1 00:00:05,310 --> 00:00:09,010 Get your Yankee ass off my property. 2 00:00:10,470 --> 00:00:14,050 Don't care if the bank gave you a deed. 3 00:00:15,730 --> 00:00:19,150 This farm's been kind of land for generations. 4 00:00:20,730 --> 00:00:24,230 Since we beat back them sneaky Japanese. 5 00:00:25,450 --> 00:00:31,370 In the war of 1812, bring our boys home. Hey, man, let me drive that thing. Come 6 00:00:31,370 --> 00:00:32,549 on. Touch the tram. 7 00:00:35,630 --> 00:00:41,410 The tender, juicy, deep -fried pine booby. 8 00:00:42,190 --> 00:00:45,510 There are only a precious few of them left. 9 00:00:45,750 --> 00:00:52,530 And each day, their fragile habitat is compromised by an exciting 10 00:00:52,530 --> 00:00:53,970 new shopping experience. 11 00:00:55,339 --> 00:00:57,160 Pavement Plain Super Mall. 12 00:00:57,360 --> 00:01:02,480 A mall where we sell malls. That's how big it is. Let's see where the booby 13 00:01:02,480 --> 00:01:03,480 then. 14 00:01:06,940 --> 00:01:10,600 So, join the hunt, won't you? 15 00:01:11,240 --> 00:01:15,560 Bag a booby and you will receive a coupon for free zippy rings at the 16 00:01:15,560 --> 00:01:19,600 Engorgerie. But remember, I must have you alive. 17 00:01:20,840 --> 00:01:21,840 Three zippy rings? 18 00:01:22,140 --> 00:01:23,220 Get the dynamite, son. 19 00:01:23,420 --> 00:01:24,700 May the best species win. 20 00:01:25,220 --> 00:01:27,760 Daddy, I think he said he wants him alive. 21 00:01:28,060 --> 00:01:29,060 Oh, fine. 22 00:01:29,100 --> 00:01:30,420 Back me my compound bow. 23 00:01:30,740 --> 00:01:31,740 There you go, Daddy. 24 00:01:32,940 --> 00:01:34,520 Ain't no such a thing as a firefight. 25 00:01:35,440 --> 00:01:38,080 The titanium quills. You trying to cripple me here? 26 00:01:39,820 --> 00:01:40,920 She's beautiful. 27 00:01:41,860 --> 00:01:44,880 Look at that golden, buttery plumage. 28 00:01:45,400 --> 00:01:46,460 Created to perfection. 29 00:01:47,120 --> 00:01:49,400 What a magnificent beast. 30 00:02:00,910 --> 00:02:03,130 Oh, my God. It's mating season. 31 00:02:09,370 --> 00:02:10,370 I'm sorry, 32 00:02:15,750 --> 00:02:17,430 Daddy. She just seemed interested in it all. 33 00:02:18,750 --> 00:02:25,570 We got to get her dancing. Get that blood flowing to her sax parts. 34 00:02:27,290 --> 00:02:28,450 Now we're cooking the game. 35 00:02:28,730 --> 00:02:29,730 Go on, boy. 36 00:02:30,160 --> 00:02:35,420 out there the maiden dance well that must mean there's another oh hell hey 37 00:02:35,420 --> 00:02:39,540 here's your steak on the beach and a butter nipple we say we pound these 38 00:02:39,540 --> 00:02:43,720 and see what happens a little gal get back now don't push it on her she needs 39 00:02:43,720 --> 00:02:48,220 feel like she had a choice in the matter boom the jam's in your paint get to the 40 00:02:48,220 --> 00:02:52,160 middle and come take your taste of the groove and we keep it a real smooth get 41 00:02:52,160 --> 00:02:54,120 on the dance floor and make your ass move 42 00:03:19,280 --> 00:03:21,140 It's a boobie, all right. 43 00:03:23,360 --> 00:03:26,690 Tom! 449, Daddy. Hell, yeah. Bring it. 44 00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:32,290 Where are you going? 45 00:03:32,850 --> 00:03:37,130 Sorry, you just drove past my natural habitat back there? She's right. This 46 00:03:37,130 --> 00:03:39,130 truck is not her natural habitat. 47 00:03:39,490 --> 00:03:40,109 I know. 48 00:03:40,110 --> 00:03:42,770 I'm going to drop her off at old Dan Halen's and get me some of them zippy 49 00:03:42,770 --> 00:03:45,610 rings. No, no. Stop the car. I got to get out here. 50 00:03:49,590 --> 00:03:52,490 Settle down now. Settle down. Daddy, she's crying. 