1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:03,800 ANIMALS BLEAT 2 00:00:03,800 --> 00:00:05,200 ALL CHATTER 3 00:00:05,200 --> 00:00:06,680 - He's back! Mick's back! 4 00:00:06,680 --> 00:00:08,600 - Mick?! - Mick's back! 5 00:00:08,600 --> 00:00:11,520 Mick's back! - He is! Look! 6 00:00:11,520 --> 00:00:15,600 - Hi, everyone! 7 00:00:11,520 --> 00:00:15,600 ALL CHATTER EXCITEDLY 8 00:00:15,600 --> 00:00:18,880 - All right, all right! One at a time, let him speak! Speak, Mick. 9 00:00:18,880 --> 00:00:22,440 - Oh, it was the adventure of my life. I had an orange. 10 00:00:22,440 --> 00:00:24,200 - Did you? - Oh! 11 00:00:24,200 --> 00:00:25,840 - I saw a bear kill a man. 12 00:00:25,840 --> 00:00:28,280 - Oh, gosh! 13 00:00:28,280 --> 00:00:30,360 - And I met the king. 14 00:00:30,360 --> 00:00:32,520 - No, you didn't! Did you? 15 00:00:32,520 --> 00:00:34,600 - YOU met the king? 16 00:00:34,600 --> 00:00:36,640 - Yep. - Ooh, jel. 17 00:00:36,640 --> 00:00:38,480 - Went on his boat. Fishing. 18 00:00:38,480 --> 00:00:40,800 - Fishing... - Yeah, he asked me to join his court, 19 00:00:40,800 --> 00:00:43,320 but I said no way I'm leaving you lot. 20 00:00:43,320 --> 00:00:46,520 - You didn't! Sweetie! Mick! 21 00:00:46,520 --> 00:00:49,440 - I'd always wanted to visit the city, hadn't I? So... 22 00:00:49,440 --> 00:00:52,400 - You have. That's always been your dream, actually. - You had, yeah. 23 00:00:52,400 --> 00:00:54,320 - Ooh, almost forgot! 24 00:00:54,320 --> 00:00:56,200 I got you all some gifts! 25 00:00:56,200 --> 00:00:58,480 - That's naughty of you! 26 00:00:56,200 --> 00:00:58,480 - ALL CHATTER EXCITEDLY 27 00:00:58,480 --> 00:01:01,800 You didn't think I'd go all that way without bringing you back something! 28 00:01:01,800 --> 00:01:03,600 Got loads of salt. 29 00:01:03,600 --> 00:01:06,160 THEY CHATTER IN APPRECIATION 30 00:01:06,160 --> 00:01:08,360 And... - For us?! 31 00:01:08,360 --> 00:01:10,840 - Look at them! - I can't believe you've done that! 32 00:01:10,840 --> 00:01:12,200 - Yeah! 33 00:01:12,200 --> 00:01:14,080 ALL CHATTER 34 00:01:12,200 --> 00:01:14,080 - That's so generous of you! 35 00:01:14,080 --> 00:01:16,080 - Yeah, one each! - Yeah! 36 00:01:16,080 --> 00:01:18,440 - Help yourselves. - Mick, that's naughty... 37 00:01:18,440 --> 00:01:21,280 - Help yourselves! 38 00:01:18,440 --> 00:01:21,280 HE CHUCKLES 39 00:01:21,280 --> 00:01:23,040 HE COUGHS 40 00:01:23,040 --> 00:01:25,720 VILLAGERS CHATTER HAPPILY 41 00:01:23,040 --> 00:01:25,720 - Look at it! 42 00:02:02,640 --> 00:02:05,560 Alison. 43 00:02:05,560 --> 00:02:07,360 - CLEARS THROAT 44 00:02:07,360 --> 00:02:08,880 - Alison! 45 00:02:08,880 --> 00:02:11,200 Alison! Alison! 46 00:02:12,720 --> 00:02:14,640 - MUFFLED DIN 47 00:02:14,640 --> 00:02:16,480 SHE GROANS 48 00:02:14,640 --> 00:02:16,480 DISTORTED: - Alison! Alison! 49 00:02:16,480 --> 00:02:19,440 - SHE WINCES 50 00:02:16,480 --> 00:02:19,440 Oh, my God... 51 00:02:19,440 --> 00:02:22,200 - Alison! Alison! 52 00:02:19,440 --> 00:02:22,200 - SHE GROANS 53 00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:23,760 - Alison! 54 00:02:23,760 --> 00:02:25,200 - Oh, my God... 55 00:02:25,200 --> 00:02:28,480 - Alison! Alison...! 56 00:02:28,480 --> 00:02:30,120 Right. Stand by. 57 00:02:30,120 --> 00:02:32,080 - Ready, steady, go! 58 00:02:32,080 --> 00:02:34,000 - For King and country! 59 00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:36,960 - Oh, I feel so sick... 60 00:02:36,960 --> 00:02:39,040 Can you get me some water? 61 00:02:39,040 --> 00:02:40,560 CROAKY: - Get your own w... 62 00:02:41,880 --> 00:02:43,800 - CROAKY: - I've lost my voice. 63 00:02:43,800 --> 00:02:47,200 - I don't remember leaving the pub. - Must've had fun. 64 00:02:47,200 --> 00:02:49,480 - At least we don't have to work today. 65 00:02:50,520 --> 00:02:52,760 SHE SIGHS AND GROANS 66 00:02:54,960 --> 00:02:56,920 MOBILE PHONE VIBRATES 67 00:02:58,600 --> 00:03:00,560 - Make it stop... 68 00:03:01,560 --> 00:03:03,000 - SHE COUGHS 69 00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:05,120 Hello? 70 00:03:05,120 --> 00:03:07,320 Sorry, who from who? 71 00:03:08,800 --> 00:03:11,440 Isabelle from Belle's Weddings? 72 00:03:11,440 --> 00:03:12,800 HE GROANS 73 00:03:12,800 --> 00:03:15,080 Yeah, aw, thanks for getting in touch. 74 00:03:15,080 --> 00:03:18,560 Yeah, we're really keen to be on your books... 75 00:03:18,560 --> 00:03:21,320 ..if you'll have us. 76 00:03:21,320 --> 00:03:23,600 It's a lovely house. 77 00:03:23,600 --> 00:03:25,800 Today? 78 00:03:25,800 --> 00:03:27,800 I wonder if...if... 79 00:03:27,800 --> 00:03:30,720 No, no, no, no, no. Oh, no. OK, today... Today's fine. Today's fine. 80 00:03:30,720 --> 00:03:31,880 HE GROANS 81 00:03:31,880 --> 00:03:34,440 Maybe just sort of, like, late, after... 