1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162
WWW.MY-SUBS.CO

1
00:00:01,885 --> 00:00:03,641
Here, try this.

2
00:00:03,642 --> 00:00:06,044
-What is it?
-Just try it.

3
00:00:06,356 --> 00:00:07,505
Hey, that's good.

4
00:00:07,506 --> 00:00:09,709
Of course it is.
It's chicken in frumunda sauce.

5
00:00:09,710 --> 00:00:10,827
Frumunda sauce?

6
00:00:10,828 --> 00:00:13,259
Yeah, from unda' the toilet.

7
00:00:15,203 --> 00:00:16,448
Get it, Dad?

8
00:00:16,449 --> 00:00:20,216
Yeah, I get it. I got it 30 years ago,
the first time he said it.

9
00:00:20,217 --> 00:00:22,610
Yeah, but it's new to him.

10
00:00:22,644 --> 00:00:24,241
Check this out. Hey, Jake?

11
00:00:24,242 --> 00:00:27,403
What do you call the red mushy stuff
between the elephant's toes?

12
00:00:27,403 --> 00:00:29,863
-What?
-Slow-moving natives.

13
00:00:29,991 --> 00:00:32,449
I love this kid. He's a comedy blank slate.

14
00:00:32,450 --> 00:00:35,610
I'm glad you do, but you might not
want to share your chopsticks with him.

15
00:00:35,611 --> 00:00:38,485
-I think he's coming down with something.
-Oh, no.

16
00:00:38,486 --> 00:00:42,199
He thinks it's a head cold but it's snot.

17
00:00:42,254 --> 00:00:44,553
Wait a minute,
you don't know that one, either?

18
00:00:44,554 --> 00:00:48,124
I have so much to teach you, grasshopper.

19
00:00:48,195 --> 00:00:50,078
Do you know how to make arm farts?

20
00:00:50,079 --> 00:00:52,941
Charlie? Not at the dinner table.

21
00:00:52,986 --> 00:00:54,709
I'll show you later.

22
00:00:54,710 --> 00:00:56,976
Before I forget,
you got plans for tomorrow night?

23
00:00:56,977 --> 00:00:59,085
-No.
-Make some.

24
00:00:59,086 --> 00:01:02,087
-I'm gonna need the house to myself.
-Fine.

25
00:01:02,088 --> 00:01:03,780
Don't you want to know why?

26
00:01:03,781 --> 00:01:06,973
Jake, if you're done, you can go
to your room and start your homework.

27
00:01:06,974 --> 00:01:09,367
This is about sex, right?

28
00:01:09,912 --> 00:01:11,157
Kids today, huh?

29
00:01:11,158 --> 00:01:14,798
Doesn't know frumunda sauce
but gets why I need the house.

30
00:01:14,799 --> 00:01:17,704
I got a bunch of jokes
you're gonna love in a year or two.

31
00:01:17,705 --> 00:01:20,253
-Cool!
-Go.

32
00:01:20,324 --> 00:01:23,808
You think I'm just a kid but I'm snot.

33
00:01:24,795 --> 00:01:27,188
Wait, that's not right.

34
00:01:28,628 --> 00:01:32,069
Okay, have you ever had revenge sex?

35
00:01:32,141 --> 00:01:35,328
Hang on. Jake, are you in your room?

36
00:01:36,549 --> 00:01:38,942
Yeah!

37
00:01:38,976 --> 00:01:41,977
Revenge sex.
Is that anything like pity sex?

38
00:01:41,978 --> 00:01:44,021
Whole different animal.

39
00:01:44,022 --> 00:01:45,649
Let me break it down for you.

40
00:01:45,650 --> 00:01:47,917
There's this woman, Kathy,
who lives up the beach.

41
00:01:47,918 --> 00:01:51,302
Beautiful woman, I've wanted her
for years. Only one problem.

42
00:01:51,303 --> 00:01:53,761
She's married to kind of a friend of mine.

43
00:01:53,762 --> 00:01:54,975
Kind of a friend?

44
00:01:54,976 --> 00:01:57,849
Well, I never really liked him,
but he had a hot wife.

45
00:01:57,850 --> 00:02:00,564
So, the sanctity of marriage
does slow you down a bit.

46
00:02:00,565 --> 00:02:02,640
-I'm impressed.
-Thank you.

