1
00:00:00,203 --> 00:00:02,296
Crap. Crap.

2
00:00:02,695 --> 00:00:05,303
Crappacino. Charlie Craplin.

3
00:00:05,328 --> 00:00:07,895
In Colombia, when the old man
starts yelling at the mail,

4
00:00:07,964 --> 00:00:10,832
we put them on a sandbar and
wait for the tide to come in.

5
00:00:10,900 --> 00:00:13,460
Well, Delgado's got a doozy
of a Valentine's dilemma.

6
00:00:13,485 --> 00:00:15,499
I texted out feelers for two dates.

7
00:00:15,523 --> 00:00:18,006
Vicky Noh is top choice, but
Alexa Potts has been doing

8
00:00:18,031 --> 00:00:19,937
this bad-girl thing lately I'm into.

9
00:00:19,984 --> 00:00:21,784
So, while I wait for a yes from Noh,

10
00:00:21,819 --> 00:00:23,067
I've got to keep Potts
on the back burner.

11
00:00:23,099 --> 00:00:24,727
Oh, my God. Is it still talking?

12
00:00:24,789 --> 00:00:26,028
Jay, that's so rude!

13
00:00:26,052 --> 00:00:27,652
He overthinks everything.

14
00:00:27,713 --> 00:00:29,176
- [Ringtone plays]
- If you have a shot

15
00:00:29,192 --> 00:00:30,596
at the bad girl, jump.

16
00:00:30,674 --> 00:00:31,786
I don't know.

17
00:00:31,825 --> 00:00:34,642
She has a stepdad who only pays
attention to her hot older sister.

18
00:00:34,667 --> 00:00:36,433
I will dial the phone for you.

19
00:00:36,502 --> 00:00:37,733
- Ugh.
- [Cellphone chimes]

20
00:00:37,788 --> 00:00:39,514
That was Joe's school. He's in trouble.

21
00:00:39,538 --> 00:00:40,737
We need to go meet with the teacher.

22
00:00:40,806 --> 00:00:42,124
What the hell did he do?

23
00:00:42,149 --> 00:00:44,316
He robbed a bank and took 18 hostages.

24
00:00:44,384 --> 00:00:46,351
How would I know? Let's go.

25
00:00:46,386 --> 00:00:47,819
[Sighs] It's a no-go.

26
00:00:47,844 --> 00:00:49,544
Alexa wanted to use the hot tub tonight,

27
00:00:49,569 --> 00:00:51,080
but apparently can't
find her bathing suit.

28
00:00:51,149 --> 00:00:53,672
If you don't come home smelling
of light beer and chlorine,

29
00:00:53,697 --> 00:00:55,236
do not come home at all.

30
00:00:55,945 --> 00:00:57,930
♪ ♪

31
00:01:03,182 --> 00:01:07,416
Synced and corrected by Aaronnmb
www.addic7ed.com

32
00:01:09,811 --> 00:01:12,015
Uh, honey?

33
00:01:12,946 --> 00:01:14,249
Um...

34
00:01:14,948 --> 00:01:16,839
- Whoa.
- Happy...

35
00:01:16,864 --> 00:01:19,493
- Valentine's Day, my love!
- [Gasps]

36
00:01:19,518 --> 00:01:20,744
Oh, thank you.

37
00:01:20,854 --> 00:01:23,121
I love this. What is it?

38
00:01:23,223 --> 00:01:26,290
It's the actual porch swing
where we had our first kiss.

39
00:01:26,393 --> 00:01:27,625
- No.
- Check it out.

40
00:01:27,650 --> 00:01:29,620
The carvings are still on
the back from 25 years ago.

41
00:01:29,645 --> 00:01:32,964
Oh, my gosh. "Phil hearts Claire."

42
00:01:33,032 --> 00:01:36,033
Oh, honey, this is gonna look
so great out on our porch.

43
00:01:36,136 --> 00:01:38,252
- I can't believe you did this.
- [Laughs]

44
00:01:38,277 --> 00:01:39,295
- Wow.
- It was nothing.

45
00:01:39,328 --> 00:01:40,327
I made a few calls,

46
00:01:40,352 --> 00:01:42,059
- drove half a day...
- Uh-huh.

47
00:01:42,084 --> 00:01:44,509
... had Campari and haggled
with a handsy gay landlord,

48
00:01:44,611 --> 00:01:46,510
took the swing apart,
loaded it in a van,

49
00:01:46,535 --> 00:01:47,668
ran out of gas in the desert,

50
00:01:47,770 --> 00:01:49,169
got harassed by a shady state trooper,

51
00:01:49,271 --> 00:01:50,506
and drove back with a blinding migraine.

52
00:01:50,531 --> 00:01:51,609
But easy-peasy.

53
00:01:51,634 --> 00:01:52,960
- I love it.
- [Chuckles]

54
00:01:52,985 --> 00:01:55,327
Knock, knock. Happy Valentine's Day...

55
00:01:55,351 --> 00:01:57,718
or, as I call it, "the best
night to go to the grocery store."

56
00:01:57,820 --> 00:02:00,387
And here is your Valentine's gift.

57
00:02:00,489 --> 00:02:01,889
I wrapped it myself in the office,

58
00:02:01,991 --> 00:02:04,425
and then, like a dingdong,
I left it there, so...

59
00:02:04,527 --> 00:02:06,427
Whoa, sparkly.

60
00:02:06,487 --> 00:02:08,620
Just like you. That's
why I picked the wrapping.

61
00:02:08,653 --> 00:02:09,715
- She sure did.
- Yeah. Go ahead.

62
00:02:09,740 --> 00:02:10,775
[Coughs]

63
00:02:10,800 --> 00:02:12,633
Claire, I think I know what this is.

64
00:02:12,735 --> 00:02:15,236
- I can't believe you did this.
- I know, right?

65
00:02:15,338 --> 00:02:16,971
You got me an old watch.

66
00:02:17,073 --> 00:02:19,173
- Pretty cool, right?
- So cool.

67
00:02:19,275 --> 00:02:21,075
I've got a crazy-good poker face,

68
00:02:21,143 --> 00:02:22,610
but I didn't love the watch.

69
00:02:22,678 --> 00:02:24,492
I'd been dropping these big hints

70
00:02:24,517 --> 00:02:26,614
about a pair of genuine
Houdini handcuffs

71
00:02:26,639 --> 00:02:28,573
on sale at a local magic shop.

72
00:02:28,730 --> 00:02:32,398
They're from his famous Coffin
of Cobras Escape of 1923.

73
00:02:32,423 --> 00:02:33,598
The trick was so shocking

74
00:02:33,623 --> 00:02:35,423
that women went into spontaneous labor

75
00:02:35,448 --> 00:02:37,591
and the men paired off
in violent fighting.

76
00:02:37,614 --> 00:02:40,348
I, uh, don't think it's working.