82 00:03:34,440 --> 00:03:36,320 One o'clock, is it? OK. 83 00:03:36,320 --> 00:03:38,040 All right. 84 00:03:38,040 --> 00:03:40,280 OK, bye! 85 00:03:40,280 --> 00:03:43,320 Oh, my God. OK, I just need to shake this off... 86 00:03:43,320 --> 00:03:46,040 Ohhh... 87 00:03:43,320 --> 00:03:46,040 SHE PUFFS 88 00:03:46,040 --> 00:03:48,400 Bit of breakfast... 89 00:03:48,400 --> 00:03:50,120 We'll be fine. 90 00:03:58,000 --> 00:04:00,600 SOBBING 91 00:04:10,640 --> 00:04:13,080 - Shut your mouth! It is a mansion! 92 00:04:13,080 --> 00:04:14,720 - Yeah, boy! 93 00:04:16,320 --> 00:04:18,760 - The impertinence! 94 00:04:18,760 --> 00:04:20,720 - Oh, this looks like fun! 95 00:04:20,720 --> 00:04:22,760 - The bally nerve! It's gone midnight. 96 00:04:22,760 --> 00:04:25,560 - Yeah, it is very late. Yeah, absolutely. 97 00:04:25,560 --> 00:04:28,520 - Welcome to my house! 98 00:04:25,560 --> 00:04:28,520 - ALL CHEER 99 00:04:30,680 --> 00:04:32,520 CROAKY: - Alison! 100 00:04:32,520 --> 00:04:34,680 Alison...! Oh...! 101 00:04:36,640 --> 00:04:38,280 - Oh...! 102 00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:42,160 SHE GASPS 103 00:04:47,640 --> 00:04:49,680 QUIET SNORING 104 00:04:49,680 --> 00:04:51,400 - They came back. 105 00:04:55,280 --> 00:04:57,480 I think I did my throat bass. 106 00:04:57,480 --> 00:05:00,280 - HE BEATBOXES 107 00:05:02,520 --> 00:05:04,240 Yeah, you did. 108 00:05:04,240 --> 00:05:06,400 Oh. 109 00:05:06,400 --> 00:05:09,840 Shall we just call back and cancel? - No way, we need it. 110 00:05:09,840 --> 00:05:11,840 We can get this clean in time. 111 00:05:11,840 --> 00:05:12,960 - Oh... 112 00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:16,600 - Have you seen my other shoe? 113 00:05:16,600 --> 00:05:18,480 - Mm-mm... 114 00:05:18,480 --> 00:05:20,320 OK. 115 00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:23,160 You get people out and I'll... 116 00:05:23,160 --> 00:05:26,720 I'm going to get bin bags. 117 00:05:23,160 --> 00:05:26,720 SHE EXHALES 118 00:05:26,720 --> 00:05:28,640 - Right... 119 00:05:34,680 --> 00:05:36,680 - COUGHING NEARBY 120 00:05:36,680 --> 00:05:38,280 SHE COUGHS 121 00:05:38,280 --> 00:05:39,800 - She awakes. 122 00:05:39,800 --> 00:05:41,400 - Oh, God... 123 00:05:41,400 --> 00:05:44,360 - As radiant as the sunrise itself. 124 00:05:44,360 --> 00:05:46,640 - My mouth tastes like the inside of a bin. 125 00:05:46,640 --> 00:05:49,080 - I would have made you breakfast, if I could. 126 00:05:49,080 --> 00:05:52,600 Perhaps lamb's kidney and onion... - Oh, stop it! 127 00:05:52,600 --> 00:05:55,160 - I wanted to thank you for last night. 128 00:05:55,160 --> 00:05:58,080 I'll never forget those words you said to me. 129 00:05:58,080 --> 00:06:00,160 - What did I say? 130 00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:03,000 - Something that touched me very deeply. 131 00:06:04,400 --> 00:06:07,280 Forgive me, I know I've not had a formal invitation, 132 00:06:07,280 --> 00:06:08,720 but I wonder if I might... 133 00:06:08,720 --> 00:06:10,760 - Oh, Thomas, it's fine. You're part of the family. 134 00:06:10,760 --> 00:06:12,480 - Thank you, Alison. 135 00:06:12,480 --> 00:06:14,520 A thousand thank yous! 136 00:06:14,520 --> 00:06:17,600 - UPBEAT DANCE MUSIC 137 00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:26,760 Oh, that. Yeah, yeah, I meant it. 138 00:06:26,760 --> 00:06:28,840 HE SQUEAKS 139 00:06:28,840 --> 00:06:30,520 Are you OK? 140 00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:35,600 OK. 141 00:06:35,600 --> 00:06:37,560 - Hello? - It's home time. 142 00:06:37,560 --> 00:06:39,280 - MAN GROANS 143 00:06:42,320 --> 00:06:44,160 - Come on, man. It's time to go. 144 00:06:44,160 --> 00:06:45,840 - Why do you sound like Batman? 145 00:06:45,840 --> 00:06:48,520 - I lost my voice. You've got to go home, bruv. 146 00:06:48,520 --> 00:06:50,720 Got a wedding planner coming to look at the house in two hours. 147 00:06:50,720 --> 00:06:52,520 Come on, then. 148 00:06:53,840 --> 00:06:56,040 - Where are your shoes? 149 00:06:56,040 --> 00:06:58,280 LOUD DRILLING 150 00:06:58,280 --> 00:06:59,960 - I'll go. 151 00:06:59,960 --> 00:07:01,800 - DRILLING CONTINUES 152 00:07:09,440 --> 00:07:12,720 INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE 153 00:07:12,720 --> 00:07:15,840 - Ah! Oh, hi, Michael. Sorry about that. 154 00:07:15,840 --> 00:07:19,000 - I was just wondering if you could just save the drilling. 155 00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:21,600 We're a bit fragile. - We're actually just finished. 