47
00:02:02,641 --> 00:02:04,142
But then I catch a break.

48
00:02:04,143 --> 00:02:05,803
He cheats on her with her best friend.

49
00:02:05,804 --> 00:02:08,964
She throws him out. So now I'm thinking
she is gonna want justice.

50
00:02:08,965 --> 00:02:11,136
Justice meaning revenge sex with you?

51
00:02:11,137 --> 00:02:13,148
You see it, too, huh?

52
00:02:13,149 --> 00:02:17,203
You're gonna exploit someone's anger
and grief for your own animal gratification.

53
00:02:17,204 --> 00:02:20,545
Hey, I don't bitch about your hobbies.

54
00:02:20,718 --> 00:02:24,134
She's coming over here on Sunday,
so I want you to be out of the way,

55
00:02:24,135 --> 00:02:26,657
because we'll probably be moving
from room to room.

56
00:02:26,658 --> 00:02:29,563
I'll catch a movie.
Just mop up when you're done.

57
00:02:29,564 --> 00:02:30,650
You got it.

58
00:02:30,651 --> 00:02:33,716
Don't take things off his plate.
He's coming down with something.

59
00:02:33,717 --> 00:02:36,110
Relax. I never get sick.

60
00:02:36,623 --> 00:02:39,171
Boy, is he sick.

61
00:02:42,915 --> 00:02:46,198
Well, I can't say he didn't warn me.

62
00:02:56,648 --> 00:02:57,860
How you feeling?

63
00:02:57,861 --> 00:03:00,254
Horrible.

64
00:03:00,895 --> 00:03:03,288
-ls that tea?
-Yeah.

65
00:03:10,956 --> 00:03:13,637
I know I said I wanted you
out of the house for my date tonight,

66
00:03:13,638 --> 00:03:16,353
but you're obviously indisposed,
so don't worry about it.

67
00:03:16,354 --> 00:03:17,470
Thank you.

68
00:03:17,471 --> 00:03:21,431
Just stay in your room so the coughing
and hacking doesn't kill the mood.

69
00:03:21,432 --> 00:03:24,816
Anything else I can do
to enhance your evening?

70
00:03:24,817 --> 00:03:28,387
Well, you know how to
work my camcorder?

71
00:03:30,055 --> 00:03:32,130
I'm bored. What are we gonna do today?

72
00:03:32,131 --> 00:03:35,356
I don't know. Why don't we make
some lunch and figure something out?

73
00:03:35,357 --> 00:03:36,952
-Cool.
-Excuse me?

74
00:03:36,953 --> 00:03:39,603
Hasn't anybody noticed
I'm sick and miserable here?

75
00:03:39,604 --> 00:03:41,519
Yes, Alan, we noticed.

76
00:03:41,520 --> 00:03:43,915
Which is why we're gonna make
like hockey players

77
00:03:43,916 --> 00:03:45,862
and get the puck out of here.

78
00:03:45,863 --> 00:03:49,791
Get it, Dad? Puck's not a bad word,
but it sounds like one.

79
00:03:49,792 --> 00:03:51,644
Yeah, hilarious.

80
00:03:51,645 --> 00:03:55,092
Hey, Uncle Charlie, let's make like
soccer players and get our big

81
00:03:55,093 --> 00:03:57,486
Ieather balls out of here.

82
00:03:58,160 --> 00:03:59,309
Good one.

83
00:03:59,310 --> 00:04:02,151
You know, I caught this from you.
How come you're not sick?

84
00:04:02,152 --> 00:04:04,545
I am. See?

85
00:04:05,665 --> 00:04:08,901
He's just not being a baby about it.

86
00:04:09,912 --> 00:04:12,305
-Hi.
-Perfect.

87
00:04:14,320 --> 00:04:18,056
Rose, this isn't the best time.
Alan's pretty sick.

88
00:04:18,057 --> 00:04:20,450
Oh, no!

89
00:04:20,676 --> 00:04:24,667
Poor Alan.
Is Charlie taking good care of you?

90
00:04:24,668 --> 00:04:26,999
Not really.

91
00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:28,978
Would you like me to take care of you?

92
00:04:28,979 --> 00:04:30,990
Not really.

93
00:04:30,991 --> 00:04:33,384
Don't be silly. Move over.

94
00:04:33,419 --> 00:04:36,260
Rose, what are you doing?

