1 00:00:31,200 --> 00:00:33,467 What do you want to know? Um... 2 00:00:36,701 --> 00:00:40,868 See that? A clock, calculator in one. So... 3 00:00:40,934 --> 00:00:42,701 That's free. Thank you. 4 00:00:45,968 --> 00:00:47,467 Oh, here we go. 5 00:00:48,434 --> 00:00:50,734 -(ANSWER MACHINE BEEPS) -Three. 6 00:00:50,801 --> 00:00:52,434 Hello, David, it's Paul Shepherd here. Can you give us a call, mate? Cheers. 7 00:00:52,500 --> 00:00:54,868 No! 8 00:00:54,934 --> 00:00:57,334 Dave, it's Julian. Can you give us a ring, please? 9 00:00:57,400 --> 00:00:59,267 -Go away! -(ANSWER MACHINE BEEPS) 10 00:00:59,334 --> 00:01:00,901 Good bloke. Good laugh. 11 00:01:01,100 --> 00:01:05,100 -David, it's Paul again, I think... -Leave me alone! 12 00:01:05,167 --> 00:01:06,767 (MESSAGE CONTINUES, INDISTINCT) 13 00:01:09,367 --> 00:01:11,267 It's fine. It is fine, that one. 14 00:01:11,334 --> 00:01:13,167 That's okay. It doesn't matter. 15 00:01:13,234 --> 00:01:15,067 Take that there... 16 00:01:15,133 --> 00:01:17,601 That's the old office. So... 17 00:01:17,667 --> 00:01:20,067 Let's get you started. Ohh. 18 00:01:22,567 --> 00:01:25,434 No one is going to lose their jobs. 19 00:01:25,500 --> 00:01:28,133 Yes, Head Office are talking of downsizing, 20 00:01:28,200 --> 00:01:30,133 but they've said clearly 21 00:01:30,200 --> 00:01:33,701 that the most efficient branch will incorporate the other one. 22 00:01:33,767 --> 00:01:35,500 We are the most efficient branch. 23 00:01:35,567 --> 00:01:38,767 Cogito, ergo sum, we'll be fine. 24 00:01:38,834 --> 00:01:41,500 DAVID: Why should they be worried, yeah? 25 00:01:41,567 --> 00:01:43,634 They trust me implicitly. 26 00:01:43,701 --> 00:01:46,200 I've said there's not going to be any redundancies, so that becomes gospel. 27 00:01:46,267 --> 00:01:49,200 Unconditional trust. It's nice. 28 00:01:49,267 --> 00:01:50,934 Mutual. Likewise. Reciprocated. 29 00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:54,701 My only worry is that the powers that be don't come down here 30 00:01:54,767 --> 00:01:57,901 and pop their head round the door with their rule book 31 00:01:57,968 --> 00:02:00,767 and go, "Oh, hold on, what's going on here? 32 00:02:00,834 --> 00:02:02,801 "These people are mucking around." Right? 33 00:02:02,868 --> 00:02:05,968 "Whilst getting the job done, they're having a laugh at work 34 00:02:06,033 --> 00:02:08,534 "with the Sword of Damocles hanging over them." Right? 35 00:02:08,601 --> 00:02:10,934 "This isn't in the rule book. Who's in charge here?" 36 00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:13,133 Guilty! Get a new rule book! 37 00:02:13,200 --> 00:02:14,868 All right? 38 00:02:14,934 --> 00:02:16,167 It works with the turtle. 39 00:02:16,234 --> 00:02:17,868 (ALL LAUGH) 40 00:02:17,934 --> 00:02:20,000 Okay. Good. Um... 41 00:02:20,067 --> 00:02:22,467 Finally, this young lady is Donna. 42 00:02:22,534 --> 00:02:24,300 DONNA: Hello. ALL: Hello. 43 00:02:24,367 --> 00:02:27,100 Daughter of my best friends Ron and Elaine. 44 00:02:27,167 --> 00:02:30,133 She's lodging with me, so she's my responsibility, 45 00:02:30,200 --> 00:02:33,567 and her dad's not only a copper but he's a bloody big bugger, isn't he? 46 00:02:33,634 --> 00:02:35,667 So, hands off. 47 00:02:35,734 --> 00:02:37,767 I've got something she could take down in evidence! 48 00:02:37,834 --> 00:02:39,267 Oh, don't worry about this lot. 49 00:02:39,334 --> 00:02:41,534 Do you want to receive some swollen goods? 50 00:02:41,601 --> 00:02:42,734 (ALL LAUGH) 51 00:02:42,801 --> 00:02:44,601 Wouldn't mind escaping up her tunnel! 52 00:02:44,667 --> 00:02:45,901 Get out. 53 00:02:48,300 --> 00:02:49,934 Get out. I mean it. 54 00:02:54,467 --> 00:02:55,467 (SIGHS) 55 00:02:58,901 --> 00:02:59,968 It's a shame. 56 00:03:08,500 --> 00:03:10,567 I will not have her tunnel 57 00:03:10,634 --> 00:03:14,100 bandied around this office willy-nilly. 58 00:03:18,801 --> 00:03:19,767 Right. 59 00:03:23,500 --> 00:03:24,968 Okay. Help her to settle in. 60 00:03:25,033 --> 00:03:27,234 If you do have any trouble from the men... 61 00:03:27,300 --> 00:03:30,200 -What does she do, Dawn? -Kick them in the balls. 62 00:03:30,267 --> 00:03:32,667 -Oh! Feminist. -Get your bra off. 63 00:03:32,734 --> 00:03:33,868 Do you want to go out as well? 64 00:03:33,934 --> 00:03:35,901 Sorry. Burn your bra but... Feminists. 65 00:03:35,968 --> 00:03:37,834 -Good point. -Yeah. Right. 66 00:03:37,901 --> 00:03:39,868 Obviously keep a T-shirt on, like Charlie Dimmock. 67 00:03:39,934 --> 00:03:41,167 -Okay. -Women's libbers. 68 00:03:41,234 --> 00:03:42,534 That's it. 69 00:04:05,467 --> 00:04:07,601 (TAPPING) 70 00:04:13,934 --> 00:04:17,701 What are you doing? What are you doing? That's ridiculous. 71 00:04:17,767 --> 00:04:18,767 (PHONE RINGING) 72 00:04:19,667 --> 00:04:21,200 Hello. Wernham Hogg. 73 00:04:22,901 --> 00:04:24,801 Yeah, hang on a minute. I'll just put you through. 74 00:04:24,868 --> 00:04:27,467 That is... You won't need to use that. 75 00:04:28,767 --> 00:04:31,500 You've met this lot. Um, this is Gareth, 76 00:04:31,567 --> 00:04:33,834 who you saw in the meeting. 77 00:04:33,901 --> 00:04:36,200 Formal introductions. 