156 00:07:21,600 --> 00:07:23,440 At last! 157 00:07:21,600 --> 00:07:23,440 - ALL MURMUR 158 00:07:23,440 --> 00:07:25,280 We'll miss them, won't we? 159 00:07:25,280 --> 00:07:27,640 - We made rather an exciting discovery, actually. 160 00:07:27,640 --> 00:07:30,440 Because, you see, none of the surrounding villages were struck, 161 00:07:30,440 --> 00:07:33,000 so we know the disease was brought here... 162 00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:34,880 - ALL MURMUR 163 00:07:34,880 --> 00:07:37,920 - ...by a visitor or an individual who went elsewhere and returned. 164 00:07:37,920 --> 00:07:40,080 - It could be anyone, I suppose, couldn't it? 165 00:07:40,080 --> 00:07:43,080 - But then we found a few samples of textiles and furs, 166 00:07:43,080 --> 00:07:47,240 and we can be certain that they were host to plague-carrying fleas. 167 00:07:48,520 --> 00:07:50,200 Once they got out, you've got no chance. 168 00:07:50,200 --> 00:07:52,680 Everyone's dead! 169 00:07:50,200 --> 00:07:52,680 - HE CHUCKLES 170 00:07:55,000 --> 00:07:57,920 I'm so sorry. I didn't know. 171 00:07:57,920 --> 00:08:00,680 - I don't think sorry's going to cut it, mate. 172 00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:04,720 - Ah, Alison, there you are! 173 00:08:04,720 --> 00:08:07,920 Would you mind putting Guernsey's Nazi Past on the VCR for me, please? 174 00:08:07,920 --> 00:08:09,680 - I haven't watched my football yet. 175 00:08:09,680 --> 00:08:12,080 - Would you kindly tell Patrick that he missed his turn 176 00:08:12,080 --> 00:08:13,800 and a miss is as good as a mile? 177 00:08:13,800 --> 00:08:15,480 - Guys, please, can you keep it down? 178 00:08:15,480 --> 00:08:17,600 - No, Alison, I'm sorry... - I don't care! 179 00:08:17,600 --> 00:08:19,320 - She doesn't! 180 00:08:19,320 --> 00:08:21,360 - Alison... 181 00:08:19,320 --> 00:08:21,360 - SHE SOBS 182 00:08:21,360 --> 00:08:23,680 Oh, I... Actually, I can't... 183 00:08:23,680 --> 00:08:26,120 I can't deal with this this morning. 184 00:08:26,120 --> 00:08:28,920 So hungover I actually, genuinely... I do think I'm going to die. 185 00:08:28,920 --> 00:08:30,560 - Hm, you need a remedy. 186 00:08:30,560 --> 00:08:33,000 - Hair of the dog, love. Just drink more booze. 187 00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:34,880 - Did you say that last night? 188 00:08:34,880 --> 00:08:36,920 - Yes. - I have the cure. 189 00:08:36,920 --> 00:08:40,360 Soak some mushrooms in milk of the goat and vinegar 190 00:08:40,360 --> 00:08:42,760 till it's all warm and musty... 191 00:08:42,760 --> 00:08:44,440 - No, stop it. Stop it now. 192 00:08:44,440 --> 00:08:48,520 - Well, you see, Alison, this is what happens when you overindulge. 193 00:08:48,520 --> 00:08:51,640 - Square! - When you give in to gay abandon. 194 00:08:51,640 --> 00:08:54,600 You reap what you sow. You reap what you sow, 195 00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:56,720 and now the soil returns... 196 00:08:56,720 --> 00:08:58,400 - Hey. 197 00:08:59,840 --> 00:09:01,520 - Morrow. 198 00:09:03,720 --> 00:09:05,720 - Oh, actually, no, yeah, good. 199 00:09:05,720 --> 00:09:07,520 - Hey, look. Cola! 200 00:09:07,520 --> 00:09:09,520 Best thing for it. 201 00:09:09,520 --> 00:09:12,160 - SHE SPITS 202 00:09:09,520 --> 00:09:12,160 Oh, God, that is...! 203 00:09:12,160 --> 00:09:14,600 - Oh, no, sorry. - Ah, here she is! 204 00:09:14,600 --> 00:09:16,720 The madam! The hostess! 205 00:09:16,720 --> 00:09:19,440 Just when I think you have grasped the responsibility 206 00:09:19,440 --> 00:09:22,960 of the family seat, you turn this place into a den of iniquity, 207 00:09:22,960 --> 00:09:26,520 inviting goodness-knows-who to do goodness-knows-what! 208 00:09:26,520 --> 00:09:30,120 - SHE GASPS 209 00:09:26,520 --> 00:09:30,120 - Sorry, I think someone's hid 210 00:09:26,520 --> 00:09:30,120 my clothes. - Good Lord. 211 00:09:30,120 --> 00:09:33,240 - I shudder to think what happened under this roof last night. 212 00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:35,760 This place is full of breakables, 213 00:09:35,760 --> 00:09:38,720 treasured family heirlooms, irreplaceable bits of historical... 214 00:09:38,720 --> 00:09:42,280 - Nothing's damaged, and it's just a mess that I'm cleaning up, 215 00:09:42,280 --> 00:09:44,560 so just don't...don't worry. 216 00:09:44,560 --> 00:09:46,920 - Well, don't think I won't notice. 217 00:09:50,320 --> 00:09:52,000 - Oh, God! 218 00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:53,720 - Where's Dante? 219 00:09:53,720 --> 00:09:55,200 - Dante? 