95
00:04:38,656 --> 00:04:43,394
I'm transmitting healing energy
from my body to yours.

96
00:04:47,279 --> 00:04:51,175
Looks like you're in good hands.
Come on, Jake.

97
00:04:51,176 --> 00:04:53,187
I don't think that's gonna help him.

98
00:04:53,188 --> 00:04:55,581
No, but it helps us.

99
00:04:58,745 --> 00:05:01,555
Is he gonna be able to take me
back to Mom's later?

100
00:05:01,556 --> 00:05:04,493
Don't worry. If he can't, I will.

101
00:05:04,494 --> 00:05:07,687
Hey, how can you tell if an elephant's
been in your refrigerator?

102
00:05:07,688 --> 00:05:10,977
-How?
-There's footprints in the cheesecake.

103
00:05:10,978 --> 00:05:13,532
But we don't have a cheesecake.

104
00:05:13,533 --> 00:05:16,261
That's the part you don't buy?

105
00:05:20,527 --> 00:05:23,236
Do you feel the healing energy?

106
00:05:23,274 --> 00:05:26,356
If I say yes, will you get off me?

107
00:05:28,767 --> 00:05:31,160
-Hello?
-Mom?

108
00:05:31,673 --> 00:05:34,675
For God's sake, Alan, I sit on that couch.

109
00:05:34,676 --> 00:05:36,111
Mom, I'm sick.

110
00:05:36,112 --> 00:05:40,266
We're all sick, darling,
but we use discretion.

111
00:05:40,456 --> 00:05:42,858
No, he has the flu, Evelyn.

112
00:05:43,522 --> 00:05:47,216
You poor baby.
What can Mommy do for you?

113
00:05:47,674 --> 00:05:49,205
It's okay. I'll manage.

114
00:05:49,206 --> 00:05:51,729
Don't be ridiculous.
Now what do you need?

115
00:05:51,730 --> 00:05:54,667
I don't know. I am kind of thirsty.

116
00:05:54,668 --> 00:05:58,500
Well, then,
you should be drinking lots of fluids.

117
00:05:58,501 --> 00:06:00,289
Okay.

118
00:06:00,290 --> 00:06:05,207
Would you like a nice hot bowl
of my special chicken noodle soup?

119
00:06:05,207 --> 00:06:06,612
That would be nice.

120
00:06:06,613 --> 00:06:10,317
Rose, call Greenblatt's
and have them send over some soup.

121
00:06:10,318 --> 00:06:14,405
As a matter of fact, I'm famished.
Order me...

122
00:06:14,406 --> 00:06:18,301
Order me a turkey on rye
with maybe a little Swiss.

123
00:06:18,302 --> 00:06:22,613
On second thought, delivery takes forever.
Would you care to join me for lunch?

124
00:06:22,614 --> 00:06:25,129
Well, what about Alan?

125
00:06:25,201 --> 00:06:27,979
We'll have something sent back for him.

126
00:06:27,980 --> 00:06:29,032
Okay.

127
00:06:29,033 --> 00:06:31,076
So, what's Charlie been up to?

128
00:06:31,077 --> 00:06:33,408
Well, what do you know about
revenge sex?

129
00:06:33,409 --> 00:06:35,802
Quite a bit, actually.

130
00:06:39,157 --> 00:06:41,550
I'm still thirsty.

131
00:07:00,843 --> 00:07:03,293
Hey. Looking good.

132
00:07:13,777 --> 00:07:17,513
That's not very hygienic.
We wash dishes in that sink.

133
00:07:17,514 --> 00:07:19,907
Well, somebody does.

134
00:07:20,229 --> 00:07:26,029
Did the chicken soup Mom sent over
from Greenblatt's ever show up?

135
00:07:26,808 --> 00:07:29,201
Nope.

136
00:07:31,279 --> 00:07:34,377
Well, I'm glad you got some rest,
because I have got great news.

137
00:07:34,378 --> 00:07:36,548
There is no great news.

138
00:07:36,549 --> 00:07:39,263
There's no light at the end of the tunnel.

139
00:07:39,264 --> 00:07:41,657
There is no silver lining.

140
00:07:41,659 --> 00:07:44,569
There is just this hell on earth.

141
00:07:44,630 --> 00:07:49,128
And the slow wait
for the sweet release of death.