78 00:04:36,267 --> 00:04:37,934 Hi. Gareth. Welcome. 79 00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:39,701 Just a handshake is fine. 80 00:04:39,767 --> 00:04:43,033 -And Ricky. -Hi. Nice to meet you. 81 00:04:43,100 --> 00:04:44,334 Even longer. 82 00:04:44,400 --> 00:04:45,868 And Tim. 83 00:04:45,934 --> 00:04:47,901 -Hello. -Good. 84 00:04:47,968 --> 00:04:51,734 Okay. Settle her in. Get her started. Show her the phones and everything. 85 00:04:51,801 --> 00:04:54,234 But first, methink the lady dost need a chair. 86 00:04:54,300 --> 00:04:56,968 To sit down on. 87 00:04:57,033 --> 00:04:58,701 Maybe she should sit down here 88 00:04:58,767 --> 00:05:01,100 then I could teach her the ropes, 89 00:05:01,167 --> 00:05:04,234 seeing that's my responsibility as team leader. 90 00:05:04,300 --> 00:05:07,634 David? I'm just saying, maybe... 91 00:05:07,701 --> 00:05:10,000 When people say, 92 00:05:10,067 --> 00:05:13,901 "Oh, would you rather be thought of as a funny man or a great boss?" 93 00:05:13,968 --> 00:05:16,968 My answer's always the same. To me, they're not mutually exclusive. 94 00:05:17,033 --> 00:05:21,200 There's a weight of intellect behind my comedy. Yeah? 95 00:05:21,267 --> 00:05:23,667 If you were to ask me to name three geniuses, 96 00:05:23,734 --> 00:05:28,334 I probably wouldn't say, um, Einstein, Newton... 97 00:05:28,400 --> 00:05:31,667 You know. I'd go Milligan, Cleese, Everett. 98 00:05:32,634 --> 00:05:33,868 Sessions. 99 00:05:38,667 --> 00:05:40,100 (TIM LAUGHS) 100 00:05:40,167 --> 00:05:41,734 Gareth, have you got a licence to carry that? 101 00:05:41,801 --> 00:05:42,834 (CHUCKLES SARCASTICALLY) 102 00:05:42,901 --> 00:05:45,434 Portable phone. All right? 103 00:05:45,500 --> 00:05:47,834 Can you swap places with Donna, please? 104 00:05:47,901 --> 00:05:50,434 No... I'm not moving. 105 00:05:50,500 --> 00:05:52,100 Do as you're told. 106 00:05:52,167 --> 00:05:55,167 Why, what are you going to do, phone me? 107 00:05:55,234 --> 00:05:57,968 -I am team leader. -I don't give a monkey's. 108 00:05:58,033 --> 00:05:59,567 You're so immature. 109 00:05:59,634 --> 00:06:03,901 Gareth, if there's one thing that I am not, it is immature. 110 00:06:04,100 --> 00:06:06,601 You're an immature little tosser. 111 00:06:07,734 --> 00:06:10,968 (MOBILE RINGS) 112 00:06:11,033 --> 00:06:13,434 -Gareth Keenan. -Cock. 113 00:06:14,868 --> 00:06:18,000 -So... -David, I was just saying to Tim... 114 00:06:19,133 --> 00:06:21,167 Looks like a... Doesn't it? 115 00:06:21,234 --> 00:06:23,467 -Gun holster. -It's just my portable telephone. 116 00:06:23,534 --> 00:06:25,234 I was just saying to Tim maybe... 117 00:06:25,300 --> 00:06:27,234 Sorry, I just thought of something. 118 00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:30,567 (IMITATING CLINT EASTWOOD) I know what you're thinking, 119 00:06:30,634 --> 00:06:32,734 did I make five or six calls? 120 00:06:37,767 --> 00:06:41,300 The question is, do you feel lucky, punk? Well, do ya? 121 00:06:41,367 --> 00:06:43,701 -Clint Eastwood. -Spot on. 122 00:06:45,868 --> 00:06:48,267 Let's let them get on with it. Okay. 123 00:06:50,334 --> 00:06:54,434 We're all online here. Hooked up 124 00:06:54,500 --> 00:06:56,701 to the world wide web. Internet. 125 00:06:56,767 --> 00:06:58,701 No shopping. All right? 126 00:06:58,767 --> 00:07:03,300 Um, everyone's got email. Have you used email before? 127 00:07:03,367 --> 00:07:06,200 -Yeah. -Yeah. It's easy, isn't it? 128 00:07:06,267 --> 00:07:08,000 -I'll just show her on here. -Yeah. 129 00:07:08,067 --> 00:07:10,567 Oh, you got a new one. See where it says "New mail"? 130 00:07:10,634 --> 00:07:13,234 Just go to that. Just click on that. 131 00:07:13,300 --> 00:07:15,367 (GASPS) No. 132 00:07:15,434 --> 00:07:19,200 No, it's not... Yeah. It's not funny because 133 00:07:19,267 --> 00:07:21,534 Donna should not have to see me 134 00:07:21,601 --> 00:07:23,934 as a woman with two men doing that all over me. 135 00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:26,067 You've got nice boobs. 136 00:07:26,133 --> 00:07:28,767 No. It's just not, it's just my head. They've put it on there to... 137 00:07:29,901 --> 00:07:31,868 Who else has seen this filth? 138 00:07:31,934 --> 00:07:35,701 You know what I'm talking about. Who else has seen this filth? 139 00:07:40,467 --> 00:07:42,100 You haven't even got email, Joan. 140 00:07:42,167 --> 00:07:44,367 Someone printed it out for me. 141 00:07:45,500 --> 00:07:47,067 Who printed this out for Joan? 142 00:07:50,567 --> 00:07:53,167 Wow. I'm angry. 143 00:07:53,234 --> 00:07:56,000 And not because I'm in it, 144 00:07:56,067 --> 00:07:59,500 but because it degrades women, 145 00:07:59,567 --> 00:08:01,868 which I hate. 146 00:08:01,934 --> 00:08:05,434 And the culprit, whoever he is, is in this room. 147 00:08:05,500 --> 00:08:07,200 Or she. It could be a woman. 148 00:08:07,267 --> 00:08:09,133 Women are as filthy as men. 149 00:08:09,200 --> 00:08:11,367 Naming no names. I don't know any. 150 00:08:11,434 --> 00:08:14,701 But women are dirty. 