1 00:00:00,130 --> 00:00:02,133 - ♪ - [AUDIENCE CLAPPING] 2 00:00:05,877 --> 00:00:07,052 NADJA: Business is 3 00:00:07,096 --> 00:00:09,142 booming at the nightclub, baby! 4 00:00:09,186 --> 00:00:10,535 Cheers. 5 00:00:10,578 --> 00:00:12,190 ♪ Let's face the music ♪ 6 00:00:12,233 --> 00:00:13,931 ♪ And dance... ♪ 7 00:00:13,975 --> 00:00:15,716 NADJA: That little tap-dancing freak that clawed 8 00:00:15,759 --> 00:00:17,066 its way out of the abdominal cavity 9 00:00:17,110 --> 00:00:18,372 of dead Colin Robinson 10 00:00:18,415 --> 00:00:20,201 is causing such a buzz. 11 00:00:20,244 --> 00:00:23,727 We are pulling in capacity crowds of vampires 12 00:00:23,770 --> 00:00:25,598 and humans night after night. 13 00:00:25,642 --> 00:00:27,427 The only real problem, apart from 14 00:00:27,471 --> 00:00:29,648 the blood sprinklers clogging yet again, 15 00:00:29,691 --> 00:00:31,389 is the fucking employees. 16 00:00:31,432 --> 00:00:33,218 How many of our patrons have died 17 00:00:33,261 --> 00:00:36,048 in wraith-related accidents in the last week alone? 18 00:00:36,091 --> 00:00:37,962 - Five. - What? Five?! 19 00:00:38,006 --> 00:00:39,182 [GRUNTS] 20 00:00:40,575 --> 00:00:42,143 [SCREAMING] 21 00:00:42,186 --> 00:00:43,361 But, you know, four of them were human. 22 00:00:43,405 --> 00:00:45,843 Yeah, okay, that's not so bad then. 23 00:00:45,886 --> 00:00:48,412 But still, what is going on with these wraiths? 24 00:00:48,455 --> 00:00:51,111 Maybe they are having issues with how 25 00:00:51,155 --> 00:00:52,678 they're being treated. 26 00:00:52,721 --> 00:00:54,159 I gave them jobs. I'd say that's 27 00:00:54,202 --> 00:00:56,465 - pretty bloody good treatment. - Yes, but you do 28 00:00:56,509 --> 00:00:58,555 make them sleep in the supply closet. 29 00:00:58,599 --> 00:01:00,167 Well, it is better than sleeping in the street. 30 00:01:00,210 --> 00:01:02,212 You can remind them of that. 31 00:01:02,256 --> 00:01:04,215 Maybe if you just listened to them 32 00:01:04,259 --> 00:01:07,219 and heard them out... their concerns, you know, and... 33 00:01:07,263 --> 00:01:09,614 Hold it, hold it. 34 00:01:09,657 --> 00:01:11,137 Are they intentionally underperforming 35 00:01:11,181 --> 00:01:12,400 in order to get their way? 36 00:01:12,444 --> 00:01:14,054 You know, it does seem like they've organized 37 00:01:14,098 --> 00:01:15,622 some sort of labor action. 38 00:01:15,665 --> 00:01:18,713 - This I know how to handle. - Ah. 39 00:01:18,756 --> 00:01:20,845 Kill them all. 40 00:01:20,889 --> 00:01:23,110 ["YOU'RE DEAD" BY NORMA TANEGA PLAYING] 41 00:01:23,153 --> 00:01:25,635 ♪ Don't sing if you want to live long ♪ 42 00:01:25,678 --> 00:01:28,117 ♪ They have no use for your song ♪ 43 00:01:28,160 --> 00:01:30,598 ♪ You're dead, you're dead, you're dead ♪ 44 00:01:30,642 --> 00:01:33,123 ♪ You're dead and out of this world ♪ 45 00:01:35,256 --> 00:01:38,347 ♪ Now your hope and compassion is gone ♪ 46 00:01:38,391 --> 00:01:41,003 ♪ You sold out your dream to the world ♪ 47 00:01:41,046 --> 00:01:43,311 ♪ Stay dead, stay dead, stay dead ♪ 48 00:01:43,354 --> 00:01:45,749 ♪ You're dead and out of this world. ♪ 49 00:01:45,792 --> 00:01:47,272 ♪ 50 00:01:56,850 --> 00:01:59,593 ♪ One, two, three, four. ♪ 51 00:01:59,636 --> 00:02:03,250 ♪ There may be trouble ahead ♪ 52 00:02:03,293 --> 00:02:05,601 - Come on. - ♪ But while there's music ♪ 53 00:02:05,644 --> 00:02:07,908 ♪ And moonlight and... ♪ 54 00:02:07,952 --> 00:02:10,347 Uh, I-I forgot the words, Lazlo. [LAUGHS] 55 00:02:10,390 --> 00:02:11,870 What is this tomfoolery? 56 00:02:11,913 --> 00:02:14,308 This is a rehearsal for you, not for me. 57 00:02:14,352 --> 00:02:15,309 But, Lazzo, guess what? 58 00:02:15,353 --> 00:02:17,138 - You're tired. - I'm tired. 59 00:02:17,182 --> 00:02:19,272 I-I'm at a really good part of my book and I... 60 00:02:19,315 --> 00:02:20,447 Not the fucking book again. Give it to me. 61 00:02:20,490 --> 00:02:21,883 I-I don't have it. 62 00:02:21,926 --> 00:02:23,668 - Yes, you do, boy. - [SIGHS] 63 00:02:23,712 --> 00:02:25,541 You've tucked it in the back of your trouser. 64 00:02:25,584 --> 00:02:27,586 - Give it to me. - Fine. 65 00:02:27,630 --> 00:02:30,242 Fairy tales? This is bullshit. 66 00:02:30,286 --> 00:02:32,724 And highly inaccurate. "Little Red Riding Hood"? 67 00:02:32,767 --> 00:02:34,335 You know, that's a tale about a gruesome, 68 00:02:34,379 --> 00:02:36,337 unsolved child abduction. 69 00:02:36,381 --> 00:02:38,210 That's not true. I don't believe you. 70 00:02:38,253 --> 00:02:39,385 Really? You're an expert, are you? 71 00:02:39,428 --> 00:02:41,736 What about this one, "Rumpelstiltskin"? 72 00:02:41,779 --> 00:02:43,608 "Rumpled dick skin," more like. 73 00:02:43,652 --> 00:02:45,393 You know that's how he got his name, this chap? 74 00:02:45,436 --> 00:02:48,310 - Doesn't say that in the book. - What's "dick skin"? 75 00:02:48,353 --> 00:02:50,487 What is dick skin? That's a bloody good question. 76 00:02:50,530 --> 00:02:52,707 And not one that you should be asking. 77 00:02:52,751 --> 00:02:55,232 Let's get on with the last song. 78 00:02:55,275 --> 00:02:58,148 So you will be meeting with Xerxes. 79 00:02:58,192 --> 00:03:01,065 Okay? He's the one that they've elected leader. 80 00:03:01,109 --> 00:03:02,546 - Oh! - And here he is. May I present Xerxes. 81 00:03:02,590 --> 00:03:05,028 Hello, X... rexes. 82 00:03:05,071 --> 00:03:07,945 Xerxes, why don't you start? 83 00:03:07,988 --> 00:03:10,730 He says, "Thank you for taking the time 84 00:03:10,774 --> 00:03:12,429 to work through these issues." 85 00:03:12,472 --> 00:03:14,083 Very good. Oh. 86 00:03:14,127 --> 00:03:16,825 "We have a list of demands to be addressed." 87 00:03:16,869 --> 00:03:19,568 - Fine. - "Number one. 88 00:03:19,612 --> 00:03:22,006 "We require more than one break 89 00:03:22,050 --> 00:03:24,009 "a day so that we may haunt 90 00:03:24,053 --> 00:03:26,011 the descendants of our transgressors." 91 00:03:26,055 --> 00:03:28,232 We would all like to have more time for our hobbies. 