142
00:07:52,102 --> 00:07:54,783
Okay. Let's call it good news.

143
00:07:55,999 --> 00:08:01,694
The girl I'm going out with tonight
needs a date for her sister.

144
00:08:02,738 --> 00:08:04,813
Are you insane?

145
00:08:04,814 --> 00:08:08,882
No, but I hear the sister's a bit of a freak.

146
00:08:08,902 --> 00:08:11,201
Jake? Jake, go to your room.

147
00:08:11,202 --> 00:08:15,640
If you want to talk about sex,
why don't you go to your room?

148
00:08:15,641 --> 00:08:17,524
-Now!
-Fine.

149
00:08:17,525 --> 00:08:20,782
First of all, I don't want to talk
about dating in front of my son

150
00:08:20,783 --> 00:08:23,305
while his mother and l
are in the middle of a divorce.

151
00:08:23,306 --> 00:08:26,371
Okay. That's very caring and sensitive.

152
00:08:26,372 --> 00:08:31,258
Now let me tell you about
Revenge Sex's little sister, Casual.

153
00:08:31,258 --> 00:08:35,633
Alright, even if I weren't deathly ill,
which I am,

154
00:08:35,634 --> 00:08:38,347
I wouldn't go on a blind double date
with you.

155
00:08:38,348 --> 00:08:41,286
-Why not?
-Summer of my junior year?

156
00:08:41,287 --> 00:08:43,649
The Seals and Crofts concert?

157
00:08:43,650 --> 00:08:50,293
You got the incredible cheerleader
and I got her sister, The lncredible Hulk?

158
00:08:51,251 --> 00:08:52,943
She really took a shine to you.

159
00:08:52,944 --> 00:08:55,873
Sure did. "Sarah like puny Alan."

160
00:08:56,266 --> 00:08:59,203
You weren't complaining
when you were on her shoulders

161
00:08:59,204 --> 00:09:01,597
shouting Summer Breeze!

162
00:09:01,790 --> 00:09:03,802
Forget it, Charlie, forget it.

163
00:09:03,803 --> 00:09:07,666
Alan, trust me. I've seen the sister.
Her name is Desiree.

164
00:09:07,667 --> 00:09:09,231
I don't care what her name is.

165
00:09:09,232 --> 00:09:14,372
Desiree, Alan. That's like desire
with a "yay" at the end.

166
00:09:14,726 --> 00:09:17,726
-She's an actress on some soap opera.
-Really, which one?

167
00:09:17,727 --> 00:09:20,601
I don't know.
The Bold and the Bulimic, or something.

168
00:09:20,602 --> 00:09:21,974
Are you guys done yet?

169
00:09:21,975 --> 00:09:23,092
Yeah, we're done.

170
00:09:23,093 --> 00:09:25,328
Now we're gonna get your father
back on his feet.

171
00:09:25,329 --> 00:09:26,701
How?

172
00:09:26,702 --> 00:09:27,947
Well,

173
00:09:27,948 --> 00:09:30,278
would you like to go see a bunch
of naked boobs?

174
00:09:30,279 --> 00:09:32,672
-Sure!
-Charlie!

175
00:09:36,315 --> 00:09:39,608
This was a dirty trick, Uncle Charlie.

176
00:09:49,154 --> 00:09:51,959
So we just sit here and be hot?

177
00:09:53,562 --> 00:09:55,062
Yep.

178
00:09:55,063 --> 00:09:57,456
This sucks.

179
00:10:01,258 --> 00:10:06,719
That's good. Get it out now,
because most women hate that noise.

180
00:10:06,720 --> 00:10:08,955
I'm not going on a date, Charlie.

181
00:10:08,956 --> 00:10:10,360
You don't know that.

182
00:10:10,361 --> 00:10:13,777
I didn't start this day thinking we'd all be
sitting bare-ass naked,

183
00:10:13,778 --> 00:10:16,171
but here we are.

184
00:10:16,461 --> 00:10:19,142
Hey, Dad, want to hear a funny joke?

185
00:10:19,143 --> 00:10:20,324
Sure, why not?

186
00:10:20,325 --> 00:10:22,879
Okay, there's a priest,
a minister, and a rabbit.

187
00:10:22,880 --> 00:10:25,243
It's a rabbi, Jake.

