1 00:00:04,730 --> 00:00:08,850 I gave all my best years to that woman. 2 00:00:10,250 --> 00:00:13,770 All she gave me was masterpiece. 3 00:00:15,430 --> 00:00:19,570 A miracle straight from the launch of Jesus. 4 00:00:20,810 --> 00:00:24,850 Since Charlie blew off both my terrapins. 5 00:00:25,650 --> 00:00:31,610 1969, Cameron Bay. Come on. 6 00:00:32,150 --> 00:00:33,150 The tram. 7 00:00:37,490 --> 00:00:40,710 The deepest backwards butt crack of Georgia. 8 00:00:41,970 --> 00:00:45,850 Pristine and untouched by sexual perversion. 9 00:00:46,570 --> 00:00:51,170 But today, a horny wolf sniffs at the hen house. 10 00:00:51,830 --> 00:00:54,110 Hey, anybody home? 11 00:00:54,510 --> 00:00:56,310 Sexy Bay 13, you here? 12 00:01:01,200 --> 00:01:02,200 Oh, you wet yourself. 13 00:01:02,440 --> 00:01:05,720 Well, next time you wet yourself, it's going to be with bubblegum wine coolers. 14 00:01:05,800 --> 00:01:06,800 How do you like that? 15 00:01:07,040 --> 00:01:10,020 This man flew across four continents to be here. 16 00:01:10,260 --> 00:01:13,100 Now watch how he makes himself at home. 17 00:01:13,340 --> 00:01:14,660 Did you make these animal crackers? 18 00:01:15,020 --> 00:01:15,919 They're good. 19 00:01:15,920 --> 00:01:17,520 I'm a big girl now. 20 00:01:17,920 --> 00:01:21,420 I'm going to go ahead and take my pants off. I'll show you that wrestling move I 21 00:01:21,420 --> 00:01:24,240 was telling you about. I wouldn't mind seeing that wrestling move. 22 00:01:24,750 --> 00:01:27,890 Where are you going? I just want to ask you a few questions. I don't do this. 23 00:01:28,370 --> 00:01:32,510 There's no reason to be afraid. I don't do this, and I... Mind telling me where 24 00:01:32,510 --> 00:01:33,710 your pants are? 25 00:01:34,190 --> 00:01:35,790 Well, where are your pants? 26 00:01:37,490 --> 00:01:38,490 Damn it, tot! 27 00:01:38,750 --> 00:01:45,350 Now, in your online chat with SexyBait13, she told you... I wet 28 00:01:45,350 --> 00:01:51,940 myself. To which you replied... cool your parents away, she answered, I'm a 29 00:01:51,940 --> 00:01:52,940 girl now. 30 00:01:53,040 --> 00:01:54,120 She said she was 60. 31 00:01:54,620 --> 00:02:00,860 You responded by emailing her an animated gif of your engorged to 32 00:02:00,860 --> 00:02:01,860 not here right now. 33 00:02:01,900 --> 00:02:03,000 Where are you going? 34 00:02:03,460 --> 00:02:05,480 You can't evade justice. 35 00:02:06,180 --> 00:02:07,480 Oh, no, no. 36 00:02:08,699 --> 00:02:10,000 I see it. 37 00:02:10,430 --> 00:02:14,730 You have the right to remain silent on TV, HD, DVD, minidisc, Blu -ray, CB 38 00:02:14,730 --> 00:02:19,170 radio, and satellite audio throughout the universe in perpetuity. But I was 39 00:02:19,170 --> 00:02:20,170 here to mentor. 40 00:02:20,230 --> 00:02:25,990 I just wanted to counsel her on the dangers of being with me and having sex 41 00:02:25,990 --> 00:02:26,990 me. 42 00:02:27,250 --> 00:02:28,650 Well, that sounds like the truth. 43 00:02:29,130 --> 00:02:30,129 Yeah, fine. 44 00:02:30,130 --> 00:02:31,089 Let him go. 45 00:02:31,090 --> 00:02:34,270 You're free to go now. Thank you. We'll need him for the sequel anyway. 46 00:02:34,510 --> 00:02:35,189 Stay in school! 47 00:02:35,190 --> 00:02:36,190 Stay out of drugs! 48 00:02:36,380 --> 00:02:40,140 Tell your pervert friends where all the hottest, eager tweens live. 49 00:02:40,360 --> 00:02:43,260 You think they'll figure out it's just a full -string doll? 50 00:02:43,460 --> 00:02:50,440 Please. No deviant mind could ever resist the sexy, wild Sexy Mate 51 00:02:50,440 --> 00:02:51,440 13. 