1 00:00:13,317 --> 00:00:15,405 Cryotherapy is great for circulation. 2 00:00:15,406 --> 00:00:17,277 It keeps me in peak form, 3 00:00:17,278 --> 00:00:20,236 which matters just a bit when your job is saving lives. 4 00:00:20,237 --> 00:00:23,022 The closest cryopod's in Portland, so I make do here. 5 00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:26,068 It's ironic, really, extending my own life in a space 6 00:00:26,069 --> 00:00:27,722 reserved for the dead. 7 00:00:27,723 --> 00:00:30,333 The only trick is ignoring the smell, yeah. 8 00:00:30,334 --> 00:00:32,074 Hey, Ralph, you want to give it a go, buddy? 9 00:00:32,075 --> 00:00:34,207 Helps burn cals. 10 00:00:34,208 --> 00:00:36,426 Well, it's a pass from Ralph. Fair enough. 11 00:00:36,427 --> 00:00:39,995 Uh, all right, well, once more unto the breach, huh? 12 00:00:39,996 --> 00:00:41,257 Whoo! 13 00:00:55,838 --> 00:00:58,492 He's been unconscious since he came in. 14 00:00:58,493 --> 00:01:02,539 We are giving him morphine, uh, but there is a DNR in place. 15 00:01:02,540 --> 00:01:05,542 So we will let nature take its course today. 16 00:01:05,543 --> 00:01:07,022 I'm so sorry. 17 00:01:07,023 --> 00:01:09,416 You know, delivering this kind of news is never easy. 18 00:01:09,417 --> 00:01:11,809 We have to remember that this is a sacred moment 19 00:01:11,810 --> 00:01:13,246 for these families. 20 00:01:13,247 --> 00:01:15,161 Sometimes it brings out the best in them. 21 00:01:15,162 --> 00:01:17,946 And then other times-- 22 00:01:17,947 --> 00:01:20,427 - Well, I want an autopsy. - Oh, Jesus, Martin. 23 00:01:20,428 --> 00:01:21,645 He's 96. 24 00:01:21,646 --> 00:01:23,082 His home nurse was way too comfortable. 25 00:01:23,083 --> 00:01:24,518 She's ready to move in. 26 00:01:24,519 --> 00:01:26,302 Of course you don't trust the woman that I hired. 27 00:01:26,303 --> 00:01:27,912 - She did something to him. - Maybe you guys could-- 28 00:01:27,913 --> 00:01:30,567 Do we have to do a morgue? My dad hates tight spaces. 29 00:01:30,568 --> 00:01:32,352 He wouldn't even sit in our tree house when we were kids. 30 00:01:32,353 --> 00:01:34,528 There we go, bringing up the tree house again. 31 00:01:34,529 --> 00:01:35,920 How many minutes did that take? 32 00:01:35,921 --> 00:01:37,705 I'm going to give you guys some privacy. 33 00:01:37,706 --> 00:01:38,923 I could also go. 34 00:01:38,924 --> 00:01:40,403 I have been waiting-- 35 00:01:40,404 --> 00:01:42,884 waiting for you to bring up the tree house. 36 00:01:42,885 --> 00:01:44,973 This is why you've got to have a plan. 37 00:01:44,974 --> 00:01:46,757 They don't have a plan, and now they're arguing 38 00:01:46,758 --> 00:01:48,585 about where to put the poor guy. 39 00:01:48,586 --> 00:01:50,065 Well, no one's going to be fussing and fighting 40 00:01:50,066 --> 00:01:52,937 over this old-lady corpse because I review and update 41 00:01:52,938 --> 00:01:55,418 my end-of-life plans monthly. 42 00:01:55,419 --> 00:01:58,508 I'm ready to die at a moment's notice. 43 00:01:58,509 --> 00:02:01,511 I just want to be cremated and then have my ashes 44 00:02:01,512 --> 00:02:03,774 mixed with glitter and blown out of an air cannon 45 00:02:03,775 --> 00:02:04,993 at a club in Vegas. 46 00:02:04,994 --> 00:02:06,429 On Strip, not off. 47 00:02:06,430 --> 00:02:07,952 I'm staying local. 48 00:02:07,953 --> 00:02:10,477 I already got burial plots for me and Tim and the kids. 49 00:02:10,478 --> 00:02:12,174 I got four for the price of three 50 00:02:12,175 --> 00:02:13,654 'cause Costco had, like, a thing, so... 51 00:02:13,655 --> 00:02:15,003 Yeah, but what if your kids are married and have 52 00:02:15,004 --> 00:02:16,439 a family of their own? 53 00:02:16,440 --> 00:02:17,832 Maybe they want to be buried with them. 54 00:02:17,833 --> 00:02:19,138 Tough. I made 'em. 55 00:02:19,139 --> 00:02:20,487 I'm keeping 'em. 56 00:02:20,488 --> 00:02:22,271 Well, I suppose you're all wondering 57 00:02:22,272 --> 00:02:23,621 what my death plan is. 58 00:02:25,493 --> 00:02:27,624 And the answer is, I don't need one, 59 00:02:27,625 --> 00:02:29,931 mm-mm, not for another 80 or so years. 60 00:02:29,932 --> 00:02:32,977 In fact, I might even skip the whole dying thing altogether. 61 00:02:32,978 --> 00:02:34,196 What? 62 00:02:34,197 --> 00:02:37,547 Living forever is impossible currently. 63 00:02:37,548 --> 00:02:40,202 But, man, are we close to cracking that nut, 64 00:02:40,203 --> 00:02:41,986 and I'm going to be around when we do. 65 00:02:41,987 --> 00:02:46,208 Although my chronological age is 38, my bio age is 21. 66 00:02:46,209 --> 00:02:48,558 Now, that's the result of a dedicated wellness routine. 67 00:02:48,559 --> 00:02:52,214 53 supplements a day, daily meditation rituals, 68 00:02:52,215 --> 00:02:54,303 and constant genetic screening. 