1
00:00:06,528 --> 00:00:09,531
Madame Ghost Representative,
we have a cabinet meeting
2
00:00:09,661 --> 00:00:10,923
with Samantha
in the living room.
3
00:00:11,054 --> 00:00:13,622
Oh, right. Uh, thank you, Isaac.
4
00:00:13,709 --> 00:00:15,885
I mean,
5
00:00:15,972 --> 00:00:18,366
Mr. Vice Ghost Representative.
6
00:00:18,496 --> 00:00:20,585
- Mm-hmm.
- Cabinet meeting?
I didn't know the ghost rep
7
00:00:20,759 --> 00:00:22,022
actually did anything.
8
00:00:22,152 --> 00:00:24,372
That was true
under Creepy Dirk, but
9
00:00:24,459 --> 00:00:26,200
under a Montero-Higgintoot
administration,
10
00:00:26,374 --> 00:00:29,159
we will restore the position
to its original intent,
11
00:00:29,333 --> 00:00:33,294
to pester and annoy Samantha
with minor requests.
12
00:00:33,424 --> 00:00:34,860
Jay's been cooking
a lot of pancakes recently.
13
00:00:34,991 --> 00:00:36,732
Could you ask Sam to tell Jay
14
00:00:36,862 --> 00:00:38,908
that I would like to smell
something savory for breakfast?
15
00:00:38,995 --> 00:00:41,258
Trevor, it's on the agenda.
16
00:00:41,345 --> 00:00:44,914
But, uh, Flower, uh,
we were gonna go on walk.
17
00:00:45,088 --> 00:00:47,351
Remember? I want
to show you dead bee
18
00:00:47,482 --> 00:00:48,918
that die in funny position.
19
00:00:49,049 --> 00:00:52,139
Look like it dancing disco.
20
00:00:52,269 --> 00:00:56,534
Oh, right. Shoot. I...
Can we do it later?
21
00:00:58,058 --> 00:01:00,799
Yeah, okay. I mean,
if it not get eaten
22
00:01:00,930 --> 00:01:05,065
or wind not blow it
into unfunny position.
23
00:01:05,195 --> 00:01:09,373
Seems sort of risky to wait,
but okay, yeah.
24
00:01:09,504 --> 00:01:11,941
Cool. See you later, Thor.
25
00:01:12,115 --> 00:01:13,899
Man, that can't feel good.
26
00:01:14,030 --> 00:01:15,771
- What you mean?
- Well, it just seems
27
00:01:15,858 --> 00:01:17,729
like now that Flower's
big and important,
28
00:01:17,816 --> 00:01:19,557
she don't have time for you.
29
00:01:19,688 --> 00:01:21,342
- You're the Stedman
to her Oprah.
- Oof.
30
00:01:21,472 --> 00:01:23,213
That's tough, but true, Trev.
31
00:01:23,387 --> 00:01:25,563
Who is this Stead Man?
32
00:01:25,650 --> 00:01:27,565
Well, Oprah's a very successful
and powerful woman,
33
00:01:27,696 --> 00:01:30,177
and Stedman is her man
who's just kind of there.
34
00:01:30,351 --> 00:01:32,657
But Thor First Gentleman.
35
00:01:32,831 --> 00:01:34,616
And we love that for you.
36
00:01:34,746 --> 00:01:37,488
Is important role
in its own right.
37
00:01:37,619 --> 00:01:39,751
That's such
a Stedman thing to say.
38
00:01:46,410 --> 00:01:47,542
She's pulling up!
39
00:01:47,672 --> 00:01:49,065
Who's pulling up?
40
00:01:49,196 --> 00:01:51,067
Oh, you remember
that woman Paula,
41
00:01:51,198 --> 00:01:52,373
the producer
who shot an episode
42
00:01:52,460 --> 00:01:54,244
of the docuseries
Dumb Deaths here?
43
00:01:54,375 --> 00:01:55,854
Oh, yeah, you played Flower,
44
00:01:55,985 --> 00:01:57,856
and Jay got shot in the ass
with an arrow.
45
00:01:57,987 --> 00:02:00,294
That was a fun afternoon.
46
00:02:00,424 --> 00:02:01,860
Well, she wants
to scout Woodstone
47
00:02:01,991 --> 00:02:03,210
as a possible filming location
48
00:02:03,297 --> 00:02:05,125
for the upcoming season
of... Pete?
49
00:02:06,822 --> 00:02:08,519
It's Getting Hot in Here:
All Star Edition.
50
00:02:08,650 --> 00:02:13,307
By Odin's loins, yeah!
51
00:02:13,437 --> 00:02:16,179
Okay, maybe curb your excitement
a little, Thor.
52
00:02:16,310 --> 00:02:17,833
We don't want her thinking
we got bad wiring.
53
00:02:19,530 --> 00:02:21,315
Yeah, I got to run.
I just got to the location.
54
00:02:21,445 --> 00:02:24,405
It's still run-down,
but yeah, hopefully cheap.
55
00:02:24,535 --> 00:02:27,582
- Sam, Jay, good to see you.
- Hey, Paula.
56
00:02:27,669 --> 00:02:29,714
Great to see you.
I love your purse.
57
00:02:29,845 --> 00:02:31,325
Ugh, yeah, it was a splurge.
58
00:02:31,499 --> 00:02:33,196
I have a bit of
an online shopping problem.
59
00:02:33,283 --> 00:02:34,937
Every time I take an Ambien,
I black out
60
00:02:35,111 --> 00:02:36,982
and see the damage
on my doorstep the next day.
61
00:02:37,069 --> 00:02:38,114
I like this one.
62
00:02:38,245 --> 00:02:39,463
She's a spitfire.
63
00:02:39,594 --> 00:02:41,857
Excuse me. What is it?
64
00:02:41,987 --> 00:02:43,772
Well, you tell Lacey Chabert
65
00:02:43,902 --> 00:02:46,427
that we think Mrs. Claus
would wear that bathing suit,
66
00:02:46,557 --> 00:02:48,516
and if she doesn't come out
of her trailer,
67
00:02:48,646 --> 00:02:51,301
Melissa Joan Hart
is circling the parking lot.