188
00:10:25,244 --> 00:10:26,807
Oh, yeah. Okay.

189
00:10:26,808 --> 00:10:29,795
A priest, a minister, and a rabbi.

190
00:10:29,907 --> 00:10:33,195
I forgot the rest.
I gotta go to the bathroom.

191
00:10:33,196 --> 00:10:34,345
Wait.

192
00:10:34,346 --> 00:10:37,092
You know why they call this
a European health spa?

193
00:10:37,093 --> 00:10:39,486
Because you're a-peein'.

194
00:10:41,021 --> 00:10:43,479
He's gonna kill at school tomorrow.

195
00:10:43,480 --> 00:10:45,970
Charlie, I'm not going on a date.

196
00:10:45,971 --> 00:10:47,886
Oh, come on, Alan.

197
00:10:47,887 --> 00:10:50,825
If you don't do this, then I'm not
gonna get the revenge sex.

198
00:10:50,826 --> 00:10:54,626
And I really want the revenge sex.
I really do.

199
00:10:54,626 --> 00:10:57,915
I'm sorry.
It's not that I don't appreciate you,

200
00:10:57,916 --> 00:11:00,342
pimping me out on my deathbed.

201
00:11:00,343 --> 00:11:03,664
It's just that I'm not ready to date.

202
00:11:03,665 --> 00:11:04,845
Not ready?

203
00:11:04,846 --> 00:11:08,646
If you think you're protecting Jake
by living like a monk, you're wrong.

204
00:11:08,647 --> 00:11:12,446
He needs to know that his father's
moving on with his life, that he's happy.

205
00:11:12,447 --> 00:11:16,056
It's not about Jake.
I haven't been on a date since college.

206
00:11:16,057 --> 00:11:18,546
There's nothing to worry about.
Just be yourself.

207
00:11:18,547 --> 00:11:22,763
The one woman who knows me better
than anyone in the world threw me out.

208
00:11:22,764 --> 00:11:27,099
So "be yourself"
is not exactly comforting advice.

209
00:11:27,394 --> 00:11:29,787
Good point.

210
00:11:30,556 --> 00:11:32,727
Okay, look at it this way.

211
00:11:32,728 --> 00:11:35,314
It took your wife 12 years
to get sick of you.

212
00:11:35,315 --> 00:11:39,817
All we gotta do here
is snow some broad for one night.

213
00:11:39,818 --> 00:11:44,375
A priest, a minister, and a rabbi
walk into a barn.

214
00:11:44,385 --> 00:11:47,290
It's a bar, Jake. Not a barn. A bar.

215
00:11:47,291 --> 00:11:49,270
It is?

216
00:11:49,271 --> 00:11:51,722
Now I get it. That's funny.

217
00:12:00,418 --> 00:12:03,771
Okay, I dropped Jake off at his mom's,

218
00:12:03,772 --> 00:12:06,772
and the girls should be here
in a little while for drinks.

219
00:12:06,773 --> 00:12:08,657
Is this the sister?

220
00:12:08,658 --> 00:12:11,276
Desiree Barrington from
The Young and the Restless?

221
00:12:11,277 --> 00:12:12,394
Yeah.

222
00:12:12,395 --> 00:12:17,027
You want me to go on a date
with Desiree Barrington?

223
00:12:17,313 --> 00:12:19,706
Yeah.

224
00:12:24,020 --> 00:12:26,414
I'm healed. It's a miracle.

225
00:12:26,415 --> 00:12:28,808
Attaboy.

226
00:12:30,791 --> 00:12:32,195
Are you okay?

227
00:12:32,196 --> 00:12:33,409
Yeah. Why?

228
00:12:33,409 --> 00:12:36,779
Well, you're coughing, you're sweating.

229
00:12:37,753 --> 00:12:39,668
Charlie, you're burning up.

230
00:12:39,669 --> 00:12:42,062
No, your hand is freezing.

231
00:12:43,151 --> 00:12:46,056
I think you're coming down
with what I've got.

232
00:12:46,057 --> 00:12:49,250
Don't be ridiculous. I never get sick.

233
00:12:49,251 --> 00:12:52,316
Now, listen, I made reservations
at the lvy.

234
00:12:52,316 --> 00:12:57,657
I figure we'll take them out
for an early dinner and then...

235
00:13:01,131 --> 00:13:03,462
And then what?