77
00:02:40,451 --> 00:02:42,117
- Uh...
- Oh, well, I mean,

78
00:02:42,142 --> 00:02:43,619
I'm just seeing this
watch for the first time,

79
00:02:43,644 --> 00:02:46,078
but it looks like
it's got a self-winder.

80
00:02:46,103 --> 00:02:47,166
- You just move your...
- Yeah.

81
00:02:47,191 --> 00:02:48,419
... arm around to keep it going.

82
00:02:48,458 --> 00:02:49,768
I should probably get going.

83
00:02:49,793 --> 00:02:51,159
- Mother's waiting in the truck...
- Mm-hmm.

84
00:02:51,184 --> 00:02:53,037
... and she's patient until she isn't.

85
00:02:53,062 --> 00:02:54,458
[Truck horn blares]

86
00:02:54,887 --> 00:02:57,231
Oh, and I've got to get to work, too,

87
00:02:57,333 --> 00:02:59,467
before all the single gals show up.

88
00:02:59,569 --> 00:03:02,170
It's pretty hard to concentrate
with all the bathroom crying

89
00:03:02,238 --> 00:03:05,123
and the half-eaten chocolates
getting hurled at the wall.

90
00:03:06,225 --> 00:03:08,303
- Have a good one.
- I will.

91
00:03:08,578 --> 00:03:09,944
- Hey.
- Hey.

92
00:03:10,013 --> 00:03:11,479
Wow. Those are nice.

93
00:03:11,581 --> 00:03:12,880
Yeah, they were on the front porch.

94
00:03:12,982 --> 00:03:14,782
They're from a mystery admirer.

95
00:03:14,884 --> 00:03:16,995
The card says, "You
don't know your power."

96
00:03:17,020 --> 00:03:18,673
Oh, that's my bad.

97
00:03:18,698 --> 00:03:20,438
I was power-washing the flagstones

98
00:03:20,463 --> 00:03:22,430
- in my old cheer shorts...
- They're for me.

99
00:03:22,533 --> 00:03:23,676
Yeah, don't ask who they're from,

100
00:03:23,701 --> 00:03:25,636
because I don't know,
but I will find out.

101
00:03:25,661 --> 00:03:27,271
- Oh.
- What happened to your arm?

102
00:03:27,296 --> 00:03:30,136
Oh, I am winding an old watch

103
00:03:30,161 --> 00:03:32,641
that your mother gave
me for Valentine's Day.

104
00:03:32,666 --> 00:03:35,800
Oh. That's pretty uneven. You
gave her this awesome swing.

105
00:03:35,825 --> 00:03:38,280
Man, where did Mom find
a guy as sweet as you?

106
00:03:38,305 --> 00:03:39,705
Actually, she hit me with her car

107
00:03:39,730 --> 00:03:42,230
when I was break-dancing
in a KFC parking lot.

108
00:03:42,402 --> 00:03:44,030
And your mother's not unromantic.

109
00:03:44,055 --> 00:03:45,972
She's just been busy with work lately.

110
00:03:45,997 --> 00:03:47,990
Well, you've been
married for like 25 years.

111
00:03:48,015 --> 00:03:49,081
What's that supposed to mean?

112
00:03:49,106 --> 00:03:50,536
You guys are overdue for the romance

113
00:03:50,561 --> 00:03:51,860
to fizzle out a little bit.

114
00:03:51,929 --> 00:03:53,215
Oh, well, it's nice to know

115
00:03:53,240 --> 00:03:55,278
that some dime-store posies
from an unnamed stalker

116
00:03:55,302 --> 00:03:57,460
have made you an expert
on matters of the heart.

117
00:03:57,485 --> 00:03:59,845
It so happens that your
mother is still very romantic,

118
00:03:59,861 --> 00:04:01,381
which I will prove with a surprise visit

119
00:04:01,418 --> 00:04:02,982
to her office this afternoon.

120
00:04:03,008 --> 00:04:04,249
[Thud]

121
00:04:05,473 --> 00:04:07,199
Let me guess... you built this inside

122
00:04:07,224 --> 00:04:08,585
and didn't measure the door?

123
00:04:08,610 --> 00:04:11,310
Card was right. You don't
know your own power...

124
00:04:11,335 --> 00:04:12,345
to be mean.

125
00:04:12,413 --> 00:04:13,579
[Thud]

126
00:04:14,105 --> 00:04:16,032
Thank you so much for helping us out.

127
00:04:16,134 --> 00:04:17,964
Ah, yeah. Rainer has work, anyways.

128
00:04:17,988 --> 00:04:19,253
He does this Valentine's Day thing

129
00:04:19,331 --> 00:04:21,136
- where he tracks Cupid on the radar.
- Aww, cute.

130
00:04:21,168 --> 00:04:23,033
Oh, and Lily gets to stay
up a little later tonight

131
00:04:23,058 --> 00:04:24,436
because she had a
big-girl moment at school.

132
00:04:24,505 --> 00:04:27,097
Yes, this boy Jagger...
'cause that's a name now...

133
00:04:27,129 --> 00:04:30,441
teased her and she told him
off in front of everybody.

134
00:04:30,466 --> 00:04:33,840
And we're proud of you
because you used your words.

135
00:04:33,856 --> 00:04:37,054
She used<i> our</i> words.
We wrote her a little speech.

136
00:04:37,079 --> 00:04:38,778
She really told that kid off good.

137
00:04:38,803 --> 00:04:41,528
Our society encourages
women to be unassertive,

138
00:04:41,553 --> 00:04:45,188
so we need to do everything we
can to... to really empower Lily.

139
00:04:45,208 --> 00:04:46,874
We may not get women,

140
00:04:46,910 --> 00:04:50,035
but that allows us to really get women.

141
00:04:50,130 --> 00:04:52,645
We may not hook up with women,

142
00:04:52,670 --> 00:04:55,070
but we really understand women.

143
00:04:55,095 --> 00:04:56,728
I think it was clear when I said it.

144
00:04:56,880 --> 00:04:58,633
So, what's with this whole
"going out early" thing.

145
00:04:58,658 --> 00:05:00,705
Well, it's been forever since
we've had a date-night out,

146
00:05:00,729 --> 00:05:02,930
and so we made a little
list of the six things

147
00:05:02,955 --> 00:05:03,955
that we love to do,

148
00:05:03,980 --> 00:05:05,041
- but never get to do.
- [Cellphone chimes]

149
00:05:05,065 --> 00:05:06,153
Ugh, pathetic.

150
00:05:06,178 --> 00:05:07,677
Okay, we get to say that, not you.

151
00:05:07,702 --> 00:05:08,900
No, no, no, it's Dylan.

152
00:05:08,916 --> 00:05:11,127
He texts me every Valentine's
Day begging to hook up.

153
00:05:11,152 --> 00:05:12,351
Oh, that is sad.

154
00:05:12,420 --> 00:05:14,577
I know. It almost never works.

155
00:05:14,755 --> 00:05:16,058
All right, you old bags,

156
00:05:16,083 --> 00:05:17,682
put your teeth in, you're taking me out.