68
00:02:51,388 --> 00:02:53,738
Sorry, I also produce
holiday rom-coms.
69
00:02:53,869 --> 00:02:55,479
Oh, my God. I love those.
70
00:02:55,610 --> 00:02:58,265
- Yeah, you fit the demo.
- Thank you.
71
00:02:58,395 --> 00:03:00,310
I don't know that
that was a compliment.
72
00:03:00,441 --> 00:03:02,356
Did you by any chance produce
Single and Ready to Kringle?
73
00:03:02,486 --> 00:03:05,315
By the skin of my teeth.
That was a tough shoot.
74
00:03:05,402 --> 00:03:07,317
Our Rudolph
got a little hoofsy on set.
75
00:03:07,404 --> 00:03:09,319
Mm. Can I take you
to your room, Paula?
76
00:03:09,493 --> 00:03:10,277
Absolutely.
77
00:03:11,843 --> 00:03:13,454
Hello?
78
00:03:13,541 --> 00:03:15,543
Because it's called
Christmas in Cabo, Lacey,
79
00:03:15,717 --> 00:03:18,850
and Mario Lopez already agreed
to wear a Speedo.
80
00:03:18,981 --> 00:03:20,983
Yeah, I want to see
how this plays out.
81
00:03:21,113 --> 00:03:23,159
Sam, this is incredible.
You should tell Paula
82
00:03:23,333 --> 00:03:25,161
about the holiday rom-com script
you've been writing.
83
00:03:25,335 --> 00:03:28,120
Polar Opposites?
Oh, I don't know.
84
00:03:28,251 --> 00:03:29,296
Yeah, Joan read it and loved it,
85
00:03:29,426 --> 00:03:31,515
and she was
a professional screenwriter.
86
00:03:31,646 --> 00:03:34,126
I just don't know if it's ready.
What if Paula doesn't like it?
87
00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:37,042
Hey, you miss 100% of the shots
you don't take.
88
00:03:37,173 --> 00:03:38,566
I said that to Jerry
once at a bar
89
00:03:38,740 --> 00:03:40,481
when he told me
there was a girl he was into,
90
00:03:40,611 --> 00:03:41,786
and he didn't think
he had a chance, and--
91
00:03:41,917 --> 00:03:43,484
Cheese and rice, that was Carol.
92
00:03:44,528 --> 00:03:46,530
Flower, I've been thinking,
93
00:03:46,704 --> 00:03:48,532
with your recent election,
it would be nice
94
00:03:48,663 --> 00:03:51,448
to honor the occasion
with some sort of gathering.
95
00:03:51,535 --> 00:03:53,189
Mm. You mean like an orgy?
96
00:03:54,190 --> 00:03:57,193
Like that, in that
there will be people there,
97
00:03:57,324 --> 00:04:00,152
but I was thinking more along
the lines of an inaugural ball.
98
00:04:00,283 --> 00:04:02,633
Flower, this is a big deal,
99
00:04:02,764 --> 00:04:04,331
and it deserves
to be acknowledged.
100
00:04:04,461 --> 00:04:06,594
I actually attended
Nixon's inauguration.
101
00:04:06,768 --> 00:04:08,291
Well, a riot outside,
102
00:04:08,378 --> 00:04:09,814
which I thought
was going to be funny
103
00:04:09,945 --> 00:04:11,903
because someone was like,
"It's a riot,"
104
00:04:12,077 --> 00:04:13,775
but it was an actual riot.
105
00:04:13,905 --> 00:04:15,864
Ladies.
106
00:04:15,994 --> 00:04:18,736
Oh, hey, Isaac. Hetty was just
telling me about the clothed,
107
00:04:18,823 --> 00:04:22,087
nonsexual inaugural ball
she wants to plan.
108
00:04:22,218 --> 00:04:24,133
Oh, that's a great idea,
and I could make some remarks.
109
00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:26,178
I could speak about
the invention of democracy,
110
00:04:26,353 --> 00:04:29,138
from Athens to Higgintoot.
111
00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:31,358
And I shan't steal
the spotlight.
112
00:04:31,445 --> 00:04:33,534
Three, three and a half
hours tops.
113
00:04:34,665 --> 00:04:38,365
Isaac, that...
that sounds wonderful.
114
00:04:38,495 --> 00:04:41,716
Unfortunately, you're
far too valuable to attend.
115
00:04:41,846 --> 00:04:44,588
- What do you mean?
- You're the designated survivor.
116
00:04:44,719 --> 00:04:47,504
God forbid, something
should happen at the ball--
117
00:04:47,635 --> 00:04:49,376
say, some sort of
mass suck-off event--
118
00:04:49,550 --> 00:04:52,596
the remaining ghosts
would require a leader.
119
00:04:52,727 --> 00:04:55,469
We simply cannot lose
both Flower and you.
120
00:04:55,599 --> 00:04:57,819
So, instead of being
a featured speaker,
121
00:04:57,993 --> 00:05:00,430
I'm just not there at all.
122
00:05:00,561 --> 00:05:02,432
Because of how important
you are.
123
00:05:03,477 --> 00:05:04,826
Makes sense.
124
00:05:04,956 --> 00:05:08,612
Just an update...
disco bee blew away.
125
00:05:08,743 --> 00:05:11,267
- Oh.
- What going on here?
126
00:05:11,398 --> 00:05:14,314
Well, I am planning
a fabulous inaugural ball
127
00:05:14,488 --> 00:05:16,446
for our Madame
Ghost Representative.
128
00:05:16,620 --> 00:05:18,970
I am not invited. Too important.
129
00:05:19,057 --> 00:05:21,930
Wait. This feel like something
130
00:05:22,060 --> 00:05:24,193
First Gentleman
should be planning.
131
00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:27,239
Oh, I didn't know you cared
about this kind of stuff.
132
00:05:27,370 --> 00:05:30,591
Well, if it
about Flower, then Thor care.
