1
00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:19,000
Does it bother anybody else
that these women live in Hooterville?

2
00:00:18,800 --> 00:00:21,900
Technically, Petticoat Junction
is down the track from Hooterville.

3
00:00:21,900 --> 00:00:23,500
Okay, does it bother anybody else...

4
00:00:23,400 --> 00:00:25,900
that they live down the track
from Hooterville?

5
00:00:25,800 --> 00:00:28,900
It bothers me that they bathe
in the town water tank.

6
00:00:29,700 --> 00:00:31,100
With the dog.

7
00:00:31,100 --> 00:00:34,400
It isn't the drinking water.
It is the water for the train.

8
00:00:34,600 --> 00:00:38,800
- It's still three naked women with a dog.
- I want to be the Hooterville dog.

9
00:00:40,500 --> 00:00:43,000
Yoo-hoo! Coming down.

10
00:00:43,200 --> 00:00:46,400
Now don't mind me.
I'm just putting some clothes in.

11
00:00:46,400 --> 00:00:47,600
Eric, honey...

12
00:00:47,700 --> 00:00:50,300
I thought you could wear this
on your birthday. It's nice.

13
00:00:50,300 --> 00:00:52,200
You look so handsome in it.

14
00:00:52,400 --> 00:00:54,500
Why would I want to dress nice
on my birthday?

15
00:00:54,500 --> 00:00:55,600
It's your birthday?

16
00:00:55,700 --> 00:00:59,000
You never know what's going
to happen on your birthday.

17
00:00:59,700 --> 00:01:03,000
Mom, do not throw a party for me.

18
00:01:03,500 --> 00:01:07,800
Listen to Mr. Popularity.
Like I have time to plan you a party.

19
00:01:12,000 --> 00:01:13,000
By the way...

20
00:01:13,100 --> 00:01:16,600
your sister Laurie's coming home
from college for the weekend.

21
00:01:16,500 --> 00:01:18,800
No special reason. She just is.

22
00:01:21,400 --> 00:01:24,900
You're getting a party.
And best of all, it's a surprise.

23
00:01:24,800 --> 00:01:26,800
I just realized, Donna's older than you.

24
00:01:26,800 --> 00:01:29,100
- Only by a month.
- Good for you, Eric.

25
00:01:29,200 --> 00:01:31,900
- Good for me, what?
- In my country...

26
00:01:31,700 --> 00:01:34,300
it is good luck
to fall in love with an older woman.

27
00:01:34,300 --> 00:01:37,200
- Fez?
- No, they come with livestock.

28
00:01:39,400 --> 00:01:41,500
<i>Hanging out</i>

29
00:01:43,100 --> 00:01:45,300
<i>Down the street</i>

30
00:01:46,700 --> 00:01:48,900
<i>The same old thing</i>

31
00:01:50,100 --> 00:01:52,300
<i>We did last week</i>

32
00:01:53,500 --> 00:01:56,500
<i>Not a thing to do</i>

33
00:01:57,200 --> 00:02:00,100
<i>But talk to you</i>

34
00:02:00,400 --> 00:02:02,600
<i>Whoa, yeah</i>

35
00:02:04,600 --> 00:02:07,600
<i>Hello, Wisconsin!</i>

36
00:02:21,300 --> 00:02:23,200
- Morning.
- Morning.

37
00:02:28,300 --> 00:02:29,600
I'll get it.

38
00:02:36,700 --> 00:02:38,100
I'll get it.

39
00:02:41,400 --> 00:02:44,700
Did I just see about
seven bags of potato chips in there?

40
00:02:44,700 --> 00:02:46,300
They were on sale.

41
00:02:47,900 --> 00:02:49,600
Please, don't throw me a party.

42
00:02:49,900 --> 00:02:51,200
I'm not throwing a party.

43
00:02:51,200 --> 00:02:52,900
- Don't give him one.
- I'm not.

44
00:02:52,900 --> 00:02:56,000
- He's too old for a surprise party.
- I'm agreeing with you.

45
00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:58,200
- Then stop yelling.
- I'm not yelling.

46
00:02:59,100 --> 00:03:01,900
Look, I know money is tight,
so I don't want a big birthday.