52 00:02:51,960 --> 00:02:53,820 I'm a big girl. 53 00:02:54,360 --> 00:02:57,380 No, my plastic -molded temptress. 54 00:02:57,780 --> 00:02:59,860 I gotta come in and check this wild sheep down. 55 00:03:00,380 --> 00:03:03,640 Four. Next on Check This Wild Sheep Down Four. 56 00:03:04,410 --> 00:03:09,750 Watch as the postman tries to deliver a package of mail. 57 00:03:10,750 --> 00:03:12,750 Bell, M -A -L -E. 58 00:03:13,570 --> 00:03:16,030 Uh, actually, no package. 59 00:03:16,350 --> 00:03:17,830 Just a couple bills, really. 60 00:03:25,130 --> 00:03:27,370 God! Jump the shark! 61 00:03:29,570 --> 00:03:30,570 Secretary 13? 62 00:03:31,430 --> 00:03:32,670 Chad, you in there? 63 00:03:33,080 --> 00:03:34,080 I'm here, honey. 64 00:03:34,280 --> 00:03:36,980 I baked some muffins like a good boy should. 65 00:03:37,480 --> 00:03:38,480 Are you alone? 66 00:03:38,680 --> 00:03:39,780 It's just me. 67 00:03:40,420 --> 00:03:43,660 Because I'd hate to blow it like last time. 68 00:03:44,120 --> 00:03:49,020 Hey, let's put cough drops in our buttholes and play video games. 69 00:03:49,380 --> 00:03:53,160 Uh, you're still a boy now, right? 70 00:03:53,460 --> 00:03:56,020 Snakes and snails and puppy dog tails. 71 00:03:56,440 --> 00:03:57,440 And moles. 72 00:03:58,220 --> 00:04:00,120 I got a lot of moles. 73 00:04:00,760 --> 00:04:01,760 You know what? 74 00:04:02,340 --> 00:04:06,000 I'm gonna go. Wait. It feels dirty. Wait, hold on. I'm gonna call my wife. 75 00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:08,560 Thank you. Hey, text me, dog. 76 00:04:09,080 --> 00:04:11,040 Hollaback. Don't forget to hollaback. 77 00:04:11,280 --> 00:04:13,980 Oh, this bait reeks of mentholiptic. 78 00:04:14,180 --> 00:04:20,399 It's the long joints for my gout. We need someone with wiles. I got a 79 00:04:20,399 --> 00:04:25,920 wily case of gout. It's not the same. We need someone with boyish charm and 80 00:04:25,920 --> 00:04:27,380 cunning. I'll do that. 81 00:04:27,880 --> 00:04:29,120 Drag her from my sight. 82 00:04:33,720 --> 00:04:37,660 I don't think... Shut up and eat your slits, huh? Hey there, Glenn, where's 83 00:04:37,660 --> 00:04:38,359 boy at? 84 00:04:38,360 --> 00:04:44,660 Yeah, we're gonna keep Kyle at an undisclosed location till all this is 85 00:04:45,440 --> 00:04:51,960 Oh, well, that's too... That hurt. 86 00:04:52,800 --> 00:04:54,100 And that's your job, Daddy? 87 00:04:55,120 --> 00:04:59,300 Glenn and me, we will meet periodically throughout the day. 88 00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:01,400 Unless I'm buried. 89 00:05:01,920 --> 00:05:04,400 You know, drawing Dale Jr.'s number all over them post -it notes. 90 00:05:04,880 --> 00:05:06,820 Well, Piper works part of the job. 91 00:05:15,080 --> 00:05:20,960 Whitehead, twinkling like stars against a darkened sky of clogged pores. 92 00:05:22,620 --> 00:05:28,120 Butt -cut hairdo, feathered as the spread wings of Gabriel himself. 93 00:05:30,130 --> 00:05:31,370 Pewter arrowhead. 94 00:05:31,770 --> 00:05:33,150 Kick -ass, it says. 95 00:05:33,870 --> 00:05:35,830 Kick -ass, it does. 96 00:05:38,370 --> 00:05:40,450 What in the hell are you staring at? 97 00:05:40,690 --> 00:05:45,250 Tell me, Rusty. Are you familiar with the lifestyles of the ancient Greeks? 98 00:05:45,990 --> 00:05:50,210 Ain't nobody gonna use my son's temptations for a while for no damn 99 00:05:50,210 --> 00:05:54,210 show. You know that television means TV, don't you? 100 00:05:55,560 --> 00:05:57,280 Oh, the TV lucky box. 101 00:05:57,580 --> 00:05:58,700 With the wrestling in there? 