1 00:00:19,501 --> 00:00:21,002 With the stars... 2 00:00:25,841 --> 00:00:27,675 and... 3 00:00:41,023 --> 00:00:42,790 Did you find a ball, Ralph? 4 00:00:42,858 --> 00:00:45,560 No, I can't find it in there. 5 00:00:45,628 --> 00:00:48,329 Well, a ball just can't disappear. 6 00:00:48,397 --> 00:00:49,897 Well, it disappeared, so let's forget about it. 7 00:00:49,965 --> 00:00:51,999 I'll play you another game some other time. 8 00:00:52,067 --> 00:00:54,469 Oh no, you won't. I got you 19 to 2. 9 00:00:54,536 --> 00:00:57,205 All I need is two more points and I won a dime from you. 10 00:00:57,272 --> 00:01:00,241 We lost the ball and there aren't any more balls left. 11 00:01:00,309 --> 00:01:02,577 I don't know how we could lose three balls in one game. 12 00:01:02,644 --> 00:01:04,579 It always happens when I play with you. 13 00:01:04,646 --> 00:01:05,846 Doesn't make any difference. 14 00:01:05,914 --> 00:01:07,582 We're gonna start the meeting anyway. 15 00:01:07,649 --> 00:01:09,783 All right, will you just give me the dime? I got you beat. 16 00:01:09,851 --> 00:01:12,536 What do you mean, give you a dime, you got me beat? 17 00:01:12,604 --> 00:01:14,605 19 points don't win this game. 18 00:01:14,672 --> 00:01:16,807 21 points win the game. 19 00:01:16,875 --> 00:01:17,941 I just let you get ahead 20 00:01:18,010 --> 00:01:19,576 to make it interesting, that's all. 21 00:01:19,644 --> 00:01:21,012 If we had another ball, 22 00:01:21,079 --> 00:01:23,247 I would have started my "A" game. 23 00:01:23,315 --> 00:01:26,817 Then I would have beaten you, 21 to 19. 24 00:01:26,885 --> 00:01:28,986 But you don't hear me asking you for a dime. 25 00:01:29,054 --> 00:01:31,389 That's something you gotta learn, Norton. 26 00:01:31,456 --> 00:01:32,990 You gotta learn... 27 00:01:33,058 --> 00:01:35,226 that it isn't always important to win. 28 00:01:35,293 --> 00:01:38,129 Just play the game for the sake of the game. 29 00:01:38,196 --> 00:01:40,231 Win or lose, be a good sport. 30 00:01:40,298 --> 00:01:41,199 Yeah. 31 00:01:41,350 --> 00:01:42,383 All right, all right. 32 00:01:42,451 --> 00:01:44,018 Forget about the dime. Forget about... 33 00:01:44,085 --> 00:01:45,119 Give me a match. 34 00:01:45,187 --> 00:01:46,554 Oh, sure, pal. 35 00:01:56,865 --> 00:02:00,300 How in the world could they have gotten in there? 36 00:02:00,368 --> 00:02:03,070 I'll give you three guesses, the first two don't count. 37 00:02:03,138 --> 00:02:05,139 Shut up and serve! 38 00:02:08,043 --> 00:02:09,977 Now this time if the ball goes off the table, 39 00:02:10,045 --> 00:02:11,445 let me look for it, will you? 40 00:02:11,513 --> 00:02:13,647 Don't give me any instructions. Just serve. 41 00:02:20,138 --> 00:02:22,673 Will you come on and serve! 44 00:02:30,749 --> 00:02:32,817 That's 20. That's 20. 45 00:02:32,884 --> 00:02:34,384 Wait a minute! Wait a minute! 46 00:02:34,452 --> 00:02:35,786 That was an illegal serve. 47 00:02:35,854 --> 00:02:38,155 I can serve any way I want as long as the ball bounces 48 00:02:38,223 --> 00:02:40,224 on my side of the net and it bounces on your side. 49 00:02:40,291 --> 00:02:42,359 That serve doesn't count. I wasn't ready. 50 00:02:42,427 --> 00:02:44,328 I don't care. When the serve was served, 51 00:02:44,395 --> 00:02:46,480 the receiver's got to be ready at all time. 52 00:02:46,598 --> 00:02:48,932 Come on, point... Come on, point game here coming up. 53 00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:50,801 You ready? 54 00:02:51,436 --> 00:02:53,487 I'm ready. 55 00:02:53,555 --> 00:02:57,207 Ready? I think I'll wind up the proceedings here 56 00:02:57,275 --> 00:03:01,979 with Norton's famous mystery atomic cannonball. 57 00:03:03,081 --> 00:03:04,281 Oh! 58 00:03:06,952 --> 00:03:09,587 Put 'em up, Norton! Put 'em up. 59 00:03:09,655 --> 00:03:11,188 Just put 'em up! 60 00:03:11,256 --> 00:03:13,574 Wait, wait, we're playing for the game's sake, you know. 61 00:03:13,642 --> 00:03:15,743 Win or lose, you gotta be a good sport. 62 00:03:15,811 --> 00:03:17,578 Never mind about that sport stuff. 63 00:03:17,646 --> 00:03:19,062 Just put 'em up! 64 00:03:19,130 --> 00:03:20,498 Well, Norton, beat him again, huh? 65 00:03:20,565 --> 00:03:22,667 Beat me again, huh? Not if he played fair! 66 00:03:22,734 --> 00:03:24,502 I could beat him with both hands tied. 67 00:03:24,569 --> 00:03:26,069 Yeah, if they were my hands that were tied. 68 00:03:26,137 --> 00:03:27,338 Oh, you're a riot. 69 00:03:27,406 --> 00:03:29,239 Come now, no hard feelings. 70 00:03:29,308 --> 00:03:30,775 Remember we are Racoons, 71 00:03:30,842 --> 00:03:33,611 and all raccoons are brothers under the pelt. 72 00:03:33,679 --> 00:03:35,179 Now, forget your differences, 73 00:03:35,246 --> 00:03:37,315 and let's have the Racoon handshake. 74 00:03:38,417 --> 00:03:40,484 Come on, the Racoon handshake! 