157
00:05:17,751 --> 00:05:19,655
Sal, what are you doing here?

158
00:05:19,680 --> 00:05:20,883
It's Valentine's Day

159
00:05:20,908 --> 00:05:23,257
and my new German boyfriend,
Werner, is out of town,

160
00:05:23,281 --> 00:05:24,621
and I don't like to drink alone.

161
00:05:24,646 --> 00:05:26,534
[Laughter]

162
00:05:26,559 --> 00:05:27,591
The first part's true.

163
00:05:27,660 --> 00:05:28,859
Well, actually, we have plans.

164
00:05:28,928 --> 00:05:30,894
Aw, but now you have better plans.

165
00:05:30,996 --> 00:05:32,763
Fausta here can babysit Sammy

166
00:05:32,831 --> 00:05:34,798
and General Tsour over there.

167
00:05:34,823 --> 00:05:37,830
Sammy, tell your guncles
hello like I taught you.

168
00:05:37,861 --> 00:05:39,594
- <i>Enchanté.</i>
- Ahh!

169
00:05:39,619 --> 00:05:41,837
- What am I looking at here?
- I'm raising him gay.

170
00:05:41,869 --> 00:05:43,812
Tell Uncle Mitchell what
you think about those pants.

171
00:05:43,915 --> 00:05:44,914
Tragic.

172
00:05:44,939 --> 00:05:46,274
Oh, it's sticking!

173
00:05:46,299 --> 00:05:47,460
[Laughs]

174
00:05:47,485 --> 00:05:48,984
- So, come on. Let's go.
- Uh...

175
00:05:49,053 --> 00:05:50,619
Hey, if she's watching the kids,

176
00:05:50,655 --> 00:05:51,987
I don't want to be a fourth wheel,

177
00:05:52,012 --> 00:05:53,244
so I'll just come and join you three.

178
00:05:53,269 --> 00:05:54,712
- That... that sounds great.
- Ahh!

179
00:05:54,737 --> 00:05:56,003
Mitchell, can I talk to
you over by the fireplace?

180
00:05:56,028 --> 00:05:57,042
Yeah, yeah.

181
00:05:58,064 --> 00:06:00,309
- Hey, so what about our plans?
- Look, you know Sal.

182
00:06:00,378 --> 00:06:02,006
She's not gonna leave
until we agree to this.

183
00:06:02,076 --> 00:06:03,570
So, look, we'll just get
the two of them drinking.

184
00:06:03,595 --> 00:06:04,961
They won't even notice when we slip away

185
00:06:05,029 --> 00:06:06,162
and, you know, get back to our list.

186
00:06:06,187 --> 00:06:07,287
- That's a good plan.
- Yeah.

187
00:06:07,295 --> 00:06:09,507
You know what? I didn't even
want to do number one anyway.

188
00:06:09,576 --> 00:06:11,474
It makes me feel dirty and ashamed.

189
00:06:11,499 --> 00:06:13,083
Okay, well, bye-bye, Cheesecake Factory.

190
00:06:13,108 --> 00:06:14,286
Wow. All right.

191
00:06:14,311 --> 00:06:15,643
Ms. Clarke: I asked you
guys to come in today

192
00:06:15,682 --> 00:06:17,664
because Joe has given me a very, um,

193
00:06:17,689 --> 00:06:20,908
inappropriate Valentine's Day gift.

194
00:06:20,933 --> 00:06:22,643
- [Gasps]
- I assume that...

195
00:06:22,668 --> 00:06:23,862
he got this from home?

196
00:06:23,878 --> 00:06:25,128
Ms. Clarke, I am so sorry.

197
00:06:25,153 --> 00:06:28,955
I'm sure that Joe doesn't
even know what he was doing.

198
00:06:29,429 --> 00:06:31,029
Oh. [Laughs]

199
00:06:31,098 --> 00:06:33,465
Looks like I'm finally gonna
get to fight with one son

200
00:06:33,567 --> 00:06:35,760
over the<i> Sports
Illustrated</i> swimsuit issue.

201
00:06:35,785 --> 00:06:37,650
Jay, this is not funny.

202
00:06:37,675 --> 00:06:41,285
I come from a very long
line of overly sexy men.

203
00:06:41,301 --> 00:06:45,002
My cousin Ricardo,
he had a sex addition.

204
00:06:45,071 --> 00:06:46,537
You mean "addiction."

205
00:06:46,573 --> 00:06:47,872
Uh, yeah, sorry.

206
00:06:47,941 --> 00:06:50,274
He built an addiction onto his house

207
00:06:50,299 --> 00:06:52,500
for making love to his many girlfriends.

208
00:06:52,739 --> 00:06:54,272
Well, Joe just needs to know

209
00:06:54,308 --> 00:06:55,948
that this type of gift is not okay.

210
00:06:55,980 --> 00:06:57,829
And you're right, and
I'm gonna talk to him.

211
00:06:59,818 --> 00:07:01,517
Did I do something wrong?

212
00:07:01,542 --> 00:07:02,595
You did take something

213
00:07:02,619 --> 00:07:04,519
out of your mom's drawer without asking.

214
00:07:04,622 --> 00:07:06,456
But I'm gonna give
you a pass on that one.

215
00:07:06,558 --> 00:07:09,091
The thing is, the
gift was inappropriate.

216
00:07:09,115 --> 00:07:12,016
Well, you give underpants to Mom.

217
00:07:12,119 --> 00:07:13,442
True.

218
00:07:13,467 --> 00:07:15,833
You do it every year.

219
00:07:15,858 --> 00:07:18,115
Look, you can give that kind of thing

220
00:07:18,140 --> 00:07:19,906
to your wife or your girlfriend.

221
00:07:20,100 --> 00:07:23,302
But it's a little bit different
when it's your teacher, okay?

222
00:07:23,327 --> 00:07:26,842
Fine. Can I go back
to the quiet room now?

223
00:07:26,893 --> 00:07:29,081
I already missed half of my nap.

224
00:07:29,106 --> 00:07:30,539
You know how I get.

225
00:07:30,564 --> 00:07:31,966
Sure. Go ahead.

226
00:07:33,974 --> 00:07:35,310
Everything's squared away.

227
00:07:35,371 --> 00:07:37,051
Ms. Clarke, sorry for the trouble.

228
00:07:37,076 --> 00:07:38,318
May I have that back?

229
00:07:38,343 --> 00:07:40,654
[Laughing] Oh, my gosh. I'm sorry.

230
00:07:40,679 --> 00:07:43,513
I didn't know that real humans
could have these dimensions.

231
00:07:43,538 --> 00:07:45,458
- Thanks.
- [Laughs] Thank you.

232
00:07:47,617 --> 00:07:48,883
Oops.

233
00:07:48,950 --> 00:07:51,232
I seem to have dropped
my spare hotel key.

234
00:07:51,257 --> 00:07:52,756
- Phil...
- Shh.