92 00:03:28,276 --> 00:03:30,670 [CLEARS THROAT] "Number two. 93 00:03:30,714 --> 00:03:33,892 "We will not be blamed for all phantom smells at work. 94 00:03:33,935 --> 00:03:37,244 "This is an old building with old pipes, and the smells 95 00:03:37,288 --> 00:03:39,465 emanating therefrom are out of our control." 96 00:03:39,508 --> 00:03:40,857 Okay! Enough! 97 00:03:40,901 --> 00:03:43,557 I have given you and your weird faceless friends 98 00:03:43,600 --> 00:03:46,430 a job and a lovely, warm supply closet to sleep in. 99 00:03:46,474 --> 00:03:49,347 Without me, you would have nothing. 100 00:03:49,391 --> 00:03:50,697 Goodbye. Gamísou. 101 00:03:50,741 --> 00:03:53,352 I don't have time for this skatá. [HISSES] 102 00:03:53,396 --> 00:03:56,661 Mm. "That went well." 103 00:03:56,704 --> 00:03:58,620 Think that's supposed to be a joke. 104 00:03:58,664 --> 00:04:01,450 Wraiths aren't really known for their sense of humor. 105 00:04:01,494 --> 00:04:04,802 - [MUTTERING] - "'Twas upon the fourth year of the Nine Years' War 106 00:04:04,846 --> 00:04:07,589 "that the battles of Barfleur and La Hogue 107 00:04:07,632 --> 00:04:09,505 tested the will of His Majesty's fleet..." 108 00:04:09,548 --> 00:04:11,507 Can we please read one of my books? 109 00:04:11,550 --> 00:04:12,857 - Absolutely not. - Please? 110 00:04:12,900 --> 00:04:14,728 Real books about real people 111 00:04:14,772 --> 00:04:16,557 concerning real things that happened. 112 00:04:16,601 --> 00:04:19,039 Oh, Laszlo, just read him some of that baby bullshit 113 00:04:19,082 --> 00:04:20,475 - he likes so much. - Yeah, maybe the one 114 00:04:20,519 --> 00:04:22,652 about the elves and the shoemaker. 115 00:04:22,696 --> 00:04:24,481 All right. I'll tell you the real story. 116 00:04:24,525 --> 00:04:26,962 Some third-rate cobbler ripped to the tits 117 00:04:27,005 --> 00:04:30,489 on formaldehyde fumes used in his leather tanning process 118 00:04:30,533 --> 00:04:33,187 imagines he's seeing little elves do all his work. 119 00:04:33,231 --> 00:04:34,494 Loses his business, kills himself. 120 00:04:34,538 --> 00:04:35,756 The end. 121 00:04:35,800 --> 00:04:37,716 [GASPS] Aha! Yes! 122 00:04:37,759 --> 00:04:39,762 This will do very nicely. 123 00:04:39,806 --> 00:04:43,158 Everyone! We're going to the night market! 124 00:04:43,201 --> 00:04:45,944 A night market actually exists in every single town. 125 00:04:45,988 --> 00:04:49,471 But it is always hidden from the prying, pathetic eyes of humans. 126 00:04:49,514 --> 00:04:51,647 NANDOR: The night market is a bit like 127 00:04:51,691 --> 00:04:53,954 the famous Italian street fairs 128 00:04:53,998 --> 00:04:55,435 of Little Italy. 129 00:04:55,479 --> 00:04:56,871 Very diverse. 130 00:04:56,915 --> 00:04:59,614 Lots of different cultures represented. 131 00:04:59,658 --> 00:05:01,443 Sticky shit all over the ground. 132 00:05:01,487 --> 00:05:05,709 And a good place to pillage or barter tchotchkes. 133 00:05:05,753 --> 00:05:08,409 It is truly the only place where we can set aside our differences 134 00:05:08,452 --> 00:05:10,542 and work towards a common goal: 135 00:05:10,586 --> 00:05:13,503 to fuck the other guy before he fucks you! [LAUGHS] 136 00:05:13,546 --> 00:05:15,505 - It's just a work thing. I'll call you after. I love... - MAN: Okay. 137 00:05:15,548 --> 00:05:18,509 What do you require from the night market, my darling? 138 00:05:18,552 --> 00:05:20,425 Oh, you know, just a special little something 139 00:05:20,468 --> 00:05:22,602 to help try and solve my wraith labor problem. 140 00:05:22,645 --> 00:05:24,212 Will it be safe for someone like me to go? 141 00:05:24,255 --> 00:05:26,650 - Meaning as a human? - I don't care. 142 00:05:26,694 --> 00:05:28,130 - Yeah, do not worry, Guillermo. - NADJA: Hurry up. 143 00:05:28,173 --> 00:05:30,263 If anyone asks, just say you're an orc or some shit. 144 00:05:30,307 --> 00:05:31,788 Well, I don't look like an orc. 145 00:05:32,745 --> 00:05:34,225 - Do I? - Mm. 146 00:05:34,268 --> 00:05:36,576 You could pass. 147 00:05:36,620 --> 00:05:39,493 I am very excited for this trip as well. 148 00:05:39,537 --> 00:05:40,713 Even though we live in the same house, 149 00:05:40,756 --> 00:05:43,673 it's so rare that Nandor asks me along 150 00:05:43,717 --> 00:05:45,588 when he has an outing with his friends, so... 151 00:05:45,632 --> 00:05:48,810 You know what? I changed my mind. 152 00:05:48,853 --> 00:05:51,814 - Nice work. - I think I'd rather just stay home. 153 00:05:51,857 --> 00:05:55,601 Oh, no. Marwa, this is a big fat bummer I am hearing. 154 00:05:55,645 --> 00:05:56,864 But, okay, fine. I miss you already. 155 00:05:56,908 --> 00:05:58,867 - Bye. - Come on. 156 00:05:58,911 --> 00:06:00,913 NANDOR: Of course Marwa is my one true love. 157 00:06:00,956 --> 00:06:03,873 But she's always hanging around. 158 00:06:03,917 --> 00:06:07,312 Sometimes it's just more fun to hang with just the boys. 159 00:06:10,926 --> 00:06:12,711 [CHIMING] 160 00:06:12,755 --> 00:06:14,540 Yes. This is the one that goes to the night market. 161 00:06:14,584 --> 00:06:16,150 - Come on. Come. - LASZLO: Come on, boy. - COLIN: I'm going. 162 00:06:16,194 --> 00:06:17,936 - Quickly, quickly. - Are you sure about this? This looks like 163 00:06:17,979 --> 00:06:20,417 a regular train full of normal people. 164 00:06:20,461 --> 00:06:22,594 How dare you question me. [SPITS] 165 00:06:22,637 --> 00:06:25,119 [MAN COUGHS] 166 00:06:25,162 --> 00:06:27,426 Ah. Attention, ladies and gentlemen! 167 00:06:27,470 --> 00:06:30,256 If I could just have a few moments of your time. 168 00:06:30,300 --> 00:06:32,564 I'm trying to raise money for my Uncle Jeffrey. 169 00:06:32,608 --> 00:06:33,826 He needs a new heart. 