69 00:02:54,304 --> 00:02:56,087 Is it a lot of work? Sure. 70 00:02:56,088 --> 00:03:00,397 But the reward is a little something called infinity. 71 00:03:02,007 --> 00:03:04,008 There's an emergency in my father's room. 72 00:03:04,009 --> 00:03:05,140 OK, I'm coming. 73 00:03:05,141 --> 00:03:07,011 My sister keeps playing chimes. 74 00:03:07,012 --> 00:03:08,535 And I'm stopping. 75 00:03:08,536 --> 00:03:10,885 He hated wind chimes, and these are his final moments. 76 00:03:10,886 --> 00:03:13,322 It's better than the Fox News you keep putting on. 77 00:03:13,323 --> 00:03:15,803 Dad would want to be informed! 78 00:03:15,804 --> 00:03:17,500 Man, that guy really hates chimes. 79 00:03:17,501 --> 00:03:19,720 Listen, I can't with that family today. 80 00:03:19,721 --> 00:03:21,765 You're going to stay with them and watch for time of death. 81 00:03:21,766 --> 00:03:24,855 Oh, uh, it's just I've never actually seen 82 00:03:24,856 --> 00:03:26,248 someone die before. 83 00:03:26,249 --> 00:03:27,684 Well, let me fill you in on how it works. 84 00:03:27,685 --> 00:03:29,382 When they're dead, look at the clock. 85 00:03:29,383 --> 00:03:31,471 No, I just mean that moment. 86 00:03:31,472 --> 00:03:33,560 You know, seeing the lights go out, 87 00:03:33,561 --> 00:03:35,605 realizing a human soul has left God's Earth. 88 00:03:35,606 --> 00:03:38,042 Serena can you watch for time of death in 103? 89 00:03:38,043 --> 00:03:39,696 Sure. 90 00:03:39,697 --> 00:03:42,395 But it would be a good learning experience. 91 00:03:42,396 --> 00:03:44,484 You know, get a big D under my belt. 92 00:03:44,485 --> 00:03:46,790 I'm going to follow her. 93 00:03:46,791 --> 00:03:47,922 Serena! 94 00:03:47,923 --> 00:03:49,271 Interesting turn of events. 95 00:03:49,272 --> 00:03:51,230 Looks like it'll just be me and Serena 96 00:03:51,231 --> 00:03:53,449 and the guy's kids and the guy-- 97 00:03:53,450 --> 00:03:55,495 for a while, at least. 98 00:03:55,496 --> 00:03:56,931 You know, all that talk this morning 99 00:03:56,932 --> 00:03:59,020 got me to thinking about my own end-of-life plans. 100 00:03:59,021 --> 00:04:02,197 You know, I recently had to dump my executor, 101 00:04:02,198 --> 00:04:04,460 and I would love it if you took over. 102 00:04:04,461 --> 00:04:06,723 Wow, Joyce, I'm--I'm really flattered. 103 00:04:06,724 --> 00:04:07,898 Well, good. 104 00:04:07,899 --> 00:04:09,639 All the details are figured out already. 105 00:04:09,640 --> 00:04:11,728 Oh, that's very thorough. 106 00:04:11,729 --> 00:04:14,296 Yeah, everything from the font on my headstone-- 107 00:04:14,297 --> 00:04:16,516 Garamond--to the catering at my wake-- 108 00:04:16,517 --> 00:04:19,736 Tex-Mex, tapas--it's all here and ready to rock. 109 00:04:19,737 --> 00:04:22,609 You know, my boyfriend, Sanderson, was my executor, 110 00:04:22,610 --> 00:04:24,219 but then we got in a fight, and I had to get rid of him. 111 00:04:24,220 --> 00:04:28,354 OK. Well, um, you know what? Yeah, I'd be happy to do it. 112 00:04:28,355 --> 00:04:30,573 - Yes. Slay, mama. - Oh! 113 00:04:30,574 --> 00:04:32,532 I'm going to go update these pages. 114 00:04:32,533 --> 00:04:35,926 Oh, you gentle fool of a woman. 115 00:04:35,927 --> 00:04:37,319 What? 116 00:04:37,320 --> 00:04:39,756 I was the executor of my grandmother's estate. 117 00:04:39,757 --> 00:04:41,932 It was a huge headache, and she was nowhere near 118 00:04:41,933 --> 00:04:44,500 as crazy as Joyce. - Oh, come on, she's not crazy. 119 00:04:44,501 --> 00:04:45,936 She's just quirky. 120 00:04:45,937 --> 00:04:47,590 Besides, who cares? 121 00:04:47,591 --> 00:04:49,462 It's going to be a tiny bit of work, like, decades from now. 122 00:04:49,463 --> 00:04:51,420 Well, I've known Joyce for a long time. 123 00:04:51,421 --> 00:04:54,597 Nothing is tiny. Everything is big. 124 00:04:54,598 --> 00:04:56,469 When she was a first-year resident here, 125 00:04:56,470 --> 00:04:59,646 she used to wear these insane magenta scrubs 126 00:04:59,647 --> 00:05:02,039 with two pairs of shoulder pads on underneath, 127 00:05:02,040 --> 00:05:04,085 you know, to project power. 128 00:05:04,086 --> 00:05:08,132 Even then, I told myself, that woman is a lot. 129 00:05:08,133 --> 00:05:09,308 Alex? 130 00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:10,657 Hey, keep your lunch free. 131 00:05:10,658 --> 00:05:13,007 Um, I've got a notary coming this afternoon. 132 00:05:13,008 --> 00:05:14,313 If we don't finish at lunch, 133 00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:16,271 we'll just pick it up again after your shift. 134 00:05:16,272 --> 00:05:17,838 Excited! 135 00:05:19,884 --> 00:05:21,799 Excited. 136 00:05:23,453 --> 00:05:25,802 - You're taking his ring off? - Yes, Martin. 