235
00:07:52,841 --> 00:07:54,274
No need to call whoever this Phil is.

236
00:07:54,336 --> 00:07:55,568
You're in no danger.

237
00:07:55,637 --> 00:07:59,102
This key is to room 422 at
the Ramada down the street.

238
00:07:59,141 --> 00:08:00,574
Slip out when you can.

239
00:08:00,643 --> 00:08:02,276
I'll pre-disable the smoke detectors

240
00:08:02,344 --> 00:08:03,910
so you don't set it
off when you shimmy out

241
00:08:04,013 --> 00:08:05,758
of those sensible wide-leg trousers.

242
00:08:05,782 --> 00:08:07,048
For the past several Valentine's,

243
00:08:07,117 --> 00:08:08,776
we've adopted sexy alter egos...

244
00:08:08,823 --> 00:08:11,128
Juliana, wild and spontaneous,

245
00:08:11,222 --> 00:08:13,910
and Clive, passionate
collector of beautiful women

246
00:08:13,935 --> 00:08:15,635
and antique sailing maps.

247
00:08:15,891 --> 00:08:18,128
- Clive, I love this id...
- Shh.

248
00:08:18,214 --> 00:08:19,313
Save that energy, my dear.

249
00:08:19,382 --> 00:08:21,015
This hotel has a very short memory

250
00:08:21,084 --> 00:08:23,417
and a very long outdoor staircase.

251
00:08:23,453 --> 00:08:25,484
Claire, you have to finish
signing these contracts.

252
00:08:25,509 --> 00:08:26,531
Hey, Phil.

253
00:08:26,540 --> 00:08:28,240
[Chuckles] Phil? No.

254
00:08:28,342 --> 00:08:29,875
Name's Clive, friend.

255
00:08:29,977 --> 00:08:31,943
Say, maybe you could
take over here for a bit.

256
00:08:32,012 --> 00:08:33,678
[Clears throat] I'll make
sure the boss lady's back

257
00:08:33,703 --> 00:08:35,405
in one piece no later than...

258
00:08:35,430 --> 00:08:36,628
Oh, come on.

259
00:08:36,644 --> 00:08:39,144
- Hi, Phil.
- It's Clive, actually.

260
00:08:39,169 --> 00:08:41,502
Apparently they have a thing
like how you and your sister

261
00:08:41,527 --> 00:08:43,647
go to those conventions
dressed like stuffed animals.

262
00:08:43,670 --> 00:08:47,022
Oh. Uh, Claire, your 2:00 is
here and you can't be late.

263
00:08:47,053 --> 00:08:49,419
Phil, look, I really
appreciate this. I do.

264
00:08:49,444 --> 00:08:50,789
- It's just that...
- So, I spoke to the florist.

265
00:08:50,857 --> 00:08:53,165
Turns out my admirer sent
these from Pritchett's Closets.

266
00:08:53,220 --> 00:08:55,287
I may have a sad love life,
but I don't need my mommy

267
00:08:55,356 --> 00:08:56,680
trying to boost my self-esteem.

268
00:08:56,705 --> 00:08:58,149
And if you really want to
give me some confidence,

269
00:08:58,181 --> 00:08:59,334
how about a picture of me on your desk,

270
00:08:59,359 --> 00:09:00,542
and not just Haley and Luke.

271
00:09:00,567 --> 00:09:02,868
First of all, I didn't
give you those flowers.

272
00:09:02,893 --> 00:09:05,034
Second of all, there
is a picture of you.

273
00:09:05,081 --> 00:09:06,291
- Where is it?
- Mm-hmm.

274
00:09:06,316 --> 00:09:07,375
[knocking]

275
00:09:07,400 --> 00:09:08,798
Salutations.

276
00:09:08,823 --> 00:09:10,042
Yes, hello.

277
00:09:10,066 --> 00:09:11,199
I've got a meeting.

278
00:09:11,267 --> 00:09:13,034
Ben, you're gonna finish
the contract stuff.

279
00:09:13,036 --> 00:09:14,574
Margaret, you're gonna take Alex.

280
00:09:14,599 --> 00:09:17,637
You're gonna find out who's using
our account for flowers, okay?

281
00:09:17,662 --> 00:09:19,259
Phil, honey,

282
00:09:19,294 --> 00:09:20,660
we'll do Valentine's Day later, okay?

283
00:09:20,754 --> 00:09:22,191
Do I know that guy in the cloak?

284
00:09:22,216 --> 00:09:24,371
Ah, hinge specialist. You
might've seen him around.

285
00:09:24,396 --> 00:09:28,164
He's<i> the</i> guy for offbeat
swivels and rare-beveled hook joints.

286
00:09:28,227 --> 00:09:30,616
I find everything you
just said very titila...

287
00:09:30,641 --> 00:09:31,940
- Shh.
- [Gasps]

288
00:09:31,965 --> 00:09:34,286
We'll make up for this
later over dinner, I promise.

289
00:09:34,302 --> 00:09:36,739
I've got it all planned.

290
00:09:37,097 --> 00:09:38,893
This whole Clive thing
wasn't even necessary.

291
00:09:38,919 --> 00:09:41,186
Claire was taking me
out to dinner all along.

292
00:09:41,279 --> 00:09:43,246
Romance strong as ever.

293
00:09:43,314 --> 00:09:44,347
[Intercom beeps]

294
00:09:44,416 --> 00:09:47,049
Claire: <i>Margaret, get a reservation
for me and Phil tonight, anywhere.</i>

295
00:09:47,118 --> 00:09:49,543
<i>I've got too much going
on to even think about it.</i>

296
00:09:52,539 --> 00:09:53,705
[Chocolate thuds]

297
00:09:55,065 --> 00:09:56,899
Sal: Werner is great.

298
00:09:56,967 --> 00:10:00,198
You know, he's a rich musician,
tours a lot, no strings.

299
00:10:00,261 --> 00:10:01,416
Well, um...

300
00:10:01,441 --> 00:10:02,573
[Both yawn]

301
00:10:02,612 --> 00:10:04,719
this has been fun, but we should, uh...

302
00:10:04,744 --> 00:10:06,577
You're not going
anywhere, Carrot Bottom.

303
00:10:06,671 --> 00:10:07,892
Oh, my God. Is that Rainer?

304
00:10:07,916 --> 00:10:09,630
Why is he with another woman?

305
00:10:09,662 --> 00:10:11,360
That sounds cheat-y.

306
00:10:11,392 --> 00:10:13,392
That's Haley's weatherman boyfriend.

307
00:10:13,461 --> 00:10:15,191
- Sorry, Hale.
- We need to leave.

308
00:10:15,216 --> 00:10:16,784
- No, you got to go confront him.
- Mm.

309
00:10:16,809 --> 00:10:18,909
I'm upset. I've had a couple drinks. No.

310
00:10:18,940 --> 00:10:20,172
Okay.

311
00:10:20,197 --> 00:10:21,374
So, what's it like touring the world

312
00:10:21,399 --> 00:10:23,424
- with other Canadian acrobats?
- What?