170 00:06:33,870 --> 00:06:36,569 So please enjoy this performance 171 00:06:36,613 --> 00:06:39,791 and know that anything you can give, anything, 172 00:06:39,834 --> 00:06:41,401 will help. 173 00:06:41,444 --> 00:06:44,798 ["PENNSYLVANIA 6-5000" PLAYING] 174 00:06:44,841 --> 00:06:47,104 ♪ 175 00:06:51,850 --> 00:06:53,897 [FARTING RHYTHMICALLY] 176 00:06:53,940 --> 00:06:54,985 - COLIN: Oh, wow. - [PASSENGERS GROANING] 177 00:06:56,682 --> 00:06:59,468 [CHIMING] 178 00:06:59,512 --> 00:07:01,820 - [PEOPLE MUTTERING, GROANING] - WOMAN: Disgusting. 179 00:07:01,863 --> 00:07:04,388 [MUSIC CONTINUES] 180 00:07:04,432 --> 00:07:07,001 [FARTING RHYTHMICALLY] 181 00:07:08,655 --> 00:07:09,744 - That is dynamite. - [MUSIC STOPS] 182 00:07:09,787 --> 00:07:11,484 All right! 183 00:07:11,528 --> 00:07:13,183 If you're still here, you know why you're here. 184 00:07:13,226 --> 00:07:15,447 Next stop, the night market. 185 00:07:15,490 --> 00:07:17,928 - NADJA: Told you. - COLIN: He was fantastic. - NANDOR: Well done. 186 00:07:17,971 --> 00:07:19,626 - Are you still doing requests? - PERFORMER: Not for a couple hours. 187 00:07:19,670 --> 00:07:22,238 - NADJA: Ah. - Ooh. Looks pretty busy. 188 00:07:23,152 --> 00:07:24,459 Okay. Everyone. 189 00:07:24,502 --> 00:07:25,895 Come on, boy. Don't get lost. 190 00:07:25,939 --> 00:07:27,637 - NADJA: Come on. - Exciting. 191 00:07:27,681 --> 00:07:29,291 Night market awaits. 192 00:07:29,334 --> 00:07:32,251 COLIN: Holy cow. Look at all of this. 193 00:07:32,295 --> 00:07:35,212 - This is pretty cool. - NANDOR: Put that down. They're overpriced. 194 00:07:35,255 --> 00:07:37,258 NADJA: Darling, maybe it's time to get you a new coffin. 195 00:07:37,302 --> 00:07:40,523 - LASZLO: No. - Put your kids in cages! 196 00:07:40,567 --> 00:07:41,829 Witches. 197 00:07:41,873 --> 00:07:43,658 Yes, how much for that one up there? 198 00:07:43,702 --> 00:07:45,529 - You don't need any more cages. - Shh! 199 00:07:45,573 --> 00:07:47,968 NADJA: While it is progressive that the night market 200 00:07:48,011 --> 00:07:50,928 is a safe space for all of demonkind, 201 00:07:50,972 --> 00:07:52,757 sadly, we have no one form of currency between us all, 202 00:07:52,801 --> 00:07:55,021 so we have to rely on the old ways. 203 00:07:55,065 --> 00:07:56,283 Stinks. Oh. 204 00:07:56,327 --> 00:07:58,460 AKA the bartering system. 205 00:07:58,504 --> 00:08:00,332 Lots of people usually end up dead. 206 00:08:00,375 --> 00:08:01,900 I say, do you have any historical books? 207 00:08:01,943 --> 00:08:03,118 MAN: I do, sir. 208 00:08:03,162 --> 00:08:04,686 NADJA: Luckily, I come from a long line 209 00:08:04,730 --> 00:08:06,862 of highly-skilled hagglers. 210 00:08:06,906 --> 00:08:08,865 My giagiá, she once traded just a little bit 211 00:08:08,909 --> 00:08:11,782 of her thigh meat for a whole bag of onions. 212 00:08:11,826 --> 00:08:14,873 So, yeah, I think I know what I'm doing. 213 00:08:14,917 --> 00:08:15,918 We're here. 214 00:08:18,051 --> 00:08:20,011 ♪ 215 00:08:20,054 --> 00:08:21,708 Hey, girlfriends! 216 00:08:21,752 --> 00:08:22,884 How's it hanging? 217 00:08:22,928 --> 00:08:25,017 - Ja. - Ja. 218 00:08:25,060 --> 00:08:27,498 NADJA: Valkyries are a group of maidens 219 00:08:27,542 --> 00:08:29,632 who were sent by the gods to the Viking battlefields 220 00:08:29,676 --> 00:08:31,809 so they could choose who amongst the slain 221 00:08:31,853 --> 00:08:33,942 they thought was worthy of a place in Valhalla. 222 00:08:33,985 --> 00:08:35,858 They are, um, interesting folk. 223 00:08:35,901 --> 00:08:37,991 Eh. They're quite... 224 00:08:38,035 --> 00:08:39,123 They've got zero banter. 225 00:08:39,166 --> 00:08:41,996 Absolutely no laughs whatsoever. 226 00:08:43,650 --> 00:08:44,957 Okay. [CHUCKLES] 227 00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:47,961 Hold on to your huvudbonader, ladies, 228 00:08:48,004 --> 00:08:51,313 because I don't think you'll find this little tasty piece 229 00:08:51,356 --> 00:08:54,056 while antiquing in Connecticut. 230 00:08:54,099 --> 00:08:55,972 Note the cobalt blue glaze. 231 00:08:56,015 --> 00:08:58,322 The white base. 232 00:08:58,365 --> 00:08:59,803 And use of porcelain interior. 233 00:08:59,846 --> 00:09:01,021 - Ja. - Ja. 234 00:09:01,065 --> 00:09:03,024 NADJA: I literally 235 00:09:03,068 --> 00:09:06,376 just grabbed this from Nandor's room before I left the house. 236 00:09:06,420 --> 00:09:09,076 Now, what do your books tell you about fairies? 237 00:09:09,119 --> 00:09:12,950 Well, fairies are pretty little women that can fly around, 238 00:09:12,994 --> 00:09:14,038 and they live in mushrooms. 239 00:09:14,082 --> 00:09:15,780 Really? A likely story. 240 00:09:15,824 --> 00:09:16,999 What do we have here? 241 00:09:17,042 --> 00:09:18,958 A rancid pail of garbage. 242 00:09:19,002 --> 00:09:20,220 [COUGHING] 243 00:09:20,264 --> 00:09:21,832 [GROANS] Hello, my beauties. 244 00:09:21,875 --> 00:09:23,007 - Laszlo! - Laszlo! - You're looking... 245 00:09:23,050 --> 00:09:24,879 [COUGHS] healthy. 246 00:09:24,923 --> 00:09:26,011 Yeah, we've been eating garbage. 247 00:09:26,054 --> 00:09:28,188 Yeah. Love to chat, but, uh... 248 00:09:28,231 --> 00:09:29,494 got things to do. 249 00:09:29,538 --> 00:09:32,062 Enjoy your pile of shit. 250 00:09:32,106 --> 00:09:34,805 - Fuck off. Close the lid. - Yeah, fucking close it. - Yeah, yeah, well, I am gonna. 251 00:09:34,849 --> 00:09:36,068 - I just said that, didn't I? - Stop talking. Fucking close the lid. 252 00:09:36,112 --> 00:09:37,461 Fucking... Whoa. 253 00:09:39,072 --> 00:09:40,073 Real fairies. 254 00:09:40,117 --> 00:09:42,642 Well, go on, then. 255 00:09:42,685 --> 00:09:44,122 - [CHUCKLES] - They smelled like shit. 256 00:09:44,165 --> 00:09:46,081 - Oh, wicker baskets. I love these! - No. 257 00:09:46,125 --> 00:09:48,432 You don't need any more wicker bask... Oh! Sorry. 258 00:09:48,476 --> 00:09:52,350 [SNIFFS] What human dare mingle amongst us? 259 00:09:52,394 --> 00:09:54,440 - [GROWLS] - Uh, I'm not a human. 260 00:09:54,484 --> 00:09:55,833 Um... 261 00:09:55,877 --> 00:09:56,834 I'm an orc. 262 00:09:56,878 --> 00:09:59,664 [SNIFFING] 263 00:09:59,707 --> 00:10:02,189 - My mistake. Have a good one. - Yeah. 264 00:10:02,233 --> 00:10:04,105 Thank you. 265 00:10:04,149 --> 00:10:06,326 Do I really look that much like an orc? 266 00:10:06,369 --> 00:10:08,110 - [CHEERING, CLAMORING] - RINGMASTER: All right! 