220 00:09:55,200 --> 00:09:56,360 - The dog. 221 00:09:57,960 --> 00:09:59,600 - SHE GASPS 222 00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:01,640 DANCE MUSIC 223 00:10:04,120 --> 00:10:05,920 ALL LAUGH 224 00:10:05,920 --> 00:10:09,000 Can we get a photo with him? - Oh, yes, let's get a photo, girls! 225 00:10:10,520 --> 00:10:13,120 - Have you got your phone? - A photograph with the girls! 226 00:10:13,120 --> 00:10:14,760 Here's to me, too! 227 00:10:14,760 --> 00:10:16,560 - Cheers! - Cheers! 228 00:10:16,560 --> 00:10:19,200 Kitty's having a wonderful time at the party! 229 00:10:19,200 --> 00:10:22,080 Don't forget me! - That's good! - My turn! 230 00:10:22,080 --> 00:10:24,520 My turn! Take a photo with me! 231 00:10:24,520 --> 00:10:27,320 - Alison! Alison, sorry to bother you. 232 00:10:27,320 --> 00:10:30,080 The captain asked me to convey a message. 233 00:10:30,080 --> 00:10:33,320 Just to turn the music off, 234 00:10:33,320 --> 00:10:36,880 and to "cease the talking immediately." 235 00:10:36,880 --> 00:10:38,880 - Tell him to stick it. 236 00:10:38,880 --> 00:10:40,560 - OK. 237 00:10:42,880 --> 00:10:44,840 Oh... 238 00:10:49,720 --> 00:10:51,680 Oh! 239 00:10:53,720 --> 00:10:55,240 - He's not here. 240 00:10:55,240 --> 00:10:57,120 - Ooh, you're in trouble now. 241 00:10:57,120 --> 00:10:59,320 - But I thought he was just an ornament. 242 00:10:59,320 --> 00:11:02,400 - No, he did mean a lot to Lady B. - Loved it like her own child. 243 00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:05,440 - Once told me she loved it more than anything else in the world. 244 00:11:05,440 --> 00:11:07,080 - Well, I'm sure that... 245 00:11:07,080 --> 00:11:09,680 - Thanks, Alison. Great party! - Same time next week. 246 00:11:09,680 --> 00:11:12,320 - Ha-ha-ha. No. - Don't think so, mate. 247 00:11:22,680 --> 00:11:24,320 - LAUGHTER 248 00:11:24,320 --> 00:11:26,280 - Good luck, mate! You're not going to make it. 249 00:11:26,280 --> 00:11:28,760 - Oh! Oh, yes! 250 00:11:28,760 --> 00:11:30,600 - Yeah, boy! 251 00:11:34,560 --> 00:11:36,680 - Ready? - I was born ready. 252 00:11:36,680 --> 00:11:39,840 - 'Tis a fair old wangle, that. You haven't got the strength. 253 00:11:39,840 --> 00:11:41,560 - I got this. 254 00:11:41,560 --> 00:11:43,440 - Whoa! Ha-hey! 255 00:11:43,440 --> 00:11:46,400 - "Stick it"?! - Wahey! - Afraid so. 256 00:11:46,400 --> 00:11:48,720 - In my bottom, presumably. - Oh! 257 00:11:48,720 --> 00:11:51,440 - Well, you go down there and you tell her... 258 00:11:51,440 --> 00:11:53,040 - Me turn! 259 00:11:53,040 --> 00:11:55,240 Whoa! Whoa! 260 00:11:55,240 --> 00:11:57,480 - Wahey! 261 00:11:57,480 --> 00:11:59,800 Yes! Well done! 262 00:11:59,800 --> 00:12:03,320 - Told you! - It's a stupid game, anyway. 263 00:12:03,320 --> 00:12:05,720 - You stupid. 264 00:12:05,720 --> 00:12:08,000 HE CHUCKLES 265 00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:10,880 - I didn't think this through... 266 00:12:10,880 --> 00:12:12,240 Uh... 267 00:12:17,920 --> 00:12:19,480 - CROAKY: - Just getting my shoes. 268 00:12:19,480 --> 00:12:22,080 - I can't say I'm surprised that something like this would happen. 269 00:12:22,080 --> 00:12:24,120 I'll have to tell her, of course. - What? No! 270 00:12:24,120 --> 00:12:26,600 - I will not allow Fanny to be deceived like this, to be... 271 00:12:26,600 --> 00:12:28,960 - No more war documentaries, then. - Your secret's safe with me. 272 00:12:28,960 --> 00:12:31,040 It's classified. She'd have to kill me first. 273 00:12:31,040 --> 00:12:34,160 Well, you know what I mean. - Right. Find the dog. Clean up. 274 00:12:34,160 --> 00:12:35,640 Two hours... 275 00:12:35,640 --> 00:12:37,560 Oh, my word...! - Ahh! 276 00:12:37,560 --> 00:12:39,360 - What are you doing up here?! 277 00:12:39,360 --> 00:12:41,640 - We're actually going to live up here now, actually. 278 00:12:41,640 --> 00:12:42,720 - SHE SIGHS 279 00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:44,840 - Mick killed us all. - Which is not remotely cool. 280 00:12:44,840 --> 00:12:46,560 - MURMURS OF AGREEMENT 281 00:12:44,840 --> 00:12:46,560 - No, no, no, no, no, no, no. 282 00:12:46,560 --> 00:12:49,040 We can't be sharing the place with these plebeians. 283 00:12:49,040 --> 00:12:50,960 - What? - He gave us all the plague. 284 00:12:50,960 --> 00:12:52,160 - Yeah, look. 285 00:12:52,160 --> 00:12:53,800 - ALL GROAN 286 00:12:53,800 --> 00:12:56,320 - And this. 287 00:12:53,800 --> 00:12:56,320 - ALISON GAGS 288 00:12:56,320 --> 00:12:58,880 - And this. - Oh, what even is it? 289 00:12:58,880 --> 00:13:01,400 - Guys, please! - Oh, here she is! 290 00:13:01,400 --> 00:13:04,440 - Guys, please, please... - Piss off, Mick! 291 00:13:04,440 --> 00:13:06,800 - Can you please go back downstairs? 