151 00:08:18,634 --> 00:08:22,000 Good friend of mine and a bloody good rep, Chris Finch, 152 00:08:22,067 --> 00:08:25,500 IQ of 142, one of the cleverest blokes I know. 153 00:08:25,567 --> 00:08:26,667 Certainly the cleverest bloke you know, isn't he? 154 00:08:26,734 --> 00:08:28,234 Chris Finch, yeah. 155 00:08:28,300 --> 00:08:30,267 He was in an argument once and he went, 156 00:08:30,334 --> 00:08:32,734 "How can I hate women? My mum's one." 157 00:08:36,367 --> 00:08:37,968 Yeah? There's a lot of truth in that. 158 00:08:38,033 --> 00:08:42,300 And that's why when I see rubbish, all right? 159 00:08:42,367 --> 00:08:45,167 I'm not annoyed 'cause I'm in it or I'm a prude. 160 00:08:45,234 --> 00:08:48,567 -It offends women. -And our mums. 161 00:08:48,634 --> 00:08:52,601 In a way. It's sexist, and I hate that. 162 00:08:52,667 --> 00:08:54,801 -So do I. -Yeah, but I've said it, haven't I? 163 00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:56,667 We've both said it. We've had meetings where we've both said it. 164 00:08:56,734 --> 00:08:59,767 -Yeah, but I really hate it. -I've always... 165 00:09:00,868 --> 00:09:03,000 The point is this, yeah? 166 00:09:03,067 --> 00:09:06,234 We've got access to the internet, yeah? But it is not censored. 167 00:09:06,300 --> 00:09:07,534 Is that a good or a bad thing? 168 00:09:07,601 --> 00:09:10,133 -Bad. -Well, it's not for us to say. 169 00:09:10,200 --> 00:09:12,734 All I know is I can type in 170 00:09:12,801 --> 00:09:16,968 "sex...fetish". Yeah? 171 00:09:17,033 --> 00:09:19,300 It takes a little while. 172 00:09:19,367 --> 00:09:23,400 2,230 matches. Yeah? 173 00:09:23,467 --> 00:09:26,400 Just click on one at random. 174 00:09:26,467 --> 00:09:28,100 Oh... 175 00:09:28,167 --> 00:09:30,667 "Dutch girls must be punished for having big boobs." 176 00:09:30,734 --> 00:09:32,167 Now, you do not punish someone, 177 00:09:32,234 --> 00:09:34,634 Dutch or otherwise, for having big boobs. 178 00:09:34,701 --> 00:09:36,100 If anything, they should be rewarded. 179 00:09:36,167 --> 00:09:37,934 -They should be equal. -Women are equal. 180 00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:39,934 I've always said that, so... 181 00:09:42,567 --> 00:09:44,100 -Do you want to play with my hair? -Huh? 182 00:09:44,167 --> 00:09:45,701 -Do you want to play with my hair. -Play with your hair? 183 00:09:45,767 --> 00:09:46,767 All right, then. 184 00:09:49,667 --> 00:09:53,133 I've got kind of hot hands. Sorry. 185 00:09:53,200 --> 00:09:56,067 That's all right. Just don't touch my head. 186 00:09:57,968 --> 00:09:59,634 All it is... 187 00:10:01,567 --> 00:10:02,834 Well... 188 00:10:04,534 --> 00:10:05,834 Donna. 189 00:10:05,901 --> 00:10:08,100 Yeah? My responsibility. 190 00:10:08,167 --> 00:10:10,934 Away from home. I know boys will be boys. 191 00:10:12,267 --> 00:10:14,100 Word from the top is... 192 00:10:14,167 --> 00:10:15,701 -Hands off. -Yeah. 193 00:10:15,767 --> 00:10:17,834 -Out of bounds. -Yeah. 194 00:10:17,901 --> 00:10:20,868 -Look, but don't touch. -What do you mean by look? 195 00:10:20,934 --> 00:10:23,100 Talk to her, be friendly, 196 00:10:23,167 --> 00:10:26,367 -don't get any ideas. -Yeah. Good. 197 00:10:26,434 --> 00:10:27,701 Fine. 198 00:10:29,868 --> 00:10:31,234 What if she's up for it? 199 00:10:32,868 --> 00:10:34,467 You want to get some of this sorted out, mate. 200 00:10:34,534 --> 00:10:37,033 -What can we play now? -I don't know. 201 00:10:37,100 --> 00:10:39,901 Ask around. Find out who did the picture, yes, 202 00:10:39,968 --> 00:10:41,901 -discreetly. -Undercover. 203 00:10:41,968 --> 00:10:45,500 Well, don't go steaming in, accusing people. 204 00:10:45,567 --> 00:10:47,267 -Mmm-hmm. -Okay? 205 00:10:47,334 --> 00:10:50,133 No, I'm trained in this. When I was in the army. 206 00:10:50,200 --> 00:10:52,067 -Territorial. -Territorial Army. 207 00:10:52,133 --> 00:10:53,901 Yeah, whatever. Okay? 208 00:10:53,968 --> 00:10:57,567 Okay. I will need some stuff. 209 00:10:57,634 --> 00:10:58,968 Like what? 210 00:10:59,033 --> 00:11:00,767 An office. 211 00:11:00,834 --> 00:11:02,601 Well, use the meeting room for now. 212 00:11:02,667 --> 00:11:04,901 Right. I can say it's my office, can I? 213 00:11:04,968 --> 00:11:06,367 What? 214 00:11:06,434 --> 00:11:08,801 I can say to people, "Come into my office"? 215 00:11:08,868 --> 00:11:12,067 -Well, while you're doing this, yeah. -Right. 216 00:11:12,133 --> 00:11:15,434 -I'll make a sign. -You don't need to make a sign. 217 00:11:15,500 --> 00:11:17,133 And if I need the meeting room for a meeting, 218 00:11:17,200 --> 00:11:18,934 it's the meeting room again, so... 219 00:11:19,000 --> 00:11:21,367 -Right. I'll take the sign down. -Don't need to make a sign. 220 00:11:21,434 --> 00:11:24,534 -(MOBILE RINGS) -Don't make a sign. 221 00:11:24,601 --> 00:11:26,701 Gareth Keenan. 222 00:11:26,767 --> 00:11:28,701 -So... Who was that? -No one. 223 00:11:35,234 --> 00:11:38,601 No, I'm sorry, you've got the wrong number. Bye. 224 00:11:38,667 --> 00:11:40,133 That's that, okay? 225 00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:42,634 You go left, you go right, kick. 226 00:11:42,701 --> 00:11:44,434 It's ding ding da! 227 00:11:44,500 --> 00:11:46,601 Yeah, but I never said that was... 228 00:11:46,667 --> 00:11:49,334 No, that was straight from Thriller, though. 