267 00:10:08,154 --> 00:10:09,939 Excellent. You will love this! 268 00:10:09,983 --> 00:10:12,159 - What, what is this? - This is the familiar fights! 269 00:10:12,202 --> 00:10:14,553 - Wait, what? - I haven't been to one of these in ages. 270 00:10:14,597 --> 00:10:16,730 RINGMASTER: And another sort of weak, 271 00:10:16,774 --> 00:10:18,733 flailing blow to the paunch. 272 00:10:18,777 --> 00:10:20,997 Neither of these two in any condition to be fighting. 273 00:10:21,040 --> 00:10:23,870 Basically, a vampire will say, "I have the toughest familiar." 274 00:10:23,914 --> 00:10:25,264 And then another vampire will be like, 275 00:10:25,307 --> 00:10:27,309 "No, my familiar is even tougher." 276 00:10:27,353 --> 00:10:30,052 And then they get the familiars to fight each other, 277 00:10:30,096 --> 00:10:32,099 and whichever familiar kicks the shit out of the other familiar, 278 00:10:32,142 --> 00:10:33,448 he is the winner. 279 00:10:33,491 --> 00:10:35,016 That sounds absolutely terrible. 280 00:10:35,059 --> 00:10:36,234 VAMPIRE: Crush his bones! Yeah! 281 00:10:36,278 --> 00:10:37,236 RINGMASTER: Look at him go. 282 00:10:37,280 --> 00:10:39,586 That's got to not hurt that much. 283 00:10:39,630 --> 00:10:41,938 Oh, yeah. I think we should break the arm. 284 00:10:41,981 --> 00:10:43,505 Break his arm! 285 00:10:43,549 --> 00:10:45,203 - GUILLERMO: Don't break his arm. - RINGMASTER: Oh! 286 00:10:45,246 --> 00:10:46,901 NANDOR: That's nothing. In the old days, 287 00:10:46,945 --> 00:10:48,337 they used to tear the head off. 288 00:10:48,381 --> 00:10:49,992 What are we thinking, folks? Should we do the head? 289 00:10:50,036 --> 00:10:51,907 - Oh, great, they're still doing that. Yes! - Oh, no. 290 00:10:51,952 --> 00:10:53,301 - No, shouldn't do the head. - ALL [CHANTING]: Head! Head! Head! Head! 291 00:10:53,344 --> 00:10:56,218 Head! Head! Head! Head! Head! Head! 292 00:10:56,261 --> 00:10:57,828 Head! Head! Head! 293 00:10:57,872 --> 00:11:02,139 Head! Head! Head! Head! Head! Head! Head... 294 00:11:02,182 --> 00:11:03,053 I think I want to do the head. 295 00:11:03,096 --> 00:11:05,099 - Yay! - Head! Head! Head! Head! 296 00:11:05,143 --> 00:11:08,147 [CHEERING, CLAMORING] 297 00:11:08,190 --> 00:11:09,844 Give it up for our new familiar 298 00:11:09,888 --> 00:11:12,152 champion, this piece of shit right here. 299 00:11:12,195 --> 00:11:14,198 How are you supporting this? It's so wrong in so many ways. 300 00:11:14,242 --> 00:11:15,417 You're right, it is. 301 00:11:15,460 --> 00:11:17,420 'Cause you could take any of these guys. 302 00:11:17,463 --> 00:11:19,248 - That's besides the point. - WARLOCK: Hey! 303 00:11:19,291 --> 00:11:21,686 This vampire here thinks that his familiar 304 00:11:21,729 --> 00:11:23,819 can beat any of our familiars! 305 00:11:23,863 --> 00:11:26,301 [LAUGHTER, CLAMORING] 306 00:11:26,345 --> 00:11:27,607 - Prove it! - Take off that tailcoat. 307 00:11:27,650 --> 00:11:29,479 - Yes, okay, let's do it, come on. - No. 308 00:11:29,523 --> 00:11:31,220 I'm not gonna do it. I'm not doing it. 309 00:11:31,264 --> 00:11:32,527 - Come on, let's do it. - I'm not... 310 00:11:32,570 --> 00:11:34,442 - doing it. - Right. 311 00:11:34,485 --> 00:11:35,879 Uh, no, no. 312 00:11:35,923 --> 00:11:38,100 My familiar will not be fighting tonight. 313 00:11:38,143 --> 00:11:39,928 [CROWD BOOING] 314 00:11:39,971 --> 00:11:41,756 Boring! 315 00:11:41,800 --> 00:11:44,499 Why? Is the little guy scared? 316 00:11:44,543 --> 00:11:47,286 - No! - No, Master... 317 00:11:47,329 --> 00:11:49,070 the only thing my familiar is scared of 318 00:11:49,114 --> 00:11:51,247 is beating all of your familiars 319 00:11:51,291 --> 00:11:54,512 all at once, 'cause that's how tough my familiar is. 320 00:11:54,556 --> 00:11:56,124 - [LAUGHTER] - VAMPIRE: Keep dreaming! 321 00:11:56,167 --> 00:11:57,168 RINGMASTER: Oh, them's fighting words. 322 00:11:57,212 --> 00:11:58,300 Why did you say that? 323 00:11:58,343 --> 00:11:59,737 They insulted you, Guillermo. 324 00:11:59,780 --> 00:12:02,044 And insulting you is insulting me. 325 00:12:02,087 --> 00:12:03,655 It is a matter of honor now. 326 00:12:03,698 --> 00:12:05,440 - Okay, he wants in! - RINGMASTER: He wants in! Oh! 327 00:12:05,484 --> 00:12:07,007 - He's gonna get it! - [CHEERING, CLAMORING] 328 00:12:07,051 --> 00:12:08,270 NANDOR: You're gonna get it. 329 00:12:08,314 --> 00:12:10,098 What's your name, little buddy? 330 00:12:10,142 --> 00:12:12,319 - No one gives a shit. [LAUGHS] Let's fight. - [CHEERING] 331 00:12:17,194 --> 00:12:18,457 NADJA: So, my trading is going very well. 332 00:12:18,501 --> 00:12:19,981 To the Valkyries I gave 333 00:12:20,024 --> 00:12:21,592 the vase, and then they gave me 334 00:12:21,635 --> 00:12:23,638 their rarest delicacy... 335 00:12:23,682 --> 00:12:25,814 the little meatballs in the brown water. 336 00:12:25,858 --> 00:12:28,993 I don't know why Valkyries sell meatballs 337 00:12:29,036 --> 00:12:31,170 and furniture, but I'm not going to criticize 338 00:12:31,213 --> 00:12:32,781 the ways of other cultures. 339 00:12:32,824 --> 00:12:33,869 The little tiny meatballs, 340 00:12:33,912 --> 00:12:35,305 I traded with the Imps, 341 00:12:35,349 --> 00:12:37,178 'cause the Imps love tiny foods. 342 00:12:37,221 --> 00:12:39,616 Thanks, guys. 343 00:12:39,659 --> 00:12:41,226 It's a comedy T-shirt! 344 00:12:41,270 --> 00:12:43,708 I just know that there's going to be someone 345 00:12:43,751 --> 00:12:45,841 who very much wants to trade for this. 346 00:12:45,885 --> 00:12:47,104 NANDOR: You got this, Guillermo! 347 00:12:47,147 --> 00:12:48,367 [SHOUTING, CLAMORING] 348 00:12:48,410 --> 00:12:51,066 Just hit him! Just hit him! 349 00:12:51,110 --> 00:12:53,242 RINGMASTER: That's got to be the Dodge of the Night... Dodge of the Night, 350 00:12:53,286 --> 00:12:55,289 brought to you by Dodge Ram trucks. 