51 00:03:53,240 --> 00:03:55,680 That, too. But the market is what the market is. 52 00:03:56,200 --> 00:03:57,640 I'll do whatever you want. I'll suck you. 53 00:03:57,880 --> 00:04:01,460 You. How about you? I'll suck you. I'm a down, now. I ain't no escape. Is it 54 00:04:01,460 --> 00:04:02,540 zippy rings you guys want? 55 00:04:02,740 --> 00:04:06,040 Because, I mean, I've got money. I'll buy you all the zippy rings you want. 56 00:04:06,040 --> 00:04:10,440 could, too. Says right here, the deep -fried pine booby carries up to, but not 57 00:04:10,440 --> 00:04:12,320 more, than $20 in cash. 58 00:04:12,840 --> 00:04:13,840 Money? 59 00:04:15,060 --> 00:04:16,160 Leafy green is plenty money? 60 00:04:28,520 --> 00:04:29,980 Hang on, son. Hang on. 61 00:04:31,440 --> 00:04:32,520 Fireworks, baby! Woo! 62 00:04:35,720 --> 00:04:37,660 Well, all right. There you go, son. 63 00:04:38,640 --> 00:04:39,640 Woo! 64 00:04:41,840 --> 00:04:42,840 Woo! 65 00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:49,880 Come on, Early. Light it again. Light it again, Daddy. Light it again. Nope. 66 00:04:50,200 --> 00:04:51,420 It's a one -shot, Johnny. 67 00:04:51,760 --> 00:04:53,560 But I do know where we can get some more. 68 00:04:54,680 --> 00:04:57,120 What? Don't look at me. I gave you guys my money. 69 00:04:57,440 --> 00:04:59,640 You bought that sparkler, remember? 70 00:05:00,520 --> 00:05:04,580 Sheriff? Well, I threw all my change in the fire. I got so excited. All right, 71 00:05:04,580 --> 00:05:05,499 then. Wait! 72 00:05:05,500 --> 00:05:06,880 Get me some sippy, Wayne. 73 00:05:07,200 --> 00:05:10,100 Look, look, look! I can help you, son. 74 00:05:10,320 --> 00:05:11,640 Look, I can help you, son. 75 00:05:12,180 --> 00:05:13,180 I'm intrigued. 76 00:05:13,420 --> 00:05:17,160 This better be good, boy. Okay, time is short, so I'm going to be frank. 77 00:05:17,440 --> 00:05:22,840 Your, uh, your complexion is, shall we say, not what it could be. Well, you 78 00:05:22,840 --> 00:05:23,900 know, neither is mine. 79 00:05:24,320 --> 00:05:26,480 Acne? You talking about the acne? Yeah. 80 00:05:26,860 --> 00:05:30,640 But I've got great news for you. I'm here to help. My daddy calls it the 81 00:05:30,640 --> 00:05:35,120 disease. See, my personality has to rise above it. Not any longer. Look deep 82 00:05:35,120 --> 00:05:36,640 into my ass. 83 00:05:39,160 --> 00:05:41,800 That's my boy! Phantom of expulsion! 84 00:05:43,440 --> 00:05:45,720 Daddy, my face! Look at my face, Daddy! 85 00:05:46,860 --> 00:05:50,180 I suddenly feel more socially acceptable. 86 00:05:50,440 --> 00:05:53,080 Like all the shame has drained from my body. 87 00:05:53,540 --> 00:05:55,380 Like suddenly, dating. 88 00:05:55,980 --> 00:05:59,640 It's an option. Ah, that's nothing. It's a revolutionary oxy -base secretion 89 00:05:59,640 --> 00:06:04,540 from the anal glands in my tail. And it's changing the face of faces 90 00:06:04,800 --> 00:06:05,960 Does that mean you a Jew? 91 00:06:07,020 --> 00:06:10,340 I'm a... I'm a bird. Early. Uh, would you be interested in listening to some 92 00:06:10,340 --> 00:06:11,360 my anti -Jew rhetoric? 93 00:06:11,760 --> 00:06:14,160 It's pretty damn crazy, but sure holds a crowd. 94 00:06:14,420 --> 00:06:15,420 Early. Wait. 95 00:06:16,140 --> 00:06:17,360 Let me out of here. 96 00:06:17,600 --> 00:06:18,960 Settle down, Granny. Settle down. 97 00:06:19,180 --> 00:06:20,980 This is a country in the middle of Texas. 98 00:06:21,230 --> 00:06:23,830 Three weekends, but then computers ain't included. 99 00:06:24,310 --> 00:06:27,950 Then I got mad and we started yelling. Then I ripped his throat out, ripped my 100 00:06:27,950 --> 00:06:31,510 teeth, and now he's got a hide in his body. Granny, that which you babble on 101 00:06:31,510 --> 00:06:34,110 makes no damn sense to anybody. I'm scared. 