229 00:11:49,400 --> 00:11:53,300 He goes... 230 00:11:53,367 --> 00:11:55,133 -It's that. -Afternoon, Mr Jackson. 231 00:11:55,200 --> 00:11:58,300 I know you're an international superstar but have you sent that fax yet? 232 00:12:00,400 --> 00:12:02,534 Have you heard, um... Have you heard, uh... 233 00:12:02,601 --> 00:12:04,067 Michael Jackson's new song he's doing? 234 00:12:04,133 --> 00:12:07,434 He's teamed up with West Ham football team, apparently. 235 00:12:07,500 --> 00:12:10,067 Doing I'm Forever Blowing Bubbles! 236 00:12:12,868 --> 00:12:14,434 The chimp. 237 00:12:14,500 --> 00:12:18,434 She doesn't know about football. Tell her later. 238 00:12:18,500 --> 00:12:21,000 Have you heard George Michael's latest release? 239 00:12:21,067 --> 00:12:24,467 No. George Michael's latest song. It's his release... 240 00:12:24,534 --> 00:12:26,000 -Is it about blow jobs? -Yeah, the thing in the toilet, 241 00:12:26,067 --> 00:12:27,300 -it was a hand job. -Right 242 00:12:27,367 --> 00:12:28,934 DONNA: Is it Wank Me Off Before You Go Go? 243 00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:30,500 (ALL LAUGHING) 244 00:12:32,534 --> 00:12:34,167 Um... 245 00:12:35,400 --> 00:12:38,133 What's white and slides down toilet walls? 246 00:12:38,200 --> 00:12:40,100 -I don't know. -Michael Jackson's latest release. 247 00:12:40,167 --> 00:12:42,400 George Michael's. 248 00:12:43,634 --> 00:12:45,434 Good, innit? Oh. 249 00:12:45,500 --> 00:12:48,200 -Can you moonwalk? -Probably not any more. 250 00:12:48,267 --> 00:12:50,100 -Give it a go? -Yeah. I used to... 251 00:12:50,167 --> 00:12:51,167 You got to drop your heels back. 252 00:12:51,234 --> 00:12:52,801 Not on this. You can't do it on this. 253 00:12:52,868 --> 00:12:54,734 -Let me show you. -I used to do it, yeah. 254 00:12:54,801 --> 00:12:58,801 Oh, yeah, I know how to do it. We used to do all that stuff as well. 255 00:12:58,868 --> 00:13:02,834 All that sort of stuff, yeah. Just like take control of the body. 256 00:13:02,901 --> 00:13:04,467 -And it's all that now, isn't it? -Yeah, and it's all... 257 00:13:04,534 --> 00:13:06,667 -Busy? -Yeah, just, uh... 258 00:13:06,734 --> 00:13:07,934 keeping up the morale. 259 00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:10,000 -Can we have a chat? -Yeah. 260 00:13:13,033 --> 00:13:14,801 Ooh! 261 00:13:17,767 --> 00:13:19,901 Keith, Keith, Keith, Keith, Keith... 262 00:13:19,968 --> 00:13:21,934 Thanks for coming in. Um... 263 00:13:22,133 --> 00:13:25,834 Now, you know what this is about. Obviously you've seen the picture, 264 00:13:25,901 --> 00:13:27,901 -you know, of David on the computer... -I saw it, I saw it. 265 00:13:27,968 --> 00:13:30,267 Yeah. And we've all had a bit of a laugh about it, haven't we? 266 00:13:30,334 --> 00:13:32,534 -It was funny. -Yeah. 267 00:13:32,601 --> 00:13:35,868 There's a time when the joking has to stop, though. Um... 268 00:13:35,934 --> 00:13:38,067 Not only is it derogatory... 269 00:13:38,133 --> 00:13:41,500 GARETH: David has trusted me with this because 270 00:13:41,567 --> 00:13:43,734 not only have I got people skills, 271 00:13:43,801 --> 00:13:47,534 but I am trained in covert operations. 272 00:13:47,601 --> 00:13:51,500 You know the phrase "softly softly catchee monkey"? 273 00:13:51,567 --> 00:13:54,567 I could catch a monkey. If I was starving, I could. 274 00:13:54,634 --> 00:13:58,601 I'd make poison darts out of the poison off of deadly frogs. 275 00:13:58,667 --> 00:14:03,467 One milligram of that poison can kill a monkey, or a man. 276 00:14:03,534 --> 00:14:06,000 Prick yourself, you'll be dead within a day. 277 00:14:06,067 --> 00:14:07,267 Or longer. 278 00:14:07,334 --> 00:14:09,434 Different frogs, different times. 279 00:14:09,500 --> 00:14:12,334 Do you know who done the picture? 280 00:14:12,400 --> 00:14:13,634 Yeah. 281 00:14:13,701 --> 00:14:16,767 No. I mean, no. 282 00:14:16,834 --> 00:14:20,167 Right. Your first answer was "yeah". 283 00:14:20,234 --> 00:14:22,601 -Wasn't it? -I meant no. 284 00:14:22,667 --> 00:14:26,334 -Well, why did you get... -Uh... Don't know. 285 00:14:26,400 --> 00:14:28,033 Am I making you nervous? 286 00:14:28,100 --> 00:14:30,033 No. I mean, yeah. 287 00:14:31,300 --> 00:14:32,767 Hmm, that's interesting. 288 00:14:32,834 --> 00:14:35,133 I've just spent two days in Swindon with Neil 289 00:14:35,200 --> 00:14:37,033 and he's made some big changes. 290 00:14:37,100 --> 00:14:38,701 Now, when we spoke on Friday, 291 00:14:38,767 --> 00:14:41,167 you said you were going to instigate some changes of your own. 292 00:14:41,234 --> 00:14:44,167 I just wondered how that was going. 293 00:14:44,234 --> 00:14:46,400 -Great. -Good. What have you done? 294 00:14:48,167 --> 00:14:49,801 Changed many things, really. 295 00:14:49,868 --> 00:14:51,500 In a global sense, 296 00:14:51,567 --> 00:14:54,901 streamlining the whole ongoing enterprise of it. 297 00:14:54,968 --> 00:14:57,300 I'm sorry, David, that sounds like management-speak to me, 298 00:14:57,367 --> 00:15:00,167 -and I know you hate that. -Yeah, I do. So... 299 00:15:00,234 --> 00:15:01,767 Well, can you give me, let's say, 300 00:15:01,834 --> 00:15:04,200 five practical changes that you've actually made? 301 00:15:04,267 --> 00:15:06,801 -Five changes? -Mmm. 302 00:15:06,868 --> 00:15:09,734 I'll give you three, and then another two if you need them. 303 00:15:09,801 --> 00:15:10,868 Okay. 304 00:15:12,267 --> 00:15:15,968 Efficiency. Turnover. Profitability. 