313
00:10:23,518 --> 00:10:25,552
We just assumed you were a
member of Cirque du Soleil.

314
00:10:25,587 --> 00:10:26,686
Yup, because you're
bending over backwards

315
00:10:26,755 --> 00:10:27,987
to avoid standing up for yourself.

316
00:10:28,012 --> 00:10:29,312
And setting a good example

317
00:10:29,339 --> 00:10:30,565
- for other women.
- For other women.

318
00:10:30,590 --> 00:10:31,623
You both were thinking that?

319
00:10:31,648 --> 00:10:32,683
- Mm-hmm.
- Mm-hmm.

320
00:10:32,691 --> 00:10:34,457
- Fine.
- Finally.

321
00:10:34,526 --> 00:10:35,659
I was beginning to think she was weaker

322
00:10:35,727 --> 00:10:37,086
than Mitchell's jawline.

323
00:10:37,111 --> 00:10:38,745
Everyone knows why you grew that thing.

324
00:10:38,793 --> 00:10:40,983
Okay, this coming from the
woman who... who won't admit

325
00:10:41,016 --> 00:10:42,870
that she's upset that her
boyfriend abandoned her

326
00:10:42,895 --> 00:10:43,961
on Valentine's Day.

327
00:10:43,986 --> 00:10:45,639
Oh, and didn't you just
get back from learning

328
00:10:45,675 --> 00:10:47,061
how to plant corn with the Indians?

329
00:10:47,077 --> 00:10:47,880
Because you look, to us,

330
00:10:47,905 --> 00:10:49,301
- like an early settler.
- Settler.

331
00:10:49,833 --> 00:10:50,866
Both: We're saying that you settle.

332
00:10:50,935 --> 00:10:52,504
You practice this at home, don't you?

333
00:10:52,529 --> 00:10:53,647
Both: We do not.

334
00:10:53,678 --> 00:10:55,445
Now, I knew it couldn't
be angels bowling, so...

335
00:10:55,547 --> 00:10:56,913
I thought you were working today.

336
00:10:56,948 --> 00:10:58,670
And didn't we agree that you
never wear that sweater again?

337
00:10:58,702 --> 00:10:59,901
- My...
- Excuse me.

338
00:10:59,969 --> 00:11:01,001
We're kind of on a date right now.

339
00:11:01,026 --> 00:11:02,075
Uh, Haley.

340
00:11:02,100 --> 00:11:03,770
Oh, save it, you lying,

341
00:11:03,795 --> 00:11:05,762
cheating, middle-aged pointer.

342
00:11:05,830 --> 00:11:07,130
That's what you do,
you know... you point.

343
00:11:07,198 --> 00:11:08,828
You point for your money! We are done!

344
00:11:08,853 --> 00:11:10,381
Happy Valentine's Day.

345
00:11:10,389 --> 00:11:11,722
Oh.

346
00:11:11,757 --> 00:11:13,025
My hair.

347
00:11:13,050 --> 00:11:14,783
- [Gasps]
- Oh, that was crazy

348
00:11:14,845 --> 00:11:16,384
and great and awful and
I don't know what to do.

349
00:11:16,409 --> 00:11:18,681
- I'm just gonna go home.
- What?! No! I like you now.

350
00:11:18,706 --> 00:11:21,175
Werner has a yacht with
a full bar. Let's go.

351
00:11:21,200 --> 00:11:22,553
I'm not letting you
go home in this mood.

352
00:11:22,593 --> 00:11:23,685
- Yes.
- Okay, well, you know,

353
00:11:23,710 --> 00:11:26,386
that sounds kind of
like a girl thing, so...

354
00:11:26,411 --> 00:11:27,417
[Cellphone ringing]

355
00:11:27,442 --> 00:11:28,802
Oh, okay, if that's Rainer calling

356
00:11:28,827 --> 00:11:30,081
to make excuses, don't answer.

357
00:11:30,097 --> 00:11:31,799
It's just pathetic Dylan
trying to hook up again.

358
00:11:31,824 --> 00:11:32,974
Let me handle this.

359
00:11:32,995 --> 00:11:34,287
Hey, Boo Boo.

360
00:11:34,312 --> 00:11:37,455
Well, another woman empowered.

361
00:11:37,480 --> 00:11:39,213
- It's what we do.
- Yes, it is.

362
00:11:39,315 --> 00:11:40,614
- Okay, back to the list.
- [Cellphone rings]

363
00:11:40,716 --> 00:11:42,430
Oh, wait one second. It's Lily.

364
00:11:42,455 --> 00:11:44,470
Hey, honey. Is everything okay?

365
00:11:44,690 --> 00:11:47,424
- Jagger was very hurt by our speech.
- Well...

366
00:11:47,449 --> 00:11:48,444
She didn't answer his texts

367
00:11:48,491 --> 00:11:50,098
- 'cause we told her not to.
- Good.

368
00:11:50,167 --> 00:11:51,700
- He ran away.
- He did?

369
00:11:51,769 --> 00:11:53,168
People are forming a human chain

370
00:11:53,270 --> 00:11:54,603
to search for him in the woods.

371
00:11:54,671 --> 00:11:56,938
Okay, honey, well, we'll
be home soon, all right?

372
00:11:57,007 --> 00:11:58,546
Do you think we have some responsibility

373
00:11:58,571 --> 00:11:59,665
in this Jagger situation?

374
00:11:59,689 --> 00:12:01,267
Ah... no. No.

375
00:12:01,275 --> 00:12:03,175
They... they chose to
build near the woods.

376
00:12:03,211 --> 00:12:04,607
- Good advice is good advice, okay?
- That's right.

377
00:12:04,632 --> 00:12:05,998
You guys, where's Haley?

378
00:12:06,067 --> 00:12:09,068
Um, she is on a boat in the marina,

379
00:12:09,136 --> 00:12:11,403
putting you in her rearview mirror.

380
00:12:11,434 --> 00:12:12,867
- Boats have those, don't they?
- I think so.

381
00:12:12,892 --> 00:12:14,753
You guys, I was only letting that woman

382
00:12:14,785 --> 00:12:16,347
think we were on a date

383
00:12:16,372 --> 00:12:17,838
because she runs a celebrity site

384
00:12:17,907 --> 00:12:19,783
that buys photos from paparazzi, okay?

385
00:12:19,808 --> 00:12:20,883
I was trying to get one of me back

386
00:12:20,915 --> 00:12:22,882
because Haley is in it
and this is the photo.

387
00:12:22,950 --> 00:12:24,560
- No. God, no.
- Oh, my gosh.

388
00:12:24,585 --> 00:12:26,649
Bedhead, sneeze face, and UGG slippers?

389
00:12:26,688 --> 00:12:28,328
And now Haley's not answering my calls

390
00:12:28,353 --> 00:12:31,172
and somehow I'm supposed to
smile through a weather report

391
00:12:31,197 --> 00:12:32,567
in 15 minutes?