133
00:05:30,678 --> 00:05:33,681
It's just that,
as the lady of the house,
134
00:05:33,811 --> 00:05:36,466
I do have extensive experience
135
00:05:36,553 --> 00:05:38,512
planning these sorts
of upscale events.
136
00:05:39,513 --> 00:05:42,211
Well, maybe you two
could plan it together?
137
00:05:42,342 --> 00:05:43,865
- Hetty, would that be okay?
- Well, I...
138
00:05:44,039 --> 00:05:48,304
imagine it would be valuable
to have his...
139
00:05:48,435 --> 00:05:50,088
- unique perspective.
- Good.
140
00:05:50,219 --> 00:05:52,134
We plan together then.
141
00:05:52,221 --> 00:05:54,354
And trust me, Thor know parties.
142
00:05:54,528 --> 00:05:57,705
Thor once throw Viking party
where we slaughter caribou,
143
00:05:57,879 --> 00:05:59,097
drink still-warm blood,
144
00:05:59,228 --> 00:06:01,099
and then feasting
on its innards.
145
00:06:01,230 --> 00:06:04,625
Well, no idea's a bad idea.
146
00:06:05,582 --> 00:06:08,237
So, Paula, will McNair
and Jordana be back
147
00:06:08,324 --> 00:06:10,239
for It's Getting Hot in Here:
All Stars?
148
00:06:10,326 --> 00:06:12,284
Jordana, yes.
McNair, unfortunately,
149
00:06:12,415 --> 00:06:14,112
is going on next season
of Sex House,
150
00:06:14,286 --> 00:06:15,897
which frankly,
feels like no premise at all,
151
00:06:16,027 --> 00:06:17,681
but people love it.
152
00:06:17,812 --> 00:06:19,944
What has happened
to my industry?
153
00:06:20,075 --> 00:06:21,642
Knock, knock.
154
00:06:21,772 --> 00:06:23,252
Just wanted to see
how you were settling in.
155
00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:25,733
Not true.
Our girl's got an agenda.
156
00:06:25,907 --> 00:06:27,517
Everything's great.
157
00:06:27,648 --> 00:06:29,171
McNair's making the leap
to Sex House.
158
00:06:29,301 --> 00:06:31,260
- Champa's gonna freak.
- So,
159
00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:32,609
I know how you mentioned earlier
160
00:06:32,696 --> 00:06:34,916
that you produce
holiday rom-coms...
161
00:06:35,046 --> 00:06:36,700
- You got this.
- And I'm sure
you hear this all the time,
162
00:06:36,874 --> 00:06:40,530
but I am actually a writer,
and I have this script.
163
00:06:40,704 --> 00:06:42,532
- What's happening?
- Is there any chance
164
00:06:42,706 --> 00:06:44,186
you might take a look?
165
00:06:44,360 --> 00:06:46,449
Well, I don't usually read
unsolicited material.
166
00:06:46,536 --> 00:06:48,843
But for you, why not?
167
00:06:48,973 --> 00:06:51,236
Really? Thank you. Here you go.
168
00:06:51,367 --> 00:06:53,325
- No.
- What?
- Huh?
169
00:06:53,413 --> 00:06:55,023
You can't let her
read that script, Sam.
170
00:06:55,153 --> 00:06:56,720
- I thought you said
you liked it.
- I was being nice.
171
00:06:56,894 --> 00:06:59,288
If this producer reads
that script, you're done for.
172
00:06:59,462 --> 00:07:01,290
Hey, Paula, my mom's asking,
173
00:07:01,377 --> 00:07:04,859
"Will 'Brad the Assman'
be on this season?"
174
00:07:05,033 --> 00:07:07,078
It wouldn't be
All Stars without him.
175
00:07:07,209 --> 00:07:08,689
She's gonna be so happy.
176
00:07:14,390 --> 00:07:15,870
You need to get that script
back from her at all costs.
177
00:07:15,957 --> 00:07:17,524
You know, Paula,
on second thought,
178
00:07:17,654 --> 00:07:19,177
maybe I could just do
a quick typo pass.
179
00:07:19,308 --> 00:07:20,788
- Oh, I don't care about that.
- Ugh, I'm serious, Sam.
180
00:07:20,918 --> 00:07:22,790
You only get one chance
at a first impression.
181
00:07:22,920 --> 00:07:24,313
And now, I'm actually realizing,
182
00:07:24,400 --> 00:07:25,619
that's not even my script.
183
00:07:25,749 --> 00:07:26,968
That's my will.
184
00:07:27,098 --> 00:07:28,404
Jay, you're in
for some good stuff.
185
00:07:28,535 --> 00:07:29,187
Unless you're the one
who did it.
186
00:07:29,318 --> 00:07:30,275
What is happening?
187
00:07:30,406 --> 00:07:31,929
Okay, this vamping right here,
188
00:07:32,060 --> 00:07:34,192
this is gold compared to most
of her second act.
189
00:07:34,323 --> 00:07:36,847
Okay, if you want to do
one last pass, fine.
190
00:07:36,978 --> 00:07:39,546
- I have an hour in the morning
to read something.
- Thank you.
191
00:07:39,676 --> 00:07:41,417
Now, if you'll excuse me,
192
00:07:41,591 --> 00:07:43,637
I have to go see if a spray-tan
booth will fit in the pantry.
193
00:07:43,767 --> 00:07:45,552
They come out of those parkas
looking pasty.
194
00:07:45,682 --> 00:07:47,815
Love the behind-the-scenes
tidbits.
195
00:07:47,989 --> 00:07:50,600
Sam, what the hell's going on?
196
00:07:50,731 --> 00:07:51,993
Well, Joan lied to me.
197
00:07:52,123 --> 00:07:53,429
First, she told me
she loved the script,
198
00:07:53,560 --> 00:07:55,692
and now, she's saying
it's a disaster.
199
00:07:55,866 --> 00:07:58,739
I didn't say disaster.
It's just not read-ready.
200
00:07:58,826 --> 00:08:00,523
But we have
the whole rest of the night,
201
00:08:00,610 --> 00:08:02,438
and I died on a little bit
of amphetamines,
202
00:08:02,569 --> 00:08:04,092
so let's get out
your Smith Corona
203
00:08:04,222 --> 00:08:05,789
and make this puppy sing.