351 00:12:55,332 --> 00:12:57,205 Check out the new 2022 Ram Pickup at your local... 352 00:12:57,248 --> 00:12:58,858 Look, I don't want to hurt you, okay? 353 00:12:58,902 --> 00:13:00,252 NANDOR: Don't run away from him! 354 00:13:00,296 --> 00:13:01,732 Hit him! 355 00:13:01,775 --> 00:13:03,430 RINGMASTER: Whoa! 356 00:13:03,474 --> 00:13:04,866 That little fucker can move. 357 00:13:04,910 --> 00:13:06,739 Sorry. Are you okay? 358 00:13:06,782 --> 00:13:08,610 - That's my fucking guy! - I didn't touch him. 359 00:13:08,654 --> 00:13:09,960 He did it to himself, okay? 360 00:13:10,004 --> 00:13:11,614 Zero blows taken, zero landed. 361 00:13:11,658 --> 00:13:13,226 They can't all be bloodbaths, folks. 362 00:13:13,269 --> 00:13:16,099 But we have ourselves 363 00:13:16,143 --> 00:13:18,319 - a new winner... this guy! - [CROWD BOOING] - NANDOR: Yes! Suck it! 364 00:13:18,362 --> 00:13:20,235 - Suck it! - RINGMASTER: Let's have 365 00:13:20,278 --> 00:13:21,933 another fight. Hopefully he dies. 366 00:13:23,152 --> 00:13:25,111 [INDISTINCT CHATTER] 367 00:13:25,155 --> 00:13:27,244 LASZLO: Now, my point is, sometimes 368 00:13:27,287 --> 00:13:29,551 grownups lie to children when the truth 369 00:13:29,595 --> 00:13:31,554 is too horrifying for them. 370 00:13:31,598 --> 00:13:34,297 - For instance, that Pinocchio there. - Whoa. 371 00:13:34,341 --> 00:13:36,691 LASZLO: See his nose... don't stare... it's just a medical condition. 372 00:13:36,734 --> 00:13:38,694 - It's got bugger all to do with lying. - Oh. 373 00:13:38,737 --> 00:13:41,524 - And as far as I know, he was never a puppet. - Okay. 374 00:13:41,567 --> 00:13:43,918 - Behind us, see those garden gnomes? - Yeah. 375 00:13:43,962 --> 00:13:46,357 - Well, they're real. Think they look happy? - COLIN: I guess. 376 00:13:46,400 --> 00:13:48,315 They're not. They're shit scared. 377 00:13:48,359 --> 00:13:51,145 - You stare at them, they freeze. - That's sad. 378 00:13:51,189 --> 00:13:53,322 And sometimes grownups lie to children 379 00:13:53,366 --> 00:13:55,630 - 'cause the truth is just so boring. - Okay. 380 00:13:55,673 --> 00:13:58,547 - Now, you've read The Emperor's New Clothes, right? - Uh-huh. 381 00:13:58,590 --> 00:14:00,157 Well, here's one now. 382 00:14:00,201 --> 00:14:01,986 So, he's just a common German nudist. 383 00:14:02,029 --> 00:14:04,555 And behind him is a witch. 384 00:14:04,598 --> 00:14:07,079 They're very real, and one day, they'll fight 385 00:14:07,123 --> 00:14:08,777 - to get hold of your semen. - Oh. 386 00:14:08,821 --> 00:14:11,085 - But not in a fun way. - What's semen? 387 00:14:11,129 --> 00:14:12,521 [SHOUTING, CLAMORING] 388 00:14:12,565 --> 00:14:15,786 Hit him! Hit him! 389 00:14:15,830 --> 00:14:17,485 - I'm not gonna hit him, okay? - [WHISTLING, CLAMORING] 390 00:14:17,528 --> 00:14:19,531 Okay, that was really close to my face. 391 00:14:19,575 --> 00:14:21,968 Come on, don't play with our food. 392 00:14:22,012 --> 00:14:23,841 For me, just him just once! 393 00:14:23,884 --> 00:14:27,280 And another high-flying capoeira kick that does nothing. 394 00:14:27,324 --> 00:14:28,848 Look, we don't have to do this, okay? 395 00:14:28,891 --> 00:14:30,850 We're both familiars. 396 00:14:30,893 --> 00:14:32,287 - So why don't we just sha... - RINGMASTER: Smoke in the face. 397 00:14:32,331 --> 00:14:34,028 - That's got to hurt. - Don't let him do that, hey! 398 00:14:34,071 --> 00:14:36,553 Whoa! Oh! What the... 399 00:14:36,597 --> 00:14:39,209 I'm just trying to talk to you like a regular person. 400 00:14:39,253 --> 00:14:41,430 You're being kind of a fucking dick, okay? 401 00:14:41,473 --> 00:14:43,301 - Yeah, now hit him! - Look, we don't have to do this. We're both human. 402 00:14:43,345 --> 00:14:45,870 - Come on! - Okay! Are you okay?! 403 00:14:45,913 --> 00:14:47,829 You're dead! Finish him! Hit him! 404 00:14:47,873 --> 00:14:49,570 Now it seems like the hot one's running out of steam. 405 00:14:49,614 --> 00:14:51,399 Are you okay? 406 00:14:51,443 --> 00:14:53,620 Stop talking to him and just hit him, Guillermo! 407 00:14:53,663 --> 00:14:55,143 You know, nowadays there's really no reason to smoke. 408 00:14:55,187 --> 00:14:56,711 NANDOR: He's going down! Hit him! 409 00:14:56,754 --> 00:14:58,452 RINGMASTER: Now our familiar's having an asthma attack. 410 00:14:58,495 --> 00:15:00,629 - Is there a doctor? - Ay... 411 00:15:00,672 --> 00:15:02,458 - Is someone a doctor? Somebody? - [SHOUTING, JEERING] 412 00:15:02,501 --> 00:15:03,459 We're not hurting anyone to... 413 00:15:03,502 --> 00:15:05,505 Aw, fuck. 414 00:15:05,549 --> 00:15:06,637 And we have ourselves a winner again. 415 00:15:06,680 --> 00:15:08,029 NANDOR: Suck it! 416 00:15:08,073 --> 00:15:09,293 - You suck it! You suck it! - Yay. 417 00:15:09,336 --> 00:15:11,513 He won again. Yay. 418 00:15:11,557 --> 00:15:13,298 It's this way. 419 00:15:13,341 --> 00:15:15,866 So, the night market kind of goes on forever. 420 00:15:15,910 --> 00:15:17,521 - Afternoon. - [LOW GROWLING] 421 00:15:17,565 --> 00:15:20,612 It's sort of infinite and it has dark, dirtier sides. 422 00:15:20,656 --> 00:15:22,353 Bit like me. 423 00:15:22,397 --> 00:15:25,270 Nice place. 424 00:15:25,314 --> 00:15:27,839 Just gonna take a little look around or whatever. 425 00:15:27,882 --> 00:15:30,451 Small skull, nice. 426 00:15:30,495 --> 00:15:32,497 [CLEARS HER THROAT] 427 00:15:32,540 --> 00:15:34,369 [SQUEAKING] 428 00:15:34,413 --> 00:15:36,677 You got some nice stuff. 429 00:15:36,720 --> 00:15:39,202 Not what I'm looking for, though. 430 00:15:39,246 --> 00:15:41,726 I think what I'm looking for... 431 00:15:41,770 --> 00:15:45,384 might be something that you might put under the counter. 432 00:15:45,428 --> 00:15:47,647 How do I know you're not with some form 433 00:15:47,691 --> 00:15:49,868 of law enforcement? 