47
00:03:01,700 --> 00:03:04,000
I'll decide when money is tight.

48
00:03:04,900 --> 00:03:07,300
Now, what kind of gift do you want?

49
00:03:07,200 --> 00:03:10,500
Don't worry about the cost.
As long as it's reasonable.

50
00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:13,600
Okay. I would like
a cassette player for the car.

51
00:03:14,200 --> 00:03:16,600
A cassette. Not an eight-track.

52
00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:18,600
No eight-track, okay?

53
00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:24,000
You know, I don't know why they
don't just put record players in cars.

54
00:03:26,300 --> 00:03:29,700
The point is,
I don't want an eight-track tape player.

55
00:03:29,800 --> 00:03:32,600
- Then you won't get one.
- But, honey, he wants one.

56
00:03:32,500 --> 00:03:35,300
No, I want a tape player,
just not an eight-track.

57
00:03:35,900 --> 00:03:37,100
You'll get a Delco.

58
00:03:37,200 --> 00:03:40,100
A genuine GM part
for your genuine GM car.

59
00:03:41,700 --> 00:03:44,100
It doesn't have to be a Delco.
It's just for music.

60
00:03:44,000 --> 00:03:46,600
See, now there's your first mistake.

61
00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:49,400
Parts have to be compatible, Eric.

62
00:03:52,100 --> 00:03:55,100
You're not burning cheap gas
in that car, are you?

63
00:03:56,000 --> 00:03:57,200
No, sir.

64
00:04:00,100 --> 00:04:01,500
I'm going out.

65
00:04:02,500 --> 00:04:03,600
Good.

66
00:04:04,100 --> 00:04:08,100
I want you to run to the store for me.
Get a large can of frosting...

67
00:04:08,100 --> 00:04:11,400
and 15 small bags of MandM's.
Plain, not peanuts.

68
00:04:16,700 --> 00:04:18,300
They're for your sister.

69
00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:28,600
That was close.

70
00:04:39,500 --> 00:04:41,500
- So?
- What?

71
00:04:41,500 --> 00:04:43,700
What are you going to get Eric
for his birthday?

72
00:04:43,700 --> 00:04:44,900
I don't know.

73
00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:46,800
Nothing seems right.

74
00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:50,100
I want to give him something special.

75
00:04:53,300 --> 00:04:54,400
He kissed you!

76
00:04:55,300 --> 00:04:58,600
Get in the car.
Donna, get in the car so we can talk.

77
00:05:02,300 --> 00:05:04,000
Okay, what happened?

78
00:05:04,300 --> 00:05:06,900
Jackie, I'm not gonna talk
to you about this.

79
00:05:06,900 --> 00:05:08,900
Then who are you gonna talk to?

80
00:05:12,400 --> 00:05:15,800
Okay, we get home
from the Rundgren Concert...

81
00:05:15,600 --> 00:05:18,500
and I'm sitting on the hood of the car,
and I kissed him.

82
00:05:18,500 --> 00:05:20,200
French or American?

83
00:05:21,100 --> 00:05:23,500
I can't believe I'm talking to you about this.

84
00:05:23,400 --> 00:05:25,100
Guys, no.

85
00:05:27,800 --> 00:05:29,800
Okay, so...

86
00:05:30,100 --> 00:05:32,700
Look, I've lived next door to Eric
my entire life...

87
00:05:32,700 --> 00:05:34,300
and we talk about everything together.

88
00:05:34,300 --> 00:05:36,200
We love the same music,
we love the Packers.

89
00:05:36,200 --> 00:05:38,000
Then I kissed him, and everything changed.

90
00:05:38,100 --> 00:05:40,300
Now I don't know
if he's my boyfriend or best friend.

91
00:05:40,300 --> 00:05:42,200
If he's my boyfriend,
I'd lose my best friend.

92
00:05:42,200 --> 00:05:43,600
If I screw it up, I lose both.

93
00:05:43,600 --> 00:05:45,700
Now I have to get him this gift
and I don't know...

94
00:05:45,600 --> 00:05:46,900
Donna!