75 00:03:41,820 --> 00:03:42,820 Aah... 76 00:03:47,225 --> 00:03:48,859 All right, boys, let's get this table 77 00:03:48,927 --> 00:03:50,127 out of here now, come on. 78 00:03:50,195 --> 00:03:52,663 Let's get the meeting started, hurry up! 79 00:03:52,731 --> 00:03:53,664 That's it. 80 00:03:53,732 --> 00:03:54,998 Boy, oh, boy, I'm telling you. 81 00:03:55,066 --> 00:03:56,266 You ever hear of a guy losing 82 00:03:56,335 --> 00:03:57,901 three Ping-Pong balls in his pocket? 83 00:03:57,969 --> 00:03:59,804 You shouldn't play Ping-Pong with him. 84 00:03:59,871 --> 00:04:00,938 You're too good. 85 00:04:01,005 --> 00:04:01,822 You're right, I shouldn't. 86 00:04:01,890 --> 00:04:03,340 I'll just stick to playing Ping-Pong 87 00:04:03,408 --> 00:04:05,042 during my lunch hour down in the sewer. 88 00:04:05,110 --> 00:04:07,044 You play Ping-Pong in the sewer? 89 00:04:07,112 --> 00:04:08,546 Yeah. It's the only game we can play 90 00:04:08,614 --> 00:04:11,115 with a ball that can float! 91 00:04:11,182 --> 00:04:12,149 All right, fellas, come on. 92 00:04:12,216 --> 00:04:13,884 Let's get our places here now, huh? 93 00:04:13,952 --> 00:04:15,619 Get this meeting started here. 94 00:04:18,089 --> 00:04:19,690 All right, gentlemen... 95 00:04:19,758 --> 00:04:24,394 I now call this meeting of the Racoon Lodge to order. 96 00:04:24,462 --> 00:04:27,731 Gentlemen, the traditional Racoon salute. 97 00:04:28,567 --> 00:04:31,318 ( all whooping ) 98 00:04:31,386 --> 00:04:33,738 Now, for the first order of business, 99 00:04:33,805 --> 00:04:35,839 we'll hear a report from Brother Kramden, 100 00:04:35,841 --> 00:04:37,591 who last month volunteered to take charge 101 00:04:37,659 --> 00:04:39,192 of the drive for new members. 102 00:04:39,260 --> 00:04:40,361 Brother Kramden? Thank you. 103 00:04:41,429 --> 00:04:42,729 Uh, Mr. President... 104 00:04:42,797 --> 00:04:44,799 members of the Racoon Lodge, 105 00:04:44,866 --> 00:04:49,036 as you know, this month we were to have a drive 106 00:04:49,103 --> 00:04:52,139 to reach a quota of 50 new members. 107 00:04:52,207 --> 00:04:54,141 However, because of the fact 108 00:04:54,209 --> 00:04:55,943 that we have not reached the quota, 109 00:04:56,011 --> 00:04:59,280 I suggest that we continue the drive for another week. 110 00:04:59,347 --> 00:05:01,048 Well, uh, how many more applicants 111 00:05:01,116 --> 00:05:03,433 do we need to fill our quota of 50 new members? 112 00:05:03,501 --> 00:05:05,469 Fifty. 113 00:05:05,536 --> 00:05:07,321 We-we have no new members? 114 00:05:07,389 --> 00:05:08,872 This-this is very disappointing! 115 00:05:08,940 --> 00:05:10,507 ( clearing throat ): Mr. President... 116 00:05:10,576 --> 00:05:11,842 Yes, Brother Norton? 117 00:05:11,910 --> 00:05:14,111 As much as I hate to pay a compliment 118 00:05:14,179 --> 00:05:17,815 to the fat chairman of the drive... 119 00:05:17,883 --> 00:05:19,316 ( clears throat ) 120 00:05:19,384 --> 00:05:21,953 I think that we all owe him a vote of thanks 121 00:05:22,020 --> 00:05:23,454 for the vast improvement 122 00:05:23,521 --> 00:05:25,656 made over last year's member drive. 123 00:05:25,724 --> 00:05:27,658 But he didn't bring in one new member! 124 00:05:27,726 --> 00:05:31,195 I know, but last year we lost three of the old members. 125 00:05:32,464 --> 00:05:34,098 Oh, yes, well, I, uh, I guess 126 00:05:34,165 --> 00:05:36,133 I owe you an apology, Brother Kramden. 127 00:05:36,201 --> 00:05:37,434 Apology is accepted. 128 00:05:37,502 --> 00:05:40,203 Unfortunately, though, I, uh, I don't think 129 00:05:40,271 --> 00:05:43,173 that extending the drive another week is the answer. 130 00:05:43,241 --> 00:05:45,993 There must be some reason we're not getting new members. 131 00:05:46,061 --> 00:05:48,579 I suggest we look at all the possibilities. 132 00:05:48,647 --> 00:05:51,148 Ah, first of all, what are the requirements 133 00:05:51,215 --> 00:05:52,817 that a new member must go through 134 00:05:52,884 --> 00:05:54,852 before he can be entered into the lodge? 135 00:05:54,920 --> 00:05:56,186 Oh, well, let's, uh, let's see. 136 00:05:56,254 --> 00:05:58,355 That's section two of our rules and bylaws. 137 00:05:58,423 --> 00:06:00,491 Here, Brother Kramden, you read that. 138 00:06:00,559 --> 00:06:01,559 All right. 139 00:06:01,626 --> 00:06:02,726 ( clears throat ) 140 00:06:02,794 --> 00:06:05,095 All applicants applying for membership 141 00:06:05,163 --> 00:06:06,831 in the Royal Order of Racoons 142 00:06:06,898 --> 00:06:09,266 must meet with the following requirements: 143 00:06:09,334 --> 00:06:10,768 Number one, 144 00:06:10,836 --> 00:06:14,672 applicant must have earned a public school diploma. 145 00:06:14,739 --> 00:06:17,942 Two, he must have resided in the United States 146 00:06:18,009 --> 00:06:19,543 for the last six months. 147 00:06:19,611 --> 00:06:23,080 Three, he must pay a dollar and a half initiation fee. 148 00:06:23,147 --> 00:06:24,515 ( clearing throat ): Excuse me. 149 00:06:24,582 --> 00:06:25,850 There's your trouble right there. 150 00:06:25,917 --> 00:06:27,284 The requirements are too tough. 