305 00:15:16,033 --> 00:15:18,334 I'm sorry, David, that still sounds like management-speak. 306 00:15:18,400 --> 00:15:21,701 -No, because... -You hate that. 307 00:15:21,767 --> 00:15:24,901 -Shall I tell you what Neil's done? -Can do. 308 00:15:24,968 --> 00:15:26,467 He's frozen any wage increases, 309 00:15:26,534 --> 00:15:28,367 he's put a stop on all overtime. 310 00:15:28,434 --> 00:15:31,767 And any purchases of £100 or more now go through him. 311 00:15:31,834 --> 00:15:35,367 Hundred? I was going to make it 90, but 100's all right. 312 00:15:35,434 --> 00:15:38,167 And he has started making redundancies, David. 313 00:15:38,234 --> 00:15:39,701 -That's only four. -Yeah. Whatever, David. 314 00:15:39,767 --> 00:15:41,734 Have you made any redundancies? 315 00:15:41,801 --> 00:15:44,734 I gave a speech only this morning to my staff, 316 00:15:44,801 --> 00:15:46,834 assuring them there would not be cutbacks in this branch 317 00:15:46,901 --> 00:15:48,767 and that there certainly wouldn't be redundancies, so... 318 00:15:48,834 --> 00:15:52,133 -Why on earth would you do that? -Why? Oh, don't know. 319 00:15:52,200 --> 00:15:55,334 A little word that I think is important in management called "morale". 320 00:15:55,400 --> 00:15:57,934 Well, surely it's going to be worse for morale in the long run 321 00:15:58,000 --> 00:16:00,901 when there are redundancies and you've told people there won't be? 322 00:16:05,434 --> 00:16:07,634 They won't remember. 323 00:16:09,067 --> 00:16:10,968 -With your arms... -This way? 324 00:16:11,033 --> 00:16:12,467 -Ah! -And then... 325 00:16:12,534 --> 00:16:15,133 -Ooh! Yeah, I know. Like a... -More of a... 326 00:16:15,200 --> 00:16:17,834 DONNA: Yeah. RICKY: That is nice. 327 00:16:17,901 --> 00:16:20,400 I'll be honest with you, David, there have got to be cutbacks. 328 00:16:20,467 --> 00:16:21,767 Now, if you can't manage that yourself, 329 00:16:21,834 --> 00:16:23,868 that's why I'm your boss, I can do that for you. 330 00:16:23,934 --> 00:16:26,334 You're not the boss here. And you don't have to do anything for me 331 00:16:26,400 --> 00:16:27,767 'cause I've already made cutbacks. 332 00:16:27,834 --> 00:16:29,734 -What, you've made cutbacks already? -Yeah. 333 00:16:29,801 --> 00:16:31,734 I didn't want to tell the staff, but to you... 334 00:16:31,801 --> 00:16:34,400 Cutbacks where? 335 00:16:34,467 --> 00:16:35,968 Staff. 336 00:16:36,033 --> 00:16:38,734 -So there have been redundancies? -Yeah. 337 00:16:38,801 --> 00:16:41,367 -Well, have you let anyone go? -Yeah. 338 00:16:41,434 --> 00:16:43,467 Who? 339 00:16:43,534 --> 00:16:45,200 Julie. 340 00:16:45,267 --> 00:16:47,300 Where does Julie work? 341 00:16:48,901 --> 00:16:50,868 Warehouse. 342 00:16:50,934 --> 00:16:53,067 What does she do? 343 00:16:53,133 --> 00:16:56,868 Just general warehouse in the warehouse. She was, uh... 344 00:16:56,934 --> 00:16:59,133 I'm sorry, David, I thought I knew everyone in the warehouse. 345 00:16:59,200 --> 00:17:00,801 What's her surname? 346 00:17:01,767 --> 00:17:03,734 Second name? 347 00:17:05,200 --> 00:17:07,000 Anderton. 348 00:17:07,067 --> 00:17:11,901 Um... It's signs that Gareth's made for the door of his office. 349 00:17:11,968 --> 00:17:15,634 He started off with "interrogation room". 350 00:17:15,701 --> 00:17:17,801 He went to "interrogation office", 351 00:17:17,868 --> 00:17:19,634 "investigation room", 352 00:17:19,701 --> 00:17:22,033 "investigation office", just for the... 353 00:17:22,100 --> 00:17:23,334 He really lost it here. 354 00:17:23,400 --> 00:17:26,868 "Quiet, please! Investigation in process!" 355 00:17:29,100 --> 00:17:32,868 "Silence. Interrogation." That's frightening. 356 00:17:32,934 --> 00:17:35,968 That's the one he's gone for. "Investigation and meeting room." 357 00:17:36,033 --> 00:17:40,133 Makes sense. My personal favourite, though, has to be... 358 00:17:40,200 --> 00:17:43,167 "Gareth Keenan investigates!" Why? 359 00:17:43,801 --> 00:17:45,334 So... 360 00:17:45,400 --> 00:17:47,434 There's a lot of um... 361 00:17:47,500 --> 00:17:49,500 -I'm trying to work in here. -Sorry, mate, yeah. 362 00:17:49,567 --> 00:17:52,467 -How is the investigation going? -Good. 363 00:17:52,534 --> 00:17:55,434 -Very good. -Do you need a deputy at all? 364 00:17:55,500 --> 00:17:58,467 No. I've already got one. 365 00:18:00,834 --> 00:18:02,701 -All right, Sheila? -All right? 366 00:18:03,634 --> 00:18:05,801 Keep it down. 367 00:18:14,300 --> 00:18:15,968 This is scary, David. 368 00:18:16,033 --> 00:18:19,000 Don't tie any more cash up in stock unless you have to. 369 00:18:19,067 --> 00:18:23,868 I'm sure you could lose more people from down here. Who's the foreman? 370 00:18:23,934 --> 00:18:25,767 Taffy! 371 00:18:25,834 --> 00:18:27,801 Taffy! (GIGGLES) 372 00:18:27,868 --> 00:18:29,734 -Glynn! -What? 373 00:18:30,767 --> 00:18:32,834 We all call him Taffy. 