102 00:06:34,470 --> 00:06:38,270 Well, I tell you, I done stabbed that Ukrainian. We got to get her back in the 103 00:06:38,270 --> 00:06:40,690 hole. What if I go now? I'm going to meet him on the other side of town. It 104 00:06:40,690 --> 00:06:42,710 tragedy when the body outlives the mind. 105 00:06:42,950 --> 00:06:44,630 Whoa, that's a serious tumor. 106 00:06:45,360 --> 00:06:49,000 Thank you. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Maybe you should let me take a lick of that. 107 00:06:49,240 --> 00:06:50,740 Oh, I wish you would. 108 00:06:51,060 --> 00:06:53,460 My cornrows just won't hang right. 109 00:06:53,800 --> 00:06:57,600 Uh, how many cups of coffee do you drink a day? Oh, I don't touch that stuff. 110 00:06:57,900 --> 00:07:02,520 I just pop a few Rattlers in the morning and I got enough fuel to last all day. 111 00:07:02,780 --> 00:07:03,780 Trucker man. 112 00:07:04,120 --> 00:07:05,120 Hillbilly health plan. 113 00:07:05,240 --> 00:07:06,139 Oh, interesting. 114 00:07:06,140 --> 00:07:07,620 All right, let's just go ahead and open your mouth. 115 00:07:08,700 --> 00:07:11,740 They are... Feel my spray! 116 00:07:12,220 --> 00:07:14,060 Oh, you son of a bitch! 117 00:07:16,490 --> 00:07:17,490 Well, looky there. 118 00:07:17,550 --> 00:07:18,910 It's finally gone. 119 00:07:20,790 --> 00:07:21,790 Well, 120 00:07:22,450 --> 00:07:23,269 looky there. 121 00:07:23,270 --> 00:07:24,670 It's finally gone. 122 00:07:25,810 --> 00:07:32,330 Look, I should probably tell you guys that I'm not a doctor, per se. Sure, I 123 00:07:32,330 --> 00:07:37,870 secrete a miracle ointment from my anus. I'm not really licensed to distribute. 124 00:07:38,170 --> 00:07:38,809 What the? 125 00:07:38,810 --> 00:07:42,790 My Tony Stewart Nextel Cup Series Collector Edition Beverage Coaster. I 126 00:07:42,790 --> 00:07:44,030 out a damn survey for that. 127 00:07:44,270 --> 00:07:45,870 And now look at the table. Steady as a rock. 128 00:07:46,230 --> 00:07:50,070 Nailed it. And if you ain't right, it's level like Starbucks. This bird is 129 00:07:50,070 --> 00:07:52,070 smart. This bird is dead. 130 00:07:52,390 --> 00:07:54,710 Oh, man. Will you look at that? I think I fattened something. 131 00:07:54,990 --> 00:07:55,990 Oh, that's awful. 132 00:07:56,070 --> 00:07:59,350 A little club soda would take that. Be buttled. 133 00:07:59,890 --> 00:08:00,890 Bamboozled. 134 00:08:02,090 --> 00:08:03,090 Vision returning. 135 00:08:04,970 --> 00:08:06,030 Scout ping -a -lating. 136 00:08:07,730 --> 00:08:08,730 Confidence? 137 00:08:09,180 --> 00:08:12,300 Restoratized! Damn, son, you look ten years younger. 138 00:08:12,700 --> 00:08:15,820 Give me another squirt. All right, I can put them over here. Do the back. 139 00:08:16,080 --> 00:08:19,160 Sure, sure. I don't want to make it look too heavy, though. I want it to feel 140 00:08:19,160 --> 00:08:20,160 like it has body. 141 00:08:22,060 --> 00:08:25,720 Oh, no. There's no time. Don't forget the crown area now. It's so close. Hide 142 00:08:25,720 --> 00:08:28,960 me. I do like the business up front, but we're going to need a little more party 143 00:08:28,960 --> 00:08:31,280 in the back. Don't mess with it. I didn't even need time to set up. 144 00:08:32,740 --> 00:08:34,220 Fly me in closer. 145 00:08:34,890 --> 00:08:36,490 Load the 15 millimeter. 146 00:08:36,890 --> 00:08:38,770 We're taking out the roof. 147 00:08:46,810 --> 00:08:48,090 I know he's here. 148 00:08:48,330 --> 00:08:50,490 He's mine and I want him. 149 00:08:50,810 --> 00:08:53,410 I don't know what you're talking about. I do. 150 00:08:53,610 --> 00:08:56,970 You're talking about the bird, right? I got the bird. Are we keeping it quiet 151 00:08:56,970 --> 00:08:57,809 about the bird? 152 00:08:57,810 --> 00:09:01,690 I'm prepared to upsize your zippy rings to mega largey. 