151 00:06:29,287 --> 00:06:30,554 They're not too tough. 152 00:06:30,622 --> 00:06:32,523 You belong to the lodge, don't you? 153 00:06:32,590 --> 00:06:33,724 Oh, now, here, come on. 154 00:06:33,792 --> 00:06:35,492 Order, order, Brothers! 155 00:06:35,560 --> 00:06:38,763 Brother Norton, I don't think that's the cause of our trouble. 156 00:06:38,830 --> 00:06:40,164 Excuse me, Mr. President. 157 00:06:40,231 --> 00:06:41,565 I hate to disagree with the president, 158 00:06:41,632 --> 00:06:43,701 but take that requirement number two. 159 00:06:43,768 --> 00:06:46,536 Well, it says that you gotta be a resident of the United States 160 00:06:46,604 --> 00:06:49,973 for at least six months before you can apply for membership. 161 00:06:50,041 --> 00:06:51,308 Well, what about it? 162 00:06:51,375 --> 00:06:52,542 What about it? 163 00:06:52,610 --> 00:06:54,611 On account of that silly rule, 164 00:06:54,679 --> 00:06:57,447 Anthony Eden could never become a Racoon! 165 00:06:57,515 --> 00:06:59,116 Anthony? 166 00:06:59,184 --> 00:07:00,684 Mr. President... 167 00:07:00,752 --> 00:07:03,921 Brother Kramden-- Brother Norton is a nut! 168 00:07:03,988 --> 00:07:05,488 I have the floor, you're out of order. 169 00:07:05,556 --> 00:07:08,258 The only thing out of order here is your head. 170 00:07:08,326 --> 00:07:11,796 Brothers, Brothers, this is getting us no place. 171 00:07:11,863 --> 00:07:13,363 Let's face the facts. 172 00:07:13,431 --> 00:07:17,484 There must be plenty of eligible... uh, comp, uh... uh... 173 00:07:17,552 --> 00:07:18,485 Applicants. 174 00:07:18,553 --> 00:07:19,720 Applicants. I'm sorry, 175 00:07:19,788 --> 00:07:21,522 so I couldn't think of the word. 176 00:07:21,589 --> 00:07:24,591 And it's all your own fault for not bringing them in. 177 00:07:24,660 --> 00:07:27,194 Well, I'll bet there isn't a man in this room 178 00:07:27,262 --> 00:07:29,964 that couldn't bring in two or three of his fellow workers with him. 179 00:07:30,032 --> 00:07:31,365 How about you, Norton? 180 00:07:31,432 --> 00:07:33,117 Well, Mr. President, I guess you're right. 181 00:07:33,184 --> 00:07:34,919 I haven't been trying hard enough to get 182 00:07:34,986 --> 00:07:37,387 some of the fellas that work with me down in the sewer. 183 00:07:37,455 --> 00:07:38,889 I should have come up with a few. 184 00:07:38,957 --> 00:07:41,225 Yeah. 185 00:07:41,292 --> 00:07:42,559 And, uh... 186 00:07:42,627 --> 00:07:44,394 I ain't got no excuse and I'm sorry. 187 00:07:44,462 --> 00:07:46,030 All right, sir. And you, Andrews? 188 00:07:46,098 --> 00:07:48,365 Well, there are plenty of guys at the brewery. 189 00:07:48,433 --> 00:07:50,434 There's no reason I couldn't bring in one or two. 190 00:07:50,501 --> 00:07:51,702 I ain't got no excuse. 191 00:07:51,770 --> 00:07:53,137 And you, Driven? 192 00:07:53,205 --> 00:07:55,773 Driven's the only one with a legitimate excuse. 193 00:07:55,840 --> 00:07:57,207 He's an undertaker. 194 00:07:57,275 --> 00:08:00,277 ( all laughing ) 195 00:08:00,344 --> 00:08:02,546 Just a little levity to break the tension. 196 00:08:02,614 --> 00:08:03,747 All right, we'll just... 197 00:08:03,815 --> 00:08:05,716 we'll just have to do better next time. 198 00:08:05,784 --> 00:08:07,685 Now, for the second order of business, 199 00:08:07,752 --> 00:08:10,420 it gives me great pleasure to remind you brothers 200 00:08:10,455 --> 00:08:11,805 that next Sunday is the day 201 00:08:11,873 --> 00:08:14,191 of the Racoon Lodge's annual fishing trip. 202 00:08:14,259 --> 00:08:16,193 ( all cheering ) 203 00:08:16,261 --> 00:08:19,396 And I'd like to report also that like last year, 204 00:08:19,463 --> 00:08:22,750 Brother Muldoon will bring the beer 205 00:08:22,818 --> 00:08:25,152 and Brother Havameyer will supply the knotwurst. 206 00:08:25,220 --> 00:08:27,488 ( all cheering ) 207 00:08:27,556 --> 00:08:29,856 Now, in the past years, we've always tried 208 00:08:29,924 --> 00:08:32,626 to make our fishing trips better than the year before. 209 00:08:32,694 --> 00:08:34,878 However, this year, there's been a consensus 210 00:08:34,946 --> 00:08:36,796 that we should leave our wives at home. 211 00:08:36,865 --> 00:08:38,698 However, we must take a vote on that. 212 00:08:38,766 --> 00:08:41,752 Now, all those in favor of not bringing their wives, 213 00:08:41,819 --> 00:08:43,487 raise their hand. 214 00:08:45,123 --> 00:08:48,125 Now, all those in favor of bringing their wives, 215 00:08:48,193 --> 00:08:49,860 raise their hand. 216 00:08:51,363 --> 00:08:53,864 What's the matter with you? Why are you voting twice? 217 00:08:53,931 --> 00:08:56,717 I want to make sure that Trixie ain't goin'. 218 00:08:56,785 --> 00:08:58,385 But what's that got to do with it? 219 00:08:58,453 --> 00:09:00,421 Well, when she finds out she ain't goin', 220 00:09:00,488 --> 00:09:03,424 I want to be able say I voted for her goin'. 221 00:09:03,491 --> 00:09:05,258 You see... Will you sit down! 222 00:09:05,326 --> 00:09:08,161 The motion is passed unanimously. 