95
00:05:48,400 --> 00:05:49,900
I've solved it.

96
00:05:50,400 --> 00:05:52,600
Get him a scented candle.

97
00:05:53,200 --> 00:05:54,800
A scented candle?

98
00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:58,200
It's practical and romantic.

99
00:05:58,700 --> 00:05:59,900
Yeah.

100
00:06:02,100 --> 00:06:05,000
Hey!

101
00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:10,800
I have the ball last. I win.
No, you didn't win.

102
00:06:10,700 --> 00:06:12,600
Yes. I had the ball last and...

103
00:06:14,700 --> 00:06:16,400
Holy Mother.

104
00:06:19,500 --> 00:06:21,000
Hello, Laurie.

105
00:06:21,800 --> 00:06:24,000
Hello, Kelso. Hyde.

106
00:06:25,200 --> 00:06:26,600
Who is the goddess?

107
00:06:29,300 --> 00:06:31,500
The goddess is Eric's sister.

108
00:06:31,900 --> 00:06:33,000
She's not a goddess.

109
00:06:32,900 --> 00:06:36,400
She's more the earth mother
whore type, which works for me.

110
00:06:39,700 --> 00:06:41,900
- Laurie.
- Eric.

111
00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:44,900
Shouldn't you put some clothes on?
Why?

112
00:06:44,900 --> 00:06:46,500
Aren't you a little cold?

113
00:06:47,200 --> 00:06:51,000
- No, in fact, I'm hot.
- Then why don't you go upstairs?

114
00:06:52,400 --> 00:06:55,000
I am waiting for my jeans
to come out of the dryer.

115
00:06:54,900 --> 00:06:58,500
And I want you to stay off my case.
It'll only take me a minute.

116
00:06:58,600 --> 00:07:01,100
I don't think Kelso's gonna last that long.

117
00:07:02,400 --> 00:07:05,200
Too bad. It's not like
I'm completely naked under this.

118
00:07:05,400 --> 00:07:07,500
I'm wearing underwear. See?

119
00:07:11,100 --> 00:07:13,400
If we were at the beach,
you wouldn't even notice me.

120
00:07:13,400 --> 00:07:16,500
If we were at the beach,
Kelso would be in the water right now.

121
00:07:20,800 --> 00:07:22,800
So, I understand you have the wagon now.

122
00:07:22,800 --> 00:07:25,200
I want to borrow it tomorrow night.
I need it.

123
00:07:25,100 --> 00:07:28,700
- Okay. But I need a favor.
- For you? I don't think so.

124
00:07:28,600 --> 00:07:29,800
Come on.

125
00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:32,800
Look, just tell Mom
I'm too old for surprise parties.

126
00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:35,700
But you're the baby,
and Mama loves her baby.

127
00:07:36,800 --> 00:07:39,000
If you do it,
you can borrow the Vista Cruiser.

128
00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:40,700
- All night.
- All night?

129
00:07:42,100 --> 00:07:43,100
Fine.

130
00:07:43,500 --> 00:07:45,900
Then, it's a deal, baby.

131
00:08:00,400 --> 00:08:02,300
Your sister wants me.

132
00:08:04,600 --> 00:08:07,000
I mean, you saw her
coming on to me, right?

133
00:08:07,000 --> 00:08:08,400
Let him go.

134
00:08:10,200 --> 00:08:12,900
Remember? I said, "Hello, Laurie."

135
00:08:13,300 --> 00:08:14,600
And Laurie said...

136
00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:16,100
Hello, Kelso.

137
00:08:16,100 --> 00:08:20,000
I'm waiting and I want you. Baby.
Take me now.

138
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:22,700
I need it bad. I need it all night.

139
00:08:22,700 --> 00:08:24,800
And Mama loves her baby.

140
00:08:24,900 --> 00:08:26,500
I'm completely naked under this.

141
00:08:26,500 --> 00:08:28,600
And I'm hot for you, Kelso.

142
00:08:37,800 --> 00:08:38,900
What?

143
00:08:40,300 --> 00:08:41,800
You didn't see it?

144
00:08:45,100 --> 00:08:46,600
Get out of the yard!

