166 --> 00:15:27,009 Hey, if Joe wants to work on his throwing arm, 436 00:15:27,034 --> 00:15:29,301 maybe he can toss up, uh, an empty bottle. 437 00:15:29,369 --> 00:15:30,836 Are you stuck up there? 438 00:15:30,938 --> 00:15:32,829 Stuck? No! 439 00:15:32,854 --> 00:15:35,471 I can come down whenever I want to. I just have to... 440 00:15:35,799 --> 00:15:38,963 dangle my body out over the edge and then reach blindly 441 00:15:38,988 --> 00:15:42,087 for that top rung of the ladder you're not supposed to use. 442 00:15:42,112 --> 00:15:43,529 But I'll be in in a little bit. 443 00:15:43,554 --> 00:15:45,494 I got a few things I got to do. 444 00:15:45,519 --> 00:15:47,143 Got to maintain the roof. 445 00:15:47,488 --> 00:15:48,888 It's your house's hat. 446 00:15:54,886 --> 00:15:55,975 I called the one person 447 00:15:56,000 --> 00:15:59,045 I couldn't possibly be embarrassed in front of. 448 00:16:01,419 --> 00:16:03,129 - It's Grandpa. - Don't answer! 449 00:16:03,154 --> 00:16:04,474 He can't know about this. 450 00:16:04,499 --> 00:16:06,267 We have a verbal contract that's largely based 451 00:16:06,291 --> 00:16:08,394 on my ability to fix dryers. 452 00:16:09,231 --> 00:16:10,531 Please work. 453 00:16:12,636 --> 00:16:14,240 Yes! 454 00:16:15,545 --> 00:16:16,855 Maybe. 455 00:16:21,238 --> 00:16:22,535 What's that smell? 456 00:16:22,560 --> 00:16:23,792 Failure. 457 00:16:28,583 --> 00:16:30,884 Oh, Cam, that sting looks really bad. 458 00:16:30,909 --> 00:16:32,277 We... we should get you to a doctor. 459 00:16:32,301 --> 00:16:34,101 A doctor for a wasp sting? 460 00:16:34,126 --> 00:16:35,512 Yes, let's put on our top hats 461 00:16:35,537 --> 00:16:37,137 and eat crumpets while we're on our way. 462 00:16:37,239 --> 00:16:38,850 Okay, I know you think you're making a point. 463 00:16:38,874 --> 00:16:40,354 Back on the farm, 464 00:16:40,379 --> 00:16:42,542 every time we would take down a wasp nest, 465 00:16:42,611 --> 00:16:43,839 I would get stung. 466 00:16:43,864 --> 00:16:44,997 Something you might have mentioned. 467 00:16:45,021 --> 00:16:47,433 And never once did I need fancy medicine. 468 00:16:47,458 --> 00:16:48,558 Just a little mud. 469 00:16:48,583 --> 00:16:49,748 That's right, Lily. 470 00:16:49,773 --> 00:16:52,108 Daddy's being self-reliant. 471 00:16:52,248 --> 00:16:54,949 What do you think the chances are he means actual mud? 472 00:16:55,710 --> 00:16:57,800 - Pretty good. - Like my Aunt Dot said, 473 00:16:57,825 --> 00:16:59,746 "Whether it's bee stings or back aches, 474 00:16:59,771 --> 00:17:02,071 "a little mud is good for what ails you." 475 00:17:02,140 --> 00:17:03,739 I don't remember meeting an Aunt Dot. 476 00:17:03,841 --> 00:17:05,107 She died. 477 00:17:05,209 --> 00:17:06,943 15 minutes later. 478 00:17:07,275 --> 00:17:08,436 All right. 479 00:17:08,461 --> 00:17:09,516 I thought I'd make you a little bit... 480 00:17:09,540 --> 00:17:10,880 Oh, my God! 481 00:17:10,905 --> 00:17:11,981 What? My face? 482 00:17:12,006 --> 00:17:13,638 Is it bad? It feels bad. 483 00:17:13,663 --> 00:17:15,997 It looks a little like you stared directly into the Lost Ark. 484 00:17:16,021 --> 00:17:17,224 - I want to see. - You don't. 485 00:17:17,249 --> 00:17:19,244 Do you think maybe me putting mud on it made it worse? 