434 00:15:49,911 --> 00:15:52,306 Hey! Fuck you, man. 435 00:15:52,350 --> 00:15:54,744 Would a cop have this? 436 00:15:54,788 --> 00:15:57,531 A piece of clothing with a very misogynistic joke 437 00:15:57,574 --> 00:15:59,533 that makes a complete mockery 438 00:15:59,576 --> 00:16:01,927 of common traffic safety laws. 439 00:16:01,971 --> 00:16:03,146 [IMITATES EXPLOSION] 440 00:16:03,189 --> 00:16:05,758 [MOUTHING] 441 00:16:05,802 --> 00:16:08,240 [LAUGHING] 442 00:16:08,284 --> 00:16:10,896 - Huh? Huh? - The bitch fell off. 443 00:16:10,939 --> 00:16:12,594 I think even my bitch would get a kick out of that. 444 00:16:12,638 --> 00:16:14,422 Yeah, she would. 445 00:16:14,466 --> 00:16:16,512 All right, you give me that shirt, 446 00:16:16,556 --> 00:16:18,514 I got what you're looking for. 447 00:16:18,558 --> 00:16:20,343 - I need eyes on it. - All right. 448 00:16:20,387 --> 00:16:21,605 Keep your knickers on. 449 00:16:21,650 --> 00:16:23,216 Let me have a look down here. 450 00:16:23,260 --> 00:16:24,609 Here we go. 451 00:16:24,653 --> 00:16:26,656 I think, uh, this 452 00:16:26,699 --> 00:16:28,659 is up your alley. 453 00:16:28,702 --> 00:16:30,748 We have a deal! Take the stupid shirt. 454 00:16:30,792 --> 00:16:32,577 - Yes! - RINGMASTER: We got a winner. 455 00:16:32,620 --> 00:16:33,708 He stole her glasses and she couldn't see. 456 00:16:33,752 --> 00:16:35,537 - Boring. - [CROWD JEERING] 457 00:16:35,581 --> 00:16:37,148 Give me my glasses back. 458 00:16:37,192 --> 00:16:40,675 I'm gonna give your glasses to your master. 459 00:16:40,718 --> 00:16:43,592 - Lot of jawboning going on. - Okay? 460 00:16:43,635 --> 00:16:46,160 Here you go. It was nice meeting you, okay? 461 00:16:46,204 --> 00:16:48,815 ...a little less hot air, but I present to you 462 00:16:48,859 --> 00:16:52,386 our new familiar champion, this guy right here. 463 00:16:52,430 --> 00:16:54,649 Never caught his name, never caught his name. 464 00:16:54,693 --> 00:16:56,783 And as a reward, 465 00:16:56,826 --> 00:16:59,003 what we all know humans love most. 466 00:16:59,047 --> 00:17:00,744 Some dried-up dog food. 467 00:17:00,788 --> 00:17:02,399 They love that shit. 468 00:17:02,443 --> 00:17:04,576 They love it. And now 469 00:17:04,620 --> 00:17:07,580 - it is time for our main event. - Yes. 470 00:17:07,624 --> 00:17:10,191 - Our champion familiar versus... - Oh, come on. 471 00:17:10,235 --> 00:17:12,412 our champion vampire, 472 00:17:12,456 --> 00:17:14,459 Gorgo the Murderer! 473 00:17:14,502 --> 00:17:16,286 - [CHEERING, CLAMORING] - Look at him! 474 00:17:16,330 --> 00:17:18,333 I'm gonna murder you so fucking hard. 475 00:17:18,377 --> 00:17:20,815 - RINGMASTER: Undefeated when it comes to murder. - Aah! 476 00:17:20,858 --> 00:17:23,079 Give us one moment. 477 00:17:23,122 --> 00:17:25,255 Murder him! Murder him... 478 00:17:25,298 --> 00:17:26,823 You shouldn't fight this guy. 479 00:17:26,866 --> 00:17:28,477 This is a guy that's gonna rip your head clean off. 480 00:17:28,520 --> 00:17:30,436 Actually, he's not. He's a vampire. 481 00:17:30,480 --> 00:17:32,047 And, remember, I'm a vampire-killer. 482 00:17:32,091 --> 00:17:34,136 Oh, yes, I always forget that. 483 00:17:34,180 --> 00:17:35,748 Okay then, go kill him! Go kill him! 484 00:17:35,791 --> 00:17:36,749 Go kill him! Go! 485 00:17:36,792 --> 00:17:37,924 Just one second. 486 00:17:37,968 --> 00:17:39,405 NANDOR: Sorry, once second. What? 487 00:17:40,884 --> 00:17:42,626 What's gonna happen when a room full of vampires sees 488 00:17:42,670 --> 00:17:44,803 a familiar kill a vampire for the first time? 489 00:17:44,847 --> 00:17:46,849 Good point. Wait. 490 00:17:46,892 --> 00:17:48,417 I think I have an idea. 491 00:17:48,460 --> 00:17:50,855 - We leave? - No. 492 00:17:50,898 --> 00:17:55,077 Vampires! 493 00:17:55,121 --> 00:17:56,471 Can I just... Give me that. 494 00:17:56,515 --> 00:17:58,778 Vampires, a fight 495 00:17:58,821 --> 00:18:01,216 between this poor familiar... 496 00:18:01,259 --> 00:18:02,784 [CHEERING, CLAMORING] 497 00:18:02,827 --> 00:18:05,221 ...my closest companion for 13 years? 498 00:18:05,264 --> 00:18:07,006 - CROWD: Yeah! - Against this 499 00:18:07,050 --> 00:18:09,706 ruthless vampire? 500 00:18:09,749 --> 00:18:11,535 This is sick! This is... 501 00:18:11,578 --> 00:18:13,754 Sorry. Can I just... 502 00:18:13,798 --> 00:18:15,888 Thank you. This is... Not you. 503 00:18:15,931 --> 00:18:17,542 This is sick! 504 00:18:17,585 --> 00:18:19,240 But you know what would 505 00:18:19,283 --> 00:18:21,025 be even more sick? 506 00:18:21,069 --> 00:18:23,332 - CROWD: What? - A battle 507 00:18:23,375 --> 00:18:24,769 between him 508 00:18:24,813 --> 00:18:26,554 and me. 509 00:18:26,597 --> 00:18:28,121 [CHEERING, CLAMORING] 510 00:18:28,165 --> 00:18:29,645 Who wants to see me pulverize 511 00:18:29,688 --> 00:18:31,735 my closest companion of 13 years? 512 00:18:31,778 --> 00:18:33,999 - Yeah! - Who wants to see that? 513 00:18:34,042 --> 00:18:35,827 Kill your friend! 514 00:18:35,870 --> 00:18:39,267 Kill your friend! Kill your friend... 515 00:18:39,310 --> 00:18:41,530 Right! I'm going to kill my friend! 516 00:18:41,574 --> 00:18:43,881 Kill your friend! Kill your friend! 517 00:18:45,275 --> 00:18:48,366 Oh, this isn't gonna take very long, ladies and germs. 518 00:18:48,409 --> 00:18:50,020 Kill my friend. 519 00:18:50,063 --> 00:18:52,414 Kill your friend... that's what we all want to see. 520 00:18:52,458 --> 00:18:54,461 All right, here we go, baby! 521 00:18:54,505 --> 00:18:56,376 - Circling... - Kill your friend! Kill your friend... 522 00:18:56,419 --> 00:18:59,162 - circling... - I'm not gonna hurt you, Guillermo. 523 00:18:59,206 --> 00:19:00,774 I'm just gonna take you out with one punch, 524 00:19:00,817 --> 00:19:02,645 and then carry your body away. 525 00:19:02,689 --> 00:19:04,343 Don't you think we should put on 526 00:19:04,387 --> 00:19:05,997 a little bit of a show for them, at least? 527 00:19:06,041 --> 00:19:07,913 It's implausible that it would take any longer 528 00:19:07,957 --> 00:19:09,916 than five seconds for me to beat you. 529 00:19:09,960 --> 00:19:12,833 Is it, though? I mean, remember last time? 530 00:19:12,877 --> 00:19:15,053 - [GRUNTS] - Hey! 531 00:19:15,096 --> 00:19:17,883 Please, I let you win to teach you a lesson. 