223 00:09:08,229 --> 00:09:11,598 The wives stay at home. Yes, Brother Kramden? 224 00:09:11,666 --> 00:09:13,651 Mr. President and members, as you know, 225 00:09:13,718 --> 00:09:16,787 for the last seven years we have unanimously voted 226 00:09:16,854 --> 00:09:19,256 to keep the women off of the fishing trip. 227 00:09:19,324 --> 00:09:21,258 I make a motion now 228 00:09:21,326 --> 00:09:24,261 that we vote to tell 'em about it this year. 229 00:09:24,329 --> 00:09:27,364 Well, who seconds that motion? 230 00:09:28,950 --> 00:09:31,401 Well, isn't anybody gonna second it? 231 00:09:31,469 --> 00:09:34,004 Huh! Sure. 232 00:09:34,072 --> 00:09:36,707 Sure. Just as I figured. 233 00:09:36,774 --> 00:09:38,342 You all vote that the women 234 00:09:38,409 --> 00:09:40,677 are not coming on the fishing trip. 235 00:09:40,745 --> 00:09:42,512 Big men! 236 00:09:42,580 --> 00:09:45,049 But what does it mean? Nothin'! 237 00:09:45,116 --> 00:09:47,084 Because when it's time to face your wife, 238 00:09:47,152 --> 00:09:50,554 you all back down and give in, that's why! 239 00:09:50,621 --> 00:09:53,357 It's time to ask yourself a question. 240 00:09:53,424 --> 00:09:55,960 Are the Racoons mice or men? 241 00:09:56,027 --> 00:09:57,861 Ah, wait a minute, Kramden! 242 00:09:57,929 --> 00:10:00,764 How come your wife is always on the fishing trip? 243 00:10:00,832 --> 00:10:03,867 Because I let her come, that's why. 244 00:10:03,935 --> 00:10:05,769 Because I let her come, that's why! 245 00:10:05,837 --> 00:10:07,771 And do you know why I let her come? 246 00:10:07,839 --> 00:10:12,709 I didn't want to show you guys up, that's why! 247 00:10:12,777 --> 00:10:14,328 Now, look. 248 00:10:14,395 --> 00:10:16,330 I'm gonna say something to you men, 249 00:10:16,397 --> 00:10:18,798 and you'd better listen to it because it's important. 250 00:10:18,866 --> 00:10:21,135 Every time you get into 251 00:10:21,202 --> 00:10:23,170 the habit of saying yes to your wife, 252 00:10:23,238 --> 00:10:27,608 you're getting into the habit of saying no to your independence. 253 00:10:27,675 --> 00:10:30,043 It's time to make a decision, men. 254 00:10:30,111 --> 00:10:33,947 Are you going to retreat into the darkness of slavery?! 255 00:10:34,015 --> 00:10:36,183 Or are you going to advance?! 256 00:10:36,251 --> 00:10:38,418 Advance into the sunshine of freedom?! 257 00:10:38,486 --> 00:10:40,104 ( all cheering ) 258 00:10:40,171 --> 00:10:42,973 I say, advance! 259 00:10:43,040 --> 00:10:44,841 This is our last chance. 260 00:10:44,909 --> 00:10:47,878 If we let these women take over our fishing trip, 261 00:10:47,946 --> 00:10:50,847 we are through. All is lost! 262 00:10:50,916 --> 00:10:52,983 Remember, today it's the fishing trip, 263 00:10:53,051 --> 00:10:55,119 tomorrow it'll be the pool room! 264 00:10:55,186 --> 00:10:58,104 He's right! I second Kramden's vote. 265 00:10:58,173 --> 00:10:59,506 We're with you, Ralph! 266 00:10:59,574 --> 00:11:01,141 We'll show 'em who's boss! 267 00:11:01,209 --> 00:11:03,243 Oh, gentlemen, this is a great night 268 00:11:03,311 --> 00:11:05,078 in the history of the Racoons. 269 00:11:05,146 --> 00:11:06,513 Say, how about a poker game 270 00:11:06,581 --> 00:11:08,448 as a declaration of our independence? 271 00:11:08,516 --> 00:11:10,116 The beer and the pretzels are on me. 272 00:11:10,184 --> 00:11:11,852 ( all cheering ) 273 00:11:11,920 --> 00:11:14,320 Thank you very much, Mr. President. Thank you, men. 274 00:11:14,388 --> 00:11:17,157 Boy, Ralphie, I gotta hand it to you. 275 00:11:17,225 --> 00:11:19,059 You're a rotten Ping-Pong player, 276 00:11:19,127 --> 00:11:21,028 but you make a good speech maker. 277 00:11:21,096 --> 00:11:22,897 If you were 90 pounds lighter, 278 00:11:22,964 --> 00:11:26,166 the boys would have carried you out on their shoulders. 279 00:11:26,234 --> 00:11:28,369 Come on, let's play a little poker, pal. 280 00:11:28,436 --> 00:11:31,138 No, you go ahead. I don't want to play. 281 00:11:31,206 --> 00:11:32,739 But you like poker. 282 00:11:32,807 --> 00:11:36,810 I know, but Alice told me to be sure and be home at 10:30. 283 00:11:55,780 --> 00:11:59,833 Look, Alice, you might as well get this into your head. 284 00:11:59,901 --> 00:12:03,003 A fishing trip is just like a Turkish bath. 285 00:12:03,070 --> 00:12:04,905 It's for men only. 286 00:12:09,476 --> 00:12:11,378 I catch the fish... 287 00:12:11,446 --> 00:12:13,346 you cook the fish. 288 00:12:13,414 --> 00:12:18,285 The only time we're together is when we eat the fish. 289 00:12:18,352 --> 00:12:22,455 So, it's final, it's settled and it's over and done with. 290 00:12:22,523 --> 00:12:25,658 You are not going on the fishing trip. 291 00:12:29,330 --> 00:12:31,131 Hi, Ralph. Hi, Alice. 292 00:12:31,199 --> 00:12:33,200 I'm sorry I was late, honey. I had some shopping to do. 293 00:12:33,267 --> 00:12:34,234 But I'll have your supper 294 00:12:34,302 --> 00:12:35,535 ready for you in a minute. 