374 00:18:32,901 --> 00:18:36,167 The thing is, though, no one's dispensable in my book. Yeah? 375 00:18:36,234 --> 00:18:38,767 'Cause we're like one big organism, one big animal. 376 00:18:38,834 --> 00:18:42,100 Yeah? The guys upstairs on the phone, they're the mouth. 377 00:18:42,167 --> 00:18:44,267 And the guys down here, the hands. 378 00:18:44,334 --> 00:18:46,701 -Mmm. And what part are you? -Good question. 379 00:18:46,767 --> 00:18:48,567 Probably the humour. 380 00:18:55,868 --> 00:18:59,100 With responsibility comes harsh things. 381 00:18:59,167 --> 00:19:04,300 Um... People look at me, they say, "Oh, he's tough. He was in the army. 382 00:19:04,367 --> 00:19:07,901 "He's going to be hard. By the book." 383 00:19:07,968 --> 00:19:09,834 But... 384 00:19:09,901 --> 00:19:12,500 I am caring and sensitive. 385 00:19:13,801 --> 00:19:16,200 Isn't Schindler's List a brilliant film? 386 00:19:16,834 --> 00:19:19,500 Um, yeah. 387 00:19:19,567 --> 00:19:22,534 See? People think a strong man can't be sensitive 388 00:19:22,601 --> 00:19:25,100 but I'm thoughtful and caring... 389 00:19:25,167 --> 00:19:26,934 Sorry, what's this about? 390 00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:30,267 About the picture of David with the two blokes jizzing on him. 391 00:19:30,334 --> 00:19:32,200 Were they both jizzing on him? 392 00:19:32,267 --> 00:19:34,801 I thought he was sucking one of them off. 393 00:19:34,868 --> 00:19:37,000 I don't think... 394 00:19:38,267 --> 00:19:40,868 No, look, it's just jizzing. 395 00:19:40,934 --> 00:19:42,500 Well, I didn't do it. 396 00:19:42,567 --> 00:19:44,834 Good. Fine. 397 00:19:44,901 --> 00:19:47,467 Well, I'm glad we had this little chat. 398 00:19:47,534 --> 00:19:51,300 I don't want you to think of me as your boss. 399 00:19:51,367 --> 00:19:52,701 Well, you're not. 400 00:19:52,767 --> 00:19:55,500 Well, I'm higher up than you, so I am. 401 00:19:55,567 --> 00:19:59,300 What I'm saying is don't think of me as a boss, 402 00:19:59,367 --> 00:20:02,701 -but know that I am. -I don't think you are. 403 00:20:02,767 --> 00:20:05,567 Well, I'm team leader, so I am. I'm higher up than you. 404 00:20:05,634 --> 00:20:07,934 (MOBILE RINGS) 405 00:20:09,667 --> 00:20:11,334 Gareth Keenan. 406 00:20:11,400 --> 00:20:14,367 Right, seriously. Now, just stop it. 407 00:20:18,367 --> 00:20:21,000 Yes, I've had office romances. 408 00:20:21,067 --> 00:20:22,601 Loads. 409 00:20:22,667 --> 00:20:24,534 Not here, another place I worked at. 410 00:20:24,601 --> 00:20:26,534 Good-looking ones as well. 411 00:20:26,601 --> 00:20:30,234 But they're not a good idea, office romances. 412 00:20:30,300 --> 00:20:32,701 It's like shitting on your own doorstep. 413 00:20:32,767 --> 00:20:35,467 I've had loads of offers here, but I go, "No way." 414 00:20:35,534 --> 00:20:38,701 Distracting. And that's actually one of the major arguments 415 00:20:38,767 --> 00:20:40,868 against letting gay men into the army. 416 00:20:40,934 --> 00:20:42,834 And I haven't got a problem with that. 417 00:20:42,901 --> 00:20:45,601 You know, a gay man's not going to put me off. I can handle myself. 418 00:20:45,667 --> 00:20:48,033 But if we were in battle, 419 00:20:48,100 --> 00:20:50,767 is he going to be looking at the enemy or looking at me 420 00:20:50,834 --> 00:20:53,100 going, "Oooh"? 421 00:20:53,167 --> 00:20:57,500 You know? "He looks tasty in his uniform." 422 00:20:57,567 --> 00:20:59,000 And I'm not homophobic, all right? 423 00:20:59,067 --> 00:21:00,634 Come round, look at my CD collection. 424 00:21:00,701 --> 00:21:04,601 You'll find Queen, George Michael, Pet Shop Boys. 425 00:21:04,667 --> 00:21:06,434 They're all bummers. 426 00:21:09,300 --> 00:21:10,934 (DOG BARKS ON TV) 427 00:21:11,133 --> 00:21:14,267 All right, lads? What are you watching? 428 00:21:14,334 --> 00:21:17,334 -It's my dog shagging his dog. -Oh, yeah. 429 00:21:17,400 --> 00:21:20,701 Glynn, I'm sure David's made it clear to you that you'll be losing personnel. 430 00:21:20,767 --> 00:21:23,367 That's a funny bit. Look at Gazza's face! 431 00:21:24,200 --> 00:21:25,968 I'm sorry to interrupt, 432 00:21:26,033 --> 00:21:27,701 do you think you can lose any more staff from down here? 433 00:21:27,767 --> 00:21:29,901 -I know you lost Julie Anderton. -Who? 434 00:21:29,968 --> 00:21:32,534 -Opening a can of worms there. -Julie Anderton. David fired her? 435 00:21:32,601 --> 00:21:34,367 -Never heard of her. -Oh, loyalty. 436 00:21:34,434 --> 00:21:36,934 When someone goes from this organisation, they no longer exist. 437 00:21:37,000 --> 00:21:38,167 She never existed, did she? 438 00:21:38,234 --> 00:21:40,434 -Well... -You made her up. 439 00:21:40,500 --> 00:21:42,434 Well, you backed me into a corner and I... 440 00:21:42,500 --> 00:21:44,834 -You lied. -It's a form of acting. 441 00:21:44,901 --> 00:21:46,767 Can you take this upstairs? We're a bit busy. 442 00:21:46,834 --> 00:21:49,534 -You don't look busy. -Do you want me to get busy, love? 443 00:21:49,601 --> 00:21:51,000 I'm sorry? 444 00:21:51,067 --> 00:21:52,934 You can be next. Gazza likes some posh. 445 00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:55,133 -A word with you. Now. -Yep. 446 00:21:57,033 --> 00:21:58,234 That was out of order in a way. 447 00:21:58,300 --> 00:22:00,167 -Ooh! -No, I'm not in trouble. 