137 00:05:25,803 --> 00:05:27,630 His hands are swollen. - OK, I can hold it. 138 00:05:27,631 --> 00:05:28,805 Give it to me. I have pockets. 139 00:05:28,806 --> 00:05:29,980 - We all have pockets. - Give it here. 140 00:05:29,981 --> 00:05:31,242 No, I'm not going to give it here. 141 00:05:31,243 --> 00:05:32,505 Uh, how about some food? 142 00:05:32,506 --> 00:05:34,245 Not eating can really raise tempers. 143 00:05:34,246 --> 00:05:36,204 Back home, we call it getting hungry mad. 144 00:05:36,205 --> 00:05:38,206 Yeah, why don't you go grab us some food, Martin? 145 00:05:38,207 --> 00:05:39,729 Oh, you'd love that-- tell everyone I was eating 146 00:05:39,730 --> 00:05:41,252 a turkey wrap while Dad died. 147 00:05:41,253 --> 00:05:42,732 That's not what she's saying, Martin. 148 00:05:42,733 --> 00:05:43,907 Stay cucked, Dave! 149 00:05:43,908 --> 00:05:45,256 - I've had about enough-- - All right. 150 00:05:45,257 --> 00:05:46,780 How about I'll get the food? 151 00:05:46,781 --> 00:05:48,390 I'm hearing turkey wraps. 152 00:05:48,391 --> 00:05:51,132 We also have a great French yogurt. 153 00:05:51,133 --> 00:05:52,307 Yo-plat. 154 00:05:52,308 --> 00:05:54,309 It's good. 155 00:05:54,310 --> 00:05:57,921 Well, my notary is late, as per youzhe. 156 00:05:57,922 --> 00:06:00,271 I'm looking for a new one, if you've got someone you like. 157 00:06:00,272 --> 00:06:02,796 Uh, you know, I'm actually between notaries 158 00:06:02,797 --> 00:06:04,363 at the moment, Joyce. - Gotcha. 159 00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:05,668 Yeah. 160 00:06:05,669 --> 00:06:08,323 Oh, I added you to our family's text thread 161 00:06:08,324 --> 00:06:10,194 so you can familiarize yourself with everyone. 162 00:06:10,195 --> 00:06:12,240 Yeah, I saw. 163 00:06:12,241 --> 00:06:13,981 They're a really chatty group. 164 00:06:13,982 --> 00:06:15,156 You'll grow to love them. 165 00:06:15,157 --> 00:06:16,897 You should come to my lake condo 166 00:06:16,898 --> 00:06:18,986 this weekend, catalog my assets. 167 00:06:18,987 --> 00:06:21,162 I'll call a few cousins, have them drive 168 00:06:21,163 --> 00:06:22,424 up to meet us on Saturday. 169 00:06:22,425 --> 00:06:24,818 - Uh, Saturday's not great. - Hey, guys. 170 00:06:24,819 --> 00:06:25,993 You planning a little girls' trip? 171 00:06:25,994 --> 00:06:27,298 No, we're not. 172 00:06:27,299 --> 00:06:29,039 Yeah, because your condo is kind of far. 173 00:06:29,040 --> 00:06:30,650 You may want to make a weekend out of it. 174 00:06:30,651 --> 00:06:34,305 But, Alex, you hate being home on the weekends anyway, so... 175 00:06:34,306 --> 00:06:36,743 Ron, that is a great idea. 176 00:06:36,744 --> 00:06:39,398 We'll have the whole Henderson crew meet up with you 177 00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:42,226 for a wine-and-ham night. - Oh-- 178 00:06:42,227 --> 00:06:44,272 Most of us are lactose intolerant, so bring 179 00:06:44,273 --> 00:06:46,274 your own cheese if you want-- we will not take it. 180 00:06:46,275 --> 00:06:47,406 - Oh. - It'll be fun. 181 00:06:50,932 --> 00:06:53,847 So the new plan is to die before Joyce. 182 00:06:53,848 --> 00:06:55,979 These are my DNA screening results. 183 00:06:55,980 --> 00:06:58,242 It's amazing how detailed it gets, 184 00:06:58,243 --> 00:07:01,158 especially if you do extremely well financially. 185 00:07:01,159 --> 00:07:02,769 You know, you got genetic markers 186 00:07:02,770 --> 00:07:04,074 and disease-causing variants. 187 00:07:04,075 --> 00:07:06,337 You know we use this to print patient charts? 188 00:07:06,338 --> 00:07:07,600 Uh, yeah. 189 00:07:07,601 --> 00:07:08,862 Val, that's right. 190 00:07:08,863 --> 00:07:10,690 Computers can do a lot of different things. 191 00:07:10,691 --> 00:07:13,170 Uh, ooh, see here, I'm allergic to birch. 192 00:07:13,171 --> 00:07:14,650 I didn't know that. 193 00:07:14,651 --> 00:07:16,609 I mean, that's helpful. 194 00:07:16,610 --> 00:07:17,958 What's that red flag mean? 195 00:07:17,959 --> 00:07:19,394 Huh, I don't think I've ever-- 196 00:07:19,395 --> 00:07:20,874 Well, let me just scroll down. 197 00:07:20,875 --> 00:07:22,223 The middle wheel scrolls. - Yeah. 198 00:07:22,224 --> 00:07:23,659 Click it in, it goes even smoother. 199 00:07:23,660 --> 00:07:24,704 Yeah. 200 00:07:24,705 --> 00:07:26,183 OK. 201 00:07:26,184 --> 00:07:28,490 It says here I got a 16% chance of getting something 202 00:07:28,491 --> 00:07:31,362 called Hollins Syndrome in 30 to 40 years. 203 00:07:31,363 --> 00:07:33,060 Doesn't sound like a big deal. 204 00:07:33,061 --> 00:07:35,584 20% mortality. 205 00:07:35,585 --> 00:07:37,978 Oh, God, I'm trembling. 206 00:07:37,979 --> 00:07:39,327 Uh, excuse me. 207 00:07:39,328 --> 00:07:41,285 No, I can't-- this is not a good time. 208 00:07:41,286 --> 00:07:42,896 I need a second here. 209 00:07:42,897 --> 00:07:44,898 Thanks. 