145
00:08:50,200 --> 00:08:54,200
So, how's your friend Janice?

146
00:08:55,700 --> 00:08:56,900
Pregnant.

147
00:08:58,000 --> 00:09:01,900
She was such a nice girl.
How does that happen?

148
00:09:02,700 --> 00:09:06,500
First the egg travels
down the fallopian tube to the uterus...

149
00:09:06,300 --> 00:09:07,900
where it attaches to the wall.

150
00:09:07,900 --> 00:09:12,000
Eric, for God's sakes,
that's no language for a woman to hear.

151
00:09:13,800 --> 00:09:16,400
It's okay, Red.
I know what a fallopian tube is.

152
00:09:16,400 --> 00:09:18,000
I think Mom does, too.

153
00:09:19,200 --> 00:09:23,200
I just don't like my little
boy bandying those words about.

154
00:09:23,200 --> 00:09:25,000
You're still my baby.

155
00:09:26,500 --> 00:09:27,900
Thanks, Mom.

156
00:09:28,400 --> 00:09:29,600
Laurie?

157
00:09:31,400 --> 00:09:34,600
Quit staring at your sister
and eat your carrots.

158
00:09:36,700 --> 00:09:40,500
Yeah, Eric wanted me to tell you
that he thinks he's too old for a party.

159
00:09:40,400 --> 00:09:41,500
Keys.

160
00:09:43,400 --> 00:09:45,000
There's no party.

161
00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:47,000
Laurie, loose lips.

162
00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:49,400
Laurie, I just remembered:

163
00:09:49,500 --> 00:09:52,500
I can't loan you the Vista Cruiser
on account of I hate you.

164
00:09:54,100 --> 00:09:58,600
Laurie, you're not driving the Vista
Cruiser. It's old and undependable.

165
00:09:58,400 --> 00:10:02,400
It could break down and you'd be at the
mercy of any maniac who came along.

166
00:10:02,500 --> 00:10:06,100
It's okay for Eric,
but you're taking the Toyota.

167
00:10:08,700 --> 00:10:12,100
And here's $20.

168
00:10:13,800 --> 00:10:15,600
Will that cover gas?

169
00:10:16,900 --> 00:10:20,700
It should. Honey, give her
another $10, just in case.

170
00:10:22,400 --> 00:10:25,400
You know, I could
probably use some gas money.

171
00:10:25,700 --> 00:10:29,900
Yeah, and if a frog had wings, he
wouldn't bump his ass when he hops.

172
00:10:35,900 --> 00:10:37,700
Coming. I'm coming.

173
00:10:40,900 --> 00:10:42,100
Donna?

174
00:10:42,300 --> 00:10:44,300
Donna, it's 3:00 a. m. Are you crazy?

175
00:10:44,300 --> 00:10:47,700
Crazy? Crazy in love with you.

176
00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:52,700
What is it about you that drives me wild
with passion and desire?

177
00:10:53,300 --> 00:10:56,800
I am 17 now.

178
00:10:58,100 --> 00:11:00,000
Shut up, and sit down.

179
00:11:03,300 --> 00:11:05,600
I have to give you your birthday present.

180
00:11:05,900 --> 00:11:07,900
It can't wait any longer.

181
00:11:08,800 --> 00:11:10,400
<i>Close your eyes.</i>

182
00:11:14,600 --> 00:11:18,500
This is my birthday present?
No, that's my nightgown.

183
00:11:18,700 --> 00:11:22,500
I'm your present.
Open your eyes, birthday boy.

184
00:11:22,900 --> 00:11:24,500
Surprise!

185
00:11:27,500 --> 00:11:28,900
Birthday breakfast.

186
00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:32,500
And this is it, young man.
A few gifts tonight, the end.

187
00:11:33,300 --> 00:11:36,600
And it is too late
to change your mind about a party now.

188
00:11:36,500 --> 00:11:40,700
So don't think you're getting one
or you will be sorely disappointed.

189
00:11:44,800 --> 00:11:46,400
Happy birthday.

190
00:11:47,600 --> 00:11:50,900
You know, the lawn's not gonna cut itself.