532 00:19:17,926 --> 00:19:20,408 And, anyway, you did cheat just a little bit. 533 00:19:20,451 --> 00:19:21,845 I didn't cheat. 534 00:19:21,889 --> 00:19:23,194 You did just a little bit. 535 00:19:23,238 --> 00:19:24,631 I didn't have to. 536 00:19:24,674 --> 00:19:26,634 - RINGMASTER: Come on, this is boring! - Okay... 537 00:19:26,677 --> 00:19:28,811 little man, bring your best. 538 00:19:28,854 --> 00:19:31,423 [CROWD CHEERING, CLAMORING] 539 00:19:31,466 --> 00:19:33,948 RINGMASTER: Okay, looks like the little guy's voguing now. 540 00:19:33,992 --> 00:19:36,255 Whoa! 541 00:19:36,298 --> 00:19:38,954 We got stakes! We got stakes. 542 00:19:38,998 --> 00:19:40,957 - You cheeky little shit! - Oh, the stakes are high. 543 00:19:41,001 --> 00:19:44,222 - Come here! - Oh, we got ourselves a fight, ladies and gentlemen. 544 00:19:44,266 --> 00:19:46,922 We got ourselves a fight. 545 00:19:46,965 --> 00:19:48,706 Come on, kill your friend. 546 00:19:48,750 --> 00:19:50,317 Oh, and we're doing flips... 547 00:19:50,361 --> 00:19:52,625 He killed my friend. 548 00:19:52,669 --> 00:19:53,626 - What the fuck? - That was a mistake. 549 00:19:53,670 --> 00:19:55,062 Stop throwing stakes. 550 00:19:55,106 --> 00:19:56,848 - It's rude. - Keep going, or... 551 00:19:56,891 --> 00:19:59,503 Eh. 552 00:19:59,547 --> 00:20:01,681 RINGMASTER: Holy shit, he's Phantom Menacing. 553 00:20:01,724 --> 00:20:04,074 Lot of flash. 554 00:20:04,118 --> 00:20:06,425 Regular Darth Maul, Jr. over here. 555 00:20:06,469 --> 00:20:09,255 I call him Darth Small. 556 00:20:09,299 --> 00:20:10,954 - Whoa! - Aah! 557 00:20:10,997 --> 00:20:12,346 RINGMASTER: Boom goes the dynamite! 558 00:20:12,390 --> 00:20:14,523 I am the winner! 559 00:20:14,567 --> 00:20:15,960 RINGMASTER: Uhp, and look, and there he goes. He's on the run. 560 00:20:16,003 --> 00:20:17,353 That's right, you don't fuck with me! 561 00:20:17,397 --> 00:20:19,007 RINGMASTER: Dumb move to run from a vampire. 562 00:20:19,051 --> 00:20:21,315 - I am the winner! - Then again, he is a familiar. 563 00:20:21,358 --> 00:20:23,753 And they're known for being dumb pieces of shit. 564 00:20:23,797 --> 00:20:25,276 Uh, your friend's up there. 565 00:20:25,320 --> 00:20:26,757 The fuck? 566 00:20:26,801 --> 00:20:28,846 There he is, go! Kill him! 567 00:20:28,890 --> 00:20:31,241 - Murder him! - Oh. 568 00:20:31,284 --> 00:20:33,853 That's nice. How much for this one? 569 00:20:33,897 --> 00:20:35,247 [SWORDS CLANGING] 570 00:20:35,290 --> 00:20:36,901 RINGMASTER: It's getting slicey. 571 00:20:36,944 --> 00:20:39,252 We got a swordfight. 572 00:20:39,295 --> 00:20:41,255 Getting a little edgy. Whoa! 573 00:20:41,298 --> 00:20:43,474 Collateral damage, but we love to see it, folks. 574 00:20:43,518 --> 00:20:45,129 - Look what you made me do! - What? 575 00:20:45,173 --> 00:20:48,481 Guillermo, you're really starting to piss me off! 576 00:20:48,525 --> 00:20:50,179 - RINGMASTER: Now he's swinging. - GUILLERMO: It was your idea, remember?! 577 00:20:50,222 --> 00:20:52,095 - Get back here! - GUILLERMO: This is your plan! 578 00:20:52,138 --> 00:20:54,707 - Stop hiding behind Greg! - GUILLERMO: Why are you mad at me? 579 00:20:54,751 --> 00:20:56,971 - NANDOR: Sorry, can I... - Is this still part of the game? 580 00:20:57,015 --> 00:20:59,147 - Fuck you! - RINGMASTER: Now we're getting somewhere. 581 00:20:59,191 --> 00:21:02,108 Okay, that fucking hurts, you fucking dick! 582 00:21:02,151 --> 00:21:03,371 - [GRUNTING] - NANDOR: Ah, you're disarmed! 583 00:21:06,201 --> 00:21:08,944 - [GRUNTING] - Get back. 584 00:21:08,987 --> 00:21:11,120 - Aah! - RINGMASTER: Shit. 585 00:21:11,163 --> 00:21:13,340 I guess Peter Pan can't fly. 586 00:21:13,384 --> 00:21:15,648 Oopsies. 587 00:21:15,692 --> 00:21:18,173 RINGMASTER: A predictable end, but an end 588 00:21:18,217 --> 00:21:19,784 - nonetheless. - Yeah! 589 00:21:19,827 --> 00:21:22,091 - Are you not entertained? - I killed my friend! 590 00:21:22,135 --> 00:21:23,832 I killed my friend! 591 00:21:23,877 --> 00:21:26,183 I may have killed my friend. 592 00:21:26,227 --> 00:21:27,925 RINGMASTER: Oh, shit! He's got a shovel! 593 00:21:27,969 --> 00:21:30,363 Hey-oh! 594 00:21:30,407 --> 00:21:32,626 [CHEERING, CLAMORING] 595 00:21:32,670 --> 00:21:35,630 Finish him! Finish him! 596 00:21:35,674 --> 00:21:38,156 Finish him! 597 00:21:38,199 --> 00:21:40,202 Finish him! Finish him! 598 00:21:40,246 --> 00:21:42,249 They are right, Guillermo. 599 00:21:42,292 --> 00:21:44,599 Finish me. 600 00:21:44,642 --> 00:21:47,429 - Finish him! Finish him! - RINGMASTER: Finish that motherfucker! 601 00:21:47,472 --> 00:21:49,214 NANDOR: Finish me! 602 00:21:49,258 --> 00:21:51,260 What kind of a vampire am I 603 00:21:51,303 --> 00:21:53,742 if cannot even defeat my own familiar?! 604 00:21:53,785 --> 00:21:55,266 I'm not gonna finish anyone, okay? 605 00:21:55,309 --> 00:21:57,268 I'm gonna let you win. 606 00:21:57,311 --> 00:22:00,315 I don't really want to kill you, but if it is the only way, 607 00:22:00,359 --> 00:22:02,754 - then thank you. - What? No. 608 00:22:02,797 --> 00:22:04,539 I don't mean really kill me. 609 00:22:04,582 --> 00:22:06,193 Just, like, pretend to snap my neck or something, 610 00:22:06,236 --> 00:22:07,891 so we can get the hell out of here. 611 00:22:07,935 --> 00:22:09,327 - That's a much better plan. - RINGMASTER: I want to see 612 00:22:09,371 --> 00:22:10,808 - the blood! - Ready? - Ready. 613 00:22:10,852 --> 00:22:13,943 [GRUNTS] Hey! 614 00:22:13,986 --> 00:22:16,685 - [CROWD CHEERING] - RINGMASTER: Snap! Oh! Oh, oh, oh! 615 00:22:16,729 --> 00:22:19,298 He's dead as a doornail. 616 00:22:19,341 --> 00:22:22,345 Dead as doornail, ladies and gentlemen. 617 00:22:22,389 --> 00:22:25,219 We learned a lot tonight here at familiar fights. 