210 00:07:44,899 --> 00:07:46,421 How long is the cord? 211 00:07:46,422 --> 00:07:48,554 How long is it? What's this for, a giraffe? 212 00:07:48,555 --> 00:07:50,904 Ridiculous! - I'm going to log you out. 213 00:07:50,905 --> 00:07:53,646 There's my paperwork princess. 214 00:07:53,647 --> 00:07:54,821 No, queen. 215 00:07:54,822 --> 00:07:57,737 Yas, my queen. - Hey, Joyce. 216 00:07:57,738 --> 00:07:59,303 My notary just got here, 217 00:07:59,304 --> 00:08:01,523 45 minutes after I asked him to be here. 218 00:08:01,524 --> 00:08:03,482 There was construction on the interstate. 219 00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:05,309 Hey. - Hi, nice to meet you. 220 00:08:05,310 --> 00:08:07,442 You don't have to be polite to him--he's just a notary. 221 00:08:07,443 --> 00:08:10,532 OK, so are we ready to make this thing official? 222 00:08:10,533 --> 00:08:12,752 Um, yeah, I have been wondering, Joyce. 223 00:08:12,753 --> 00:08:15,276 Are you sure that I'm the right person to handle your estate? 224 00:08:15,277 --> 00:08:17,278 What? Why? 225 00:08:17,279 --> 00:08:18,540 You don't want to do it or something? 226 00:08:18,541 --> 00:08:20,716 No, I want-- of course I want to, Joyce. 227 00:08:20,717 --> 00:08:22,284 It's just, um... 228 00:08:24,112 --> 00:08:26,243 Ron wants to do it. 229 00:08:26,244 --> 00:08:27,854 - Ron? - Yeah. 230 00:08:27,855 --> 00:08:29,203 He was pretty upset 231 00:08:29,204 --> 00:08:31,248 when he found out that you asked me and not him. 232 00:08:31,249 --> 00:08:33,076 It's just because you guys go way back, you know? 233 00:08:33,077 --> 00:08:35,992 And he kept saying, like, how well each other from residency 234 00:08:35,993 --> 00:08:37,472 all those years ago. 235 00:08:37,473 --> 00:08:39,474 - He talks about that? - Yeah, he said that you had 236 00:08:39,475 --> 00:08:42,303 these, like, cool magenta scrubs, right? 237 00:08:42,304 --> 00:08:44,958 And he was like, wow, she seems powerful. 238 00:08:44,959 --> 00:08:46,350 That's what I was going for! 239 00:08:46,351 --> 00:08:48,352 - No way. - Yeah. 240 00:08:48,353 --> 00:08:52,182 And here we are, flaunting our fun, ham-filled, 241 00:08:52,183 --> 00:08:54,402 lake condo weekend right in front of him. 242 00:08:54,403 --> 00:08:56,056 - I know. - I can't believe this. 243 00:08:56,057 --> 00:08:58,232 OK. Thank you for telling me this. 244 00:08:58,233 --> 00:08:59,712 I will have a chat with him right away. 245 00:08:59,713 --> 00:09:01,715 - OK. - You can wait. 246 00:09:05,196 --> 00:09:07,067 You need anything notarized? 247 00:09:07,068 --> 00:09:09,765 Affidavits, custody agreements, or... 248 00:09:09,766 --> 00:09:12,072 Oh. Uh, no, I'm good. 249 00:09:12,073 --> 00:09:13,377 Thanks. - OK. 250 00:09:13,378 --> 00:09:15,641 Well, if you change your mind, I have my stamp. 251 00:09:15,642 --> 00:09:17,033 Cool. 252 00:09:17,034 --> 00:09:19,514 They're still at it, huh? 253 00:09:19,515 --> 00:09:21,472 It's like, why start a family if that's 254 00:09:21,473 --> 00:09:23,170 what everyone ends up with? 255 00:09:23,171 --> 00:09:24,998 I still want kids, though. 256 00:09:24,999 --> 00:09:26,652 I think if you're with the right person, 257 00:09:26,653 --> 00:09:28,479 you can make the family you want. 258 00:09:28,480 --> 00:09:29,916 That's what I'm looking for. 259 00:09:29,917 --> 00:09:32,092 Matty, that's cute. 260 00:09:32,093 --> 00:09:33,354 I hope you find it. 261 00:09:33,355 --> 00:09:37,010 So do I as--as well. 262 00:09:37,011 --> 00:09:39,578 So who are the contenders? 263 00:09:39,579 --> 00:09:41,841 Are you crushing on any guys at work? 264 00:09:41,842 --> 00:09:43,407 What? 265 00:09:43,408 --> 00:09:45,409 That new X-ray tech, his ass in those scrubs? 266 00:09:45,410 --> 00:09:47,194 Oof. I mean, I would, but he wouldn't want it. 267 00:09:47,195 --> 00:09:49,022 No, no, I'm not, uh... 268 00:09:49,023 --> 00:09:50,501 I'm not gay. 269 00:09:50,502 --> 00:09:51,894 You thought I was-- you thought I was gay? 270 00:09:51,895 --> 00:09:53,766 Yeah, you have that picture of Shawn Mendes 271 00:09:53,767 --> 00:09:56,507 saved on your phone. - That was haircut inspo. 272 00:09:56,508 --> 00:09:59,641 It was for my barber. - Oh, my bad. 273 00:10:02,558 --> 00:10:04,646 I thought Serena and I were making progress. 274 00:10:04,647 --> 00:10:06,735 If you asked me this morning, I would have told you 275 00:10:06,736 --> 00:10:09,520 I was about a third of the way up this hill. 276 00:10:09,521 --> 00:10:13,220 But it turns out I am at the bottom 277 00:10:13,221 --> 00:10:16,223 of a giant pit that is next to the hill. 278 00:10:16,224 --> 00:10:19,139 And in that pit, I'm gay. 279 00:10:19,140 --> 00:10:21,445 OK, the doctor will be here in a minute. 