204
00:08:05,920 --> 00:08:08,226
Are you gonna help me do
a rewrite on Polar Opposites?
205
00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:11,012
Yeah, it's already most
of the way there, sweetheart.
206
00:08:11,186 --> 00:08:13,231
We just have to put
our two heads together,
207
00:08:13,362 --> 00:08:16,365
like in my Siamese twins comedy,
Seven Brides for Six Brothers.
208
00:08:16,452 --> 00:08:18,149
Oh, we actually
watched that one together.
209
00:08:18,280 --> 00:08:19,542
It does not hold up.
210
00:08:19,673 --> 00:08:21,631
Much like Cindy and Mindy's
shared neck.
211
00:08:22,980 --> 00:08:25,853
So, I hear you two are planning
Flower's inaugural ball.
212
00:08:26,027 --> 00:08:27,419
What are you thinking?
213
00:08:27,550 --> 00:08:30,074
Well, I am advocating
that the evening commence
214
00:08:30,248 --> 00:08:31,206
with a series of dances.
215
00:08:31,380 --> 00:08:33,077
A waltz, a quadrille,
216
00:08:33,251 --> 00:08:35,384
a polka if we're feeling frisky.
217
00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:37,604
Boring!
218
00:08:37,691 --> 00:08:39,910
First Gentleman
have better idea.
219
00:08:40,041 --> 00:08:42,391
We have Sam and Jay capture Dane
220
00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:45,046
and then watch as they throw
frozen cabbages at head.
221
00:08:45,176 --> 00:08:46,830
And I just think
222
00:08:46,917 --> 00:08:49,659
perhaps Samantha may balk
at kidnapping a Danish person.
223
00:08:49,833 --> 00:08:51,095
Doesn't have to be Dane.
224
00:08:51,269 --> 00:08:51,922
Thor would settle for
225
00:08:52,053 --> 00:08:53,228
Finn or Swede.
226
00:08:53,358 --> 00:08:54,490
Dutchman in a pinch.
227
00:08:54,621 --> 00:08:56,405
I think these are all
great ideas.
228
00:08:56,492 --> 00:08:59,277
As far as decorations
are concerned,
229
00:08:59,408 --> 00:09:01,932
I was thinking lilies,
perhaps some bunting.
230
00:09:02,063 --> 00:09:03,630
- Classic.
- Thor think
decorations
231
00:09:03,804 --> 00:09:05,240
should be more fish-based.
232
00:09:05,414 --> 00:09:06,720
Well, what a shocker.
233
00:09:06,850 --> 00:09:08,417
Oh, like, uh, like
an "Under the Sea" theme?
234
00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:10,462
No, more like fish
out of the sea
235
00:09:10,593 --> 00:09:12,290
and being smoked from rafters.
236
00:09:12,421 --> 00:09:14,554
Will be most pungent.
Perfect for party.
237
00:09:14,684 --> 00:09:15,859
We will not be having
238
00:09:15,990 --> 00:09:18,209
rotten fish carcasses
239
00:09:18,296 --> 00:09:19,820
at Flower's inaugural ball.
240
00:09:19,994 --> 00:09:22,083
Not rotten.
241
00:09:22,213 --> 00:09:25,042
Cured by cold smoke.
242
00:09:25,129 --> 00:09:28,350
You see what Thor
have to deal with here?
243
00:09:30,308 --> 00:09:32,136
Okay, okay, but hear me out,
244
00:09:32,310 --> 00:09:33,485
what if we put the scene
245
00:09:33,573 --> 00:09:34,835
where Nathan
and Jenny kiss here?
246
00:09:34,965 --> 00:09:38,012
Before the mix-up
at the peppermint factory?
247
00:09:38,099 --> 00:09:39,666
I don't like it, I love it.
248
00:09:39,796 --> 00:09:41,189
We are bippin' and boppin'.
249
00:09:41,276 --> 00:09:43,060
You really can move fast
250
00:09:43,191 --> 00:09:44,627
when you don't have to literally
cut and paste the paper.
251
00:09:44,758 --> 00:09:46,107
Just to circle back,
did you guys
252
00:09:46,237 --> 00:09:47,717
hear my pitch about
the locomotive engineer
253
00:09:47,848 --> 00:09:49,110
- being a snowman?
- Yeah,
254
00:09:49,240 --> 00:09:50,415
wouldn't the heat
from the steam engine
255
00:09:50,502 --> 00:09:51,373
make him melt?
256
00:09:51,460 --> 00:09:53,244
Okay, the mayor is a polar bear,
257
00:09:53,375 --> 00:09:55,943
but sure, let's be rigorous
about the laws of thermodynamics
258
00:09:56,073 --> 00:09:57,640
when it comes to snowmen
driving trains.
259
00:09:57,771 --> 00:10:00,904
So, that just brings us
to our ending.
260
00:10:01,035 --> 00:10:03,124
Which I think really works now.
261
00:10:03,254 --> 00:10:05,561
Y-You don't think it's a bummer
they don't end up together?
262
00:10:05,692 --> 00:10:07,607
No, that's what makes it fresh.
263
00:10:07,737 --> 00:10:09,304
Jenny chooses herself.
264
00:10:09,391 --> 00:10:11,828
It's a rom-com.
Don't reinvent the wheel.
265
00:10:11,915 --> 00:10:13,656
Just give the people
what they want.
266
00:10:13,787 --> 00:10:15,963
Okay, I think I'm gonna stick
with my ending,
267
00:10:16,093 --> 00:10:17,312
and if Paula doesn't like it,
268
00:10:17,442 --> 00:10:18,487
that is feedback
that she can give me.
269
00:10:18,618 --> 00:10:20,750
Sam, I mean it.
270
00:10:20,837 --> 00:10:22,970
A downer ending
can ruin a whole read.
271
00:10:23,100 --> 00:10:24,580
Joan, I've made my decision.
272
00:10:24,711 --> 00:10:26,800
Thank you, but I'm gonna go
print this out
273
00:10:26,930 --> 00:10:28,453
and give it to her
in the morning to read.