236
00:13:03,463 --> 00:13:05,856
Hang on a second.

237
00:13:25,531 --> 00:13:28,795
Anyway, we'll take them to the lvy...

238
00:13:38,147 --> 00:13:41,210
Here. This'll make you feel better.

239
00:13:44,055 --> 00:13:46,448
Thanks.

240
00:13:46,547 --> 00:13:47,727
Okay.

241
00:13:47,728 --> 00:13:50,219
Why don't you go upstairs and change

242
00:13:50,220 --> 00:13:53,572
because we really want to look our best
for our dates.

243
00:13:53,573 --> 00:13:56,446
What are you talking about?
I'm not going on a date.

244
00:13:56,447 --> 00:13:58,075
Yeah, you are.

245
00:13:58,076 --> 00:14:00,534
Come on, Charlie. Desiree Barrington.

246
00:14:00,535 --> 00:14:03,273
Nominated for two Daytime Emmys.

247
00:14:03,345 --> 00:14:06,698
Named "Most Promising lngénue"
by Soap Opera Digest.

248
00:14:06,699 --> 00:14:10,758
She totally revitalized
Young and the Restless.

249
00:14:10,819 --> 00:14:15,928
Occasionally I have lunch at my desk
and watch a little TV.

250
00:14:15,929 --> 00:14:18,322
Tell Jake I loved him.

251
00:14:19,123 --> 00:14:22,315
Please, Charlie.
I was gonna suck it up for you.

252
00:14:22,316 --> 00:14:24,327
No, you weren't.

253
00:14:24,328 --> 00:14:26,721
Okay, you got me.

254
00:14:26,788 --> 00:14:29,848
Look, you helped me feel better,

255
00:14:29,918 --> 00:14:31,674
and now I'll help you.

256
00:14:31,675 --> 00:14:33,399
You want to help me, Alan?

257
00:14:33,400 --> 00:14:36,558
Find a gun and shoot me in the eye.

258
00:14:36,688 --> 00:14:40,552
No, I was thinking I could give you
a chiropractic adjustment.

259
00:14:40,553 --> 00:14:44,129
You could also do my hair,
but what would be the point?

260
00:14:44,130 --> 00:14:47,164
Chiropractics
is not just about back ailments.

261
00:14:47,165 --> 00:14:50,165
It's a holistic approach
to wellness that includes

262
00:14:50,166 --> 00:14:52,593
unblocking pathways
in the nervous system

263
00:14:52,594 --> 00:14:55,503
so that the body can heal itself.

264
00:14:58,949 --> 00:15:01,627
Excuse me? What is...

265
00:15:02,813 --> 00:15:05,876
Alan. I never told you this before,

266
00:15:06,423 --> 00:15:10,137
but I guess now is as good a time as any.

267
00:15:10,798 --> 00:15:15,326
I think what you do for a living
is a total crock.

268
00:15:16,834 --> 00:15:18,431
What?

269
00:15:18,432 --> 00:15:20,154
Don't take it personally.

270
00:15:20,155 --> 00:15:22,199
But you chiropractor guys are just

271
00:15:22,200 --> 00:15:25,904
masseuses without the happy endings,
right?

272
00:15:26,351 --> 00:15:28,299
You think I'm some kind of phony?

273
00:15:28,300 --> 00:15:31,238
That my profession is some kind of con?

274
00:15:31,239 --> 00:15:32,674
Well, let's be honest.

275
00:15:32,675 --> 00:15:36,443
You only became a chiropractor because
you couldn't get into medical school.

276
00:15:36,444 --> 00:15:38,423
I got into medical school!

277
00:15:38,424 --> 00:15:42,480
I just didn't want to spend four years
in Guadalajara.

278
00:15:42,481 --> 00:15:47,142
So instead you spent, what,
two weeks at Back Snapper U?

279
00:15:47,143 --> 00:15:49,091
It was two years.

280
00:15:49,092 --> 00:15:50,463
And since we're being honest,

281
00:15:50,464 --> 00:15:54,711
Iet me tell you about what I think about
what you do, Mr. Jingle Writer.

282
00:15:54,712 --> 00:15:58,991
You're not a musician, you're a salesman.
You know what you sell?

283
00:15:58,992 --> 00:16:01,003
Crap!