448 00:22:00,234 --> 00:22:02,400 What she needs is a good shagging! 449 00:22:02,601 --> 00:22:05,667 I might bloody have to now. See you later. 450 00:22:07,167 --> 00:22:09,901 Now, then. You two. 451 00:22:10,100 --> 00:22:12,100 Dawn and Tim. 452 00:22:13,167 --> 00:22:15,400 What do you want, Gareth? 453 00:22:15,467 --> 00:22:18,834 I've been assigned to find out who did the picture. 454 00:22:18,901 --> 00:22:20,267 Right. Who was it? 455 00:22:20,334 --> 00:22:22,400 -Well, I don't know. -Will you get fired? 456 00:22:22,467 --> 00:22:23,934 -Will I get fired? -If you don't know who did it. 457 00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:26,667 Well, I'm finding out now. I'm doing investigations now. 458 00:22:26,734 --> 00:22:29,567 -Was it one of you two? -Yes. Christ, you're good. 459 00:22:29,634 --> 00:22:31,033 -Was it? -No! 460 00:22:31,100 --> 00:22:32,734 I knew it wasn't. 461 00:22:32,801 --> 00:22:35,000 Listen. I'm not going to fire you if you know anything 462 00:22:35,067 --> 00:22:36,500 -because... -You couldn't. 463 00:22:36,567 --> 00:22:37,968 -I could. -How would that work? 464 00:22:38,033 --> 00:22:40,467 I would say, "You're fired. Clear your desk and..." 465 00:22:40,534 --> 00:22:41,934 I would say, "You don't have the authority." But go on. 466 00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:43,367 Not true, not true. 467 00:22:43,434 --> 00:22:45,934 Because in this room, I have special... 468 00:22:46,000 --> 00:22:48,133 -Needs? -No. I am a special... 469 00:22:48,200 --> 00:22:51,167 -Needs child? -No, and that's not funny. All right? 470 00:22:51,234 --> 00:22:53,367 -I won't have you fired because... -You couldn't. 471 00:22:53,434 --> 00:22:54,667 -Right, that's all. -Thank you. 472 00:23:04,901 --> 00:23:07,067 I just can't believe their total lack of respect. 473 00:23:07,133 --> 00:23:10,467 Yeah, yeah. Not only did they undermine you in an authoritive sense... 474 00:23:10,534 --> 00:23:12,467 -(KNOCKING) -Come in, Gareth. 475 00:23:12,534 --> 00:23:14,701 ...but they left an image in my mind 476 00:23:14,767 --> 00:23:17,300 of you naked on all fours 477 00:23:17,367 --> 00:23:20,467 being quite literally done doggie-style. 478 00:23:20,534 --> 00:23:22,634 David! 479 00:23:24,033 --> 00:23:26,200 -Carry on. -What is it? 480 00:23:26,267 --> 00:23:27,901 I've found the guilty man. 481 00:23:27,968 --> 00:23:30,701 -Have you indeed, Mr Keenan? -Can this wait, David? 482 00:23:30,767 --> 00:23:32,934 Uh, yeah, 483 00:23:33,000 --> 00:23:35,734 but if I tell you there's pornography, sexist pornography, which I hate, 484 00:23:35,801 --> 00:23:37,834 going round the office, then do you want it to wait? 485 00:23:37,901 --> 00:23:39,500 Pornography? 486 00:23:39,567 --> 00:23:43,200 -Who was it? -Surprise, surprise. It was Tim. 487 00:23:43,267 --> 00:23:45,367 Shame. Good man. How can you be sure? 488 00:23:45,434 --> 00:23:48,767 I found these pictures on his hard drive downloaded from the internet. 489 00:23:48,834 --> 00:23:50,133 After investigation, 490 00:23:50,200 --> 00:23:53,767 licensed by, carried out by... 491 00:23:54,534 --> 00:23:56,767 Oh, no. 492 00:23:56,834 --> 00:24:00,434 Urgh. I don't want you to see this. I don't want to see this. Urgh. 493 00:24:00,500 --> 00:24:03,033 That's worse than the one before. 494 00:24:03,100 --> 00:24:06,400 Oh, I hope there aren't any more. There are more. 495 00:24:06,467 --> 00:24:08,934 Well, he will have to be disciplined 496 00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:11,901 because when the disciplining has to be done, 497 00:24:11,968 --> 00:24:15,167 then the laughter stops for that amount of time, then continues, 498 00:24:15,234 --> 00:24:17,801 rehabilitation notwithstanding. 499 00:24:17,868 --> 00:24:20,100 It's everywhere. Oh. 500 00:24:20,167 --> 00:24:21,934 How did you find out? 501 00:24:22,000 --> 00:24:24,200 Well, I suspected the pictures probably came off the internet, 502 00:24:24,267 --> 00:24:25,901 so I checked everyone's computer. 503 00:24:26,100 --> 00:24:29,033 'Cause there is a log of every web page you've visited. 504 00:24:29,100 --> 00:24:31,767 You just go to Internet Page and then Net History. 505 00:24:31,834 --> 00:24:35,133 -Well, it's not worth it... -It only takes a second. 506 00:24:35,200 --> 00:24:37,701 I don't want to even know how it's done, in a way. 507 00:24:37,767 --> 00:24:41,667 Can you delete the history thing on the computer? We should, really. 508 00:24:41,734 --> 00:24:44,467 -David, this is a meeting. -Yeah, yeah. 509 00:24:44,534 --> 00:24:47,334 Okay. That's all. Anything else? 510 00:24:47,400 --> 00:24:49,167 Um, oh, Taffy phoned from the warehouse. 511 00:24:49,234 --> 00:24:50,934 -He's got another funny video for you. -Thanks. 512 00:24:51,000 --> 00:24:53,300 -This is just one big boys' club! -Not really. 513 00:24:53,367 --> 00:24:56,000 Seedy little men with seedy little jokes. 514 00:24:56,067 --> 00:24:57,801 This morning, perfect example! 515 00:24:57,868 --> 00:24:59,901 I do not want to be put in that position again. 516 00:24:59,968 --> 00:25:02,033 Don't go down the warehouse. 