292 00:13:06,800 --> 00:13:09,720 Because, no offence, but you're actually making me feel really sick. 293 00:13:09,720 --> 00:13:11,400 - We're not going anywhere. 294 00:13:11,400 --> 00:13:13,720 - Mick should go if anyone's doing going! - Yeah, he's a killer! 295 00:13:13,720 --> 00:13:16,680 - ALL MURMUR 296 00:13:13,720 --> 00:13:16,680 - Order! Order! 297 00:13:16,680 --> 00:13:18,720 We need to come to an understanding here. 298 00:13:18,720 --> 00:13:20,360 These...people... 299 00:13:20,360 --> 00:13:22,200 People? Yeah. People. 300 00:13:22,200 --> 00:13:25,800 These people deserve a full inquiry, chaired by me. 301 00:13:25,800 --> 00:13:28,040 Get to the bottom of this business. 302 00:13:28,040 --> 00:13:31,120 - Ha! You couldn't get to the bottom of a birdbath. 303 00:13:31,120 --> 00:13:35,240 - I'll have you know I have extensive experience of public inquiries. 304 00:13:35,240 --> 00:13:39,920 Nice to be the one ASKING the questions, for a change. Ha-ha... 305 00:13:39,920 --> 00:13:42,560 Come on, then, oiks. - Come on, let's go. 306 00:13:42,560 --> 00:13:45,160 - Not all of you. Just your sharpest minds. 307 00:13:45,160 --> 00:13:46,880 - Well, that's definitely me. - You go. 308 00:13:46,880 --> 00:13:48,720 - Do I have to come? - Yeah, you have to come. 309 00:13:48,720 --> 00:13:50,600 It's all about you, innit? Right, you stay here. 310 00:13:50,600 --> 00:13:52,840 No, you stay. You definitely stay. 311 00:13:52,840 --> 00:13:54,720 - Right, you guys search for Dante. 312 00:13:54,720 --> 00:13:56,600 And tell the others. I've got to clear up. 313 00:13:56,600 --> 00:13:58,480 - Patrick, you get the others... - You find the others... 314 00:13:58,480 --> 00:14:00,240 - I'll begin the search. - I'll search upstairs. 315 00:14:00,240 --> 00:14:01,720 - BOTH: - I'm not taking orders from you! 316 00:14:01,720 --> 00:14:03,760 - What is the matter with you two this morning? 317 00:14:03,760 --> 00:14:05,600 Can you just find the dog? Please. 318 00:14:05,600 --> 00:14:07,280 - Well... 319 00:14:15,760 --> 00:14:17,840 - Ah, boy. 320 00:14:20,200 --> 00:14:24,000 - Don't do it, mate. Whatever it is, don't do it. 321 00:14:28,240 --> 00:14:30,360 - HATCH CLUNKS 322 00:14:30,360 --> 00:14:33,080 - Oh. - No, no, no, no, no... 323 00:14:35,280 --> 00:14:36,760 Come on! 324 00:14:41,800 --> 00:14:43,560 - CROAKY: - Alison! 325 00:14:43,560 --> 00:14:46,320 - WEAKLY: - Alison! 326 00:14:46,320 --> 00:14:47,840 - She can't hear you. 327 00:14:47,840 --> 00:14:49,680 I can't hear you. 328 00:15:02,480 --> 00:15:04,120 - JULIAN: - Yes, here we go. 329 00:15:04,120 --> 00:15:07,680 A bit more of that. It's called a Long and Strong. 330 00:15:07,680 --> 00:15:09,880 - It's called a Long and Strong. 331 00:15:09,880 --> 00:15:12,360 - And a slug of dark rum. - Dark rum! 332 00:15:12,360 --> 00:15:13,720 - Yeah. - Oh! 333 00:15:13,720 --> 00:15:15,840 Oh, no! I spilt wine on him. 334 00:15:15,840 --> 00:15:17,800 - I've heard white wine helps. 335 00:15:17,800 --> 00:15:20,480 - Got it. - Oh, yeah, salt helps. 336 00:15:20,480 --> 00:15:22,080 Is that helping? 337 00:15:22,080 --> 00:15:23,960 - Maybe try white wine. 338 00:15:23,960 --> 00:15:26,320 - Actually, white wine's meant to be best, isn't it? 339 00:15:26,320 --> 00:15:28,520 - I said it first! 340 00:15:30,200 --> 00:15:32,280 - Nice little bath! 341 00:15:32,280 --> 00:15:33,800 - I said it first! 342 00:15:35,560 --> 00:15:38,640 - That's a good dog. You're fine. 343 00:15:45,680 --> 00:15:47,200 Where are you? 344 00:15:47,200 --> 00:15:49,760 - Who? Who are you looking for? 345 00:15:49,760 --> 00:15:51,720 - Nothing. No-one. Mike. 346 00:15:51,720 --> 00:15:53,760 - Ah. Well, I saw him going upstairs. 347 00:15:53,760 --> 00:15:56,920 No trousers on. No shoes. At this hour! 348 00:15:56,920 --> 00:15:58,400 - I'll tell him. 349 00:15:58,400 --> 00:16:00,040 - Hmm. 350 00:16:01,560 --> 00:16:03,640 - Oh, God... 351 00:16:08,480 --> 00:16:10,920 - And, Mick, is it fair to say 352 00:16:10,920 --> 00:16:15,440 that these boxes of cloths and furs could have been 353 00:16:15,440 --> 00:16:17,800 brought in by anyone? 354 00:16:17,800 --> 00:16:21,000 - No, I brought that box back when I come back from London 355 00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:25,000 when I gone there. - He confesses! - Killer! - He's just admitted to it! 356 00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:27,160 - Order! Order! 357 00:16:27,160 --> 00:16:29,280 - ALL TALK TOGETHER 358 00:16:29,280 --> 00:16:31,120 Shut up a second, please! 