274
00:10:31,456 --> 00:10:33,197
This is not good, Sass.
275
00:10:33,328 --> 00:10:34,895
The ending is everything.
Sam's gonna blow this.
276
00:10:35,025 --> 00:10:37,332
Maybe Paula will like it.
277
00:10:37,419 --> 00:10:38,812
You're saying Sam
knows better than me?
278
00:10:38,942 --> 00:10:41,641
I'm saying she's alive
and might have
279
00:10:41,728 --> 00:10:42,816
her finger on the pulse...
280
00:10:42,946 --> 00:10:44,687
...you know, 'cause she has one.
281
00:10:44,818 --> 00:10:48,517
Okay, what about this?
We run a little test.
282
00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:50,780
You go into Paula's dream
and suss her out.
283
00:10:50,867 --> 00:10:53,174
See if she has any
strong feelings on happy endings
284
00:10:53,348 --> 00:10:56,220
versus that nuanced mumbo jumbo
Sam's been pitching.
285
00:10:56,351 --> 00:10:59,310
Interesting. And then we can
present Sam with the evidence.
286
00:10:59,397 --> 00:11:02,226
- Okay. Yeah. It's a good idea.
- Thank you.
287
00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:04,664
See how easy that is to say?
That something's a good idea?
288
00:11:04,794 --> 00:11:07,841
We're not doing
the snowman thing.
289
00:11:08,755 --> 00:11:10,104
Flower.
290
00:11:10,234 --> 00:11:12,193
The, uh...
planning committee
291
00:11:12,323 --> 00:11:14,195
is at an impasse, so we need
292
00:11:14,325 --> 00:11:16,763
the Ghost Representative
herself to weigh in.
293
00:11:16,893 --> 00:11:19,330
Great, let's go find her.
294
00:11:19,461 --> 00:11:20,592
Flower, that you.
295
00:11:20,723 --> 00:11:23,291
Right. Right. Oh, cool beans.
296
00:11:23,378 --> 00:11:25,423
So, as a neutral party,
297
00:11:25,554 --> 00:11:28,688
Peter will lay out our
competing visions, anonymously,
298
00:11:28,775 --> 00:11:30,777
for you to make
an unbiased opinion.
299
00:11:30,907 --> 00:11:32,604
- Sure. Works for me.
- Okay.
300
00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:35,129
I will be presenting
two very valid, viable options.
301
00:11:35,216 --> 00:11:36,565
You'll have no idea
whose is whose.
302
00:11:36,739 --> 00:11:38,262
Option A:
303
00:11:38,393 --> 00:11:40,917
we begin with dancing,
then proceed to toasts,
304
00:11:41,004 --> 00:11:42,832
followed by
the smelling of brandy.
305
00:11:43,006 --> 00:11:45,226
The room will be
festooned with lilies
306
00:11:45,356 --> 00:11:46,618
and filled with classical music.
307
00:11:46,793 --> 00:11:48,664
Hmm, that sounds nice.
308
00:11:48,795 --> 00:11:51,885
Option B, again,
completely anonymous:
309
00:11:52,015 --> 00:11:54,104
we will line the rafters
with smoked fish.
310
00:11:54,278 --> 00:11:56,541
We will humiliate someone
of Northern European descent,
311
00:11:56,672 --> 00:12:00,502
and we will smell copious
amounts of rams' testicles.
312
00:12:00,589 --> 00:12:02,156
Hmm...
313
00:12:03,505 --> 00:12:06,682
Those both sound great.
Um, let me think.
314
00:12:06,813 --> 00:12:10,077
Ooh, tough call.
I guess the first one,
315
00:12:10,207 --> 00:12:12,035
- if I have to pick.
- Damn it, Pete!
316
00:12:12,166 --> 00:12:14,603
Why you not sell Option B good?
317
00:12:14,734 --> 00:12:16,823
You totally leave out cod luge.
318
00:12:16,953 --> 00:12:19,042
I guess I wasn't clear
on what that meant exactly.
319
00:12:19,173 --> 00:12:21,044
Like, is the luge
shaped like a cod
320
00:12:21,175 --> 00:12:22,393
or do the cod slide down it?
321
00:12:22,524 --> 00:12:24,178
- Both, obviously!
- Thor!
322
00:12:24,308 --> 00:12:26,789
It does not matter
who came up with what.
323
00:12:26,876 --> 00:12:28,617
Flower herself has given us
a direction,
324
00:12:28,791 --> 00:12:30,880
and we need to honor
her decision.
325
00:12:31,011 --> 00:12:33,230
No. Thor not want
to plan party anymore,
326
00:12:33,361 --> 00:12:34,666
because apparently,
327
00:12:34,754 --> 00:12:38,235
First Gentleman
actually Worst Gentleman.
328
00:12:41,630 --> 00:12:44,894
Ugly moment but, I got to say,
nice wordplay.
329
00:12:45,068 --> 00:12:46,940
So then,
I went into Paula's dream
330
00:12:47,070 --> 00:12:49,507
to try to find out which type
of ending she prefers.
331
00:12:49,681 --> 00:12:51,161
Well, what did she say?
332
00:12:51,292 --> 00:12:52,989
He got no answer.
333
00:12:53,120 --> 00:12:55,122
She started asking for context,
and we got sidetracked.
334
00:12:55,252 --> 00:12:57,124
She had a lot of questions.
335
00:12:57,211 --> 00:12:59,039
Yeah, sure, it's hard to just
judge an ending out of context.
336
00:12:59,126 --> 00:13:01,215
We just ended up getting into
a lot more details
337
00:13:01,302 --> 00:13:02,912
that I hadn't
planned on discussing,
338
00:13:03,086 --> 00:13:04,479
and then, Mario Lopez came in
339
00:13:04,609 --> 00:13:06,524
to see if she was ready
for her massage,
340
00:13:06,655 --> 00:13:08,744
and then,
Paula asked me to leave.
341
00:13:08,875 --> 00:13:10,354
Hey, guys. Today's the big day.