295 00:12:35,602 --> 00:12:36,970 Uh, Alice... Yes? 296 00:12:37,038 --> 00:12:38,639 I want to tell you something. 297 00:12:38,706 --> 00:12:40,574 Well? 298 00:12:40,642 --> 00:12:41,808 I'll tell you later. 299 00:12:41,876 --> 00:12:43,109 Okay. 300 00:12:43,177 --> 00:12:45,746 I'll be right out. I got a surprise for you. 301 00:12:49,500 --> 00:12:50,801 Say there, Ralphie boy. 302 00:12:50,868 --> 00:12:52,402 Oh hi, Norton. 303 00:12:52,470 --> 00:12:54,704 Mind if I put this in your icebox 304 00:12:54,772 --> 00:12:56,506 till I get upstairs? It's perishable. 305 00:12:56,574 --> 00:12:57,908 Oh, help yourself. 306 00:13:08,953 --> 00:13:10,386 It ain't that I'm hungry, 307 00:13:10,455 --> 00:13:12,221 I just had to make a little room for my parcel. 308 00:13:12,289 --> 00:13:13,990 Yeah, sure, sure. 309 00:13:14,058 --> 00:13:18,094 How'd you make out about the car, Ralph? 310 00:13:18,162 --> 00:13:20,280 Oh, I got the car. Freddie Miller said I could have it. 311 00:13:20,348 --> 00:13:22,282 As a matter of fact, he's leaving it in front of the house 312 00:13:22,350 --> 00:13:23,816 on his way home tonight. 313 00:13:23,884 --> 00:13:26,420 And by the way, the trip isn't going to cost us a cent. 314 00:13:26,487 --> 00:13:28,621 I told some of the members I'd give 'em a lift down to the pier 315 00:13:28,689 --> 00:13:29,956 if they'd chip in for the gas. 316 00:13:30,024 --> 00:13:31,158 So, they will be downstairs 317 00:13:31,225 --> 00:13:32,625 and meet us in front of the house 318 00:13:32,693 --> 00:13:34,894 at 6:00 tomorrow morning. 319 00:13:37,698 --> 00:13:39,666 What's the matter with you? 320 00:13:39,733 --> 00:13:41,101 ( sighs ) 321 00:13:41,169 --> 00:13:42,936 I, uh... I got a confession to make, Ralph. 322 00:13:43,003 --> 00:13:45,038 I know it's going to be a big disappointment to you, 323 00:13:45,106 --> 00:13:46,540 but I gotta tell you. 324 00:13:46,607 --> 00:13:48,975 I realize the fishing trip is tomorrow, 325 00:13:49,043 --> 00:13:51,378 but I just haven't gotten around to telling Trixie 326 00:13:51,446 --> 00:13:52,845 that she's not goin' fishin'. 327 00:13:52,913 --> 00:13:55,014 I almost started to tell her just a little while ago. 328 00:13:55,083 --> 00:13:57,817 She was standing too close to the pots and pans. 329 00:13:57,885 --> 00:14:00,053 I just haven't got the courage you got, I guess. 330 00:14:00,121 --> 00:14:02,655 Listen, I been doin' the most stupid things, Ralph. 331 00:14:02,723 --> 00:14:04,824 You know, when she's not home, I'm standin' there, 332 00:14:04,892 --> 00:14:06,426 making speeches at her, telling her, 333 00:14:06,494 --> 00:14:08,095 "Trix, you're not goin' fishin', you know." 334 00:14:08,162 --> 00:14:09,629 Ain't that stupid? 335 00:14:09,697 --> 00:14:14,367 Then she comes home... nothin'. I chicken out. 336 00:14:14,435 --> 00:14:17,670 Will you do me one big favor, please? 337 00:14:17,738 --> 00:14:19,973 Tell me, word for word, how did you tell Alice 338 00:14:20,040 --> 00:14:21,608 that she is not goin' fishin'? 339 00:14:21,675 --> 00:14:23,176 Just tell me. 340 00:14:23,244 --> 00:14:26,079 Well, I said to her... 341 00:14:26,147 --> 00:14:28,782 I didn't tell her either yet. 342 00:14:28,850 --> 00:14:31,667 You didn't tell her! You didn't tell... 343 00:14:31,735 --> 00:14:33,169 Our leader! You were the guy 344 00:14:33,237 --> 00:14:35,505 makin' the big speech about being free. 345 00:14:35,572 --> 00:14:38,775 Oh, boy. To think at this moment, 346 00:14:38,842 --> 00:14:40,777 our fellow members of the Racoon Lodge 347 00:14:40,844 --> 00:14:42,779 are mimeographin' copies of your speech 348 00:14:42,846 --> 00:14:45,949 to hang up in every pool room in Bensonhurst! 349 00:14:46,017 --> 00:14:48,051 For shame! 350 00:14:48,119 --> 00:14:50,220 Well, do you know why I didn't tell her? 351 00:14:50,288 --> 00:14:51,388 Do you know why? 352 00:14:51,455 --> 00:14:52,956 Do you know why I didn't tell her? 353 00:14:53,024 --> 00:14:55,792 Well, I'll tell you why I didn't tell her. 354 00:14:55,859 --> 00:14:58,128 Why should I tell you why I didn't tell her? 355 00:14:58,195 --> 00:15:00,330 I'll tell you why you didn't tell her. 356 00:15:00,398 --> 00:15:01,531 You're scared of Alice. 357 00:15:01,598 --> 00:15:02,865 Ha-ha-ha! 358 00:15:02,934 --> 00:15:05,535 Hardy-har-har! 359 00:15:05,602 --> 00:15:08,438 That'll be the day when I'm scared to tell Alice anything. 360 00:15:08,505 --> 00:15:09,605 I'll eat your hat. 361 00:15:09,673 --> 00:15:11,041 Well, then, why didn't you tell her? 362 00:15:11,108 --> 00:15:13,410 I didn't tell her because... 363 00:15:13,477 --> 00:15:14,477 Well, I don't even know 364 00:15:14,545 --> 00:15:16,079 if she wants to go on a fishing trip. 365 00:15:16,147 --> 00:15:18,081 Why should I start a fight over nothing? 366 00:15:18,149 --> 00:15:19,816 She's given me no indication 367 00:15:19,883 --> 00:15:22,218 that she thinks wants to go on a fishing trip. 368 00:15:22,286 --> 00:15:24,621 How do you like it? 369 00:15:27,591 --> 00:15:30,359 I got a hunch she's thinkin' of goin' fishin'. 