359 00:16:31,120 --> 00:16:34,440 - Oh, right, you do it for her! - Has anyone seen a stuffed dog? 360 00:16:34,440 --> 00:16:37,360 - Mick probably killed it. - Gone walkies, has he? 361 00:16:37,360 --> 00:16:38,640 - Yeah. 362 00:16:38,640 --> 00:16:42,000 - You can't teach an old dog new tricks! - Oh, yeah, love that one. 363 00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:44,240 - DANCE MUSIC 364 00:16:44,240 --> 00:16:46,920 PLAYS ALONG TO MUSIC ON PIANO 365 00:16:50,360 --> 00:16:53,080 Hey, stay out of my personal dance space! 366 00:16:53,080 --> 00:16:55,320 - You call that dancing? 367 00:16:55,320 --> 00:16:57,280 You do but bounce, boy! 368 00:16:57,280 --> 00:16:59,360 - I bounce good! 369 00:17:15,400 --> 00:17:18,040 CAPTAIN: - Stop it! Stop it! 370 00:17:18,040 --> 00:17:20,760 Patrick! Patrick! What on God's green Earth 371 00:17:20,760 --> 00:17:22,680 do you think you're playing at, man?! 372 00:17:22,680 --> 00:17:25,480 - Well... - I sent you down here to stop this nonsense, 373 00:17:25,480 --> 00:17:27,320 and now you're joining in! 374 00:17:27,320 --> 00:17:30,320 Carousing! You are a spineless little traitor! 375 00:17:30,320 --> 00:17:32,360 - Oh, naff off, you wazzock! 376 00:17:32,360 --> 00:17:33,600 - Yes! 377 00:17:33,600 --> 00:17:35,520 ALL CHEER 378 00:17:38,080 --> 00:17:41,280 - Go out of it! - You'll see. Right! 379 00:17:43,120 --> 00:17:44,720 - CAPTAIN: - He's the wazzock... 380 00:17:44,720 --> 00:17:48,360 - Oh, there, there. What ails thee? 381 00:17:48,360 --> 00:17:53,240 - SOBBING: - Alison...hates me! 382 00:17:53,240 --> 00:17:55,360 - SHE WAILS 383 00:17:55,360 --> 00:18:00,440 Let it all out. I always feel better after little cry. 384 00:18:00,440 --> 00:18:02,960 SHE SOBS 385 00:18:02,960 --> 00:18:05,960 DANCE MUSIC 386 00:18:08,480 --> 00:18:10,800 Have a little rest in here. 387 00:18:12,880 --> 00:18:14,480 Oh. 388 00:18:16,960 --> 00:18:19,280 Oh, God...! 389 00:18:19,280 --> 00:18:21,600 Oh, half an hour! 390 00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:23,320 Mike! 391 00:18:23,320 --> 00:18:25,600 I could really do with your help down here! 392 00:18:25,600 --> 00:18:27,680 WEAKLY: - I could do with your help up here! 393 00:18:32,480 --> 00:18:34,560 - Ah. - I've just checked in there. 394 00:18:34,560 --> 00:18:36,880 - Well, I'd like to check for myself, please, Patrick. 395 00:18:36,880 --> 00:18:39,120 - Fine. Fine. - Checking what? 396 00:18:39,120 --> 00:18:41,040 In my room? 397 00:18:41,040 --> 00:18:42,760 - Mice. 398 00:18:42,760 --> 00:18:45,240 Yes. Robin spotted some earlier in the kitchen. 399 00:18:45,240 --> 00:18:48,760 And we know you're not fond, so we thought we'd...ch-check. 400 00:18:48,760 --> 00:18:50,480 - Dante! 401 00:18:50,480 --> 00:18:52,840 Dan... 402 00:18:52,840 --> 00:18:55,080 ..iel. 403 00:18:55,080 --> 00:18:56,640 - Who's Daniel? 404 00:18:56,640 --> 00:18:59,680 - Oh, I was just doing a song about the nice names. 405 00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:02,600 Daniel, Veronica 406 00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:05,040 Clive, Annie. 407 00:19:05,040 --> 00:19:07,080 - Ugh. 408 00:19:07,080 --> 00:19:09,080 - I already checked in there. 409 00:19:09,080 --> 00:19:11,880 No-one listen to me. I don't know why I bother. 410 00:19:18,560 --> 00:19:20,360 Sorry. 411 00:19:23,080 --> 00:19:25,640 MUFFLED DANCE MUSIC 412 00:19:27,200 --> 00:19:29,680 - Oh, she sleeps now. 413 00:19:30,800 --> 00:19:33,240 - Look so peaceful. 414 00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:36,080 SLOW SOUL MUSIC 415 00:19:54,840 --> 00:19:56,800 - Oh! 416 00:19:56,800 --> 00:19:59,480 Right, well, he's not in there. No need to look again. 417 00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:03,560 What's going on? - You are. - What? 418 00:20:07,480 --> 00:20:09,240 - CROAKS: - Tony! 419 00:20:11,080 --> 00:20:12,840 Tony! Tony! Tony! 420 00:20:12,840 --> 00:20:15,360 Tone... No, no, no, no. 421 00:20:15,360 --> 00:20:17,480 Tone... Tone... Tony! Tony! 422 00:20:17,480 --> 00:20:19,400 - HE SIGHS 423 00:20:30,160 --> 00:20:33,240 - Long way down! You know that. 424 00:20:33,240 --> 00:20:34,760 - Oh... 425 00:20:36,880 --> 00:20:39,040 - Any luck? - Negative. - Nothing, I'm afraid. 426 00:20:39,040 --> 00:20:40,600 - And you? - Nuh. 427 00:20:40,600 --> 00:20:42,040 - I might know where he is. 428 00:20:42,040 --> 00:20:44,040 - Oh, thank goodness, Kitty. Where? 429 00:20:44,040 --> 00:20:47,680 - Oh, you can hear me now, can you? You've decided I exist again? 430 00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:50,200 - Oh, God. Kitty, you know that it's very difficult 431 00:20:50,200 --> 00:20:52,440 when other people are around. 432 00:20:52,440 --> 00:20:55,800 Actually, I think I tried to tell you that last night. 