280 00:10:21,446 --> 00:10:24,623 Did someone have a little chitty-chat with Joyce? 281 00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:26,625 I don't know what you're talking about, Ron. 282 00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:28,539 Joyce and I talk about a lot of things, you know, 283 00:10:28,540 --> 00:10:30,541 because, uh, we're gal pals. 284 00:10:30,542 --> 00:10:32,456 Well, let me fill you in. 285 00:10:32,457 --> 00:10:35,068 Joyce just asked me to be the executor of her estate 286 00:10:35,069 --> 00:10:37,200 right after she asked you. 287 00:10:37,201 --> 00:10:38,593 What? 288 00:10:38,594 --> 00:10:39,942 Ah, well, I guess if she wants you to do it, 289 00:10:39,943 --> 00:10:41,944 then I'm OK with that. - Yeah, well, I'm not. 290 00:10:41,945 --> 00:10:45,600 But I couldn't say that because she was crying, 291 00:10:45,601 --> 00:10:47,602 and she told me she never realized 292 00:10:47,603 --> 00:10:49,691 our friendship meant so much to me. 293 00:10:49,692 --> 00:10:53,216 Ugh, the bond you guys have. Honestly, I'm jealous. 294 00:10:53,217 --> 00:10:55,218 I know what you did. 295 00:10:55,219 --> 00:10:57,438 And a part of me respects it. 296 00:10:57,439 --> 00:10:59,701 A larger part of me is annoyed by it, 297 00:10:59,702 --> 00:11:04,097 and an even larger part cannot wait to teach you a lesson. 298 00:11:04,098 --> 00:11:06,490 And an even larger part has sympathy 299 00:11:06,491 --> 00:11:08,579 for a working mom who's just trying to get a break 300 00:11:08,580 --> 00:11:11,192 from all the nonsense? - Nope, we're all out of parts. 301 00:11:15,413 --> 00:11:18,024 And how is cremation going to work anyway? 302 00:11:18,025 --> 00:11:19,416 You get half his ashes, and then I get half his ashes? 303 00:11:19,417 --> 00:11:20,722 You know what, Martin? 304 00:11:20,723 --> 00:11:21,897 It's controversial, but I think we should 305 00:11:21,898 --> 00:11:23,116 keep our father in one urn. 306 00:11:23,117 --> 00:11:24,770 Maybe you guys can hash this out later. 307 00:11:24,771 --> 00:11:26,206 And where is this urn going to live? 308 00:11:26,207 --> 00:11:28,208 Are we going to mail it back and forth? 309 00:11:28,209 --> 00:11:29,949 This is technically a quiet wing, 310 00:11:29,950 --> 00:11:31,864 so if we could just calm down. 311 00:11:31,865 --> 00:11:33,387 We're not going to calm down. We're grieving. 312 00:11:33,388 --> 00:11:35,302 So maybe you could just mind your own business. 313 00:11:35,303 --> 00:11:36,956 Don't snap at her! 314 00:11:36,957 --> 00:11:38,522 OK, I know emotions are high, but everybody in this hospital 315 00:11:38,523 --> 00:11:40,873 is dealing with something, so freaking out on the people 316 00:11:40,874 --> 00:11:42,744 that are trying to help you is not useful. 317 00:11:42,745 --> 00:11:45,965 And this may surprise you, but lunch was $85. 318 00:11:45,966 --> 00:11:47,923 And I tipped Peter at the register 20%, 319 00:11:47,924 --> 00:11:50,926 and I'm not including that because I am a nice guy. 320 00:11:54,322 --> 00:11:56,671 Thanks. 321 00:11:56,672 --> 00:11:58,368 Um, Peter doesn't make the wraps, 322 00:11:58,369 --> 00:11:59,979 so you don't have to tip him. 323 00:11:59,980 --> 00:12:01,632 He was looking right at me when I was tapping the screen. 324 00:12:01,633 --> 00:12:03,243 That's Linda's. 325 00:12:03,244 --> 00:12:04,853 What are you, the iced tea police? 326 00:12:04,854 --> 00:12:06,463 You know, just let him have it, hon. 327 00:12:06,464 --> 00:12:07,943 OK? Then he'll shut up. 328 00:12:07,944 --> 00:12:09,205 Please. Come on, honey. 329 00:12:09,206 --> 00:12:10,467 Oh! 330 00:12:10,468 --> 00:12:12,992 - Matt! - Uh, it's OK. 331 00:12:12,993 --> 00:12:16,604 It's just my lip and teeth and tongue. 332 00:12:16,605 --> 00:12:18,780 Also, I'm dizzy. - What did you do? 333 00:12:18,781 --> 00:12:21,043 You hit the poor little boy doctor! 334 00:12:24,134 --> 00:12:26,962 Yeah, Keith. 335 00:12:26,963 --> 00:12:29,095 She was like a dog with a bone. 336 00:12:31,011 --> 00:12:32,881 What's so funny, you guys? 337 00:12:32,882 --> 00:12:34,361 I'm not sure. 338 00:12:34,362 --> 00:12:35,841 Oh, hey, Joyce. 339 00:12:35,842 --> 00:12:37,799 We were just talking about that time Hector got sick, 340 00:12:37,800 --> 00:12:39,888 and, uh, Alex set up his meal train. 341 00:12:39,889 --> 00:12:41,194 Yeah, that was rough. 342 00:12:41,195 --> 00:12:43,152 He was touch and go for a few weeks. 343 00:12:43,153 --> 00:12:45,067 Yeah, I'm telling the story, Keith, OK? 344 00:12:45,068 --> 00:12:47,504 She'd asked us all to pitch in, and she remembered his, 345 00:12:47,505 --> 00:12:49,158 uh, food preferences. 346 00:12:49,159 --> 00:12:52,335 And so she had this Excel spreadsheet and everything. 347 00:12:52,336 --> 00:12:54,990 She was a real superhero. - The amazing Alex. 348 00:12:54,991 --> 00:12:57,906 We are not workshopping this, Keith. 