342
00:13:10,528 --> 00:13:13,662
Oh, Joan, thank you so much
for all your help last night.
343
00:13:13,749 --> 00:13:15,664
I am so excited for Paula
to read the script.
344
00:13:15,795 --> 00:13:18,493
- I hope she likes it.
- I'm sure she will, kiddo.
345
00:13:18,580 --> 00:13:20,103
Yeah, and then we can all
celebrate together
346
00:13:20,234 --> 00:13:21,931
- at the inaugural ball.
- I won't be attending.
347
00:13:22,062 --> 00:13:24,934
I'll be sitting alone
in the woods. Surviving.
348
00:13:25,108 --> 00:13:26,936
Designated surviving.
349
00:13:27,067 --> 00:13:29,460
I don't care
if it's 5:00 a.m. in L.A.
350
00:13:29,547 --> 00:13:32,289
I have to tell you about
this idea I came up with.
351
00:13:32,463 --> 00:13:33,900
I'm on with the coast.
352
00:13:34,030 --> 00:13:38,034
It's a holiday rom-com
set at the North Pole,
353
00:13:38,165 --> 00:13:40,080
and get this,
it's called Polar Opposites.
354
00:13:40,167 --> 00:13:43,083
It came to me in a dream,
fully formed.
355
00:13:43,213 --> 00:13:46,608
Jenny Polar is in love
with Nathan Opposites.
356
00:13:47,914 --> 00:13:49,524
What did you do, Sass?
357
00:13:50,699 --> 00:13:52,048
It was Joan's idea.
358
00:13:57,619 --> 00:13:58,925
You went into
Paula's dream and told her
359
00:13:59,099 --> 00:14:00,709
my movie idea?
How could you guys do this?
360
00:14:00,796 --> 00:14:02,929
- I'm sorry, Sam.
- No, it's my fault.
361
00:14:03,059 --> 00:14:05,279
I-I was so desperate
to prove I was right.
362
00:14:05,366 --> 00:14:07,194
It's been so long
since I've been in the game.
363
00:14:07,324 --> 00:14:08,760
I got carried away.
364
00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:10,719
Samantha, there's
a simple solution to this.
365
00:14:10,806 --> 00:14:12,416
Just show her
your completed script.
366
00:14:12,547 --> 00:14:14,027
What would that prove?
367
00:14:14,157 --> 00:14:16,377
At best, she'll think
that I had the same idea.
368
00:14:16,507 --> 00:14:17,987
In which case,
why buy it from me?
369
00:14:18,161 --> 00:14:19,946
And at worst, she'll think
I heard her on the phone
370
00:14:20,120 --> 00:14:22,078
and had AI spit out a draft.
371
00:14:22,252 --> 00:14:24,298
A.I. Rosenberg? That guy's
still knocking around?
372
00:14:24,385 --> 00:14:26,039
He was no spring chicken
in my day.
373
00:14:26,169 --> 00:14:27,910
Okay, we can figure out
a solution.
374
00:14:28,041 --> 00:14:30,739
There is no solution.
She thinks she came up with it,
375
00:14:30,913 --> 00:14:32,393
and now, my movie's
gonna be made,
376
00:14:32,523 --> 00:14:34,090
and I will get
none of the credit.
377
00:14:34,221 --> 00:14:35,613
Not so fast.
378
00:14:35,787 --> 00:14:38,225
We had a term in my day,
"gaslight,"
379
00:14:38,399 --> 00:14:40,009
based on a 1940s film
of the same name,
380
00:14:40,183 --> 00:14:42,316
in which a husband
convinces his wife
381
00:14:42,446 --> 00:14:43,970
she's gone crazy.
382
00:14:44,057 --> 00:14:45,493
That's still very much
a term today.
383
00:14:45,623 --> 00:14:47,887
So, here's what I'm thinking,
we gaslight Paula
384
00:14:48,061 --> 00:14:49,976
into thinking
she's read your script already.
385
00:14:50,150 --> 00:14:51,586
Okay, but how do we do that?
386
00:14:51,760 --> 00:14:54,197
Oh, I know exactly how we do it.
387
00:14:54,284 --> 00:14:56,591
The seeds were planted
in the very first moments
388
00:14:56,721 --> 00:14:58,810
she arrived here at Woodstone.
389
00:14:58,941 --> 00:15:00,900
You couldn't write it
any better.
390
00:15:02,336 --> 00:15:04,033
Hey, Thor.
391
00:15:04,164 --> 00:15:05,992
Just wanted to check on you.
392
00:15:06,122 --> 00:15:08,690
You seemed pretty upset before.
393
00:15:08,820 --> 00:15:11,606
Thor not upset.
Thor just confused.
394
00:15:11,693 --> 00:15:14,217
Not sure how anyone at party
will have fun
395
00:15:14,348 --> 00:15:16,219
without fish luge.
396
00:15:16,350 --> 00:15:18,004
I guess I'm just a little
surprised you care so much
397
00:15:18,134 --> 00:15:20,006
about planning a party.
398
00:15:20,136 --> 00:15:21,355
Why?
399
00:15:21,485 --> 00:15:22,834
Thor love party.
400
00:15:22,922 --> 00:15:25,228
Some of Thor's biggest heroes
plan party.
401
00:15:25,359 --> 00:15:26,664
Sven the Reveler.
402
00:15:26,795 --> 00:15:28,057
And the Great Lisas--
403
00:15:28,188 --> 00:15:30,451
Rinna and Vanderpump.
404
00:15:31,713 --> 00:15:33,497
Thor, what's this really about?
405
00:15:34,977 --> 00:15:37,197
You Ghost Representative now,
and...
406
00:15:37,284 --> 00:15:38,502
Thor very happy for you
407
00:15:38,676 --> 00:15:42,071
but just worried
that new fancy Flower
408
00:15:42,245 --> 00:15:43,943
not need Thor anymore.
409
00:15:44,030 --> 00:15:45,857
What are you talking about?
410
00:15:45,988 --> 00:15:48,295
You need Thor spell it out?