433 00:20:57,120 --> 00:20:59,800 I'm so sorry, Kitty, but I can't talk right now, 434 00:20:59,800 --> 00:21:02,240 because I've got guests here. 435 00:21:02,240 --> 00:21:05,040 Kitty, I'm so sorry, but I can't talk right now 436 00:21:05,040 --> 00:21:06,960 because I've got guests here. 437 00:21:06,960 --> 00:21:08,880 Kitty, I'm so sorry, but I... 438 00:21:08,880 --> 00:21:12,880 - Oh! I thought you were talking to someone else called Kitty. 439 00:21:12,880 --> 00:21:14,400 - No. 440 00:21:14,400 --> 00:21:17,440 - Well, that's fine, then! Friends forever. 441 00:21:17,440 --> 00:21:19,720 - Great. Great. 442 00:21:19,720 --> 00:21:21,640 Yes, so where's Dante? 443 00:21:21,640 --> 00:21:23,640 - Have you tried by the front door? 444 00:21:23,640 --> 00:21:25,840 That's where he usually is. 445 00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:31,040 - Thank you, Kitty. - You're welcome! 446 00:21:31,040 --> 00:21:33,800 - There's no way we're going back down there with him. 447 00:21:33,800 --> 00:21:36,360 - I said I was sorry. I'm really sorry. 448 00:21:36,360 --> 00:21:38,760 - You killed my kids, mate. - I've got a boil the size of... 449 00:21:38,760 --> 00:21:41,520 - Look, look, look, we all have disagreements, you know, 450 00:21:41,520 --> 00:21:45,160 but we move on. I'm sure you can all remember something that annoyed you 451 00:21:45,160 --> 00:21:47,760 at the time, but that after a while... You know. 452 00:21:47,760 --> 00:21:50,040 - Yeah, like when John milked my cow without asking. 453 00:21:50,040 --> 00:21:52,000 - There you are. - I asked your wife. 454 00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:54,480 - That's not good enough, though, is it? - So I can't make decisions 455 00:21:54,480 --> 00:21:56,520 in my own marriage? - No, what I'm saying... 456 00:21:56,520 --> 00:21:58,720 - Walter ate my best apple. - Only cos he widdled on my art. 457 00:21:58,720 --> 00:22:00,160 - He did do that. I saw him. - Yeah. 458 00:22:00,160 --> 00:22:01,800 - I improved it, if anything. - What? 459 00:22:01,800 --> 00:22:04,280 - Yeah, you can't do faces. I'm sorry, you can't do faces. 460 00:22:04,280 --> 00:22:05,600 - What's that got to do...? 461 00:22:05,600 --> 00:22:07,920 - I would have killed you if he hadn't killed you! I would've bled you. 462 00:22:07,920 --> 00:22:10,880 I would have bled you out... - Order! Order! 463 00:22:10,880 --> 00:22:14,080 - ALL TALK AT ONCE 464 00:22:14,080 --> 00:22:17,960 Mike? What are you doing? She'll be here soon! 465 00:22:19,440 --> 00:22:21,960 - So, how goes the search? 466 00:22:21,960 --> 00:22:23,560 - What, for the dog or the husband? 467 00:22:23,560 --> 00:22:26,720 - Ha! You'd think he'd be more helpful in your hour of need. 468 00:22:26,720 --> 00:22:28,480 - Yeah, you'd think, wouldn't you? 469 00:22:28,480 --> 00:22:31,560 - I've been thinking...about what you said. 470 00:22:31,560 --> 00:22:35,320 And I know nothing has changed. But everything has changed, has it not? 471 00:22:35,320 --> 00:22:37,200 If we could only... - Mike! 472 00:22:37,200 --> 00:22:39,440 - Honestly, he's probably asleep again. 473 00:22:39,440 --> 00:22:41,360 Snoring, as he was last night. 474 00:22:41,360 --> 00:22:43,800 - What? 475 00:22:43,800 --> 00:22:45,600 HE SNORES 476 00:22:45,600 --> 00:22:47,920 DOOR OPENS 477 00:22:47,920 --> 00:22:50,840 Thank you for walking me home. 478 00:22:50,840 --> 00:22:52,920 - And thank you. 479 00:22:52,920 --> 00:22:57,960 It really was the merriest party this house has seen in centuries. 480 00:22:57,960 --> 00:23:00,200 I shall bid you goodnight, then. 481 00:23:00,200 --> 00:23:01,880 - Thomas? 482 00:23:01,880 --> 00:23:03,080 - Yes? 483 00:23:03,080 --> 00:23:05,760 - If I was 400 years older... 484 00:23:05,760 --> 00:23:08,240 ..and you were alive... 485 00:23:08,240 --> 00:23:11,120 ..and we were the same age, and if I wasn't, 486 00:23:11,120 --> 00:23:14,040 you know, with Mike, then... 487 00:23:14,040 --> 00:23:16,320 ..you and me might have... 488 00:23:19,640 --> 00:23:21,880 Night. 489 00:23:21,880 --> 00:23:23,440 - Ah...! 490 00:23:28,920 --> 00:23:31,520 - Oh, my goodness. Oh, Thomas, I didn't mean to... 491 00:23:31,520 --> 00:23:33,200 I was very drunk, and... 492 00:23:33,200 --> 00:23:36,200 SNORING 493 00:23:36,200 --> 00:23:37,640 Dante! 494 00:23:41,440 --> 00:23:44,120 Oh, God. 495 00:23:44,120 --> 00:23:47,880 - Can we please get back to the business in hand? 496 00:23:47,880 --> 00:23:49,920 - You're not very good at this, are you? 497 00:23:49,920 --> 00:23:52,760 - Excuse me. I'm not about to take diplomacy lessons from 498 00:23:52,760 --> 00:23:55,960 a diseased, unwashed...you know. 499 00:23:55,960 --> 00:23:58,480 - I beg your pardon? - Sorry, what's that supposed to mean, "unwashed"? 