102 00:05:59,480 --> 00:06:03,280 Well, now, it do make sense when you think on it. Hell, yeah. But, Eddie, I 103 00:06:03,280 --> 00:06:07,080 don't think it's... I'm the thinker. And I think we got us a deal. 104 00:06:08,100 --> 00:06:09,100 Bonifacient! 105 00:06:13,680 --> 00:06:18,700 Rusty, radiant in your perfection, reveal yourself to me. 106 00:06:19,940 --> 00:06:22,420 These shorts are pretty tight. 107 00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:24,540 Kind of riding high, aren't they? 108 00:06:24,860 --> 00:06:28,960 Sometimes, son, to be a man, you got to be a boy. 109 00:06:30,220 --> 00:06:31,440 Here's your chance, Rusty. 110 00:06:33,140 --> 00:06:35,960 Shine, you stunning boy animal. 111 00:06:36,440 --> 00:06:42,360 Hey, sexy babe 13, you in there? Come, just have fun with it. Monster hat. 112 00:06:42,660 --> 00:06:48,880 Well, come on in now. I'm just oiling up my tricycle chain here and, you know, 113 00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:50,360 doing some little boy stuff. 114 00:06:50,840 --> 00:06:52,540 Well played, Rusty. 115 00:06:52,920 --> 00:06:54,160 Well played. 116 00:06:54,700 --> 00:06:56,260 I did it sexier. 117 00:06:56,560 --> 00:07:00,240 Now have you some nachos? I'm going in there to get my choo -choo set. Nachos? 118 00:07:00,260 --> 00:07:02,420 There are no nachos here, but brilliant. 119 00:07:03,240 --> 00:07:04,820 Where are those nachos now? 120 00:07:05,080 --> 00:07:06,220 He's drawing him in. 121 00:07:06,460 --> 00:07:09,760 Got a new caboose I want you to see. Where are the nachos? And the betrayal. 122 00:07:09,820 --> 00:07:11,680 Damn it, I knew this house looked familiar. 123 00:07:12,940 --> 00:07:14,400 Will I ever find love? 124 00:07:16,020 --> 00:07:19,920 Everyone has a talent, a gift, something that makes them special. 125 00:07:20,400 --> 00:07:24,680 And for Rusty, that special something was the ability to attract deviant 126 00:07:24,680 --> 00:07:25,680 pedophiles. 127 00:07:26,820 --> 00:07:32,660 And so he picked the town's economy up and carried it on his slender boyish 128 00:07:32,660 --> 00:07:33,660 hips. 129 00:07:51,400 --> 00:07:52,400 hard lemonade. 130 00:07:52,600 --> 00:07:54,980 Hell, I ain't drinking no hooch from a sissy city box. 131 00:07:55,280 --> 00:07:56,780 This ain't even worth stealing. 132 00:07:57,160 --> 00:08:00,480 Uh, sure. I don't sell them adult goods no more. 133 00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:02,880 New clientele just don't want them. 134 00:08:03,480 --> 00:08:04,480 Well, hell. 135 00:08:04,900 --> 00:08:11,060 Yeah. All right, I guess I'll have me a teddy bar and one of them mega cookies 136 00:08:11,060 --> 00:08:15,240 and how about some of them candy handcuffs over there? Okie dokie. Let's 137 00:08:15,240 --> 00:08:19,460 here. Let's see what he wants. You want the Goofy Grape or the Only You 138 00:08:19,460 --> 00:08:20,460 Delicious? 139 00:08:20,800 --> 00:08:21,960 I think I went with the money. 140 00:08:23,180 --> 00:08:24,180 Yes, you did. 141 00:08:24,280 --> 00:08:25,280 Yes, I did. 142 00:08:35,980 --> 00:08:37,820 You can't escape justice. 143 00:08:38,799 --> 00:08:39,799 Number 43. 144 00:08:40,179 --> 00:08:41,179 Hey, that's me. 145 00:08:41,880 --> 00:08:46,920 Please have your shirt unbuttoned before reaching the house. We have lots of 146 00:08:46,920 --> 00:08:49,460 unsuspecting perverts to humiliate here today. 