349 00:12:57,907 --> 00:13:01,344 She really could do anything she puts her mind to. 350 00:13:01,345 --> 00:13:02,693 Oh, yeah. 351 00:13:02,694 --> 00:13:04,695 OK. OK. 352 00:13:04,696 --> 00:13:06,001 Well, what's the funny part? 353 00:13:06,002 --> 00:13:09,004 Well, the funny part is that somehow 354 00:13:09,005 --> 00:13:11,702 she's not in charge of everything 355 00:13:11,703 --> 00:13:13,356 and she really should be. 356 00:13:13,357 --> 00:13:15,837 Oh, I see. 357 00:13:15,838 --> 00:13:18,840 Well, yeah--I was waiting for a bigger payoff, 358 00:13:18,841 --> 00:13:20,537 but, yeah, that is funny. 359 00:13:20,538 --> 00:13:24,151 Funny. 360 00:13:25,587 --> 00:13:27,588 Hey, remember when Hector came back from-- 361 00:13:29,765 --> 00:13:31,722 I can't get the number out of my head. 362 00:13:31,723 --> 00:13:34,943 16%, 16%, 16%. 363 00:13:34,944 --> 00:13:37,337 16% chance in 40 years, Bruce. 364 00:13:37,338 --> 00:13:38,904 And the disease itself-- 365 00:13:38,905 --> 00:13:41,689 I've never been to Europe or any of the other places. 366 00:13:41,690 --> 00:13:43,343 Bruce, you're fine. 367 00:13:43,344 --> 00:13:44,735 You're going to die on the same schedule as the rest of us. 368 00:13:44,736 --> 00:13:46,259 Yeah, that's the problem. 369 00:13:46,260 --> 00:13:48,696 Just think of all I've done in my first 38 years. 370 00:13:48,697 --> 00:13:50,959 Really, go ahead, visualize it. - I'm visualizing it. 371 00:13:50,960 --> 00:13:53,396 Well, now, imagine what I could do in 100 years, 372 00:13:53,397 --> 00:13:55,224 in 1,000 years. 373 00:13:55,225 --> 00:13:57,270 I'm not worried about missing out on the world. 374 00:13:57,271 --> 00:14:00,490 I'm worried about the world missing out on Bruce Schweitz. 375 00:14:00,491 --> 00:14:02,884 Maybe I should have children, preserve my bloodline. 376 00:14:02,885 --> 00:14:04,886 You should definitely not have children. 377 00:14:04,887 --> 00:14:06,583 Yeah, probably not. 378 00:14:06,584 --> 00:14:09,412 If there were a nurse here, you know, Alex-- 379 00:14:09,413 --> 00:14:10,849 Hey! 380 00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:12,938 What ya--what ya doing, friends, huh? 381 00:14:12,939 --> 00:14:14,287 Heard my name. 382 00:14:14,288 --> 00:14:16,376 Best keep my name out your mouth. 383 00:14:16,377 --> 00:14:17,899 Sorry. 384 00:14:17,900 --> 00:14:19,770 Alex, Ron was just singing your praises-- 385 00:14:19,771 --> 00:14:20,946 totally unprompted. 386 00:14:20,947 --> 00:14:23,035 Oh, she's organized. She's capable. 387 00:14:23,036 --> 00:14:24,601 How sweet is that? 388 00:14:24,602 --> 00:14:26,081 That is so Ron. 389 00:14:26,082 --> 00:14:28,083 You know, he's just such a great guy. 390 00:14:28,084 --> 00:14:30,259 I would trust him with my life--or my death-- 391 00:14:30,260 --> 00:14:32,174 you know, any major milestone really. 392 00:14:32,175 --> 00:14:34,698 Well, she really brings the best out of me. 393 00:14:34,699 --> 00:14:37,179 - Oh. Mm. - Out of all of us, really. 394 00:14:37,180 --> 00:14:39,442 I think-- 395 00:14:39,443 --> 00:14:42,793 Is something going on with those two? 396 00:14:42,794 --> 00:14:44,795 No. No. 397 00:14:44,796 --> 00:14:46,493 But maybe. 398 00:14:46,494 --> 00:14:48,843 It's fine. I just need to wash it. 399 00:14:48,844 --> 00:14:50,671 Let me help you, dude. 400 00:14:50,672 --> 00:14:53,282 You defended my honor and got clocked with an iced tea. 401 00:14:53,283 --> 00:14:56,242 I mean, that was some "Real Housewives"-type stuff. 402 00:14:56,243 --> 00:14:59,289 You got to change your shirt. - Oh. 403 00:15:04,381 --> 00:15:06,861 Yikes. How'd you get that? 404 00:15:06,862 --> 00:15:08,645 You fall off a trampoline or something? 405 00:15:08,646 --> 00:15:10,125 Oh, uh, no. 406 00:15:10,126 --> 00:15:12,258 Back home we were repairing the grain silo, 407 00:15:12,259 --> 00:15:15,130 and I got got by a piece of scrap metal. 408 00:15:15,131 --> 00:15:17,480 Wait, that's this one. 409 00:15:17,481 --> 00:15:20,266 Oh, uh, this is actually a horse we were breaking in. 410 00:15:20,267 --> 00:15:23,051 I got bucked off, so... klutz alert. 411 00:15:23,052 --> 00:15:25,488 When I first heard we were getting a nurse from Montana, 412 00:15:25,489 --> 00:15:27,490 I was like, "Montana." 413 00:15:27,491 --> 00:15:30,319 But then Matt showed up, and I was like, "Montana." 414 00:15:30,320 --> 00:15:33,670 But now I'm sort of like, "OK, Montana." 415 00:15:33,671 --> 00:15:35,977 She has the natural warmth of a caretaker 416 00:15:35,978 --> 00:15:38,371 but the mind of, um... 417 00:15:38,372 --> 00:15:40,547 Not a lawyer-- - Not at all. 418 00:15:40,548 --> 00:15:42,201 - An executor. - Oh. 419 00:15:42,202 --> 00:15:44,159 OK, well, that is interesting. 