486 00:17:19,268 --> 00:17:22,430 I don't know how putting dirt directly into a wound, it-it... 487 00:17:22,455 --> 00:17:23,558 Where are you going? 488 00:17:23,583 --> 00:17:25,773 To the doctor. I want to be pretty again. 489 00:17:25,875 --> 00:17:27,286 Well, w-what about being self-reliant? 490 00:17:27,310 --> 00:17:29,977 It's my face! Let's go! 491 00:17:31,480 --> 00:17:34,020 Whoo! Wasps! They're still out there! 492 00:17:37,341 --> 00:17:39,036 Yeah, I'll hold. 493 00:17:39,224 --> 00:17:40,461 I'm pulling out of the deal. 494 00:17:40,486 --> 00:17:41,651 Why? What happened? 495 00:17:41,676 --> 00:17:44,045 I'm not the man you thought you had middle-of-the-day sex with. 496 00:17:44,069 --> 00:17:45,763 Honey, I heard about the dryer. 497 00:17:45,788 --> 00:17:47,558 It's not just that. I ran into Gil. 498 00:17:47,583 --> 00:17:49,062 He thinks it's a bad idea. 499 00:17:49,087 --> 00:17:50,411 Your dad's money is on the line. 500 00:17:50,436 --> 00:17:51,969 I've never done anything like this. 501 00:17:51,994 --> 00:17:53,710 Who cares what Gil Thorpe thinks? 502 00:17:53,735 --> 00:17:55,825 Nobody knows more about real estate than you do, 503 00:17:55,850 --> 00:17:59,085 and you've been thinking about this project for a long time. 504 00:17:59,110 --> 00:18:00,484 I believe in you. 505 00:18:00,509 --> 00:18:02,480 You should believe in yourself. 506 00:18:03,230 --> 00:18:04,845 Yeah, hey, Bob. 507 00:18:04,947 --> 00:18:06,313 It's Phil. 508 00:18:06,415 --> 00:18:09,534 Remove the contingencies. Let's do this. 509 00:18:10,210 --> 00:18:11,925 Is that a fact? 510 00:18:12,220 --> 00:18:13,920 Thanks for letting me know. 511 00:18:14,423 --> 00:18:15,933 Gil Thorpe made a backup offer. 512 00:18:15,958 --> 00:18:18,056 He was just trying to scare me away. 513 00:18:18,081 --> 00:18:20,345 Oh! I am so proud of you! 514 00:18:20,370 --> 00:18:23,838 Wow. Looks like the both of us had a little crisis of confidence today. 515 00:18:23,863 --> 00:18:25,730 In that cooking class... 516 00:18:25,832 --> 00:18:26,931 - Yes? - Yes, well, 517 00:18:26,966 --> 00:18:29,634 Chef Dumont had the audacity 518 00:18:29,736 --> 00:18:31,134 to tell me that I can't cook. 519 00:18:31,159 --> 00:18:32,391 - Huh. - Mm. 520 00:18:32,535 --> 00:18:36,270 Luckily, this one was there to straighten him out. 521 00:18:36,372 --> 00:18:37,956 I'm gonna make you a celebratory dinner. 522 00:18:37,980 --> 00:18:39,199 I think I've got most of the ingredients. 523 00:18:39,223 --> 00:18:41,372 - I can't wait! - Mm-hmm. 524 00:18:41,397 --> 00:18:43,297 You had one job. 525 00:18:45,854 --> 00:18:46,920 Hi, Jay. 526 00:18:47,022 --> 00:18:49,119 Oh, crap. She called you. 527 00:18:49,144 --> 00:18:50,761 - Give me your hand. - Why? 528 00:18:50,786 --> 00:18:52,541 So you can show me up again? 529 00:18:52,717 --> 00:18:54,979 - What are you talking about? - Give it a rest. 530 00:18:55,004 --> 00:18:57,381 You come in here with your young shoulders, 531 00:18:57,406 --> 00:18:59,092 your ukulele. 