147 00:08:49,980 --> 00:08:55,200 I'll tell you, Early, that boy is a real economic godsend. You see that new 148 00:08:55,200 --> 00:08:56,200 police car of mine? 149 00:08:56,920 --> 00:08:57,920 Google him. 150 00:08:58,060 --> 00:09:02,620 Those Rebs, they're a real virgin ivory, too. They're from Africa, wherever that 151 00:09:02,620 --> 00:09:06,620 is. I should care, but I'm just so detached. 152 00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:10,100 Number 44, number 44. 153 00:09:11,700 --> 00:09:16,160 But the economic boom came at a heavy, heavy cost. 154 00:09:20,490 --> 00:09:21,490 a damn circus peanut? 155 00:09:21,730 --> 00:09:25,790 That ain't no circus peanut. That ain't no orange coloring. I'm so sorry. 156 00:09:25,990 --> 00:09:28,350 Somebody orange up these circus peanuts. 157 00:09:28,730 --> 00:09:33,150 Rusty, Rusty, Rusty. Pick me, Rusty. Pick me. Hey, I'm your mama. 158 00:09:33,490 --> 00:09:34,329 Wait your turn. 159 00:09:34,330 --> 00:09:35,350 Hey, hey. 160 00:09:36,090 --> 00:09:39,390 Look, Rusty. A singing plug. 161 00:09:39,830 --> 00:09:42,770 Here we go. Now, hey, everybody. 162 00:09:43,130 --> 00:09:44,410 I'm here to say. 163 00:09:44,880 --> 00:09:48,040 That Rusty is a special guy in every way. 164 00:09:48,280 --> 00:09:51,620 How perfect, Rusty. You adore her now. 165 00:09:52,060 --> 00:09:53,060 Whatever, man. 166 00:09:53,100 --> 00:09:54,740 I deserve that, Rusty. 167 00:09:56,060 --> 00:09:58,380 What are you thinking? Happy birthday or whatever. 168 00:09:58,720 --> 00:10:01,540 Rusty, Rusty, Rusty, Rusty, pick me. 169 00:10:01,940 --> 00:10:04,920 All right, look here. Now, y 'all is just going to have to chill for a few 170 00:10:04,920 --> 00:10:08,660 hours, you know, because I need me a radical sabbatical, baby. 171 00:10:08,920 --> 00:10:12,460 Now, I'll come back and y 'all can adore me then, but right now, I can't. 172 00:10:13,390 --> 00:10:14,390 Yeah, I'm suffering. 173 00:10:16,510 --> 00:10:17,469 Excuse me. 174 00:10:17,470 --> 00:10:22,950 Excuse me. I'm suffering from extreme exasperation and dehydrogenation. Roxy, 175 00:10:22,950 --> 00:10:24,510 God. Your face. 176 00:10:25,130 --> 00:10:29,830 Heal your upper lip. No, no, no. I'm changing, see? And I want my fans to 177 00:10:29,830 --> 00:10:31,310 with me as I grow and evolve. 178 00:10:31,870 --> 00:10:36,170 Y 'all go come with me now. All right, now. Who's with me? Come on now. 179 00:10:43,180 --> 00:10:44,180 Come on, quickly. 180 00:10:44,280 --> 00:10:47,180 Eat this paint chip, drink this coffee, smoke these cigarettes, stunt your 181 00:10:47,180 --> 00:10:50,400 grooves. Hey, wait, wait, y 'all. Hey, now, don't run off. 182 00:10:50,760 --> 00:10:53,600 Hey, you know you won't like it if you haven't even tried it yet. 183 00:10:54,360 --> 00:10:57,260 I'm out of here. Hey, where in the hell you think you're going? 184 00:10:57,560 --> 00:11:00,060 Wherever my damn fine ass feels like. 185 00:11:01,240 --> 00:11:05,240 I hate to see him leave, but I love to watch him go. 186 00:11:05,520 --> 00:11:08,840 Oh, hey, don't pay him no mind. There's more young 'uns where he come from. 187 00:11:09,100 --> 00:11:10,200 Hey, look at this one here. 188 00:11:11,420 --> 00:11:17,460 Little teapot short and... Oh, it broke my... Theater trained. 189 00:11:18,280 --> 00:11:19,640 Call in the airstrike. 190 00:11:19,960 --> 00:11:22,320 I want scorched earth. Nothing lives. 191 00:11:24,640 --> 00:11:25,740 I have what?