392
00:12:34,051 --> 00:12:35,918
Pull yourself together, Rainer.

393
00:12:35,990 --> 00:12:37,689
You're a weatherman.

394
00:12:39,107 --> 00:12:40,225
Do you think our advice...

395
00:12:40,327 --> 00:12:41,601
Sucked? Yes. Yes.

396
00:12:41,610 --> 00:12:44,098
We need to get to that boat
before Haley hooks up with Dylan.

397
00:12:44,123 --> 00:12:45,689
She wouldn't do something that stupid.

398
00:12:45,766 --> 00:12:46,865
Did you see the UGGs?

399
00:12:46,933 --> 00:12:48,317
Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

400
00:12:48,342 --> 00:12:50,409
Mom, I'm home.

401
00:12:50,512 --> 00:12:52,168
We got valentines.

402
00:12:52,184 --> 00:12:53,914
Oh, hi, Mrs. Kewley.

403
00:12:53,965 --> 00:12:55,309
Is the party over?

404
00:12:55,387 --> 00:12:56,453
We had an incident.

405
00:12:56,522 --> 00:12:58,288
Your son gave my Bailey

406
00:12:58,357 --> 00:13:00,922
a very strange Valentine's gift.

407
00:13:01,092 --> 00:13:03,219
I am so sorry.

408
00:13:04,211 --> 00:13:07,437
Didn't your father talk
to you about this already?

409
00:13:07,570 --> 00:13:10,504
Yeah, and he said it's okay
to give it to a girlfriend.

410
00:13:10,573 --> 00:13:13,399
We're going. And Bailey is
certainly not his girlfriend.

411
00:13:13,424 --> 00:13:15,091
She would be lucky!

412
00:13:16,239 --> 00:13:17,317
Is that Bailey?

413
00:13:17,342 --> 00:13:19,384
'Cause I think Joe has
a little thing for her.

414
00:13:19,409 --> 00:13:22,444
Yeah, he did have a
little<i> thing</i> for her.

415
00:13:22,469 --> 00:13:24,924
It's here. He did it again.

416
00:13:24,987 --> 00:13:27,716
I knew I shouldn't have
trusted you talking to him,

417
00:13:27,741 --> 00:13:29,708
because you will let
him get away with murder

418
00:13:29,777 --> 00:13:32,706
because he's a mini you and you like it.

419
00:13:32,730 --> 00:13:33,862
And you know what's worse?

420
00:13:33,887 --> 00:13:35,487
That you're so mean to Manny

421
00:13:35,520 --> 00:13:37,190
because he's different than you.

422
00:13:37,198 --> 00:13:39,365
First off, Joe is not a mini me.

423
00:13:39,390 --> 00:13:40,630
Crap.

424
00:13:40,717 --> 00:13:42,948
Crapola. Crapinski.

425
00:13:42,973 --> 00:13:45,870
Well, maybe a little, and
maybe I kind of like it.

426
00:13:45,895 --> 00:13:48,204
But why would you want to
knock the Jay out of Joe?

427
00:13:48,228 --> 00:13:50,376
Instead of one trophy, you get two.

428
00:13:50,384 --> 00:13:51,517
Ugh.

429
00:13:51,585 --> 00:13:53,819
- Mitchell: Okay, thank God.
- Cameron: Oh, gosh.

430
00:13:53,888 --> 00:13:55,053
- Hi.
- Hey.

431
00:13:55,122 --> 00:13:56,255
What are you guys doing here?

432
00:13:56,349 --> 00:13:57,748
Need a sailor to cross off number four

433
00:13:57,791 --> 00:13:59,532
on that Valentine's Day list of yours?

434
00:13:59,556 --> 00:14:01,655
Was that mean? I've been
around Sal, I've lost my filter.

435
00:14:01,680 --> 00:14:02,979
You know what? We all make mistakes.

436
00:14:03,075 --> 00:14:04,508
Which is a-a funny thing to remember

437
00:14:04,577 --> 00:14:07,278
when we tell you about a
very funny misunderstanding.

438
00:14:07,346 --> 00:14:10,262
Cameron, Mitchell, what
a pleasant surprise.

439
00:14:10,294 --> 00:14:12,379
Sal, you okay? You seem not yourself.

440
00:14:12,404 --> 00:14:14,059
Yeah, I feel like you used to blink.

441
00:14:14,099 --> 00:14:16,833
I took your advice. Called Werner.

442
00:14:16,901 --> 00:14:18,622
Told him I wasn't going to settle.

443
00:14:18,647 --> 00:14:19,646
- How did that...
- [Shatters]

444
00:14:19,671 --> 00:14:21,003
How... how did that go?

445
00:14:21,028 --> 00:14:23,562
He was thinking that we
might be something special,

446
00:14:23,647 --> 00:14:25,547
and then I gave him the ultimatum,

447
00:14:25,609 --> 00:14:28,326
and he said, "Maybe we're
not actually meant to be."

448
00:14:28,366 --> 00:14:29,780
I don't know what's happening.

449
00:14:29,802 --> 00:14:31,555
S-Sal, w-what are you doing?

450
00:14:31,609 --> 00:14:32,775
Straightening up.

451
00:14:32,844 --> 00:14:34,455
You know, a place for everything...

452
00:14:34,480 --> 00:14:36,080
- No.
- ... everything in its place.

453
00:14:36,182 --> 00:14:37,615
Hey, what about this?

454
00:14:37,717 --> 00:14:40,408
This was actually salvaged
from the<i> Bismarck.</i>

455
00:14:40,471 --> 00:14:41,470
- Oh.
- Oh, wow.

456
00:14:41,572 --> 00:14:43,205
- That's...
- Ah! [Laughs]

457
00:14:43,274 --> 00:14:44,440
Why are you helping?

458
00:14:44,542 --> 00:14:45,741
Feels good. Men suck.

459
00:14:45,843 --> 00:14:47,409
No, no, n-not all men, okay?

460
00:14:47,470 --> 00:14:49,716
We... we just talked to Rainer, and, um,

461
00:14:49,749 --> 00:14:50,937
that wasn't a date.

462
00:14:51,015 --> 00:14:52,147
- What?!
- [Shatters]

463
00:14:52,172 --> 00:14:53,182
Okay, why did you break that?

464
00:14:53,207 --> 00:14:54,650
'Cause now I'm mad at you!

465
00:14:54,752 --> 00:14:56,519
You made me break up with him!

466
00:14:56,587 --> 00:14:59,952
Oh, my God. Now I have to
call Rainer... and Dylan.

467
00:15:00,335 --> 00:15:02,016
- Um... Sal,
- Oh, Sal, sweetie...

468
00:15:02,049 --> 00:15:03,498
- you gotta...
- ... you're spilling there.

469
00:15:03,523 --> 00:15:05,299
- lift it, lift it.
- Oh, clumsy, clumsy.

470
00:15:05,324 --> 00:15:07,380
I'll just make it all go away.