370 00:15:30,428 --> 00:15:32,361 It was a great bargain, Ralph. 371 00:15:32,430 --> 00:15:33,963 I got it all on sale. 372 00:15:34,031 --> 00:15:36,399 Nice boots. Nice and light. 373 00:15:36,467 --> 00:15:39,869 Good for summer wear in the sewer. 374 00:15:39,937 --> 00:15:42,539 Ralph, you haven't said anything yet. 375 00:15:42,606 --> 00:15:44,440 Go ahead, say something, Ralph. 376 00:15:44,508 --> 00:15:46,843 Alice, I gotta tell you something. 377 00:15:46,911 --> 00:15:48,377 Yeah? 378 00:15:48,445 --> 00:15:50,847 That's a mighty fine outfit you got there. 379 00:15:50,915 --> 00:15:51,898 So glad you like it. 380 00:15:51,965 --> 00:15:52,932 I'll go change, and then 381 00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:55,134 I'll get your supper ready for you. 382 00:15:55,202 --> 00:15:56,536 ( clearing throat ) 383 00:16:05,095 --> 00:16:08,548 Don't get smart, don't get smart! 384 00:16:08,616 --> 00:16:10,550 I'll tell her when I'm ready. 385 00:16:10,618 --> 00:16:12,719 You better tell her, because if she comes tomorrow with you, 386 00:16:12,787 --> 00:16:14,387 you are going to be the laughingstock. 387 00:16:14,455 --> 00:16:16,223 Don't worry about me. Just you make sure 388 00:16:16,290 --> 00:16:18,158 that you tell Trixie that she's not goin'. 389 00:16:18,226 --> 00:16:19,459 All right, all right, I'll tell her. 390 00:16:19,526 --> 00:16:20,727 And listen, Brother Kramden, 391 00:16:20,795 --> 00:16:22,662 next time you're ready to make a speech, 392 00:16:22,730 --> 00:16:25,665 will you do me a favor? Shut up. 393 00:16:25,733 --> 00:16:27,167 Hey, wait a minute! 394 00:16:27,235 --> 00:16:28,235 ( door slams ) 395 00:16:29,403 --> 00:16:32,172 Alice! Come out here. 396 00:16:32,240 --> 00:16:34,074 Now look, Alice... 397 00:16:34,142 --> 00:16:36,476 I'm gonna tell you something. I've made up my mind about it, 398 00:16:36,543 --> 00:16:38,812 so there's no sense in trying to change my mind. 399 00:16:38,880 --> 00:16:41,948 Let's not do any hollering, screaming or yelling. 400 00:16:42,016 --> 00:16:44,517 You are not going on the fishing trip. 401 00:16:44,585 --> 00:16:47,220 I am going. 402 00:16:47,287 --> 00:16:49,839 You're not going. 403 00:16:49,907 --> 00:16:51,090 I am going! 404 00:16:51,158 --> 00:16:52,525 ( yelling ): You're not going! 405 00:16:52,593 --> 00:16:53,793 ( yelling ): I am going! 406 00:16:53,861 --> 00:16:58,681 The only place you're going is to the moon! 407 00:16:58,749 --> 00:17:02,185 You get this, Ralph, and get it straight. 408 00:17:02,252 --> 00:17:04,204 When you're on that fishing trip tomorrow, 409 00:17:04,271 --> 00:17:06,689 I'm gonna be there, too. 410 00:17:06,757 --> 00:17:08,425 You can't go! 411 00:17:08,492 --> 00:17:09,792 All the guys voted unanimously 412 00:17:09,860 --> 00:17:11,528 that we can't take the wives with us! 413 00:17:11,595 --> 00:17:13,196 None of the wives are goin'! 414 00:17:13,264 --> 00:17:14,397 None of the wives are going? 415 00:17:14,465 --> 00:17:17,167 Well, for your information, Trixie's going. 416 00:17:17,234 --> 00:17:18,868 Oh, is that so, Mrs. Weisenheimer? 417 00:17:18,936 --> 00:17:21,204 Well, for your information, she's not goin', 418 00:17:21,272 --> 00:17:24,441 'cause Norton's on his way up to tell her she can't go. 419 00:17:24,508 --> 00:17:25,875 ( crashing upstairs ) 420 00:17:25,943 --> 00:17:27,110 ( Norton yelling ) 421 00:17:30,380 --> 00:17:32,982 Didn't I tell you Trixie's going? 422 00:17:33,050 --> 00:17:35,952 I don't care if she's goin', you're not goin'! 423 00:17:36,020 --> 00:17:37,303 Now you listen to me, Ralph. 424 00:17:37,371 --> 00:17:39,005 I am going on that fishing trip. 425 00:17:39,072 --> 00:17:41,007 I gave up going to beauty parlor for three months 426 00:17:41,074 --> 00:17:42,408 to buy that fishing equipment. 427 00:17:42,476 --> 00:17:44,243 Yeah? Well, that fishing equipment 428 00:17:44,311 --> 00:17:46,646 will not do you one bit of good. 429 00:17:46,714 --> 00:17:48,882 What do you know about fishing in the first place? 430 00:17:48,949 --> 00:17:50,750 When did you ever catch anything? 431 00:17:50,818 --> 00:17:53,286 15 years ago. 432 00:17:53,354 --> 00:17:57,757 I caught 300 pounds of blubber. 433 00:18:00,878 --> 00:18:03,446 Oh, would I like to... 434 00:18:04,448 --> 00:18:06,583 You're not goin'! 435 00:18:06,651 --> 00:18:09,586 I am, Ralph, and at 6:00 tomorrow morning, 436 00:18:09,654 --> 00:18:11,071 I shall be ready. 437 00:18:12,589 --> 00:18:13,890 ( groans ) 438 00:18:25,386 --> 00:18:27,186 Well... 439 00:18:27,254 --> 00:18:28,321 Me, too. 440 00:18:28,389 --> 00:18:29,523 Yeah, Trixie, too. 441 00:18:29,590 --> 00:18:31,090 She says she's gonna be ready at 6:00 442 00:18:31,158 --> 00:18:32,358 in the morning to go fishing. 443 00:18:32,426 --> 00:18:34,327 So's Trixie. 444 00:18:34,395 --> 00:18:35,996 Hey, wait a minute. What? 445 00:18:36,063 --> 00:18:36,997 ( snaps fingers ) 446 00:18:37,064 --> 00:18:38,164 Wait a minute! 