191
00:11:52,900 --> 00:11:55,200
Thanks, Mom, Dad.

192
00:11:55,700 --> 00:11:57,900
Hey, little brother. Nice tent.

193
00:12:11,900 --> 00:12:14,600
Look, I know what you're all doing here.

194
00:12:15,900 --> 00:12:17,900
What are you talking about, Eric?

195
00:12:18,900 --> 00:12:22,000
We're just hanging out. Like always.
Except we're dressed nice.

196
00:12:21,900 --> 00:12:23,700
But that doesn't mean anything.

197
00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:33,300
Hi, kids. I need your help with something.

198
00:12:33,500 --> 00:12:35,900
<i>Jackie, Donna, Michael, Steven...</i>

199
00:12:36,400 --> 00:12:39,700
<i>young man with an accent,</i>
<i>could you give me a hand?</i>

200
00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:41,300
Not you, Eric.

201
00:12:57,300 --> 00:12:58,900
God, I can't take it.

202
00:13:01,300 --> 00:13:02,300
But I...
No.

203
00:13:02,300 --> 00:13:03,600
No, I...
No.

204
00:13:07,800 --> 00:13:09,800
Eric? Eric, honey.

205
00:13:09,800 --> 00:13:12,300
Honey, could you come up here
for a second?

206
00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:14,000
Shut up. He's coming.

207
00:13:15,900 --> 00:13:17,700
Surprise!

208
00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:22,100
Wow!

209
00:13:22,800 --> 00:13:24,900
I mean, yeah.

210
00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:28,100
It's an eight-track tape player.

211
00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:31,100
- I see that.
- Just what you asked for.

212
00:13:31,100 --> 00:13:33,700
You made such a big deal about it,
I wrote it down.

213
00:13:36,700 --> 00:13:41,000
- Cassettes. Great. Thanks, Hyde.
- You're welcome.

214
00:13:41,200 --> 00:13:43,700
Let's put them in the eight-track
and play them.

215
00:13:46,900 --> 00:13:49,300
It's a hot-shave dispenser.

216
00:13:49,300 --> 00:13:52,400
He won't need that for a long time.

217
00:13:53,100 --> 00:13:57,500
- A long time.
- Of course he will. He's almost like a man.

218
00:14:01,100 --> 00:14:02,800
- I got you something.
- No.

219
00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:06,100
Donna, help me find my purse. Now.

220
00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:11,100
Jackie, you didn't even bring a purse.

221
00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:14,600
You can't give him your present
in front of his guy friends.

222
00:14:14,600 --> 00:14:16,700
I am one of his guy friends.

223
00:14:17,400 --> 00:14:20,800
Look, Donna,
I have put a lot of thought into this gift.

224
00:14:20,800 --> 00:14:23,000
Please do not wreck this for me.

225
00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:26,200
I'm sorry. I guess I was being selfish.

226
00:14:26,700 --> 00:14:28,000
It's okay.

227
00:14:32,800 --> 00:14:35,300
Okay, it's time we disappeared.

228
00:14:35,200 --> 00:14:39,200
- What? Honey, the party just started.
- That's why we're going over to Bob's.

229
00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:42,000
- I wanted to give Eric a party.
- And you did.

230
00:14:42,200 --> 00:14:44,800
You make a mess, you're all grounded.

231
00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:49,800
You darn kids.

232
00:14:50,200 --> 00:14:52,700
You know, what if they
run out of ketchup or something.

233
00:14:52,700 --> 00:14:55,000
Let's go.
Okay. We have more buns...

234
00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:58,400
and sweet pickles if you don't like the dill.

235
00:15:01,900 --> 00:15:04,800
Okay, I'd love to stay, but I'm leaving.

236
00:15:04,800 --> 00:15:07,300
Buy us some beers? We'll pay double.

237
00:15:07,300 --> 00:15:10,800
Do you really think that beer
will make your little party better?

238
00:15:10,900 --> 00:15:12,200
Yes.

239
00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:15,700
I admit it would give
you young people a sense of maturity...

240
00:15:15,600 --> 00:15:18,600
but it would be a false maturity,
and that would be wrong.