500 00:23:58,480 --> 00:24:00,200 - I had a bath every year. 501 00:24:00,200 --> 00:24:02,160 - Well...you smell! 502 00:24:02,160 --> 00:24:03,760 There, I said it. 503 00:24:03,760 --> 00:24:05,360 - That's a nasty thing to say. 504 00:24:05,360 --> 00:24:07,040 - Not just him. Yeah, you all do. 505 00:24:07,040 --> 00:24:09,680 - How dare you?! - What are you saying? - I mean... 506 00:24:09,680 --> 00:24:12,920 - Hang on, you can't take it back now! - Yeah, take that back. 507 00:24:12,920 --> 00:24:15,560 - No, I don't want to take it back. I mean it! You smell! 508 00:24:15,560 --> 00:24:18,800 You smell of dung, of caca, of poo-poo. Manure! 509 00:24:18,800 --> 00:24:21,280 Yes! I don't know how I thought this could work. 510 00:24:21,280 --> 00:24:23,000 None of you have got any respect. 511 00:24:23,000 --> 00:24:25,080 You know, that's the problem with the common man - 512 00:24:25,080 --> 00:24:28,960 he doesn't know when to shut up and listen to the voice of reason. 513 00:24:37,200 --> 00:24:39,840 - Oh, God, this is... Oh, God, it's really horrible. 514 00:24:39,840 --> 00:24:42,240 - Just stuff its head back into shape and pop its eye back in. 515 00:24:42,240 --> 00:24:43,640 - Yes, I know, but... 516 00:24:43,640 --> 00:24:46,240 - Maybe use some tissues or something. - Yes, but how do I...? 517 00:24:46,240 --> 00:24:48,400 - Underneath the tail. - Bum. Bum. 518 00:24:48,400 --> 00:24:49,920 - She's coming! 519 00:24:49,920 --> 00:24:52,640 - Quick, quick, quick. - Stop, stop. 520 00:24:52,640 --> 00:24:55,080 - FAINT VOICES 521 00:24:55,080 --> 00:24:57,320 - Deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper! 522 00:24:59,880 --> 00:25:01,560 - Oh, God. 523 00:25:01,560 --> 00:25:04,080 FAINT VOICES 524 00:25:04,080 --> 00:25:06,880 Shh, shh. Oh, God, he's still wet. 525 00:25:06,880 --> 00:25:08,920 - Stick him by the fire, he'll soon dry out. 526 00:25:08,920 --> 00:25:10,600 - Make haste! 527 00:25:13,120 --> 00:25:14,880 - Yeah, no, yeah, no. 528 00:25:14,880 --> 00:25:16,480 Yeah, no... 529 00:25:16,480 --> 00:25:19,040 - Oh! Nice to see you. - Oh, hello, you! 530 00:25:19,040 --> 00:25:21,840 - Hello, Fanny. - How are you doing? 531 00:25:28,920 --> 00:25:31,160 - What's Dante doing there? 532 00:25:31,160 --> 00:25:34,080 - Well, I was just tidying up and I thought 533 00:25:34,080 --> 00:25:36,960 that we should try him in a new spot. 534 00:25:50,800 --> 00:25:53,640 - Yes, he's nice there. 535 00:25:53,640 --> 00:25:56,360 He used to like sitting by the fire. 536 00:25:56,360 --> 00:25:58,880 - ALL LAUGH NERVOUSLY 537 00:26:05,160 --> 00:26:07,440 INSECTS BUZZING 538 00:26:05,160 --> 00:26:07,440 - Uggggh. 539 00:26:07,440 --> 00:26:09,920 - Oh, yeah, that'll be the pigeons, mate. 540 00:26:09,920 --> 00:26:12,200 Amazing how much they produce. 541 00:26:16,480 --> 00:26:18,920 - SHE SIGHS 542 00:26:18,920 --> 00:26:20,680 We did it. 543 00:26:24,040 --> 00:26:26,160 Well, I did it. 544 00:26:26,160 --> 00:26:28,800 - Well, it was difficult, but my careful diplomacy 545 00:26:28,800 --> 00:26:30,680 led them to a full reconciliation. 546 00:26:30,680 --> 00:26:32,440 - I'm not staying up here with him. 547 00:26:32,440 --> 00:26:35,160 - I'd rather live with Mick, and he killed my whole family. 548 00:26:35,160 --> 00:26:37,960 - I am sorry. - That's all right, Mick. 549 00:26:37,960 --> 00:26:40,720 They were lovely... - Yeah, to die for. 550 00:26:40,720 --> 00:26:43,320 - I suppose... - You know, people say things... 551 00:26:43,320 --> 00:26:45,480 - ..sometimes you get carried away... - ..they don't mean. 552 00:26:45,480 --> 00:26:47,920 - ..and I really didn't mean to, and... - Well, all I want to say is 553 00:26:47,920 --> 00:26:50,880 I'm sorry... - ..I'd like to forget... - ..good to have you back. Thank you. 554 00:26:55,160 --> 00:26:57,560 - We cool? 555 00:26:57,560 --> 00:26:59,400 - Yeah, we be cool. 556 00:27:00,680 --> 00:27:02,200 - OK. 557 00:27:08,320 --> 00:27:11,600 Mike, where are you?! She's here! 558 00:27:18,360 --> 00:27:20,880 Oh, God. 559 00:27:18,360 --> 00:27:20,880 KNOCK AT DOOR 560 00:27:20,880 --> 00:27:22,560 OK, everyone, shh! 561 00:27:24,520 --> 00:27:26,560 BREATHES IN DEEPLY 562 00:27:26,560 --> 00:27:28,680 BREATHES OUT 563 00:27:28,680 --> 00:27:30,600 Welcome to Button House... 564 00:27:30,600 --> 00:27:32,320 CLATTERING 565 00:27:34,680 --> 00:27:36,280 SHE GASPS 566 00:27:37,360 --> 00:27:39,600 HE YELLS 567 00:27:39,600 --> 00:27:41,160 - Ow! 568 00:27:42,160 --> 00:27:43,440 Urghhhhh! 569 00:27:43,440 --> 00:27:44,480 - SHE RETCHES