411
00:15:48,382 --> 00:15:49,949
You Oprah,
412
00:15:50,079 --> 00:15:51,385
Thor Stedman.
413
00:15:51,515 --> 00:15:52,386
Who's Stedman?
414
00:15:52,473 --> 00:15:53,865
Exactly!
415
00:15:54,649 --> 00:15:56,477
- Oh.
- Look,
416
00:15:56,607 --> 00:15:59,959
Thor just figure that if he plan
party as First Gentleman
417
00:16:00,089 --> 00:16:01,482
that it make Thor useful.
418
00:16:01,612 --> 00:16:04,398
That he not get...
419
00:16:04,528 --> 00:16:05,660
left behind.
420
00:16:06,704 --> 00:16:08,402
Thor.
421
00:16:08,576 --> 00:16:11,622
Just because I'm a little busier
and have some big title now
422
00:16:11,709 --> 00:16:13,842
doesn't mean
you're going to get left behind.
423
00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:15,409
No?
424
00:16:15,539 --> 00:16:18,107
If anything, having more
on my plate makes me realize
425
00:16:18,194 --> 00:16:21,197
how precious
the free time I do have is.
426
00:16:21,328 --> 00:16:24,940
And I love spending
that free time with you.
427
00:16:25,071 --> 00:16:29,640
Thor love you more than
Sven the Reveler loves reveling.
428
00:16:29,727 --> 00:16:32,034
Which was kind of his thing.
429
00:16:37,909 --> 00:16:39,694
Okay, the computer's all set.
430
00:16:39,824 --> 00:16:41,087
Is Jay in position?
431
00:16:41,217 --> 00:16:42,523
Affirmative. He's ready to go.
432
00:16:42,653 --> 00:16:44,481
Let's gaslight this broad.
433
00:16:48,268 --> 00:16:50,705
Hey, Paula. I have
some fresh towels for you.
434
00:16:50,792 --> 00:16:52,098
Come on in.
435
00:16:53,490 --> 00:16:55,840
So, how are you enjoying
your stay?
436
00:16:55,971 --> 00:16:57,929
It's been very productive.
437
00:16:58,060 --> 00:17:00,149
That's great.
438
00:17:00,323 --> 00:17:03,022
Look, I, uh, got to ask,
439
00:17:03,109 --> 00:17:04,849
what did you think
of the script?
440
00:17:04,980 --> 00:17:06,242
What script?
441
00:17:06,373 --> 00:17:07,461
Polar Opposites.
442
00:17:07,591 --> 00:17:08,984
What?
443
00:17:09,115 --> 00:17:10,638
What are you talking about?
444
00:17:10,768 --> 00:17:12,988
Did you hear me talking
about that earlier?
445
00:17:13,162 --> 00:17:15,425
I'm confused. That's the script
I gave you to read last night.
446
00:17:17,340 --> 00:17:18,559
Hey, Paula.
447
00:17:18,689 --> 00:17:19,603
You got a delivery.
448
00:17:19,690 --> 00:17:20,822
I did?
449
00:17:20,952 --> 00:17:21,910
Now go, go.
450
00:17:22,041 --> 00:17:22,911
I didn't order anything.
451
00:17:23,085 --> 00:17:24,304
And I don't know
452
00:17:24,434 --> 00:17:26,175
what you're talking about
with a script.
453
00:17:26,306 --> 00:17:29,613
I had a dream about a movie,
Polar Opposites.
454
00:17:29,744 --> 00:17:30,962
But it was my idea.
455
00:17:31,093 --> 00:17:31,833
Paula, I don't want to be rude,
456
00:17:31,920 --> 00:17:34,053
but are you gaslighting me?
457
00:17:34,140 --> 00:17:35,619
What? No.
458
00:17:35,750 --> 00:17:36,620
I think I might know
459
00:17:36,794 --> 00:17:37,491
what happened here.
460
00:17:37,665 --> 00:17:39,449
Um, is it possible
461
00:17:39,580 --> 00:17:41,147
that you may have taken
an Ambien last night?
462
00:17:41,277 --> 00:17:43,149
I don't remember
taking an Ambien.
463
00:17:43,279 --> 00:17:44,889
You guys are monsters.
464
00:17:45,020 --> 00:17:46,587
- Well done.
- Yeah.
465
00:17:46,717 --> 00:17:48,893
Didn't you say that sometimes
when you take an Ambien
466
00:17:49,024 --> 00:17:50,765
you kind of black out
and online shop?
467
00:17:50,939 --> 00:17:51,809
Mm.
468
00:17:51,940 --> 00:17:53,594
That would explain the delivery.
469
00:17:53,724 --> 00:17:56,423
Uh, I didn't order anything.
470
00:17:56,510 --> 00:17:58,033
Oh, but there's
a bunch of purses for sale
471
00:17:58,164 --> 00:17:59,339
on your computer.
472
00:17:59,426 --> 00:18:00,514
Mm.
473
00:18:00,644 --> 00:18:01,471
Ugh.
474
00:18:01,558 --> 00:18:03,256
That's weird.
475
00:18:03,386 --> 00:18:05,606
I usually have much better taste
when I black out.
476
00:18:05,736 --> 00:18:07,651
Jay got that for Sam
for their last anniversary.
477
00:18:07,825 --> 00:18:10,350
Ooh. Swing and a miss.
478
00:18:10,480 --> 00:18:11,699
Oh, my God!
479
00:18:13,004 --> 00:18:15,964
"Polar Opposites. Screenplay
by Samantha Arondekar.
480
00:18:16,095 --> 00:18:18,184
A Samantha Arondekar joint"?
481
00:18:19,054 --> 00:18:22,101
- Maybe I should...
refamiliarize myself.
- Of course.
482
00:18:22,231 --> 00:18:23,580
Take your time.
483
00:18:23,711 --> 00:18:25,016
Uh, and just for
what it's worth,
484
00:18:25,147 --> 00:18:26,540
I really like the purse.
485
00:18:26,627 --> 00:18:28,411
I think you can wear it
for a fancy night out
486
00:18:28,498 --> 00:18:31,545
or, you know, even a casual trip
to the grocery store.