420 00:15:44,160 --> 00:15:45,813 You know, did I ever tell you about the time 421 00:15:45,814 --> 00:15:47,597 that I lost Ella at the state fair? 422 00:15:47,598 --> 00:15:50,122 Six hours, no contact. The police were called. 423 00:15:50,123 --> 00:15:53,299 Whoa, where was she? 424 00:15:53,300 --> 00:15:55,823 Uh, on the Tilt-A-Whirl. 425 00:15:55,824 --> 00:15:57,172 Wow. 426 00:15:57,173 --> 00:16:00,480 Six hours on a five-minute ride. 427 00:16:00,481 --> 00:16:03,004 That's 140 cycles. 428 00:16:03,005 --> 00:16:04,832 She messed up from that? 429 00:16:04,833 --> 00:16:06,529 No, she's fine. 430 00:16:06,530 --> 00:16:08,444 Although, who knows? 431 00:16:08,445 --> 00:16:10,229 You know, we never had her tested, so... 432 00:16:10,230 --> 00:16:12,100 OK, Alex, you're acting really weird. 433 00:16:12,101 --> 00:16:15,190 What's going on? - Noth-- 434 00:16:15,191 --> 00:16:18,629 OK, what is up with me, Joyce, is that... 435 00:16:20,501 --> 00:16:23,416 You know, you're-- you're my friend. 436 00:16:23,417 --> 00:16:27,463 We've been getting really close lately, and I just... 437 00:16:27,464 --> 00:16:30,249 I don't know, I think about you dying, and I just-- 438 00:16:30,250 --> 00:16:31,641 I can't. 439 00:16:31,642 --> 00:16:34,688 Yeah, me too. I'm--I'm sad about that, too. 440 00:16:34,689 --> 00:16:36,211 Oh. 441 00:16:36,212 --> 00:16:37,952 Well, sweetie, I don't want you 442 00:16:37,953 --> 00:16:39,562 to have to feel all that grief now. 443 00:16:39,563 --> 00:16:42,043 So why don't we just let Ron do it, OK? 444 00:16:42,044 --> 00:16:43,392 OK, yeah. 445 00:16:43,393 --> 00:16:45,568 Yeah, I guess that's probably for the best, so... 446 00:16:45,569 --> 00:16:47,614 OK, well, we're going to change that paperwork. 447 00:16:47,615 --> 00:16:49,833 Ron, why don't you swing by my office later? 448 00:16:49,834 --> 00:16:53,272 We'll talk responsibilities, executor fee, all that stuff. 449 00:16:53,273 --> 00:16:54,403 OK? 450 00:16:54,404 --> 00:16:56,101 Wait, sorry, there's an executor fee? 451 00:16:56,102 --> 00:16:57,624 Oh, yeah. 452 00:16:57,625 --> 00:17:00,061 It's only $50,000, but I hope it provides 453 00:17:00,062 --> 00:17:02,324 some comfort when the time comes. 454 00:17:02,325 --> 00:17:04,196 But you don't have to worry about that now, OK? 455 00:17:04,197 --> 00:17:07,068 I'm fine. I'm fine. 456 00:17:07,069 --> 00:17:09,244 You guys are out of Cool Ranch, by the way. 457 00:17:09,245 --> 00:17:10,767 OK, your breath stinks. 458 00:17:10,768 --> 00:17:13,119 $50,000. 459 00:17:14,903 --> 00:17:17,252 Please just tell Joyce I should be the executor. 460 00:17:17,253 --> 00:17:19,080 Changing your tune just because there's 461 00:17:19,081 --> 00:17:20,951 a little money involved-- very tacky. 462 00:17:20,952 --> 00:17:23,519 Come on, Ron. 50 grand is not nothing, OK? 463 00:17:23,520 --> 00:17:25,434 And I've got two kids to send to college. 464 00:17:25,435 --> 00:17:27,088 And, you know, the little one eats worms. 465 00:17:27,089 --> 00:17:28,350 He's not going to get a scholarship. 466 00:17:28,351 --> 00:17:29,917 Your kids are grown. 467 00:17:29,918 --> 00:17:31,701 You don't know that I'm done having kids. 468 00:17:31,702 --> 00:17:33,094 I could pull a De Niro. - Please. 469 00:17:33,095 --> 00:17:34,704 Please? 470 00:17:34,705 --> 00:17:37,272 Fine, I will tell Joyce to make you the executor. 471 00:17:37,273 --> 00:17:40,710 All you have to say is, Ron, I learned my lesson. 472 00:17:40,711 --> 00:17:41,885 You are not to be trifled with. 473 00:17:41,886 --> 00:17:43,800 Yeah, I'm not going to say that. 474 00:17:43,801 --> 00:17:45,889 But thank you so much for telling Joyce. 475 00:17:45,890 --> 00:17:48,631 So the logic is you two deserve the house 476 00:17:48,632 --> 00:17:50,807 because you gave him a couple of baths? 477 00:17:50,808 --> 00:17:52,244 Have you ever had to gently wash your own father's 478 00:17:52,245 --> 00:17:53,767 genitals, Martin? 479 00:17:53,768 --> 00:17:55,116 Because it's significant. - He's going. 480 00:17:55,117 --> 00:17:56,465 So is a house. 481 00:17:56,466 --> 00:17:58,424 The house is significant as well, Linda. 482 00:17:58,425 --> 00:17:59,947 Listen, picture 96 years-- 483 00:17:59,948 --> 00:18:01,253 Oh, Bruce, we need you in here. 484 00:18:01,254 --> 00:18:03,429 For a million dollars, I'd wash 'em right now! 485 00:18:03,430 --> 00:18:04,995 - That's gross! - Just stop! 486 00:18:04,996 --> 00:18:06,301 It's happening! 