284
00:16:01,004 --> 00:16:03,877
Granny's Big Fudge Nuggets?
Maple Loops?

285
00:16:03,878 --> 00:16:08,029
Hey, Maple Loops is part of a nutritious,
balanced breakfast.

286
00:16:08,030 --> 00:16:11,766
Yeah, if you eat it with a steak
and some broccoli.

287
00:16:11,767 --> 00:16:15,056
And let me tell you another thing.
You had a shot at a real career.

288
00:16:15,057 --> 00:16:16,717
You could've played in great bands.

289
00:16:16,718 --> 00:16:18,888
You could've been a respected
studio musician.

290
00:16:18,889 --> 00:16:20,709
Don't you think I wanted that?

291
00:16:20,710 --> 00:16:23,189
I tried, Alan, and I failed.

292
00:16:23,360 --> 00:16:26,712
The truth is, if I hadn't started
writing jingles, I'd be playing

293
00:16:26,713 --> 00:16:30,925
faculty mixers
at the Guadalajara Medical School.

294
00:16:32,399 --> 00:16:36,198
Since you're being honest,
I guess I can admit,

295
00:16:36,199 --> 00:16:39,415
I didn't really get into Guadalajara.

296
00:16:40,543 --> 00:16:44,821
I guess neither of us is doing exactly what
we dreamed about when we were kids.

297
00:16:44,822 --> 00:16:46,290
I guess not.

298
00:16:46,291 --> 00:16:48,622
But you know,
we could be doing a lot worse.

299
00:16:48,623 --> 00:16:51,016
Yes, we could.

300
00:16:51,721 --> 00:16:54,114
Excuse me.

301
00:17:13,119 --> 00:17:15,675
You know what's nice, though?

302
00:17:19,730 --> 00:17:22,123
This. Right now.

303
00:17:22,126 --> 00:17:25,255
Taking care of each other,
like we did when we were kids.

304
00:17:25,256 --> 00:17:28,672
Well, no one else was gonna
take care of us.

305
00:17:28,673 --> 00:17:31,156
-We were on our own.
-Yeah.

306
00:17:31,292 --> 00:17:33,694
Dad was gone and Mom was...

307
00:17:35,316 --> 00:17:37,709
What are you doing? Hey!

308
00:17:40,522 --> 00:17:42,915
How do you feel?

309
00:17:44,226 --> 00:17:46,619
Actually, a little better.

310
00:17:47,133 --> 00:17:50,805
Total crock, huh?
Lay down, I'll do your back.

311
00:17:50,806 --> 00:17:53,902
-No, I'm fine, thanks.
-No, really, it'll help.

312
00:17:53,903 --> 00:17:56,681
I mean it, Alan.
Keep your hands away from me.

313
00:17:56,682 --> 00:17:58,597
Come on, don't be such a baby.

314
00:17:58,598 --> 00:18:02,685
I'm not a baby.
I just don't like a man touching me.

315
00:18:02,686 --> 00:18:04,921
I let you do it to me once,
that was enough.

316
00:18:04,922 --> 00:18:07,795
And you liked it. Now come on,
just let me finish the job,

317
00:18:07,796 --> 00:18:11,404
and you'll be ready
for when the women get here.

318
00:18:11,405 --> 00:18:13,798
-No.
-Just relax. Come on.

319
00:18:14,088 --> 00:18:16,481
Wait. Car doors.

320
00:18:16,611 --> 00:18:19,004
They're here.

321
00:18:21,593 --> 00:18:23,986
How do I look?

322
00:18:26,799 --> 00:18:29,098
Good. Me?

323
00:18:29,099 --> 00:18:31,492
Very nice.

324
00:18:37,722 --> 00:18:40,115
Thank you.

325
00:18:59,791 --> 00:19:02,184
Was that the doorbell?

326
00:19:02,474 --> 00:19:05,507
Alan, relax. Chicks are always late.

327
00:19:05,508 --> 00:19:07,901
I guess.

328
00:19:09,276 --> 00:19:11,511
What about that?

329
00:19:11,511 --> 00:19:14,326
-What about what?
-The doorbell.

330
00:19:15,121 --> 00:19:18,726
Alan, relax. Chicks are always late.

331
00:19:19,560 --> 00:19:21,953
I guess.

332
00:19:24,031 --> 00:19:26,424
Now, that was the doorbell.