532 00:18:59,263 --> 00:19:00,663 I'm not trying to show you up, Jay. 533 00:19:00,744 --> 00:19:02,865 I'm trying to impress you. 534 00:19:03,052 --> 00:19:05,279 Why the heck would you want to do that? 535 00:19:05,443 --> 00:19:07,137 I guess you could say that, like you, 536 00:19:07,162 --> 00:19:09,317 I'm stranded in my own way. 537 00:19:09,342 --> 00:19:11,042 This is my least-favorite way of talking. 538 00:19:11,144 --> 00:19:13,092 I got to tell you, Jay, 539 00:19:13,479 --> 00:19:15,179 I'm over the whole sports thing. 540 00:19:15,248 --> 00:19:16,762 But you just won the championship. 541 00:19:16,787 --> 00:19:19,383 Exactly. And there's no more Dragons to slay. 542 00:19:19,485 --> 00:19:20,863 That's the team we beat last year... 543 00:19:20,887 --> 00:19:21,986 the Baby Blue Dragons. 544 00:19:22,088 --> 00:19:23,997 I'm not seeing how I figure into this. 545 00:19:24,022 --> 00:19:25,699 I want to start my own business. 546 00:19:25,724 --> 00:19:27,290 You've been so successful. 547 00:19:27,392 --> 00:19:30,059 I was thinking maybe you could be my mentor. 548 00:19:30,162 --> 00:19:32,342 - What line of work? - Pre-fab gazebos. 549 00:19:32,367 --> 00:19:33,463 Nice! 550 00:19:33,565 --> 00:19:35,365 Every backyard could be its own town square. 551 00:19:35,467 --> 00:19:36,666 I knew you'd get it. 552 00:19:36,768 --> 00:19:38,234 After all, what's a gazebo but... 553 00:19:38,336 --> 00:19:39,794 - ...an outdoor closet? - An outdoor closet! 554 00:19:39,818 --> 00:19:41,504 You're all right, Coach Gary. 555 00:19:41,573 --> 00:19:43,439 Give me your hand. Help me down. 556 00:19:43,542 --> 00:19:45,441 We'll get a few drinks, and we'll talk business. 557 00:19:45,466 --> 00:19:47,074 Gary's Gazebos. 558 00:19:47,345 --> 00:19:48,596 Gazebos by Gary. 559 00:19:48,621 --> 00:19:50,313 Gary's Gazebos and Sheds. 560 00:19:50,415 --> 00:19:51,714 You don't need me. 561 00:19:52,787 --> 00:19:54,097 All right. 562 00:19:54,459 --> 00:19:55,693 Is this you... 563 00:19:55,718 --> 00:19:58,121 sitting alone in an empty yard 564 00:19:58,146 --> 00:19:59,560 wishing you had.... 565 00:19:59,585 --> 00:20:00,885 a gazebo... 566 00:20:00,910 --> 00:20:02,208 or a shed? 567 00:20:02,233 --> 00:20:03,632 If it is, 568 00:20:03,657 --> 00:20:06,091 then call Gary's Gazebos and Sheds 569 00:20:06,116 --> 00:20:08,450 because here, we only do one thing... 570 00:20:08,475 --> 00:20:09,841 sell, install, 571 00:20:09,866 --> 00:20:11,534 and service gazebos and sheds. 572 00:20:11,559 --> 00:20:12,676 _ 573 00:20:13,733 --> 00:20:14,899 Whoa! 574 00:20:14,924 --> 00:20:17,191 And ask about our bird baths. 575 00:20:17,447 --> 00:20:19,513 We own 10% of that, you know. 576 00:20:19,686 --> 00:20:21,652 How much money did you put into the businesses? 577 00:20:21,677 --> 00:20:23,644 Well, you can't take it with you. 578 00:20:23,669 --> 00:20:25,828 Well, we'll all still be here! 579 00:20:25,891 --> 00:20:27,032 Synced and corrected by Aaronnmb www.addic7ed.com 579 00:20:28,305 --> 00:21:28,360 Please rate this subtitle at www.osdb.link/48esx Help other users to choose the best subtitles