471
00:15:07,498 --> 00:15:09,786
- No! We are still on board.
- No, Sal.

472
00:15:09,811 --> 00:15:12,778
[Blows] We are sorry
we made you call Werner.

473
00:15:12,803 --> 00:15:15,337
We didn't [blows] know
that that was gonna happen.

474
00:15:15,440 --> 00:15:17,440
So you have to understand
that you... [blows]

475
00:15:17,465 --> 00:15:19,655
Mitchell [blows] you want to
step in here? I'm getting dizzy.

476
00:15:19,680 --> 00:15:20,654
- I am...
- [Blows]

477
00:15:20,679 --> 00:15:21,834
- Stop it!
- Okay, no more. No more matches.

478
00:15:21,859 --> 00:15:22,823
No more matches.

479
00:15:22,848 --> 00:15:23,980
Okay, what... I don't know what to do.

480
00:15:24,082 --> 00:15:25,181
Okay, well, maybe we should just...

481
00:15:25,284 --> 00:15:26,883
Werner's precious Tony Award.

482
00:15:26,985 --> 00:15:29,452
He keeps in at sea as
the ultimate aphrodisiac.

483
00:15:29,555 --> 00:15:30,857
- For women?
- [Sighs]

484
00:15:30,889 --> 00:15:33,830
<i>Auf Wiedersehen,</i>
Award for Best Orchestration.

485
00:15:33,926 --> 00:15:35,997
- Oh, my God. No. Sal, Sal. No.
- Haley, help.

486
00:15:36,068 --> 00:15:38,426
I will not tell your gay son

487
00:15:38,451 --> 00:15:40,755
that you threw a Tony into the ocean.

488
00:15:40,780 --> 00:15:41,904
- [Straining] Give it to me!
- No!

489
00:15:41,929 --> 00:15:43,429
- Aah!
- [Water splashes]

490
00:15:43,474 --> 00:15:45,346
Oh, my God. Did she fall in?

491
00:15:45,371 --> 00:15:48,331
No. I've got her right here.

492
00:15:50,458 --> 00:15:51,934
Sal, we are so sorry.

493
00:15:51,942 --> 00:15:53,461
If it wasn't for our stupid advice,

494
00:15:53,486 --> 00:15:55,680
you would've left things alone
and things might've been okay.

495
00:15:55,705 --> 00:15:57,705
- Shut up!
- Okay, okay.

496
00:15:57,774 --> 00:16:00,783
That cold water woke me
up to the hard truth...

497
00:16:00,955 --> 00:16:03,655
I'm smart, I'm beautiful,

498
00:16:03,716 --> 00:16:05,945
- I'm legendary in bed,
- Okay.

499
00:16:05,955 --> 00:16:07,447
yet I do settle.

500
00:16:07,492 --> 00:16:09,790
I mean, Werner is not
good enough for me.

501
00:16:09,815 --> 00:16:11,891
I mean, I get why you
two idiots settled.

502
00:16:11,916 --> 00:16:13,468
This is the best you're
gonna do, right here.

503
00:16:13,492 --> 00:16:14,658
You're perfectly matched.

504
00:16:14,760 --> 00:16:15,892
Both: Aww.

505
00:16:15,961 --> 00:16:17,694
Well, it's kind of sweet
when you look at it that way.

506
00:16:17,719 --> 00:16:18,764
Yeah.

507
00:16:18,789 --> 00:16:20,024
We are very lucky.

508
00:16:20,071 --> 00:16:21,137
Happy Valentine's Day.

509
00:16:21,206 --> 00:16:22,705
Yeah, happy Valentine's Day.

510
00:16:22,730 --> 00:16:25,672
Shut up. Read a room, poofs.

511
00:16:26,111 --> 00:16:27,916
Hey. Margaret said you
keep the phone records.

512
00:16:27,941 --> 00:16:29,274
Why? What do you need them for?

513
00:16:29,299 --> 00:16:30,914
I'm still trying to find out
who sent me those flowers.

514
00:16:30,939 --> 00:16:32,605
- You keep them in here?
- No, don't.

515
00:16:32,630 --> 00:16:34,292
Don't. [Clears throat]

516
00:16:34,837 --> 00:16:37,399
Ben, why do you have this
photo of me in your desk drawer?

517
00:16:37,470 --> 00:16:39,904
I think someone's pranking me, probably.

518
00:16:39,929 --> 00:16:41,829
- I'm gonna go.
- Okay.

519
00:16:41,853 --> 00:16:45,254
Wait, look. I sent the flowers, okay?

520
00:16:45,400 --> 00:16:47,158
When you temped here last summer,

521
00:16:47,181 --> 00:16:50,316
I became tempted
[chuckles] by your charms.

522
00:16:50,418 --> 00:16:53,260
Well, thank you, but aren't you like 40?

523
00:16:53,331 --> 00:16:54,663
What? I'm 26.

524
00:16:54,725 --> 00:16:57,745
I... I had a SweeTART
addiction when I was a kid

525
00:16:57,800 --> 00:17:00,407
and I permanently damaged my collagen.

526
00:17:00,440 --> 00:17:02,807
Wow. I've been in a series of bizarre,

527
00:17:02,909 --> 00:17:04,709
shame-filled relationships.

528
00:17:04,842 --> 00:17:07,276
You work for my mother.
You still live at home.

529
00:17:07,320 --> 00:17:08,396
Look at all those medications.

530
00:17:08,436 --> 00:17:09,662
- Kiss me.
- What?

531
00:17:10,537 --> 00:17:11,619
Whoa. [Chuckles]

532
00:17:11,644 --> 00:17:13,013
Okay, that was very cool,

533
00:17:13,038 --> 00:17:15,638
but you should know that I have
dedicated my life to closets,

534
00:17:15,715 --> 00:17:17,281
I am obsessed with your grandfather,

535
00:17:17,306 --> 00:17:19,803
and I sleep with a body pillow
that I put a nightgown on.

536
00:17:19,842 --> 00:17:21,541
Stop, you're making it better.

537
00:17:24,663 --> 00:17:26,329
- Here you go.
- Busy night, sir.

538
00:17:26,431 --> 00:17:27,764
I assume you have a reservation?

539
00:17:27,777 --> 00:17:29,054
Yes. My wife made it.

540
00:17:29,079 --> 00:17:30,378
She kind of dropped the ball on my gift,

541
00:17:30,447 --> 00:17:33,628
but she came through with a
table at the legendary Enrico's.

542
00:17:33,636 --> 00:17:35,334
I'm sorry, sir

543
00:17:35,359 --> 00:17:37,795
Enrico's is a couple doors down.

544
00:17:41,318 --> 00:17:42,558
So, just yourself?

545
00:17:42,583 --> 00:17:44,950
Uh, no, I'll be meeting my wife tonight.

546
00:17:44,975 --> 00:17:46,209
[Laughs]

547
00:17:46,234 --> 00:17:48,000
That's the spirit.