487
00:18:31,675 --> 00:18:32,546
It's dog crap.
488
00:18:32,676 --> 00:18:33,590
Let her read.
489
00:18:35,636 --> 00:18:37,594
Well? What did you think?
490
00:18:37,681 --> 00:18:39,770
I'm completely sober
and I still love it.
491
00:18:39,901 --> 00:18:41,772
You are one hell
of a writer, young lady.
492
00:18:41,903 --> 00:18:43,252
That's a relief.
493
00:18:43,383 --> 00:18:44,993
But I can't take all the credit.
494
00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:46,560
- What do you mean?
- I owe
495
00:18:46,647 --> 00:18:48,692
a debt to the trailblazing
female screenwriters
496
00:18:48,823 --> 00:18:49,737
who came before me.
497
00:18:49,824 --> 00:18:50,825
Okay.
498
00:18:50,999 --> 00:18:52,131
It was all you, Sam.
499
00:18:52,218 --> 00:18:54,220
I just helped flesh it out
a little.
500
00:18:54,350 --> 00:18:55,264
I do have one note though.
501
00:18:55,438 --> 00:18:56,483
The ending.
502
00:18:56,657 --> 00:18:57,919
It's a bit of a bummer.
503
00:18:58,049 --> 00:18:59,921
Really? I thought
it might be, you know,
504
00:19:00,051 --> 00:19:01,314
- fresher if--
- No, no, no.
505
00:19:01,488 --> 00:19:02,880
You want fresh,
work at a farmers market.
506
00:19:03,054 --> 00:19:05,666
We want the girl to get the guy,
the guy to get the girl,
507
00:19:05,753 --> 00:19:08,930
and Mario Lopez to show up
at the midpoint in a Speedo.
508
00:19:09,060 --> 00:19:10,061
I'm not joking.
509
00:19:10,192 --> 00:19:11,411
He's got a two-picture deal.
510
00:19:11,498 --> 00:19:12,673
Make that happen.
511
00:19:12,847 --> 00:19:13,891
That's a good note, Paula.
512
00:19:14,065 --> 00:19:15,328
People love a happy ending.
513
00:19:15,458 --> 00:19:17,025
Mm. Remember?
That's what I was saying.
514
00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:18,896
So Mario Lopez
515
00:19:19,027 --> 00:19:20,333
in a Speedo at the North Pole
in the middle of winter
516
00:19:20,463 --> 00:19:22,465
makes more sense
than my snowman pitch?
517
00:19:22,596 --> 00:19:25,381
- Yes.
- Yeah, I'm gonna watch
the crap out of this movie.
518
00:19:31,561 --> 00:19:32,867
Thank you, guys, so much.
I had a really groovy time
519
00:19:32,997 --> 00:19:34,434
at my inaugural ball.
520
00:19:34,521 --> 00:19:36,044
Got to hand it to you, Hetty.
521
00:19:36,131 --> 00:19:39,178
That was best non-orgy party
Thor ever attend.
522
00:19:39,308 --> 00:19:40,440
Aw.
523
00:19:40,570 --> 00:19:43,051
And I am personally glad
we ended up going
524
00:19:43,138 --> 00:19:44,705
with your hanging cod idea.
525
00:19:44,835 --> 00:19:47,098
It was a pungent addition
526
00:19:47,229 --> 00:19:50,101
to an otherwise aromatically
conventional affair.
527
00:19:50,276 --> 00:19:51,581
Hey!
528
00:19:51,712 --> 00:19:53,366
Hey, babe. I'm trying
to make cod for dinner,
529
00:19:53,496 --> 00:19:54,715
- but there's none
in the freezer.
- Yeah,
530
00:19:54,845 --> 00:19:55,846
it's hanging from the rafters
in the ballroom.
531
00:19:55,977 --> 00:19:57,935
- Okay.
- Anyway,
532
00:19:58,066 --> 00:19:59,372
big news. Paula emailed
533
00:19:59,502 --> 00:20:01,417
and we are officially booked
to host
534
00:20:01,591 --> 00:20:03,680
It's Getting Hot in Here:
All Stars.
535
00:20:03,854 --> 00:20:05,073
What?!
536
00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:06,640
It getting hot in here?
537
00:20:06,770 --> 00:20:07,858
Yes.
538
00:20:07,989 --> 00:20:09,643
My mom is gonna freak out
539
00:20:09,773 --> 00:20:11,035
if I get to meet Skylar L.
540
00:20:11,122 --> 00:20:12,298
And, also,
541
00:20:12,472 --> 00:20:13,516
Paula confirmed
that she submitted
542
00:20:13,647 --> 00:20:15,083
my screenplay to the studio.
543
00:20:15,214 --> 00:20:17,390
And, apparently,
they're "excited to read."
544
00:20:17,520 --> 00:20:19,827
Yes! Oh, babe,
I'm so proud of you.
545
00:20:19,914 --> 00:20:20,915
Oof.
546
00:20:21,045 --> 00:20:22,482
Isaac's gonna be so jealous
547
00:20:22,569 --> 00:20:24,048
Polar Opposites
might be made into a movie
548
00:20:24,179 --> 00:20:25,006
before his vampire book.
549
00:20:25,093 --> 00:20:26,312
I want to tell him.
550
00:20:26,442 --> 00:20:27,748
Hold on. Where is Isaac?
551
00:20:27,922 --> 00:20:29,619
Did anyone tell him
that the ball is over?
552
00:20:29,750 --> 00:20:30,707
I mean, it ended
553
00:20:30,838 --> 00:20:31,969
three hours ago.
554
00:20:32,100 --> 00:20:33,884
I'm sure
he figured it out by now.
555
00:20:34,015 --> 00:20:37,627
♪ I'm a Yankee Doodle dandy ♪
556
00:20:37,758 --> 00:20:40,935
♪ Yankee Doodle do or die. ♪
557
00:20:47,289 --> 00:20:49,030
Captioning sponsored by
CBS
558
00:20:49,160 --> 00:20:50,988
and TOYOTA.
559
00:20:51,119 --> 00:20:53,252
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org