241
00:15:18,600 --> 00:15:21,200
- So you're not going to do it?
- Of course not.

242
00:15:21,200 --> 00:15:24,800
Now, I'm going off to join
my legal friends at a party with a keg.

243
00:15:25,100 --> 00:15:26,200
Bye.

244
00:15:28,400 --> 00:15:30,700
So, Laurie...

245
00:15:31,900 --> 00:15:35,500
where's the party?
You know, maybe we'll cruise by later.

246
00:15:37,300 --> 00:15:39,300
In your dreams, you idiot.

247
00:15:42,300 --> 00:15:44,400
Okay, you guys had to see that.

248
00:15:47,700 --> 00:15:49,700
Three fours, I need them.

249
00:15:51,400 --> 00:15:53,800
Bob is very good at Yahtzee.

250
00:15:54,700 --> 00:15:57,200
- The liquor cabinet.
- It's locked.

251
00:15:57,300 --> 00:16:00,900
- What if there's an emergency?
- They'll call.

252
00:16:00,900 --> 00:16:03,200
- What if they run out of chips?
- They'll starve.

253
00:16:03,200 --> 00:16:06,100
I'm gonna fix myself a Tom Collins.

254
00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:07,200
Red?

255
00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:10,700
No, Kitty needs one.
I am just so worried.

256
00:16:10,700 --> 00:16:14,700
- My lord. Laurie's leaving.
- Honey, she's in college.

257
00:16:14,600 --> 00:16:16,500
She doesn't want
to hang around with them.

258
00:16:16,500 --> 00:16:19,600
Maybe I should make a call, just in case...

259
00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:24,100
Kitty, what could happen?

260
00:16:25,300 --> 00:16:26,800
What could happen?

261
00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:32,000
Plenty could happen.

262
00:16:32,900 --> 00:16:34,500
Plenty.

263
00:16:36,300 --> 00:16:40,900
<i>Now that the adults are gone,</i>
<i>we can be as bad as we want.</i>

264
00:16:41,900 --> 00:16:45,200
<i>Who wants to give Eric a venereal disease?</i>

265
00:16:46,800 --> 00:16:49,200
<i>Look. Coasters.</i>

266
00:16:49,300 --> 00:16:51,300
<i>Forget coasters!</i>

267
00:16:52,800 --> 00:16:54,200
<i>Please, fellas...</i>

268
00:16:54,100 --> 00:16:57,100
<i>my mom put out coasters for a reason.</i>

269
00:16:58,500 --> 00:17:02,900
<i>I think I'm gonna</i>
<i>put my drink directly on the furniture.</i>

270
00:17:02,800 --> 00:17:05,700
<i>That way, it will leave a ring.</i>

271
00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:08,400
<i>No!</i>

272
00:17:08,400 --> 00:17:11,900
<i>Why didn't I beg my mother...</i>

273
00:17:11,800 --> 00:17:13,100
<i>to stay?</i>

274
00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:16,200
<i>Quiet, you silly American.</i>

275
00:17:16,300 --> 00:17:18,500
<i>I am making a long distance call...</i>

276
00:17:18,600 --> 00:17:20,500
<i>on your parents'phone.</i>

277
00:17:21,500 --> 00:17:23,200
<i>But that's immoral.</i>

278
00:17:23,600 --> 00:17:25,800
<i>In my country of...</i>

279
00:17:25,900 --> 00:17:28,700
<i>Wherever it is I am from, I can never tell.</i>

280
00:17:29,100 --> 00:17:31,900
<i>Morals get in the way of a good dirty time.</i>

281
00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:34,700
<i>But first, I need to eat some chips.</i>

282
00:17:35,100 --> 00:17:37,400
<i>What? Out of chips?</i>

283
00:17:38,200 --> 00:17:39,900
<i>Now I am mad.</i>

284
00:17:39,900 --> 00:17:41,900
<i>I must shoot something.</i>

285
00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:46,300
<i>Not the littlest hobo!</i>

286
00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:54,000
<i>Why?</i>

287
00:17:54,900 --> 00:17:56,600
You're over-reacting.

288
00:17:57,500 --> 00:18:00,600
Kitty, when Valerie went off to school,
I felt the same way...