548
00:17:49,702 --> 00:17:52,269
[Golf plays on TV, door opens, closes]

549
00:17:52,371 --> 00:17:53,570
What'd I miss?

550
00:17:53,672 --> 00:17:56,993
This overpaid bum missed a putt.

551
00:17:57,443 --> 00:17:59,486
I'm supposed to not like this.

552
00:17:59,683 --> 00:18:01,975
[Sighs] Well, call me an idiot, Jay.

553
00:18:02,044 --> 00:18:05,189
Sure enough, Alexa and I did
end up in a hot tub together.

554
00:18:05,214 --> 00:18:06,379
But around her third beer,

555
00:18:06,404 --> 00:18:08,863
I suggested she have some
water to stay hydrated.

556
00:18:08,895 --> 00:18:10,394
She tried to shut me up by kissing me,

557
00:18:10,497 --> 00:18:13,286
which I liked, but she
kept calling me Travis.

558
00:18:13,309 --> 00:18:15,909
Oh, my God! Is it still talking?!

559
00:18:18,004 --> 00:18:19,133
Joe,

560
00:18:19,619 --> 00:18:21,929
you don't ever disrespect
your brother like that.

561
00:18:21,954 --> 00:18:24,455
And no more giving underwear
to little girls, or anyone else,

562
00:18:24,524 --> 00:18:26,199
'cause it's creepy and European.

563
00:18:26,309 --> 00:18:27,722
Now go to your room.

564
00:18:28,769 --> 00:18:31,030
Jay: It's fun when your
kids get your best qualities,

565
00:18:31,055 --> 00:18:32,644
but it's a kick in the gut

566
00:18:32,669 --> 00:18:34,934
when they pick up stuff
you hate about yourself.

567
00:18:35,003 --> 00:18:37,457
I saw that ugly, impatient part of me

568
00:18:37,473 --> 00:18:39,574
coming out of my adorable son.

569
00:18:39,599 --> 00:18:43,104
In fairness, that adorable
part also came from me.

570
00:18:43,297 --> 00:18:46,563
We both got my mom's crab-apple
cheeks and pillow lips.

571
00:18:47,201 --> 00:18:48,589
Hi, honey.

572
00:18:48,614 --> 00:18:50,040
I'm sorry I'm late.

573
00:18:50,065 --> 00:18:51,865
We had a whole incident... mwah...

574
00:18:51,933 --> 00:18:55,186
at the warehouse, a paint mixer blew up.

575
00:18:55,211 --> 00:18:58,111
Luckily I had these overalls
in my office I could...

576
00:18:58,199 --> 00:18:59,565
Oh, you're mad, aren't you?

577
00:18:59,667 --> 00:19:01,333
Mad? [Chuckles]

578
00:19:01,358 --> 00:19:03,358
I mean, was this the
best Valentine's Day

579
00:19:03,460 --> 00:19:04,993
we've ever had? No.

580
00:19:05,018 --> 00:19:06,985
Was it the worst? Yes.

581
00:19:07,131 --> 00:19:08,363
I gave you a great gift.

582
00:19:08,465 --> 00:19:10,265
I tried to surprise you at the office.

583
00:19:10,367 --> 00:19:12,100
You repaid the effort
by making a reservation

584
00:19:12,169 --> 00:19:15,092
at a truck stop and
dressing up like Tom Sawyer.

585
00:19:15,331 --> 00:19:18,101
But hey, maybe this
happens to everyone, Claire.

586
00:19:18,347 --> 00:19:20,845
Romance fizzles. Magic dies.

587
00:19:20,870 --> 00:19:23,476
At least we can mark the
exact time it happened to us,

588
00:19:23,515 --> 00:19:24,714
thanks to my new watch,

589
00:19:24,775 --> 00:19:26,875
which only a switchboard
operator from the 1950s

590
00:19:26,985 --> 00:19:28,545
could keep wound.

591
00:19:29,134 --> 00:19:31,842
You mean this watch?

592
00:19:33,784 --> 00:19:35,493
The Houdini handcuffs.

593
00:19:35,516 --> 00:19:38,788
I've been taking magic lessons
as a Valentine's surprise.

594
00:19:38,813 --> 00:19:41,705
Wait a minute. The supposed
hinge salesman at your office.

595
00:19:41,807 --> 00:19:43,373
The Great Majesto.

596
00:19:43,475 --> 00:19:45,008
Of course. I didn't recognize him

597
00:19:45,110 --> 00:19:48,104
without his floor-length robe
covered in question marks.

598
00:19:48,198 --> 00:19:51,189
And we also really do have a reservation

599
00:19:51,215 --> 00:19:52,815
at that really nice
place down the street.

600
00:19:52,840 --> 00:19:55,307
So, we should probably get your check.

601
00:19:55,409 --> 00:19:58,019
Excuse me. Can we get the check?

602
00:19:58,044 --> 00:20:01,707
But are you really dressed for...

603
00:20:04,318 --> 00:20:06,210
So wonderful.

604
00:20:06,243 --> 00:20:08,320
- I can't...
- [Laughs]

605
00:20:08,422 --> 00:20:09,622
Mwah.

606
00:20:09,724 --> 00:20:10,789
Come on, honey. We should get going.

607
00:20:10,892 --> 00:20:12,892
Wait, uh, do you have the key?

608
00:20:12,994 --> 00:20:15,498
No. But you do.

609
00:20:20,288 --> 00:20:21,813
I don't deserve you.

610
00:20:22,926 --> 00:20:25,878
Honey, you gave me a V.D.
I will carry with me always.

611
00:20:25,910 --> 00:20:27,543
Let's say "Valentine's Day."

612
00:20:27,645 --> 00:20:30,680
You know, I never thought
you'd beat my gift, but you did.

613
00:20:30,782 --> 00:20:31,848
Oh, honey.

614
00:20:31,950 --> 00:20:32,982
I'm beginning to think that mine

615
00:20:33,084 --> 00:20:34,617
was a swing and a miss.

616
00:20:34,719 --> 00:20:36,419
Hardly. Yours was fantastic.

617
00:20:36,521 --> 00:20:39,322
But how about a swing with a miss?

618
00:20:39,347 --> 00:20:42,381
- You are killing it today!
- I know!

619
00:20:42,560 --> 00:20:44,012
Did you cover that again?

620
00:20:44,037 --> 00:20:45,904
I didn't. That's weird.

621
00:20:46,498 --> 00:20:47,678
[Gasps]

622
00:20:47,703 --> 00:20:49,189
What the hell?

623
00:20:49,267 --> 00:20:52,349
I transported it to the porch.

624
00:20:53,204 --> 00:20:54,537
You're welcome.

625
00:20:56,482 --> 00:20:58,207
I didn't ask him to do that...

626
00:20:58,309 --> 00:20:59,609
or tell him where we live.

627
00:20:59,634 --> 00:21:01,140
Synced and corrected by Aaronnmb
www.addic7ed.com