517 00:25:02,100 --> 00:25:04,500 David, don't tell me where I can and can't go in my own company. 518 00:25:04,567 --> 00:25:05,868 -Advice... -You're on very thin ice as it is. 519 00:25:05,934 --> 00:25:09,133 You've already lied to me today. What's that? 520 00:25:09,200 --> 00:25:12,000 You lied to me because you don't have the guts to do your own job. 521 00:25:12,067 --> 00:25:13,601 I don't have the guts? 522 00:25:13,667 --> 00:25:17,767 If you're not man enough to do your job, I will do it for you. 523 00:25:17,834 --> 00:25:19,400 Not man enough? 524 00:25:20,534 --> 00:25:22,534 Okay. 525 00:25:22,601 --> 00:25:24,167 Come here. 526 00:25:32,267 --> 00:25:34,567 Busy at work? 527 00:25:34,634 --> 00:25:37,601 -Is there a problem? -Yeah. That. 528 00:25:37,667 --> 00:25:39,968 -I'm sorry. What's that? -(CHUCKLES) "What's that?" 529 00:25:40,033 --> 00:25:44,500 I don't know. A dirty picture with my head on it, as a sex object. 530 00:25:44,567 --> 00:25:48,868 And don't... You know I like a laugh, Tim. I'm just... 531 00:25:48,934 --> 00:25:52,367 Porno laughs are not funny, okay? 532 00:25:52,434 --> 00:25:55,000 -I'm disappointed. -You think I did this? 533 00:25:55,067 --> 00:25:57,000 Case closed. 534 00:25:57,067 --> 00:25:59,534 Hey, shouldn't I say that? As it was my investigation. 535 00:25:59,601 --> 00:26:02,934 What annoys me is you obviously didn't do it in your own time... 536 00:26:03,000 --> 00:26:05,934 Whoa, whoa. Colombo here figured it out, did he? 537 00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:10,567 Well, yeah, of... I must be guilty if you've got your best man on the case! 538 00:26:10,634 --> 00:26:13,234 Stop trying to be funny for one second, Tim, okay? 539 00:26:13,300 --> 00:26:16,067 And listen, okay? And stop taking advantage of my good nature 540 00:26:16,133 --> 00:26:19,234 'cause I could be like every other boss in this situation. 541 00:26:19,300 --> 00:26:20,667 Okay? Right? 542 00:26:20,734 --> 00:26:24,067 You're taking the piss and I'm getting sick of it. 543 00:26:24,133 --> 00:26:27,567 David, it wasn't me, okay? It was your good friend Chris Finch. 544 00:26:29,801 --> 00:26:31,300 He used my computer. 545 00:26:31,367 --> 00:26:34,000 He said he was your best mate and you'd find it hilarious. 546 00:26:34,067 --> 00:26:36,200 Oh... 547 00:26:36,267 --> 00:26:39,400 No, it is. That was never in question. 548 00:26:39,467 --> 00:26:43,033 I think it's bloody hilarious. You're missing the... 549 00:26:43,100 --> 00:26:45,868 Are you going to apologise to Tim? 550 00:26:45,934 --> 00:26:49,601 I'll tell you about families. You don't have to, in a way. 551 00:26:49,667 --> 00:26:51,033 So... 552 00:26:51,100 --> 00:26:53,334 Are you going to apologise to Tim? 553 00:26:53,400 --> 00:26:55,167 I have, in a way... 554 00:26:55,234 --> 00:26:58,400 -Are you going to apologise now? -Yes! 555 00:27:04,868 --> 00:27:08,601 S... sorry about that. 556 00:27:08,667 --> 00:27:10,801 You weren't involved... You covered for it so well, as well. 557 00:27:10,868 --> 00:27:12,734 You were involved, but you covered, that's what I like. 558 00:27:12,801 --> 00:27:14,534 Well, I really wouldn't want to be here when you bawl out Finchy. 559 00:27:14,601 --> 00:27:16,634 You won't be. It's not fair. Nor will you. 560 00:27:16,701 --> 00:27:19,601 So it's not offensive now it's Chris Finch? 561 00:27:19,667 --> 00:27:23,701 Let's not dwell on whether it is or isn't this or... 562 00:27:23,767 --> 00:27:26,434 Let's stop degrading women, shall we? Please. 563 00:27:26,500 --> 00:27:29,067 Let's have a laugh with them, not at them. 564 00:27:29,133 --> 00:27:31,734 Let's have a laugh at work, 565 00:27:31,801 --> 00:27:34,133 with women, at us. 566 00:27:34,200 --> 00:27:37,500 So I trust you'll be telling Chris Finch he won't be working with us any more? 567 00:27:37,567 --> 00:27:39,167 Yeah, that's a good idea. I'll get rid of a good rep 568 00:27:39,234 --> 00:27:40,968 'cause he played a joke. Brilliant. 569 00:27:41,033 --> 00:27:43,434 -David, don't even start. -No, no, fine. 570 00:27:43,500 --> 00:27:45,868 That's come from the top. 571 00:27:48,801 --> 00:27:52,100 Yeah. Hi, Chris. It's David here. Yeah. Bad news, mate. 572 00:27:52,167 --> 00:27:55,133 We're going to have to let you go. We can't use you any more. No. Yep. 573 00:27:55,200 --> 00:27:56,868 'Cause of the joke. 574 00:27:56,934 --> 00:27:59,934 No, I've got a sense of humour, but that was offensive towards women, 575 00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:02,868 and I can't tolerate that. I'll have to pass on... 576 00:28:02,934 --> 00:28:07,601 ...the time sponsored by Accurist will be 4:21 577 00:28:07,667 --> 00:28:09,834 and 40 seconds. 578 00:28:09,901 --> 00:28:11,667 -Pathetic. -Is it? 579 00:28:11,734 --> 00:28:14,500 At the third stroke, the time sponsored by Accurist 580 00:28:14,567 --> 00:28:18,601 will be 4:21 and 50 seconds. 581 00:28:30,367 --> 00:28:31,667 Sorry, has anyone got the right time? 582 00:28:38,567 --> 00:28:42,334 583 00:28:44,434 --> 00:28:48,901 584 00:28:49,100 --> 00:28:51,534 585 00:28:51,601 --> 00:28:53,968 586 00:28:54,033 --> 00:28:55,868 587 00:28:59,300 --> 00:29:01,267 Mmm-hmm. Mmm-hmm.