618 00:22:25,262 --> 00:22:27,090 A lot about friendship, and how stupid 619 00:22:27,134 --> 00:22:29,267 and false and artificial it is. 620 00:22:29,311 --> 00:22:30,747 - You okay? - RINGMASTER: Hey, folks, make sure 621 00:22:30,791 --> 00:22:32,968 to take your familiar corpses with you as you leave. 622 00:22:36,059 --> 00:22:36,973 NADJA: One moment. 623 00:22:37,016 --> 00:22:38,062 I'll be right with you, Xerxes. 624 00:22:38,105 --> 00:22:40,369 - [WHISPERING] - So... 625 00:22:40,413 --> 00:22:42,632 we went to the night market last night. 626 00:22:42,676 --> 00:22:46,246 Oh, my, the night market, what fun. 627 00:22:46,290 --> 00:22:48,640 - Mm. - I already had plans last night, 628 00:22:48,684 --> 00:22:50,687 so it's a good thing I didn't get invited. 629 00:22:50,730 --> 00:22:53,212 And, here, I got you a gift. 630 00:22:53,256 --> 00:22:56,260 It came with these weird vials of whatever this is. 631 00:22:56,303 --> 00:22:59,177 I think I'll probably just keep all of these. 632 00:22:59,220 --> 00:23:01,615 And you can use the box to store your brooches or whatever. 633 00:23:01,658 --> 00:23:04,444 This is for me? This is so kind. 634 00:23:04,487 --> 00:23:06,969 I am very kind. Very good boss. 635 00:23:07,013 --> 00:23:09,103 GUIDE: I cannot remember the last time 636 00:23:09,146 --> 00:23:10,888 someone got me a gift. 637 00:23:10,932 --> 00:23:12,803 And I do have a lot of brooches. 638 00:23:12,847 --> 00:23:15,415 - I didn't think anyone noticed... - Oh! 639 00:23:15,459 --> 00:23:16,590 You have detected 640 00:23:16,634 --> 00:23:18,506 the sweet, intoxicating scent of the... 641 00:23:18,550 --> 00:23:21,032 [INHALES DEEPLY] Water Lily of The Nile. 642 00:23:21,075 --> 00:23:23,296 - Haven't you, Xerxes? - Uh-oh. 643 00:23:23,339 --> 00:23:24,340 NADJA: Water Lily 644 00:23:24,384 --> 00:23:25,428 of the Nile. 645 00:23:25,472 --> 00:23:26,648 That is what they call it. 646 00:23:26,691 --> 00:23:29,217 It's a medicinal flower. 647 00:23:29,260 --> 00:23:30,914 It's a narcotic that the Egyptians 648 00:23:30,958 --> 00:23:32,525 used to bury with their dead in order 649 00:23:32,569 --> 00:23:34,919 to help ease the sufferings of the afterlife. 650 00:23:34,963 --> 00:23:37,357 And according to the Compendium Narcoticum, 651 00:23:37,401 --> 00:23:40,318 - LASZLO: Some third-rate cobbler... - it is the only drug 652 00:23:40,361 --> 00:23:42,843 that helps with the pain of being a wraith. 653 00:23:42,887 --> 00:23:44,367 Very hard to come by. 654 00:23:44,411 --> 00:23:45,847 And it is said 655 00:23:45,891 --> 00:23:48,024 that those little gobshites will do anything for it. 656 00:23:49,373 --> 00:23:52,595 Do I have enough of these to give to all of the wraiths? No. 657 00:23:52,638 --> 00:23:55,338 Do I have enough of these to give to the one wraith 658 00:23:55,381 --> 00:23:57,428 who tells all the other wraiths what to do? 659 00:23:57,471 --> 00:23:59,430 Maybe. 660 00:23:59,473 --> 00:24:02,434 I think that is probably all I need. 661 00:24:02,477 --> 00:24:04,306 Don't you?! 662 00:24:04,350 --> 00:24:06,309 GUIDE: He won't do it. 663 00:24:06,353 --> 00:24:08,224 Union solidarity is a big deal to them. 664 00:24:08,268 --> 00:24:09,966 "We have a deal." 665 00:24:10,010 --> 00:24:11,882 There you go. Pleasure doing business with you. 666 00:24:11,926 --> 00:24:13,318 That's how it's done. 667 00:24:15,191 --> 00:24:18,021 - [INDISTINCT WHISPERING] - GUIDE: I don't think they're happy. 668 00:24:18,064 --> 00:24:21,416 NADJA: If they all vote, he can overrule them, right? 669 00:24:21,460 --> 00:24:24,246 - What? - [GUIDE GASPS] 670 00:24:24,290 --> 00:24:25,334 GUIDE: Oh! 671 00:24:25,378 --> 00:24:28,382 GUIDE: Oh, no! 672 00:24:28,425 --> 00:24:30,428 Mm, shit, shit, shit. 673 00:24:30,472 --> 00:24:33,606 "Xerxes is no longer our leader. 674 00:24:33,650 --> 00:24:36,480 Also, he is dead." Obviously. 675 00:24:36,523 --> 00:24:38,221 Fine! Fuck it! 676 00:24:38,264 --> 00:24:40,311 You can have Mondays off with pay. 677 00:24:40,354 --> 00:24:41,616 And I will build you five 678 00:24:41,660 --> 00:24:43,358 new supply closets for you to sleep in. 679 00:24:44,707 --> 00:24:46,493 - [GROANS] - [CHUCKLES] 680 00:24:46,536 --> 00:24:48,234 [SPITS] 681 00:24:48,277 --> 00:24:50,280 - Now get back to work! - [INDISTINCT WHISPERS] 682 00:24:52,631 --> 00:24:54,416 There we go. 683 00:24:54,459 --> 00:24:56,201 I know you've had a disappointing day, 684 00:24:56,245 --> 00:24:58,683 so no rehearsal tonight. 685 00:24:58,726 --> 00:25:01,208 Would you like me to read one of your fairy stories to you? 686 00:25:01,252 --> 00:25:02,949 Uh, that's okay. I-I don't think 687 00:25:02,993 --> 00:25:05,300 I want to read those anymore. 688 00:25:05,344 --> 00:25:07,390 Maybe, can you read me something 689 00:25:07,434 --> 00:25:09,697 from one of your real books about real stuff? 690 00:25:09,740 --> 00:25:11,613 I thought you'd never ask. 691 00:25:11,656 --> 00:25:14,051 [LAUGHS] 692 00:25:14,095 --> 00:25:16,837 One of my personal favorites. Oh, yes. 693 00:25:16,881 --> 00:25:19,711 "The village of Holcomb stands 694 00:25:19,754 --> 00:25:23,281 "on the high wheat plains of western Kansas, 695 00:25:23,324 --> 00:25:26,502 a lonesome area that other Kansans call 'out there.'" 696 00:25:26,546 --> 00:25:28,723 - Are you still awake? - Um, yeah. 697 00:25:28,766 --> 00:25:31,248 It gets very heavy from here on in. 698 00:25:31,292 --> 00:25:35,253 ♪ This little piggy went to market ♪ 699 00:25:35,297 --> 00:25:39,737 ♪ And this little piggy stayed home ♪ 700 00:25:39,780 --> 00:25:43,960 ♪ This little piggy had roast beef ♪ 701 00:25:44,004 --> 00:25:48,357 ♪ This little piggy had none ♪ 702 00:25:49,402 --> 00:25:50,969 ♪ How I recall ♪ 703 00:25:51,013 --> 00:25:53,799 ♪ My dear old mother ♪ 704 00:25:53,843 --> 00:25:58,632 ♪ Putting me to bed ♪ 705 00:25:58,676 --> 00:26:02,550 ♪ She tucked me in and said ♪ 706 00:26:02,594 --> 00:26:07,643 ♪ To her little sleepyhead ♪ 707 00:26:07,687 --> 00:26:09,994 ♪ This little piggy ♪ 708 00:26:10,038 --> 00:26:20,052 ♪ Stayed home. ♪ 709 00:26:20,096 --> 00:26:25,493 ♪ Stayed home. ♪