153 00:09:02,010 --> 00:09:03,290 If the bird is alive. 154 00:09:04,030 --> 00:09:07,450 Megalurgy! My sweet bejesus! The bird's down in the dungeon. Early! 155 00:09:07,730 --> 00:09:11,590 Well, I mean, there ain't no bird here, so you best take him zippy reins and 156 00:09:11,590 --> 00:09:12,690 start a -walkin'. Enough. 157 00:09:12,930 --> 00:09:14,310 I know you're here, bird. 158 00:09:14,610 --> 00:09:18,330 Come take a taste of the groove, and we keeping it real smooth. 159 00:09:18,890 --> 00:09:20,030 Get on the dance floor. 160 00:09:20,230 --> 00:09:21,330 Make your booty move. 161 00:09:21,770 --> 00:09:23,050 Come on, everybody! 162 00:09:23,890 --> 00:09:24,890 Oh, God. 163 00:09:25,350 --> 00:09:26,530 Oh. Oh. 164 00:09:39,790 --> 00:09:41,150 And match. Hail it. 165 00:09:41,390 --> 00:09:42,930 What about them zippy rings? 166 00:09:43,470 --> 00:09:44,470 A lie. 167 00:09:48,170 --> 00:09:49,510 Do not spill a drop. 168 00:09:49,710 --> 00:09:51,110 Each one is precious. 169 00:09:51,450 --> 00:09:53,150 No one takes anything out of here. 170 00:09:53,410 --> 00:09:56,890 All right, here's the deal. I'm going to double back from the east and cause a 171 00:09:56,890 --> 00:09:59,270 diversion. Now you two. Early collar. 172 00:10:00,370 --> 00:10:01,370 Oh, hell. 173 00:10:02,410 --> 00:10:05,130 Give it a burn. Or the bird dies. 174 00:10:05,470 --> 00:10:06,469 Go ahead. 175 00:10:06,470 --> 00:10:07,470 Do it. 176 00:10:08,630 --> 00:10:09,630 But I want the bird. 177 00:10:10,939 --> 00:10:12,220 No. The bird is mine. 178 00:10:12,480 --> 00:10:13,439 The bird is mine. 179 00:10:13,440 --> 00:10:15,600 The bird is mine. The bird is mine. 180 00:10:15,820 --> 00:10:18,080 That bird is mine. The bird is mine. 181 00:10:20,020 --> 00:10:24,000 Aw, come on now. Give me the bird. Nope. Sorry. The bird is mine. Let him have 182 00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:26,660 the bird. Yeah, let him have the bird. Yeah, let me have the bird. 183 00:10:26,880 --> 00:10:30,280 No. That bird is ours. The bird is mine. The bird is mine. The bird is mine. 184 00:10:30,300 --> 00:10:33,620 That bird is mine. The bird is mine. The bird is mine. The bird is mine. The 185 00:10:33,620 --> 00:10:34,700 bird is mine. No. 186 00:10:35,160 --> 00:10:36,200 The bird is mine. 187 00:10:37,600 --> 00:10:38,880 Shut down the decoy, Ray. 188 00:10:39,560 --> 00:10:40,560 Oh, Ray. 189 00:10:40,760 --> 00:10:44,580 Dude, thank God. Yeah, go ahead and shut down that decoy. 190 00:10:45,080 --> 00:10:51,520 Deep decoy. That's a word I've never... The bird is a robot. I should have 191 00:10:51,520 --> 00:10:54,140 known. They're highly intelligent, you know. Thanks. 192 00:10:54,380 --> 00:10:57,460 We're not as smart as dolphins, but we work our asses off. 193 00:10:58,000 --> 00:10:59,000 Linus, on time. 194 00:10:59,260 --> 00:11:00,700 Deal? Ignite the factory. 195 00:11:01,420 --> 00:11:03,000 Come on, grab the jam box. 196 00:11:06,900 --> 00:11:07,900 There you go. 197 00:11:07,950 --> 00:11:09,210 That track is hot. 198 00:11:09,510 --> 00:11:10,990 You'll never get away with this. 199 00:11:12,430 --> 00:11:13,530 Oh, yeah, we will. 200 00:11:15,110 --> 00:11:16,490 Damn it, they will. 201 00:11:16,970 --> 00:11:20,670 And we keep it real smooth. Get on the dance floor and make your ass move. 202 00:11:20,930 --> 00:11:24,830 Gonna shake that butt till it claps. I wanna give it a slap, a clap in it, 203 00:11:24,910 --> 00:11:29,710 clap. Audience, what's this song about? Is that fresh enough? You gotta get 204 00:11:29,710 --> 00:11:36,310 on the floor and shake that butt till it claps.