289
00:18:00,500 --> 00:18:03,300
but this little book of poems helped me.

290
00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:08,200
It's called<i>, "Verses from an empty nest."</i>

291
00:18:08,700 --> 00:18:11,200
Read her that one
about the little bird that lost its way.

292
00:18:11,200 --> 00:18:12,200
Yeah.

293
00:18:13,300 --> 00:18:15,500
"The little bird that once did sing

294
00:18:15,500 --> 00:18:17,900
"is now alone with broken wing"

295
00:18:17,900 --> 00:18:19,100
God.

296
00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:22,600
Yep, that sounds nice.

297
00:18:23,200 --> 00:18:26,500
- I need a refill.
- But, honey, usually you only drink one.

298
00:18:26,500 --> 00:18:28,500
Tonight I'm having two.

299
00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:33,800
- Wait on the porch, and I'll get Eric.
- It's dark out there.

300
00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:37,000
And you're giving him a candle. Yeah.

301
00:18:38,800 --> 00:18:41,400
- Here, matches.
- He might not want to light it.

302
00:18:41,300 --> 00:18:43,500
Don't say that. Don't even think it.

303
00:18:43,600 --> 00:18:48,300
Now, when he opens it,
he'll say cool or something.

304
00:18:48,200 --> 00:18:50,800
And then you give him a look like this.

305
00:18:56,200 --> 00:18:59,100
- So, what did you get from Donna?
- Nothing, yet.

306
00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:05,000
Maybe it's the big gift.

307
00:19:06,900 --> 00:19:09,400
You know, the really big gift.

308
00:19:12,700 --> 00:19:17,300
You guys know what I'm saying
when I say, "the big gift," right?

309
00:19:17,800 --> 00:19:19,300
Yeah, we got it.

310
00:19:20,500 --> 00:19:21,900
And we got it.

311
00:19:22,600 --> 00:19:25,000
I'm not even from here and I got it.

312
00:19:27,300 --> 00:19:30,300
Eric. Donna's on the porch.

313
00:19:32,200 --> 00:19:34,500
He's getting the big gift!

314
00:19:38,300 --> 00:19:42,800
- A sand candle. This is very cool.
- It's nothing.

315
00:19:56,400 --> 00:20:00,400
- Are you okay?
- I'm fine. Yeah.

316
00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:04,300
'Cause you had a look
like you might be sick or something.

317
00:20:05,300 --> 00:20:07,800
I am just being completely stupid.

318
00:20:08,200 --> 00:20:09,700
That's my job.

319
00:20:11,200 --> 00:20:15,700
- I was worried about the gift.
- Why? This is a very cool gift.

320
00:20:16,600 --> 00:20:19,600
- I'd light it if I had matches.
- Here.

321
00:20:22,600 --> 00:20:24,600
You thought of everything.

322
00:20:24,900 --> 00:20:27,500
Happy birthday.

323
00:20:40,600 --> 00:20:43,400
Look at this.

324
00:20:44,800 --> 00:20:47,100
We never thought to put a candle out here.

325
00:20:47,100 --> 00:20:49,700
It is just so romantic.

326
00:20:49,700 --> 00:20:53,900
Let's keep moving.
There's nothing to see out here.

327
00:20:53,900 --> 00:20:55,800
Thanks, Dad.

328
00:20:55,900 --> 00:20:58,800
We have candles in the bedroom,
don't we?

329
00:21:07,300 --> 00:21:09,200
This is it. He's going for it.

330
00:21:10,300 --> 00:21:14,000
- It's his birthday, she should kiss him first.
- She did last time.

331
00:21:14,000 --> 00:21:17,900
- What?
- Nothing. Shut up and watch.

332
00:21:18,300 --> 00:21:19,900
Come on, Forman, go for it.

333
00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:22,300
The door's open, we can hear you.

334
00:21:25,200 --> 00:21:26,600
We can see you.

335
00:21:28,800 --> 00:21:32,200
Is he kissing her?
None of us can see them, Fez.

336
00:21:32,800 --> 00:21:35,100
Eric, are you kissing her?

9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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