487 00:18:18,184 --> 00:18:21,490 ♪ The walk to the god house ♪ 488 00:18:21,491 --> 00:18:24,798 ♪ Seems to take forever 489 00:18:24,799 --> 00:18:27,279 ♪ People seldom go that way 490 00:18:27,280 --> 00:18:29,890 ♪ The path is like a cemetery ♪ 491 00:18:29,891 --> 00:18:32,806 Time of death, 2:01 p.m. 492 00:18:32,807 --> 00:18:34,895 ♪ Tend to string out over miles ♪ 493 00:18:34,896 --> 00:18:37,767 ♪ 'Cause the people want to just be left alone ♪ 494 00:18:40,075 --> 00:18:42,424 ♪ People want to just be left alone ♪ 495 00:18:42,425 --> 00:18:43,991 We love you, Dad. 496 00:18:43,992 --> 00:18:45,819 I'm sorry I didn't come by more. 497 00:18:45,820 --> 00:18:49,039 ♪ People want to just be left alone ♪ 498 00:18:49,040 --> 00:18:52,217 I'm so sorry. 499 00:18:52,218 --> 00:18:56,351 ♪ People want to just be left alone ♪ 500 00:18:56,352 --> 00:18:59,702 I am so sorry. 501 00:18:59,703 --> 00:19:02,227 Hollins Syndrome is just a word. 502 00:19:02,228 --> 00:19:04,620 Well, two words, technically-- a phrase, you know? 503 00:19:04,621 --> 00:19:06,013 I've been so focused 504 00:19:06,014 --> 00:19:08,189 on Bruce Schweitz 100 years from now, 505 00:19:08,190 --> 00:19:10,887 but what really matters is Bruce Schweitz right now. 506 00:19:10,888 --> 00:19:14,848 I'd rather live 100% with my 16% risk 507 00:19:14,849 --> 00:19:18,025 than live 16% of 100% of life. 508 00:19:18,026 --> 00:19:21,507 You know, because that's only, what, 84%? 509 00:19:21,508 --> 00:19:23,509 If--no, that's not right. 510 00:19:23,510 --> 00:19:25,641 Um, who's got a pen? Anyone? 511 00:19:25,642 --> 00:19:27,121 - Alex. - Hey. 512 00:19:27,122 --> 00:19:29,471 I am so pleased that you've accepted this position. 513 00:19:29,472 --> 00:19:32,039 And, Ron, I'm so proud of you for stepping aside, 514 00:19:32,040 --> 00:19:34,084 despite how much you wanted this. 515 00:19:34,085 --> 00:19:37,566 Mister notary, uh, the, uh, documents, please. 516 00:19:37,567 --> 00:19:38,872 Are you sure about this? 517 00:19:38,873 --> 00:19:40,700 Well, that's weird. 518 00:19:40,701 --> 00:19:42,571 By committing your name to paper, 519 00:19:42,572 --> 00:19:46,314 you will become my most trusted friend and confidant. 520 00:19:46,315 --> 00:19:47,750 Well, I'm honored, Joyce. 521 00:19:47,751 --> 00:19:49,796 Where do I--here? 522 00:19:49,797 --> 00:19:51,232 - Just-- - Enough! 523 00:19:51,233 --> 00:19:53,060 Are you really going to go through with this, Jojo? 524 00:19:53,061 --> 00:19:54,714 Well, you've left me no choice! 525 00:19:54,715 --> 00:19:56,194 Did he call you Jojo? 526 00:19:56,195 --> 00:19:58,239 Look, I am sorry that I didn't get you a plus-one 527 00:19:58,240 --> 00:19:59,762 to my college reunion. 528 00:19:59,763 --> 00:20:01,242 But that does not mean that I am not committed to you! 529 00:20:01,243 --> 00:20:03,070 Well, what else could it mean, Sanderson? 530 00:20:03,071 --> 00:20:04,898 You wanted to fly solo... - Sanderson. 531 00:20:04,899 --> 00:20:06,813 So you could flirt with divorced ladies! 532 00:20:06,814 --> 00:20:08,815 No, no, none of my friends from home brought dates. 533 00:20:08,816 --> 00:20:10,469 Yeah, because they're all losers, Sandwich. 534 00:20:10,470 --> 00:20:11,861 They're not worth your time. 535 00:20:11,862 --> 00:20:13,254 - Sandwich. - Wow. 536 00:20:13,255 --> 00:20:15,691 So this is your boyfriend? - Yeah, off-again. 537 00:20:15,692 --> 00:20:17,084 Babe. 538 00:20:17,085 --> 00:20:19,652 Wow, what a cool and interesting way 539 00:20:19,653 --> 00:20:21,523 for us to meet him. 540 00:20:21,524 --> 00:20:23,003 Joyce, don't give up on us! 541 00:20:23,004 --> 00:20:24,570 Look... 542 00:20:24,571 --> 00:20:27,399 I'll start paying rent, OK? 543 00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:29,575 And--and you know what else? 544 00:20:29,576 --> 00:20:32,578 I'll wear the ring you gave me. 545 00:20:32,579 --> 00:20:35,276 On your ring finger? 546 00:20:35,277 --> 00:20:36,582 Fine. 547 00:20:36,583 --> 00:20:39,498 - Really? - Yeah, I will. 548 00:20:39,499 --> 00:20:42,109 - Already leaving. - Oh! 549 00:20:42,110 --> 00:20:44,067 You think it's, like, a promise ring? 550 00:20:44,068 --> 00:20:46,244 I don't know. 551 00:20:46,245 --> 00:20:49,986 Stop that. Come on. 552 00:20:49,987 --> 00:20:51,945 I'm not going to lie-- I thought she was making up 553 00:20:51,946 --> 00:20:54,687 Sanderson the whole time. - Me too. 554 00:20:54,688 --> 00:20:57,298 I guess my kid's going to have to go to a state school now. 555 00:20:57,299 --> 00:21:00,519 But it's fine, you know? He needs to be close to Mom. 556 00:21:00,520 --> 00:21:02,825 Well, if this helps, I looked over her plan, 557 00:21:02,826 --> 00:21:06,307 and that 50K was based on a 1996 valuation 558 00:21:06,308 --> 00:21:09,310 of lots of Sears stock, so you really dodged a bullet. 559 00:21:09,311 --> 00:21:11,747 Mm-hmm. And you found this out before or after 560 00:21:11,748 --> 00:21:13,619 you let me take the job? 561 00:21:13,620 --> 00:21:16,448 Absolutely before. 562 00:21:16,449 --> 00:21:18,972 Say it, Alex. 563 00:21:18,973 --> 00:21:21,366 Ron Leonard is not to be trifled with.