447 00:18:38,232 --> 00:18:40,433 All right, so they're gonna 448 00:18:40,500 --> 00:18:42,435 be up at 6:00 to go fishin'. 449 00:18:42,502 --> 00:18:46,005 Suppose we sneak out at 4:00? 450 00:18:46,073 --> 00:18:48,941 Ralph, you're a genius! 451 00:18:49,009 --> 00:18:51,444 You gotta get up a little early 452 00:18:51,512 --> 00:18:53,112 to put anything over on me. 453 00:18:53,180 --> 00:18:54,814 'Bout half past three. 454 00:18:54,881 --> 00:18:56,649 ( laughing ) 455 00:18:56,717 --> 00:18:58,484 Now, look... Hey, wait a minute. 456 00:18:58,552 --> 00:19:00,753 What about the guys that are gonna meet us at 6:00? 457 00:19:00,821 --> 00:19:02,755 Very simple. We'll call them up on the phone 458 00:19:02,823 --> 00:19:04,990 and tell them to meet us in front of the house at 4:00. 459 00:19:05,058 --> 00:19:07,126 You make the calls and use an outside phone. 460 00:19:07,194 --> 00:19:08,328 Yeah. All right. Now, remember, 461 00:19:08,395 --> 00:19:09,962 when you're coming down tomorrow morning, 462 00:19:10,030 --> 00:19:12,465 be careful not to wake up Trixie or we're dead. 463 00:19:12,533 --> 00:19:14,400 Don't you worry about a thing. 464 00:19:14,468 --> 00:19:15,835 Hey, wait a minute. What? 465 00:19:15,902 --> 00:19:17,403 Don't you want that package you put in my icebox? 466 00:19:17,471 --> 00:19:19,239 Ooh. Thanks. 467 00:19:23,477 --> 00:19:25,378 I'm glad you reminded me about this. 468 00:19:25,446 --> 00:19:27,380 Boy, we'd be in pretty bad shape tomorrow 469 00:19:27,448 --> 00:19:28,814 if I didn't bring this. 470 00:19:28,882 --> 00:19:29,815 What is it? 471 00:19:29,883 --> 00:19:31,117 Worms. 472 00:19:31,184 --> 00:19:34,320 You put worms in my icebox! 473 00:19:34,388 --> 00:19:36,689 Get out! Get out! 474 00:19:38,525 --> 00:19:40,025 Worms in my icebox! 475 00:19:51,588 --> 00:19:55,125 Great idea of yours to go... 476 00:19:55,192 --> 00:19:57,093 ( yawning ): at 4:00 in the morning. 477 00:19:57,161 --> 00:19:59,229 Well, let's get in the car where we can sit down. 478 00:20:09,273 --> 00:20:10,273 ( horn honks ) 479 00:20:18,148 --> 00:20:19,415 Know what I'm gonna do? 480 00:20:19,482 --> 00:20:21,483 I'm gonna take a little snooze. 481 00:20:21,551 --> 00:20:23,669 There'll be no snoozin', Norton. 482 00:20:25,723 --> 00:20:27,056 ( horn honking ) 483 00:20:28,392 --> 00:20:30,192 Norton, I said don't snooze! 484 00:20:30,260 --> 00:20:31,628 I just had my eyes closed. 485 00:20:31,695 --> 00:20:33,129 Don't tell me you had your eyes closed. 486 00:20:33,196 --> 00:20:34,130 I just heard you snore! 487 00:20:34,197 --> 00:20:35,832 That was the horn. 488 00:20:35,900 --> 00:20:37,199 The horn? 489 00:20:37,267 --> 00:20:39,602 We better get out of here before we wake the girls up. 490 00:20:39,670 --> 00:20:41,438 What'd I do with the key? 491 00:20:41,505 --> 00:20:43,172 What about the guys? 492 00:20:43,240 --> 00:20:44,707 Huh? The guys. 493 00:20:44,775 --> 00:20:47,343 The guys? Makes no difference. 494 00:20:47,411 --> 00:20:50,046 We'll drive around the block. They gotta come up that street. 495 00:20:50,113 --> 00:20:51,030 NORTON: Oh. 496 00:20:52,466 --> 00:20:54,934 You know what? What? 497 00:20:55,002 --> 00:20:57,670 The girls are really gonna be in for some shock 498 00:20:57,738 --> 00:21:00,840 when they find out that we left without them. 499 00:21:00,908 --> 00:21:02,475 ( both laughing ) 500 00:21:02,543 --> 00:21:05,478 They're gonna be mighty mad when we get home tonight. 501 00:21:05,546 --> 00:21:06,312 Ho, ho! 502 00:21:06,380 --> 00:21:08,014 Ah, we can handle them. 503 00:21:08,081 --> 00:21:10,699 Give 'em a little of that old sweet talk. 504 00:21:10,767 --> 00:21:11,734 ( chuckles ) 505 00:21:11,802 --> 00:21:13,970 They always go for that malarkey 506 00:21:14,037 --> 00:21:16,672 about "Oh, how we missed you when we were gone." 507 00:21:16,740 --> 00:21:18,241 ( laughing ) 508 00:21:18,308 --> 00:21:20,009 Well, we're off. 509 00:21:22,196 --> 00:21:26,916 ( engine sputtering ) 510 00:21:26,984 --> 00:21:28,701 It won't turn over. 511 00:21:28,769 --> 00:21:30,537 Maybe it's cold. 512 00:21:30,604 --> 00:21:33,673 ( sputtering ) 513 00:21:33,740 --> 00:21:35,958 Maybe it's a dead battery? 514 00:21:36,026 --> 00:21:37,877 I'll go out and have a look. 515 00:21:37,944 --> 00:21:40,045 Why don't you try the choke first? 516 00:21:41,765 --> 00:21:44,634 I forgot about that. Thanks, Alice. 517 00:21:44,702 --> 00:21:45,702 Whoa! 518 00:21:49,172 --> 00:21:50,056 Ralph... 519 00:21:50,123 --> 00:21:52,458 I ain't got the courage to look back there. 520 00:21:52,526 --> 00:21:54,360 Is Mrs. Norton back there? 521 00:21:55,195 --> 00:21:57,063 Right behind you. 522 00:21:57,130 --> 00:21:58,798 Gee. 523 00:21:58,849 --> 00:22:01,968 This is one of the sneakiest tricks I've ever heard of. 524 00:22:02,035 --> 00:22:04,053 When it comes to sneaky tricks, don't you talk! 525 00:22:04,121 --> 00:22:05,855 How did you ever expect to get away with this? 526 00:22:06,023 --> 00:22:06,956 We would have if you weren't 527 00:22:07,024 --> 00:22:08,141 picking up some other Racoons. 528 00:22:08,208 --> 00:22:09,708 We would've been all the way to the pier 529 00:22:09,777 --> 00:22:11,077 before you knew we were in the car. 530 00:22:11,145 --> 00:22:12,745 Is that so? Well, you're not goin'! 531 00:22:12,813 --> 00:22:13,980 Well, you're not goin' either. 532 00:22:14,047 --> 00:22:15,047 You can't start the car! 533 00:22:15,115 --> 00:22:16,448 Oh, I can't, huh? 534 00:22:16,516 --> 00:22:18,818 I haven't driven a bus for 15 years for nothin'. 535 00:22:18,886 --> 00:22:21,387 I'll get the car started. Don't worry about that. 536 00:22:27,327 --> 00:22:28,494 ( loud banging ) 537 00:22:29,863 --> 00:22:31,964 All right, get over there and start the car 538 00:22:32,032 --> 00:22:34,100 when I tell you it's okay. 539 00:22:34,168 --> 00:22:35,634 Oh... 540 00:22:35,702 --> 00:22:37,904 All right, start the car. 541 00:22:37,971 --> 00:22:42,341 ( engine sputtering ) 542 00:22:42,409 --> 00:22:45,912 All right, all right. I know what's wrong now. 543 00:22:45,979 --> 00:22:47,680 Oh, yeah. 544 00:22:47,747 --> 00:22:50,283 All right, start the car. 545 00:22:50,350 --> 00:22:55,054 ( engine sputtering ) 546 00:22:55,122 --> 00:22:57,190 Give me a hairpin, Trixie. 547 00:22:57,257 --> 00:22:58,257 Oh, sure. 548 00:23:00,994 --> 00:23:04,263 Ha-ha-ha. Hardy-har-har. 549 00:23:07,835 --> 00:23:10,536 All right, Ed, step on the starter now. 550 00:23:10,603 --> 00:23:12,972 ( both laughing ) 551 00:23:13,040 --> 00:23:16,909 ( engine starting ) 552 00:23:16,977 --> 00:23:19,112 Well, let's get back in the car, Ralph. 553 00:23:19,180 --> 00:23:21,247 You're not gettin' in the car, 'cause you're not goin'! 554 00:23:21,315 --> 00:23:22,581 Is that your final word, Ralph? 555 00:23:22,649 --> 00:23:24,734 That's my final word, you're not goin'! 556 00:23:24,801 --> 00:23:26,586 All right. 557 00:23:26,654 --> 00:23:28,421 ( engine stopping ) 558 00:23:28,489 --> 00:23:29,922 You think that stops me? 559 00:23:29,990 --> 00:23:31,841 If you can do it, I can do it. Look out. 560 00:23:31,909 --> 00:23:33,643 Don't be too sure, Ralph. 561 00:23:33,711 --> 00:23:35,845 I ain't got no hairpins. 562 00:23:35,913 --> 00:23:38,147 Trixie, give me another hairpin. 563 00:23:38,215 --> 00:23:39,448 Sure. Thank you. 564 00:23:39,516 --> 00:23:41,117 Oh, a head start, eh? 565 00:23:41,184 --> 00:23:42,752 Yeah. 566 00:23:42,820 --> 00:23:44,871 All right, start the motor. 567 00:23:44,939 --> 00:23:47,240 ( engine sputtering ) 568 00:23:47,308 --> 00:23:48,908 What did you do in there?! 569 00:23:48,976 --> 00:23:50,376 Are you gonna take us? 570 00:23:50,444 --> 00:23:51,510 I can't take you. 571 00:23:51,578 --> 00:23:53,679 I told you, it was a unanimous vote! 572 00:23:53,747 --> 00:23:55,681 No wives are going on the trip. 573 00:23:55,749 --> 00:23:58,084 Look, they talked me into it. Didn't they, Norton? 574 00:23:58,152 --> 00:23:59,152 No comment. 575 00:24:00,888 --> 00:24:03,156 There you are, see? Honest, I can't take you. 576 00:24:03,224 --> 00:24:05,158 I don't want to make a fool out of myself. 577 00:24:05,226 --> 00:24:06,392 Can't you understand what 578 00:24:06,460 --> 00:24:07,927 this fishing trip means to us, Ralph? 579 00:24:07,995 --> 00:24:09,028 Don't you realize Trixie 580 00:24:09,096 --> 00:24:10,429 and I went and bought outfits? 581 00:24:10,497 --> 00:24:13,299 And why? 'Cause we had some kind of a crazy idea 582 00:24:13,367 --> 00:24:15,501 that you might like to take us along. 583 00:24:15,569 --> 00:24:16,452 I'd love to take you... 584 00:24:16,603 --> 00:24:17,603 Never mind, Ralph. 585 00:24:17,671 --> 00:24:19,439 Never mind. 586 00:24:19,506 --> 00:24:21,107 There you are. 587 00:24:21,175 --> 00:24:23,209 Now you can go... alone. 588 00:24:23,277 --> 00:24:24,527 Come on, Trixie. 589 00:24:24,594 --> 00:24:25,528 Okay. 590 00:24:25,595 --> 00:24:27,163 ( Alice grumbling ) 591 00:24:28,598 --> 00:24:30,967 I hope you have a very pleasant day, Ralph. 592 00:24:31,035 --> 00:24:33,102 TRIXIE: Yeah, enjoy yourself. 593 00:24:36,239 --> 00:24:37,239 ( door slams ) 594 00:24:51,055 --> 00:24:51,687 Well... 595 00:24:51,755 --> 00:24:53,005 Well, I guess we got away with it. 596 00:24:53,073 --> 00:24:54,240 You can say that. 597 00:24:54,308 --> 00:24:55,674 It took a little doin', but we did it. 598 00:24:55,742 --> 00:24:58,311 Next time we say somethin', they'll know that we mean it. 599 00:24:58,378 --> 00:25:02,381 You can say that again. Well, we're off to fish. 600 00:25:02,449 --> 00:25:05,451 ( engine starting ) 601 00:25:08,021 --> 00:25:09,088 ( engine stops ) 602 00:25:09,156 --> 00:25:11,240 What's wrong? 603 00:25:11,308 --> 00:25:13,009 You know what's wrong. 604 00:25:14,277 --> 00:25:16,079 Alice! 605 00:25:16,146 --> 00:25:17,714 Hey, Trixie! 606 00:25:17,781 --> 00:25:20,049 Come on down, Alice! You can come with us. 607 00:25:20,117 --> 00:25:21,684 Hurry up, will ya?